IT'S MORNING IN AMERICA  9:19 am January 26, 2011

Obama Wins the Morning: 92% Who Watched Approved!

by Ken Layne

  • I am, I am, I am Superman, and I can do anything ....Granted, this is limited to people who admitted to watching the State of the Union, but those who did say they overwhelmingly approved of the mish-mash of Sputnik and Spending Cuts and “Clean Coal” that Obama presented to the nation as maybe some way that people might eventually get a job in America. 92% is a true Win the Morning/Future! A CNN poll found that 84% of those who watched had either a very positive or “somewhat positive” tingle down their leg after watching the SoTU, and a group of swing voters surveyed by another polling company went from 30% approval of Obama to 56% approval of Obama after simply watching the speech. Magic? We are going to have to go with “magic,” because if all it takes is a decently presented State of the Union with a lot of optimistic pipe dreams and cheerleading for the beloved “troops” who continue to be stuck in two awful lost causes forever because the White House and Pentagon want it that way, then magic is not limited to the wonderful world of Hogwarts and is now being practiced by our own “Hawaiian Dumbledore,” Barack Obama. [Politico/CNN/CBS News]
  • Meanwhile, in Egypt, all protests of any kind have been smashed after yesterday’s increasingly crazy riots in every major city. Will the revolt accomplish the impossible and knock the vile crook Mubarak out of power? If wearing those Guy Fawkes masks and “tweeting” makes revolution real in Our Dumb Era, then this is very very real. [Al Jazeera]
  • Oh yeah and Michelle Bachmann gave her own very special State of the Tea Party video speech, which was ignored by everyone but the desperate lamers at CNN. The New York Times notes that Bachmann was so insane during this brief, looking-everywhere-but-the-camera paranoid rant, “she seemed almost like the telekinetic high school heroine of Carrie.” [New York Times/Guardian]
 
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{ 119 comments }

vulpes82 January 26, 2011 at 9:21 am

I'm really not the commie I thought I was, because I liked the speech. Of course, I just read it, I didn't watch it, but I thought it was good. Don't hate me, Ken.

Also, when has a SOTU in the modern era been anything OTHER than a lot of "optimistic pipe dreams and cheerleading for the beloved 'troops'"?

V572625694 January 26, 2011 at 9:36 am

It's hard to recall now, but there were a few years when our beloved troops were at home, or in their bloated garrisons in Germany and Korea, and not bombing browns. Thank goodness Chimpy put an end to that forever.

Worthly Wokette Skum January 26, 2011 at 1:41 pm

I just read it, I didn't watch it

Why do you hate America's bandwidth?

ManchuCandidate January 26, 2011 at 9:24 am

Considering the, er, awesome (actually awful) response by current Non Toxic Queen of the Teabaggers, Mich Bachman, I'm not surprised.

BerkeleyBear January 26, 2011 at 9:31 am

And the small minded, sky is falling Ryan response (which only looked sane next to Shelly) and the immediate petty put downs by the GOP generally.

Give the GOP this much credit – they seem to have given up on trying to match him either oratorically or in terms of vision, and just stick to the lying and mean girls schtick they do so well. Of course, that means Obama will get another term, but they'll at least make sure he does as little good as possible.

baconzgood January 26, 2011 at 9:33 am

I couldn't even watch what she had to say. She's said soooo much stupid crap on the floor of Congress I can't imagine what happens when she mades a statment unconstrained by the Rules of the House.

MarionNYNY January 26, 2011 at 9:42 am

I watched and my brainz will never be the same. I think by presenting herself as an actual elected official currently in office who was INVITED by someone else to speak in a place that wasn't her living room and featured a real chart, she's setting herself up as the TeaBagger Queen candidate with gravitas.

baconzgood January 26, 2011 at 9:53 am

BLOOD LIBEL!!!!!!!!!!!!

MarionNYNY January 26, 2011 at 10:17 am

Oh damn it. I swore an oath to take a shot (tequilla not bullets) whenever anyone says blood libel and I'm at work. What to do?

PocketsTheClown January 26, 2011 at 9:35 am

What was with all the numbers? She was like the lawnmower man, but for irritating.

