Just trying to complete the bucket list!You know what sometimes happens when people try to scare wingnuts by saying Dearborn, Michigan is a dangerous city full of Muslins that is trying to impose Shariah law on us all? Sometimes, an old white guy decides it needs to be blown up. Weird, huh? It’s like, How would such a person make a connection between the Fox News shows telling him such a place needs to stop existing and deciding he needs to go make it stop existing? 63-year old Roger Stockham of California loaded his car with fireworks and drove to Michigan to invest the state with tourism dollars and death. But then he made the mistake of telling a TRAITOROUS fellow non-Muslim at a bar that he was blowing up a mosque, and he was caught. And now he’s officially a failed terrorist.

It is amazing how the millions of non-Muslim people who live in and around Dearborn do not think the Dearborn Muslims are a threat. Are they too busy being concerned about being unemployed and trying to keep their family afloat in the hellish Michigan economy to watch Fox News? Because they should. This Dearborn is evil, according to the Fox News people who don’t live there. There are terrorists being made. Terrorist white guys who watch Fox News, that is.

Dearborn Mayor Jack O’Reilly said the suspect “had a lot of high-end fireworks.”

“It was the max you could buy legally.”

The problem with old white guys who become terrorists is that they have no imagination. Because the propaganda they watch is even duller and stupefying than Al Qaeda’s.

Haddad said that a witness said that Stockham was planning to blow up the mosque. The suspect “appeared to be acting alone,” Haddad said.

Acting alone with the implicit support of various wingnut “news” outlets who scare people like him in order to make money off their hatred. [Detroit Free Press]

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  • Fireworks? Seriously? It's the explosive equivalent of eating 100 Slim Jims to get your 100% daily intake of Vitamin A. Just… wow. White guys who take Faux seriously are seriously dumb.

    • AngryBlakGuy

      …you my friend have obviously never went to college! I remember when 3 beers and a bag of Doritos was considered a 4 course meal!

      • I didn't get this stupid by not going to higher larning. You and your eelightist meal courses. I lived on one course as I just dumped everything that consisted my "meal" into the pot.

    • Crank_Tango

      ANFO or GTFO!

    • OneDollarJuana

      You eat 100 Slim Jims and you'll be explosive!

      • You would probably stroke out from your year's supply of sodium combined with the inability to poop out all the rawhide.

      • genxr

        The airborne fart brigade swoops in to unleash their own special brand of hell. War is Hell. And Hell is for Gyros.

    • You have obviously never seen The Naked Gun.

    • deanbooth

      The Times Square car bomber guy used M80s, too, though the propane tanks added a bit more credibility.

    • zhubajie

      Black gun powder is a real explosive. Enough of it will blow up a mosque for sure.

  • PeaceWithHonor

    Fox take: Decoy plot to earn sympathy for the Islamists. Kill.

    • Ruhe

      If they're hiring you should apply cause that's brilliant.

    • horsedreamer_1

      He was inspired by the Radical Leftist who shot up the Holocaust Museum.

    • GOPCrusher

      We also would have accepted a Democratic plant on a mission to make Sarah Palin look bad.

    • Well he's from California, so he's obviously a liberal hippie. Just look at that booking photo.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Don't know how much damage you can do with sparklers and Magic Snakes. Now, if there were bottle rockets in his trunk, he should get life.

    • OneDollarJuana

      Sparklers apparently make pretty good bombs. Check out the youtubes. Now snakes on the other hand, just make a smelly mess.

  • memzilla

    The Hatestream Media must cease.

  • Frost/Nixon/Robocop

    He might have succeeded if he had only worked out on some monkey bars. That is, instead of not working out at all.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …why does this sound like something that was planned out around a camp fire, while drinking bottom of the pot moonshine with a guy named Cooter?!

    • Ruhe

      Well I think these guys would be less terror prone if they spent more time with Cooter, but we're probably not talking about the same thing.

  • LiveToServeYa

    High-end fireworks? Those star-shells and sparklers can do a lot of damage. Failorist.

    • Those were "Class C" – for Christian, Conservative and Constitutional – fireworks, so the law can't touch him at all.

