IT'S MORNING IN AMERICA  9:20 am January 27, 2011

Sarah Palin Emerges From Hole, Sees Her Shadow, Says ‘WTF’

by Ken Layne

  • It's too early in the morning for your freakin' word salad nonsense, Palin.Have you been very worried about Alaska’s exurban fame monster Sarah Palin? Don’t worry! She crawled out of her winter den and saw her reflection in Greta Van Susteren’s plastic jaw, so this means we’ll have six thousand years of nuclear winter once Palin winds up becoming president (of the Breakaway Republic of Wasilla) in 2012. What did Palin think of Barack Obama’s popular centrist State of the Union speech? It’s impossible to tell, based on the words falling so loosely from her lips, but she did prove she also doesn’t know how to say the old Internet term “WTF,” which is pronounced “What the Fuck?” (She just spoke the letters, which is a blood libel against Fuck.) Oh yeah, we’ve got the video! And yeah, the Snowbilly is definitely in her “Fat Elvis” final days of narcotic confusion. [Media Matters]
  • And in the real world of actual news very far away from Sarah Palin’s teevee studio in her McMansion, the Egyptian protests are now in their third very heavy day, with the streets filled with police smashing the skulls of the youth. At least six people have been killed so far, the Egyptian stock market is collapsing as investors bet on the protesters actually toppling Mubarak, and Nobel peace prize winner/pro-democracy advocate Mohammed ElBaradei has suddenly appeared in Cairo as a potential successor to Ol’ Hosni. [CBC]
  • Did Barack Obama plagiarize something in his speech? OMG it was filled with political cliches, and other politicians have used political cliches, so YES, GUILTY, we have NOT won the future, YOU GET NOTHING. [LAT]
 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 205 comments }

ManchuCandidate January 27, 2011 at 9:24 am

In truth she said WTF because he used words instead of the normal grunts and jibberjabber she normally uses.

And jeez, Greta. Go easy on the verbal cunnilingus.

Not_So_Much January 27, 2011 at 9:38 am

If someone threw a tutu in front of Greta, she's go all 'Black Swan' on sweet, sweet Sarah whether the red light is on or not. I mean, it's not like she's ever mumbled a man into her bed.

DeeJayKitteh January 27, 2011 at 10:17 am

Way to make lesbianism unsexy.

Negropolis January 28, 2011 at 2:01 am

Rosie O'Donnell did that over a decade ago, my friend.

ttommyunger January 27, 2011 at 10:55 am

Instant soft-on!

Barbara_i January 27, 2011 at 9:25 am

Good grief! Get control of your husband's dick before you tell the President what he needs to do, please. As a matter of fact, get all the crotches in your house in order before you start trying to rule the world from your Facebook page.

Chet Kincaid January 27, 2011 at 9:48 am

"Ten-HUT! Present…CROTCH!"

Barbara_i January 27, 2011 at 9:51 am

Look Captain! that troop is pitching a tent!

elviouslyqueer January 27, 2011 at 9:57 am

And her relentless random Twittering, also. NEVAR FORGIT THE MIGHTY TWAT.

CalamityJames January 27, 2011 at 9:59 am

Do we really have a choice?

ttommyunger January 27, 2011 at 10:56 am

It is Twatilicious!

genxr January 27, 2011 at 11:28 am

A crotch on both your houses!

Rosie_Scenario January 27, 2011 at 9:25 am

Here I was enjoying the break from Palin comments. A brief, refreshing pause. Like when the stench from fish microwaved in the office kitchen has finally dissipated. And now, she's back. WTF. Also.

DemmeFatale January 27, 2011 at 4:40 pm

Yes, WTF!?
Commenting about her is a lot like feeding a troll.
(And by troll, I mean attention-whore.)

Sorry Ken!

Barrelhse January 27, 2011 at 9:25 am

I can't. I just can't hit "Play."

Barbara_i January 27, 2011 at 9:27 am

It's just a brief video, kinda like ripping a Band-aid off.

SorosBot January 27, 2011 at 9:32 am

Same hear. That voice, I just can't listen to it.

GunTotingProgressive January 27, 2011 at 9:35 am

Nice use of the homonym…

friendlyskies January 27, 2011 at 10:07 am

God hates homonyms.

ChessieNefercat January 27, 2011 at 10:15 am

I'll bet he hates synonyms, too.

tiredalways January 27, 2011 at 10:20 am

Do you think Sarah knows what homonym means? See, I made you laugh.

ttommyunger January 27, 2011 at 10:57 am

Same here!

elviouslyqueer January 27, 2011 at 9:59 am

Sadly, I think my latest Windows update has unenabled my ability to view this latest Palin-Greta fapfest. I never thought I'd say this, but Way To Go, Bill Gates!

ttommyunger January 27, 2011 at 10:56 am

I'm wit you, Kid!

