Glenn Beck seems to think this is the most important idea he has ever had, so let’s pay attention! Sure, this video appears long, but if you look at it on a conclusions-jumped-to-per-minute basis, it all goes by pretty quickly. LOOK YOU GUYS, GLENN BECK’S CONSTRUCTION-PAPER CAMPFIRE HAS JUMPED OVER TUNISIA AND INTO EGYPT. The s’mores have come home to roost! And now the world is going to end. Just like it does on every Glenn Beck broadcast.
“I believe a snowball is being formed.” A snowball made out of construction-paper fire. Construction-paper fire that can jump over countries, somehow turn a strong, secular continent called Europe into “a” caliphate, and transform Muslim countries that should be a caliphate into New China. Domino theories are always the best theories. All countries behave in the same way! That is why diplomacy is so easy.
“You can at least prepare to not get caught in the snowball.” Good! We will arm ourselves with fire. WAIT, THE FIRE IS THE SNOWBALL.
“I have chalkboards full of questions.”
The wonder of creative writing.
It is really amazing how people who profess to love freedom for freedom’s sake suddenly become dubious when certain brown people want it too.
Anyway, Marxism! Marxism too! Don’t assume Marxism isn’t part of this! We have a whole week of insane ideas to tell you about! [Daily Dish]
{ 315 comments }
Certainly the most entertaining weatherman on TV
Looks like it's going to be hot today.
And cold also!
And something something something about gold being a good hedge against snowballs and fire.
Well, Glenn knows a lot about snow. Although he usually just puts it into rails on his coffee table.
I shouldn't have watched that so soon after re-watching The Last of the Mohicans. Now, for the rest of the day, I'm going to have this image of Glenn Beck, his eyes glittering with tears, pressing his cheek against Daniel Day Lewis' bare chest and whispering, "The whole world's on fire, isn't it?"
You pee will turn green again with more comments like that.
Weren't the "Weathermen" terrorists too? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weather_Underground_...
I don't need a weatherman to tell me this blows.
Partly cloudy Tuesday with a 60 percent chance of Europe catching on fire and a global outbreak of insanity. And Happy 100th Birthday to Heywood Jablome in Someshithole, Ohio!
what I can't understand is how your p-ness is still negative?
If the answer is that easy and important, it should be succinct enough to employ in one episode, brought with limited commercial interruption. No person should have to wait four minutes (or twenty-three more hours!) to hear the most important information in the world.
Proof positive of the dangers of inhaling chalk dust. Just make sure he gets the scissors with the blunted tips for cutting the construction paper.
Wait, El Baradei is one of the Bilderbergs? What?
If these people were white and Christian, he'd be calling them our founders.
There's not enough chalkboards in the world for this kind of crazy.
Or just white and not so in your face with the Muslim-y shit (see Bosnia, Kosovo, etc.)
I thought Baradei was what you threw back when you were fishing for opies. I'm so confused!
Good one, Cap'n Phil! (Too soon?)
Glad someone caught it, Tanner.
If I watch this, and it isn't 300% insanity, will I get that almost 1/4 hour of my life back from Wonkette?
….You're lucky Wonkette.
I hope that they made him use the round edged scissors while he was making his construction paper fires.
Can we get this guy laid by Todd's hooker? He needs something to make him chill out.
Please, hasn't she suffered enough?
Wait. 12 and a half minutes of Glenn Beck? I'd rather spend that kind of quality time scrubbing my taint with a Brillo pad.
Yeah – 12:34 of Glenn Beck is twelve minutes and 30 seconds longer than I'm willing to listen to that doofus.
True story – caught part of Glenn when he was still on CNN. After about a minute I thought, "who is this idiot?" Sadly, I know now and what is known cannot be unknown.
Definitely less painful.
I watched this while simultaneously listening to Type O Negative's "The Profits of Doom" and it almost made sense.
Goodbye cruel world..
Of this shape a star of five
Also applies to the one with six sides
Against the sun and against the moon
I warn you that these two combined
Will bring man's doom
Of ten horns and seven heads
Count your fingers and the continents
On your head or in you right hand
This new moral code that the media commands
Believe not in their clever words
Because faith inacted are the loudest heard
All these things I say are true
Understood sadly by a chosen few… you
Jack keeps trying this shit and I will never watch it. Not with a cat or while wearing a hat. Okay maybe with the sound off
With sound off the smiley faces and frowny faces (on fire, no less) might actually make some sense.
I'm not watching that. Looks like the cyber-equivalent of an out-of-body experience, which I gave up on after my last conversation with Mr Mescalito, lo these 30 years ago…
Carlos Casteneda says "hello."
That fucker still owes me 15 dollars for gas from our last button-picking expedition down Jim Hogg County way. Plus I had to spend the night in the Hebbronville jail (stupid cops never looked in the trunk, thank Christ, or I'd be sitting there yet).
None of my friends has a DVR! (?)
It's all organized by the aliens who built the pyramids!
(Note: if you believe the pyramids were built by aliens, you are an idiot; you also are an idiot if you think they were built by Jewish slaves because a fantasy novel says so, even though they were built about 1500 years before there was a Judea, there never were Jews in Egypt, and Egypt didn't practice slavery).