PsycWench January 26, 2011 at 10:19 am

I couldn't bring myself to watch/listen but NPR this morning reported that she was determined to stare into the camera. However, she stared into the wrong camera.
This in some way reminds me of my daughter who will sometimes assemble her clothing for the day with great care and then attempt to leave the house without making any contact with a hairbrush.

cheaphits January 26, 2011 at 10:19 am

She called on people to fight against their own government as our soldiers fought against totalitarian Japan.

Inciting a riot much, ya think?

Come here a minute January 26, 2011 at 9:25 am

Hooray Mr. President! Keep calling for budget restraint, belt tightening, austerity. (And keep spending like a drunken sailor.) Not only did it work for Bush, getting reelected was the only thing that worked for Bush. If Obama can pull off eliminating oil company subsidies and raising income taxes on the rich and still be seen as a friend to corporate interests, that would rival Bush's income tax giveaway being perceived as fiscal responsibility.

And drunken sailors are what makes this country great. Support our drunken sailors and soldiers.

Oblios_Cap January 26, 2011 at 9:28 am

We fought the War of 1812 to protect those rum-besotted sailors!

SorosBot January 26, 2011 at 9:42 am

And here I thought we fought it because we thought we could conquer Canada while the Brits were distracted fighting our close ally, Napoleon.

sweetcommunist January 26, 2011 at 1:44 pm

Politics is no place for history!

BerkeleyBear January 26, 2011 at 9:33 am

Stimulus, baby. Stimulus. San Francisco wasn't built on Rock n Roll as much as drunken sailors on liberty with a month's wages in their pockets.

ttommyunger January 26, 2011 at 10:02 am

I beg your pardon! I have been a drunken Soldier and a drunken Marine on MANY occasions. We always spent OUR OWN FUCKING MONEY. I did not drink with Squids (Sailors) but can only assume they did likewise. Apology, please!

MittsHairHelmet January 26, 2011 at 9:26 am

Last night I was wondering who that speech was directed towards. Focus Groups! I should've known.

baconzgood January 26, 2011 at 9:27 am

Bonner hated it. He really couldn't hide his distain for having a black man more powerfull than him. How can a man in such a small demographic be so openly hostile to an black man? I've been to Dayton and there is absolutely no orange community there.

twaingirl January 26, 2011 at 9:43 am

Yes but many of his constituents live in the richy rich suburb of West Chester (home of Cincinnati's only IKEA!!). When I moved to Cincy, I went to that Ikea and saw oompa loompas everywhere and as I left the parking lot I saw why–there was a tanning salon on every corner.

StillGoinGreen January 26, 2011 at 10:01 am

The only dif between Cincy and the burbs here in Tejas is that there is a donut shop next to each tanning salon on each corner. Therefore, all of our oranganians really are bigger in Texas.

NorthStarSpanx January 26, 2011 at 11:41 am

Texinati runs on Dunkens.

BerkeleyBear January 26, 2011 at 9:28 am

Obama's not Dumbledore (not old enough), or really anyone from the crappy Hogwarts pantheon. I see him as some sort of Half-Elf out of Tolkein – he looks basically human, if a little lean, but he moves with unnatural grace, charms all around and seems to have an unerring composure/command of natural magic.

vulpes82 January 26, 2011 at 10:05 am

He better chose, then, whether to take on mortality as a human or go into the West as an elf before his gray gets any worse!

BerkeleyBear January 26, 2011 at 11:18 am

Afraid the last ship already sailed on that one. Plus he's got a hot human wife and two adorable quarter-elfs to think about.

HurricaneAli January 26, 2011 at 10:51 am

+1 for high-brow nerdery.

BarryOPotter January 26, 2011 at 10:53 am

Hear hear.

MLHencken January 26, 2011 at 9:29 am

The SOTU is merely a construct to allow Michele Bachmann to the opportunity to look at the wrong camera and tell us how everything bad that has happened since 2008 is all Bammerz fault.

Oblios_Cap January 26, 2011 at 9:30 am

Thanks for watching the pep rally Ken so that I didn't have to. I'm glad to see that a majority of idiots with landlines and no caller ID really liked O'bama's speech.

StillGoinGreen January 26, 2011 at 10:08 am

I would have given the telephonic pollsters a thumbs up about our strong economy that Hopey Changey talked about – except I had to turn off my ringer so I don't have to deal with all the bill collectors calling. 92, huh? Isn't that the average credit score of working Amurrikkka?

