OH C'MON  3:29 pm January 27, 2011

‘Tea Party News Brief’: The New News Network For the Insane

by Jack Stuef


Yeah, that’s exactly what it looks like. Tea Party News Brief, starring Ava. Because Fox News seemed suspiciously lucid and organized.

Sufficiently urban. Needs more virtual furry sex. And Ron Paul.

Oh good, there’s a guestbook!

SOTU.

[YouTube via Right Wing Watch]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 228 comments }

smokefilledroommate January 27, 2011 at 3:34 pm

'Ava' looks as if she's gonna squat and take a shit on the 'floor'.

PsycWench January 27, 2011 at 3:36 pm

I was thinking more that she's practicing the urination-while-standing position. You never know when you might pick up some extra money that way.

teebob2000 January 27, 2011 at 4:36 pm

Go to commercial, for Gods sake, she gonna piss herself!

Radiotherapy January 27, 2011 at 4:50 pm

Would that be a cyber stool?

smokefilledroommate January 27, 2011 at 6:25 pm

Digi-poo

Buzz Feedback January 27, 2011 at 3:37 pm

Ava has a size 9 poop chute … or an Adam's Apple. I can't decide which.

Negropolis January 28, 2011 at 3:32 am

Can't it have both? Must you make us choose?

JoshuaNorton January 27, 2011 at 3:37 pm

Now they have a face to go along with the voices in their head.

Kewl!!

x111e7thst January 27, 2011 at 3:37 pm

Just another day in the Repubnik of Fucktardia.

nounverb911 January 27, 2011 at 3:54 pm

Is Fucktardia near Texas?

petehammer January 27, 2011 at 4:57 pm

You sir, owe royalties to Sir Phillip Collins.

Oh! Think twice! It's just another day in the repubnik of fucktardidice.

bureaucrap January 27, 2011 at 3:38 pm

"Ava" is a gif of a doll. The only person they could find that actually was willing to appear on camera on the TP's behalf.

OneDollarJuana January 27, 2011 at 3:38 pm

"Ava's" random,slightly spasmodic movements remind me of Joe Cocker, except not interesting.

jjdaddyo January 27, 2011 at 3:39 pm

She looks like Katie Sagal.

smokefilledroommate January 27, 2011 at 4:02 pm

But smells like Ed O'Neill.

Radiotherapy January 27, 2011 at 4:52 pm

And sounds like Steven Seagal in drag…with a brain tumor.

Ruhe January 27, 2011 at 4:56 pm

With an extra eye.

HedonismBot January 27, 2011 at 5:44 pm

Katie Sagal is a liberal Democrat! In 2008, I did a little volunteering for Hopey in 2008 in Billings Montana (talk about hostile territory.) And the coordinator told me that Katie Sagal would be there a couple weeks later to do some door-to-door work. I missed that day, and I was kind of kicking myself for it. I had wanted to bring my Futurama DVD for an autograph.

jim89048 January 27, 2011 at 11:38 pm

It's Lucinda Williams.
Too soon (to be Forgotten)?

SexySmurf January 27, 2011 at 3:39 pm

I can't wait for the Taiwanese CGI version.

HedonismBot January 27, 2011 at 5:39 pm

You mean this isn't it?

Rarian Rakista January 28, 2011 at 8:15 pm

There are now some sort of Cantor transfinite sets of strange involved here.

Negropolis January 28, 2011 at 9:48 pm

I can.

elviouslyqueer January 27, 2011 at 3:39 pm

Man, Michelle Bachmann looks like shit, especially in that second clip.

revmod January 27, 2011 at 11:06 pm

Well, blind, you know. She doesn't know how weird her arm movements are.

DDDintensified January 27, 2011 at 3:39 pm

Let's make her look like a Michele Bachmann marionette, but with Claude Rains' nose from "The Invisible Man."

jus_wonderin January 27, 2011 at 3:40 pm

How many points do I get if I run over her with my virtual automobile????

Radiotherapy January 27, 2011 at 4:54 pm

You should Leaf® her alone.

Rarian Rakista January 28, 2011 at 8:16 pm

Can you slay it with your sword from World of Warcraft ? I think it is some sort of Ice Dragon.