LiveToServeYa January 27, 2011 at 1:04 pm

You are wise to avoid The Stupid.

lulzmonger January 27, 2011 at 4:07 pm

Nor I.
Seldom has the term "play" ever been less appropriate.

harry_palmer January 27, 2011 at 9:25 am

My doctor said I had to listen with the sound turned off. Did Greta berate her for driving Tawd into the arms of hookers?

LiveToServeYa January 27, 2011 at 9:25 am

Come on. Nobody in their right mind actually *says* W-T-F. Oh, right. Forgot. Well, ELL-OH-ELL, then.

Barbara_i January 27, 2011 at 9:31 am

Didn't you listen to her "Spudnut" moment? Is she suggesting that we have sex with potatoes?

LiveToServeYa January 27, 2011 at 9:34 am

Sex with potatoes is an *awful* suggestion because some would get it right in the eye.

ChessieNefercat January 27, 2011 at 10:16 am

I thought she was suggesting that Tawd's "spudnuts" would be mashed soon.

starfanglednut January 27, 2011 at 11:16 am

Actually, I'm pretty sure they were removed with a kitchen utensil shortly after the hooker rumors broke.

OneDollarJuana January 27, 2011 at 11:26 am

Radioactive potatoes. The Spudnut Shop is in Richland, WA, home of the Bombers, next to the ultrapolluted nuclear wasteland of the Hanford Nuclear Reservation. Interesting how she picks an example from the "heartland" which is actually almost completely government-run, -funded, and -staffed. But then, so is Alaska.

V572625694 January 27, 2011 at 9:26 am

Oh Sarah, you effectively said "fuck." Now you're fucked w/all the christ-tards. And all your sucking up to little Gertie there won't help you now.

And Ken, shouldn't you dateline your posts from Davos? We know you're really there.

HolyMaracas January 27, 2011 at 9:39 am

At least she's sticking to her guns: the maturity of a 14yr old and Xtian hypocrisy.

mayor_quimby January 27, 2011 at 9:41 am

That's what I thought, you can't just go around WTF'in like it doesn't mean fuck.
She is gonna say it stands for Frick in spite of years of internet tradition.

SorosBot January 27, 2011 at 9:52 am

Or she'll suddenly claim to be a geek and say it stands for Frack.

Barbara_i January 27, 2011 at 10:02 am

Then geek reply to her, frack you back, you hack.

horsedreamer_1 January 27, 2011 at 10:00 am

Greta's a Scientologist, so sucking up to her isn't going to help with the Evangelicals, whatever the case.

OneDollarJuana January 27, 2011 at 11:28 am

A Scientologist? That removes all of her credibility as a journalist.

JustPixelz January 27, 2011 at 11:58 am

"WTF" is a surveyor's term. Actually means Whores Todd Fucks?

HedonismBot January 27, 2011 at 9:26 am

What's it been, three days since she farted out her wordhole on the tubes? New record!

HedonismBot January 27, 2011 at 9:29 am

And I made it to about 1:15 before I turned the video off. New record for me too!

Barbara_i January 27, 2011 at 9:29 am

Oh, her mind is still on vacay. Her mouth never stopped working overtime though.

OC_Surf_Serf January 27, 2011 at 9:27 am

A little shaken by the one paper she does read religiously??

freakishlywrong January 27, 2011 at 9:27 am

FTW snowbilly, FTW with you in it.

Zvi_Bleindmeis January 27, 2011 at 10:05 am

That's short for Fuck the Wonkette, right?

philpjfry January 27, 2011 at 9:30 am

Oh dear Lord this woman. Why not STFU already

metamarcisf January 27, 2011 at 9:31 am

Fuck you, Dana Milbank.

Texan_Bulldog January 27, 2011 at 9:32 am

The idea that Snowbilly has the slightest idea of how the space race went with the USSR is hilarious. BTW where is she; she isn't supposed to appear without the pre-requisite fireplace and 5 American flags. Did Todd throw her out of the house & move in the masseuse?

SorosBot January 27, 2011 at 9:37 am

If the Enquirer story is true, then it's kind of a given that he moved in the masseuse.

V572625694 January 27, 2011 at 9:48 am

Wasn't the Toddmeister supposed to be banging Gertie Van S?

Barbara_i January 27, 2011 at 10:04 am

Half of her face seems to be paralyzed. This pretty much rules out having his wang mouthafied.

SorosBot January 27, 2011 at 10:10 am

Botox is a hell of a drug.

Not_So_Much January 27, 2011 at 9:41 am

Todd is borrowing Quadafi's nurse for a couple weeks — just for medical reasons. Sarah been sent to Vegas for some alone time and $1.87 all-you-can-eat deep fried food.

SorosBot January 27, 2011 at 9:33 am

Weird, when I went to Egypt everyone said they loved Mubarak; and I'm sure that was totally their honest, true feelings and not fear of being overheard by secret police.