Trinket January 26, 2011 at 4:23 pm

I am DELIGHTED to see this, because it is usually this same demographic that comprises, you know, the tea party and stuff.

sarabenincasa January 26, 2011 at 9:31 am

I must say, I enjoyed that speech. I AM GAY FOR BARRY!

horsedreamer_1 January 26, 2011 at 9:39 am

So, he is Dumbledore.

genxr January 26, 2011 at 10:25 am

And Shelly wants to be Severus Snape in the worst way.

BerkeleyBear January 26, 2011 at 11:20 am

Oh, come on now – she's Dolores Umbridge and you know it – right down to the cat tchochkies and the deep desire to make little boys bleed.

See, Barry's better than JK Rowling's twaddle, but I'm not.

Worthly Wokette Skum January 26, 2011 at 1:45 pm

And Kucinich is Professor Flitwick.

el_donaldo January 26, 2011 at 9:31 am

Did we already win the future? That was fast. Back to business as usual.

horsedreamer_1 January 26, 2011 at 9:39 am

Fox Mulder & Dana Scully have requested a unification bout.

LiveToServeYa January 26, 2011 at 9:52 am

Well, it's hard to lose the future since it's too big to misplace.

SorosBot January 26, 2011 at 9:31 am

Considering how some of the teabagger types believe magic actually exists, I can totally see some of them claiming that Obama really did put a spell (a voodoo spell, since they're also racists) on people to like him.

Oblios_Cap January 26, 2011 at 9:42 am

Their magic requires an invisible sky daddy-figure deity to work.

SorosBot January 26, 2011 at 9:51 am

Or an invisible underground evil deity figure, who corrupts the youth through Dungeons and Dragons and Harry Potter, which teach kids to cast spells using evil power. This is what fundamentalists actually believe.

genxr January 26, 2011 at 10:27 am

When your half-elf wizard character reaches 9th level, you get invited to join a real coven! But if you fail your saving throw you have to hang yourself in your bedroom. That's what makes AD&D fun for the whole family!

PsycWench January 26, 2011 at 10:24 am

Hey, one man's Hawaiian Dumbledore is another man's Kenyan Voldemort.

genxr January 26, 2011 at 10:28 am

I always saw Biden as the Ron Weasley type, myself.

BerkeleyBear January 26, 2011 at 11:23 am

Complete with the desire to say his name in a nasty way to establish their street cred.

"I'm not afraid of Barack Hooossane Obamer. There, I said it." Strides away quickly, hoping no one notices the stain or odor in their trousers.

PocketsTheClown January 26, 2011 at 9:32 am

He's actually pulling this centrist thing off? I gotta lay off the booze and pay attention.

BarryOPotter January 26, 2011 at 10:57 am

You don't have to do both, just pay more attention to your surroundings. The good thing is that it could also lead to fewer embarrassing situations that start "Where the hell am I and who are you?"

deanbooth January 26, 2011 at 9:33 am

she seemed almost like the telekinetic high school heroine of Carrie

Did I miss the bucket of blood? Of police officers, maybe?

genxr January 26, 2011 at 10:29 am

Everyone on Wonkette was home drinking and we totally forgot to bring a bucket.

LiveToServeYa January 26, 2011 at 9:34 am

Yep, he talks a good game, young Barry O. Now, 'scuse me while I push the button.

Wadisay January 26, 2011 at 9:36 am

Hmmmm, I wonder who else got a 92% approval rating on his speeches…let's see.

metamarcisf January 26, 2011 at 9:41 am

Carrot Top?

SudsMcKenzie January 26, 2011 at 9:44 am

John Blutarsky?

PocketsTheClown January 26, 2011 at 9:50 am

Sam Kinnison?

baconzgood January 26, 2011 at 9:54 am

Wonkbot?

Sharkey January 26, 2011 at 11:41 am

Basil Marceaux?

GOPCrusher January 26, 2011 at 12:24 pm

Jimmy Hoffa?

NorbertsRevenge January 26, 2011 at 9:37 am

Does this mean we can lock Bachmann in a closet while she prays?

LiveToServeYa January 26, 2011 at 9:40 am

Oooh, oooh, is she on her knees? Can there be duct-tape?

genxr January 26, 2011 at 10:31 am

I totally want to chastise her dirty pillows.

