LATE-TWENTIES REBELLION  10:23 am February 1, 2011

Half of George W. Bush’s Daughters Are Now Gay-Marriage Advocates

by Jack Stuef


Hey look, it’s that daughter, the one who was the bottom. The other one always seemed to take more after her father; this one, after all, actually seems slightly interested in politics and not quite so much in booze. So not only is Barbara Bush in favor of socialist health care plots (wow, remember that post?), she is also in favor of gay marriage, even though her father bravely tried to defend against this immoral attack on Christendom (when he was up for re-election, that is). Great! Perhaps it would have helped to say these things when her family was relevant to the political agenda.

According to the crack team at the Times, who always somehow know a thing or two about the Ivy League (must be from diligent journalism!), Barbara Bush used to be a minor gay icon:

C. Brian Smith, a friend from college who is gay, recalled that the Yale Ms. Bush inhabited was filled with openly gay students and unbothered by questions about sexuality. “She had that mind-set,” he said. “She was loved by the gay community at Yale.”

This girl spent way too much time with “C. Brians” and not enough with rattlesnakes, a gun, and a Bible as her only friends, it would seem. (Not that her father did. But when he got drunk enough, it seemed like it.)

A spokesman for Mr. Bush said he had no comment. Her sister, Jenna Bush Hager, a correspondent for “Today,” has not publicly discussed the topic.

“It’s time we pass a constitutional amendment against Barbara. Not that we have anything against people who are Barbara!” [NYT]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 105 comments }

Buzz Feedback February 1, 2011 at 10:25 am

Only problem is, HRC has done as much to advance the cause of gay marriage as Barbara's daddy did. Two snaps and your backfield in motion.

SorosBot February 1, 2011 at 10:28 am

You know, it is actually possible for fraternal twins to have two different fathers, just saying.

horsedreamer_1 February 1, 2011 at 10:57 am

I remember that from my ninth grade yearbook. The back featured notable events from the preceding year (1993, into '94), including a married couple in Holland who had fraternal twins after in vitro. One twin, white (donor sperm from husband?), the other, mulatto (due an improperly cleaned specimen dish (so the story went)).

Beowoof February 1, 2011 at 10:28 am

She must be the mailman's kid, cause she is way too smart.

ManchuCandidate February 1, 2011 at 10:29 am

I always thought she was the hotter of the two.

OneDollarJuana February 1, 2011 at 10:33 am

Yeah, but Jenna drinks so much that she'll do anything.

magic_titty February 1, 2011 at 10:34 am

Saw her down by NYU once. Cute girl. Not at all convinced she's a member of the Bush clan.

SorosBot February 1, 2011 at 10:37 am

By far; Jenna has George's face, and appears to have his brain as well.

SilverFox February 1, 2011 at 10:48 am

Agreed. And good for her for doing this. No snark here.

Crank_Tango February 1, 2011 at 11:06 am

i did too. now even more so.

Not_So_Much February 1, 2011 at 11:20 am

Also.

muthalovin February 1, 2011 at 10:29 am

Hey, sometimes you get really trashed and end up supporting things you will probably regret. Its the booze talking.

BaldarTFlagass February 1, 2011 at 10:30 am

Well, the gays are underprivileged anyway, so having Barbara Bush on their side will work out very well for them.

Oh, not that Barbara Bush? Sorry.

Buzz Feedback February 1, 2011 at 10:39 am

Perhaps we can establish a gay enclave in the Astrodome. Like Kosovo. But more fabulous.

horsedreamer_1 February 1, 2011 at 10:44 am

I think, at this point, they only use the Astrodome for rodeo & the occasional trade-show, so it's available. Why not make it the Gayza Strip?

DoktorZoom February 1, 2011 at 10:47 am

That Barbara Bush supports the rights of gay people to be stuffed into mason jars and kept on a shelf. In the closet, of course.

horsedreamer_1 February 1, 2011 at 10:30 am

Like her mother, Barbara Bush petite-fille has a bit too much interest in Cosmopolitans, & pair that predilection to an East Coast teeming with bohemes, bon-vivants, & queers, & it's only a matter of time before drunken slurring of Liza Minelli's oeuvre begins.

V572625694 February 1, 2011 at 10:30 am

"the Yale Ms. Bush inhabited was filled with openly gay students…" If that also the case when Chimpy and his daddy attended that fine institution, it would explain a lot of things.

Rosie_Scenario February 1, 2011 at 10:31 am

I'm waiting for Pierce Bush's opinion on the subject.

V572625694 February 1, 2011 at 10:36 am

The gayest Bush name, to be sure.

horsedreamer_1 February 1, 2011 at 10:45 am

Piercing bush is only gay if a lesbian is strapping on & riding to glory.