Not_So_Much January 27, 2011 at 9:43 am

They were probably cool with the first few stolen elections. But when you go 30 in a row and start trying to keep up with Berlusconi, the people will start to get crabby as they gum their allotment of sand & gruel.

comrad_darkness January 27, 2011 at 9:49 am

Stability through tyranny can be cherished above all else by a society, if the shit before it gets bad enough. Something to keep in mind as you observe the Republicans working triple overtime on making the country foaming-at-the-mouth ungovernable.

OneDollarJuana January 27, 2011 at 11:31 am

There are many, many Iraqis and Russians who miss the old days when life was predictable.

sweetcommunist January 27, 2011 at 12:57 pm

And the Russians I met were very fond of Putin. They credit him with making Russia a superpower again, and restoring the economy.

Gunner Asch January 28, 2011 at 1:37 pm

We had a friend from Siberia visiting when Yeltsen was facing the coup attempt in '91. She watched our TV reporters forwarding the fragmentary information as it became available and declared that Russian news was much better because they never showed any uncertainty in their reporting. Not surprisingly, she thought Stalin was a great man.

weejee January 27, 2011 at 9:33 am

The SpudNutz shoppe in Richland, WA is just a few miles from the main gate to the Hanford Nuclear Reservation. Wouldja like plutonium sprinkles on your potato flour dawgnut or the special strontium-90 glaze?

GregComlish January 27, 2011 at 10:06 am

SpudNutz? Are you sure you aren't thinking of "Dick Taters"??

HolyMaracas January 27, 2011 at 9:34 am

The Twat is right: there were plenty of WTF moments (What Teabaggers Fear).

revmod January 27, 2011 at 9:34 am

"final days of narcotic confusion…"

This. The clip seems stunningly incoherent even by the Grifter's very high standards. Spud Nutz? What? Are those testicles for my potatoes? Maybe Greta understands it, what with her getting out in the community and finding the solutions with the real Americans and what-not.

SorosBot January 27, 2011 at 9:35 am

Meanwhile, is there anyone on the East Coast who has to work today, or is it a snow day for everybody?

metamarcisf January 27, 2011 at 9:51 am

In Syracuse, we got little snow. On the bright side, it was -13 the other day.

OC_Surf_Serf January 27, 2011 at 10:00 am

76° and Sunny today…

jus_wonderin January 27, 2011 at 10:27 am

Daughter, at Princeton (works on campus). Off today (working from home).

sweetcommunist January 27, 2011 at 12:59 pm

At work here in Richmond. I think all of last night's snow and ice has melted.

Ruhe January 27, 2011 at 9:38 am

So sorry to hear she's entering the "fat Elvis" stage. I was really looking forward to her and Bachman slugging it out, PHILF* style, in 2012.

*political hack i'd like to @#%*. not me personally, mind you.

walstib January 27, 2011 at 10:16 am

Fat Elvis stage = Velvet Paintings

RIGHT??!!

I MUST HAVE A VELVET SARAH!!!!!!!!

sati_demise January 27, 2011 at 11:54 am

google. I am sure there are plenty of velvet Palin paintings out there.

GOPCrusher January 27, 2011 at 12:54 pm

Hopefully one with Zombie Reagan smiling down at her.

justkillmenow January 27, 2011 at 1:32 pm

I like the dead-on-a-toilet Elvis stage best.

Barrelhse January 27, 2011 at 10:22 am

It wouldn't be so bad, really, with Duct tape over their mouths, and plastic bags pulled tightly over their heads. Fucking them, I mean.

Ruhe January 27, 2011 at 10:31 am

Seriously? I'm no David Denby but I'm pretty sure that what you've offered isn't so much "snark" as "sociopathy". Is that you Jared?

Tommmcatt January 27, 2011 at 4:19 pm

One could say the same of sheep, however, or of howler monkeys.

genxr January 27, 2011 at 11:32 am

That clip makes me wish she would shoot my TV. From the inside.

SilverFox January 27, 2011 at 9:39 am

Sputnik = Russian, Russian = Commie, Commie = Bad. Must criticize Obamr.

jim89048 January 27, 2011 at 12:33 pm

Commie=Librul=double-plus bad.

baconzgood January 27, 2011 at 9:39 am

Sputnik caused Russa to co-laps? I thought Reagan single handedly shot lazer piranhas out of his fingers while singing "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk". Common Sarah stay on the talking point that the GOP agreed on.

BLOOD LIBEL!!!!

Ducksworthy January 27, 2011 at 9:52 am

My theory is that the history of the Soviet Union was somewhat circular. Founded by Lenin, destroyed by Lennon.

horsedreamer_1 January 27, 2011 at 10:03 am

np: "Blackened USSR" — Beatallica

GunTotingProgressive January 27, 2011 at 10:40 am

Mega up-fists for a reference to my favorite pseudo-band.

genxr January 27, 2011 at 9:54 am

No, it was space. Just like going to the moon was America's downfall. If Neil Armstrong had just stayed home and baked potato pancakes we wouldn't be in this mess.

Also Sputnik is Obama's code word that he wants more communist czars.

