It seems like only three months ago that Nevada nutbar Sharron Angle was handily defeated by dull Democrat Harry Reid, but Sharron Angle remembers this moment just like it was last November. She remembers, and she knows America remembers, too. She knows that in her loss, what really happened is that all of America stood weeping in salute of Our Flag, with a shotgun, and said to themselves, “Sharron Angle, we would totally vote for you if you were running against a negro.”

Honestly, Sharron Angle in Iowa? And honestly, a reporter and editor writing this story and putting it in a newspaper and on the Internet as if this was a potentially true thing, that Sharron Angle — someone so crazy that she couldn’t even beat Harry Reid, in Nevada, in 2010 — thinks it’s an “option” that she could run for president? Can we please skip straight ahead to 2013?

“I’ll just say I have lots of options for the future, and I’m investigating all my options,” Angle said before a couple hundred people sat down to watch the premiere of “The Genesis Code,” a $5 million film that aims to present a controversial view on religious freedom and on the balancing act between faith and science.

Angle, who nearly beat Senate Majority leader Harry Reid in last year’s highly contested Senate race, promoted the movie as “family values” entertainment.

Oh god. [Des Moines Register]

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  • CalamityJames

    Your attention please:


    That is all.

  • horsedreamer_1

    I'll wait to see the Vivid version of this movie (The Genesis Choad).

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I avoid "family values" entertainment as assiduously as I avoid "family dining" restaurants.

  • Terry

    Oh please please please please let her run.

    Maybe Christine O'Donnell, too.

    • krazyvladimir

      Don't forget Bachman and what's her name from WWF

      • Terry

        And the Northstar grifter, too.

        The Iowa GOP primary is on track to be a full blown freakshow.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          A Ladies-Night freakshow, it seems. Howcome all the Teatarded frontrunners are all from the fairer sex?

          (I'm discounting that Herman Cain fellow, since he has proven something of a success in business, and therefore can't really be considered a complete whackadoodle.)

          • Terry

            Because guys find crazy women inexplicably attractive.

    • mog253

      NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, not the witch again, I can't take it. I'll be in the crowd with a bucket of water!

  • SorosBot

    Des Moines Register, 50%-44% may not be a blowout , but it's a big enough margin that to say Angle "nearly beat" Reid is simply untrue.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      "Nearly beat" = scored higher in a Rasmussen poll some months before election day, apparently.

  • Remember when losers were ashamed of themselves?

    • HedonismBot

      I saw Christine O'Donnell being interviewed about the SOTU speech yesterday because, uh, her opinion… matters?
      Defeat only makes these people stronger. We should've elected Palin in 2008. Her term would be halfway over, and she would've quit by now.

      • baconzgood

        You're right they are like that guy in the Hercules story who got stronger when he was knocked to earth….I forget whathizface's name.

        • Bento

          Antaeus. When knocked down, his strength was restored by his mother, Gaia, the earth-goddess. Hercules defeated him by lifting him up and bear-hugging his ribcage apart.
          There. Now I can say my classics education contributed to a political discussion. Totally worth it.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Better yet, remember when losers graciously accepted their defeat, crawled back into their hole, and were never heard from again? And yes, I'm glaring at you, Snowbilly.

      • undeterredbyreality

        It's pretty hard to "graciously" accept defeat when the concept of grace has been redefined to mean "I'm saved and you're not, so STFU, loser!"

        (pronounced ess-tee-eff–ewe)

      • GOPCrusher

        Oh, I don't know. Bob Dole went on to a rewarding career, shilling boner pills.

    • MoeDeLawn

      Speaking of losing, has there ever been a sorer WINNER than a Rethuglikkkan?

    • justkillmenow

      This is what happened when we started giving out ribbons for participation instead of just trophies to actual winners. Fucking whiny kids…

    • Negropolis

      Yep, right before the "Everybody Wins!/Everbody Gets a (Equally Large) Trophy!" culture took over.

  • Barbara_i

    Am I the only one NOT running for President in 2012? I am hoping that Soros picks me as their Veep candidate.

    • OneDollarJuana

      I'm not running. It's bad for you. Messes up your ankles and knees. I'm rowing for President.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        And I'll be biking for president. By which I mean I'll be biking for exercise, if it ever stops raining here again. Seriously, I'm like, 15 lbs over what I usually weigh in August. I hate this. Nobody wants a puffy president; not after the example Hopey as set for us.

  • HedonismBot

    At one time, I was jealous of Iowa for hosting all the presidential candidates. That ended when I realized they have to host all the presidential candidates.