Lascauxcaveman February 1, 2011 at 11:15 am

"Here's the dildo…"

-Sarah Palin

SorosBot February 1, 2011 at 11:06 am

Gayer that Prescott Bush, the old patrician patriarch who did business with the Nazis?

elviouslyqueer February 1, 2011 at 11:36 am

Ah yes, Pierce. The Bush who put the "anal" in Industry Analyst.

OneDollarJuana February 1, 2011 at 10:33 am

Barbara Bush comes out in 1 … 2 …

HolyMaracas February 1, 2011 at 10:36 am

This is pretty much like having Hitler's kids as advocates for antisemitism awareness.

Bonzos_Bed_Time February 1, 2011 at 10:36 am

Just hope she doesn't come to god and become one of those bitter and resentful dry-alcoholics. Not that that's common in her family or anything.

CrunchyKnee February 1, 2011 at 10:37 am

Barb's drunken father couldn't have given two shits about gay marriage. He just said he was "agin it" for the votes from Hoveround riders.

Oblios_Cap February 1, 2011 at 11:03 am

I always thought he was a closet queen who loved pole smoking. Having Babs as a mom would sour anyone on women.

ifthethunderdontgetya February 1, 2011 at 10:38 am

According to the crack team at the Times

This explains so much of what comes out of the Times these days.

(For instance, who decided to hire Ross Douthat?)

It is the cocaine talking!
~

DaSandman February 1, 2011 at 11:29 am

That cocaine is a helluva drug.

LiveToServeYa February 1, 2011 at 10:38 am

Today, we are all unrelated to George W. Bush. Let us thank all the respective Powers we worship or none at all for that.

DashboardBuddha February 1, 2011 at 10:39 am

Kids…you sacrifice, you worry, you do everything you can to bring them up correctly. Then, they turn around and bite you in ass by doing the right thing.

Troubledog February 1, 2011 at 10:39 am

Obviously received that awesome haircut as compensation for the endorsement. Straight guys can't cut hair like that.

EdFlintstone February 1, 2011 at 10:39 am

Wow these young republicans are making the GOP seem so cool. Hell in another 20 years they will be able to openly come out and support evolution.

thefrontpage February 1, 2011 at 11:05 am

Great post!

SorosBot February 1, 2011 at 11:08 am

Her and Megs McCain certainly fall far from the tree when it comes to social issues; pity Megs ain't all that bright.

natoslug February 1, 2011 at 12:42 pm

She may not be all that bright, but she's got some nice headlamps.
(why yes, I DO seem to have reverted to 13 today . . . )

Lascauxcaveman February 1, 2011 at 11:18 am

In another 20 years (hell, a lot sooner, if my experience is any guide) they'll be registered Democrats.

LiveToServeYa February 1, 2011 at 11:54 am

Dragged, kicking and screaming, into the 19th century.

DoktorZoom February 1, 2011 at 10:40 am

Cool–now she gets to ride in the back of the RINO pickup.

DerrickWildcat February 1, 2011 at 10:40 am

I still don't trust her

prommie February 1, 2011 at 10:42 am

Is this the young Michelle Bachman? I would so hit it!

Not_So_Much February 1, 2011 at 11:22 am

Not enough krazee in the eyezballz. But, we have photographic evidence that she certainly knows her way around a red cup. Party on!

freakishlywrong February 1, 2011 at 10:48 am

Somewhere, Jesus is clearing brush. And weeping.

BarryOPotter February 1, 2011 at 11:41 am

I totally read that as "clearing bush" and expected you to go in a different direction… Bummer.

Negropolis February 2, 2011 at 1:31 am

I read it the same way. I guess that what you call doing Mary Magdalene. I'm going to hell, obviously.

ladyface February 1, 2011 at 10:49 am

New Yorkers for marriage equality…

…does it to you?

user-of-owls February 1, 2011 at 10:49 am

About now, her hate-spittled grandmother is probably muttering, "Where's Paula when you need her?"

Monsieur_Grumpe February 1, 2011 at 10:54 am

It must be tough growing up as a girl named Bush.

user-of-owls February 1, 2011 at 10:57 am

Where I grew up there was a family of "Hoars." Naturally, all six kids in the family were girls.

SorosBot February 1, 2011 at 11:09 am

I know a family of Hos, mostly girls as well.

Lascauxcaveman February 1, 2011 at 11:20 am

My mother was a Hoare until the day she married my dad. My grandma, on the the other hand became one the day she married grampa.

Neighborhood kids used to say "Let's down to the Hoare house and play."

horsedreamer_1 February 1, 2011 at 10:58 am

That's why she shaves.

JustPixelz February 1, 2011 at 12:21 pm

Worse if you're a boy named Bush. And worst if you're a drunk, cheerleader, C- student whose can't read at the "bin Laden Determined to Attack in U.S." level of comprehension.