      • OneDollarJuana

        And just where do most people have to get "high end" fireworks? Indian reservations, that's where. Another oppressed minority that might harbor a grudge. It can't be the white guy's fault, white guys aren't terrists.

        • Negropolis

          Actually, here in Michigan, you get "high-end" fireworks from across the border in that barbarous land we call Indiana-tucky also known by its Muslim name "Hoosieria".

    • glamourdammerung

      Kind of like the would be "Times Square Bomber".

  • GregComlish

    I suspect the Roman Candles were, in fact, a political statement about the embattled Western civilization fighting back against the Muslim incursion.

    Still not sure how the bottle rockets fit in the paradigm …

    • user-of-owls

      Duh! National Anthem, of course!

    • Barrelhse

      You know, "..In the bottle-rocket's red glare…"

      • hunterblatherer

        "We bombed a town fair,
        With proof from the right,
        That a muslin was there."

  • There you go again, Jack.

    Trying to take Glenn Beck's freedumbs away, just like he drawed it up on the chalkboard.

  • Weenus299

    Maybe he was just going to set them all off on a random night to disturb the sleep of thousands of Muslins Dearborn-wide.

    • Negropolis

      No need, the call to prayer already does that. lol

  • ttommyunger

    Oh well, he's got three Hots and a Cot for life, now, and plenty of fellow morons to banter with about the impending Muslim threat. Manchu is seriously correct, though; it is fortunate that those who drink the FoxTard Kool-Aid are stupefyingly dumb.

    • Frost/Nixon/Robocop

      In prison, the, "impending Muslim threat," is getting raped by a Muslim.

      • ttommyunger

        He doesn't have a very pretty mouth, or anything else, for that matter, but then rape has little to do with aesthetics, prison or otherwise.

      • zhubajie

        Probably lots of Muslims in prison….

  • x111e7thst

    I'm waiting for M Bachman to explain to me how this fucktard was driven to act by Obummer taking away his Second Amendment Remedies.

  • Beetagger

    Freedumb fireworks.

  • metamarcisf

    He acted alone, huh? Guess who else "acted alone".

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Stuart Whitman in Give 'Em Hell, Harry!?

    • horsedreamer_1

      Jack Aronson.

    • Ruhe

      Joe Rozzi?

    • user-of-owls

      Marcel Marceau?

    • The crew of Babylon 5?

    • OneDollarJuana

      Hal Holbrook?

      • nounverb911

        HAL 9000

    • SorosBot

      James Franco in 127 Hours?

    • AutomaticPilot

      Anyone who had Charlie Sheen as a co-star?

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Christine O'Donnell? (before she reformed her witchy, self-touching ways.)

    • teebob2000

      Ryan Reynolds?

    • zhubajie

      A lone nutter can accomplish things a committee cannot.

      • I'm adding "lone nutter" to my list of synonyms for, um…

  • V572625694

    See? The system works! Let's increase appropriations to DHS and FBI immediately! And TSA will deploy their new $475K/ea Cherry Bomb Detector at 200 airports just as soon as Chertoff's firm can get them built.

    • DashboardBuddha

      The only problem with that is the machine will also wipe anything written by Joan Jett/Runaways from your ipod.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Maybe he thought he would blow up the toilets in the mosque with them cherry bombs. The joke's on him, though, as those Eastern-style toilets, mostly just a hole in the floor, don't lend themselves to that kind of pranksterism.

      • OneDollarJuana

        Might be a little blow-back in those bathrooms.

      • V572625694

        “Bomb sight” is the preferred moniker for that type commode, coincidentally!

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Yeah "surveyors marks" just sounds a little too scat-fetishy for something like that.

    • They're waiting for the latest modification – the Intracolonic Cherry Bomb Detection Module – before they deploy. The primary added feature is that, upon detection, the device emits a signal detonating the contraband in situ.

      • HELisforHEL

        If used in the Muslin mosque bathrooms, would detonation then occur 'In Shitu"?

