Wasilla City Hall.Here’s something that won’t surprise anyone, but is still disgusting and horrible: Alaska is America’s Capital of Rape! Sexual assault is basically the main activity, following “drinking for seven or eight days straight because you can’t tell if it’s day or night” and “buying meth in the WalMart parking lot after buying pot and Taco Bell from the Taco Bell drive-thru” and “buying Oxycontin from Levi’s mom to come down.” Alaska! It’s America by Heart Force! Nearly half of Alaskan women say they’ve been beat up by their man (or woman?) and 37% say they’ve been raped. This is kind of incredible. If Alaska was a foreign nation instead of America’s mosquitoes & ice correctional colony, Bush would’ve invaded to protect their human rights! (And Cheney would’ve bombed every town to ruins — bombed into more “ruins” than Alaskan towns are right now, we mean.)

The Anchorage Daily News reports:

Andre Rosay of the UAA Justice Center told the senators that these numbers are “astonishingly high.” The numbers are based on a survey of 871 adult Alaska women in May and June of 2010, called the 2010 Alaska Victimization Survey. Both Rosay and Lauree Morton, interim director of the state Council on Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault, said even those staggering numbers are almost certainly conservative.

Sen. Hollis French asked Morton if the numbers surprised her. “Sen. French, no,” Morton replied. She said people working in the field have long known that Alaska numbers were high. The survey — which had women reporting sexual assault at about 10 times the rate sexual assault is reported to police — only quantified what many Alaskans have known or suspected. Still, the numbers shock.

If you’re some shallow hack like Dana Milbank, this is the point when you write some link bait saying, “Well I hope you don’t bring Sarah Palin into this,” and this is the time when we actually delete you from the Internet. Poof! No more Dana Milbank on the Internet! (Ha ha he is actually like No. 1,982,348 on our list of people to magically disappear on the Internet.) Anyway, here is why Sarah Palin is awful in this case, too:

When Sarah Palin was mayor of her little exurb, she allowed her police department to charge rape victims for the price of a forensic rape kit. Here in this white trash apocalypse state where half the women are being savagely beaten by the scumtards they live with and more than one in three have actually been raped, the mayor of Wasilla — and a woman, too — wanted to further humiliate and punish the women of her hometown who had been raped. The real goal, of course, was to keep women from reporting sexual assault to police. Stay in your double wide and take your rapin’, Alaskan ladies, because Sarah Palin doesn’t want you making a fuss. (The kits cost up to 1,200 dollars each.)

GAH. [ADN/Yahoo News]

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  • nounverb911

    Did she make the police charge for drug tests too? Otherwise Wasilla would have gone bankrupt.

  • neiltheblaze

    How's that rapey, methy thing going for ya?

  • walstib

    Obvs a lie. If'n it were true, Todd would've been out a rapin' random bigguns instead of payin' 'em fer pushin' time.

    I'm just sayin…

    And also, too.

    • OneDollarJuana

      I'm thinking you gotta pay for one that has teeth.

    • Mrspanky

      I'm guessing that The First Dude is paying for road beef so he can have something to do while wifey wows another bunch of dupes on the Lower 48 Rubber Chicken Circuit ( brought to us by Faux News).

      Since rumor has is that Todd and Sarah have an "open marriage", and are probably swingers, I don't think he has to pay in AK.

  • V572625694

    I'm guessing the "2010 Alaska Victimization Survey" didn't start with any ax to grind or anything, but was totally objective. Which isn't say the results aren't credible.

    And as a word-nerd dog whistle note: "victimization" is a stupid, stupid word, even when spoken in native Bureaucratese.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Well, surveys like this are notoriously hard to be entirely reliable because they usually rely on a (relatively) small sample from which they can extrapolate bigger numbers and percentages relative to the entire population. And they're usually objective, except for the fact that they almost always embarrass politicians by showing them the extent of a problem that the pols have known about for fucking DECADES but have either ignored or chronically underfunded.

      Sorry no snark, but I do a lot of research work in sexual assault and domestic violence, so I'm glad to see Alaska finally owning up to how bad this is up there. Oh, and fuck Sarah Palin with a Drano-encrusted truncheon, also.

      • V572625694

        Snark aside, I agree. It's just that the name was over the top. Anything they can do against the violence and rape is good.Eight-hundred responses ought to produce fairly high reliability out of AK's 600K population.

        • Negropolis

          Do you seriously think that they phoned these women and asked them if they wanted to be part of the "Alaska Victimization Survey"? Sounds to me that the name most likely came later. Really, that post of yours was really kind of tacky, and you weren't being snarky at all. You were being serious.