JustPixelz January 27, 2011 at 12:06 pm

Next time someone says Reagan won the Cold War, I'll tell 'em Professor Palin says Russia went into debt to launch Sputnik which caused their economic collapse 35 years later. It had nothing to do with USSR spending 15% of GDP on military and 0% on kitchen remodels.

x111e7thst January 27, 2011 at 9:40 am

Perhaps young Tard could interpret Sister Sarah's confused babble for us?

CalamityJames January 27, 2011 at 10:04 am

I can't understand why anyone would need to hear anything else from Ben Quayle, but if you think it'll help.

samsuncle January 27, 2011 at 9:42 am

After watching this video I couldn't help but think of the Ramone's hit "I want to be sedated".

starfanglednut January 27, 2011 at 11:22 am

put me in a wheelchair, get me on the plane.

JimmyCarlBlack January 27, 2011 at 9:43 am

I'm surprised she didn't go with Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. You know, to support the troops.

OC_Surf_Serf January 27, 2011 at 10:06 am

a Tweedy Tweet?

Tundra Grifter January 27, 2011 at 9:44 am

Alvin Feltzenberg is guilty of trying to pass off cotton candy as a steak dinner.

He takes a few words, claims that ideas were plagarized (that's impossible, by the way), annecdotes that he suggests are recycled – and now Mr. Obama is a thief?

WoW!

comrad_darkness January 27, 2011 at 9:44 am

Hey, what's this freakish face on my wonkette? We wuz promised!
No No NO NO, you DI-INT!

sati_demise January 27, 2011 at 11:53 am

yea, but you cannot bypass teh complete crazy of this statement, from anyone!

comrad_darkness January 27, 2011 at 12:47 pm

Oh, you are saying she earned her place for once? Hm. Maybe, all right then…
That in itself would be pretty darn newsworthy.

sati_demise January 27, 2011 at 6:32 pm

maybe it is her strategy to stay in the news? ack

Maman January 27, 2011 at 9:45 am

The space race bankrupted the former Soviet USSR? That only took 30 years and an arms race.

OC_Surf_Serf January 27, 2011 at 9:56 am

The race race took out Germany in about 10 years…

ChessieNefercat January 27, 2011 at 10:27 am

I realized she was going to try to compete with Minnesota Crazy-Eyes for President of Whackjobistan, but come on, are these two loons in a competition to prove just how incredibly, mind-numbingly, face-palmily stupid/ignorant they both are regarding US or world history?

I realize they are both vindictive and malicious and have no problem lying, but in these two recent cases, I find it frighteningly possible that what is falling out of their squawk holes is the result of ignorance, not lies.

mavenmaven January 27, 2011 at 10:57 am

And wars in Afghanistan. Whoops!

starfanglednut January 27, 2011 at 11:23 am

srsly.

OneDollarJuana January 27, 2011 at 11:36 am

Well, ya see, it was Sputnik that started the space race, and the arms race was for missiles in space, and the war in Afghanistan was for more space, and Reagan was a space cadet, so it's clear, Greta, that is was the Sputnik space race that brought down the USSR.

jim89048 January 27, 2011 at 12:37 pm

NORM!

imissopus January 27, 2011 at 11:44 am

Somebody needs to remind her that the Reagan arms buildup in the 80s, which was aimed directly at making the Soviets spend to try and keep up and led more directly to their collapse, didn't exactly do wonders for our financial solvency either. Not to mention the nine years they spent in Afghanistan during that decade.

Thurman Munster IV January 27, 2011 at 9:46 am

Louis C.K. has a riff about the "N" word. He hates when people say the "N" word instead the n word because it make HIM think the word instead. Well, the divine Miss S has made all of us think the word "Fuck" when none of us would even conceive of doing that in polite company. Get me my salts and a fainting couch. Stupid cunt.

OneDollarJuana January 27, 2011 at 11:36 am

Canard. Ha, made you think!

comrad_darkness January 27, 2011 at 12:50 pm

Bush thought "the N word" was Nepotism.

Redhead January 27, 2011 at 9:46 am

I say WTF every time I see Palin's face too. Can't she go to Egypt for awhile?

metamarcisf January 27, 2011 at 9:48 am

And today it's reported that she has over $1.3 million in her political action committee. I mean, who says Americans are dumb? I mean, like who?

genxr January 27, 2011 at 11:35 am

How much of that was donated by the SpudNut corporation?

genxr January 27, 2011 at 9:50 am

Forget all this space age technology. We are all going to work in a giant bakery instead.

LiveToServeYa January 27, 2011 at 9:50 am

I think Obama was just paraphrasing JFK on the salmon thing.

GOPCrusher January 27, 2011 at 1:00 pm

I'm waiting for Bible Spice to come out and say that "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country" is proof that JFK was a Communist.

VinnyThePooh January 27, 2011 at 9:54 am

Okay, Scooter Nation, Velveeta break is over.