  • Ruhe

    True story: My office manager, Debbie (natch), came in to work the other day in quite a fluster about the terror bombing that had happened in Arizona. "I hadn't heard about that" I said and quickly got on MSNBC an CNN to look for the news. Nothing. Then Debbie says, "well it was all over FOX." So we go and look at The "breaking news" was about a raggedy old book being found in the middle of the godforsaken desert. What the Debbies all over America heard was "Terror bomber on way to terror bombing appointment leaves behind threatening paperback. Officials on high Alert." The Debbies are sweet as pie but they're gonna kill us all.

    • user-of-owls

      they're gonna kill us all …with synergy.

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      Yeah, but what was the book? It very well could have been a terrorist book, like the gay penguin book 'And Tango Makes Three'.

    • BarryOPotter

      "Damn it, Eli! Is this your book? I think you owe Debbie (natch) an apology. She saw your big-ass book in the Arizona desert and now she's quite freaked the fuck out…"

    • GOPCrusher

      She weigh 350 and reek of White Out? Because I think we have the same office manager.

    • We had a "Debbie" in the office I was working in on 9/11. A few weeks afterwards when everyone was freaking out about anthrax, she spotted a pile of white powder one day and pushed the panic button, and we all had to evacuate the building. Turned out to be powdered sugar from a doughnut. True story.

    • Barrelhse

      Not sure what that says about your office.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Don't worry, if your town has public transit, chances are Debbie will step in front of a moving bus/train/subway before she can do too much damage to others.

    • Bonzos_Bed_Time

      Hmmm, Little Debbie…

  • Barbara_i

    This will help to quench his love for prison food and butt sex.

    • Moonbat

      And pruno!

  • SorosBot

    I'm sure of two things:

    1) The mainstream media will never report on this; right-wing terrorism just does not exist in their world.

    2) If any wingnuts do learn of this, they will come up with some convoluted bullshit reason to claim the right-wing media is in no way responsible for an incident that they were clearly responsible for; hell, I wouldn't be surprised if the name-changing Breitbart troll joins this very thread pulling something out of his ass to claim this guy was a liberal, as he did with Loughner.

    • jim89048

      Of course he's a librul–hello, California? How could he not be a librul? Unless he lives in Orange County, or anywhere else that's more than 30 miles from the coast, that is.

    • Who do you mean by the "mainstream media?" I see stuff like this reported all the time.

    • Negropolis

      Apparently, the Detroit News (the conservative of the two dailies in the city) mentioned three times throughout their article on this that the guy was arrested for making threats against president Bush because of something he said about Iraq, but didn't mention whether he was making threats because he thought Bush's comments were too liberal or too conservative. Leave it to the News, though, to make sure that we knew he made a threat against Bush, though.

      The guy is an old right-winger army vet who has made threats against Muslims, before, and who it was reported referred to the post leader at his VFW as a "nigger." He's an over-all racists and bigot with behavorial issues.

  • “It was the max you could buy legally.”

    At least he was going to do it legally.

  • freakishlywrong

    "Acting Alone" = "Isolated indecent" = right wing hate rhetoric not to blame.
    Old white guy = not a terrist'; terrists are brown. Just an unhinged veteran. Next!

  • prommie

    I don't think its going to take a chalkboard to draw the lines to Glenn Beck here.

    • SorosBot

      Stop blood libeling Glenn Beck!

      • Crank_Tango

        can we start blood letting him? a gallon or so oughta do it.

    • Bonzos_Bed_Time

      Homeschoolers don't have chalkboards: The Bible is all they need.

      • zhubajie

        Say what you will about the Bible, but it doesn't have guns or explosives.

        • Bonzos_Bed_Time

          You obviously aren't familiar w/ the the apostle of St. Killacommiemuslimadayforjesus.

          • zhubajie

            There's lots of killing in the Bible, but you had to do it up closeand personal.

  • Another article said the he had a lot of M-80s. I wonder if he planned on lighting them one at time and tossing them at the mosque? Maybe he was going to blow up their garbage cans or mail box which are the number one targets of all people with M-80s.

    • littlebigdaddy

      Or flush one down the toilet–imagine the plumber's bill!