LetUsBray January 28, 2011 at 11:44 pm

All of them.

CrunchyKnee January 27, 2011 at 3:42 pm

"This is the kind of inovation (sic) this country used to have."

Yep, Rev BJ, our country was founded on shitty pixelated cartoons.

OneDollarJuana January 27, 2011 at 3:51 pm

Hey, CrunchyKnee! Those shitty pixelated cartoons spent their whole lives fighting against slavery!

ChessieNefercat January 27, 2011 at 5:57 pm

In the late 1700's!

Rarian Rakista January 28, 2011 at 8:17 pm

Chronological history is just one theory.

Boredw/Gravity January 27, 2011 at 3:42 pm

From the comments in the guestbook, it appears that the same spelling and grammer issues we have come to identify with teabaggers are alive and well.

OneDollarJuana January 27, 2011 at 3:51 pm

grammar

Boredw/Gravity January 27, 2011 at 4:18 pm

Oh ha, teabagged myself. And that's hard to do.

Ducksworthy January 27, 2011 at 5:06 pm

Spelling?

WriteyWriterton January 28, 2011 at 5:01 pm

Aaron?

smokefilledroommate January 27, 2011 at 5:20 pm

That was me as 'BEN Q.'. Did I do goodz?

Terry January 27, 2011 at 5:58 pm

Yes, grasshopper

cheaphits January 28, 2011 at 6:11 am

I can't wait ot see if my comment in their guestbook is steathy enuff to evade there snark detector.

not that Dewey January 27, 2011 at 3:43 pm

Sheesh. Even Contessa Brewer doesn't squirm around that much.

V572625694 January 27, 2011 at 4:29 pm

Contessa could squirm around w/me any time she wants to.

not that Dewey January 27, 2011 at 4:39 pm

Hear, hear.

teebob2000 January 27, 2011 at 4:41 pm

She does when you try to chloroform her.

Don't ask.

not that Dewey January 27, 2011 at 4:48 pm

Yeah, but just for a couple of minutes, probably.

YasserArraFeck January 27, 2011 at 3:43 pm

What. The. Fuck.
Does Ava have some sort of embarrassing "feminine itch" issue? She can't seem to stand still. Couldn't they at least have programmed in the occasional crotch-scratch, so the poor wench could get some relief?

weejee January 27, 2011 at 3:47 pm

Seems the Teatards have thrown some yeast into their brew.

Radiotherapy January 27, 2011 at 4:56 pm

Could be vajayjay hookworms too.

starfanglednut January 27, 2011 at 5:28 pm

Don't you mean " Double u, tee, eff"?

Rotundo_ January 27, 2011 at 5:40 pm

At first I considered that possibility, but the idea that it was a remote controlled device seems so much more diginified: Don't they make an autodiddler? Remote control butterfly or something?

Rarian Rakista January 28, 2011 at 8:20 pm

She looks like she needs to lay her landing strip down and clean up some land barnacles using one of those those motorized boot cleaners in a squat position.

doxastic January 27, 2011 at 3:44 pm

This is the kind of inovation this country used to have
Tea Party: The brightest future is in the past!

weejee January 27, 2011 at 3:53 pm

They seem to see 20/20 through rose-colored glasses. In terms of acres, most of Redstatesyvania, including Michele's Minnesota, was obtained through the Louisiana Purchase, about which the Federalists howled and howled about out-of-control spending and debt and how Jefferson was constitutionally way out-of-bounds. Here's hoping that the Teatards enjoy the same organizational success as the Federalists.

mumbly_joe January 27, 2011 at 4:04 pm

Maybe we can return it to France, for a refund, or at least, store credit? Everybody wins: the Teatards get to make us return to an idiot's fantasy version of "Constitutional Government", and we get to get rid of teatards by sending them to the country where they'd be the most miserable (well, except for France's brown-people-hating, of course).

jus_wonderin January 27, 2011 at 5:11 pm

I am not sure we could even get a store credit. The Purchase has been worn.

trampndirtdown January 27, 2011 at 10:06 pm

Yeah but now that they've found out about TJ's views on nullification they lurve him.

nounverb911 January 27, 2011 at 3:44 pm

What is it with teabaggers? None of them seem to be able to look at cameras. Are they afraid it will steal their souls or something?

emmelemm January 27, 2011 at 3:50 pm

You mean it doesn't?

