February 4, 2011

Palins Officially Trademarking Stupidity

by Jack Stuef 5:20 pm February 4, 2011

Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin’s bid to trademark both her name and that of her daughter Bristol ran into trouble at the Patent and Trademark Office because the application forms were not signed, government records show.

Of course they didn’t sign the forms. They would have to be paid for those autographs. [Reuters]

98 comments 3561 Views

{ 98 comments }

EdFlintstone February 4, 2011 at 5:33 pm

X doesn't count I guess.

jim89048 February 4, 2011 at 9:16 pm: Shoulda tried "T"

chascates February 4, 2011 at 5:35 pm

She should also add 'grifter', 'opportunist', and 'golddigger' to the words she wants to own.

PuckStopsHere February 5, 2011 at 12:35 am: Is cunt already TM'd?

metamarcisf February 4, 2011 at 5:37 pm

And the logo will be a shot of her & Bristol clubbing halibut to death on their fishing boat

nounverb911 February 4, 2011 at 5:38 pm

I trademarked "Bristol Meth" several weeks ago.

trampndirtdown February 4, 2011 at 9:33 pm: Better grab "hard ass-worker" also too.

metamarcisf February 4, 2011 at 5:39 pm

And speaking of Palin, please join me in support of the repeal of Georgia law (SB 308), which will make it lawful once again to carry guns in mental institutions.

EdFlintstone February 4, 2011 at 5:45 pm

It's good to see Georgia stepping up its game in the modern confederetardacy.

Lost_Teabaggers February 4, 2011 at 6:33 pm

Good god…look at that P-score…you been out raising havok with the Beerfart set? Or just snapping pics of their rentboys, again?

DustBowlBlues February 6, 2011 at 6:35 pm: I always thumbs up him/her/it and reply, but it doesn't help. I don't know what meta does when s/he/it isn't on the wonket. Maybe Meta is e the tutor in an online class for retards.

kenlayisalive February 4, 2011 at 5:42 pm

Seems that Limey Lizzie had better get Alaskunt trademarked pretty quick.

Radiotherapy February 4, 2011 at 9:53 pm: Alaskunt™, got it.

PublicLuxury February 4, 2011 at 5:42 pm

Jesus H Christ! Sarah can't even finish a fucking form. Quitter!

ifthethunderdontgetya February 4, 2011 at 5:46 pm

Stupidity™

Her attorneys are calling now, Jack.
~

CapnFatback February 4, 2011 at 5:47 pm

Sounds like Palinman is gonna have to either become a Monty Python fan or else cough up some serious cash.

Lost_Teabaggers February 4, 2011 at 6:46 pm: Wait…isn't he like her bodyguard or something? Palinman= mild mannered, child molesting boyscout leader by day…and by night he dons his red, white and…uh, white to become Palinman! Maybe his batsignal is just a $ sign so she knows who is open fer griftin'
Radiotherapy February 4, 2011 at 9:52 pm: I© think® it's© Palinman™, but© OK™.
kenlayisalive February 5, 2011 at 8:44 pm: JE-sus. Just when I thought my opinion on the worthiness of US culture had reached a nadir, you've gone and sprung a secret trap door.

MinAgain February 4, 2011 at 5:48 pm

I wonder if they realize that trademarking their names won't keep commentators from writing unflattering articles about them.

the_problem_child February 4, 2011 at 6:19 pm: Nope. In fact, their parasite lawyer has convinced them that it will. Worth his weight in trucknutz, that Van Flein is.

edgydrifter February 4, 2011 at 5:49 pm

"The office also said Palin's application failed to show that her name had been used in commerce and could also be rejected on those grounds."
In other words, she's completely worthless.

transfatz February 5, 2011 at 5:55 am: "Used in commerce" says it all for this pair.

SheriffRoscoe February 4, 2011 at 5:57 pm

President Sarah Palin™.

I can't take anymore of this. I'll be outside banging my head against a tree if anybody's looking for me.

emmelemm February 4, 2011 at 7:31 pm

Brought to you by Carl's Jr.

trampndirtdown February 4, 2011 at 9:35 pm: Why do you keep saying that?
kenlayisalive February 5, 2011 at 8:44 pm: as in this bout of violent diarrhea… ?

horsedreamer_1 February 6, 2011 at 1:18 am

SHE'S GOT WHAT PLANTS CRAVE.

metamarcisf February 4, 2011 at 6:02 pm

I wonder what Dana Milbank thinks about this…

donner_froh February 4, 2011 at 6:04 pm

because the application forms were not signed

Looks like her usual –Sarah Palin (X) her mark–wasn't quite good enough for those elitists at the Patent and Trademark office

LionelHutzEsq February 4, 2011 at 6:08 pm

Does this mean I might have problems with the marketing of my new "Bristol Palin Power Dildo, it will put the Aiyeee!!!! in Abstinence." TM (c).

