House Republicans have given up their noble battle to change what counts as rape in their latest proposed bill to ban federal funding for abortions (except, as it has always been, in cases such as rape). It’s a cowardly compromise that upsets a proud nation of people who all hope one day they too will be roofied and copulated with and be told it’s not legally rape. But you know how women’s groups are. They see the words “forcible rape” in a piece of legislation and want to ruin the fun of our most creative rapists, those who dare to dream of having a “Sputnik moment” with a woman in the nightclub bathroom.
“The word forcible will be replaced with the original language from the Hyde Amendment,” Jeff Sagnip, spokesman for bill sponsor Chris Smith (R-N.J.), said. One senior GOP aide told Huddle it’s a no-brainer to get rid of the modifier. “Such a removal would be a good idea, since last I checked, rape by definition is non-consensual,” the aide said.
Yeah, Republican aides have to check the definition of “rape” pretty often for some reason. Weird. [Politico]
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The time has come for someone to put his foot down. And that foot is me.
Are you gonna hit us with a double-secret rape?
Right saying dear..
South Beach Java
Does the accompanying picture mean the GOP is about to propose the sub-category of "charitable rape" for fat chicks?
Chicks?
You see fat. I see plush.
You see plush, GOP sees "desperate to marry beard."
Rubenesque.
Is that some version of "Rape of the Sabine Women"? Shoulda used Goya, "Saturn Devouring His Children," considering it's Republicans and all.
These are the same assholes who once said to just lie back and enjoy it. If every victim just did that, there would be no more rape. right?
Those same assholes deserve their penis to be severed from their body. We can be all cute and call it anything they want, "game of got-your-nose, gone seriously wrong" "whittling in the dark" "just trying to cut the tags off your pajamas while you sleep" The end result should always be their pecker, being catapulted into a lush cornfield.
Angry Birds.
I'm guessing all the thumbs up are from people who've never had a penis.
So . . . simply apply capitalism's principles to sexual rights, you are saying?
Yeah, the Republicans will be all for that.
It's what they do when they play rape with the pool boy, and since GOP = America, the syllogism holds.
That was none other than Texas's own Clayton Williams, who ran against Ann Richards for governor, if memory serves. A World-Class Asshole, but run of the mill for TX.
They're probably just withdrawing it so they can rewrite it to make it not rape if the victim considered wearing a miniskirt within a week of the attack.
The picture: Rome Needs Women
Get working on the economy and jerbs, ya assholes. The Hyde amendment is in place. Quit fucking around and flinging meat to your obnoxious, minority base.
The Republicans in Congress are not interested in more and better jobs for the 95% of us who have to work. They are interested in a) more power and wealth for themselves and b) more power and wealth for the already powerful and wealthy. They will do and say anything to persuade, cajole, delude, or force their flocks to support those two goals. Everything else is merely distraction and propaganda.
Don't take this the wrong way OneDollar, but DUR-HAY. (I fisted you, however).
It's the only thing they know.
I thought this GOPer Teabagging was all about jobs.
It seems that females weren't the only ones to be legislatively raped by the GOPers. Yeah, I"m looking at you Teabagging dipshits.
It's still about jobs — their own. And the newbies learned quickly that the best way to keep your job as a Republican congressman is to run around the countryside warning innocent folk that liberal feminists want to have carte blanche to approach any pregnant woman at any time and rip out her fetus with their bare hands in the name of gay marriage.
The republicans changed the wording after they realized that all their little "accidents" wouldn't go away anymore.
Dick goes in, dick comes out. Why is that?
How'd it get there? Huh?
There's only one solution: Bomb Iran.
ACH!
I don't know if you needed a new stalker-follower, but you gots one.
~
Dammit, you cloaca cocker!
Not only did you beat my brilliant comment by mere seconds, thus robbing me of a more pleasurable fisting, but I have been docked at least four thumbs in the span of the last few minutes!
I should just forcibly rape myself back to bed before things get any worse.
Did I ever tell you about a guy named Mario Buda?
