Yeah, that’s exactly what it looks like. Tea Party News Brief, starring Ava. Because Fox News seemed suspiciously lucid and organized.
Sufficiently urban. Needs more virtual furry sex. And Ron Paul.
Oh good, there’s a guestbook!
[YouTube via Right Wing Watch]
Hola wonkerados.
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{ 228 comments }
'Ava' looks as if she's gonna squat and take a shit on the 'floor'.
I was thinking more that she's practicing the urination-while-standing position. You never know when you might pick up some extra money that way.
Go to commercial, for Gods sake, she gonna piss herself!
Would that be a cyber stool?
Digi-poo
Ava has a size 9 poop chute … or an Adam's Apple. I can't decide which.
Can't it have both? Must you make us choose?
Now they have a face to go along with the voices in their head.
Kewl!!
Just another day in the Repubnik of Fucktardia.
Is Fucktardia near Texas?
You sir, owe royalties to Sir Phillip Collins.
Oh! Think twice! It's just another day in the repubnik of fucktardidice.
"Ava" is a gif of a doll. The only person they could find that actually was willing to appear on camera on the TP's behalf.
"Ava's" random,slightly spasmodic movements remind me of Joe Cocker, except not interesting.
She looks like Katie Sagal.
But smells like Ed O'Neill.
And sounds like Steven Seagal in drag…with a brain tumor.
With an extra eye.
Katie Sagal is a liberal Democrat! In 2008, I did a little volunteering for Hopey in 2008 in Billings Montana (talk about hostile territory.) And the coordinator told me that Katie Sagal would be there a couple weeks later to do some door-to-door work. I missed that day, and I was kind of kicking myself for it. I had wanted to bring my Futurama DVD for an autograph.
It's Lucinda Williams.
Too soon (to be Forgotten)?
I can't wait for the Taiwanese CGI version.
You mean this isn't it?
There are now some sort of Cantor transfinite sets of strange involved here.
I can.
Man, Michelle Bachmann looks like shit, especially in that second clip.
Well, blind, you know. She doesn't know how weird her arm movements are.
Let's make her look like a Michele Bachmann marionette, but with Claude Rains' nose from "The Invisible Man."
How many points do I get if I run over her with my virtual automobile????
You should Leaf® her alone.
Can you slay it with your sword from World of Warcraft ? I think it is some sort of Ice Dragon.
All of them.
"This is the kind of inovation (sic) this country used to have."
Yep, Rev BJ, our country was founded on shitty pixelated cartoons.
Hey, CrunchyKnee! Those shitty pixelated cartoons spent their whole lives fighting against slavery!
In the late 1700's!
Chronological history is just one theory.
From the comments in the guestbook, it appears that the same spelling and grammer issues we have come to identify with teabaggers are alive and well.
grammar
Oh ha, teabagged myself. And that's hard to do.
Spelling?
Aaron?
That was me as 'BEN Q.'. Did I do goodz?
Yes, grasshopper
I can't wait ot see if my comment in their guestbook is steathy enuff to evade there snark detector.
Sheesh. Even Contessa Brewer doesn't squirm around that much.
Contessa could squirm around w/me any time she wants to.
Hear, hear.
She does when you try to chloroform her.
Don't ask.
Yeah, but just for a couple of minutes, probably.
What. The. Fuck.
Does Ava have some sort of embarrassing "feminine itch" issue? She can't seem to stand still. Couldn't they at least have programmed in the occasional crotch-scratch, so the poor wench could get some relief?
Seems the Teatards have thrown some yeast into their brew.
Could be vajayjay hookworms too.
Don't you mean " Double u, tee, eff"?
At first I considered that possibility, but the idea that it was a remote controlled device seems so much more diginified: Don't they make an autodiddler? Remote control butterfly or something?
She looks like she needs to lay her landing strip down and clean up some land barnacles using one of those those motorized boot cleaners in a squat position.
This is the kind of inovation this country used to have
Tea Party: The brightest future is in the past!