  • baconzgood

    The Zambelli Brothers are proud to present George Carlin look alike's "Mr. Stockham Goes to Dearborn"

  • user-of-owls

    Attempted Homicide Bomber

    Per the Fox style manual

  • Pragmatist2

    Did he plan to have musical accompaniment?
    I'm not sure the 1812 Overture works.
    How about "Schaharazade?"

    • MrsBiggTime

      Something from Ted Nugent would be good.

    • lulzmonger

      "Yakkity Sax."

      • HELisforHEL

        You win the day.

  • horsedreamer_1

    Michigan: America's Chechnya.

  • HolyMaracas

    Silly old wingtard. On his way to Michigan, he should've stopped by Arizona to load up on real, regulation-free ammo.

  • KochFembot

    I bet this guy has lots of awesome bumper stickers on the back of his pickup.

  • Beyond mailboxes, M-80s don't blow-up much savin' those who picked up *duds* and are short a couple of fingers. However, and as a chemist just sayin', M-80s could be used as percussive detonators for significantly larger ka-booms and they are readily available if not locally legal. Here's hopin' they seriously bust his truk nutz and send a clear message to the vigilantes.

  • chickensmack

    Take a look inside the Hall of Mirrors, where left is right, and up is down, and you'll finally understand what makes up the complex portrait of George Carlin — Behind the Grave.

    • LiveToServeYa

      Actually, when I saw the pic, the first thing through my mind was 'George Carlin, NOOOO!' Then, I remembered he was dead and that he'd never blow up a mosque. Maybe a Las Vegas hotel, but not a mosque.

      • chickensmack

        Funny, but in another thread here, someone referenced William Conrad. Thus, thanks to idyllic memories, I was hearkened back to when the Mads got "the sillies", when they invented the First Alert William Conrad Refrigerator Alarm.

        Now I see Teevee's Frank's mug rising out of my post. I shall fap now.

  • DangerHelvetica

    I'm sure we'll hear equally as much about this guy as the Christmas tree FBI-plant bomber.

  • cheetojeebus

    It's been almost two weeks since that white power nut in Arizona got snatched up by the fuzz with a butt load of homemade hand grenades, yet zero outrage on cnn much less fox, then there is this friggin moran, seems to me the kettle is boiling and no one is watching.

    • glamourdammerung

      Well, no one wants to hurt the teabagger's precious widdle feelings.

  • BZ1

    Here's an interesting take on this from the Detroit Free Press article feedback: (Birinmich): "So a left wing liberal nut job from California with an anti-religion, anti-government twist thinks he can blow up a mosque with fireworks. 3rd page news at best."

  • superdave

    This is why the muslins will win. Our terrorists are morons.

    • LesBontemps

      Worse, they're morans.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      To be fair, most of the brown terrists are morons, too Otherwise they would be be in a better line of work.

      (Underpants bomb? Hello!?)

      • superdave

        Hey, at least that dude made it onto the plane with explosives on his junk. This guy can't even get to the mosque without blabbing about it.

        Hellooooo! OPSEC, anybody?!? Them A-rabs had 19 guys in the country for months without blowing their cover.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    If you ban fireworks, then only criminals will have sparklers.

  • Thurman Munster IV

    The mayor of Dearborn is named O'Reilly? That's it, the Irish are traitorous Muslins, too

  • nounverb911

    "And now he’s officially a failed terrorist."
    When doe he get his own FOX show?

    • horsedreamer_1

      G. Gordon Liddy resents the implication. He is much more attractive than the man atop this post.

  • fartknocker

    This looks like the same guy who blew the shit out of his Walmart flat screen when Bristol Palin got too many votes when watching that teevee show "Dancing with the Wasilla Wanabees." So many mixed messages from the TeaTards.

  • bigdupa

    Wonder how the Muslins in prison are going to handle this cupcake?

  • Oblios_Cap

    Now that he's retired, Brett Favre is just looking around for a hobby to keep him busy it appears.

    • I have had it up to here with you guys going into the future and stealing my comments!!!

    • SorosBot

      Retired for now. After the first five retirements, it's hard to believe he's really retired until opening day comes and he's not embarrassing himself by throwing interceptions for some desperate struggling team.

      • GOPCrusher

        The Bears could use a quarterback………..