    • Callyson

      To paraphrase an old saying…
      Poor Iowa. So far from the ocean, so close to the presidential candidates…

  • Weenus299

    I think she said the President is near.

    • ttommyunger

      But she has NOTHING to whip out.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes you don't.

  • angryclownspawn

    Holy shit. Somebody just needs to get raptured up already.

    • mog253

      May 21st! I'm having a Left Behind party on May 22 to go out and grab all the good stuff they left behind!

      • JustPixelz

        I'm in. I can bring nachos and cheese, unless my holier-than-thou neighbor is actually just regular holy and Stays Here.

        • mog253

          Oh, there'll be plenty of stuff left behind here in the red donut hole of a blue state in DE. Cars, houses, etc. I'll miss them. Not.

          • angryclownspawn

            I want to come! I can bring salsa!

          • mog253

            so far we're going to have to loot the booze, but that's okay, my evangelical neighbors love to drink and tell dirty jokes when they're not in church or picketing the local Planned Parenthood office.

          • angryclownspawn

            Well, I would swing by the inlaws place after they get raptured and pick up their liquor, but they quit drinking already so I don't even have that refuge when I visit.

          • mog253

            Similar to the Mormons, I keep a year's supply of Belvedere. They keep food. heh.

  • Bonzos_Bed_Time

    She just wants to be on the same stage as The Sarah when they have those crazy debates.

    That and you know, the $$$$.

  • Allmighty_Manos

    Uh-oh, with Bachmann also potentially in the running, we're looking at a potential split in the uber-paranoid freak wing of the GOP, letting a boring nobody like Mike Pence to sneak on through. We need the freak-show vote united to gurantee a laugh-a-minute 2012 election campaign.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      With as many candidates we're hearing from, this could be the first Iowa primary/caucus/whatever where the Republican victor has a single-digit vote percentage.

      9% Bachman
      8% Palin
      1% Pawlenty
      8% Cain
      4% Santorum
      7% Angle
      6% Tancredo
      3% Lizard People*
      5% O'Donnell
      4% Spence
      4% Keyes
      6% Barr
      8% Thompson
      6% Cheney, Liz
      3% Cheney, Dick* (deceased)


      and so on…

  • el_donaldo

    Ha! Let it not be said that in the dark last days of our republic that we lacked something to laugh about.

  • baconzgood

    HOORAY FOR CRAZY!!!!! I don't think I can go for a marathon snark like THAT if she throws her hat into the ring.

  • Last night a vial went missing from Utah, and now something vile has escaped from Nevada.

    • jim89048

      We tried to keep her contained, but she's America's problem now.

  • SorosBot

    I like how the description of the movie promoting belief in fairy tales says it deals with "religious discrimination against Christians", something that does not exist in America; but of course dipshit Christians (not all, just the dipshit ones) like to complain about it whenever they are prevented from discriminating against non-Christians.

    While everyone knows Fred Thompson's a dumbass, and I didn't know Ernest Borgnine was still alive, I was very disappointed to see Lance Henriksen is in this; et tu, Bishop?

    • GregComlish

      Yeah, I saw a film like this before. They illustrated systematic prejudice against Christians by going to Marilyn Manson concerts and then asking nose-pierced gothic teens their opinion about traditional Christian values in a snotty, condescending tone. This technique got them a lot of quality footage of angry teen mobs telling them that Christ can go fuck himself. They juxtaposed this footage with racist statements and images from Bull Conner's Birmingham, AL.

      • genxr

        Bull Conner was a notorious liberal, known for repressing white Christians. Just ask Sarah Michele Angle!

    • revmod

      Actors can't all pick their projects all the time. Michael York's Omega Code work doesn't make me like Basil Exposition any less.

    • undeterredbyreality

      The possessive investment in christness.

    • ttommyunger

      Eyes like piss-holes in the snow and a totally disfigured face can only get you so far in Showbiz; ask Gary Bussy.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      But no Kirk Cameron? He's so dreamy.

  • user-of-owls

    I have lots of options for the future

    "When asked whether these options included a presidential run or were just the same old pork belly futures that she's always prattling on about, Angle looked at the reporter with wide eyes and mouth agape for several minutes."

    • genxr

      "…and then quickly ran away through the parking lot."

  • horsedreamer_1

    Would an Angle Presidential primary run be any less formidable than Duncan Hunter's run in '08, or Alan Keyes (multiple times), Tom Tancredo, Elizabeth Dole ('00), or Dan Quayle ('96)?

    I say let her have her fun. Maybe she'll even mosh for Michael Moore (a la Keyes in '00, who netted the coveted Awful Truth endorsement).