They seem to see 20/20 through rose-colored glasses. In terms of acres, most of Redstatesyvania, including Michele's Minnesota, was obtained through the Louisiana Purchase, about which the Federalists howled and howled about out-of-control spending and debt and how Jefferson was constitutionally way out-of-bounds. Here's hoping that the Teatards enjoy the same organizational success as the Federalists.
Maybe we can return it to France, for a refund, or at least, store credit? Everybody wins: the Teatards get to make us return to an idiot's fantasy version of "Constitutional Government", and we get to get rid of teatards by sending them to the country where they'd be the most miserable (well, except for France's brown-people-hating, of course).
I am not sure we could even get a store credit. The Purchase has been worn.
Yeah but now that they've found out about TJ's views on nullification they lurve him.
What is it with teabaggers? None of them seem to be able to look at cameras. Are they afraid it will steal their souls or something?
You mean it doesn't?
Souls? What souls?
I think lizard people are sometimes detectable in photos. It's too risky for them to be pictured.
Ava's got one fierce pee pee dance.
You beat me to it! When our kids were small, if either of them swayed back and forth like that we'd be heading for the bathroom immediately!
At first I thought is was the 15 year old Natalie Portman doing "Cabaret."
Watching her made want to go pee. Seriously.
Needs more anvils or pianos dropping on her.
Si. Where is señor Coyote when we need him?
I think ACME closed up its domestic operations and is now solely providing such things (especially their line of road-based explosives) to the desert dwellers in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Piano on zombie, kill of the week.
WOW! The Tea Party spent the big bucks on the new Commodore c-64.
Do you think they be interested in upgrading to an Amiga 1000?
That doesn't even come to a TI Calcultor circa 1974
The Koch Bros only buy the best
Well, her eyes move more than Michelle Bachmann's, so that's a point in this video's favor.
Is that Sarah Palin's "Ava" tard?
QUIT bringing me Downs, but that is a retard strong comment.
Nah…too skinny. More like "Lara Croft and the Legend of Death Panels."
Methinks Rev. Beaver needs some help filling out that guest book.
Who's with me?
Tried. Seems only approved guests can sign the guest book.
This does not begin to approach Fox News in crazy quotient. Its Tea Party bona fides are in serious question:
1. The voice is that of an African-American, yet all three of the Tea Party's AA members have alibis.
2. There is no hatred for Obama worthy of the TP brand, and several points in his speech are actually praised
3. While stupid, it possesses hints of empiricism and respect for democratic deliberation — not TP style.
4. The swaying figure is inexplicable.
The swaying figure IS explicable- and Rush is gonna call her out on it and make fun of her.
The ava-tard was crafted by an African-American woman who seems to teach ethics, of all things, at New Brunswick Theological Seminary.
I'd soooo virtually pork her!
Slogan: "Imaginary News Delivered By Imaginary People."
A step up from Fux.
"About imagined offenses against what we're pretty sure should be in the Constitution"
Are you sure Fox hasn't trademarked that yet?
Needs more tentacle sex.
Too late, what do you think caused the wide stance and tremors?
Bad news — Ava's been exposed as a liberal plant and has been fired after eviscerating Sarah Palin with a series of gotcha questions about what a moose is and how its meat is cooked.
Why is the ghost of Michael Jackson voicing the animatrix?
Well, his career is in Limbo.
to prove that teabaggers aren't racists, silly!
I thought it was to show their love of children.
Finally, a way to get information for people who think that FOX News is not biased enough, but don't want to visit Townhall, Redstate, Drudge, Stormfront or Newsmax.
Don't forget Wing Nut Daily.
Please, can't I forget World Net Daily? And the rest of them? Pretty Please?
Well, shoot! It says my comment "may need to be approved before it is displayed" on that there guestbook thang.
Mine too! Why does the Nonpartisan Arm of the Tea Party hate free speech?
You didn't put in enough spelling errors.
Guys, Ava is the admin. She has to come down first before she can approve your comments. And from the looks of it, she will be sleeping in until 3 tomorrow afternoon.