    • Lost_Teabaggers

      Also, what was the correction coefficient and margin of error? Since this study establishes a high % cross referenced against actual marginal rates of domestic violence and rape in previous years was it an outlier? If so, then I agree and if not, then I'm guessing though the wording is bit…iffy it's probably a solid study. Oh and since Alaska is America's pisshole of insanity (I love doing customer service calls for Alaskans, especially when updating a person's data on file) I'm guessing the numbers are probably statistically reliable…but I'd like to see the data and formulas used myself. Oh and Sarah Palin can eat a raw bag of shit with a rat dick chaser, why do wingnut women hate their own gender so much, I'm asking?

    • ShaveTheWhales

      While I agree that "victimization" is not the most elegant word in the English language (even if it is in the English language), I interpreted its use as being the social variable whose incidence they were trying to measure, not necessarily a political statement. I regard it as unfortunate shorthand for, perhaps, "Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence", to use EQ's phrase below.

      I certainly hope that they didn't start by asking their randomized prospective study subjects if they wanted to participate in a "Victimization Survey".

  • chascates

    The State to Nowhere.

  • baconzgood

    And Todd's been paying for it?

    • Oblios_Cap

      But was he slapping Mooselini around to make up for it? Enquiring minds want to know!

      • Lost_Teabaggers

        Haha @ Mooselini, that's awesome.

  • Crank_Tango

    The best part about it all is that the rape is subsidized by the federal government. Except for the rape kits, natch.

  • jim89048

    Alaska is about as Merkin as the Northern Mariannas. It's best described as a foreign country populated by Texans. Too bad the AIP didn't prevail way back in 1959.

    • Lost_Teabaggers

      No shit…if they'd have been effective Wasillabilly would be preznit of Ala-skaaa, that's too funny for words.

    • zhubajie

      If Alaska had gotten independence in 1959, it'd be a northern Nigeria, but without the music!

      • jim89048

        But Alaskunt's family would never have moved there, which I would count in the plus column. She would've been just another odd duck white supremacist in northern Idaho…

  • Ha ha he is actually like No. 1,982,348 on our list of people to magically disappear on the Internet.

    The Washington Post should be deleted from the Internet.

    • jim89048

      It already has been, on my computers.

  • Extemporanus

    I'm sorry, but the state was kinda asking for it.

    • baconzgood

      "I thought she said 'snow' not 'no'. "

      • Extemporanus

        "Snow means snow!"

        Seriously though, Eskimos have, like, forty different words for "no". Who the fuck can remember them all?

    • LionelHutzEsq

      Yeah, but all of Alaska's friends dress like Ho's too. I mean, just look at Florida.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Having lived in Alaska back in 70 and 71, I can only imagine it's more of a shithole now than it was back then. And i lived in Anchorage, which is probably the most livable town in the state.

    It was great leaving and coming back to America.

  • OC_Surf_Serf

    Note to self: Add 'banjo-players' to list of insults for Alaskans

    • It takes talent to play a musical instrument.

      • Sophist [APPLAUSE]

        That or a punishing lack of self awareness. Damn Dunning–Kruger effect.

  • not that Dewey

    White trash goin, messin up my brain
    Oh, white trash is gonna drive me insane

  • bitchincamaro2

    How does a pillbilly get all rapey with that chronically droopy dingus? I don't get it.

    • jim89048

      Meth-sex is freaking awesome! Or so I've heard.

      • SmutBoffin

        I thought you wrote 'math-sex' at first. This made me confused and aroused.

        • bitchincamaro2

          Yeah. Long division is so hawt.

          • SorosBot

            Math sex sounds like sex with Danicia McKellar, which would be incredibly hot.

        • Math Sex is when you grind in 7/8 and it's hard to find the "One." Or is that Math Rock?

          • bitchincamaro2

            I had a cousin who was ate before she was seven.

          • Ever tried to fuck along with Tool? Yeah, me either.


  • edgydrifter

    Did they also document the frequency of Alaskan households with teen daughter impregnatoriums, or is that just a Palin thing?

  • Frost/Nixon/Robocop

    Real American Heroism! East coast liberal men are too weak willed to show their women who's boss!

    • Lost_Teabaggers

      Alaska's state joke: Whadday tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothin' you haven't already told her twice.

  • baconzgood

    I can see sexual assault from my house.

    • edgydrifter

      In Alaska, you can probably see it IN your house.

      • horsedreamer_1

        Andy & Willow, but the perp isn't whom you're thinking.

  • magic_titty

    The number of reported sexual assaults would have been higher if more victims had gone to the police…but they knew they couldn't afford to pay for the rape kit.