Zvi_Bleindmeis February 4, 2011 at 6:09 pm

I had better get my paperwork submitted to trademark "refudiate" and the letter T.

Lost_Teabaggers February 4, 2011 at 6:48 pm

Just don't go trademarking "ing" because she hasn't used "ing" in a spoken sentence her entire life.

bagofmice February 4, 2011 at 6:52 pm: She IS known for 'T'ing.

TanzbodenKoenig February 4, 2011 at 6:16 pm

Did they go ahead and patent "Dumb Cunt" and "Hypocritical Jailbait Slut" too?

Lost_Teabaggers February 4, 2011 at 6:49 pm: I'm guessing snow-cunt and cumdumpster are still not trademarked by either mother or daughter at this moment though cumdumpster was Levi's pet name for Bristol.

Monsieur_Grumpe February 4, 2011 at 6:18 pm

Just when you think Palin can't get any vainer or greedier… BAM!

Pop_Socket February 4, 2011 at 6:21 pm

Truth is always more ridiculous than fiction because fiction has to make sense.

CalamityJames February 5, 2011 at 9:54 pm: Ever read a bible? Enough said.

Extemporanus February 4, 2011 at 6:27 pm

Per the advice of counsel, I am leveraging this opportunity to notify the blogosphere that I have trademarked the term tardmarked™—which I neologized in a comment pertaining to a previous post—and that going forward, any worthly Wokette skum wishing to employ said term are hereby compelled pursuant to existing IntenseDebate© copyright law to remunerate me by means of a satisfying fisting prior to so doing, or face swift and unrepudiatable legal action.

bagofmice February 4, 2011 at 6:53 pm

But is it refudiatable?

Extemporanus™ February 4, 2011 at 7:11 pm

DAMN YOU SPELLING AUTOCORRECT!

And damn you, BagOfLightlySaltedPoisonMiceDick, for replying to my comment before I noticed and corrected the incorrectly correctly spelled spelling error that I actually, yet obviously unsuccessfully, made an effort to refudiate while I was making it!

Also, too, fuck you, IntenseDebate.

bagofmice February 4, 2011 at 9:51 pm: I humbly accept a mouse sized extenperanus damning.

SorosBot February 4, 2011 at 6:36 pm

If Palin really thinks this will mean that she can sue anyone who uses who name in a book title without her permission, there is a certain precedent involving her current part-time employer she should know about:
http://web.archive.org/web/20031118184305/http:/a...

"The plaintiff, Fox News Network, has moved for a preliminary injunction to enjoin the defendants from using the phrase "fair and balanced" and any photographs of Bill O'Reilly or other Fox personnel in connection with Mr. Franken's book. Accordingly, the standard is whether Fox has shown irreparable harm, a likelihood of success, and a balancing of equities in its favor.

There are hard cases and there are easy cases. This is an easy case, for in my view the case is wholly without merit, both factually and legally. Accordingly, the motion for a preliminary injunction is denied."

emmelemm February 4, 2011 at 7:47 pm

Enjoyed the link. That was a good read.

HistoriCat February 4, 2011 at 8:50 pm

Seriously – I would say that her lawyer should be ashamed of himself for not explaining why this is a really stupid idea but as Sarah Palin's lawyer, he is incapable of shame.

trampndirtdown February 4, 2011 at 9:41 pm

Actually i hope her lawyer happens to walk away with most of her grift money. I think it would be a fitting end to her long long loooong 15 minutes of fame.

zhubajie February 5, 2011 at 5:48 am

Speaking of which, has anyone read of how the RNC is deeply in debt, nearly bankrupt? I'm hoping Steele has sent it all the the bank of Vanuatu or something and will laugh at the RNC as he writes his scurrilous memoir of his days running them into the ground.

Rotundo_ February 6, 2011 at 7:31 pm: Now that Mikey is out of the way, the dollars will roll in again, rest fully assured. The money people were sitting out on donating while Mikey was in, in no small part because of his upholstery, but also due to his clown act and some bad accounting and spending on things like bondage lesbian theme bar outings for the younger GOP set. Now, with the help of the totally non-politically oriented supreme court, the monies will be a pilin' high as an elephants' eye and the rich folks can hide behind their corporate skirts and tut tut tut at the debasement of democracy. I do hope, as you do, that Mike has a pearl harbor fund and a pearl harbor file to keep on going with. I don't see him as Fox commentator or political consultant material.
MsQuasimodo February 8, 2011 at 2:23 am: Isn't the "real" Repub party funded by the Coke er Koch brothers thanks to Citizens United? Isn't the RNC just the front organization?

