FAMOUS COMEDIANS  5:22 pm February 2, 2011

Dumb Dana Milbank/WaPo Online Team Already Break Palin Pledge

by Jack Stuef

He so funny!Dana Milbank has declared that he will not talk about Sarah Palin in February, in order to get media attention. It’s working! Until he posted this yesterday: “I survived Day One of my February Sarah Palin moratorium, defeating the evil plans of ABC News’s Rick Klein. Only 27 days to go…” Yeah, that’s him mentioning Sarah Palin. But wait! Update! “The sentence as written above was posted by an editor, not Dana. So Dana’s moratorium remains intact.” However, this post still says “By Dana Milbank” at top and bottom. So are all of Dana Milbank’s columns written by “an editor,” or just this one? And why can’t the Washington Post‘s awful Geocities-meets-Soviet-Russia website just change the author on this post?

JOURNALISM.

Anyway, Milbank spends his whole time on this “Web show” referring to Sarah Palin, though he never says the word “Sarah,” just “Palin.” He is very playful, you see! So Milbank is talking about Palin more than ever, on as many media outlets as he can, although now he is being cute about it.

We see. Somebody alert the Air Force. We’re going to need to drop a whole cargo plane full of Pulitzers on this man STAT. [WP via Outside the Beltway]

 
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{ 126 comments }

genxr February 2, 2011 at 5:27 pm

Instead, he should spend the whole month talking about Mercede Johnston. I don't think anyone would notice.

jus_wonderin February 2, 2011 at 5:28 pm

I didn't look at the clip. By "being cute" do you mean he didn't call HER by HER given name; just referring to HER as…twat???

genxr February 2, 2011 at 7:24 pm

If that's the rule, Wonkette has been Palin-free since '08!

ifthethunderdontgetya February 2, 2011 at 5:29 pm

Today we have all broken our not talk about Sarah Palin pledges.

Right, Jack?
~

Native_of_SL_UT February 2, 2011 at 5:54 pm

I refuse to post on this page for that reason.

LionelHutzEsq February 2, 2011 at 6:06 pm

The above post was not posted by Native_of_SL_UT, but by an editor, thereby keeping Native_of_SL_UT's promise intact.

Trinket February 2, 2011 at 6:15 pm

I don't recall Jack making any such pledge.

somn February 2, 2011 at 8:05 pm

can't we just agree to refer to her as "She-who-must-not-be-named"? Because then it also makes her easier to ignore when she's constantly being referred to as a fictitious wizardly antagonist.

Less page views though probably, so there's that.

hagajim February 2, 2011 at 5:30 pm

Is Dana trying to be a comedian now? Why would you toss the best blather aside for a month? And if you do, why not do it during Lent?

Barbara_i February 2, 2011 at 5:31 pm

What a "two pump Chump" this ass-clown turned out to be.

gef05 February 2, 2011 at 6:39 pm

Vulgar, yet accurate and to the point. Fist for you.

Barbara_i February 2, 2011 at 9:06 pm

I fist you back in vulgarity and friendship.

UW8316154 February 2, 2011 at 11:13 pm

I fist you both just to get in on some action tonight.

fuflans February 2, 2011 at 5:35 pm

clearly, any abstinence pledges involving a palin are doomed to failure.

Sophist [APPLESAUCE] February 2, 2011 at 11:19 pm

Congratulations [sir/madam/other], you Win a Future*.

*(Cash value 3/100 of one cent.)

Negropolis February 3, 2011 at 2:51 am

Zing.

court5346 February 3, 2011 at 2:04 pm

This abstinence failure…will it result in a bastard child named trig, or tripp, or bookcase, or hat…

Guppy06 February 2, 2011 at 5:36 pm

So which do we deride more: the fact that he chose the shortest month of the year to do this, or that he chose Black History Month?

Gratuitous World February 2, 2011 at 6:56 pm

there is a story here.
I think it's that palin saw russia's shadow, which means 6 more weeks of uncomfortable back rubs from milbank.

seppdecker February 2, 2011 at 10:14 pm

I think it was understood that he wouldn't use this month to talk about any problems effecting blacks in America.

Oldskool_ February 2, 2011 at 5:36 pm

I was gonna make my monthly post in the previous thread but it's locked. I missed out on another orgy of some kind, didn't I.

ifthethunderdontgetya February 2, 2011 at 6:00 pm

The best orgy ever, Oldskool_.

