LONELY PAGE AWARENESS  2:25 pm February 4, 2011

Mark Foley ‘Reaching Out,’ ‘Touching’ Young Republicans

by Jack Stuef


You know what? There’s something charming about Mark Foley continuing to pretend he’s not deader than dead politically. It’s charming seeing him tread into the most obvious jokes over and over. He just doesn’t care. Sure, he follows half-naked 15-year-old boys on Twitter. And still talks about admiring from a distance shirtless teenage boys fishing on a lake. And only attends “Young” Republican events, especially if they’re at some sort of gay cowboy bar. He is secure with who he is and also wants to discuss municipal bond proposals! Nice work. Go for it, Foley! Just, for future reference, try to make sure the most ridiculously pedophile-looking guy in the place isn’t the one talking to the AP cameras, okay?

Please don’t call it a “comeback.” Because that’s gross.

Foley has been reentering the public spotlight over the past year. He launched a talk radio show last year and flirted with a run for the nonpartisan mayor’s office in West Palm Beach. He also was on the host committee last year for a fund-raiser for Republican Sharon Merchant’s failed state Senate bid.

“A run for the nonpartisan mayor’s office”? Is that what they call skateboarders these days?

Keep chasing that rainbow, Foley. Just don’t get caught. [Palm Beach Post/YouTube]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 69 comments }

Beowoof February 4, 2011 at 2:27 pm

And I thought Florida would be tougher on politicians hanging around high school boys rooms.
And who is the necrophiliac on Camera?

Tommmcatt February 4, 2011 at 2:29 pm

The average age of a young Republican is apparently 43.

Beowoof February 4, 2011 at 2:30 pm

I think that is the average age of the sexual predator looking for young republicans. Fortunately the kids seem smart enough to have not shown up.

OneYieldRegular February 4, 2011 at 2:37 pm

As I recall, that was about the age at which Henry Hyde committed his "youthful indiscretion."

jim89048 February 4, 2011 at 5:34 pm

Including Zombie reagan in their group really skewed the demographics.

SorosBot February 4, 2011 at 2:32 pm

Oh, Jack; you must be too young to know "Don't call it a comeback" should always be followed by "I've been here for years"; there was once a time when LL Cool J was a hardcore rapper, not an amiable TV star.

edgydrifter February 4, 2011 at 2:43 pm

LL Cool J –> LLoyd Cool John. Freaky!

baconzgood February 4, 2011 at 2:57 pm

"Foley's got a big ol' butt
I told you once, I told you I'd be true
but Foley's got a big ol' butt
so I'm leaving you
Cee-YA"

Extemporanus February 4, 2011 at 3:42 pm

♪♫ Milky, and I'm back
My ace in the hole with this brand new track
I'ma slow it up and speed it up and now you're gonna eat it up
Listen to the funky beat, my tongue is gonna beat it up
I did it but the devil didn't make me
I did for the suckers who tried to shake and bake me
Proving a point that I'm a serious joint
And you can roll me up and puff me and then I'll annoint
Your head with oil, lots of oil
Make it run like water, watch it boil…
♪♫

"Jack the Ripper" was the first rap song that I learned by heart — it was the B-side of "Goin' Back to Cali", which was, naturally, the second.

facehead February 4, 2011 at 2:32 pm

The one guy willing to go on camera to support him is a funeral director; Foley should probably make this guy his campaign manager.

Texan_Bulldog February 4, 2011 at 2:32 pm

Yeah, John Lloyd, Funeral Director, we ALL have 'inequities' we have to overcome. For instance, I get too many speeding tickets & and don't eat enough fruits/vegetables. That's definitely on the same par as being sexually inappropriate with and stalking teenage boys.

PsycWench February 4, 2011 at 2:37 pm

I spend too much time on Wonkette so I am Mark Foley's doppleganger. Except of course for being female, straight, liberal, intelligent and having a real job.

Texan_Bulldog February 4, 2011 at 2:38 pm

Oh, and Buddy Holly's ghost called. He would like you to quit making the pompadour look even more ridiculous than it did in the 50s.

BeWoot February 4, 2011 at 2:33 pm

Hey, it's Florida. Their new-ish governor committed massive Medicare fraud, their legislature is widely known for corruption and the average Florida voter is apparently dumber than dirt. Mark Foley's chances for political rehabilitation are excellent.