Stop foolin'. I happen to know that the pyramids were built by the ancient kings of Djelibeybi, who all came back to life when reality got warped by excessive Pyramid Power. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a visit from Hat, the Vulture-Headed God of Unexpected Guests, Bunu, the Goat-headed God of Goats, and possibly Anoia, the Goddess of Things That Get Stuck in Drawers.
Blashpemer! I rebuke in the name of Om!
Well, I had a lovely turtle soup last night, and since then I don't seem to hear Om anymore.
Offler is cooler anyway. Sleeping until noon, feasting on sausages, that's the life!
The pyramids were built by Ponzi Pilatus.
And then decorated by Q*bert.
With Woolly Mammoths.
Well, I'm for sausages inna bun. Anyone else?
However, you can't dispute that 9/11 was perpetrated by gay Jewish alien slaves from Egypt.
Perpetrated or penetrated?
Pyramids could not be built by brown people. Clearly they were built by Europeans who went back in time. It's in the Bible People!
I thought it was thought that they were in Egypt briefly, but rather clearly as seasonal migrant workers (i.e, Messikins of the Mediterranean), not slaves, and then that series of fantasy novels exaggerated for effect.
There were Jews who moved to Egypt after the conquest of Judea by the Babylonians in 587 BC, and many moved to Alexandria during the Ptolemaic period, but that was all much, much later than the Exodus story was supposed to take place, following most of the events in the Bible that evidence shows actually happened.
Events in the Bible that happened?? Noah's Ark? The tower of Babel? which ones happened?
The part where noah or whoever fucks his daughters, probably.
That's it though.
If Glenn had used Fux News' version of the Middle East map, I would've totally believed it.
I got half way through this and am confused. How did Spain catch fire?
Moors.
Blackamoors.
El 11 de marzo 2004. Nunca se olviden!
Usual reason: Basque separatists.
In their Burqa-loungers
Because the rain in Spain was staying on the plain.
Jalapeno peppers and lighter fluid.
I have to hand it to Beck, calling the Saudis dirtbag dictators takes some serious chutzpah given how far some Saudi princes have their hand up Murdoch's ass.
Chalk and construction paper is better than having him play with his own shit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYMMJvSEwHw
A la Harry the Hatchet in Lock Stock, or do you have something more "penetrating" in mind?
Needs more Earth & Wind.
I'd sooner watch the Super Bowl.
Even in Dallas at Jerry's Palace.
Invisible VD troll redux!
I gave everyone a thumbs up in compensation, because everyone knows psychogists are all about (over)compensation.
If I transfer some p points to you, will you counter-transfer some to me?
Silly Brownies, Freedom's a White People wurd.
"That is a Yang worship word. You will not speak it!"
EDIT: Hi, pee-troll! I tremble in fear of your skill at fighting the Liberal Agenda by downvoting blog comments. Keep up the good "work"!
Kohms do not approve.
E Plebnista, Sandinista, Pepperoni Pizza–let me show you on the chalkboard.
I was skeptical at first, but his New Caliphate Diorama, complete with scimitar-wielding playmobil jihadists pushing a tin-foil snowball convinced me. We must do something! To the nearest Michaels! We can defeat the Muslim Brotherhood with Arts and Crafts!
I will now crochet the same scene into a blanket or perhaps needlepoint it on a pillow.
I guess he blew his budget with bunnies and chainsaws and puppets and had to resort to the colored chalk again. Hey Glenn, move into 1997 and get a dry erase board.
Dry-erase boards are too modern, having been introduced after commies took over the schools. Anyone knows that school desks without inkwells are also a "progressive" innovation, and are to be shunned.
So did he saw the bunny in half? I might watch it if he actually did things like that.
Fortunately for us, we have the means to immunize ourselves from the perils of the impending islamopocalypse: GOLD. Say, I wonder if Mr. Beck knows where a fella could pick up some of this cure-all wonder metal?
Snowball–go for it, Glenn.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=sn...
I could have gone all day without reading that. It's perfect for Glenn.
I'm embarrassed that I didn't have to click the link.
Is this like the "back-&-forth, forever" gag in Me & You & Everyone We Know, except with mouths & come?
He uses chalk boards because that was the only in-class media his audience had when they were growing up.
Maybe he should add a filmstrip or two.
Can you imagine what would happen if Beck's children were to innocently ask him where babies come from? Out would come a blackboard covered in cryptic notes about how Ben Franklin makes good children for deserving Christian parents at the North Pole, while Demoncrap parents get babies from Grandpa Karl's Krybaby Kollective.
OOOOH, I bet he uses the puppets for those conception talks.
I'll save you all the 12-plus minutes:
What seems like common sense is dubious; facts are for suckers; the shortest distance between two points is The Path of Crazy; the Left wants to eat your puppies' souls; Obama is an alien in human skin, which you could clearly see if you would just slip on these sunglasses; the truth is realized only by a manic-depressive former Morning Zoo radio host; BUY GOLD NOW PLEASE.
Oh, and there was a river of tears. And semen. A river of tears and semen.
Great synopsis. I can almost see you in your foil hat.
Thank you.
Sounds like a frothy mix, also.
Do you work for Cliff Notes?
A river of semen would be a great place for baptisms, though women could not be baptized without their diaphragm or sponge in place.