AutomaticPilot February 4, 2011 at 6:41 pm

Ohhh! THAT's why she's been so silent lately on the situation in Egypt. Her mind is on more important matters.

ChessieNefercat February 4, 2011 at 7:11 pm: "Her mind is on more important matters. "
Her mind is on more comprehensible matters.

Also she hasn't a clue what's going on in Egypt, other than she hasn't heard that '80s song even once, and why not, also too?

Oh, and so far? No one in Egypt seems to be poised, waiting, for what the Alaskan Snowdunce has to contribute. So the hell with them.

smokefilledroommate February 4, 2011 at 6:50 pm

Dipshitz™ pat. pending

Come here a minute February 4, 2011 at 6:54 pm

There goes the lamestream US Patent and Trademark Office criticizing Trig Palin. Why do they aspire Americans to celebrate the Soviet style red tape?

ChessieNefercat February 4, 2011 at 7:12 pm

They're retards?

Extemporanus™ February 4, 2011 at 7:24 pm

Sarah Palin would find that comment patently offensive.

Radiotherapy February 4, 2011 at 9:46 pm: I bow before you my semiotic friend.
You have made Ronald Reagan® Day truly memorable.

Pragmatist2 February 4, 2011 at 6:55 pm

What's the logo?
A train wreck?

chickensmack February 7, 2011 at 9:24 am: Taggart Transcontinental on Rearden Steel.

Beetagger February 4, 2011 at 7:06 pm

Why does big government have to get involved in Sarah Palin?

PsycWench February 4, 2011 at 7:10 pm

Next she will move to trademark "you betcha". Also "maverick" because McCain sure isn't using it anymore.

Barrelhse February 4, 2011 at 7:21 pm

US of A, we hardly knew ye.

BerkeleyBear February 4, 2011 at 8:20 pm

This is a classic stupid mistake (and apparently yet another example of the Palins using counsel Lionel Hutz would look down on).

Trademarks are indicators of source, and attach to the provider of services or goods based on use in commerce. You can't register a trademark before use (although you can file an intent to use application), and something like a proper name can't be trademarked without a demonstration of what is called secondary meaning (that people associate the mark, whatever it is, as a source of the goods and services in question, rather than just assoicating the name as a name/descriptor in other senses). The basic problem here is that Sarah Palin isn't a source of any goods or services, just asshattery. To that end, apparently her attorney submitted a clip of her speaking on Fox News as evidence of the use of the term – but in that context, the chyron labeling her as Sarah Palin is just descriptive, not a trademark use. Apparently someone on her side did in fact think they could own any and all uses of her name. Dumbasses.

the_problem_child February 4, 2011 at 8:34 pm

Classic stupid mistake made by a guy who isn't an intellectual property expert, I bet. Grifter is cheap and doesn't believe in "specialists".

jim89048 February 4, 2011 at 9:30 pm

I don't even think she could trademark her screeching voice. Harley tried to trademark the exhaust note of their motorcycles for 5 or 6 years, unsuccessfully.

Zvi_Bleindmeis February 4, 2011 at 10:42 pm

"With a name like Sarah Palin, it's got to be good!"

The dream of every trademark holder, of course, is for the brand name to become the generic term, like Jell-o, Kleenex, and Velcro. Hence: "I swear I will never eat at that Indian restaurant again. I had the worst Sarah Palin of my life for the next five hours."

BerkeleyBear February 4, 2011 at 11:23 pm: Actually, that's the nightmare – because if it becomes generic, you can't protect it. It does happen (elevator, escalator, and a number of other words I'm forgetting at the moment) but fear of that is why Coke and Pepsi both spend a ton of money making sure no one misuses their names as general labels. Xerox almost lost their protection, and Velcro has gone to great lengths to protect itself.

If you watch commercials for consumer crap on TV, you'll see it. Those dorky pillow pet things (which is about as weak of a mark as you can get) are described as having a "hook and loop closure" not Velcro, because they are too cheap to pay for the trademarked (and now off patent) brand. Ditto for what used to be called "Teflon" tape for threads and such – now the generic is called PTFE tape, referring to the scientific name for the basic composition of Teflon.
PuckStopsHere February 5, 2011 at 12:41 am: I got busted for double-fisting this one, but it was worth it.

transfatz February 5, 2011 at 6:18 am

I don't know, Sarah and Bristol may well be described as "goods and services in question".

