Stay classy, Rush!Screaming radio lunatics agree: Egypt is the go-to place for “epic lolz” right now, what with all the protesters being shot dead in the streets and secret police vans plowing through crowds of unarmed civilians! And what about all those foreign journalists being rounded up? This is also very hilarious, is it not? America’s favorite right-wing queef “Rush Limbaugh” has the funny details: “Two New York Times reporters were detained. Now, this is supposed to make us feel what, exactly? How we supposed to feel? Are we supposed to feel outrage over it? I don’t feel any outrage over it … Do we feel happy? Well — uh — do we feel kind of going like, ‘neh-neh-neh-neh’?” And then Rush Limbaugh salivated all over his quadruple-chin. But woah there, his tone changed dramatically for some reason, right after he found out that Fox News reporters were also roughed up! “MY BABIES!” he screamed, as he shoveled Oxycontin into his slimy gullet, to help relieve the unbearable pain of his hypocrisy.

Here is what Limbaugh told his trucknut audience:

LIMBAUGH: Ladies and gentlemen, it is being breathlessly reported that the Egyptian army — Snerdley, have you heard this? The Egyptian army is rounding up foreign journalists.

I mean, even two New York Times reporters were detained. Now, this is supposed to make us feel what, exactly? How we supposed to feel? Are we supposed to feel outrage over it? I don’t feel any outrage over it. Are we supposed to feel anger? I don’t feel any anger over this. Do we feel happy? Well — uh — do we feel kind of going like, “neh-neh-neh-neh”?

I’m sure that your emotions are running the gamut when you hear that two New York Times reporters have been detained along with other journalists in Egypt. Remember now, we’re supporting the people who are doing this.

And then, ten seconds later, after he discovered that Fair & Balanced reporters were also in harms way:

LIMBAUGH: According to Mediaite, Fox News’ Greg Palkot and crew have been severely beaten and are now hospitalized in Cairo. Now we were kidding before about The New York Times, of course. This kind of stuff is terrible. We wouldn’t wish this kind of thing even on reporters.

Uh? [Brad Blog]

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  • OC_Surf_Serf

    Hydrocodemnation? Oxyhopocrisy?

    • Ruhe

      Following a knee surgery I had a brief brush with Oxycontin. Prior to that I had no real experience with any drugs other than Alcohol and Nicotine and I was genuinely surprised at a what a delectable and irresistible high the Oxy provided. After only a few days I was convinced that the bottle was calling out to me periodically just to remind me that it was there.
      So, maybe that's where Rush gets this crap. Maybe his pill bottles are actually feeding him lines.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        No, I'm pretty sure I remember Rush being an insufferable hypocrite asshole even before he was a junkie.

        • walstib

          The Oxy is just a sprinkle of goodness on top of his fat ass.

          • OC_Surf_Serf

            synthesized opiates for a synthesized opiate abuser who is acts as a synthesized opiate to his sheep audience…

        • Negropolis

          There was a "before"?

    • Lost_Teabaggers

      Eh….I'm still waiting for something along the lines of a stroke…can we oxycontin Rush's stroke? Oxy-stroktin? Also…if Limbaugh did suffer a stroke and began drooling while speaking in slurs would anyone notice?

  • CrunchyKnee

    Damn, I thought Limpbaugh would have been right in the mix in Egypt, he's such a real hard hitting journalist, amiright?

    • MuslinMosk

      Like Rush is going to fork over the fee for the mandatory second seat.

      • CrunchyKnee

        Especially in 1st class. That's a lot of fucking seat!

    • SorosBot

      Rush would be reporting straight from Egypt, but he got a medical discharge because of his anal cysts.

      • lulzmonger

        A true modern-day phenomenon. His mere proximity can denigrate even anal cysts.

    • YasserArraFeck

      Only if by "hard hitting" you mean "anally battering a small boy"

  • *rush makes note* – 'ask Palkot + crew for refillz'

  • prommie

    Where are all the crazed left-wing assassins? Where is our Mark David Chapman?

    • SorosBot

      When are those "left wing terrorists" the trolls keep going on and on about even though there hasn't been a single one for the past thirty-five years going to act up?

      • Beetagger

        If I ever get a terminal illness, I'm booking myself immediately on a one-way trip to Mt. Rushbo. If I go, he goes.

  • The entire trucknutzosphere is showing the class they are renowned for.

    Here's Jeff Godlstein:

    In a way, Cooper got lucky. Had the little swish visited Egypt once the Muslim Brotherhood takes power he likely would have been buried up to his chest in the sand and then stoned to death with rocks and very unstylish sandals.

    For freedom.

    • littlebigdaddy

      Still, gotta give him style points for the use of the archaic "swish." Of course, these people are living in the 1940s, so I guess it's not surprising.