Nice "They Live" reference! Beautifully obscure AND involves Rowdy Roddy Piper! You win the internet today.
"I came to do two things: Chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum."
They Live is what ought to be shown for Raygun's centenary.
Must buy food insurance.
Uncanny. You beat me to it again.
I am going to jump to my own, fantastically safe conclusion that Glenn Beck is an idiot and skip watching this.
… transform Muslim countries that should be a caliphate into New China.
What's wrong with New China? They have a nice buffet and great hot-and-sour soup.
It's cats! Soylent Kungpao is made from cats! Tell everyone! Tell the whole world! Let me use a chalkboard to illustrate!
OMG they ate Snowball!
The construction paper fire means it's a spicy dish.
We don't care if it's cats. It's still delicious.
Oh, that is making me the laughing out loud here in the call center.
And we all know us Jews love Chinese food, so I don't see what Israel has to be nervous about.
That's why israel has a smiley face. You can see it's surrounded by all the hot and spicy kung pow.
But if the Muslims are now the Chinese, where will the Jews eat on Christmas?
Old Country Buffet? Denny's? The Waffle House? Other places that look the other way when teh browns come in looking for a table?
No?
We know he's smart, because he's wearing glasses. That's what that means, right?
Only one smiley face in the whole middle east. Guess where?!?! At least, with the 2nd-grade level foreign policy explanations via smiley/frowny face, he's working to the intellectual level of his target audience.
Glen is obviously just describing a game of Civilization that he was playing late last night instead of writing actual material for his show.
Don't you hate it when things are going your way and then some rival religion leeches in on your territory? Once that happens you really have no choice but to conquer the civilization which is the birthplace of that religion.
That's when I use the special cheat codes and unleash a dinosaur attack.
Scissors cut paper, rock breaks scissors, paper covers snowballs. It's snowing in Egypt! Definitely Marxist. Beck don't even know how to pronounce "mor-an." Hint: It rhymes with Ko-ran.
That's exactly how he and Rush Lilmbaugh explain health care reform to each other. Repeatedly.
Beck didn't start the fire. It was always burnin' since the world's been turnin'.
Toasted with butter, survival seeds make a tasty superbowl snack.
Paranoia. It's a good thing.
Except John Nash was less of a schizophrenic closet-case.
Wow. It's amazing what you can pass off as truth when your viewers are too fucking stupid to have the foggiest idea what you're talking about.
The Thumbs Down Fairy is at it again. Apparently the Justin Breitber fan page ain't doing it for him anymore.
I am thumbing up all posts on this thread.
Well, in defense of Glenn, he doesn't probably have to be in the studio until noon or so Eastern Time…
If I had to guess, I'd say it's probably the same person who was actually trolling before, also, too. I'd further venture that he gave up on substantive trolling in favor of just down-fisting everyone, because he found himself vehemently fondling the short end of the antagonism stick, in actual conversation.
They are just coming to the defense of their pal after seeing them crying about being banned.
Quick. Somebody tweet this to Rick Sanchez!
I didn't watch it, but where does the fake moon landing fit in?
With the Reverse Vampires and the Bildeburg Group
Well, this morning I was driving around and switched on Beck for a moment. He was making it clear that Egypt had nothing to do with freedom or the people of Eqypt, but was really anarchist, socialist and communist just making chaos so that they can take over . It was just what the Nazis did with the communist, because they are exactly the same thing. However, in this scenario, The Muslim Brotherhood is even more evil. They are the ACORN of Egypt!
The scary thing is, I didn't make a bit of that up.
Ah yes, the famous "bumper cars" theory of geopolitics.
That paranoid delusional insanity reminds me of the movie A Beautiful Mind.
I could draw the same conclusion by taking a Fibonacci sequence of words from the latest issue of Time magazine, and performing Gaussian reductions on the NYTimes help wanted ads. Then I would remember Glenn is batshit crazy.
Followed by a nap, then – yummy – milk and stale Graham crackers.
So, in Glenn's world:
Having a dark skin leader is a bad thing and there must be an uprising to stop it.
However, an uprising of dark skin people must be resisted as any group of dark skin people is basically just ACORN by another name, and they want to overthrow the Egyptian government so that you will be required to have health care. Or something like that. All he is sure of is that groups of colored people working together are not good.
Beck loves democracy, but he love teh rapturez even more.
Muslins are taking over the world and you want me to watch 12 minutes of some stroke victim. Nah Gah Hah Pah.
If this is what he does with construction paper, I shudder to think what will happen when he gets hold of a Bedazzler. Mein Kampf on a denim jacket, maybe?
Hey now, that's cheating. Any mention of the Bedazzler gets an automatic thumbs up.
Wait until he finds out about the Vajazzler!
Your coochie? On fire.
Hi, folks. This is Glenn Beck for Cheeseline…
Yeah really, it's lucky for goldline the crazy idiots all invest in gold because they think since we went off the gold standard there's no reserve (SDR's…or their other name paper gold according to Paul tards really don't exist) and therefore the US dollar will collapse and they need gold, guns and cat food!
And they listen to the Doors.
And drink Coor's with Queen Noors.
Listen to you boors.
And eat s'moors.