BerkeleyBear January 26, 2011 at 11:28 am

Only if you can find one Lindsey Graham hasn't claimed for him and his Congressional Repressed Caucus (hard to get an exact head count with all the tapping, bobbing and ducking, but according to staffers there's quite a few).

V572625694 January 26, 2011 at 9:39 am

In no way is Michele Bachmann the equivalent of Sissy Spacek.

Barbara_i January 26, 2011 at 9:50 am

Except when she goes all Carrie on us.

Monsieur_Grumpe January 26, 2011 at 9:57 am

I’m not sure about the comparison either but let’s keep her away from pig’s blood just to be safe.

LiveToServeYa January 26, 2011 at 10:29 am

She can certainly Carrie on, regardless.

horsedreamer_1 January 26, 2011 at 9:40 am

If previous regime collapses in Egypt are any guide, we will get some nice theatre out of it, at least.

Scott_san January 26, 2011 at 9:40 am

I wonder how many of those 92% watched either of the GOP responses. Either the one from the rising star in the Republican Party who presented daring ideas that no-one with any power will sign on to . . . or the one from that crazy lady.

freakishlywrong January 26, 2011 at 9:44 am

Anyone know what the current Conservative idiot du' jour Ryan said other than: "tax cuts, debts, deficits, hammocks, lazy browns". I couldn't take my eyes off his hairline. Dude has a serious Real Housewives of New Jersey vibe going on there. "Prostitution whooooorre!"

StillGoinGreen January 26, 2011 at 10:16 am

No shit – dude's happy trail starts at his forehead and goes down to his eyebrows. Eddie Munster called and wants his do back!

mattbenzing January 26, 2011 at 10:42 am

I thought he was going for a neo-Reagan hairstyle.

BerkeleyBear January 26, 2011 at 11:32 am

Day of Reckoning. Gotta have an Armageddon reference or people might actually not be scared into buying trickle down economics.

metamarcisf January 26, 2011 at 9:45 am

Overall, it was a good speech. I was, however, surprised and disappointed that he didn't deal specifically with the mystery meat scandal over at Taco Bell.

Barbara_i January 26, 2011 at 9:53 am

Barry is like a big beef mexi melt, a little soft on the outside, yet very appealing once you get down to the core.
Palin is just the $5.00 box.

cheetojeebus January 26, 2011 at 9:48 am

BTW Lord, who the fuck did Bachman's makeup? Ray Charles? geesus on a fuckin cracker. she looked like Mrs Lowry in "Brazil" http://movieclips.com/B5Lbv-brazil-movie-plastic-

hollywooddood January 26, 2011 at 10:53 am

The heavy, bad makeup and always being photographed with her mouth open is a teabaggers hot chick dream.

HolyMaracas January 26, 2011 at 9:48 am

Nice speech, Barry. Now where are the jerbs???

mranthrope January 26, 2011 at 9:48 am

Longest sentence on a Wonkette post ever?

"We are going to have to go with “magic,” because if all it takes is a decently presented State of the Union with a lot of optimistic pipe dreams and cheerleading for the beloved “troops” who continue to be stuck in two awful lost causes forever because the White House and Pentagon wants it that way, then magic is not limited to the wonderful world of Hogwarts and is now being practiced by our own “Hawaiian Dumbledore,” Barack Obama. "

HurricaneAli January 26, 2011 at 10:53 am

stream of consciousness.

Ken Layne January 26, 2011 at 11:19 am

And now I see that I've got "wants" instead of "want" in there, which I've now corrected …. because I added "White House and" before "Pentagon" and didn't fix "wants." Stream of consciousness? Not exactly, I just like long crazy sentences, and sometimes I edit them to make 'em longer, as I did in this case.

HurricaneAli January 26, 2011 at 12:10 pm

You mean you're NOT the Virginia Woolf of our generation? Well, okay, what you're doing is fine, then, too.

LiveToServeYa January 26, 2011 at 9:49 am

Hey, remember when Laughing George W. made Steroids In Baseball some sorta issue in a SOTU addy? Good times, good times. Now all we get are these goddammed space teachers.

V572625694 January 26, 2011 at 9:58 am

And human-animal hybrids! Bush II was all over that menace in one of his many SOTUs.