That's just the way the world works. Or goes to hell in a hand-basket, and such as.
~

Oldskool_ February 2, 2011 at 6:39 pm

I knew it.

jus_wonderin February 2, 2011 at 5:37 pm

I had a gem of a comment queued up too….argh.

bumfug February 2, 2011 at 5:40 pm

Sarah Palin, however, hasn't said jack-shit about Dana Milbank this month. Or ever.

nounverb911 February 2, 2011 at 7:01 pm

Lucky for her, she doesn't know who he is.

HistoriCat February 2, 2011 at 8:09 pm

Up until this moment, I have not envied Sarah Palin.

doxastic February 2, 2011 at 5:41 pm

Yeah, if the Caliphate includes all the awesome places Glenn Beck suggests it will, I say hooray!

LionelHutzEsq February 2, 2011 at 6:07 pm

Plus there will be nice camp fires.

genxr February 2, 2011 at 7:25 pm

and spicy kung pao bunny!

Extemporanus February 2, 2011 at 5:42 pm

The first rule of Cunt Club is, "You do not talk about Cunt Club."

The second rule of Cunt Club is, "You do not talk about Cunt Club!"

umm_huh February 2, 2011 at 6:51 pm

As a possessor of a cunt, I respectfully ask you to not associate cunts with She Who Must Not Be Named. While mine is warm and billowy and inviting, I imagine hers is more like a Sarlacc. So, if you please:
The first rule of Sarlacc Club is, "You do not talk about Sarlacc Club."

HistoriCat February 2, 2011 at 8:10 pm

"warm and billowy and inviting …" please, go on.

Sharkey February 2, 2011 at 8:18 pm

Cthulhu hates love and all unnamed pleasures associated with sensitive body parts. Please be aware. I am … an expert.

elviouslyqueer February 2, 2011 at 5:46 pm

Great. I finally clear my office of the Romney stench, and now I've got to air it out from the fragrant aroma of douche.

ttommyunger February 2, 2011 at 5:51 pm

I could invest all my energies toward it and still not give a flying fuck what Dana does or does not say. I cannot for the life of me imagine why any sane person would. Palin? She's looking a little puffy and fucked-out lately. God help her when she loses her looks, she'll have NOTHING going for her.

WriteyWriterton February 2, 2011 at 5:59 pm

Just imagined Her Grifterness gaining 100 pounds and crumb-sprinkled. Not a pretty sight, but still better than ever listening to her.

ttommyunger February 2, 2011 at 6:26 pm

She's not pretty now, but has a killer ass and legs and reminds me of those teachers I had back in the day who I seriously wanted to bang and never did.

Barbara_i February 2, 2011 at 9:11 pm

Are you on the class reunion committee?

ttommyunger February 2, 2011 at 9:42 pm

No. But I suspect it would make no difference. I always attended married, not that it would have mattered. I had crushes on Elementary, HS and College Educators. Always too slow, dumb and dim to make anything happen.

harry_palmer February 2, 2011 at 5:59 pm

She could do voice work as a car alarm.

ttommyunger February 2, 2011 at 6:26 pm

You know Darryll Issa would hook her up; for a price.

ChessieNefercat February 2, 2011 at 6:26 pm

She'd flatten tires for blocks around.

genxr February 2, 2011 at 7:28 pm

Two crooks in ski masks try to jimmy open the car door, then the alarm sounds:

BLOOD LIBEL! BLOOD LIBEL! BLOOD LIBEL! BLOOD LIBEL! BLOOD LIBEL! BLOOD LIBEL!

They run away into the night.

ChessieNefercat February 2, 2011 at 7:40 pm

Do you luvs your FREEEEEEDUMMMMMZZZZZ???!!!!!

(Imagine rising shriek.)

horsedreamer_1 February 3, 2011 at 8:35 am

The faaaaaaaaaaat has not prevented Roger Ailes from a trophy-wife, nor Newt, nor El Rushbo.

Why should it be different…? Oh, right —

ttommyunger February 3, 2011 at 11:22 am

The aforementioned jaggoffs should receive some compensation for having to be who they are 24/7. Plus, a man can only have sex so long every day; the rest of the day he has to put up with her shit. I learned a long time ago: no matter how hot a woman is, there is a man somewhere sick and tired of her shit.