    • SmutBoffin

      I bet we could eliminate crime entirely in this country if we just charged victims for the cost of the investigation and prosecution!

      Poof! All gone.

  • What's the big dill?

  • Ah the majestic part of Sarah Palin's Shitlaska TLC doesn't want to show you.

  • freakishlywrong

    even those staggering numbers are almost certainly conservative
    Fuck Jesus. Even their goddamn rape and assault numbers are "conservative".

  • Oblios_Cap

    Sen. Hollis

    Damn, I miss Northern Exposure.

  • SayItWithWookies

    “Sen. French, no,” Morton replied.

    Senator French was conducting his own investigation, apparently.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Now Ken, you're being entirely too hard on Snowbilly. After all, mayoring and governing iz HARD. Besides that, Sarah would call bullshit on this whole report because it involves numbers and hard data and stuff, dontcha know.

  • bflrtsplk

    Yes, Bush and Cheney would have invaded. Can't have all that rape goin' on when there's all that oil underneath it.

    • Lost_Teabaggers

      Yes and they want in on all of that action. Like when someone (I can't remember who….Dick Durbin?) opined: "They invaded Iraq and closed down Saddam's rape rooms only to open them under new management". Oil + Rape possibilities= "We're fightin' 'em over there so we don't have ta fight 'em over hereeee". Also is there anyway the very moral Eric Prince can guard the rapee and rip-offy Halliburton crew they send in post invasion?

  • Midway117

    Even the dumb criminals are smart enough to realize that America is just not paying for law enforcement anymore. It's probably best if we all carry around our own gun and rape kit and attend a Webinar on hostage negotiating tactics. Just in case.

    • DashboardBuddha

      True dat…especially in Camden, NJ.

  • SmutBoffin

    Jesus. That's worse than Wisconsin, where the spousal abuse rates are strongly correlated with the W/L record of the Green Bay Packers and the favorite hobby of U.W. students is sexually assaulting their classmates.

    • jim89048

      I'm sure they're proud of women like that.

  • OneYieldRegular

    The Conservative Manifesto: just cut every government program that could possibly improve or protect people's lives or least allow them to live with dignity and without humiliation, and think of the wads of $$ we'll save. For ourselves.

  • The wife-beating thing is common in many rural areas, or at least all the ones I've lived in. It's Real America.

    • SorosBot

      And sadly, it's pretty much condoned; it's depressing to know that so much of America has a 1890s view on women's rights.

      • Negropolis

        It really does sound like rural India, except that we're supposed to be so enlightened and modern here in America. :rolleyes:

  • magic_titty

    I think maybe Sarah Palin thought rape kits had, like, free makeup or coupons to Talbots in them…and she was just jealous.

  • Sorry, but you are all wrong. Alaska is a whimsical place full of eccentric existentialists and over educated curmudgeons…and a Jewish Doctor, also.

  • GOPCrusher

    This should pretty much lock in the women's vote for Bible Spice in the 2012 election.

  • SorosBot

    Palin's response is that Alaska was wearing a short skirt and had been drinking too much, so it was really asking for it.

  • MrsBiggTime

    So Greta and Todd are out snow-machining, and Greta's snow machine breaks down. Todd comes to help.
    After a few minutes troubleshooting Todd has an answer. "Looks like you blew a seal," he tells Greta.
    "Nah, that's just frost on my mustache," Greta replies.
    So he rapes her. The end.

    I know, totally unrelated. Just wanted to get a Greta-blowjob joke in before the deadline.

    • mrpuma2u

      That made me guffaw. Thank you for sharing.

  • Jukesgrrl

    What's Amnesty International doing with all that money I gave them?

  • RedneckMuslin

    They asked 871 adult Alaska women . So they asked ALL the women in Alaska then?

  • HolyMaracas

    I'm starting to side with the Tundra Twat here. I mean, If I had to choose between becoming a multimillionaire and governing this wonderful state, it would be a no brainer.

  • SorosBot

    This shouldn't be surprising from the state that elected the snowbilly; like George Bush and 1984, Palin read "The Handmaid's Tale" and thought it described a utopia.

  • Rape is the libertarian form of sex.

    • Negropolis

      Not sure how this missed out on all of the good pee-ness. It's one of the better posts of this thread, becaue it's true.

  • metamarcisf

    Thanks, Wonkette. You'd think the right wing media would be on top of this story like a Palin on a lumberjack, but so far, nothing.

    • mrpuma2u

      Hey saw you out on and what not, I am out there sometimes as well, baiting the righties. Good job with the jibes.