LiveToServeYa January 26, 2011 at 10:34 am

Yeah. That slacker, Barry, let human-animal hybrids get in congress and now it's run by an Orangeutan.

baconzgood January 26, 2011 at 9:56 am

I found it difficult to dance to.

Rambone January 26, 2011 at 9:57 am

"Viewers of the speech not only watched the president address both houses of Congress, but they also saw the first lady’s box"

Well, if this is the kind of conciliation efforts Barry's gonna make over the next couple of years, 92% approval is only the beginning.

ttommyunger January 26, 2011 at 10:06 am

Can't wait for Boehner and McConnell to start defending the poor helpless Oil Giants from Barry. The 'Merikan Peeples will sure get behind that shit; you betcha!

magic_titty January 26, 2011 at 10:08 am

Take that, Colin Firth.

finallyhappy January 26, 2011 at 10:15 am

I'm sorry- besides no trash talk about First Dog, BO- nothing but the highest praise and respect for Colin Firth. I think that about does it for my sensibilties on Wonkette.

Troubledog January 26, 2011 at 10:09 am

Speaking of world class trains, I must admit I was enthralled by the First Lady's caboose.

Limeylizzie January 26, 2011 at 10:10 am

Michelle Bachmann looked liike the love child of Skeletor and Katherine Harris.

baconzgood January 26, 2011 at 10:11 am

WHAT? Someone gave me down fists? Down fisted me Baconzgood! ME!!! I'll have no part of those kinda shenanigans. I'm a funny man! Hey Mr. Down Fisty Troll Type Personage, you like apples?

The jerk store just called, they're all out of YOU! How do you like dem apples NOW?

Punked!
(points to crotch)

SorosBot January 26, 2011 at 10:29 am

Although they've been mostly quiet, the fans of the big racist slanderer still lurk among us.

freakishlywrong January 26, 2011 at 10:32 am

A rising thumb raises all fists. Or something.

LiveToServeYa January 26, 2011 at 10:44 am

There. Thumbs up for ya. Your cries of outrage have touched my heart or sent a tingle up my leg.

baconzgood January 26, 2011 at 10:48 am

Thank's. That means alot comming from T.V.'s Frank

LiveToServeYa January 26, 2011 at 10:49 am

Livetoserveya!

mrblifil January 26, 2011 at 11:03 am

Take my thumb. TAKE IT DEEP

ManchuCandidate January 26, 2011 at 10:19 am

GOPer girls just seem to find out early
How to open doors with just a tongue
A failed Prenizt
And she won't have to worry
She'll get up in his face and go in deep

Late at night the big old house gets lonely
I guess every form of refuge has its price
And it breaks her heart to think her love is
Only given to a man with a brain as thick as shit

So she tells him she must Teabag for the evening
To comfort old white people who're feelin' down
But he knows where she's goin' as she's leavin'
She is headed for the crazy side of town

You can't hide your crazy eyes
And your smile is a thin disguise
I thought by now you'd realize
There ain't no way to hide your crazy eyes

cheaphits January 26, 2011 at 10:26 am

And a fine looking box it was.

Mumbletypeg January 26, 2011 at 10:36 am

Meh. Felt like too much primrose-path schtick. The whole winning meme, so misleading and useless goading schools in Race to the Top, now slapped onto another slogan “Win the Future.”
Win this win that. It’s that zero-sum pathology that reeks of hubris.
I miss the sincerity and plausibility that for some reason I assumed would come with the promise Barry represented.

This was the time to remember
But it did not last forever
Those were the days to hold onto
We won’t although we’ll want to

This is the time
But time is gonna change, Hopey~
You’ve given us the best of you;
Now we’re stuck with the rest of you

sati_demise January 26, 2011 at 11:46 am

so you would rather have Paul Ryan and crazy eyes? think about it.

Mumbletypeg January 26, 2011 at 11:59 am

But exactly. Knowing our alternatives are limited, what I see happening is a President who, instead of making difficult decisions in keeping with his promises, is going against numerous principles he campaigned on because what else are we gonna do about it? That's too easy. Too many examples to list here:… Silence about our obligations w/ other world powers on climate change redress;..lining his panels-of-advisers with Geithners, Bernankes' & fat-cat CEOs while Elizabeth Warren's and Paul Volckers get deep-sixed… I just feel I got taken.