GregComlish January 27, 2011 at 9:55 am

Uh oh Sarah! Better drop the pounds ASAP. The lamestream media rarely tolerates a female who isn't photogenic. Look at what happened to Ann Coulter. She's still as vicious as a snake, but even in the Obama/'Tea Party' era Coulter and her rapidly decaying face can rarely get a gig, even on Fox. In the past few years Gravity accomplished what human decency could not: silencing that unbearable shrew.

So keep medicating yourself with food to deal with your imploding career and abysmal family. Your laughable undoing is the only reality TV that anybody wants to see you in.

jus_wonderin January 27, 2011 at 10:35 am

Sarah needs to take a cue from Kate. She's a one trick pony of piss and vinegar, plus whine.

ttommyunger January 27, 2011 at 11:01 am

OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!

OneYieldRegular January 27, 2011 at 9:55 am

What's that (R) doing next to Sarah Palin's name? R-Facebook? R-Twitter? R-Susteran?

bflrtsplk January 27, 2011 at 10:02 am

That's R-Snowbilly.

horsedreamer_1 January 27, 2011 at 10:05 am

They still call her Governor, too.

Last I heard, though, Governor wasn't the same as Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, President, or military officer. It's not a life-time honourific.

OC_Surf_Serf January 27, 2011 at 10:08 am

It what the TVGuide puts next to a rerun…

friendlyskies January 27, 2011 at 10:10 am

R-U Serious?

Boredw/Gravity January 27, 2011 at 10:27 am

R-etard

GOPCrusher January 27, 2011 at 1:01 pm

Rape Advocate?

baconzgood January 27, 2011 at 9:59 am

(Sarah pointing aimlessly around the Wonkette comments page)

Blood libel you, blood libel you, blood libel YOU, you're cool (to troll), blood libel you. I'm out!

tiredalways January 27, 2011 at 10:16 am

Do you think she has a drinking game whenever she reads Blood libel on Wonkette? That would explain her state all the time because boy, we love that word..

Btw Sarah, if you are reading~ Blood libel ! There, you got one more reason to drink…..Oh yeah, before I forget, Canard, Spudnutz, Refudiate, Also, too.

VinnyThePooh January 27, 2011 at 10:01 am

Sarah was appalled by El-ahrairah's mention of the Big Bad Gubmint studying spawning Palins in his SOTU.

Moonbat January 27, 2011 at 10:17 am

I'm pretty sure Palin's working for General Woundwort, myself.

bflrtsplk January 27, 2011 at 10:01 am

Who is Sarah Susteran Van Palin? Or dare I ask, What?

Tommmcatt January 27, 2011 at 7:08 pm

She was great in Transamerica.

horsedreamer_1 January 27, 2011 at 10:06 am

If Stephen Harper is supporting the Egyptian protesters, I think I might have to join the HOSNI UP, HOSNI DOWN Mubarak fan-page on facebook.

CalamityJames January 27, 2011 at 10:06 am

It sounded better than "T."

tiredalways January 27, 2011 at 10:18 am

Nah, I don't think so :)

CalamityJames January 27, 2011 at 10:23 am

Why is this here? Hey, OneYieldRegular, this was supposed to be a response for you, but Intense Debate is all WTF,.

YasserArraFeck January 27, 2011 at 10:06 am

Years from now, long after Griftie MacSnowshoe fades from sight (and possibly expires, vomiting blood libel into the crapper), the sad sack faithful will be making the pilgrimage to "Wasilla Graceland"….the Todd Fence….the Fox News Annex……..I don't even want to think about the Jungle Room…..

jus_wonderin January 27, 2011 at 10:44 am

I love your vision. We have to add the spawn in too. They are there to skim some bucks from the till and admonish those who stand to close to the velvet ropes or touch the holographic image of the Palin Crown of Thorns / Halo.

sati_demise January 27, 2011 at 6:35 pm

bear skin rug under glass so you can walk over it, but not miss a single detail.

fuflans January 27, 2011 at 10:07 am

was sarah anywhere near utah last night?

Weenus299 January 27, 2011 at 10:09 am

Context please. She says "WTF". Which, to me, implies that she has gone two years completely agreeing with various lines of the President's thinking. And President Obama must've taken a break from his SOTU address and announced to congress that "We begin bombing Alaska in five minutes." That would be appropriate use of WTF. But seeing as the crotch deregulation chick has opposed every breath President Obama has taken, I don't fucking understand her surprise.

What the FUCK?

user-of-owls January 27, 2011 at 10:12 am

One of my friends in grad school was in industrial psychology. He told me that when food manufacturers devise the preparation instructions for their product, they use a sort of lowest common denominator benchmark. Specifically, they write instructions that can be understood by those with "Minimal ability, impaired." In other words, a retard who's drunk.