Never give the poors s'moors.
I'm not saying I agree with you…It's just that I agree with you.
Wait, is Ireland Sunni or Shiite?
It's never Sunni in Ireland. The weather is Shiite.
John Nash found this to be a bit of a stretch.
I don't know what you guys are complaining about. I just watched 2.38 minutes of this and already I found out that Turkey got in bed with the Muslim Brotherhood! I had no idea there were Muslims in Turkey! Where are they coming from? I 'm going back….wait….
I thought Turkey was filled with stuffing… not Muslims. Now I'm gonna gag every Thanksgiving.
Glenn, keep fucking that turkey!
Well, he's against popular uprisings aimed at remaking nominally secular (though autocratic) gov'ts into religious ones. Unless it's America, in which case he will give a rambling lecture at the Lincoln Monument about how there needs to be more religion in gov't.
What's wrong with the commenting? There's no way to reply to anybody.
Just listening to Beck's voice can cause brain deadness. Continual exposure leads to dementia. I read that in the Lancet.
He is starting to remind me of Brother Theodore Gottleib. You know that sinister Uncle Reuben Klopek, from the movie The Burbs.
http://golemuniverse.blogspot.com/2009/09/forgott...
Brother Theodore was, however, funny.
RIOTS ON THE STREETS OF CAIRO, RIOTS ON THE STREETS OF TUNIS, RIOTS ON THE STREETS OF AMMAN. TRIPOLI… RIYADH…DAMASCUS…EUGENE OREGON… SANA'A… DUBAI… VICTORVILLE
I don't see Glenn B as a dj — though, he is wicky-wicky-wack — but it works.
You mean that you HADN'T seen Beck as a DJ, right?
At least he's not barking at a TeeVee again….Yet.
Ah, it looks Beck ascribes to the Donkey Kong theory of geo-politics. Don't worry Glenn as soon as the Italians break out some hammers to smash those barrels, and bunga-bunga over those fires America shall soon be safe.
If the founders had wanted democracy for brown people, they would have put something about it in the Constitution.
Well, as I recall, it's written on brown paper, anyway.
Giant brushfires engulfing the world…are you expecting me to believe he's now suddenly a believer in global warming?
What a Maroon.
I want to know how Kevin Bacon is involved. Has anybody seen him lately?
Well, you could always use something that gives him mope (Edit: or hope…whatevs) instead. Like mebbe Quickrete.
"The truth doesn't have an agenda, but the media has an agenda. I am media… oh, wait a minute"
He's a tenured Professor at Glenn Beck University…where he also received an honorary degree.
Ah, yes–that good ol' Sunni-Shiite cooperation that we know so well…
Sorry about the no snark…but I've mentioned this before about the authoritarianism on the American Right and this support for Mubarak just backs up the five decades of research social scientists have put into figuring out the authoritarian mind.
Okay, I'll make one joke…now that Glenn Beck is using construction paper, the lunatics will need to reconsider tin foil as he's their king. Either that, or Beck is giving them their summer line o' headwear to keep the CIA out, either way…..that motherfucker is almost as dumb as he is crazy.
If I submitted this fiction in my creative writing class, no one would buy it. Clearly America is not as discerning as my creative writing class and most of us were on drugs.
As a "twain", I assume you are teaching that class. I'll bet "My First Lie, And How I Got Out Of It" will give Beck a run for his money.
OT shameless self-promotion…
I have a website for short stories (linky is in my profile). I want it to be like a creative writing workshop. I hope you (and fellow students?) will visit, submit and comment. Because, as you'll see, it's a little short of actual short stories right now.
JustPixelz
Did beck permission to do this from his boss Prince Al-Waleed bin Talal?
He was directed to do it by the Prince. You think they want Mubarak coming to Saudi? They've got their own problems.
I don't think it is as much a boss-worker relationship as a part owner-novelty act one. What I am wondering is if the prince ever watches the shit they broadcast or if Rupert sold him on it as an entertainment channel for sub-idiots.
Wait till Sweeps.
I dunno. Maybe you ought to try a blackboard and some construction paper.
Haha…the construction paper is easy…the blackboard…meh, too lazy to steal one from my University.
and sickamoors.
I'd love to smash a pie, hard in to this asshole's mug. It's just that I love pie too much to waste it on a clearly insane, braying fuckwit.
Mud pie?
Liquified fermented pig waste through a 2-1/2 inch firehose at 180 pounds per square inch through a hard mounted nozzle on an airport fire tender, aimed tenderly at his smiling visage and then applied to his entire body until he drops and stops moving permanently. But then I haven't given it that much thought.
Who is this man? He seems to be insane.
You're very perceptive. Except about the "man" part.
Condensing the Crazy so you don't have to!
1 – 5 min: These Muslims! Some are mean! They don't like each other! They'll never get along!
5 – 10:30 Domino Theory, except replace "Communists" with "dissident rioters each with strikingly different goals"
10:30 – 12:30: Actually they will get along and make a Muslim Caliphate. And China is apparently hoping to play Fortinbras in all this.
Thank you for saving my time.
No fucking way he mentioned Fortinbras.
Why would China make a fort out of bras? Or build a fort in their bras? I am unedumacated.