Geminisunmars January 28, 2011 at 1:49 am

Souls? What souls?

cheaphits January 28, 2011 at 6:15 am

I think lizard people are sometimes detectable in photos. It's too risky for them to be pictured.

doxastic January 27, 2011 at 3:46 pm

Ava's got one fierce pee pee dance.

Tundra Grifter January 27, 2011 at 3:57 pm

You beat me to it! When our kids were small, if either of them swayed back and forth like that we'd be heading for the bathroom immediately!

Barrelhse January 27, 2011 at 4:15 pm

At first I thought is was the 15 year old Natalie Portman doing "Cabaret."

Left_Leftie January 28, 2011 at 1:00 am

Watching her made want to go pee. Seriously.

Monsieur_Grumpe January 27, 2011 at 3:46 pm

Needs more anvils or pianos dropping on her.

weejee January 27, 2011 at 3:57 pm

Si. Where is señor Coyote when we need him?

Gleem_McShineys January 27, 2011 at 6:34 pm

I think ACME closed up its domestic operations and is now solely providing such things (especially their line of road-based explosives) to the desert dwellers in Iraq and Afghanistan.

keepem_sikanpor January 27, 2011 at 8:29 pm

Piano on zombie, kill of the week.

baconzgood January 27, 2011 at 3:46 pm

WOW! The Tea Party spent the big bucks on the new Commodore c-64.

Monsieur_Grumpe January 27, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Do you think they be interested in upgrading to an Amiga 1000?

Beowoof January 27, 2011 at 5:48 pm

That doesn't even come to a TI Calcultor circa 1974

eatingraoul January 27, 2011 at 7:35 pm

The Koch Bros only buy the best

OneYieldRegular January 27, 2011 at 3:47 pm

Well, her eyes move more than Michelle Bachmann's, so that's a point in this video's favor.

Extemporanus January 27, 2011 at 3:49 pm

Is that Sarah Palin's "Ava" tard?

Radiotherapy January 27, 2011 at 4:59 pm

QUIT bringing me Downs, but that is a retard strong comment.

HolyMaracas January 27, 2011 at 5:48 pm

Nah…too skinny. More like "Lara Croft and the Legend of Death Panels."

Worthly Wokette Skum January 27, 2011 at 3:50 pm

Methinks Rev. Beaver needs some help filling out that guest book.

Who's with me?

GOPCrusher January 27, 2011 at 4:18 pm

Tried. Seems only approved guests can sign the guest book.

aguacatero January 27, 2011 at 3:50 pm

This does not begin to approach Fox News in crazy quotient. Its Tea Party bona fides are in serious question:

1. The voice is that of an African-American, yet all three of the Tea Party's AA members have alibis.
2. There is no hatred for Obama worthy of the TP brand, and several points in his speech are actually praised
3. While stupid, it possesses hints of empiricism and respect for democratic deliberation — not TP style.
4. The swaying figure is inexplicable.

Barrelhse January 27, 2011 at 4:12 pm

The swaying figure IS explicable- and Rush is gonna call her out on it and make fun of her.

gvvt January 27, 2011 at 11:42 pm

The ava-tard was crafted by an African-American woman who seems to teach ethics, of all things, at New Brunswick Theological Seminary.

baconzgood January 27, 2011 at 3:51 pm

I'd soooo virtually pork her!

bumfug January 27, 2011 at 3:51 pm

Slogan: "Imaginary News Delivered By Imaginary People."

Ducksworthy January 27, 2011 at 5:11 pm

A step up from Fux.

DoktorZoom January 27, 2011 at 5:33 pm

"About imagined offenses against what we're pretty sure should be in the Constitution"

Beowoof January 27, 2011 at 5:50 pm

Are you sure Fox hasn't trademarked that yet?

MinAgain January 27, 2011 at 3:53 pm

Needs more tentacle sex.

Gleem_McShineys January 27, 2011 at 6:41 pm

Too late, what do you think caused the wide stance and tremors?