GOPCrusher February 3, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Amen, brother.

ttommyunger February 3, 2011 at 12:38 pm

The voice of experience, wafting across the series of tubes…..

harry_palmer February 2, 2011 at 5:53 pm

If he'd only pledged he won't say anything funny about Palin this month, he'd be a lock.

WriteyWriterton February 2, 2011 at 6:01 pm

If he'd pledged to say only funny things about her, than we'd have silence from both of them.

WriteyWriterton February 2, 2011 at 6:03 pm

B tw, harry_palmer as in the Connelly boks or as in the, ahem, blanket-teepee sense?

Native_of_SL_UT February 2, 2011 at 5:55 pm

Jack luvs Katie. He will not let us say bad things about her.

SayItWithWookies February 2, 2011 at 6:00 pm

It would be awesome if Sarah did something intelligent, appropriate and productive this month and made Milbank look like a fool. But I wouldn't bet the house on it.

WriteyWriterton February 2, 2011 at 6:32 pm

I wouldn't even bet the house/word salad on it.

gef05 February 2, 2011 at 6:49 pm

Let's look into the future…

February 3rd
A gunshop somewhere in Tucson
Palin: Guys! We're lurching too far to the right! Let's find the commonground and love one another. Group hug! Kumbayah!"

Cut to studio: Milbank is putting gun to head.

bflrtsplk February 2, 2011 at 6:03 pm

All Milbanks' posts are written the third grade class at Edward R. Murrow Elementary School of Journalism. Thought everybody knew that.

LionelHutzEsq February 2, 2011 at 6:10 pm

I would expect a third grade class to show greater insight into politics.

MinAgain February 2, 2011 at 6:05 pm

I pledge not to make any pledges in February. Oh, wait…

Amaravilha February 2, 2011 at 6:05 pm
LionelHutzEsq February 2, 2011 at 6:09 pm

This is nothing compared to how fast Dana broke his pledge not to fantasize about Palin while masturbating.

genxr February 2, 2011 at 7:29 pm

NOT the mental image I wanted.

glamourdammerung February 2, 2011 at 7:38 pm

I am assuming you meant Todd Palin instead of Baby Trig.

metamarcisf February 2, 2011 at 6:11 pm

Keeping Palin off the pages of the Washington Post is like keeping rats out of the cheese factory.

nounverb911 February 2, 2011 at 7:02 pm

Or the NYC subways.

di_da_is_alpha February 3, 2011 at 11:37 am

Or like keeping metamarcisf out of Breitbart. Or me out of this delightful little site. : )

i_like_tigers February 2, 2011 at 6:15 pm

Who the heck in Dana Milbank and why is there a clown crying on ABC news? —-Dictated but not read. Actually, probably written by my editor.

MistaEko February 2, 2011 at 6:16 pm

Chris, everything I say is a lie… except for that….and that….and that…and that…

BaldarTFlagass February 2, 2011 at 6:22 pm

Well, douchetard or not, at least Milbank's heart is in the right place. He just can't quit her.

WriteyWriterton February 2, 2011 at 6:31 pm

And which of us can? Today we are all Dana – nah.

WriteyWriterton February 2, 2011 at 6:30 pm

A few years ago, I read WaPo on line daily, and Milbank with particular interest. Little did I realize that it was my version of gaper's delay.

BklynIlluminati February 2, 2011 at 6:30 pm

My 8 and 5 year old come up with better BS than the "Wuzn't me" defense

ChessieNefercat February 3, 2011 at 9:46 am

Wuz him/her!

Cat_Damon February 2, 2011 at 6:32 pm

Come the fuck on. I'm reminded of the way ESPN never fails to carry a story on LeBron James, even if he hasn't done anything newsworthy. Anything to keep one of their biggest cash cows on peoples' minds, I guess. It's the same thing here. I don't read Milbank on a regular basis, and I don't plan on doing so now. Whether it was an "editor" or Dana himself, the fact that the WaPo took up any amount of space talking about a stupid fucking keep-away game instead of any of countless more important stories out there is, sadly, predictably disappointing. When you come back from your "moratorium," Dana, what will you write about? That Sarah Palin spoke at two gun-rights events the week after the shooting in Tuscon? Or that she was really the victim of [insert thing that had nothing to do with SP]?

Good riddance, sir. And fuck you, WaPo.

WriteyWriterton February 2, 2011 at 6:47 pm

Upppies, C_D. Transgender surgery notwithstanding, a b*tch will always remain a b*tch. Likewise for media-poodles, even after neutering by wingnut/Hiatt management.