I bet there's a new standard these days.

weejee January 27, 2011 at 10:35 am

I think they use the same approach with scripts for the tee vee.

tiredalways January 27, 2011 at 10:12 am

Mayhe, she just meant 'What the Fox?' Not that F* & Fox are any different to us..

thebeatgoeson08 January 27, 2011 at 3:46 pm

What the Fox?!?! *TM Stephanie Miller

friendlyskies January 27, 2011 at 10:14 am

Does the Republican plastic surgery team secretly hate them all? None of their foreheads have moved in months, and we won't even be able to tell the difference between Bachmann and Palin by November 2012.

jus_wonderin January 27, 2011 at 10:47 am

Someone, not me, will have to resort to the smell test. Palin has a faint air, and woodsy aroma of moose turd. Bachmann smells like my Grandmother's garage.

johnnymeatworth January 27, 2011 at 10:14 am

"blood libel against Fuck" just became the phrase I want on my tombstone. Thank you, My Wonkette. Thank you….

el_chupacabra January 27, 2011 at 10:15 am

I certainly feel "aspired to celebrate"

jus_wonderin January 27, 2011 at 10:17 am

Cut it out!!! No, really, cut them out because the potatoes are tastier that way.

Zvi_Bleindmeis January 27, 2011 at 10:17 am

Egypt's progressive populace should be looking to their greatest media success, Zahi Hawass (pronounced: ZAY-high HAW-ass).
http://www.drhawass.com/

user-of-owls January 27, 2011 at 10:28 am

Is he that dude who was on American Idol way back when?

BornInATrailer January 27, 2011 at 10:23 am

Please DIAF Sarah.

user-of-owls January 27, 2011 at 10:25 am

I absolutely adore Edith Diaf! Such pathos…

Boredw/Gravity January 27, 2011 at 10:29 am

Sarah can see both Sputnik and salmon from her house.

tiredalways January 27, 2011 at 10:40 am

And Spudnutz, also too.

elviouslyqueer January 27, 2011 at 10:29 am

Dear morans at the LA Times:

Here's a quick primer on plagiarism. Plagiarism is the unauthorized use or close imitation of the language and thoughts of another author and the representation of them as one's own original work. This implies a conscious intent to deceive. You know, like Sarah Palin does every time she opens her trap, or what most of your writers do when they're on deadline and haven't yet written their story. Hope this helps.

Regards,
EQ

mereoblivion January 27, 2011 at 10:33 am

I only believe in plagiarizing myself (from myself?), and even then I put it in my own words. As long as I put the thought in my own words, I'm all for using myself as the source of my plagiarismising.

problemwithcaring January 27, 2011 at 5:39 pm

I don't even have to click the article — if the headline is some barely coherent, unreasoned attack again something the president said/did — it's an Andrew Malcolm article. His entire gig is wiriting click through dogwhistles for the immigrant-hating wingnuts.

mumbly_joe January 27, 2011 at 10:42 am

She also seems convinced that the Russkies won the space race, and that winning the space race, (presumably no later than 1961??) is what caused the Soviet Union to collapse, nearly 30 years later. Not only is this the very picture of random, free-associated idiocy, but it even runs counter to the standard Republican creation-myth, whereby Ronald Reagan single-handedly won the Cold war, armed only with a bowie knife, supply-side tax cuts, a pack of Chesterfields, and his copious man-grit. Instead, she's crediting either Ike or Kennedy with that win.

Point being, if Republicans had even the slimmest iota of intellectual honesty, they would regard her publicly as every bit the clownish lunatic the rest of us do.

GOPCrusher January 27, 2011 at 1:11 pm

I think that day is rapidly approaching.
The fact that SarahPAC has only 1.3 Million in the bank, despite the fact that she is supposed to be the Second Coming of The Blessed St. Ronnie, indicates that the Republiklan Money Machine is thinking twice about throwing money down on a dead horse.

lulzmonger January 27, 2011 at 4:46 pm

if Republicans had even the slimmest iota of intellectual honesty, they would regard her publicly as every bit the clownish lunatic the rest of us do

Evel Knievel would've had better odds of jumping the Snake River Canyon on a unicycle than the GOP has of jumping that "if."

Ancient_Hackery January 27, 2011 at 10:46 am

Bible Spice obviously hasn't read any book on the space race.

A few points for ya, B.S.:

* The US could have launched a satellite years before the USSR, but Eisenhower (a Republican, the old sensible kind), thought it would be tacky to do so on top of an ICBM.
So he firmly and repeatedly ordered Von Braun and friends to NOT work on that angle. So much so, he sent a personal watchdog to check every ICBM test launch to make sure it was just sending up Florida sand in its top stage, not some homebrewed satellite.

* The Russians did manage to get up a satellite, but using very impractical technology ( a rocket with 24 separate rocket engines! ). That line of development was an expensive dead end, and they soon stopped trying to get things into orbit using that mess.

