FUNNY SWEDISH PICTURES  2:11 pm February 3, 2011

Here Are Photos of Julian Assange’s Famous Broken Condom!

by Jack Stuef

Just like a planaria dissection.

Yeah, get its good side.

Congratulations, condom. Now you too are famous.

As far as we know, the condom hasn’t spoken a word to a police about its connections to the American government or how much it paid it off. [Gawker]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 74 comments }

Barbara_i February 3, 2011 at 2:17 pm

What cheap ass "Baby Maybe" generic rubbers is he buying? Julian, pay full price so that you won't have your wiki leak.

Come here a minute February 3, 2011 at 2:18 pm

Hmmm…that page is missing from my Ikea catalog.

SmutBoffin February 3, 2011 at 2:19 pm

Will the condom take the stand and point at the defendant?

mereoblivion February 3, 2011 at 5:19 pm

Only if they can make the evidence stand up in court.

LionelHutzEsq February 3, 2011 at 2:21 pm

When will the condom be given a deal as a FOX News contributor?

metamarcisf February 3, 2011 at 2:23 pm

That slot is already filled.

ifthethunderdontgetya February 3, 2011 at 2:30 pm

How dare you call Gretchen Carlson a slot!
~

LionelHutzEsq February 3, 2011 at 4:15 pm

That's what it said!

metamarcisf February 3, 2011 at 4:37 pm

That's what she said.

arcane_allusion February 3, 2011 at 2:21 pm

Jack, are you suggesting that if we cut Julian's thing just right, it will grow another head?

Of course nobody in the class will be able to do this and instead it will just die.

ifthethunderdontgetya February 3, 2011 at 2:22 pm

Wow, dude's condom broke?

Which bastion of liberty should the CIA kidnapping squad send him to, to be tortured for the rest of his life?

For Freedoms™!!!!!!
~

horsedreamer_1 February 4, 2011 at 10:26 am

He's Australian, so maybe Malaysia or Indonesia or Singapore. Somewhere close to home.

SexySmurf February 3, 2011 at 2:22 pm

If it does not fit you must acquit.

Sharkey February 3, 2011 at 3:22 pm

That b*tch deserved it.

murkwski February 3, 2011 at 3:57 pm

came looking for this. Carry on the good work.

Native_of_SL_UT February 3, 2011 at 2:25 pm

I can't wait until we get to the part of the trial were they let the jury pass the evidence around amongst themselves. I hope they don't spoil my fun by just passing around these pictures of the damn thing. They should pass the real thing around.

Gratuitous World February 3, 2011 at 2:26 pm

The real crime here is the use of the metric system.

horsedreamer_1 February 4, 2011 at 10:27 am

Another thing, as with the 67000, yearly, for landscaping (that is breaking America's budget), for which to blame James "Earl" Carter.

edgydrifter February 3, 2011 at 2:31 pm

Bad news for Bristol–the condom was just offered a morning radio gig in Arizona. That's going to be stiff competition for her.

transfatz February 5, 2011 at 5:17 am

Bristol Palin/Broken Condom 2012

donner_froh February 3, 2011 at 2:31 pm

The top picture looks like a grinning whale.

BornInATrailer February 3, 2011 at 2:58 pm

Was going to go with Shmoo.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/06/Lif

elviouslyqueer February 3, 2011 at 3:07 pm

The bottom one looks like Mother Teresa. Take that, Catholic Church!

AtwatersGhost February 3, 2011 at 7:44 pm

nah, the bottom one looks like the crying Drama mask

Sharkey February 3, 2011 at 2:34 pm

Grad +2. Story of my life.

Schmannnity February 3, 2011 at 2:34 pm

Assange is no Magnum man.

SmutBoffin February 3, 2011 at 2:41 pm

How can you tell? The damn ruler is in centimeters! WTF is that!?

MistaEko February 3, 2011 at 10:28 pm

Julian would like to remind everyone that HE WAS IN THE POOL!

ttommyunger February 3, 2011 at 2:36 pm

And we need to see this because……

tcaalaw February 4, 2011 at 9:12 am

The truth just wants to be free, man!

ttommyunger February 4, 2011 at 9:24 am

The truth doesn't wear rubbers, it rides bareback like the reckless rebel it is: Tally Ho, Motherfucker! ;)

edgydrifter February 3, 2011 at 2:38 pm

Sakkunnigutlatande: worst safe word ever.

transfatz February 5, 2011 at 5:23 am

Gröna ballonger, gröna ballonger!

Hatrabbit February 3, 2011 at 2:51 pm

Was this photo taken before, or after, the Pentagon had the condom renditioned to Egypt?

axmxz February 3, 2011 at 2:53 pm

Few people know that "Wikileaks" is actually just the description of Assange's performance in bed: quick and drippy.

PsycWench February 3, 2011 at 9:53 pm

Isn't that a symptom?

axmxz February 3, 2011 at 2:58 pm

For the metrically challenged, 9 centimeters = 3.54330709 inches. Explains a lot.

BornInATrailer February 3, 2011 at 3:01 pm

Oh thank goodness. I was just going to ask someone to convert it for me so I'd know which way to comment.

transfatz February 5, 2011 at 5:28 am

"Sex by surprise" must mean surprised he could have sex with that.