Mine says it's been submitted. Rats. It's full of sneaky goodness, too
Going to go register as Republican so I can vote for this GIF for President 2012.
Don't do it. After the election she will turn out to be a GIF in JPG clothing just like all the others!!!!
You mean a GINO?
Is she a GIF or a GILF?
Ava/Pawlenty 2012!
I found Ava to be more lifelike than either Michele Bachmann or Sarah "Duh Gov'Nuh" Palin.
Overall, however, that's the worst annimation I've seen since "Johnny Quest."
What about Clutch Cargo?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFnLirXjjto
Or Crusader Rabbit?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3hHQvkUhJo
Except "Crusader Rabbit" was funny. Paleo-Rocky'n'Bullwinkle.
Poo-litzer prize journalism.
Shanaynay
Oh no you DI-INT.
V'Lanta'la'mana'ma'nisha.
(you so bad, i thumb you up anyways.)
The payoff comes at the end of the clip, amirite? Also, it helps to know some of the gay yutes to understand their unique culture.
Besides being complete morons with no grounding in history or science, the bagger bit about being "non-partisan" always cracks me up.
90% or more of these clowns voted for G. W. Bush twice. After that epic debacle, they burned their uniforms, put on their funny hats, and doubled down on the same lame shit.
~
They adopted the term "non-partisan" to deflect the racism charges that they were getting from showing up at rallies with signs depicting Obama as an African Witch Doctor or "LYNCH THE N*GGER!" on them.
It's kind of like Steve King and his "urban" term.
Its non-partisan news for a particular party.
Their logic would make fantastic pretzels.
I came for the ca. 1998-style 3d animation production values. I stayed for the lip-synching work. The attention to detail was really there. Top drawer all around. Unfortunately the camera bobbing back and forth as if it was attached to the Sword of Damocles made me motion sick and I yurped. But I was loving freedom as I did it.
Freeeeedom!! is the new Buuuuick!!!!
I liked Ava better when she was voicing Disney's Song of the South on record back in the '70s.
Ava….Ava….I'm over here….Ava….look over…AVA!
Cartoon news for people whose understanding of politics and history ended in the fifth grade. It makes perfect sense.
What ever it is Lucus has got heavy competition now.
Ava sounds suspiciously like Mavis Beacon.
Just sayin'.
Anybody remember Max Headroom? He was a 'virtual person' like this, only in the past and much better. This proves that the future is the past, only with more poop.
How could remember Max Headroom? That show was on for like 1/2 a season. And yes I was one of the 6 people who watched it. Now if I can only find the other 4.
Max Hedroom made most of his money from product endorsements. Oh and he was President from '81 to '89.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWVqRxbZtHY&fe…
I watched at least some of it! I like Matt Frewer. I even liked his short-lived sitcom "Doctor Doctor" – I liked his comedic delivery.
Remember Max Headroom starring with The Art Of Noise?
Rented the set from Netflix and made my kid watch it. He said he thought it "explained a lot"
Your kid needs a team of psychoanalists.
DarkHelmet: Shit even in the future nothing works.
Looks like a tea bagger has a Second Life account. Sad, really sad.
He's getting ahead of himself then.
It's like Sesame Street for teabaggers!
Sesame Street is too advanced for these twats.
I wanna see Wonkbot and Eva meet….IN THE THUNDERDOME!!!!
But will there be news reports about how everything, everywhere, everywhen is UNCONTITUTIONAL, except for child labor and gold?
Awww, did the Teabagger party find the Simms 10 years after they stopped being any good?
They would have been better off using Pinocchio to read the news. He would have moved more smoothly, but reading the Tea Party news would have made his nose grow out of the camera frame.
Alabama would take issue with that assertion, if anyone in Alabama could understand it.
So, I see Ava Braun has a new job, that's nice…
Aren't they all "news networks for the insane?
So obviously a tranny.
Ava must have learned those moves from BachmannPalin. Faaaaaarrrrrrouuuuuuuuuttttt!
WTF?! Why did I have to find this on huffpo and not here?! http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/26/michele-…
Must be the heavy, wet snow that incapacitated DC and our Wonkette-übereditors.