FlyOverGirl February 5, 2011 at 4:29 pm

I love you more than you could possibly know.

MsQuasimodo February 8, 2011 at 2:29 am

But but but … can't she submit her long form birf certificate as proof that she is SP, for trademark use? SP SHOW US YER BIRF CERTIFICATE!!!!

BerkeleyBear February 4, 2011 at 8:22 pm

BTW, I fucking hate trademark law because this is the bullshit people try to pull all the time. People try to block any use of anything vaguely similar to what they do, even though no one in their right mind think of it as an indicator of source. And if its a word or number, you can buffalo the PTO into issuing a registration in a lot of cases (especially if you elect to restrict it to narrow classes of goods and/or compound terms). But if its product design, you can dump huge cash into it, make a really unique product and Wal-Mart can knock it off with no problems since you haven't had time to establish secondary meaning (damn you, Supreme Court!)

Zvi_Bleindmeis February 4, 2011 at 10:44 pm

"Hello, Berkeley Bear? This is Ginni Thomas. I was wondering when you're going to apologize for what you did all over my husband in the previous comment. Buh-bye."

BerkeleyBear February 4, 2011 at 11:24 pm: Fuck him and his Wal-Mart RV'ing freak of a wife.

DustBowlBlues February 6, 2011 at 10:28 pm

Going out on a limb with my guess here, but would you happen to be one the wonket's many lawyers? There seems to be so many of that type that it seems to me like they could get together and take some legal action to benefit the english majors, of which there also seems to be many on the wonkette. Maybe we could make English the official language and start suing conservatards for misusing it? Or we could make it a felony, get to get a liberal majority in congress, pronto.

And put the Snowbilly inbreds in the pokey for a long stretch. Whatever. It's Sunday night and I'm just waiting for the stupid football game to be over so I can watch Glee.

PS I am not a 14 year old gay boy.

LakeAfflicted February 7, 2011 at 10:37 am: I'm a lawyer and an English major, so believe me when I say there's no lingua-legal way out of the mess we're in.

Rotundo_ February 4, 2011 at 8:24 pm

So what will it be? A line of outdoor wear for the fashionable mama grizzly? Eyeglass frames? Active wear for methbillies? There has to be some marketing scheme percolating up from $arahs fertile little mind. Coats designed for concealed carry? "$nowcunt-The new cologne from $arah Palin and Prince Machiavelli" there just has to be something coming up.

transfatz February 5, 2011 at 6:46 am: Lipstick?
jim89048 February 5, 2011 at 9:53 pm: ~~Bubble~~Bobbleheads.

Radiotherapy February 4, 2011 at 9:54 pm

What, she Quit™ again?

Soylent Green February 5, 2011 at 10:40 am

me thinks she tends to not sign things a lot.

DaSandman February 5, 2011 at 12:46 pm

Bristol is also trademarking the slogan "Three Holes, No Waiting."

inedal February 7, 2011 at 3:12 am: i thought bristol had already trademarked "Abstinence". or was it
"have a baby with abstinence?"

BarackMyWorld February 5, 2011 at 1:21 pm

Either she knows she's not running for president, or is planning on hitting the U.S. Government with one hell of a licensing fee.

chickensmack February 5, 2011 at 1:40 pm

I'm the uneducated rube here, but seriously — what exactly does it mean to take your own given name and trademark it?

Don't make me Google, please. Alaskunt ain't werf it.

kenlayisalive February 5, 2011 at 8:47 pm

Little to nothing I'm guessing. Just look at the Gallagher and Gallagher 2 controversy.

DustBowlBlues February 6, 2011 at 10:19 pm: I wish I had started reading this two days ago. I had no idea wonkeratti would find such humor from a couple of 'tards attempt to do another stupid thing.

not that Dewey February 5, 2011 at 10:20 pm

Here's the dildo. Howd it get dere?

horsedreamer_1 February 6, 2011 at 1:21 am

Let's Roll!

problemwithcaring February 6, 2011 at 11:39 am

This is the same lawyer that told her she owns the rights to the word Retard™.

DustBowlBlues February 6, 2011 at 10:17 pm: As long as the wonkeratti get to trademark 'tard as a suffix for words. Let those two morons have retard. God knows, they've earned the right.

AutomaticPilot February 6, 2011 at 1:36 pm