If I remember correctly, the last time that his name came up, you had just bombed, too.
16/9…NON DIMENTICARE MAI!
Boom boom boom;
boom boom all night long
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bljHubXjoT0
Okay, but who put it in the vagina to begin with? Answer me that, pinheads.
No, no no. "Immaculate Conception" or God's version of "Nothin' But Net!"
It must be God. At least it seems like it from all the people who scream his name while it's happening.
One of God's mysteries we'll know…
So yeah, this happened. Are we supposed to give them a cookie or something?
Yeah, I hope no Demoncraps start going around calling this a 'victory' or anything like that. Legislation like this, even if it doesn't actually happen, makes losers of us all.
"Hahaha we got the Republicans to concede that rape is usually bad, y'all! Victory is ours!"
I think many Republican law makers look around at the likes of Michelle Bachmann and wonder, "Why would anyone want to have sex with a women, more or less force it?" and then go down to see the interns.
Actually, Republican guys look at Bachmann and think, "I really wanna tap dat." Look at all the saddos drooling over her at ye olde Free Republic.
It appears their proclivities run the thin gamut from 'Fresh-Faced Young Boy Intern' to an 'Aging Transvestitey Looking Shrill Female'.
Also, it's not adultery if it's only oral sex.
And some people have a wide stance.
It's not gay if you're the suckee and not the sucker.
Why the hell aren't the Democrats titling this bill the "Lorena Bobbitt Act"/
Forcible rape goes in, forcible rape goes out…
The Rat.
The daughters of Leucippus were such sluts…
At the rate they are going, Republicans should be able to put forward legislation that actually touches on something that more than 15% of the population cares about in time for Reagan's Bicentennial.
Good to see they're working on getting the rape-based economy moving. This amendment is going to create the new rape jobs that our nation desperately needs! Ladies and gentlemen, the rape recession is over.
Order your limited edition commemorative 9/11 rape kits now. Operators are standing by.
Order your limited edition commemorative 9/11 rape kits now.*
*Offer not valid in Alaska.
Ok, so you said no. But how loud did you say no?
Did you also flail your arms and squirm vigorously?
Did you say 'no' like you meant it? Because that's a real turn-on for a rapist… Along with struggling to get away.
That would probably be taken as proof that the victim liked it. So, not a rape.
But also, too, lie there not moving (perhaps out of terror?), okay, you didn't object. So, also not rape.
Those two ladies couldn't be asking for it any more strenuously: I mean, gosh'n'gollies, they're buck nekkid!
Yeah, the Sabines were huge sluts.
Republicans Retreat From Brave Fight Against Government Rape Regulations
Don't retreat, redefine (systematic violence against women as something inconsequential)!
The Rape Omnibus Act of 2011 will offer generous tax incentives to corporations seeking to outsource their rapeforce to China.
Only if the Omnibus is not powered by alternative fuel.
GREEN BALLOONS
Well, this is a relief for me. I was worried that I'd be hit up for child support after roofie-ing my latest "girlfriend."
Retreating all the way from shit to shit sandwich. Huzzah!
"rape by definition is non-consensual"
Who'd a thunk.
Sadly, that would come as a newsflash to a whole lot of family-values types.
today we are all sabine women.
"And they were sobbin', sobbin', sobbin' …."
Of course, now that that rapey thing consumed the conversation, everyone has forgotten that the main point was to permanently codify the Hyde Amendment as the permanent law here, and thus this has become the "moderate" "compromise" position. And thus, the steady march to ban abortion in everything except name goes on. Whee!
"Fine – you can have your exemption for rape again. Until the day we drive the last abortion provider out of business, anyway."
"Or kill him."
~
good luck getting an abortion in the Bible Belt. Or the upper midwest. Or, fuck, lots of places. Part of their plan is obviously to put up so many obstacles that women are forced into second term abortions, more dangerous both emotionally and physically. But then, that's the purpose, right? The same slut who was just asking for it deserves to die or be permanently maimed if she tries to get rid of the fetus.