Negropolis February 5, 2011 at 12:46 am

Speaking of Florida, what's the difference between Miami, Ft. Lauderdale, and West Palm Beach? Is it the gradiation of Cubans?

zhubajie February 5, 2011 at 6:35 am

Carl Hiaasen's novels document it all!

Redhead February 5, 2011 at 9:59 am

And Tim Dorsey and Dave Barry…

Redhead February 5, 2011 at 9:59 am

"the average Florida voter is apparently dumber than dirt."

Or dead…

Name_Tag February 4, 2011 at 2:33 pm

donate to mark foley's campaign!

send your money orders to P.O. Box A Van Down By the River.

PsycWench February 4, 2011 at 2:38 pm

formerly P.O. Come Check Out My New Rated "M" X-Box Game.

baconzgood February 4, 2011 at 3:02 pm

I sent my money to P.O. Box Billy, Do You Like Gladiator Movies.

Negropolis February 5, 2011 at 12:47 am

My check went to P.O. Box Want To See A Donkey Show?

BornInATrailer February 4, 2011 at 2:33 pm

"Hey kids, I have some ballot petitions in my van!"

freakishlywrong February 4, 2011 at 2:35 pm

Mark Foley can run for anything he wants and win. The Republicans have no standards. They can do anything, and as long as some hateful old doesn't have to pull a "D" next to a candidate's name, even the gay, boy, stalking gay boys, won't matter. They don't care as long as their in power.

HistoriCat February 4, 2011 at 4:46 pm

Yeah, I think David Vitter proved that one.

OneYieldRegular February 4, 2011 at 2:35 pm

Where was he speaking? The set of "Tombstone"?

occams8ball February 4, 2011 at 3:42 pm

I think it is a replica of the original log cabin.

Sassomatic February 4, 2011 at 2:36 pm

I'm sure that Mark Foley has seen the error of his ways and will from now on be much better at hiding the fact that he is a gay pedophile. The Republican Party has enture seminars that teach that stuff.

PublicLuxury February 4, 2011 at 2:37 pm

I gave the husb a comeback/blowback once and do you what happened? He changed his diet . . .

Is this what is Foley doing? He probably needs to get the 'boys' to change their diets.

BornInATrailer February 4, 2011 at 2:37 pm

Camp Cabin Republicans.

ruperto32 February 4, 2011 at 5:42 pm

Izzat "Log Cabin Republicans"? I always thought that meant, "Put your log in my cabin."

Negropolis February 5, 2011 at 12:48 am

Yes, Camp Wannabangya.

nounverb911 February 4, 2011 at 2:37 pm

If Foley fails at this, he can always become a priest.

Negropolis February 5, 2011 at 12:50 am

There's always a Plan B, huh? Well, except for a frightened teenage girl in the boonies.

cheaphits February 4, 2011 at 2:40 pm

Mark Foley may be the Republican's best chance to attract young voters.

Gratuitous World February 4, 2011 at 2:40 pm

Foley is a victim of "forcible" denial

teebob2000 February 4, 2011 at 2:42 pm

How do you sign up for something like this?

Not asking for myself, I have this friend…

Chet Kincaid February 4, 2011 at 2:42 pm

I like the sequence beginning about 1:23 where he's chatting up the two "young" dudes, touches them both on the arm, says something else, and then the guy on the left recoils in horror.

i_like_tigers February 4, 2011 at 2:43 pm

If Foley can't get elected, can't we just appoint him in charge of something? …….Department of Human Services? …….Child Protective Services? ……Janitorial Supervisor?

Maman February 4, 2011 at 2:51 pm

Parks and Recreation?

genxr February 4, 2011 at 3:57 pm

Big Brothers of America?

Negropolis February 5, 2011 at 12:53 am

Boys Town?

SorosBot February 4, 2011 at 2:44 pm

While one would think a Foley comeback would be impossible, this is a country where a guy can get reelected after being caught hiring hookers to force him to wear diapers, as long as he's a Republican.

OneDollarJuana February 4, 2011 at 3:44 pm

It also appears to be a country in which a person who is so reviled that his name has become the term for the disgusting effluvium of a certain type of sexual practice feels perfectly confident in running for President. As long as he is a Republican. From Pennsylvania. Or is it Virginia?