Hanx, Chet!
~
"Palin didn't hurt this much."
That line taken out of context is scary as heck.
I luv her.
(Sara, not Michele.)
"Big, black, beautiful"…..
Troglodyte Party! Start pronouncing it right. What's all this "Tee" Party crap?
What's up with that hard "T"?
Who here believes that the voice is actually that of an Urban American? Is sounds more like a poor mockery by someone who does not routinely communicate with Urban Persons.
It sounds like a guy whose nads haven't decended trying to sound like a woman.
It's somewhere between a fairly good text-to-speech program and a very heavily dosing voiceover actor who really needed the work.
No. Fucking. Way.
"America will no longer be the place where dreams come true." Sure thing, Tinkerbell.
Why am I not surprised they are busty women who sort of look like Sarah Mama Grizzly Bear Lipstick on a Pitbull Palin?
Release….the TARDBOT!!!!
why is this a thing? and why did wonkette share it? you know, herpes is a thing, too. doesn't mean you should share it w/ everybody.
That poor virtual newscaster has digital Parkinson's
The first video cured me of any desire to see the second one.
An avatar with untreated tardive dyskenesia, doing its best Shaneequa vox, saying, well, not much.
Now THAT's change we can believe in, my friends!
Mike said: January 27th, 2011 1:17 pm
Great work! These TEA PARTY NEWS BRIEFS really fit me. Nice and snug, and no LEAKS, LIBERALS!!!
Man, that Koch Brothers money buys some fancy looking productions.
(jamming a stick up one's ass does not cure hemorrhoids, even if one is not really alive.)
Perhaps she sways because she just this morning received liposuction and stood up from her scooter for the first time in 12 years.
If teabaggers are anything, it is non-partisan. All the politicians they support just happen to be Repbulicans. And white, at least on the inside.
Lara Croft and the Legend of Death Panels.
Evan Warren said: January 27th, 2011 2:30 pm
This is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, only tru Patriots need apply.
How come they won't print my Krauthammer joke?
Looks like Ava is ready to drop a cyber baby. And by baby I mean poop.
If I'm going to watch another leaked Avatar 2 clip, they best be fuckin'.
Ava dear, have something to eat, maybe a sandwich or a piece of cake. You might stop shaking and twitching like that.
OT
As if Arizona doesn't have enough with national interest murder trials going on, the teatarded co-founder of the Minutemen American Defense, Shawna Forde is on trial this week for the murder of a Messican and his 10-year old daughter. The glory of these patriots, the fucking glory.
Never forget who the real victims in this tragedy about a murdered nine year old and her family is.
The teabaggers and Sarah Palin.
Pre-teen girls are apparently a clear and present danger to this country according to teabaggers.
She shot a child in the head, in cold blood, while she pleaded for her life. Fucking monster. But, yeah, let's not worry about hateful rhetoric and the uptick of extremism on the right. It might hurt their fucking feelings should we point out the number of murders committed by domestic (but white!) terrorists over the last two years. And most of their victims are cops.
I want to hear Ava on the Diane Rehm Show. Just before I blow my brains out.
Make sure you give to your local NPR affiliate…first. You could give online, but you might want to avail yourself of the opportunity to tramatize a membersihip volunteer.
Ava must quit using those big words if she hopes to run for Congress as a viable Tea Party candidate. At present, she is only polling 30 percent.
Ava needs to lay off the eyeliner … is she supposed to be a person or a racoon?
Hey, it works for Bachmann.
OT But, stop me if you have heard this, Rahm has been cleared to run for Mayor by the Illinois Supreme Court!
Did Emanuel have Horace Rumpole as his barrister?
I loved those shows.
We as well. Have a great photo of she who must be obeyed, my bride, in front of the Old Bailey.
Wait…that WASN'T a spoof? What the fuck?
vocals by Muhammad Ali a couple of years after the really bad fights like the Thrilla in Manila
I'm gonna cruise like a rascal and slobber like a moron!
Parkinson's is a hell of a disease.