  • walstib

    Is that her fluffer to the right? Ewwwwwww…

    You folks owe me a bagel.

  • freakishlywrong

    Good fucking Christ. Which Constitushional amendment will remedy this gorgon from getting any undeserved media attention? She sure as fuck wouldn't talk to them when she WAS RUNNING FOR OFFICE.

    • SaintRond

      My response to this creature is so physically visceral, I knew she looked familiar. I thought maybe she was subconsciously reminding me of some nightmare I had when I was a small child. I didn't realize I was recognizing her on a genetic level – she is a fucking Gorgon.

      • genxr

        Alone she may be a Gorgon, but she can transform into Sarah Michele Angle, the three headed beast which guards the River WTF.

  • philpjfry

    I am reminded of a Gary Treadu quote at a college graduation "The best way to go out in the world is under sedation."

  • I say let the retard run. That way so that most folks outside of Nevada can hate her, too.

  • hollywooddood

    But Sharron Angle doesn't give teabaggers boners like Sarah does, amirite?

    • Sharron's teeth come out at night, if you know what I'm getting at.

      • jim89048

        Like that old Homer and Jethro song:
        ♪♪Her teeth are like the stars above
        because they come out every night…♪♪

    • ttommyunger

      Teabaggers don't get boners, they're lucky to get a traveller; you know, one that's hard except for that middle inch.

      • littlebigdaddy

        What they can't get their socialist Obamrcare to pay for their cialis–just those scooters?

        • ttommyunger

          Actually, the VA does provide it, with a copay; but drugs can only do so much. Morbidly obese diabetics with heart disease are just a bridge too far, I'm afraid.

  • doxastic

    Between the Christofascist yesterday, and Sharron Angle's dogged refusal to acknowledge what the general public thinks of her, I'm starting to think that right-wingers believe a "representative democracy" means "representative of the way I imagine the world to be."

    • Considering that
      1) Most right wingers have a serious authoritarian streak
      2) Many aren't smart
      3) Many have serious arrested emotional development issues aka little kids in fat person trackpants

      I'm not shocked

  • Nixon lost his run for the presidency, lost his bid for governor of California and flamed out in a spectacular (for the time) "You won't have Nixon to kick around anymore".

    And then spent the next six years trying to get people to take him seriously again. Nixon was a red-baiting slimeball, a paranoid schizophrenic whose personality crumbled as his second term spun out of control and a cowardly vindictive bastard.

    But even he knew that when you lose you eat some shit for a while before trying a comeback.

    Angle and the rest are more fucked up than Richard Nixon.

    • And according to Rachel Maddow last night, Nixon, Reagan and especially Eisenhower were far, far to the left of today's Republican Party. She quoted some stuff that Ike said in a SOTU that would have gotten him shot today.

  • Ducksworthy

    Family Values=Buttsecks amirite?

    • Ruhe

      Well, certainly if you're the wife of a Republican congressman you have to value your family very highly to tolerate your husbands habit of buttsecksing strangers and pages.

  • baconzgood

    Apply for the job as editor. I'll lie as a reference!

  • Mumbletypeg

    It's the dawning of a new age of empowerment for conservative women, in the America of their dreams.
    In the America of their dreams,
    Sarah Palin wins the Presidency via Popularity Contest;
    whereas Michele Bachmann wins by scoring the most youtube hits,
    while Sharron Angle, edges out the others by her charm and extra special outspoken-ness! So what if she's a bit behind the loop after the other gals? Ruth Gordon *rawked* in her role as a senior granny-type intimidating the bad guys with her shotgun, so diminutive she stood eye-to-eye with Clint Eastwood's belly button. I'd vote for Ruth Gordon for first she-President, easy.

    Hordes of conservative women who let their men run the show all these generations — if only they'd known how darned simple it really is.

    • Buckminster

      I's gonna rent me a tuxedo so I can look as impotent as this movie!

  • metamarcisf

    The Genesis Code is an impotent movie. It's stars such stars as Fred Dalton Thompson (?!) and 1954 Academy Award winner Ernest Borgnine ("McHale's Navy"). It has been endorsed by Focus on the Family, the Dove Foundation and the Human Fund.

    • ttommyunger

      Impotent, indeed!

  • mavenmaven

    It is important to reference Kelsey Sanders' other film: Gingerdead Man 2: Passion of the Crust (2008). I think I'm in love.

    • genxr

      That movie is brutal. They just kept biting of small pieces for 3 hours. There was frosting everywhere.

  • Beowoof

    I am pretty sure she has the mentally disabled right wing gun nut vote all locked up.

    • mourningnmerica

      Or at least a third of it. You forgot the other two triplets.

