Delirious DC Weather Reporter Just Wants His ’15 Inches of Fun’

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It was so cold out on the National Mall last night, we saw a squirrel chewing off his nuts to warm his mouth with the spray of blood. Hey-o. Here is a video clip:

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[Via Washington City Paper]

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

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  • mrblifil

    Wow, he really is the Mandingo President.

  • Barbara_i

    15 inches of Italian fun? It's not that the Italians are bigger, it's that the American women are just tighter. The rest is all in his head.

  • CalamityJames

    Yeah, just throw that thing anywhere. Pick it up. Throw it back down. WTF, also, too.

  • Zvi_Bleindmeis

    You don't need a weatherman to know that there's NOTHING that's white and 15 inches, especially in DC.

    • ttommyunger

      I hear Mitch McConnell's Labia hangs down like a wet Pea Coat Sleeve after a hot shower. At least fifteen inches; I hear he can tie the lips in a knot, and often does.

      • walstib

        Yes, but can he tie 'em in a bow and throw 'em over his shoulder like a Continental Soilder?

      • NorbertsRevenge

        What a remarkable image, thanks.

        • ttommyunger

          I have actually witnessed that feat, performed free-gratis by a stripper in Atlanta just to show off… I can't forget, no matter how hard I try.

      • prommie

        So, what you are saying is, his Vah-Jheen, it hangs like sleeve of wizard?

        • ttommyunger

          And smells of one, as well.

  • HolyMaracas

    Speaking of WTF Moments, Wasilla got ZERO inches of fun last night.

    • Negropolis

      The extreme cold will do that to a man.

  • elviouslyqueer

    So I guess the takeaway from this is that the weatherman wants to be slammed repeatedly in the face by 15 inches of Italian fun, amirite?

    • horsedreamer_1


    • ttommyunger

      He wouldn't find a taker even in a wrinkle-room. Fat, old and stupid would have a hard time even in Jersey.

  • OkieDokieDog

    To paraphrase Jim Jebus Inhofe – If it's snowing there is no global warming. And God said so, so pfffffft.

  • ttommyunger

    Ten percent unemployment and this tired old hack actually has a fucking job? Please tell me he does not earn a paycheck for that shitty schtick.

  • mereoblivion

    DC has reporters who are white and not curvaceously female?

  • Tommmcatt

    Take it from me, 15 inches is not as much fun as it might sound.

  • JustPixelz

    I'll take your word for it. But really, isn't the first inch where all fun is (for the man/top)?

  • MinAgain

    It's not how many inches of fun you have; it's what you do with it that counts.

  • XOhioan

    That reminds me: did anyone else here Rep. Brad Sherman telling an NPR reporter "It's not a new experience to sit next to a Republican. It's not like they're from Mars or Uranus. "

    I did a spit take with my coffee.

  • Limeylizzie

    In my aforementioned slutty days I actually turned a man down because of a freakishly large penis, it had got to the naked in front of a fireplace part and I saw his enormous, oversized , engorged organ and just put my panties back on. True story.

    • prommie

      I admire a lady who has standards, and sticks to them.

    • XOhioan

      Good choice. Most ladies want to save vagina-stretching for babies. And it hurts like fuck then, so why would it feel better going the other direction?

    • Negropolis

      But, but, there are other places it can go…

    • ttommyunger

      Thank you, Limey; I feel better about myself now.

  • Gopherit

    15 inches of italian fun……we're talking all of the male cast of Jersey Shore?

  • ttommyunger

    And you have the labs to work with (shudder).