The Tea Party actually expects me to masturbate to this?
Okkaay. Briefs not boxers, whitey tighteys. Excellent choice teabaggers.
I still prefer Erin from Esurance, if Flo isn't available.
Pee bandit exposed!
Okkaay. Briefs not boxers…..Whitey Tighty Teabaggers again prove that they are on the cutting edge. I mean what is next? Swallowing Goldfish?? Piling into Phone Booths? Racoon Coats?
This isn't real. It's some asshole playing sims.
In the not too distant future,
I can imagine Wonkbot TSA-1138 and Ava having their own CNN teevee show:
Wonker and Schitzer?
Good News Everyone! Morons have figured out teh Internets!
Question to the mannequin with Parkensin's: "Why does the Tea Party oppose immigration reform?"
I eagerly await their hard-hitting piece on Representative Paul Ryan's death pan–er "privatization" of Medicare proposal.
x
"I'm User-of-Owls and I have a fragile ego."
Hi User
"It's been minutes since I checked my P, but I'm still emotionally crushed by the fact that even though I've faithfully devoted myself to Wonkette, and Wonkette alone, since the day long ago Yellow Editor (Lat) responded to me, I am lagging and even dropping in the esteem of my fellows."
What do you mean, User?
"Long time and well respected commenters are saddled with embarrassingly low p scores, while relative newcomers with ill-phrased, derivative and/or simply dull comments have been lavished with pee. It's just demoralizing."
So, User, you're just a whiny baby?
"No! Well, I mean…Sure, ok"
I know, right? Maybe it's those surreptitious sidetrips to redhate or bigwhatever…
Did George Romero direct this? ? With the swaying and the dark around her eyes she looks hungry for brains.
I know, I know…..too easy.
Will they only cover the news from 1787 and before?
Only 3/5ths of it.
She's got a hell of a gap, but she sounds like Aunt Jemima.
I was wondering what people were doing with Second Life these days.
I can't decided who is taking too much LSD: me or the people who made this.
Ava looks like a more attractive, wide-stance version of Orly Taitz. I guess that appeals to 'baggers. But why put her on the set of 21 Jump Street?
A government of the Sims, by the Sims, for the Sims…
Can't wait for Rush "Jabber the Gut" Limbaugh to laugh her to scorn for exaggerating her palsy just to get sympathy. BTW, she looks a lot like Ben "Mr. Potatoe Head" Quayle in drag, coincidence? I think not.
In the non partisan anti sky pirates capitalistic pig-dog news;
Here's Tom with the weather.
These people definitely are not in touch with the mother ship.
Hey I thought Glenn Beck was the yea olde teabagger action news man what with him being so nonpartisan and all. I mean his SOU coverage amounted to raping a bunny while weeping about "5 pilars of faith" or something….I mean in the teabagger world, THAT IS THEIR NEWS.
How will they depict Rand Paul's hair?
Hopefully, they'll depict it as a ball of vipers. Either that, or a badly cooked kettle of spaghetti.
Ok, my first impressions – WTF? Seriously, Ava looks like she has Parkinsons. She's is drawn looking like a middle eastern man in drag but she/he has a black woman's voice. The cadence of her speech is good though. She speaks like she is trying to educate a classroom full of slow 5 year olds which is about right for the Teabagger audience she/he's aimed at.
THAT COMPUTER LADY IS A MAAAAAAAAAAAAAN.
They gave her a black lady's voice, speaking in a fashion as though her audience were made up of three year olds. And what's with the continuous movement of her pelvis? She looks like she really, really has to pee.
How did they manage to shoot that STOU "response" with a bank security camera?
Who tagged the movement disorders clinic?
Ava is either trying to dance like Elaine, or has a yeast infection. Or both.
Bet you a nickel it involves a trip to Tijuana
My downstairs neighbor in 1992-94 was, among other things, a semi-professional dominatrix. It's a little amazing what men will pay a woman to do.
In Portland prostitute lingo a "piss on" or "piss on you" is a money making proposition for those want to pay for that kind of strange.
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