Blackboard writing in the dead of night,
take these broken lies and learn to cry,
All your life.
You were only waiting for this (these) moment(s) to arise.
Blackboard, write. Blackboard, write.
all of the lies of a dark black mind.
If only Sir Paul had sung this at the Kennedy Center Honors!
You better stock up on tissues. Glenn cried like a little bitch the last time someone got near his heinie. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bX1rLv_hNeI
Got a feeling Mr Beck knows a thing or two about opening up for Aunt Peggy.
He's getting fat. His neck is as thick as his head.
What is it about these old queens that they pork up so quickly?
They get a little money, some free food thrown in … they let themselves go.
It's just like "A Beautiful Mind" except ugly…and mindless.
To say nothing of Powerpoint…
Hey Wingnut Troll: Downfist deez nutz, fuckwit!
Except for the Saul Alinsky puppet, who wears a pinko dress.
I'm mostly just stunned a television station would allow a person, any person, to scribble gibberish on a myriad of chalkboards and broadcast it for national consumption.
Get some fucking dry erase boards, at least.
Oh, they won't let Glenn have markers…he'd just uncap 'em, put 'em in a paper bag, and inhale deeply.
I think the markers would wind up crazier for his breathing into a bag full of them.
Just wait for the Chalkboard Nails over Tripoli.
I made it to 4:58 and now I have uncontrollable desire to buy a Cadillac and drive around with my left turn signal always on. Help me!
Har! My granddaddy does that!
The shot of the chalkboards reminds me of Raiders of the Lost Ark ending with the pull back of an endless supply of boxes. Glenn's brain is the world's largest warehouse of crazy bombs.
With a pro-colonial world view?
It's a XGenStudios Defend Your Castle and Risk-inspired mash-up!
I don't think Glenn's bread clip is going to be able to pick up all the Egyptian MuzBroHood and drop them into his Momo Pit of Conversion…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4EBKOybfZqI
And this is on fire. And this is on fire. And you get a missile and you get a missile.. You all get a missile!
This fucker put India in the middle east. And how is India on fire? Admittedly, we do have one major riot every 10 years or so, but there is no danger of Muslim brotherhood or hamas or hizbullah taking over a country of 1 billion Hindus.
Well, bear in mind he is the kind of person that thinks Muslims would be able to introduce Sharia law in the US. You know, with their considerable less than 1% population.
The whole idea that Muslims are going to demographically take over Europe is now pretty much an article of faith to the bigots now, despite the facts that they are also in the single digits percentage of the population, and just like the white Europeans more and more of the younger generations are going atheist or agnostic.
And mark my words — when White Europeans go nativist on their asses, it will not be pretty.
Hey, not so fast. You can't attack Asia AND mover your troops out of Madagascar in the same turn.
Haha, it is like Glenn's version of "Risk," only with zero strategy and infinitely more lunacy.
The Chalkboard is the writing surface of choice in Mormon classrooms. I can still smell the chalk dust encrusted office carpet at my old ward. Does Beck teach lessons at his church? Is this where he got the chalkboards from?
So this means the Prophet Moroni will come back and lead the many wives of the Lost Tribe of the Israelites into Salt Lake City to buy gold?
From the same thought process that brought you Korea and Vietnam!
Glenn Beck's Katamari Damacy Domino Theory of the Restoration of the Caliphate(s)!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwhFH75OCDs
The middle east is a quagmire. He's trying to make sense of it for his viewers. (I do not watch his show)
He may have it right, or not. Maybe he got a few parts of it right. No one can tell what will happen there. All we can do is guess and see what happends. All the "expert analysis" of the situation contradict each other. None of our "experts" agree. Beck is showing his view of it. We will not know if he got it right til the situation runs the course. I don't attack personally for sharing his view.
You're a dumbass.
That was both informative and constructive. Let me know when you have moved on from name calling and we can have a discussion.
Concern troll is concerned; noted.
There are plenty of things to be concerned about in this world. Do you not have concerns?
If you do does that make you ConcernBot?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troll_%28Internet%29...
"A concern troll is a false flag pseudonym created by a user whose actual point of view is opposed to the one that the user claims to hold. The concern troll posts in web forums devoted to its declared point of view and attempts to sway the group's actions or opinions while claiming to share their goals, but with professed "concerns". The goal is to sow fear, uncertainty and doubt within the group."
On a slightly related topic, I was just reading through your exchange with di-da-the-dog, or whatever he's calling himself, over on the thread about the ACA ruling yesterday. I've tangled with that guy, he's beyond ignorant. In fact, he makes this troll look intelligent and well-informed. We really need to all learn to ignore these guys, we'll live longer.
You may have a point there–rather than listening to "experts" who have "studied" the region and who rely on "facts," shouldn't we also give equal attention to someone who is"pulling stuff out of his ass" and "making it up" as he "goes along," just for the sake of balance?
Listen to both sides of an argument?
I think Beck is out of his league on this one. He is trying to make sense of it with out proper background. So he jumped the gun. I'm imagine he'll refine his theories as he learns more.
There are other politcal pundits doing the same. Flaming Beck doesn't change that.
As the estimable Tim Minchin put it, "If you open your mind too much, your brain will fall out." That is to say, not all ideas are equal.
