A bald eagle was killed by a train Thursday morning while enjoying breakfast on a stretch of tracks near Abderdeen, according to the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service.
Craig Koppie, an eagle coordinator with the federal agency, said the rare encounter happened in a flash. The bird was eating a deer carcass about 8:30 a.m. as an Amtrak train headed to Washington approached. An engineer spotted the bird and blasted his horn, but the eagle took off too slowly and was hit.
Ah, the once-proud bald eagle is now subsisting on the past and is too fat and old to avoid getting run over by foreign Progress.
Or something like that. Anyway, most birds are assholes. And also they seem like they align themselves with the Teabaggers. [Baltimore Sun via Wonkette operative "Josh Fruhlinger"]
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"while enjoying breakfast on a stretch of tracks"
First time in years that anyone has enjoyed a meal on Amtrack and they run over him. If I knew they served raw deer I would take the train as often as Joe Biden.
Did the Eagle weep?
No but it tasted like chicken.
Yummy!
American exceptionalism feeding on carrion…
Once I landed before noise and confusion
Just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion
A train was getting much closer
But I flew too slow
Though my eyes could see I was soon to be a dead bird
Though my mind could think I still was a live bird
I see my parents as I'm dying
I can hear them say
Carrion's real tasty, son
You can have a piece when I'm done
Lay your hungry beak to rest
Don't you cry no more
Carry on thou wayward manchucandidate
Let the eagle soooooar!!!
Like she’s never soooooar… oh right.
Nothing on Amtrak happens "in a flash"
America is indeed exceptional in its crappy and slow train network.
What about the speed at which some asshole will throw his/her bags in the seat next to them and pretend to be asleep?
That's one badass eagle if it took down a deer.
See, this is because Amtrak isn't in the Constitution…
~
Well, birds are more closely related to dinosaurs than to us modern humans, so I guess the "TEABAGGERS IZ BIRDZ" idea has something going for it.
These "death by rail" incidents should disappear as soon as the eagles get accustomed to an all-bean diet like the rest of America's hobos.
This would only have been better if the breakfast was a Denny's Grand Slam and the caboose sported a set of TrainNutz.
We will be hearing from Rush on this incident. This will be used as a perfect example of why government subsidies are killing more eagles than DDT.
Back when the Onion made me laugh from 15 feet away: http://www.theonion.com/articles/owls-are-asshole...
I'm sorry to hear about the eagle's death, but why is this even a news story?
If we had high speed rail, the poor bird wouldn't have suffered. But this is indeed America.
If we had had high speed rail, the train would've already been gone.
This would have never happened if they'd let Ben Franklin pick the turkey as the national bird. And every Thanksgiving we could have roast eagle with giblet gravy (do eagles have giblets?).
The deer was left there to die after Sarah Palin wounded it six times but couldn't pull off the kill shot. Suck on THAT, Dana Milbank.
Eagle took off too slowly. . .
Obviously it needs a mobility scooter.
Obviously it needs a mobility scooter
Not any more…
Let The Eagle Sore
Deer carcass on the tracks is still better than Denny's
Not as cheap, though.
Being both black and white, the bald eagle didn't know which side of the tracks he belonged on, so he naturally sat in the middle.
Who is this "Josh Fruhlinger" sending in tips? What kind of made-up name is that?
I really don't know what you're talking about, there is no way this is a metaphor for our terrible nation. The eagle was hit by a train, not a pickup truck.
Do we even have trains, in America?
Just the one and its very slow.
This is all Joe Biden's fault.
All though, with a dead deer, it might be Dick Cheney's fault. He is still looking for a heart.
I bet the eagle also ate at McDonalds.
Every time an eagle is killed a hunter gets his wings.
This is what happens when you select a scavenger to be the symbol of your nation.
Then the eagle fell on a negro who fell on a dog.
But what happened to the cow??
Was the eagle named "Michael Steele," by any chance?
Good lookin' out, "Eagle Eye".
"Well, Billy," Grandpa said, "I did see the eagle lift up his head and look right at the train. He stared at it like a deer in the headlights. And you know what the last thing was that went through that eagle's mind?""
"No, Grandpa, what was it?."
"His butt."
The soaring symbol of our country, taken out in the prime of its' life by a GE locomotive that smacked that majestic birds asshole out its nostrils before dropping off a load of people too poor or paranoid or fat to take a plane. A metaphor for our times indeed, for haven't we all had our assholes smacked out of our nostrils by a GE locomotive (in the figurative sense). Where has my America gone…. (sniff…)
That bastard Liberal conductor swerved to hit the eagle because Liberals hate America.
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