Hey Idiots, Can You Tell Bill O'Reilly Who Put the Moon Up There?
Okay, wise guys, Bill O'Reilly heard the Internet snickering when he debuted his "Tide Goes In, Tide Goes Out" catchphrase last month, showing the world he doesn't know how ocean tides happen. Alright, so you think the Moon is doing this. O'Reilly has a response: "How da Moon get dere?" AIRTIGHT ARGUMENT, SIR.
For anyone who believes that in a giant sprawling universe, there's a pretty good chance intelligent life will randomly come together somewhere , please read the following lines of text:
How da Moon get dere?
How da Moon get dere?
How da Moon get dere?
How da Moon get dere?
How da Moon get dere?
How da Sun get dere?
How da Moon get dere?
How da Moon get dere?
How dit get dere?
See, now you believe in God. It was so desperate of you to think you were made of the things you see around you rather than fucking magic. Because fucking magic is the obvious cause of all things.
(As we all know, the Moon was put there by the NASA, who made a fake moon so we could land on it. It was all staged!) [ YouTube ]
Here's how it works, Bill:
See, you take a planet, and a comet that's pretty much caught in the planet's gravitational field, ok? I mean, it can't get away.
Then the planet starts making unwanted sexual advances, late night dirty phone calls, and somehow dildoes are involved. Pretty soon, BAM, this massive settlement / scandal forever orbits the gross old planet, forever.
Dat's who put the moon dere, your old lecherous self. Clear?
Nah, it`s more like how when you feed a stray cat, it will hang out in the yard forever.