So while the Sovs did get a satellite up there first, it was very much a Phyrric victory (look it up, BS ).

trampndirtdown January 27, 2011 at 10:45 pm

Nuh unh she's read all of em Katie.

mavenmaven January 27, 2011 at 10:59 am

We don't need a space program. What we need is an old bakery. Because when the citizens are in turmoil about the economy, well, let them eat cake.

spinozasgod January 27, 2011 at 12:39 pm

it looks like the chubby christ chick is doing just that….

ttommyunger January 27, 2011 at 11:05 am

"Spud Nutz", the other White CrackerAss.

caged_wisdom January 27, 2011 at 11:06 am

Wow. She can't even keep her talking points straight. Way to throw Reagen under the bus. Didn't Ronnie save the world?

SenileAgitation January 27, 2011 at 11:19 am

In her eagerness to dismiss anything Obamer says, the Wag of Wasilla seems to think "Hmm, Sputnik, why do we want a Communist moment? No, thanks, bub! What we need is a doughnut shop or potato shack to lead the way. Get it? Not Sputnik, Spudnutz! Gotcha, O'Bama! You don't get to the moon by relying on the Government, but by letting the People prosper in their pursuits. The answer to our current position in relation to the rest of the world is simply generations of hardworking doughnut shop workers!" Sheesh, Sarah, you sound a little pleased with yourself, and rightly so! That is a memorable zinger that your followers can and should take up as a rallying cry. If there's one thing this country doesn't need, it's to compete in a global economy where ideas might come in handy!

DustBowlBlues January 27, 2011 at 11:21 am

The what the fuck moment is this: Donuts? We'll solve all our problems if we have more donut shops? This bitch really does hate the First Lady's healthy eating campaign, doens't she? And I thought her shitty looks were just Ken's photoshopping to make her look that bad. Nope. She looked shitty, all on her own.

Anyone remember back in the olden days when Greta Van was somewhat admired by normal people, then got the eye slit operation to look Asian (speaking of WTF–what the fuck was that about?) and switched from CNN to Faux News, catching a rising star before it hit the heights of media superstardom?

(And if I hear one more reference on the Stillwater NPR station about the basketball plane crash ten years ago, I'm turning off the radio. Ten people dead, that's sad accident. But the 168 people who were assassinated in OKC because they were federal employees don't get this much attention). (Said on the wonket because I wouldn't dare say that outside these four walls, and even my cat is glaring at me).

notreelyhelping January 27, 2011 at 11:29 am

So…uh…in other words: she didn't know what he was talking about, doesn't know shit about history, and says America needs more doughnut shops. Got it. Sounds like presidential material to me, by golly. Everybody at bingo night just loves her! She is so, so cute! And patriotic!

Serfville January 27, 2011 at 11:32 am

Whale & reindeer blubber is 99% fat AND her God Todd(yes she did say exactly that on TeeVee), her God Todd is slamming some prosti with the last name Tripp. Oh the irony. And that kid in the sexy undies messed up her seamless run for Armageddon 2012. All these things would make a snowbilly grifter hefty. Dear Sarah, why don't you kill a salad with a high powered rifle, & knock some of that high blubber diet fat of ya. wink, wink

OneDollarJuana January 27, 2011 at 11:33 am

More Cowgirls coffee shops. Or is that just a Seattle reference?

keepem_sikanpor January 27, 2011 at 11:36 am

And yeah, the Snowbilly is definitely in her “Fat Elvis” final days of narcotic confusion.

Well that is good news! If I could afford to I would send her a brand new toilet to finish out her final moments.

genxr January 27, 2011 at 11:43 am

Somebody please shoot my TV.

valgal2342 January 27, 2011 at 11:36 am

Great headline. LOL

MinAgain January 27, 2011 at 11:40 am

Take a breath, Sarah. Geez, it's like someone in the background is holding a stopwatch and timing the talking points.

OneDollarJuana January 27, 2011 at 11:42 am

I'd just like to point out that it wasn't three weeks ago that everyone was saying that Snowbilly's career was over because of her contributions to the atmosphere that apparently led to the Giffords shooting. Well, she appears to be still around, and she will stay around until someone crazier comes along to take her place. She is still TV gold.

genxr January 27, 2011 at 11:42 am

Anyone know how much she gets paid for product placement? From this video, it looks like a per-mention contract. "SpudNutz SpudNutz SpudNutz tax cuts SpudNutz communist liberals SpudNutz SpudNutz economy SpudNutz WTF SpudNutz. SpudNutz. Also."

Anyway, our national mission is clear. Innovate less, eat more!

sati_demise January 27, 2011 at 11:50 am

Lets replace NASA with spudnuts!?! donut shops will fix our economy, fur sure.

Serfville January 27, 2011 at 12:05 pm

According to the NE: "SHAILEY TRIPP, had an affair with Todd Palin that lead (sic) to her arrest March of 2010,"
It is illegal in Alaska to have sex with God Todd Palin?
Did he really know this chicks last name? Holy Irony! Enquiring minds want to know!

Buckminster January 27, 2011 at 12:22 pm

Even more incoherrant than usual. Thanks, Wonkette, I felt my IQ drop by 20 points after watching that dumbass woman's twaddle.

