FUNNY PICTURES  3:01 pm January 25, 2011

All Eyes Will Be On Michelle Obama’s ‘Box’ Tonight

by Jack Stuef

'Hmm.'
For the first time, it will not only be a question of who is in it, but what. Unfortunately, the Washington Post has replaced this photo and caption. Whatever could have been the matter with it? Health news is just as important as politics.

But the subtext is the same with this sexy hero doctor, right?

'McDonald's,' or whatever people used to call that doctor guy on that ABC doctor show

She will sit on a desert island by herself where nobody has invented sex, the end. [WP via Wonkette operative "Juli Weiner"]

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 69 comments }

jus_wonderin January 25, 2011 at 3:04 pm

I heard that on NPR this morning, before I had had my coffee. I put up a Post-it to remind me.

SharifDelMonte January 25, 2011 at 3:07 pm

No, no, its a basketball reference! Have you ever seen President Boyfriend and the FLOTUS playing one-one-one? NO! Why? Because she's unstoppable in the post! Don't you remember that interview where she dunked on Robin Roberts?

SexySmurf January 25, 2011 at 3:09 pm

Is Barack going to put his chief of staff in Michelle's box?

Extemporanus January 25, 2011 at 3:56 pm

Obama's mama always said, "Life is like a box of chocolate."

Oblios_Cap January 25, 2011 at 3:11 pm

I'd love to take a crack at the Flotus' box. As long as her hubby didn't find out, of course.

jus_wonderin January 25, 2011 at 3:12 pm

Black Helicopters and Area61….for you!!!

Fare la Volpe January 25, 2011 at 3:15 pm

Don't worry. Even if Barry did, he'd just offer you to keep screwing her for the next two years until you two can work out a compromise.

angryclownspawn January 25, 2011 at 3:44 pm

Right, the compromise being you just keep on doing whatever you want and he will talk about how well you are working together. Meanwhile, you will be allowed to talk about how much of a muslin socialist he is and how much you enjoyed Michelle's box.

Jukesgrrl January 25, 2011 at 4:05 pm

He'll get an RIAA lawyer to sue you — but you'll be bored to death before you ever get to jail.

baconzgood January 25, 2011 at 3:11 pm

[Spit take]

So no one at the Post understands double entendre? What pamphlet did this person mail in to get into journalism school? Or maybe he's a secret Wonker?

Bonzos_Bed_Time January 25, 2011 at 3:14 pm

He spent eight years as a Communications major.

Jukesgrrl January 25, 2011 at 4:07 pm

At the University of Idaho.

Bonzos_Bed_Time January 25, 2011 at 5:51 pm

Spokane Community College and transfer to University of Phoenix.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Fare la Volpe January 25, 2011 at 3:11 pm

Oh yeah, he's thinkin' it…and it's good.

jus_wonderin January 25, 2011 at 3:13 pm

The charming asian is named…Peter.

magic_titty January 25, 2011 at 3:15 pm

Is there a Chuck Berry Cam in the White House bathroom? Or am I thinking about the wrong thing?

slithytoves January 25, 2011 at 3:17 pm

For the first time, it will not only be a question of who is in it, but also what.

I have never found a who and a what in my box at the same time. If who is in the box, then I prefer that what stay in the side drawer.

CalamityJames January 25, 2011 at 5:10 pm

Hahaha, stick in the mud! Ha, sometimes the buttsecks jokes write themselves.

mavenmaven January 25, 2011 at 5:16 pm

Who's on third base.

genxr January 25, 2011 at 5:50 pm

That's our short-stop! *rimshot*

Gleem_McShineys January 25, 2011 at 6:04 pm

President Hu?

SorosBot January 25, 2011 at 5:33 pm

I've seen some videos online where both what and who have been used in the box at the same time, though.

SorosBot January 25, 2011 at 3:18 pm

And here I thought we'd just be looking at the GOP displaying its Boehner behind the President the whole time.

baconzgood January 25, 2011 at 3:21 pm

That's what you get on NBC. You need the Pay-Per-View.

Fare la Volpe January 25, 2011 at 3:21 pm

Too small. Blocked by the C-SPAN logo.

Not_So_Much January 25, 2011 at 4:50 pm

Holy shit, hadn't thought of the hue and contrast adjustments that's going to require. I need to go find my black and white set with the rabbit-ears.

MozakiBlocks January 25, 2011 at 3:18 pm

Hasn't Barry been in Michelle's box already? My high school biology class taught me that's how babies get made? Do Kenyan Muslins do things differently?

I really just wrote a joke, albeit a poor one about the President and First Lady's sex life without having to bleach my brain. Now that's change I can believe it!!!!

SayItWithWookies January 25, 2011 at 3:18 pm

"No Mr. President, the flange goes over the escarpment — uh, or so I've read on Wikipedia."

baconzgood January 25, 2011 at 3:20 pm

Tee-Hee

"BOX"

Come here a minute January 25, 2011 at 3:26 pm

Sadly, Michele Bachmann's box is ignored again.

jus_wonderin January 25, 2011 at 3:28 pm

Though, Sarah will be the victim (or Willow).

Ruhe January 25, 2011 at 4:49 pm

Victim in what sense, Katie? Surely you're not speaking of the dreaded FLOTUS Dentata?

genxr January 25, 2011 at 5:51 pm

Michele Bachmann should move to Alaska, where her box will get the vigorous attention it deserves.

Monsieur_Grumpe January 25, 2011 at 3:29 pm

Please read in the voice of Paul Lynde or Roger the alien…
“Oh that’s not right.”

jus_wonderin January 25, 2011 at 3:33 pm
Monsieur_Grumpe January 25, 2011 at 3:39 pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSzMulM3lkg

Oh yeah? Take that!
Really, I'm not old enough to know who Paul Lynde is.