JackDempsey1 February 1, 2011 at 10:59 am

I want my mind-set back.

randoracer February 1, 2011 at 11:02 am

I so hate this entire family — including all of the devil-spawn — with a white-hot passion that knows no depths, but … I'd do a three-way with Babs and her girlfriend.

MsQuasimodo February 4, 2011 at 1:00 am

Men – always willing to compromise their most treasured values when fantasies of pussy is involved.

thefrontpage February 1, 2011 at 11:04 am

Barbara Bush is hot! How's she feel about sum wimmin-on-wimmin gay marriage! Hey, what if Barbara Bush, Mary Cheney and Mecan't McKeg all got together and

Oblios_Cap February 1, 2011 at 11:06 am

Damn. There goes my fantasy of hate-fucking both the Bush daughters. I guess I'll have to donkey punch Jenna twice and let Barbara slide.

LakeAfflicted February 1, 2011 at 11:07 am

A genetic anomaly, like her cousin Lauren who goes around promoting environmentalist causes at fashion shows. The House of Bush has been trying to breed these tendencies out of the line, but is still plagued by occasional human progeny.

MildMidwesterner February 1, 2011 at 11:07 am

Even as a straight male, I've always preferred Barbara over Jenna.

MistaEko February 1, 2011 at 11:11 am

And as is tradition with Bush siblings, Barbara finds her nascent political career to be cut short, while Jenna is fast-tracked for a run in the 2020s after her born-again conversion.

harry_palmer February 1, 2011 at 11:11 am

Gay marriage can't fix bent chromosomes, tho. Her grandfather married a dude and look what they ended up reproducing.

simplyblue7 February 1, 2011 at 11:14 am

Please…what would the gays at Yale know about a gay icon?

Boredw/Gravity February 1, 2011 at 11:16 am

I thought Jenna was the gay advocate. Her husband is gay, right?

Not_So_Much February 1, 2011 at 11:22 am

Is her married name 'Beard'?

horsedreamer_1 February 1, 2011 at 11:30 am

That's their safe-word.

BklynIlluminati February 1, 2011 at 11:22 am

Walnuts daughter better watch her back. This one is muscling in her territory

Preferred Customer February 1, 2011 at 2:18 pm

As between those two, my money is on Meg being the muscle.

thefrontpage February 1, 2011 at 11:23 am

According to Page Six, Pierce Bush and Alvin Greene are now openly dating, and they were recently seen sipping champagne, lightly laughing, and criticizing fashion choices and handbag sizes at a recent exclusive fashion show and designer runway event sponsored by Lauren Bush in the trendy SoHo neighborhood in New York City!!! Everyone was later seen dancing together into the wee hours at a party at The Yale Club sponsored by Elton John, Tommy Tune, Boy George and Liza Minnelli!!

tbogg February 1, 2011 at 11:27 am

If she really believed in sexual equality, she would agree to co-star in a remake of Bound with Meghan McCain. Otherwise, it's all just talk…

horsedreamer_1 February 1, 2011 at 11:31 am

Has a little bit of Chelsea Clinton to her. Any chance Bill was hitting up on Laura, on the sly, 'round '84?

FlownOver February 1, 2011 at 11:43 am

So, Barbara plus Ron Reagan, and you achieve a Republican Singularity resulting in the obliteration of the right half of the universe.

donner_froh February 1, 2011 at 11:50 am

Just checking her hair and make-up it seems that Barbara no longer suffers from the dreaded NGF (No Gay Friends) syndrome that causes those suffering from it to appear at events or on TV looking horrid or at least not fabulous.

GregComlish February 1, 2011 at 12:01 pm

Sure, everyone give Barbara Jr. a pass, but what about Mary Cheney? When she endorsed gay Marriage, all people could do was talk about what a hypocritical sack of shit she was, how she betrayed the gay community and squandered her opportunity to take a courageous stance when it counted. Why? Probably because Barbara is hot and because she pleads for poor African children while Mary Cheney is not hot and her visage is a vicious facsimile of her ghoulish father whose torture regime she has aggressively and repeatedly defended on national television.

Oblios_Cap February 1, 2011 at 12:16 pm

Mary Cheney is a hypocritical sack of shit for many reasons unrelated to her sexuality. That having been said, she is not in the same shitstain league as her older sibling Liz, who apparently inherited more evil from their sire, Darth Cheney.

hagajim February 1, 2011 at 12:07 pm

I think I might enjoy seeing that Barbara's bush….or landing strip…

horsedreamer_1 February 1, 2011 at 12:10 pm

Cry every nite… For you.

Barbara_i February 1, 2011 at 12:34 pm

Today we are all Barbara! Well, I am and the rest of you are on your own.
Snark aside, I appreciate this young lady speaking out without asking for a big Tiger Woods-sized check and a few bags of swag to go. This is how it is done, Bristol! When you believe in something you support it, it doesn't support you.

