SO YOU CAN GET PORN ON THE INTERNET NOW?  11:12 am January 25, 2011

Marriott Taking Away Old Men’s Porn Pay-Per-View

by Ken Layne

For business travelers and defense contractors of a certain age, the only real reward at the end of another crushing day of airport security and ulcer-causing plates of casual-dining-chain fat globules and the constant fear of getting fired is the pay-per-view porn on the hotel teevee. But various Christian wingnut groups who should mind their own goddamned business have been pressuring Marriott for years to end its profitable porn business. And now that pretty much everybody but the oldest, most confused business traveler has figured out how to watch pornos on the internets, Marriott is “giving in” to the wingnuts and phasing out the in-room adult video-teevee stuff.

The Washington Post reports:

The moves comes two weeks after likely GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney’s resignation from Marriott’s board. During the 2008 presidential campaigns, Romney was criticized by family-oriented interest groups for not pressing Marriott to drop the adult movies offered in its rooms.

Haha, of course this involves Mitt Romney. [Washington Post]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 43 comments }

horsedreamer_1 January 25, 2011 at 11:21 am

Exactly. As long as they have in-room wi-fi, this ban is toothless.

DoktorZoom January 25, 2011 at 12:08 pm

True, but so are the people who'll be missing their pr0n.

Sophist [APPLAUSE] January 25, 2011 at 2:04 pm

Well, there's a mental image that's going to linger. Thanks, DZ. Thanks a lot.

Pop_Socket January 25, 2011 at 4:50 pm

Have you ever tried to watch internet porn on a hotel's wifi bandwidth? It takes a half hour to just load a crappy Fleshbot video. So I've heard.

SorosBot January 25, 2011 at 11:21 am

A post that combines Mitt Romney and porn? Ewwww.

metamarcisf January 25, 2011 at 11:26 am

Why is Mitt Romney a supporter of online pornography?

horsedreamer_1 January 25, 2011 at 11:27 am

You try having four wives, each expecting to get serviced on her nite.

widestanceroman January 25, 2011 at 11:26 am

So, the GOP is officially done with their 'Big Tent' pitch?

revmod January 25, 2011 at 11:29 am

Fortunately, they'll still sell some old-timey paper porn products in the hotel's lobby store. I don't entirely understand how Swank survives the internets, and Newsweek can't, but there it is.

SorosBot January 25, 2011 at 11:34 am

Stupid Mormons maybe? Utah has the country's highest rate of paying for porn.

horsedreamer_1 January 25, 2011 at 11:45 am

To borrow from Patrick Leahy, during the kerfuffle over Napster, but I think it's appropriate here, too: "Artists are entitled to recompense. & are not sword-swallowers artists, in a way?"

inedalo January 25, 2011 at 1:26 pm

sure, that makes sense. porn is more exciting if it is FORBIDDEN! adds to the pleasure of the ignorant sanctimonious religies who run this United States of Jesus…. also known as The Theocratic States of America. take yer pick, mormons.

edgydrifter January 25, 2011 at 11:31 am

Mitt Romney puts on his magic underwear and all your hotel porn disappears. That's the magic.

EatsBabyDingos January 25, 2011 at 11:32 am

Asked for a comment, Clarence Thomas said nothing. Because he is, technically, a ficus.

LionelHutzEsq January 25, 2011 at 12:52 pm

However, his wife has called up the Marriott, demanding that they apologize.

Pop_Socket January 25, 2011 at 4:51 pm

Because he is finally paying attention to conflict of interest rules.

mrpuma2u January 25, 2011 at 11:32 am

Porn is one of the few growth industries in the economy we have left!!! Why do these bible thumpers hate American ingenuity and innovation?!?

HolyMaracas January 25, 2011 at 12:37 pm

You mean "Book of Mormon thumpers"?

chickensmack January 25, 2011 at 11:33 am

I stayed in a Marriott over the weekend. They charge $14.95 per day for internet service, but I tether internet service from the cell. Marriott also provides a dock that I can plug a laptop into the TV.