Funny, I can't seem to work up any funny over this one.
Fuck, I mentioned this before but some of these assholes are trying to claim that the recent arrest of an incompetent butcher of a doctor who killed two women giving them late-term abortions here in Philadelphia is proof that there should be more restrictions on the right to choose, when this happened because Pennsylvania has some of the worst restrictions in the country forcing women to turn to butchers like this guy; it is entirely the fault of the anti-choice movement, this is what they want.
What I'm finding alarming is that a number of young women I meet these days don't seem to care about the right to choose. They seem to have fallen for the 'Babies! Babies! Babies!' mantra that mass media shoves at us 24/7. No one talks about the responsibility and commitment raising a child comprises of. Or the fact that it does change your life-and not always for the better. It's all this "You can buy cute outfits! A big SUV! Adorable toys!" message aimed at maximum consumerism with the intent of creating new little consumers. Perhaps it's not this nefarious, but…
So I fear that nothing we older-gals-who-remember-the-dark-days say or do will have much effect on the going tide. It appears to be a young woman's war that they don't feel compelled to engage in. And sadly, none of these young ladies will realize what they've lost until it's gone.
Republicans rape my senses every day.
I dunno, "consensual rape" has a nice ring to it.
I'm considering making it my next band name.
I hear Republicans still want to make exclusions if the woman was taken to dinner & movie beforehand.
Yeah. You'll need to keep your receipts, though.
Republicans have to keep checking what the definition of rape is because by definition, any sex with a Republican is non-consensual.
I hadn't followed this very closely but…these idiot were rewriting the Hyde Amendment to make it more restrictive.
The Hyde Amendment isn't just anti-choice; it is one of the most anti-woman (and therefore anti-human) pieces of legislation ever squeezed out of the asshole of the U.S. Congress.
It seemed at first to be an attack on those who are poor and female–typical Republican stuff–but now can be seen for what it is, a platform from which to launch further attacks against the rights of women.
These people are truly evil.
The Republicans have been defining decency down for way too long now.
Its a good thing that these Republicans have aide. Aides really help Republicans understand the consequences of rape.
I wish I had aides.
I wish they had AIDS.
"These are the same assholes who once said to just lie back and enjoy it.."
We seem to be.
Yo! Not in the constitution, tards. Creating a right not to be raped is regulating inactivity. So unless you want mandated health care, lie back and enjoy your republican sponsored congress.
I'm still waiting for Republicans to pull that Magic Job Vault out of their asses, because as long as they keep wasting resources on all these Dog and Pony Shows, that's the only way jobs are going to appear.
Yeah, they have certainly haven't brought forth any AMAZIN' JOB CREATIONZ!!!! ideas. Then again, they never have had any ideas to begin with, so it's no surprise.
Perhaps if they put some effort into developing new energy or infrastructure or mass transit job creation programs so we can kill a number of birds with one stone, maybe something positive would start happening, but AH HA HA HA HA I KILL ME.
Perhaps all GOP electeds should be required to do some volunteer work at the poorest hospitals in the nation and observe the Rape Kit examination for themselves (when consent to witness is given, of course). Or be outside the examination room and explain to the victim's relatives why they should have to pay for the procedure going on in the other room.
And if they survive, they get to run for re-election.
Why do the Republicans wanna destroy America's competitive edge when it comes to non-consensual intercourse? College kids are only raping at a 10th grade level, ya know.
The safe word is, "Rape me!"
How, oh how, do Repubicans reconcile their intense desire to prevent this sad, but sometimes necessary legal medical procedure with their rhetoric about evils of government interference in health care? (Answer: They don't, it's hypocrisy.)
'Reconcile?' That kind of weakness is for Socialists or Libral pansies or something. We Republicans let our deeply held (or FOX-installed, whatever) values openly conflict! See, eventually, one of them wins via Second Amendment rememdies, just like our Founding Fathers intended.
The difference should be in punishment. "Forcible" rapists should be forcibly castrated. Other rapists should be non-forcibly castrated.