Radiotherapy February 3, 2011 at 1:34 am

The WaPo is more dated than a rotary phone. Even fucking Howie Kurtz jumped the ship. This story is just stupid/funny.

Come here a minute February 2, 2011 at 6:38 pm

Must … not … comment … on … Snowbilly … OH SARAH, I just can't quit you! The stupid is so mighty it is like the strongest magnet in the world.

WriteyWriterton February 2, 2011 at 6:49 pm

She needs new insulting handles. I'm soliciting suggestions. I haven't gotten any traction with either "Her Grifterness" or the "Fortress of Griftertude."

yyyaz February 2, 2011 at 8:55 pm

How about Snow Whitetrash (TM)?

PuckStopsHere February 2, 2011 at 9:40 pm

I'm gonna go with stupid, fucking cunt. But I'll want a taste when the lamestream media runs with it.

harry_palmer February 2, 2011 at 11:56 pm

I like Snow White Trash, but it may be too classy for her.

bflrtsplk February 3, 2011 at 7:51 am

Helicopter Moose Hunter Fraudulent Swig of Cat Piss says it all, but it's too wordy. Carimooseo Barbie? Nah. Too derivitive.

TanzbodenKoenig February 2, 2011 at 6:50 pm

I like how they strikethroughed the opening sentence but then left the title of the article as "Day one of the Sarah Palin moratorium"

nounverb911 February 2, 2011 at 6:58 pm

I thought Wonkette was planning a lifetime Dana Milbank moratorium.

harry_palmer February 2, 2011 at 6:58 pm

That pic cries out for weepy clown make-up.

V572625694 February 2, 2011 at 7:01 pm

OT, but check out what you get when you try to link to an MSNBC live stream:

http://www.channelsurfing.net/watch-msnbc.html

And don't be afraid of the link — you couldn't be in safer hands.

lulzmonger February 3, 2011 at 4:54 am

Wow, that's some address: my browser told me it was "seized by ICE" when I tried to paste the link … BEFORE I even activated it.

LesBontemps February 2, 2011 at 7:08 pm

It's all about the pageviewz, babe. So transparent, so douchey, so sad.

jim89048 February 2, 2011 at 7:08 pm

I wonder if he's still banned from MSNBC, even though Olbermann is no longer there?

Monsieur_Grumpe February 2, 2011 at 7:27 pm

Hey, shouldn't we be applauding Dana's efforts? Lay off the snark on this guy.
I'm looking at his picture and I see a man who is…
Seriously he's trying to…
Ummmm…
Awwww what the hell.

LAST TIME I SAW A MOUTH LIKE THAT IT HAD A HOOK IN IT!!!!!!111!!!!!
I feel better now.

weejee February 2, 2011 at 7:31 pm

I love it when you go for the bass-tardly snark.

harry_palmer February 3, 2011 at 12:00 am

Yes, but he was koi at first. Or maybe he was floundering.

ChessieNefercat February 3, 2011 at 9:49 am

Oh, stop carping at him.

Negropolis February 4, 2011 at 1:20 am

I think he has a porpoise, though.

Worthly Wokette Skum February 2, 2011 at 7:34 pm

"Here's the dildo"

mavenmaven February 2, 2011 at 7:44 pm

Did he, didn't he, this is too confusing. Can we go back to talking about Mercede getting nekkid?

user-of-owls February 2, 2011 at 8:01 pm

"So Dana's moratorium remains intact. Also intact is Dana's hymen."

smellyal8tr February 2, 2011 at 9:21 pm

And I was a believer in Dana. Now what? I still call her "She Who Must Not Be Named"

di_da_is_alpha February 2, 2011 at 9:24 pm

Palin Derangement Syndrome has only two known cures, growing up and becoming a "conservative", OR, washing down a few thousand milligrams of oxycodone with a bottle of Jack Daniels.

glamourdammerung February 2, 2011 at 10:47 pm

So says the clown that spends a great deal of time trolling here because of a clear obsession.

di_da_is_alpha February 3, 2011 at 11:34 am

Not clear, transparent, just like the Obama administration. Oh wait, the Obama administration isn't transparent at all, Obama just said it was going to be. Never mind.

glamourdammerung February 3, 2011 at 11:52 am

You really must be a random text generator.

