Sarah Palin Emerges From Hole, Sees Her Shadow, Says 'WTF'

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   Have you been very worried about Alaska's exurban fame monster Sarah Palin? Don't worry! She crawled out of her winter den and saw her reflection in Greta Van Susteren's plastic jaw, so this means we'll have six thousand years of nuclear winter once Palin winds up becoming president (of the Breakaway Republic of Wasilla) in 2012. What did Palin think of Barack Obama's popular centrist State of the Union speech?It's impossible to tell, based on the words falling so loosely from her lips, but she did prove she also doesn't know how to say the old Internet term "WTF," which is pronounced "What the Fuck?" (She just spoke the letters, which is a blood libel against Fuck.) Oh yeah, we've got the video! And yeah, the Snowbilly is definitely in her "Fat Elvis" final days of narcotic confusion. [ Media Matters ]

• And in the real world of actual news very far away from Sarah Palin's teevee studio in her McMansion, the Egyptian protests are now in their third very heavy day, with the streets filled with police smashing the skulls of the youth. At least six people have been killed so far, the Egyptian stock market is collapsing as investors bet on the protesters actually toppling Mubarak, and Nobel peace prize winner/pro-democracy advocate Mohammed ElBaradei has suddenly appeared in Cairo as a potential successor to Ol' Hosni. [ CBC ]

• Did Barack Obama plagiarize something in his speech? OMG it was filled with political cliches, and other politicians have used political cliches, so YES, GUILTY, we have NOT won the future, YOU GET NOTHING. [ LAT ]