To say that Beck is "out of his league" on this topic is a lovely understatement–funny, though, that doesn't seem to have ever stopped him from charging into the fray, braying that he has THE TRUTH, has it? Indeed, when someone is as completely and consistently full of shit as Beck, it seems to me that the only responsible thing to do is to say so, as loudly as possible (Now, since I don't have an audience of millions, I also think that simply mocking him is also a perfectly reasonable option).
As for listening to all sides, if you had appendicitis, would you give equal credence to an MD as you would to a faith healer with a call-in show?
As long as it makes money for Goldline, what's to complain about?
Ed Shultz endorses companies and products for money as well. It is how radio and tv personalities make money.
You've obviously noticed the multitude of posts here praising Ed Shultz for his great work. Or did you bring him up simply because he represents the "other side" of this conservative/liberal coin that finances the pundits' trade and dumbs down every issue into a simple case of us-v-them? Either way, kudos to your insightful whatever-it-is.
He may have it right, or not.
Let me help you out here, noodle-brain: He has none of it right. None. Zero. There is no legitimacy or intellectual underpinning to Beck's analysis, it is all simply gibberish. The thing in Moscow had nothing to do with what's going on in Egypt. The Weather Underground (the Weather Underground for chrissakes) has nothing to do with what's going on in Egypt. His opinion is worthless. The opinions of people who have studied history and studied Egyptian politics and society might turn out to be wrong, but they are informed by the study of knowledge. Beck's is formed by taking meth and staying up all night reading conspiracy websites.
How 'bout you make the choice to go elsewhere and keep your moronic "everyone gets a trophy for trying" shtick out of here.
Informed by taking meth huh?
He may be on the conspiracy side but he's entitled to his opinion just as you are. I don't think he quite knows what he is talking about here, but he still could get lucky and amaze us all by getting it right.
Only the winner gets a trohpy, but everyone tries.
"He may be on the conspiracy side but he's entitled to his opinion just as you are."
Until you have the ability to give each Wonkette commenter here a cable news TV show, shut the fuck up. Please.
He is entitled to his own opinion, and we are entitled to mock it for the worthless, brain-dead, ignorant, paranoid gibberish that it is. It's kind of what we do around here. You just don't seem to ever get the joke. Glenn Beck is a cable-access host at best, but he hit the crackpot jackpot and got a wider platform to disseminate his noxious and ridiculous views. He should be scorned and treated with contempt for being such an uneducated ignoramus, not given this mealy-mouthed credit you seem determined to dole out.
Now piss off, fail troll.
Ah, but do you deny that he has the RIGHT to be a complete drooling moron? Who are you, with your "reality" and "facts," and regard for "expertise," to be saying that Glen Beck has no right to set up his vomit-stained card table of suspicious-smelling, cut-rate Beanie Baby knockoffs in the Marketplace of Ideas?
"You are entitled to your own opinion, but you are not entitled to your own facts" – Daniel Patrick Moynihan. Sadly, the right wing violates this all the time.
Funniest comment yet!
Indeed, I feel inspired to create a new username: "they_report_i_decide" and post "Glenn Beck MAY be right! We just don't know!" all day long unitl I'm swimming in negative pee. So much more interesting than the same old "Glenn Beck is a monkey humping bunny diddler" posts which, true as they may be, just don't make much of a splash.
Thanks:)
I like how you put expert analysis in scare quotes there. I guess what you are trying to say is that experts (i.e. people who know something about the region and its politics) are elitist and should be ignored; while letting Glenn spout his bullshit unchallenged. "Oh leave Glenn alone! It is just one man's view!"
I have yet to call someone elitist. I just find that the experts do not agree on what is going on. They can't all be right, but they're considered experts on the subject. That is why they are in quotes.
Ignore Beck if you want, harp on him if you want.
Hell, the only "freedoms" they care about are the freedom to not pay taxes, and the freedom for our corporate overlords to poison our environment and screw over their workers and consumers as much as they want. Actual personal freedom they oppose, particularly for women, gay people, non-Christians and non-whites.
Hm, what they support sounds somewhat like fascism; the actual historical fascism practiced by Mussolini and Franco, not the pulled-out-of-their-asses lying version that was magically liberal.
Why do I keep thinking of Steve Martin in L.A. Story?
This is NOT The Caucasian Chalk Circle I know and love.
Also: Greece?
This is honestly like watching one of those Bing commercials where everyone just starts randomly spewing free association words. Turkey! Weather Underground!
Thanksgiving! Midwestern Blizzard!
This is the first time I have listened to a whole segment of this nut. He just flat-out makes this shit up all the time? He knitted this whole hare-brained story together just so he could say the word "caliphate"!
Glenn Beck, who engineered 9/11 to sell hatred of Islam for 10 years?
I don't think Glenn Beck's here, man.
First you post Israel, now Glen Beck "engineered" 9/11. Are you sure AquaBuddah didn't engineer it to steal your brainwaves and sell them to Rudy Giuliani?
Doing that and sending him to his "happy place" could wreak havoc with his ratings.
Okay, I made it to 10:32 and I HAD TO GIVE UP
Only someone as monumentally stupid as Glenn Beck would try to connect the protests against anti-totalitarian regimes in the Middle East with the protests against significant cuts to public services and increased costs for higher education in Western Europe.