BornInATrailer February 3, 2011 at 3:00 pm

Picture of a broken condom. God, it's just like the baby book my mother made.

DashboardBuddha February 3, 2011 at 3:08 pm

From the Gawker article:

"small scratches were observed in a few areas close to the split edge." However, the damage showed "no trace of what could be assigned to tools."

Tools? What the hell…who needs tools to rip a condom? Did the victim have nails?

Beetagger February 3, 2011 at 7:22 pm

Vagina Dentata.

DashboardBuddha February 3, 2011 at 7:27 pm

Ala Snowcrash?

elviouslyqueer February 3, 2011 at 3:11 pm

That Assange. What a total slutsats.

aguacatero February 3, 2011 at 3:18 pm

A stark relic of Pacific Gas & Electric's brief and unfortunate foray into the family planning market.

JustPixelz February 3, 2011 at 3:36 pm

The condom or are you thinking of someone in particular?

mereoblivion February 3, 2011 at 5:21 pm

The utility or the band? (Or both?)

aguacatero February 3, 2011 at 5:41 pm

The utility has recently been found to have had some welding problems with its natural gas pipes. I don't know about the status of the band's welds.

Sharkey February 3, 2011 at 3:29 pm

Kondomen no workie. Sue! Justicimen!

Amo_of_Bogio February 3, 2011 at 3:48 pm

Hey Jack, I think you mixed up the pics between this one and the "ruggedly handsome" boner article.

EatsBabyDingos February 3, 2011 at 3:55 pm

The bottom one is obviously Uncle Oscar's death mask and used for some cheesy award.

BornInATrailer February 3, 2011 at 3:58 pm

So bottom one isn't The Shroud of Turin?

LionelHutzEsq February 3, 2011 at 4:17 pm

So, you are saying that Assange is responsible for stealing Tut's penis?

DoktorZoom February 3, 2011 at 5:26 pm

Ha-ha–this reminds me of the opening scene of The Blues Brothers, where Frank Oz is giving Belushi his personal effects: "One Timex digital watch, broken. One unused prophylactic. One…soiled. "

mereoblivion February 3, 2011 at 5:39 pm

"Frame delen av kondomen." Didn't some Ibsen character famously say that? Or Strindberg? Or Victor Borge? (If I keep hopping around Scandinavia, I'm bound to find the right language.)

Moonbat February 4, 2011 at 8:59 am

The Swedish Chef, I think.

mereoblivion February 4, 2011 at 9:13 am

Really? Is Swedish cuisine rubbery and tasteless?

Moonbat February 4, 2011 at 9:30 am

Lutefisk is definitely rubbery, although I wouldn't say it was "tasteless," exactly. More like "vomitous."

PublicLuxury February 3, 2011 at 5:46 pm

Are they sure the condom belonged to Julian? It could be Tawd Palin's hooker screwing condom. I bet it's Tawd's. It's just like a Palin to try to cash in on for profit used condom trading.

Beetagger February 3, 2011 at 7:23 pm

It looks like a happy manatee.

Limeylizzie February 3, 2011 at 7:38 pm

My sister-in-law is Swedish, I shall have her translate , of course her English is somewhat odd but still…

user-of-owls February 3, 2011 at 10:05 pm

Such a terrible boor am I for being so tardy (and a codswollop off topic), but I do owe you this for your touchingly sweet affirmation some days ago. So:

Scrapes floor with his foot while trying to hide a sheepish blushing grin.

AtwatersGhost February 3, 2011 at 7:46 pm

Is that the new flavor of swedish fish….ewwwwww did I just type that?

FlipOffResearch February 4, 2011 at 12:50 am

The only appropriate quantity to sell condoms in is, of course, the gross.

gurukalehuru February 4, 2011 at 2:17 am

It ain't gonna be me, but I'm waiting for somebody to make that their avatar.

bflrtsplk February 4, 2011 at 4:26 am

Is that the same one George Costanza got from Kramer in that Seinfeld episode? It didn't work then either. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Single Condom Theory.

horsedreamer_1 February 4, 2011 at 10:30 am

That is one magic orgasm.

joobajooba February 4, 2011 at 8:43 am

Here's a whole selection of Swedish condoms, from the Swedish Association for Sexuality Education. They used to be available in fruit flavors. http://www.rfsu.se/sv/Produkter/Kondomer/

Oblios_Cap February 4, 2011 at 8:46 am

That's some Fair Dinkum there, Mate!

MinAgain February 4, 2011 at 10:06 am

I guess this is where the rubber meets the road…

Ducksworthy February 4, 2011 at 3:58 pm

Would it be blasphemy to claim to see Jeebus face in a broken condom? No? How about claiming Jeebus wants tax cuts for billionaires? Is that blasphemy?

kenlayisalive February 4, 2011 at 5:41 pm

I can't even believe I clicked on this. But I did. Obviously.

iburl February 5, 2011 at 1:05 pm

Wow, swedes are even more pervy than i thought. Ken Starr's book may have been pornography, but there were no spooge or rubber pix.

inedal February 7, 2011 at 2:45 am

julian: this is swedish justice; face it.

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