    • horsedreamer_1

      When does it get revealed Godlstein is a toe-tapper?

      • elviouslyqueer

        He's got an entire category called "The Martha Stewart Chronicles," so I'm guessing three years ago yesterday.

  • There are those of us who would wish it on right wing radio commentators, though. Expect for the hospitalization part. Better to let Limbaugh (both of them) Hannity, Beck and the rest of them bleed in the camel dung filled gutter with the rest of the vermin.

  • x111e7thst

    Limp Dick piece of shit.

    • Ditto

      • V572625694

        Mega dittos. Me no likey "thinking" and other difficult things. Rush think for me. Me happy.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Thus spaketh the Rick Sanchez of that all-important bloated, syphilitic, distended-sphincter-for-brains demographic.

  • PocketsTheClown

    No cry wino IZ B OK

  • HedonismBot

    I never listen to Jabba Huttbaugh, so I guess I'm not familiar, but seriously, his sidekick is named "Snerdley?"
    I'm picturing, alternately, a skinny, evil man with a handlebar mustache and a greasy black top hat tying maidens to railroad tracks, or a pizza-faced 13-year-old with horned rim glasses and a pocket protector.
    The first guy seems like a more proper complement to Rush's evilness, but the second seems more like the "boy" Rush would "rent."

    • horsedreamer_1

      Isn't Snerdley black?

    • Gorillionaire

      Snerdley is a fictional character, very very occassionaly played by an actor. A Rush fanboy once tried to argue with me that Rush is obviously not racist because he has a black person on his staff, this fictional Snerdley guy.

    • DemmeFatale

      And don't forget Snerdley's, (who ever he is), outrageously awful coffee breath!

    • walterhwhite

      You refer to Snidely Whiplash, of course. Am I the oldest person on Wonkette?

      • HistoriCat

        Chronologically or emotionally?

      • GOPCrusher

        I was thinking Dishonest John from Beany and Cecil.

    • glamourdammerung

      Snerdly is the black guy that Rush constantly brings up (then denies throwing it out there) out whenever people point out he says racist nonsense.

    • Lost_Teabaggers

      Yes and also the guy who sang "Barack the Magic Negro" was some other slimy, middle aged white racist that wingnuts tried to pretend for months was black. I'm guessing this same guy is the one who does the "Snerdly" character as the only black people Rush would allow on the mic are Clarence Thomas and Larry Elder…so essentially he won't let any black people on the mic, period. I remember when I lived in Utah having to hitch a ride from the warehouse I was working at to the Call Center and the guy I was riding with had Limbaugh on….after recognizing his disgusting, drug fueled haze of a voice I immediately tuned him out. I think that's the last time I listened to Rush even for a second…circa 2002.

  • YasserArraFeck

    kicking the crap out of a couple of Fox News reporters. Even in the midst of civil turmoil, the Egyptians demonstrate a high level of discernment when it comes to sources of information

    • Texan_Bulldog

      I didn't realize Fox even had 'reporters'. I'm sure all the blondes are thinking, "What are these strange people that the rest of the world calls 'journalists'?"

    • it was a real poorly timed re-route on their way to Davos.

      • GeorgiaBurning

        blame it on Priceline, NEVER check the box marked "two or more stops" no matter how low the fare

    • 738838

      Who's next on the ass-kicking list? Hannity and Bill-O? Let's invite some Egyptian lads over here.

      • GOPCrusher

        I'll bet not one Fox News consumer has stopped to ask themselves why these so-called "journalists" like Bill-O, Beck, Hannity, etc. aren't broadcasting live from Cairo.
        Meanwhile, Christiane Amanpour is putting herself in harm's way to report.
        Damn, Lamestream Media.

  • petehammer

    In 10 years, science will have advanced to the point where we can verify the link between cognitive dissonance and sex with Thai boy prostitutes (or rape, if you're all technical about it). This advance in medicine will be christened Limbaugh-Cheney-Coburn-Issa syndrome (or LCCI). Those poor men sacrificed so much (baht) so that Americans could be warned of the cognitive dangers of exploiting children.

  • Because we can't all be brave like noted combat veteran and Vietnam War Congressional Medal of Honor winner Rush Limbaugh and his legions of fatass shithead listeners.

    It's so easy to point and laugh (no irony here) when you're not over there. I'm pretty sure if Rush went to Egyptia, he would be squealing like the bloated pig he is while his "anal" cyst lets go a stream of shit that would put the Nile to shame.

  • nounverb911

    If you pull the plug out of his head, will it pop like a balloon?

  • PocketsTheClown

    He does seem divorced from the situation.

    • Negropolis

      He's been divorced from a lot of things…multiple times, even.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Too bad Rush isn't there. I like to imagine him squealing like a pig.