Glenn Beck may have run out of fire, but he has an endless supply of bullshit.
My guess is "Colonel Mustard in the conservatory with the candlestick ".
Colonel plumb in the Kasbah with a heavy copy of the Koran.
Personally, I knew it was the end of days when my Chinese brother in law, who was living next door to an elderly Greek man named Nick, showed off his flash new car with its "lucky" number plate ending in "668*.
"668, the neighbour of the beast"!
I totally feel sorry for the camera people on this show. They should riot.
Glen: "..they're rioting in Pakistan, oops that's an oil rig" LOL
Why isn't anyone taking Beck's theories seriously? You people seem to be implying a radio shock-jock with his own TV show isn't a credible source for impartial, fact-based analysis of international issues.
Eye wuz worreed 12 minuts of Glenn Beck wood afect my brane but I hasn"""t noticed enything diferent. I even has new frends cuz I can hear thare voices in my head butt fur sum reeson I kant see them.
also plz culd you put som flowrs on Robrt Welchs grave for me…
It could have been worse. He could have been writing it in his own feces instead of chalk.
Sooner or later it will come to that, probably when the Fox News demographic is mostly nursing home residents (pssst!-bet on sooner).
"LOOK YOU GUYS, GLENN BECK’S CONSTRUCTION-PAPER CAMPFIRE HAS JUMPED OVER TUNISIA AND INTO EGYPT. "
So THAT's who came up with Fox News' world map, showing Egypt right next to Iran.
If you don't believe in snowballs people, answer this…where is the country of Abyssinisa people? Or Rhodesia? What did they do with Zanzibar? Hmmmmm? Can you find them on maps? Where did they go? If you don't believe it was a Muslim Communist Snowball that wiped these countries FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH, then you, my friend, are just not paying attention.
My God Ceylon's gone too!!!1
And mocking the man gets you where in disproving his views?
Sorry, were we supposed to disprove his views? I thought we were here to mock. How does disproving his views help us mock the man? Let's review the video, shall we? Campfires lead to a Caliphate, which creates New China where you can get spicy kung pao bunny. There is nothing to "disprove."
Where on earth do people get this notion that I have any desire to "debate" or "match wits" with the likes of Glenn Beck, or that I cherish dreams of displaying my own intellectual prowess by "disproving" his views? Glenn Beck does not have "views"–he has "episodes." There's nothing intellectually challenging about what he says when in the throes of one. There's a lot that's hilarious, though.
Sorry Wonkette. I have listened to Beck less than five minutes in my life. I used to pick him up when scanning the radio dial many years ago. It always took less than a minute to figure he was fucking nuts and move on. No way am I going to waste twelve minutes of my life paying attention to anything this fucktard has to say, unless he is reading his suicide note; but that would have to be under a minute. He is just personally repugnant for some reason. Maybe because he is a batshit crazy asshole. Ya think?
Candied yams in a can with heavy syrup are the best.
For throwing.
What a cunt-tree.
If my brain could throw up, it would.
Don't be so dismissive–that's how Beck got a network gig.
I had to bail when he started quoting Bob Dylan.
Tangled up in chalk
Dammit! We need more chalkboards!
The screen-grab says all I have to know. Glennie Beckie needz moar baking-soda volcanoes.
There is a fine line between what we observed in that video and schizophrenia.
Sure Beckboy because everything that occurs anywhere involving Muslims is really about destroying Israel and the United States which would of course involve killing you. There is a name for people who think every event going on at all times is somehow related to them in some way or another: Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I didn't even need to be a psychologist to diagnose, this one is LOW HANGIN' FRUIT, same with Palin. Oh and NPD is also a derivative of being a sociopath…wouldn't it be totally shocking to find out Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin are just super duper selfish, self-centered psychos? I for one, would be crestfallen.
You should be well off , if you really bought the gold when he first talked about it.
You have to admit, he is right more often than not. A good 75-80 percent record.
You mistyped 0 percent record.
Well, let's be generous–if we're including things like knowing his name, date of birth, mailing address, and being able to correctly affix his signature on credit-card sales receipts, he probably does pretty well.
It's just the nonsense he says on the air that's lacking in the "facts" category.
What facts were missing? I hear a lot of left making that statement, but when you follow up by asking for specifics, they start name calling and other deflective tactics.
The old adage:
First your ignored, then mocked, then viciously attacked, then you win
And finally, if you're lucky, you're eventually able to learn about apostrophes.
Good eye sorespot! Seeing things that are just not there.
"I am opposed to Socialism because of its inhumanity; because it saps the
vitality of the human race which has no vitality to spare; because
it lulls to indolence those who must struggle to survive; because the
theories of good men who are enthralled by its delusions are made the
excuse of the wicked who would rather plunder than work; because it
stops enterprise, promotes laziness, exalts inefficiency, inspires
hatred, checks production, assures waste and instills into the souls
of the unfortunate and the weak hopes impossible of fruition whose
inevitable blasting will add to the bitterness of their lot.
"
Edward F Adams
Gosh, you're brave. A block of text from a 1913 pamphlet, cut and pasted with no context whatsoever, is certainly a relevant contribution to a thread about events in Egypt a hundred years later. Keep up the good "work"!