    • glamourdammerung

      Brett Favre would have sent dick pictures to the mosque, not tried to bomb it.

  • babyeinstein

    yo jack, no offense, this article is funny, but the commenters at faux news are really delivering the zingers on this one. you guys should check it out.

    "wow that's scary…that there is a mosque that big in america," jokes "virginiamom." HILARIOUS. enjoy, you pieces of shit libruls.

  • Gunner Asch

    This guy looks a lot like me. Since I'm in Eastern Oregon that's not a minus.

  • I'm not so sure that using fireworks is such a dopey idea. Last 4th of July, the Calumet Region Grassroots Fireworks Spectacular was more impressive than Daley's shows, and the idiot across the street from me was firing off ordnance at midnight that was so loud and roof-rattling that we were seriously afraid for our house and their life and limb.

  • Boy, Favre went downhill fast!

  • Ancient_Hackery

    Must be a lefty. He looks exactly like George Carlin's beefier younger brother.

  • SaintRond

    In his Fox News delirium he figured he could just tell anyone who wasn't wearing a turban about what he was planning to do and there wouldn't be any problems, because of course everyone who's normal wants to blow up some mosque in Dearborn.

  • mavenmaven

    Well, as this plot is too big for him, he can become a widely defended teabag hero by killing some innocent 9 year old girl. Especially if she pleads for her life first.

  • genxr

    Fox News Headline: Explosives found in Radical Mosque, a clear threat to America's Heartland.

    No details at 11. That will be all.

  • genxr

    Zombie George Carlin will kill us all!

  • BZ1

    readers in the Detroit Free Press article feedback page have already convinced themselves that is a leftwing nutjob, why? 'cause he's from Californication…

  • mourningnmerica

    I blame John Mellencamp.

  • He should be up next in Budweiser's "Real American Heroes/Real Men of Genius" series.

    "Mister Really Dumb Would-Be Mosque Bomberrrrrr…."

  • lulzmonger

    The Cherry-Bomb Bomber, eh? I have a sneaking suspicion this guy's family tree looks like the Olympic logo.

  • Come here a minute

    His hearing aid is broken — he heard that Shariah was outlawing creeps.

  • mourningnmerica

    If he hadn't forgot the punks, this could've all ended different.

  • problemwithcaring

    The article says this loon is anti-government. The Glen Beck White Board of Crazy explanation of how a mosque in Michigan is related to the socialist government takeover must have been something to behold.

  • mumbly_joe

    Ken, you got this story completely wrong. For starters, everybody knows that white people can't be terrorists. Ever.

    I demand that you replace every instance of "terrorist" in the abovegoing article with "Lone disgruntled nut, who was probably also a secret leftist, also, too."

  • teebob2000

    I saw the URL of the first link going to and I thought, "they're fucking linking to Free Republic?"

  • hagajim

    Did this dude have a Maroon pickup with Missouri plates that said something about Rhino's?

  • Bonzos_Bed_Time

    Post-Ramadan festivities!

  • Redhead

    And Palin blames it on the members of the mosque in 3…2…1…

  • Negropolis

    If anyone is interested in more news from the Freep:

    Nahhas said he went over to speak to the man, Roger Stockham, after bar employees said there was something odd about him. He had a laptop opened to a page featuring Arabic news and a briefcase.

    "When someone is joking, you know that he's joking. This guy was not joking," Nahhas said.

    "He scared us. He kept saying 'I'm going to make this place famous.' "

    And this:

    "I tried to talk to him. I said if you have issues, people have issues with the government, but they don't go killing innocent people," Nahhas said.

    He said the man told him "that he was going to be making history that day. He said there was going to be a big explosion tonight. My main concern was where."

    "He said, 'Here, there, the mosque' and he kept repeating it," Nassah said. "I realized that this guy meant business. He said 'I am having a magical moment, a historical moment. I'm going to be a part of making history.' "

    Nahhas, 53, said Stockham seemed intelligent, serious and jubilant. "He was trying to celebrate," he said.

    And this:

    Stockham was wearing a black ski mask when police stopped him and was driving a car packed with high-end fireworks, police said.

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