SayItWithWookies January 27, 2011 at 3:54 pm

Bad news — Ava's been exposed as a liberal plant and has been fired after eviscerating Sarah Palin with a series of gotcha questions about what a moose is and how its meat is cooked.

Chet Kincaid January 27, 2011 at 3:54 pm

Why is the ghost of Michael Jackson voicing the animatrix?

jus_wonderin January 27, 2011 at 3:57 pm

Well, his career is in Limbo.

__kth__ January 27, 2011 at 6:35 pm

to prove that teabaggers aren't racists, silly!

cheaphits January 28, 2011 at 6:19 am

I thought it was to show their love of children.

LionelHutzEsq January 27, 2011 at 3:55 pm

Finally, a way to get information for people who think that FOX News is not biased enough, but don't want to visit Townhall, Redstate, Drudge, Stormfront or Newsmax.

Tundra Grifter January 27, 2011 at 3:59 pm

Don't forget Wing Nut Daily.

LionelHutzEsq January 27, 2011 at 6:12 pm

Please, can't I forget World Net Daily? And the rest of them? Pretty Please?

metamarcisf January 27, 2011 at 3:56 pm

Well, shoot! It says my comment "may need to be approved before it is displayed" on that there guestbook thang.

elviouslyqueer January 27, 2011 at 4:01 pm

Mine too! Why does the Nonpartisan Arm of the Tea Party hate free speech?

Jukesgrrl January 27, 2011 at 4:03 pm

You didn't put in enough spelling errors.

jus_wonderin January 27, 2011 at 4:05 pm

Guys, Ava is the admin. She has to come down first before she can approve your comments. And from the looks of it, she will be sleeping in until 3 tomorrow afternoon.

Terry January 27, 2011 at 6:00 pm

Mine says it's been submitted. Rats. It's full of sneaky goodness, too

i_like_tigers January 27, 2011 at 3:57 pm

Going to go register as Republican so I can vote for this GIF for President 2012.

jus_wonderin January 27, 2011 at 4:01 pm

Don't do it. After the election she will turn out to be a GIF in JPG clothing just like all the others!!!!

genxr January 27, 2011 at 4:33 pm

You mean a GINO?

GunTotingProgressive January 27, 2011 at 4:34 pm

Is she a GIF or a GILF?

BeWoot January 27, 2011 at 11:44 pm

Ava/Pawlenty 2012!

Tundra Grifter January 27, 2011 at 3:58 pm

I found Ava to be more lifelike than either Michele Bachmann or Sarah "Duh Gov'Nuh" Palin.

Overall, however, that's the worst annimation I've seen since "Johnny Quest."

Monsieur_Grumpe January 27, 2011 at 4:03 pm
OneDollarJuana January 27, 2011 at 4:16 pm
V572625694 January 27, 2011 at 4:32 pm

Except "Crusader Rabbit" was funny. Paleo-Rocky'n'Bullwinkle.

baconzgood January 27, 2011 at 3:59 pm

Poo-litzer prize journalism.

DerrickWildcat January 27, 2011 at 4:01 pm

Shanaynay

elviouslyqueer January 27, 2011 at 4:14 pm
SheriffRoscoe January 27, 2011 at 5:17 pm
slappypaddy January 27, 2011 at 5:31 pm

(you so bad, i thumb you up anyways.)

SheriffRoscoe January 27, 2011 at 5:39 pm

The payoff comes at the end of the clip, amirite? Also, it helps to know some of the gay yutes to understand their unique culture.

ifthethunderdontgetya January 27, 2011 at 4:01 pm

Besides being complete morons with no grounding in history or science, the bagger bit about being "non-partisan" always cracks me up.

90% or more of these clowns voted for G. W. Bush twice. After that epic debacle, they burned their uniforms, put on their funny hats, and doubled down on the same lame shit.
~

GOPCrusher January 27, 2011 at 5:57 pm

They adopted the term "non-partisan" to deflect the racism charges that they were getting from showing up at rallies with signs depicting Obama as an African Witch Doctor or "LYNCH THE N*GGER!" on them.
It's kind of like Steve King and his "urban" term.

kenlayisalive January 27, 2011 at 9:53 pm

Its non-partisan news for a particular party.