There is a reason you do not use Dr.
"What, me worry?" – Ronald Reagan
It is a sad state of affairs when a person has to get on the tube and educate our countrymen with a blackboard. The progressive left has infiltrated our schools and lowered the bar on education and what constitutes intellect. By most measures we are behind the most advanced nations in education, yet they think they are elite. That echo chamber they live in has cracked. For all the fodder, there is very little rebuke of what Beck presents, just trash talk and empty rants. And so goes their arguments.
You misspelled "edumacation."
Your use of phonetics is impressive.
or
Yur youse of foneticks ur empressif
I guess being multilingual has it's advantages
It is a sad state of affairs when a second-rate disk jockey with no background or expertise in anything whatsoever is paid to get on the tube and regale our countrymen with a blackboard and preposterous monologues executed with the help of construction paper cutouts. His political cohort doesn't give a shit about our schools or education and hasn't for a long time, and doesn't care what constitutes intellect as long as people with it don't vote. By most measures we are behind the most advanced nations in education and a lot of other things, yet some people actually think that makes us elite and that those among us with education are the real problem. Of course, that blackboard-scribbling jackass on the teevee who doesn't actually know tuppence about Egypt or any other country always was cracked. For all the chalk/drool/threats to chop up bunnies, there is essentially nothing credible in what Beck presents–just unsupported theories and speculation with no basis in the actual events in question. And so mocking him is fun.
If this is the success level of a second rate disc jockey, what is your example of a first rate one? We are behind most countries, inversely proportion to the amount of progressive liberalism that has been allowed to fester in America. Yes, those that have created the problems are the so-called educated. Teaching an ideology and not critical thinking, does not an erudite make.
Beck's success speaks less to his quality than to his embodiment of HL Mencken's adage "No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American people."
That explains Oberman, Mathews, O' Donnell, Huffington, less than half of congress (now)….
"First, kill all the evolutionists" – Shakespeare
Anyone else notice how conservatives have to have anything explained to them with props like a chalkboard or a Halloween "pimp" costume? It is almost like they are explaining concepts to small children. Or large children in "mobility scooters".
It's not Iran in 1979, exactly.
It's 1971 and it's this nervous, unpopular underacheiver kid, in sophomore class of highschool, explaining before homeroom how, y'know — "Stairway To Heaven" is really all about Led Zepplin's involvement with pentagrams and satan worship and how it all fits together, man, it's all— connected …
And yeah that kid is back with a new take on things.
I honestly wonder if Beck ever saw the word "caliphate" before, oh, say 2007 or so ….
Andy Kaufman's greatest trick was convincing the world that he's dead.
Libtard morons don't have the intellectual capacity for foreign policy discussion, so they analyze his medium – CHALK AND CONSTRUCTION PAPER!!! Argue amongst yourselves…dwarf geniuses. LOL!!
"I have a map! And Look! All these Muslim countries are adjacent to each other! Ye Gods! We are doomed!"
What in God's name is this asshole babbling about?
Putin's taking over the broadcast media in the Russian Federation just became much more palatable.
he repeats himself like a never ending story. hamas here and here, hezbollah here and here, fire here and there, back to hamas, hezbollah and the fires again, squeeeezing everyone eveywhere. Sunnis pissed off at Shias, squeezing Hamas over there.
Glen, please wear a straight jacket next time. it goes with the video.
This is scarier than the worst of my acid come downs. Seriously sinister shit. I'm glad I watched that eating cherry ice cream wearing pink pajamas cuddling my teddy.
Did he just say everything is okay in Sudan? Really? Yeah, no problems there. Other than armies of kidnapped boys and the slaying of villages.
This is too complicated. I don't even know why this means I should be scared of messican immigrants. I can haz sountbite please?
We didn't start the fire . . it was always burnin since the world's been turnin. . .
The Breitbart trolls have all provided great examples of the Dunning-Krueger effect in action, as they combine utter willful ignorance of history and science with superiority complex and know-it-all attitude. He's been popping up every great once in a while since their first incursion, and I suspect he's one of the routine downfisters; along with the guy who keeps changing his name and keeps popping up every once in a while.
Edited to add: Now I see he's just returned to that thread; sorry moron, going back to a day old, dead thread is completely pointless; no one's going to be addressing your babble because no one's even going to read it; I just downfisted and didn't read a word.
He's got an awesome anti-abortion rant up over there in which he seriously suggests (I guess he's serious) that instead of allowing abortions in cases of rape and incest, we should work to eliminate rape and incest. To which I just can't think of an appropriate response.
Maybe any woman being raped ever should try screaming "But what if I get pregnant?! Please Mr. Rapist think of the children!" I'm sure that will work better than a whistle.
Dammit, I mistakenly downfisted you. Musta been because I was thinking about the troll.
Gotta love the logic of people who think that putting Planned Parenthood out of business would decrease abortions.
But their goal isn't really to decrease abortions, just to decrease safe abortions that don't risk killing the patient.
or hooers.
Oh darn, I forgot to add the "spelling and grammar" tactic. I guess, I win.
You should spend more time on substance and less on cosmetics. It is just babble if it looks good but is empty.
Have you ever read any of Obama's works? You would have a field day.
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