so you can get porn on the internet now?

Marriott Taking Away Old Men’s Porn Pay-Per-View

For business travelers and defense contractors of a certain age, the only real reward at the end of another crushing day of airport security and ulcer-causing plates of casual-dining-chain fat globules and the constant fear of getting fired is the pay-per-view porn on the hotel teevee. But various Christian wingnut groups who should mind their own goddamned business have been pressuring Marriott for years to end its profitable porn business. And now that pretty much everybody but the oldest, most confused business traveler has figured out how to watch pornos on the internets, Marriott is “giving in” to the wingnuts and phasing out the in-room adult video-teevee stuff.

The Washington Post reports:

The moves comes two weeks after likely GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney’s resignation from Marriott’s board. During the 2008 presidential campaigns, Romney was criticized by family-oriented interest groups for not pressing Marriott to drop the adult movies offered in its rooms.

Haha, of course this involves Mitt Romney. [Washington Post]

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A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

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  • horsedreamer_1

    Exactly. As long as they have in-room wi-fi, this ban is toothless.

    • DoktorZoom

      True, but so are the people who'll be missing their pr0n.

      • Sophist [APPLAUSE]

        Well, there's a mental image that's going to linger. Thanks, DZ. Thanks a lot.

    • http://livebythefoma.blogspot.com Pop_Socket

      Have you ever tried to watch internet porn on a hotel's wifi bandwidth? It takes a half hour to just load a crappy Fleshbot video. So I've heard.

  • SorosBot

    A post that combines Mitt Romney and porn? Ewwww.

  • metamarcisf

    Why is Mitt Romney a supporter of online pornography?

    • horsedreamer_1

      You try having four wives, each expecting to get serviced on her nite.

  • widestanceroman

    So, the GOP is officially done with their 'Big Tent' pitch?

  • revmod

    Fortunately, they'll still sell some old-timey paper porn products in the hotel's lobby store. I don't entirely understand how Swank survives the internets, and Newsweek can't, but there it is.

    • SorosBot

      Stupid Mormons maybe? Utah has the country's highest rate of paying for porn.

      • horsedreamer_1

        To borrow from Patrick Leahy, during the kerfuffle over Napster, but I think it's appropriate here, too: "Artists are entitled to recompense. & are not sword-swallowers artists, in a way?"

      • inedalo

        sure, that makes sense. porn is more exciting if it is FORBIDDEN! adds to the pleasure of the ignorant sanctimonious religies who run this United States of Jesus…. also known as The Theocratic States of America. take yer pick, mormons.

  • edgydrifter

    Mitt Romney puts on his magic underwear and all your hotel porn disappears. That's the magic.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Asked for a comment, Clarence Thomas said nothing. Because he is, technically, a ficus.

    • LionelHutzEsq

      However, his wife has called up the Marriott, demanding that they apologize.

    • http://livebythefoma.blogspot.com Pop_Socket

      Because he is finally paying attention to conflict of interest rules.

  • mrpuma2u

    Porn is one of the few growth industries in the economy we have left!!! Why do these bible thumpers hate American ingenuity and innovation?!?

    • HolyMaracas

      You mean "Book of Mormon thumpers"?

  • chickensmack

    I stayed in a Marriott over the weekend. They charge $14.95 per day for internet service, but I tether internet service from the cell. Marriott also provides a dock that I can plug a laptop into the TV.

    Just try and keep me out, Mitt.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    And WIFI is nothing. Want your type-A hermaphrodite picture? Type "chicks with dicks" and you get a picture of Lynne Cheney with her husband.

  • jim89048

    Hooray! Now all the business travellers will have more time to devote to that Book of Mormon so discreetly tucked in the top drawer of the nightstand…

    • zumpie

      They're particularly likely to find it at a Marriott, too—JW wears secret undies his own self. Elsewhere Hilton, Starwood and Intercontinental do handsprings

  • ttommyunger

    Mitt and Porn, Porn and Mitt. Nope. Does nothing for me. Palin and Porn; now yer talkin!

  • freakishlywrong

    How my dictate? Fucking conservatives.

  • angryclownspawn

    Hello Hilton, eh?

    • chickensmack

      As long as that chain funnels money to the granddaughter that makes the world's shittiest porn, I'll happily not stay there.

  • widestanceroman

    I see a mob of angry guests bearing something other than pitchforks protesting this.

    • not that Dewey

      Ewww.

  • Pragmatist2

    The only thing the On demand porn could do to stay in business is real niche stuff.
    I suggest they consider Mormon Porn. And I offer this forum for those of you who wish to suggests plot lines.

    • MissTaken

      Top Hat Peep Show?

  • LionelHutzEsq

    Republicans are so selfish. Just because the Marriott did not show porn with young boys, or with big fat lobbyist Broke Back Mounting congressmen, now no one can have porn.

    Not to mention the jobs this is going to destroy. Who will speak out for the poor porn actor who will have one less blow job because of this action? Or the poor illegal immigrant who will not be able to work now that the furniture is no longer all covered in spunk.

    • SorosBot

      And won't somebody think of the drug-addled, abused runaways?

  • hagajim

    The porn workers will be fine – the ones losing their jobs are those poor film editors who took that hard core porn and edited into a softer, more family friendly version. Now it'll just be a bunch of us streaming and fapping to the uncut and unedited raw version…thanks Mittens for letting me escape the soft core trap!

  • chascates

    Can you still get vibrating beds and those mirrored ceilings?

  • Kidneys4Sale

    Space Jesus wept.

  • inedalo

    isn't there any mormons-for-porn protest group in utah?

  • MiniMencken

    Very interesting. My attorney was looking to purchase a residence at one time and was shown a development originally built to be marketed to Mormon families. Roomy plasterboard tract houses with all of the usual features seen in every anomic American suburb with just one fascinating difference. In the master bedrooms, there was always a raised platform for the bed and a mirror attached to the ceiling over it.

  • Sophist [APPLAUSE]

    Too soon!

  • wegot2dobetter

    Sandra Buttock is going to be very angry at this development.

  • http://livebythefoma.blogspot.com Pop_Socket

    You have rather, uh, specific kinks.

    • http://michaelfountain.blogspot.com/ Angry_Marmot

      If it's not specific, it's not a kink.

  • http://iwastoldtheredbeponies.wordpress.com kittylittr

    Business travelers across America are rushing to log in to their corporate travel system to change their hotel chain preference.

    "I'll be God damned if I'm going to spend three nights in Akron without porn," they mutter to themselves.

  • Hatrabbit

    Well done, Marriott board. Another sticky situation avoided.