  • EleanorG

    We Iowans are in for a shit storm of stupid this primary season.

    • aguacatero

      Thank god you have Steve King to strengthen your immune systems.

    • mourningnmerica

      I just hope that Iowans, seeing sisters three on the stage together, don't think that it is time to reload, get them in the crosshairs and resort to second amendment remedies. Because that would be wrong.

    • GOPCrusher

      Almost enough to make me renew my subscription to the Des Moines Register. Almost.
      I feel sorry for Rehka Basu.

      • EleanorG

        The reason to read the Register, besides Basu, is new columnist John Deeth:

  • SaintRond

    That unspeakable simian creature makes my stomach hurt every time I look at her. Maybe the most repellent and vile fucking human being I've ever laid eyes on. She's so blatantly fucking atrocious in every single department, it's hard to believe that even the Republican "base," was able to embrace her. This shit is the stuff of nightmares. The horror. The horror. The fucking horror.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Who is this "she" you speak of? This description could apply to so many Tea-women.

      • SaintRond

        They're all dreadful, they all make one experience a sinking feeling in their stomach, like one feels hearing the laughter of a schizophrenic. But Sharon Angle takes the prize for awfulness. She truly is a Gorgon.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Oh great — now how is Trig gonna know who to vote for?

  • LiveToServeYa

    I'd advise her to consider 5th amendment solutions. And take it.

  • ttommyunger

    The Press softballs her because they know if they can help her along she will sell their goods for them. If you are in the NewsBiz, you know that disasters are good for business. She is a fucking disaster a minute and does not begin to know it; but the press does.

  • notreelyhelping

    And then, at the first debate, they were all eaten by Mike Huckabee. The end.

  • nounverb911

    Maybe Sue Lowden will run on the "Chicken in every pot" ticket.

  • aguacatero

    Perhaps she's banking on a differently composed electorate, post-Dugway?

  • MinAgain

    That's the beauty of America. Any nutjob can run for President.

  • teebob2000

    I am for this.

  • genxr

    Has nobody built a Chuck Grassley Tweet Translator yet? You can tweet in Klingon, it can be done!

  • genxr

    Here's my translation:

    Iowns strtld by big Nrg.

  • Callyson

    “I’ll just say I have lots of options for the future, and I’m investigating all my options,” Angle said
    OK then…let's add some options to her list:
    1. Go run a chicken farm with what's-her-name
    2. Write a book, commentate brainlessly on FOX, yell on the radio, rinse, repeat
    3. Begin a new life as a music industry executive and promote the punk bands Second Amendment Remedies, Lemon Situation Into Lemonade, and A Little More Asian.

  • PeaceWithHonor

    Palin to Bachman to Angle. That's the perfect trifecta of crazy. And Santorum can be their little bro.

  • mog253

    She's looking for a Cabinet position – Education????

  • JustPixelz

    Fox aims for Repubican viewers, MSNBC for Demoncrats, and CNN is after the TP'ers. My guess is Angle will be their next 8pm (ET) show: "Sharonn's Showdown" where she gives challengers her trademark Second Amendment Remedy™, in HD where available.

  • SmutBoffin

    Authorities told Fox News that there were no people in the area at the time the book was found, and no arrests have been made in connection with it.

    No arrests, eh? For what? Littering?

  • hagajim

    Born in U.S. – Check
    Older than 35 – Double Check
    Completely batshit retarded crazy!!! Triple Check

    I guess I must run to save the country. I hope this idiot, Bachmann and Palin all run….it would be the biggest comedy of errors in the history of the world.

  • Manhattan123

    Please Baby Jesus, please let Angle, Palin and Bachmann get in the GOP primary. Please.

    • I'm terribly sorry but I seem to have inadvertently thumbed you down, my sincere apology, and it won't happen again.

  • lulzmonger


  • problemwithcaring

    Keep that crazy shit in Nevada. Places with stricter incest laws won't look as kindly on your shtick.

  • Please let Sharon run,and please let her go on Hannity and raise 7million more crazy bucks. the olds can deplete their warchests on these nutbags, leaving only billions from corporate sponsors for the mainline candidates.

  • Negropolis

    If O'Donnell and Angle and Palin and Bachmann and DeMint…can take down the Republican Party with them, perhaps, the Democrats can afford to suck for another decade and still win when we need to.

    This, my friends, is American Exceptionalism. We don't discriminiate. No matter how shrill and crazy and prideful and incompetent and hateful and delusional and retarded and crazy-eyed and detached from reality you are. America Fuck Yeah! America fuck yeah, indeed.

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