Their logic would make fantastic pretzels.

mrblifil January 27, 2011 at 4:01 pm

I came for the ca. 1998-style 3d animation production values. I stayed for the lip-synching work. The attention to detail was really there. Top drawer all around. Unfortunately the camera bobbing back and forth as if it was attached to the Sword of Damocles made me motion sick and I yurped. But I was loving freedom as I did it.

jus_wonderin January 27, 2011 at 5:04 pm

Freeeeedom!! is the new Buuuuick!!!!

CapnFatback January 27, 2011 at 4:01 pm

I liked Ava better when she was voicing Disney's Song of the South on record back in the '70s.

MistaEko January 27, 2011 at 4:02 pm

Ava….Ava….I'm over here….Ava….look over…AVA!

EdFlintstone January 27, 2011 at 4:03 pm

Cartoon news for people whose understanding of politics and history ended in the fifth grade. It makes perfect sense.

baconzgood January 27, 2011 at 4:05 pm

What ever it is Lucus has got heavy competition now.

Barrelhse January 27, 2011 at 4:07 pm

Ava sounds suspiciously like Mavis Beacon.
Just sayin'.

LiveToServeYa January 27, 2011 at 4:08 pm

Anybody remember Max Headroom? He was a 'virtual person' like this, only in the past and much better. This proves that the future is the past, only with more poop.

baconzgood January 27, 2011 at 4:28 pm

How could remember Max Headroom? That show was on for like 1/2 a season. And yes I was one of the 6 people who watched it. Now if I can only find the other 4.

genxr January 27, 2011 at 4:32 pm

Max Hedroom made most of his money from product endorsements. Oh and he was President from '81 to '89.

slappypaddy January 27, 2011 at 5:20 pm
thebeatgoeson08 January 27, 2011 at 8:56 pm

I watched at least some of it! I like Matt Frewer. I even liked his short-lived sitcom "Doctor Doctor" – I liked his comedic delivery.

UW8316154 January 28, 2011 at 12:33 am

Remember Max Headroom starring with The Art Of Noise?

DoktorZoom January 27, 2011 at 5:31 pm

Rented the set from Netflix and made my kid watch it. He said he thought it "explained a lot"

baconzgood January 27, 2011 at 10:19 pm

Your kid needs a team of psychoanalists.

Dr_pangloss January 27, 2011 at 8:00 pm

DarkHelmet: Shit even in the future nothing works.

Terry January 27, 2011 at 4:09 pm

Looks like a tea bagger has a Second Life account. Sad, really sad.

SayItWithWookies January 27, 2011 at 6:48 pm

He's getting ahead of himself then.

Rambone January 27, 2011 at 4:11 pm

It's like Sesame Street for teabaggers!

Boredw/Gravity January 27, 2011 at 5:58 pm

Sesame Street is too advanced for these twats.

baconzgood January 27, 2011 at 4:15 pm

I wanna see Wonkbot and Eva meet….IN THE THUNDERDOME!!!!

SmutBoffin January 27, 2011 at 4:16 pm

But will there be news reports about how everything, everywhere, everywhen is UNCONTITUTIONAL, except for child labor and gold?

Redhead January 27, 2011 at 4:20 pm

Awww, did the Teabagger party find the Simms 10 years after they stopped being any good?

WhatTheHeck January 27, 2011 at 4:23 pm

They would have been better off using Pinocchio to read the news. He would have moved more smoothly, but reading the Tea Party news would have made his nose grow out of the camera frame.

V572625694 January 27, 2011 at 4:28 pm

Alabama would take issue with that assertion, if anyone in Alabama could understand it.

ChurchofRealism January 27, 2011 at 4:32 pm

So, I see Ava Braun has a new job, that's nice…

Guppy06 January 27, 2011 at 4:37 pm

Aren't they all "news networks for the insane?

teebob2000 January 27, 2011 at 4:38 pm

So obviously a tranny.

bflrtsplk January 27, 2011 at 4:39 pm

Ava must have learned those moves from BachmannPalin. Faaaaaarrrrrrouuuuuuuuuttttt!