GOPCrusher January 26, 2011 at 12:39 pm

Despite my better judgment, I did view the speech and the Ryan rebuttal.
Agree with your assessment on the entire "Win The Future" schtick. But, unfortunately, that's just the kind of thing that the modern American seems to lap up. Hence, the 92% approval rating. Maybe if Barry would have went with "Dancing With The Future", he could have hit 97%?
But if you look beyond the schtick, he did manage to get some fairly good shots in on the Republiklans on some of their campaign rhetoric.
This definetely is not the State Of The Union address that I would have liked to have seen at this point in Barry's Presidency, but considering the shape things are in now, I'll take it.

mrblifil January 26, 2011 at 11:02 am

I would have appreciated the speech more had Barry been willing to brandish a Glock menacingly at the combined House chambers while spouting biblical verses a la Samuel L Jackson. And THEN he could have called out the shooting hero…

NorthStarSpanx January 26, 2011 at 11:36 am

What was with all the big mind grape community college students in the chamber audience? We are an Exceptional Nation Obama, there you go again practicing apologetics – singing kumbaya and begging for foriners to let us keep our good hard workin jobs.

Why didn't you put Bristol Palin in the audience? She's our future. And Willow also.

SorosBot January 26, 2011 at 11:36 am

There's also the Gulf of Tonkin incident, "Remember the Maine!" and just plain lying about where the Mexico-Texas border was; America has quite a history of launching wars of conquest and selling them to populace using misleading or outright false propaganda.

hagajim January 26, 2011 at 11:37 am

Hey what's up everyone! Did I miss something? Didn't think so.

fuflans January 26, 2011 at 11:38 am

the superman song that comes to my mind this morning is the kinks – nine stone and cigarettes and all…

m_supercomputer January 26, 2011 at 11:39 am

Ahaha, I just booked a trip to Egypt for March, so of course this happened. My record for disasters and unrest wherever I decide to go on vacation remains unbroken!

sati_demise January 26, 2011 at 11:46 am

suck on that, big oil bitchez

Mariecohn January 26, 2011 at 12:17 pm

God, Ryan seems to think that America is a country, not a continent, much the same way Alaskunt thinks about Africa. English *is* Marie's first language, and she still had a miserable time trying to understand him. He talked to fast. It's clear he's getting the playbill wrong. RR said it's morning in America. PR seems to think America should be in mourning. God.

Pragmatist2 January 26, 2011 at 12:33 pm

Whoa! Whoa! Is Wonkette lampooning and regretting the fact that a few insipid and insincere words can get you what you want even though the last guy said pretty much the same thing and didn't deliver? My ENTIRE love life has been built on this notion and I don't want anyone attacking it.

HolyMaracas January 26, 2011 at 12:50 pm

Great pic of Superman posing as Barry.

teebob2000 January 26, 2011 at 4:20 pm

The Egyptians ARE revolting! You ever stood next to one?? Sheesh!!!

Except of course for my Mummy.

ohgrateone January 26, 2011 at 11:17 pm

Obama should have had different people in Michelle's SOU box: For example: PRES: Standing next to Michelle is Mike Cristal! Mike was a skilled aerospace sheet metal worker! Noe he drives a taxi! He did beautiful work, riveting sections of the Boeing 737 jet liner tail assembly! My friends at Boeing tell me that they are laying off 900 workers at the Boeing, Long Beach, California plant! You might ask….. can't we put Americans like Mike to work, building the 737 tails in Long Beach? THe answer is no…. because the complete tail assembly for each 737 is built in… CHINA!!! Including the US Navy's version of the aircraft, the P-8!
That's right, fellow Americans, the tails section, including that big proud fin that says "US NAVY" on it, of every P-8, is built in China! The question is….. should Boeing keep skilled American aerospace workers like Mike employed at $24 an hour, or should the work on the US Navy planes be sent to Communist China, where workers are paid $3 an hour?
That's the question all of us must face, and I will address it by repeating lots of touchy-feely feel-good words, but just like George Bush, don't expect me to do much about it!
Keep up the good work, Mike!

Negropolis January 27, 2011 at 12:23 am

I think with that comment by the NYT, they may have made their way back into my good graces, or at least back into the competition for my good graces.

Carrie, indeed.

ttommyunger January 26, 2011 at 12:15 pm

We spilled very little, shared even less.

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