    • GuyClinch

      He squeals like a pig everytime he eats. So, like, all the time, basically.

    • elviouslyqueer

      I like to imagine him squealing like a pig.


    • BarryOPotter

      The 'eGyptians (21st century, digital-aged Egyptians) wouldn't beat him with their bare hands. They would be forced to beat him with implements various and sundry, him being unkosher unclean a fucking pig and whatnot.

    • walterhwhite

      The Ned Beatty role in "Deliverance" should have been played by Limbaugh.


      Too bad Egyptians don't eat pork, otherwise I'd send him over there.

  • Eve8Apples

    Getting detained and roughed up by some Egyptian army men is Rush's idea of Happy Hour. The rougher the better.

    • KochFembot

      He pays extra for that shit!

  • mumbly_joe

    Rush Limbaugh: friend of liberty, champion of constitutional values.

    Of course, he also really fucking hates brown people, so that takes priority.

    • More friend of cowardice, champion of the deep fried all you can eat buffet.

  • the_problem_child

    Fat tub of toxic lard says "Wutt"?

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Limbaugh is a festering pustule on humanity's ass. I can't think of one redeeming thing about him … and I tried (for at least 10 seconds).

  • baconzgood

    So “neh-neh-neh-neh” for actual reporters, but "This kind of stuff is terrible," for the propaganda arm of the GOP. Rush you are a card. Too bad you lard ass isn't strong enough to carry your fat jowl out of your fart stenched chair to actually do somthing of importance.


    This comment is 100% snark free.

    • PublicLuxury

      Nailed it.

  • hagajim

    right-wing queef “Rush Limbaugh”

    Pretty good Riley – but way to low for old Rushbo. Maybe it ought to read right wing shit stained fuck maggot "Rush Limbaugh". That seems a little closer.

    • prommie

      Queefs are good and nice, truly, you have slandered queefs, with this comparison, Riley. Queefs are oderless, they are simply a by-product of good, healthy, enthusiastic humping, in certain positions, and should be regarded as just another form of love-vocalization, the amorous song of a happily filled vajayjay.

  • Rev_Lemonjello

    Rush really isn't that bad if you picture him as the front half of a fun-loving centaur.

    • Swampgas_Man

      I picture him as the back end, myself.

  • facehead

    It is people like Limbaugh who give loud-mouthed fat slobs a bad name.

  • it's very possible his mental illness is sponsored. anything for a hundred dolalr bill you can use to light a cigar with…

  • Oblios_Cap

    If Rush's anal cysts weren't bleeding profusely, you just know he'd be right there with the "reporters" that he considers lesser human beings.

  • Cicada

    That "my babies" quip hits a little too close to the truth. It's a highly guarded secret that all Fox News reporters are whelped from the oily, slime encrusted loins of Rush. Those shots of him in his studio carefully hide his lower body, which is a Lovecraftian horror factory full of the gaping, membrane-covered faces of the next batch of Fox News pod-clones.

    Even Yog-Sothoth recoils from the pestilence that is Limbaugh. The followers of the Old Ones have named him "The Lurker at the Thai Boy Toy Grotto". FEAR HIM!

    • Jesus, somebody ring up B.P.R.D. and get The Big Red Guy on the case before Rand Paul cuts their funding! I always knew it was Rasputin and the Thule Society behind FOX.

  • metamarcisf

    That's a cute story, Mr. Limbaugh. Now tell us the one about Marta and the vicodin.

  • horsedreamer_1



    Be funny, again, Limbaugh. Find your morning-zoo shock-jock. I know he's buried somewhere under that mass of cellulite & percodan.

    • SorosBot

      "Again"? Limbaugh's never been funny; his idea of humor is either childish insults (ha ha the President's 13 year old daughter is a dog!) or laughing at other people suffering like here.

  • baconzgood


    -Ren Hoek-

  • aguacatero

    The thing speaks for itself.

  • When they removed those anal cysts that allowed him to miss Vietnam they took away the best part of Rush.

    • Ruhe

      Do you mean to say that at one time Neil Pert was attached to Rush Limbaugh's ass? Damned parasitic Canadians.

  • Limeforceone

    Limbaugh always reminds me of the film Seven in that his character encompases each one of the deadly sins and how I would really appreciate it if each one of the punishments could be perpetrated on him simultaneously and new rule – chins don't count as flesh pounds! Does wanting bad things happen to someone who I disagree with make me bad!

  • SorosBot

    When the fuck is the extreme rage Rush and Glenn have been showing since a black man became President, along with their massive amounts of fat, going to finally cause heart attacks for both?

    • MissTaken

      Didn't he have one in Hawaii last year during the holidays or something? Or maybe I was just fantasizing that.

  • MARCdMan

    Well, if a new war is about to start, at least answer the question of who's gonna knock up Lara Logan this time.