Just try and keep me out, Mitt.

EatsBabyDingos January 25, 2011 at 11:34 am

And WIFI is nothing. Want your type-A hermaphrodite picture? Type "chicks with dicks" and you get a picture of Lynne Cheney with her husband.

jim89048 January 25, 2011 at 11:47 am

Hooray! Now all the business travellers will have more time to devote to that Book of Mormon so discreetly tucked in the top drawer of the nightstand…

zumpie January 25, 2011 at 12:16 pm

They're particularly likely to find it at a Marriott, too—JW wears secret undies his own self. Elsewhere Hilton, Starwood and Intercontinental do handsprings

ttommyunger January 25, 2011 at 11:47 am

Mitt and Porn, Porn and Mitt. Nope. Does nothing for me. Palin and Porn; now yer talkin!

freakishlywrong January 25, 2011 at 11:52 am

How my dictate? Fucking conservatives.

angryclownspawn January 25, 2011 at 11:52 am

Hello Hilton, eh?

chickensmack January 25, 2011 at 12:14 pm

As long as that chain funnels money to the granddaughter that makes the world's shittiest porn, I'll happily not stay there.

widestanceroman January 25, 2011 at 12:33 pm

I see a mob of angry guests bearing something other than pitchforks protesting this.

not that Dewey January 25, 2011 at 12:42 pm

Ewww.

Pragmatist2 January 25, 2011 at 12:44 pm

The only thing the On demand porn could do to stay in business is real niche stuff.
I suggest they consider Mormon Porn. And I offer this forum for those of you who wish to suggests plot lines.

MissTaken January 25, 2011 at 12:53 pm

Top Hat Peep Show?

LionelHutzEsq January 25, 2011 at 12:58 pm

Republicans are so selfish. Just because the Marriott did not show porn with young boys, or with big fat lobbyist Broke Back Mounting congressmen, now no one can have porn.

Not to mention the jobs this is going to destroy. Who will speak out for the poor porn actor who will have one less blow job because of this action? Or the poor illegal immigrant who will not be able to work now that the furniture is no longer all covered in spunk.

SorosBot January 25, 2011 at 2:55 pm

And won't somebody think of the drug-addled, abused runaways?

hagajim January 25, 2011 at 1:08 pm

The porn workers will be fine – the ones losing their jobs are those poor film editors who took that hard core porn and edited into a softer, more family friendly version. Now it'll just be a bunch of us streaming and fapping to the uncut and unedited raw version…thanks Mittens for letting me escape the soft core trap!

chascates January 25, 2011 at 1:09 pm

Can you still get vibrating beds and those mirrored ceilings?

Kidneys4Sale January 25, 2011 at 1:16 pm

Space Jesus wept.

inedalo January 25, 2011 at 1:29 pm

isn't there any mormons-for-porn protest group in utah?

MiniMencken January 25, 2011 at 2:11 pm

Very interesting. My attorney was looking to purchase a residence at one time and was shown a development originally built to be marketed to Mormon families. Roomy plasterboard tract houses with all of the usual features seen in every anomic American suburb with just one fascinating difference. In the master bedrooms, there was always a raised platform for the bed and a mirror attached to the ceiling over it.

Sophist [APPLAUSE] January 25, 2011 at 2:11 pm

Too soon!

wegot2dobetter January 25, 2011 at 4:02 pm

Sandra Buttock is going to be very angry at this development.

Pop_Socket January 25, 2011 at 4:53 pm

You have rather, uh, specific kinks.

Angry_Marmot January 26, 2011 at 2:09 am

If it's not specific, it's not a kink.

kittylittr January 26, 2011 at 2:36 am

Business travelers across America are rushing to log in to their corporate travel system to change their hotel chain preference.

"I'll be God damned if I'm going to spend three nights in Akron without porn," they mutter to themselves.

Hatrabbit January 26, 2011 at 3:08 am

Well done, Marriott board. Another sticky situation avoided.

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