Chet Kincaid January 27, 2011 at 4:47 pm

WTF?! Why did I have to find this on huffpo and not here?! http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/26/michele-

Radiotherapy January 27, 2011 at 5:05 pm

Must be the heavy, wet snow that incapacitated DC and our Wonkette-übereditors.

ifthethunderdontgetya January 27, 2011 at 6:20 pm

Hanx, Chet!
~

Terry January 27, 2011 at 9:15 pm

"Palin didn't hurt this much."

That line taken out of context is scary as heck.

BarackMyWorld January 27, 2011 at 11:18 pm

I luv her.

(Sara, not Michele.)

UW8316154 January 28, 2011 at 12:37 am

"Big, black, beautiful"…..

sportshort January 27, 2011 at 4:49 pm

Troglodyte Party! Start pronouncing it right. What's all this "Tee" Party crap?

wegot2dobetter January 27, 2011 at 4:49 pm

What's up with that hard "T"?

Ducksworthy January 27, 2011 at 5:01 pm

Who here believes that the voice is actually that of an Urban American? Is sounds more like a poor mockery by someone who does not routinely communicate with Urban Persons.

Terry January 27, 2011 at 9:01 pm

It sounds like a guy whose nads haven't decended trying to sound like a woman.

DoktorZoom January 28, 2011 at 1:46 am

It's somewhere between a fairly good text-to-speech program and a very heavily dosing voiceover actor who really needed the work.

imissopus January 27, 2011 at 5:07 pm

No. Fucking. Way.

"America will no longer be the place where dreams come true." Sure thing, Tinkerbell.

lochnessmonster January 27, 2011 at 5:10 pm

Why am I not surprised they are busty women who sort of look like Sarah Mama Grizzly Bear Lipstick on a Pitbull Palin?

DoktorZoom January 27, 2011 at 5:12 pm

Release….the TARDBOT!!!!

indecencycmdr January 27, 2011 at 5:14 pm

why is this a thing? and why did wonkette share it? you know, herpes is a thing, too. doesn't mean you should share it w/ everybody.

Thedongsofwar January 27, 2011 at 5:17 pm

That poor virtual newscaster has digital Parkinson's

lulzmonger January 27, 2011 at 5:19 pm

The first video cured me of any desire to see the second one.
An avatar with untreated tardive dyskenesia, doing its best Shaneequa vox, saying, well, not much.

Now THAT's change we can believe in, my friends!

Crank_Tango January 27, 2011 at 5:23 pm

Mike said: January 27th, 2011 1:17 pm
Great work! These TEA PARTY NEWS BRIEFS really fit me. Nice and snug, and no LEAKS, LIBERALS!!!

Gorillionaire January 27, 2011 at 5:25 pm

Man, that Koch Brothers money buys some fancy looking productions.

slappypaddy January 27, 2011 at 5:26 pm

(jamming a stick up one's ass does not cure hemorrhoids, even if one is not really alive.)

starfanglednut January 27, 2011 at 5:32 pm

Perhaps she sways because she just this morning received liposuction and stood up from her scooter for the first time in 12 years.

HedonismBot January 27, 2011 at 5:36 pm

If teabaggers are anything, it is non-partisan. All the politicians they support just happen to be Repbulicans. And white, at least on the inside.

HolyMaracas January 27, 2011 at 5:39 pm

Lara Croft and the Legend of Death Panels.

metamarcisf January 27, 2011 at 5:42 pm

Evan Warren said: January 27th, 2011 2:30 pm
This is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, only tru Patriots need apply.

How come they won't print my Krauthammer joke?

chowkster January 27, 2011 at 5:48 pm

Looks like Ava is ready to drop a cyber baby. And by baby I mean poop.

salt_bagel January 27, 2011 at 5:49 pm

If I'm going to watch another leaked Avatar 2 clip, they best be fuckin'.

x111e7thst January 27, 2011 at 5:49 pm

Ava dear, have something to eat, maybe a sandwich or a piece of cake. You might stop shaking and twitching like that.

weejee January 27, 2011 at 6:00 pm

OT

As if Arizona doesn't have enough with national interest murder trials going on, the teatarded co-founder of the Minutemen American Defense, Shawna Forde is on trial this week for the murder of a Messican and his 10-year old daughter. The glory of these patriots, the fucking glory.

glamourdammerung January 27, 2011 at 6:27 pm

Never forget who the real victims in this tragedy about a murdered nine year old and her family is.