It was only a matter of time before Republicans replaced "Death Panels" with "Rape Panels."
Many thumbs up for you, owls.
Sadly enough, there are still morans out there that believe that Obamacare includes federal funding for aborting Xtian babbies.
They want it to be true so badly I'm surprised THEY didn't write it into the bill
You people are all so negative. The Republican Party is busy trying to save Rape jobs in America. Too many of our best Rape Jobs are being sent overseas where cheap, poorly paid rape gangs that slave in horrible conditions as they rape for only a few dollars a day.
But, thanks to the Republican Party, America can once again look forward to the day that it can hold its head up high as the leader in rape.
Like Alaska
Or love Alaska?
~
So you're saying that it's a states rights issue, like slavery and child labor?
I dunno, Donald Rumsfeld apparently swears those guys overseas are all Rape volunteers, and he would have resigned as soon as he found out about it, gosh darn it, if it weren't for the fact that he had nothing to do with it and did nothing wrong. Or, I dunno, maybe it was his drug addict son's fault.
RAPE as defined by the GOP: When the penis forcibly enters a WOMAN, and only a WOMAN, at no less than a 45 degree angle in Denver between the hours of 3-7 pm on the 8th floor of Dominion Plaza while she's singing that Celine Dion Titanic song and only on the third Wednesday of the month.
So I can still get in trouble if I roofie a girl and have sex with her while she's unconscious? Huh. To quote Adam Sandler: "Once again things that could have been brought to my attention YESTERDAY!"
They will get my chloroform and duct tape when they pry them from my cold, dead hands.
This is as helpful as suggesting that assault victims yell "Fire" instead of "Rape" to encourage good Samaritan assistance.
Except by yelling "Fire," you have to pray that 1. You don't live in Obion County Tennessee and that 2. you are not in arrears in paying your (optional) fire fee.
Perhaps the Republicans should be roofie-ing the CEOs who are sitting on their fat profits instead of hiring, so that they give up a sweet piece of employment.
Work. I'd Hit It!™
Sad day in Wasilla.
I'm looking forward to the Big Ben Rothlisberger Consensual Rape Act. Prolly next week, after the Steelers win the Super Bowl.
Here's what I don't understand about this act: the Republicans want to ban private insurance companies from covering abortions. Yet I thought they always supported the free market and hated government interference in the market.
Why do you hate the free market, GOP?
It's only rape if the woman says no in English.
Best.
And has her long-form birf certificate with her.
So three of them left?
Never fear, the even more right wing Republican Party will give changing the language another shot in a couple of years once this crop of pussies get primaried in '12 and replaced by more solidly Teatard Teatard types. The 20% have spoken – why won't they listen?!!!
I'm assuming that the rape of a white woman by a black man was automatically non-consensual, right? Reverse that and it wasn't? Except for that one time that ugly bitch married to Clarence Thomas let him get into her pants.
Ewwww.
I'm surprised they didn't go for a social conservative twofer and try to make sure the law defines rape as ONLY between a MAN and a WOMAN.
I noticed these Sabine women aren't wearing any clothes.
Just sayin'.
Keep it classy, GOP.
Remember when they voted against a bill from infamous socialist anti-rape fanatic Al Franken requiring people like Blackwater to disclose rapes of employees & maybe even (GASP!) compensate them? Ah, the good old days.
Tori Amos was totally asking for it.
Well, she was just lying around thinking about Barbados, so….
"Rape" is such a harsh word. Why don't the Republicans just change it to "unrequited love"?
There is apparently no such thing as rape anymore. I guess now it's "Freedom Fucking".
And last time I checked, misogyny is, by definition, hatred of women.
Totally does not negate the fact that they thought this was a good idea in the first place.
They masturbated mightily and brought forth the original wording?
Yawn, let me know when that do something that actually cuts the deficit like they said they would. I'll be napping, undisturbed, if you need me.
If I wrote an op-ed about this piece of legislation, I'd title it "Republicans Redefine Rape, Evil."
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