America Knows What's Important, Charlie Sheen vs. Egypt Edition
It's time for another episode ofAmerica's Choice: The Final Days, starring wacky cocaine addict/hooker assaulter Charlie Sheen, who is apparently a television star and not just a full-time human joke, and what's it, the place with King Tut. Iran? Guess who lost?
If you said, "Well it looks like America lost," then you hate the troops.
As for the Charlie Sheen thing, remember that his talented father not only made such artistic/commercial successes asApocalypse Now!andBadlands-- and teevee'sThe West Wing, for those of you who remember a time not so long ago when a serious drama about the White House was a hit broadcast show -- but he has also spent most of his adult life in the earnest, sober pursuit of liberal causes such as nuclear disarmament, workers' rights, civil rights, women's rights, etc. His talentless embarrassment of a son is a bloated drug addict who abandoned his many children, beat his wife, shot the mother of his first child, and is constantly arrested for violent attacks on prostitutes. (This is all in two paragraphs on Wikipedia. God knows what a half hour's search on the Internet would discover.) America: Where intellectual and moral and cultural collapse are painfully visible from one generation to the next.
Sorry I'm late for this. Friday night I invented an important new drink. First you get a big 10oz. water glass I used my Granny's Baccart, or a big empty wax soda cup, fill it with ice and pour in some Orange Crush and top it with however much expensive cognac you need. I'm calling it Snookie's Sunrise. You are welcome Charlie!
Only if he can fuck a Palin. He needs to pick up some of that gravitas. He's already got the gravitis. So he's close!