funny pictures

All Eyes Will Be On Michelle Obama’s ‘Box’ Tonight

For the first time, it will not only be a question of who is in it, but what. Unfortunately, the Washington Post has replaced this photo and caption. Whatever could have been the matter with it? Health news is just as important as politics.

But the subtext is the same with this sexy hero doctor, right?

'McDonald's,' or whatever people used to call that doctor guy on that ABC doctor show

She will sit on a desert island by herself where nobody has invented sex, the end. [WP via Wonkette operative “Juli Weiner”]

About the author

Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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  1. jus_wonderin

    I heard that on NPR this morning, before I had had my coffee. I put up a Post-it to remind me.

  2. SharifDelMonte

    No, no, its a basketball reference! Have you ever seen President Boyfriend and the FLOTUS playing one-one-one? NO! Why? Because she's unstoppable in the post! Don't you remember that interview where she dunked on Robin Roberts?

    1. Fare la Volpe

      Don't worry. Even if Barry did, he'd just offer you to keep screwing her for the next two years until you two can work out a compromise.

      1. angryclownspawn

        Right, the compromise being you just keep on doing whatever you want and he will talk about how well you are working together. Meanwhile, you will be allowed to talk about how much of a muslin socialist he is and how much you enjoyed Michelle's box.

    2. Jukesgrrl

      He'll get an RIAA lawyer to sue you — but you'll be bored to death before you ever get to jail.

  3. baconzgood

    [Spit take]

    So no one at the Post understands double entendre? What pamphlet did this person mail in to get into journalism school? Or maybe he's a secret Wonker?

        1. Bonzos_Bed_Time

          Spokane Community College and transfer to University of Phoenix.

          Not that there's anything wrong with that.

  4. magic_titty

    Is there a Chuck Berry Cam in the White House bathroom? Or am I thinking about the wrong thing?

  5. slithytoves

    For the first time, it will not only be a question of who is in it, but also what.

    I have never found a who and a what in my box at the same time. If who is in the box, then I prefer that what stay in the side drawer.

    1. SorosBot

      I've seen some videos online where both what and who have been used in the box at the same time, though.

  6. SorosBot

    And here I thought we'd just be looking at the GOP displaying its Boehner behind the President the whole time.

    1. Not_So_Much

      Holy shit, hadn't thought of the hue and contrast adjustments that's going to require. I need to go find my black and white set with the rabbit-ears.

  7. MozakiBlocks

    Hasn't Barry been in Michelle's box already? My high school biology class taught me that's how babies get made? Do Kenyan Muslins do things differently?

    I really just wrote a joke, albeit a poor one about the President and First Lady's sex life without having to bleach my brain. Now that's change I can believe it!!!!

  8. SayItWithWookies

    "No Mr. President, the flange goes over the escarpment — uh, or so I've read on Wikipedia."

  9. bitchincamaro2

    If the WaPo insists on using the term "box" for The First Lady's lady parts, can we refer to Bachman's hoohaw as a "shipping container"?

    1. 4TheTurnstiles

      It's her hatchetwound. From a visit to Alaska w/ Sarah "women's issues" Palin.

      the other "scar" you might see nearby was from hunting with Cheney… not so keen with a rifle either

    2. Extemporanus

      I once referred to Christine O'Donnell's hoohaw as–and I'm paraphrasing from memory here because my profanely poetic comment apparently done got eated by the administrator for some inexplicable reason (haha, oops!)–a "rusty fucking leaky shipping container that reeks of somethingsomething and somethingorother illegals."

      But if you'd prefer to apply that shit to Bachmann's slit, I doubt that O'Donnell would much object.

  10. SmutBoffin

    Juli Weiner? I remember her! The sullen-looking, funny lady. What happened to her?

    Anyway, Stuef is our sullen mistress, now.

    1. elviouslyqueer

      Oh NOW you've gone and done it. We should expect a visit from OneTrueLibrul any second now. Thanks for nothing, Sharif.

      1. SharifDelMonte

        I don't know who OneTruLibrul is, so I can't really address that, but I must complain about your historical reference: NOW wasn't founded until well after Mrs. Roosevelt was 1st lady, so any of them them having "gone and done it" to her is revisionism. You should of said, "That slander was WAAC!" or, "Sir, your comment wasn't as riveting as you think!"

    1. elviouslyqueer

      Not if Andrew Breitbart has anything to say about it, he won't.

      (Sorry Riley! Don't ban me, bro! *blows kisses*)

  11. Extemporanus

    You can titter and giggle until you pee yourselves, word pervs, but I happen to believe that a quantum mechanics thought experiment of this sort describes the state of our union better than any dry, empty speech ever could.

    1. Tommmcatt

      Nah. I'd rather titter and giggle. Oh, and Dr. Sexx there? He'd remember me and our weekend of hot, Discovery-Channel sex for the rest of his life….

  12. el_donaldo

    I believe the President Mack Daddy is explaining to the MILF how he will record their post SOTU threesome with Michelle via that handmade digital video recorder, and that the recording will remain classified in the National Archives until long after her parents are dead.

  13. hagajim

    We might as well all look at her box every chance we get, cause Barry ain't gonna say anything interesting.

  14. LionelHutzEsq

    I don't know what is happening with Michelle's box. All I know is that it made Speaker Boehner cry.

  15. Ruhe

    "Hmm", the President said, contemplating the device carefully. "I can give you an estimate of what a dealer might pay for it but it's hard to know how much higher it could go at auction. But let me get the Keeno brothers in on this. It's kind of their field of expertise."

  16. Worthly Wokette Skum

    Next on Antiques Road Show: an authentic Victorian SteamPunk vibrator is valued at $10,000.

  17. Negropolis

    I hope there is a whole litter of babies in that box. That's what they do when a TV show is going down in the ratings. You add a cute child.

Comments are closed.