The teabaggers and Sarah Palin.

Bluestatelibel January 27, 2011 at 6:32 pm

Pre-teen girls are apparently a clear and present danger to this country according to teabaggers.

Madam Killjoy January 27, 2011 at 7:02 pm

She shot a child in the head, in cold blood, while she pleaded for her life. Fucking monster. But, yeah, let's not worry about hateful rhetoric and the uptick of extremism on the right. It might hurt their fucking feelings should we point out the number of murders committed by domestic (but white!) terrorists over the last two years. And most of their victims are cops.

Sheesko January 27, 2011 at 6:05 pm

I want to hear Ava on the Diane Rehm Show. Just before I blow my brains out.

jus_wonderin January 28, 2011 at 10:36 am

Make sure you give to your local NPR affiliate…first. You could give online, but you might want to avail yourself of the opportunity to tramatize a membersihip volunteer.

owhatever January 27, 2011 at 6:07 pm

Ava must quit using those big words if she hopes to run for Congress as a viable Tea Party candidate. At present, she is only polling 30 percent.

Bluestatelibel January 27, 2011 at 6:12 pm

Ava needs to lay off the eyeliner … is she supposed to be a person or a racoon?

jim89048 January 27, 2011 at 6:20 pm

Hey, it works for Bachmann.

Limeylizzie January 27, 2011 at 6:21 pm

OT But, stop me if you have heard this, Rahm has been cleared to run for Mayor by the Illinois Supreme Court!

weejee January 27, 2011 at 6:46 pm

Did Emanuel have Horace Rumpole as his barrister?

trampndirtdown January 27, 2011 at 10:33 pm

I loved those shows.

weejee January 28, 2011 at 8:53 am

We as well. Have a great photo of she who must be obeyed, my bride, in front of the Old Bailey.

DashboardBuddha January 27, 2011 at 6:22 pm

Wait…that WASN'T a spoof? What the fuck?

__kth__ January 27, 2011 at 6:38 pm

vocals by Muhammad Ali a couple of years after the really bad fights like the Thrilla in Manila

DashboardBuddha January 27, 2011 at 7:27 pm

I'm gonna cruise like a rascal and slobber like a moron!

Fare la Volpe January 27, 2011 at 6:59 pm

Parkinson's is a hell of a disease.

gef05 January 27, 2011 at 6:59 pm

The Tea Party actually expects me to masturbate to this?

eatingraoul January 27, 2011 at 7:18 pm

Okkaay. Briefs not boxers, whitey tighteys. Excellent choice teabaggers.

jim89048 January 27, 2011 at 7:22 pm

I still prefer Erin from Esurance, if Flo isn't available.

Pee bandit exposed!

eatingraoul January 27, 2011 at 7:28 pm

Okkaay. Briefs not boxers…..Whitey Tighty Teabaggers again prove that they are on the cutting edge. I mean what is next? Swallowing Goldfish?? Piling into Phone Booths? Racoon Coats?

Janinthepan January 27, 2011 at 7:41 pm

This isn't real. It's some asshole playing sims.

Radiotherapy January 27, 2011 at 7:45 pm

In the not too distant future,
I can imagine Wonkbot TSA-1138 and Ava having their own CNN teevee show:
Wonker and Schitzer?

Dr_pangloss January 27, 2011 at 7:56 pm

Good News Everyone! Morons have figured out teh Internets!

Question to the mannequin with Parkensin's: "Why does the Tea Party oppose immigration reform?"

glamourdammerung January 27, 2011 at 8:09 pm

I eagerly await their hard-hitting piece on Representative Paul Ryan's death pan–er "privatization" of Medicare proposal.

JoshuaNorton January 27, 2011 at 8:15 pm

x

user-of-owls January 27, 2011 at 8:34 pm

"I'm User-of-Owls and I have a fragile ego."

Hi User

"It's been minutes since I checked my P, but I'm still emotionally crushed by the fact that even though I've faithfully devoted myself to Wonkette, and Wonkette alone, since the day long ago Yellow Editor (Lat) responded to me, I am lagging and even dropping in the esteem of my fellows."