Come up with what you would think would be a witty retort that refutes my comment about your obsessive behavior and post it in a few days after the thread is dead. Or just cry more in a few days. Either way, my point was valid and we both know it.

di_da_is_alpha February 3, 2011 at 1:33 pm

You believe whatever you want. Some idiots still believe that marxism will work and that 9/11 was an inside job. As far as witty remarks, you're not a very good straight man. More power to ya.

GOPCrusher February 3, 2011 at 12:38 pm

I find it amazing that these so-called "conservatives" accuse the Left of being "afraid" of Bible Spice, while the leaders of their own party are trying to put as much distance from her as they possibly can at the same time.
Perhaps she should be encouraged to go for a third-party run for President? That way the Libertarian Candidate won't be at the bottom of the election results anymore.

di_da_is_alpha February 3, 2011 at 1:47 pm

It's not that amazing if you really think about it. Who the hell labeled us "conservatives" anyway? The status quo gots to go. And speaking of "gots to go" I've put enough money in Layne's pocket for now. Regardless of what "glamourdammerung" thinks, I only pop in here once in awhile. See you in a few days, my wonkette brother (or sister).

glamourdammerung February 3, 2011 at 4:44 pm

I thought when people were claiming folks were scared of Palin, they were referring to her mentally disturbed followers trying to cause them physical harm.

iburl February 2, 2011 at 9:30 pm

This can only be done with software. The human will is too malleable when faced with a person so habitually stupid. It's as if you asked me to sit quietly without comment while watching 'Real Housewives of Beverly Hills'.
If we can blow up a reactor in iran with code, surely somebody can make a worm that changes all instances of the string 'Palin' on every computer to something random like 'Icehole'. 'Sarah Palin' could be altered to 'American Idol Season 3 Walk-out' .

trampndirtdown February 2, 2011 at 9:38 pm

“Tea Party rebutter Michele Bachmann is under fire for saying the Founding Fathers eliminated slavery. Sarah Palin is very upset. Another female Republican trying to steal the dumbass vote.” –Jay Leno
When you've lost Leno you've lost the old uniformed vote. Bye Bye whore.

BZ1 February 2, 2011 at 10:43 pm

isn't that pronounced "uninformed vote"?

trampndirtdown February 2, 2011 at 10:56 pm

Lolz too many glasses of wine.

glamourdammerung February 2, 2011 at 11:01 pm

I am more surprised that Leno apparently finally stopped with the "Bill Clinton got blown" jokes.

seppdecker February 2, 2011 at 10:17 pm

Mercede Johnston now has more journalistic credibility than Dana Milbank.

Gay Mexican Intern February 2, 2011 at 10:35 pm

Thanks for that picture. My nightmares for tonight are already forming.

BZ1 February 2, 2011 at 10:42 pm

Dana looks pretty sad, sort of withdrawal symptom, I suppose.

petejayhawk February 2, 2011 at 11:07 pm

Way to get pissy about people talking about Sarah Palin, Wonkette!

After all, only YOU get to constantly talk about Sarah Palin, Wonkette!

Radiotherapy February 3, 2011 at 1:36 am

Actually, I'm waiting for the Mercedes' Playboy "article."

ChessieNefercat February 3, 2011 at 9:53 am

Go to your room and take your tantrum with you.

rocktonsam February 3, 2011 at 8:00 am

Fapuary

LiveToServeYa February 3, 2011 at 8:51 am

Like the coming of the Fapture.

Negropolis February 4, 2011 at 1:18 am

Or the Fapocalypse.

horsedreamer_1 February 3, 2011 at 8:28 am

Muslin Brotherhood? Sounds like some sort of Gay Mafia.

They're battling with the Latin Kings & Hell's Angels for control of the Meth trade in the Southwest, right?

gurukalehuru February 3, 2011 at 8:49 am

Not only will I not talk about Sarah Palin this month, I will not talk about not talking about Sarah Palin this month.

LiveToServeYa February 3, 2011 at 8:52 am

Everything I know about Dana Milbank, I learned on Wonkette. Who is he? What does he write? Cancel that, I don't care.

comrad_darkness February 3, 2011 at 10:29 pm

Isn't Dana a girl?

sweetcommunist February 3, 2011 at 12:31 pm

My prejudice against men named Dana remains intact.

comrad_darkness February 3, 2011 at 10:28 pm

Hey, Wonkett, you are not allowed to go all meta-meta media to get around your own ban.

No.

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