Chet Kincaid February 1, 2011 at 3:57 pm

That's the difference between Old Political Money (your Bushes and Kennedys) and Nouveau Grift. A Palin thinks "Noblesse Oblige" means "I'm your girlfriend now, give me your Subway Melt!"

OneYieldRegular February 1, 2011 at 12:35 pm

I'm withholding full comment until I see whether her father follows John McCain's example and comes forth to issue, gratuitously, some rabid defense of hetero-only marriage so that his daughter can be thoroughly humiliated.

twaingirl February 1, 2011 at 12:46 pm

He didn't show them the fetal mason jar.

GregComlish February 1, 2011 at 1:00 pm

I did.

Rhetorically, I was trying to feign sympathy for Cheney and then expose her as a disgusting fraud thereby heightening the contrast between her and Barbara. It was a stab at a sort-of John Oliver/ Daily Show take on the situation. In retrospect, that rhetorical strategy was too ambiguous and vulnerable to being interpreted as a genuine defense of Mary Cheney. I would have thought that describing Cheney as a "vicious facsimile of her ghoulish father whose torture regime she has aggressively and repeatedly defended" would have blunted that interpretation, but given the bold insanity prevalent in the Troll Community I can understand why somebody might misunderstand.

Anyway, I've learned my lesson. Next time I'm just calling Mary Cheney an authoritarian cunt and leaving it at that.

Preferred Customer February 1, 2011 at 2:20 pm

Stop defending Mary Cheney.

assistantatlas February 1, 2011 at 1:01 pm

Actually, I think I'm more surprised to discover that she's a New Yorker, now, apparently?

Toomush_Infer February 1, 2011 at 1:08 pm

Can't help it….me want Barbara….

PhilippePetain February 1, 2011 at 1:16 pm

Babs is obviously the more attractive of the two, but, considering Jenna's resemblance to certain family members, I'm thinking She's more deserving of a good fury-fuck. Amirite?

PalinPussyPower February 1, 2011 at 1:23 pm

I'd hit that.

Chet Kincaid February 1, 2011 at 1:40 pm

Right! X-Men is the Good Gay Metaphor, and all the Vampire Crap all over the PopCult is the Bad One.

chascates February 1, 2011 at 1:52 pm

Her twin sister Jenna was too intoxicated to comment. And her father was out cycling with Jesus.

Negropolis February 2, 2011 at 1:35 am

It's funny, because it was Jenna who went all straight-and-narrow after her teen years. Jenna turned into this frumpy humanitarian turned media employee.

Negropolis February 2, 2011 at 8:00 am

BTW, is "cycling with Jesus" like "hiking the Appalachian Trail"?

FlownOver February 1, 2011 at 3:34 pm

Incidentally, how can one twin engender such arousal and the other (the Today-show clown, obvs.) such revulsion?

mourningnmerica February 1, 2011 at 4:44 pm

OK, I see a really hot Republican chick speaking. So, naturally, I begin masturbating. But wait, what's this? Where is the spewing of hate? Where is the batshit? When I realized what she was saying, I lost (involuntarily, I assure you) my erection. Now I am angry and confused, with feelings of worthlessness. Damn it, I guess you can't count on anything these days…

ttommyunger February 1, 2011 at 5:32 pm

When awakened from his drunken stupor and informed of this familial transgression, Daddy sat bolt upright, farted once and fell back asleep mumbling something about pretzels, tacos and tax cuts.

JackObin February 1, 2011 at 5:53 pm

Wow, two Yale illiterates in one family! I wonder if young Babs knows how hard it is for her father to put food on her.

Fare la Volpe February 1, 2011 at 10:45 pm

Which half? I hope it's the upper half, because God only knows where that bottom half's been.

the_onceler February 1, 2011 at 10:58 pm

I would straight-marry her for doing this ad.

Negropolis February 2, 2011 at 1:32 am

Are you reading my mind? Get out of my head!

Poindexter718 February 2, 2011 at 11:15 am

Go forth, Wonkette, and find out what Gin-a Bush drinks about the gays marrying.

Panty_Buns February 2, 2011 at 1:48 pm

OMG, I'm in a state of shock and denial. I can't believe that the apparently intelligent young woman in that video could be related in any way to George W. Bush, the most retarded member of the Bush crime family.

jus_wonderin February 2, 2011 at 2:34 pm

I am late to this party. Has anyone asked how she feels about Aunt Fetus Jar??

horsedreamer_1 February 1, 2011 at 11:28 am

Where do you think they got the Bones for Skull & Bones?

V572625694 February 1, 2011 at 11:40 am

“Eating” clubs like Skull and “Bones,” for instance.

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