      Don't you mean like Palin on a photo op? Methinks she is a bigger media whore than actual whore.

  • johnnymeatworth

    So you're saying it's time for that gritty urban reboot of Northern Exposure?

  • My father grew up in rural-ass Iowa, in a town of no more than 100 people (including outlying farms). The way he tells it, it was a microcosm of misery: there were alcoholics, wife beaters, and pedophiles (one of whom was a gym teacher), plus incest and a creepy guy in the post office who fondled teenage girls.

    Good ol' small town America!

    • I'm afraid this goes way beyond Eugene and Rusty.

  • OzoneTom

    Chargin' for rape kits and she STILL couldn't balance the Wasilla city budget?

    I gotta forward this great user-fee idea on to Jan Brewer.

  • horsedreamer_1

    Juneau means Juneau.

  • Redhead

    Palin is the same woman who said domestic violence was not a priority and that it was not worth it to spend money on efforts to reduce domestic violence and sexual assault.

    Maybe because she was spending that money, and the rape kit money, hiring private investigators and security for her family/sister.

    Combine that with her running mate, good ol' trollopy Walnuts, who thinks rape is funny joke material, and it makes me want to vomit. Sorry, no snark, just disgust at this piece of shit selfish brat who thinks she can be called a feminist just because she is a woman, even though she's not only indifferent to the issues women face, but actively making life harder for women. So gee, it's really shocking that something Palin acknowledged years ago (while saying that it wasn't a priority or worth spending money on) hasn't gotten any better in the mean time.

    So I want this shitstain to reimburse the police for the resources they used catching the guy that hacked her e-mail account. I mean every cent. Did they spend gas going out to catch the guy? Going out to interview her? Pay for it Sarah! Did they subpeona information from Yahoo? Did Yahoo charge them for the information? Pay it Sarah! Did they print out information from her e-mail account? Better pay them for the paper and ink. Because I sure as hell don't think her e-mail account was a priority – and in fact, I think she was asking for it to be hacked – so why are these things being paid with public money? SOCIALISM!

    Oh and let's not start on Bristol. Look Sarah, just because your whore of a daughter never learned how to keep her twat closed doesn't mean that it's always consensual for every woman. Some of them actually learn to say no – and then this shit happened anyway.

    • SorosBot

      I guess it shouldn't be surprising, since opposition to choice and treating domestic violence and rape as if they're not a big deal (or even condoning them) usually go hand in hand; it's almost as if the "pro-life" movement really is all about keeping women as second-class citizens and not protecting the precious little blastocysts.

      • Redhead

        Wait, what? You're saying that the people who think women can't make reproductive decisions about their own bodies are the same people who think raping and hitting women is no big deal?

        Well smack my ass and call my Shirley. Next thing you'll be telling me that these are the same people who want to only teach abstinence in schools so young girls and young women won't know about effective birth control, making them more likely to accidentally get pregnant and then be forced to have the kid.

        It's almost like they want to force women back into the role they held 100 years ago, confined to kitchens and baby makin'. But I just know THAT can't be right, not from the group that's also advocating a return to a time when dem dark skinned fellers were treated as property (while making racial slurs).

  • LionelHutzEsq

    Well, you have to admit that Sarah Palin has a point. If women didn't want to be raped, they should arm themselves.

    Anyway, I assume that she simply thought they were kits to help men with rape, and saw this as a way to enhance Wasilla's revenue base. It was a very conservative thing to do.

    Wasilla: Come for the Meth, Stay for the Rape!

  • Eve8Apples

    We finally found a topic Sarah Palin refuses to comment upon. Let's talk about Alaska rape more often.

  • AntonovBureau

    I've never been to Alaska, but I am reasonably confident I have been gang-raped by it.

  • Ducksworthy

    Thanks for this post Ken. I'd forgotten about the charging for rape kits. But you have to admit that would help keep the reporting rate down so maybe that was her strategy for dealing with the problem.

  • VeraSevera

    “buying meth in the WalMart parking lot after buying pot and Taco Bell from the Taco Bell drive-thru”–Tweakers with an appetite? What's wrong with this picture?

  • SmutBoffin

    The angle of the dangle is proportional to the cube of the boob times the mass of the ass.

  • genxr

    Now I understand why she wanted rape victims to pay for their own forensic kits. At these rates, the entire state would have gone broke.

  • BornInATrailer

    Drill baby, drill indeed.

  • JustPixelz

    Now the lame-stream-media will high-tech rape Sarah Palin for Alaska's crime rate while she was governor. As if her decisions and priorities and judgements were somehow connected to the quality of life under her administration. When she says "reload" she means, "take viagra". And those cross-hairs are merely part of the ♀ symbol for "female".

  • randoracer

    Dang. When I was in Alaska, I never raped anyone. I never got laid there, either, so I now see the error of my ways.

  • hagajim

    Sarah Palin's Alaska – rape kit = revenue stream. Who needs taxes? But really, does this just sound like one huge ass Jerry Springer show or what? Oh – and if St. Sarah does decide to run, how much credit does she deserve for these truly outstanding numbers?

  • ChrisM2011

    Todd refers to these as "Love Taps".

  • L188188

    Soon we will all be reading how Todd had to go far from Wasilla for his sexy-time.

  • RodneyBadger

    An Alaskan man is lucky if he even has a woman to beat on because only 10% of the population of Alaska is female. Why mistreat her?Just love and caress your women gently you morons! Or is this the reason there are so few women in Alaska?

  • What do you expect from a state where the most famous joke is on this page (2 versions)…
    Although the first time I saw it mentioned, an "Eskimo woman" was specified. Nice values you got up there, Sarah!

  • Pragmatist2

    Typical "Lamestream Media" attack on Sarah.
    Sarah did not want to raise taxes. She saw that Alaska had only one growth industry and said "How can the State make a buck off that without looking like we are creating a new "Rape Tax"?" (laughing quietly at the "buck" pun.)
    She came up with the kind of creative solution that made Wasilla the thriving metropolis it is today (that and the meth sales).
    It's the American Dream.

  • glamourdammerung

    I thought those "real America" values involved only doing this kind of stuff to the non-whites.

  • JackObin

    Two other big activities in Alaska are reading alot of newspapers, and birthing unnecessary, useless offspring.

    • SorosBot

      Now, some Alaskans have found those offspring to be incredibly useful as political props as well as human shields.

  • GortRay

    I've been to Alaska a few times and have no trouble believing these statistics. The vast majority of "people" I've met there are slobbering CHUDs who would be kept in cages in the civilized world. And they reallllly love their Sarah.

  • MiniMencken

    I'm starting to see that Robert Service's lines about "…strange things done in the land of the midnight sun" and that "…the arctic trails have their secret tales that would make your blood run cold" involve more than cremating Sam McGee.

  • Buckminster

    Wonderful! The rape statistics, along with the dark, dreary winter days, are enough to depress anyone. I'm surprised suicide rates aren't higher than they are.

  • AlaskaGrrl

    I can't think of anything witty to say. I live in Alaska and see this disaster on a daily basis. The current Governor, a Sarah clone more interested in his career than the people, is deafening in his silence on the issue.

  • Negropolis

    I'd not be surprised, at all, to find that this problem is particularly acute in large states with very small populations (i.e. Wyoming, Montana, etc…) It sounds like geography and the closeness of the communities really discourage women from reporting abuse and rape.

    • Sue4466

      The article doesn't make clear if this survey includes Alaska Native women, which adds a whole other wrinkle to the problem. American Indian and Alaska Natives have rates of sexual assault more than twice that for non-native women. The vast majority of the reported perpetrators are non-native. One huge problem is the federal government vests law enforcement authority in federal hands–i.e., the FBI and US Attorneys Offices–rather than tribal communities, which have no power to prosecute non-natives for any crime and are limited in the punishments they can impose on natives convicted in tribal courts. Instead, the feds have jurisdiction and, the thing is, the feds refuse to prosecute about 65% of reported rapes committed in Indian Country. So, reservations and Native villages have become havens for sexual predators who can prey on women with little fear of prosecution.

      I have no snark on this. Yes, Palin sucks for wanting women to pay for their own rape kits–that's evidence collection, not medical treatment. And I agree with Ken that the rationale is less about raising money for government coffers than it is about further discouraging rapes being reported.

      • Negropolis

        While I'm sure that these reservation issues contribute to this, significantly, I still think geography does so to an even greater extent. Alaska is still only 15% Native Alaskan.

        • Sue4466

          I'm not saying remoteness isn't an issue. In fact, I'd wager it's one reason the feds don't prosecute cases on remote reservations. But, Amnesty International reports that Alaska Native women are ten times more likely to be sexually assaulted than non-Native women. Alaska Natives might only comprise 15% of the state, but Alaska Native women have comprised nearly eighty percent of victims of rape and murder in that state. And, even though Alaska Native women account for less than ten percent of Anchorage’s population, they account for more than half of all women sexually assaulted each year in Anchorage.

  • bflrtsplk

    There coulda been another one chokin' the chicken.

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