VeraSevera January 27, 2011 at 1:02 pm

Spud nut? WTF? W…T…F!!!!

Asa_Hawks January 27, 2011 at 1:34 pm

I could only listen to it for thirty seconds. Is she TRYING to be that inarticulate? Could this all be performance art?

Wilcoxyz January 27, 2011 at 1:46 pm

Is this kind of dumbing down of achievement a populism win or fail?

Launching a satellite = failure, because it's expensive.

America needs donuts.

In her defense, JFK fought the Cold War with a speech on donuts.

BarackMyWorld January 27, 2011 at 7:26 pm
ginrevolution January 27, 2011 at 1:59 pm

This can all easily be traced back to Laika, the time-traveling dog-droid/reincarnate of Sarah Palin.

deleted9317611 January 27, 2011 at 2:23 pm

touch it..

hilbillyheroine January 27, 2011 at 3:03 pm

The tranny version of the Dwight Schrute/Michael Scott love-child.

eekahil January 27, 2011 at 4:42 pm

NEW !111!!! From the company what brang ya TruckNutz!11!111!!!!!!

it's

SPUDNUTZ !1!111!!!!!!!

lulzmonger January 27, 2011 at 4:55 pm

Wasilla, Traumatized, Facepalms.

JackObin January 27, 2011 at 5:16 pm

As white trash, community college dropouts go, Sarah Palin is about average.

LetUsBray January 27, 2011 at 9:29 pm

Hey, she did NOT drop out. She withdrew on medical grounds; being freaked out by being around Asians is some sort of condition or other, isn't it?

problemwithcaring January 27, 2011 at 5:58 pm

Thiiiiiiis Biiiiiiiiiitch. Since when did you become self-titled Spokescunt for the American Heartland!? Sarah, you moosefucker, you are from Alaska – the coldest most desolate, dumbest and ass backwards place in the Western Hemisphere. What the fuck could you and your uneducated, rude, and uncultured tribe of yokels know about the American Heartland?

Hey, you Quitbilly dumb ass — want to know what is the American Heartland?

It is Cleveland, Ohio (NASA's John H. Glenn Research Center at Lewis Field, )
It in Greenbelt, Maryland (NASA's Goddard Space Flight Center)
It is Hampton, Virginia (NASA's Langley Research Center)
It is El Segundo, CA (Edwards Air Force Base)
It is Bay St. Louis, Mississippi (John C. Stennis Space Center)
It is Huntsville, Alabama (Marshall Space Flight Center)
It is Houston, Texas (Johnson Space Center)
And it is Florida (Kennedy Space Center),

among many other places, employing many Americans with good paying jobs, so shut the fuck up you useless, ignorant, dried-up, whorish, old fucking bitch.

sati_demise January 27, 2011 at 6:40 pm

and she could say "gotcha" except she describes it as that internet tradition.

BarackMyWorld January 27, 2011 at 7:24 pm

I finally watched this latest edition of "Sarah Palin: One Woman Blooper Reel" and, whaddaya know, I am introduced to a form of donut I've yet to encounter. Hooray.

DustBowlBlues January 27, 2011 at 8:45 pm

Fuck yeah, Spudnuts! I've been loyal to my weight watchers diet for a few days now, and I started craving donuts so badly that I could hardly take time to think about how shitty she looked. Will her fan base stick with her if she doesn't bother with her makeup and has stringy hair? Better think it through, bitch, if you can think that deeply.

transfatz January 27, 2011 at 10:30 pm

The logic is similar to Reagan's star wars gambit :
The US will re-hire hundreds of thousands of engineers like me to do feasibility studies on the possibility of eddy current testing for donut done-ness. Al Queda will realize that their donut done-ness technology is seriously out of date. The ensuing feasibility study race will bankrupt Al Queda which will break up, with many of its outlying operations deciding to join NATO…

Negropolis January 28, 2011 at 2:00 am

Alt text FTW. It's exactly how I feel, sometimes.

Maryonparoo January 28, 2011 at 11:25 am

Thank you Lord! I have found my people! I just found this website and this article. I belong. There are people out there who think Sarah is a nutcase! Hallelujah!!

horsedreamer_1 January 27, 2011 at 10:19 am

Only liberul shrews like Nancy Pelosi get Botox treatments!

Sarah Palin's stunning good looks are the result of good genes, proper diet, & exercise.

HempDogbane January 27, 2011 at 10:27 am

God does not hate homonyms. God only hates it when you liberals try to marry homonyms.

elviouslyqueer January 27, 2011 at 10:40 am

Let he who is without syn cast the first homo.

genxr January 27, 2011 at 11:37 am

Ted Haggard gave her a referral but that didn't work out well at all.

JustPixelz January 27, 2011 at 12:10 pm

Yes, there is such a masseuse — Shailey Tripp. Oddly her last name is the same is Palin's grandson's first name. Small world, eh?

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