Hank_Hanson January 25, 2011 at 3:31 pm

Jack Stuef, STFU!!!
Sorry, I've been trolling on Fox Nation and I get all worked up.

bitchincamaro2 January 25, 2011 at 3:32 pm

If the WaPo insists on using the term "box" for The First Lady's lady parts, can we refer to Bachman's hoohaw as a "shipping container"?

edgydrifter January 25, 2011 at 3:51 pm

Wind tunnel.

Monsieur_Grumpe January 25, 2011 at 4:01 pm

The great Sahara desert.

genxr January 25, 2011 at 5:52 pm

Sahara Palin?

Bonzos_Bed_Time January 25, 2011 at 4:03 pm

Lava tube

Monsieur_Grumpe January 25, 2011 at 4:33 pm

Bozo's Fun House

SexySmurf January 25, 2011 at 4:11 pm

The Gaping Maw of Hell. And outside is a sign: "Abandon hope all who enter here."

4TheTurnstiles January 25, 2011 at 4:18 pm

It's her hatchetwound. From a visit to Alaska w/ Sarah "women's issues" Palin.

the other "scar" you might see nearby was from hunting with Cheney… not so keen with a rifle either

Extemporanus January 25, 2011 at 6:35 pm

I once referred to Christine O'Donnell's hoohaw as–and I'm paraphrasing from memory here because my profanely poetic comment apparently done got eated by the administrator for some inexplicable reason (haha, oops!)–a "rusty fucking leaky shipping container that reeks of somethingsomething and somethingorother illegals."

But if you'd prefer to apply that shit to Bachmann's slit, I doubt that O'Donnell would much object.

SmutBoffin January 25, 2011 at 3:37 pm

Juli Weiner? I remember her! The sullen-looking, funny lady. What happened to her?

Anyway, Stuef is our sullen mistress, now.

SharifDelMonte January 25, 2011 at 3:41 pm

Not since the days of Eleanor Roosevelt was so much attention paid to a first lady's box.

elviouslyqueer January 25, 2011 at 3:49 pm

Oh NOW you've gone and done it. We should expect a visit from OneTrueLibrul any second now. Thanks for nothing, Sharif.

SharifDelMonte January 25, 2011 at 4:02 pm

I don't know who OneTruLibrul is, so I can't really address that, but I must complain about your historical reference: NOW wasn't founded until well after Mrs. Roosevelt was 1st lady, so any of them them having "gone and done it" to her is revisionism. You should of said, "That slander was WAAC!" or, "Sir, your comment wasn't as riveting as you think!"

nounverb911 January 25, 2011 at 3:46 pm

Isn't it 4PM in England?

weejee January 25, 2011 at 3:47 pm

Will Riley be in the FLOTUS's box tonight?

elviouslyqueer January 25, 2011 at 3:54 pm

Not if Andrew Breitbart has anything to say about it, he won't.

(Sorry Riley! Don't ban me, bro! *blows kisses*)

Extemporanus January 25, 2011 at 3:50 pm

You can titter and giggle until you pee yourselves, word pervs, but I happen to believe that a quantum mechanics thought experiment of this sort describes the state of our union better than any dry, empty speech ever could.

Tommmcatt January 25, 2011 at 3:54 pm

Nah. I'd rather titter and giggle. Oh, and Dr. Sexx there? He'd remember me and our weekend of hot, Discovery-Channel sex for the rest of his life….

weejee January 25, 2011 at 3:55 pm

And I thought the Obama's had a dog, not Schrodinger's live-dead cat.

jus_wonderin January 25, 2011 at 4:02 pm

And how are we to be sure the cat is even in the box when the lid is closed???

GOPCrusher January 25, 2011 at 4:07 pm

HUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUH….you said tit.

sati_demise January 25, 2011 at 5:36 pm

tittering and giggling keep me from dying.

el_donaldo January 25, 2011 at 3:57 pm

I believe the President Mack Daddy is explaining to the MILF how he will record their post SOTU threesome with Michelle via that handmade digital video recorder, and that the recording will remain classified in the National Archives until long after her parents are dead.

Jukesgrrl January 25, 2011 at 4:08 pm

Just so there aren't any Alaskans near the box because they'll get all fighty and rapey.

hagajim January 25, 2011 at 4:12 pm

We might as well all look at her box every chance we get, cause Barry ain't gonna say anything interesting.

4TheTurnstiles January 25, 2011 at 4:19 pm

joke all you want, I would love to spend a night being very kind to the first lady's thought experiments.

this is a thought experiment of my own…

teebob2000 January 25, 2011 at 4:39 pm

Jack > everything with the top picture alt-text. Well done.

LionelHutzEsq January 25, 2011 at 4:52 pm

I don't know what is happening with Michelle's box. All I know is that it made Speaker Boehner cry.

Ruhe January 25, 2011 at 4:53 pm

"Hmm", the President said, contemplating the device carefully. "I can give you an estimate of what a dealer might pay for it but it's hard to know how much higher it could go at auction. But let me get the Keeno brothers in on this. It's kind of their field of expertise."

sati_demise January 25, 2011 at 5:33 pm

you may be freakishly right.

Worthly Wokette Skum January 25, 2011 at 7:15 pm

Next on Antiques Road Show: an authentic Victorian SteamPunk vibrator is valued at $10,000.

Negropolis January 26, 2011 at 12:53 am

I hope there is a whole litter of babies in that box. That's what they do when a TV show is going down in the ratings. You add a cute child.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: