JUST HAVE ROGER EBERT DECIDE  11:44 am January 25, 2011

Rahm Emanuel Still Running For Job He Can’t Have

by Jack Stuef

And so, even as printing of the city’s ballots was set to begin immediately at the Chicago Board of Elections (early voting is to start next Monday), all eyes were turning to the Illinois Supreme Court. The court – made up of four Democrats and three Republicans – may consider Mr. Emanuel’s request for an expedited appeal to the ruling, or it can choose not to hear the case at all.

Hopefully Obama is able to keep from hiring those justices into administration jobs long enough to for them to make a decision.

Mr. Emanuel, meanwhile, has said that he would continue to campaign, and that he expects to prevail. He spent Monday night campaigning at a bowling alley. His aides said more events would proceed, as ever, on Tuesday morning. First stop: an appearance before members of a local Teamsters council.

“Vote for me, I think.” [NYT]

 
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{ 32 comments }

angryclownspawn January 25, 2011 at 11:53 am

What, no write in campaign? Does he think his constituents are fucking retards and can't spell or something?

DoktorZoom January 25, 2011 at 1:10 pm

Rom Amanyul? He's already on the ballot, though, and if he's ineligible for that, he'd be ineligible to be a write-in candidate, too.

ifthethunderdontgetya January 25, 2011 at 1:28 pm

I apologize for having but one upfist for your comment, Mister angryclownspawn.
~

Boojum_Reborn January 25, 2011 at 11:55 am

The Chicago way is to offer bribes, not jobs. Jobs are for pussies.

DoktorZoom January 25, 2011 at 1:12 pm

They come at you with an injunction, you come at them with an appeal. That's the Chicago way.

Oh…and apparently anywhere else, too. So much for Chicagoan Exceptionalism.

horsedreamer_1 January 25, 2011 at 11:56 am

He just needs to Rahm it down their throats.

Did he learn nothing from the health-care debate?

WunkRocker January 25, 2011 at 12:26 pm

I thought this was all done with parachutes or summat?

edgydrifter January 25, 2011 at 11:57 am

This thing he doesn't have–it's fucking golden.

SorosBot January 25, 2011 at 12:14 pm

His right middle finger is golden?

ttommyunger January 25, 2011 at 11:59 am

A Bowling Alley? Don't you need most of your fingers to bowl? Just sayin'…

harry_palmer January 25, 2011 at 12:08 pm

"You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes "click."

Sophist [APPLAUSE] January 25, 2011 at 12:23 pm

This isn't Nam, Rahm. There are rules.

DoktorZoom January 25, 2011 at 1:13 pm

You don' fuck with the Emmanuel.

Sophist [APPLAUSE] January 25, 2011 at 1:59 pm

Say what you will about The Chicago Way, dude, at least it's an ethos.

ttommyunger January 25, 2011 at 12:26 pm

The Dude abides.

LionelHutzEsq January 25, 2011 at 12:48 pm

Rahm loves bowling. Check out the interview he gave at the alley:

Reporter: What do you do for recreation?

Rahm Emanuael: Oh, the usual. I bowl. Drive around. The occasional acid flashback.

ttommyunger January 25, 2011 at 1:02 pm

All that money and he does some same lame shit I do. Go figure!

BaldarTFlagass January 26, 2011 at 8:40 am

Obviously, he's not a golfer.

ttommyunger January 26, 2011 at 8:45 am

Really? Finally, something in common with this person. Almost enough to make me want to hit the links.

V572625694 January 25, 2011 at 12:15 pm

Rahm's going to go full Norm Coleman on this. Or full Joe the Miller, your choice.

Gratuitous World January 25, 2011 at 12:19 pm

this is hilarious. he has the whole chicago machine ready to coronate him as mayor of soon to be re-nicknamed fuckin'-windy-fuckin'-city, but for the literal interpretation of the statute at issue.

he'll probably win his appeal and get his spoils. not that he's marginally better or worse than chico or braun (well maybe).

regardless, he can always be mayor of doucheville.

GuyClinch January 25, 2011 at 12:23 pm

"Mr. Emanuel, meanwhile, has said that he would continue to campaign, and that he expects to prevail. He spent Monday night campaigning at a bowling alley. His aides said more events would proceed, as ever, on Tuesday morning. First stop: an appearance before members of a local Teamsters council."

That's one way to say that Rahm spent hours crying into his beer at the local bowling alley in preparation for getting kneecapped by some gangsters.

freakishlywrong January 25, 2011 at 12:23 pm

Who's the retard now, Rhambo?

LionelHutzEsq January 25, 2011 at 2:31 pm

Easy answer: Still anyone with the last name Palin, other than Trig, Trip, or whatever in the hell name they gave Bristol's baby when Sarah claimed to be the mother.

SudsMcKenzie January 25, 2011 at 12:28 pm

When the going gets tough, the tough keep campaigning at a bowling alley.

HolyMaracas January 25, 2011 at 12:32 pm

I was gonna make a retard joke but it looks like they are all taken. Out-snarked once again…

LionelHutzEsq January 25, 2011 at 12:49 pm

Am I the only one who is sort of surprise that there are rules in Chicago politics?

hagajim January 25, 2011 at 1:10 pm

Does Rahm have a Murkowski somewhere in the woodpile?

nounverb911 January 25, 2011 at 1:16 pm

This just in from the NYT: Illinois Supreme Court Halts Printing of Chicago Mayoral Ballots Without Emanuel’s Name

Looks like politics as usual in Chicago.

V572625694 January 25, 2011 at 1:33 pm

Never mind

HolyMaracas January 25, 2011 at 2:39 pm

UPDATE: "I'm back, Fucktards!"

You didn't think this asshole was gonna go away that easily, did you?

XOhioan January 25, 2011 at 7:54 pm

This being Chicago, the conspiracy theories run rampant. From a local cop blog: Emanuel knew he would never get on the ballot, but he's the cleanup man for the Machine–knocking out minority challengers that might have a chance (Jesse Jackson, Jr.) and intimidating others away with his fund-raising finesse (Sheriff Tom Dart). He gets knocked off the ballot, leaving the field open for Machine candidate of choice, Gary Chico. Daley gets a successor who will cover for his massive career of graft, and Rahm gets to walk away with a cool 10 million dollars of donor cash.
No doubt fiction (except for the Daley graft part), but with a handsome, renegade DA investigating, would make a good political thriller.

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