SorosBot February 4, 2011 at 4:01 pm

Considering that he couldn't even be bothered to hire someone to mow the lawn at the PA house he owned for fake residency purposes, no matter how many timese the neighbors' complained, it's VA all the way.

GOPCrusher February 4, 2011 at 5:44 pm

Hell, Larry Craig was on his way out the door after getting caught flat-footed trolling for penii (sp?) in a Minneapolis International Airport bathroom, and got talked into not resigning. Anything is possible! Is this a great country or what?

freakishlywrong February 4, 2011 at 2:45 pm

"Have they lost their minds?" asked on Twatter. In a word; yes.
And way before Mark Foley.

zappadoo76 February 4, 2011 at 2:48 pm

Mark Foley is the Jimmy Swaggart of politics, minus the slogan, "Ah have sinned."

baconzgood February 4, 2011 at 2:50 pm

Sea-View Radio? TOTALY GAY!!!!!!! I would have been on Mantacular-Butch-Kickteeth FM.

bumfug February 4, 2011 at 2:50 pm

I just want to see the look on Foley's face when he finds out the new teenage "intern" he's chatting with to set up an "interview" is really a 25 year old working for Chris Hansen.

Maman February 4, 2011 at 2:51 pm

Politics let him do things "for" people? Should that be "to"?

el_donaldo February 4, 2011 at 2:52 pm

Young and beautiful
Someday your looks will be gone
When the others turn you off
Who'll be turning you on?

Mark won't. Mark won't. Mark woah oh oh oh won't.

assistantatlas February 4, 2011 at 2:52 pm

I feel like this entire post is "too soon."

DerrickWildcat February 4, 2011 at 3:04 pm

ICK, I saw girls at the young Republicans meeting!

widestanceroman February 4, 2011 at 3:39 pm

Today's reaching out will be tomorrow's 'mis-groping,' at his next "I lost my way but found your son's ass" press conference.

zappadoo76 February 4, 2011 at 4:03 pm

Funeral director John Lloyd: "We all have iniquities…blah blah." What "iniquities" do you have, John? Doing something funny with corpses? Getting high on the embalming fluid? Selling the same caskets twice? Burying the dear departed on top of each other? Fondling genitals with rigor mortis? Come to Jesus, John. Fess up!

BklynIlluminati February 4, 2011 at 4:11 pm

Why does sweet Caroline jump in my head after I read the title

BornInATrailer February 4, 2011 at 4:57 pm

glans.. touching glans..
reach around.. touching me.. touching you-ou-ou

tcaalaw February 7, 2011 at 3:27 pm

I never knew the origin of "Sweet Caroline" until this comment caused me to look it up.

Gorillionaire February 4, 2011 at 4:29 pm

This guy has a "talk radio show"? The program director couldn't just kill an hour by, I dunno, playing some records or something?

zhubajie February 5, 2011 at 6:39 am

Maybe on shortwave, where you pay them for the privilege. WWCR: World-Wide Crackpot Radio!

BornInATrailer February 4, 2011 at 4:55 pm

*who also have balls

Fare la Volpe February 4, 2011 at 10:09 pm

*that haven't yet dropped

GOPCrusher February 4, 2011 at 5:46 pm

Wasn't "reaching out" and "touching" young Republiklans the reason Mark Foley got in trouble in the first place?

MinAgain February 4, 2011 at 6:01 pm

Are there simply no standards for who can and cannot get a radio show these days?

mourningnmerica February 4, 2011 at 6:15 pm

More over than what…. Mark Foley is more over than… shit, I can't even think of an analogy, he is so over. All I could think of was 8-track tape, but that isn't even amusing. Anyone, feel free to help me out here….

Fare la Volpe February 4, 2011 at 10:15 pm

I do appreciate that, to the Young Republicans, working with a pedophile is okay so long as your opponent is a black guy. After all, they have standards.

lulzmonger February 4, 2011 at 11:57 pm

"I'll show you MY municipal bond propsals if you show me yours."

Negropolis February 5, 2011 at 12:59 am

Now, now, guys. I think it's time we used our fingers to turn the page (boy).

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