Scientists Predict 'Tsunami of Obesity' Will Destroy Humankind

Close your eyes and imagine that you are drowning in a giant ocean of human belly fat. Does this image make you unhappy? Too bad, according to scientists who say that we are all going to die in a terrible man-made lard storm. The entire world is facing a pandemic of cardiovascular disease, mostly because of the billions and billions of anus burgers served, and the sugar that everybody drinks all the time, every single day nonstop. "More than one in 10 of the world's population is obese," and the United States has the #1 fastest-growing obesity problem!

Here is what smug British people are saying about America (Freedom):

The US saw the biggest rise in [Body Mass Index] of all developed nations between 1980 and 2008, more than 1kg a decade. Increasingly sedentary occupations, less walking and cycling, more driving in cars and rising consumption of fast foods and sugary drinks are behind the rise which affects all high-income countries.

So basically we're all going to die from massive McFishstick strokes, probably while watching the latest competitive hot dog eating "game" on YouTube. [ The Independent via Reddit ]