  • GregComlish

    I deplore violence, but if Mubarak's crew has to kick the shit of somebody, then I admit that Fox news would be high on my list.

  • Instead of stoning ol Rush how about this? Before the next Beckapoluza we did a double-wide spider hole about 8' deep and just big enough around for Limpbawlz tummy to fit. We stuff a couple of socks in Rushie's mouth and drop him in the spider hole feet first. We then set a one holer outhouse over the spider hole. No butts about it, dear Rush really gets to understand what being in deep shit really means, one little poop at a time.

    • genxr

      And I'll be selling deep fried frito pie to all the hoveround Beckazoids. Heck. I'll be giving it away.

  • CapeClod

    Somebody needs to take a Gom Jabbar to that worthless piece of flesh.

    • baconzgood

      "This one only kills moronic shit for brains"

  • prommie

    Nah, garden variety smack addict

  • metamarcisf

    Rush is not fat. He's just big-boned.

    • baconzgood

      Rush is not fat. He's just big-bone(head)ed.


  • DemmeFatale

    Oh, Rush! Desperately trying to stay relevant to the right-wing nuts much?

    • HistoriCat

      He's getting desperate as Glen Beck sniffs at his heels.

  • Radiotherapy

    It's good to see the Egyptians kick a little asp.

  • MrsBiggTime

    Srsly, if sarcasm created jobs, if cynicism brought about peace, if snarky comments and insults solved real problems, I'd be all over Rush and Sarah and Bill and Sean, like stink on shit.

  • PublicLuxury

    Dear Rush,

    When you travel overseas to report on unrest, riots, genocide, or oppression of a populace then I will consider a human. Until you 'man up' shut the fuck up.



  • PublicLuxury

    Maybe his gonads didn't drop. Perhaps he's not a man in the traditional sense, meaning a penis and testicles. Does he have children? This could be his main problem. He needs to act like an asshole and bully because of his very own 'problems'.


  • Weenus299

    God Fucking Damn I wish Rush were "reporting" live from the streets of Cairo. Just this fucking once.

    • DashboardBuddha

      I bet he'd be able to feed a whole neighborhood for a week…maybe longer.

      • widestanceroman

        Dang, Dash, his back sweat alone could reflood the Nile.

        • DashboardBuddha

          Now…if we could only make papyrus with his back hair.

  • aguacatero

    But remember Rush's own brave foreign investigations, and the enormous risks he took. Just for starters:

    * it was technically illegal, even in the DR
    * even the youngest sex workers have some pretty bad diseases
    * Viagra can put an awful strain on the ticker

  • Schmannnity

    Disconnect. Fox has reporters?

  • widestanceroman

    Sometimes the Fair & Balanced tree needs to be fertilized, too. Just sayin'

  • Barrelhse

    I'd call him a pigfucker, if he didn't need to forcibly rape them..

  • glamourdammerung

    Rush's dealer needs to shoot the fat fuck in the face.

    Just kidding of course.

    I would not wish this type of thing even on a closet case, drug-addled moron.

  • notreelyhelping

    Well…at least he wasn't doing his impressions of Michael J. Fox while saying this. That's the only redeeming thing I can think of. And he was still fully clothed.

  • lulzmonger

    Man, it must really suck some major ass to have to be a wingnut right now – wanting to cheer for the America-friendly dictator, yet seeing his paid thugs ruining peaceful protests as they beat down US reporters. Do you blame Obama if Hozni stays, or if he flees? Which of the diametrically opposed chain-e-mails do you listen to?

    My heart bleeds.

  • mourningnmerica

    Am I the only one who found the Anderson Cooper beating a guilty pleasure?

    • glamourdammerung

      Not sure I would add "guilty" myself.

  • the_onceler

    Can Rush Limbaugh change his first name? My favorite band is named "Rush".

    • Barrelhse

      Yeah, and "rush" is my favorite drug effect, too.

    • mourningnmerica

      How 'bout Pink Floyd?

    • mourningnmerica

      Or The Butt-hole Surfer?

  • OneYieldRegular

    About what I'd expect from an an obese coward who sits in a chair 24 hours a day while serious people get beaten up and killed out of their commitment to supply the news that he rambles on about for self-aggrandizement and profit.

  • Sassomatic

    On the other hand, "neh neh neh neh neh neh" is the most intelligent thing he is ever said. He and Georgie must be going to night school together.

  • bagofmice

    yshxjxs the million r a yr.


  • ttommyunger

    just think, if Jabber the Gut got the crap kicked out of him, you could bury him in a matchbox

  • ShaveTheWhales

    Jeez, I manage to ignore the schmuck most of the time, but every so often he just has to once again make obvious what a piece of shit he really is.

  • zhubajie

    Any chance Rush will visit Egypt and get a beating?

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