What do you mean, User?

"Long time and well respected commenters are saddled with embarrassingly low p scores, while relative newcomers with ill-phrased, derivative and/or simply dull comments have been lavished with pee. It's just demoralizing."

So, User, you're just a whiny baby?

"No! Well, I mean…Sure, ok"

jim89048 January 27, 2011 at 11:48 pm

I know, right? Maybe it's those surreptitious sidetrips to redhate or bigwhatever…

Nopantsmcgee January 27, 2011 at 8:51 pm

Did George Romero direct this? ? With the swaying and the dark around her eyes she looks hungry for brains.

I know, I know…..too easy.

Pragmatist2 January 27, 2011 at 9:49 pm

Will they only cover the news from 1787 and before?

glamourdammerung January 27, 2011 at 10:46 pm

Only 3/5ths of it.

Qatarded January 27, 2011 at 9:57 pm

She's got a hell of a gap, but she sounds like Aunt Jemima.

Rasvar January 27, 2011 at 11:08 pm

I was wondering what people were doing with Second Life these days.

Sassomatic January 27, 2011 at 11:19 pm

I can't decided who is taking too much LSD: me or the people who made this.

seppdecker January 27, 2011 at 11:25 pm

Ava looks like a more attractive, wide-stance version of Orly Taitz. I guess that appeals to 'baggers. But why put her on the set of 21 Jump Street?

DrunkIrishman January 27, 2011 at 11:33 pm

A government of the Sims, by the Sims, for the Sims…

ttommyunger January 27, 2011 at 11:49 pm

Can't wait for Rush "Jabber the Gut" Limbaugh to laugh her to scorn for exaggerating her palsy just to get sympathy. BTW, she looks a lot like Ben "Mr. Potatoe Head" Quayle in drag, coincidence? I think not.

dogscantlookup January 28, 2011 at 1:04 am

In the non partisan anti sky pirates capitalistic pig-dog news;
Here's Tom with the weather.

OldRedneck January 28, 2011 at 1:14 am

These people definitely are not in touch with the mother ship.

Lost_Teabaggers January 28, 2011 at 1:56 am

Hey I thought Glenn Beck was the yea olde teabagger action news man what with him being so nonpartisan and all. I mean his SOU coverage amounted to raping a bunny while weeping about "5 pilars of faith" or something….I mean in the teabagger world, THAT IS THEIR NEWS.

valgal2342 January 28, 2011 at 2:47 am

How will they depict Rand Paul's hair?

Negropolis January 28, 2011 at 3:35 am

Hopefully, they'll depict it as a ball of vipers. Either that, or a badly cooked kettle of spaghetti.

outragedcitizen January 28, 2011 at 9:51 am

Ok, my first impressions – WTF? Seriously, Ava looks like she has Parkinsons. She's is drawn looking like a middle eastern man in drag but she/he has a black woman's voice. The cadence of her speech is good though. She speaks like she is trying to educate a classroom full of slow 5 year olds which is about right for the Teabagger audience she/he's aimed at.

darthclaytor January 28, 2011 at 10:06 am

THAT COMPUTER LADY IS A MAAAAAAAAAAAAAN.

SaintRond January 28, 2011 at 10:15 am

They gave her a black lady's voice, speaking in a fashion as though her audience were made up of three year olds. And what's with the continuous movement of her pelvis? She looks like she really, really has to pee.

Tundra Grifter January 28, 2011 at 10:53 am

How did they manage to shoot that STOU "response" with a bank security camera?

TheMeatmaker January 29, 2011 at 1:36 am

Who tagged the movement disorders clinic?

succalina January 29, 2011 at 10:47 am

Ava is either trying to dance like Elaine, or has a yeast infection. Or both.

Terry January 27, 2011 at 5:52 pm

Bet you a nickel it involves a trip to Tijuana

PsycWench January 27, 2011 at 8:40 pm

My downstairs neighbor in 1992-94 was, among other things, a semi-professional dominatrix. It's a little amazing what men will pay a woman to do.

Rarian Rakista January 28, 2011 at 8:13 pm

In Portland prostitute lingo a "piss on" or "piss on you" is a money making proposition for those want to pay for that kind of strange.

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