Homes in Snyder, New York are now covered in a “goo” of feces and urine, just like in that Oscar-winning 1997 Robin Williams film noir, Flubber, except it is being eaten off the ground and sides of houses by dogs and small children. “Most of the houses along Washington Highway and Berryman Drive have taken down their Christmas lights, but are now sporting green or yellow icicles.” Delicious! ABC News says people initially wanted to blame this on the FAA for letting passing airplanes drop human waste, but the FAA denies this, so ABC News went to the next logical source: a random person on the street. “She said it’s actually because the seagulls eat fast food at McDonald’s, which upsets their digestive tract.” Their digestive tracts were Lovin’ It! a bit too much, she means.
But obviously the seagulls were choosing the preservative salad (hold the dressing), the chemically separated apple slices (hold the artificially caramel-colored caramel goop), and the jug of milk flavored with plastic, right? That is the healthy option, and all of us choose it when we go to McDonald’s.
Bird experts who have seen pictures of the goo agree that they resemble bird droppings.
!!!
But:
But after seeing additional video showing green and yellow gunk on homes, Chu was baffled.
“More recent footage shows larger areas of greenish yellow wash, and we do not know what that is,” she said.
Chu wasn’t so sure about the French fry-eating seagull theory.
In conclusion, some of the poop and pee is from airplanes, but not enough to meet industry regulations. So the FAA had to contract out some birds to eat McDonald’s and shit on people’s houses. But be careful, birds! When the government decides it doesn’t need you anymore, it kills you all off. [ABC News]
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Damn McRibs
This is why McDonalds makes them for a limited time only.
I'm confused.
Jesus, I dunno how you people can joke about this. I actually lived on Berryman Drive in Snyder…it's been ten years, but I am sure they still get debt collection notices for me.
anyway, too soon.
Good Times, as the kids say…
And I thought the only time you got a shit storm like this in Buffalo is when the Bills and Sabres lose on the same day.
Nah, they just call that "Sunday."
Is this where Snyder's make their pretzels?
And here I thought "shit storm" was just an expression. Who knew?
If you've never lived in an area populated by seagulls, imagine this: extra-large flying rats with permanent diarrhea.
I read once that seagulls eat 20% of America's garbage. That garbage has to go somewhere. Why not Snyder?
So the houses are getting coated in green slime; have the residents of Snyder been saying "I don't know" a lot recently?
This wouldn't be a problem if they would just say "what."
Damn you Buffalo area. Why do your towns always have gimmicks? Tonawanda and Cheektawaga have their home fires. Buffalo has its sports teams choke during championships. And now Snyder has it's "We're being bombed with poopy and peepee."
Anything to attract touristas, eh?
& the Clippers started out as the Buffalo Braves!
It's not just Donald Sterling that makes that team suck. It's tradition.
The one redeeming feature of being a Cubs fan. At least our team doesn't play in Buffalo!
…isnt getting shyted on by a bird supposed to be good luck?
If so, I've gotten pretty good luck, having been shit on many times, once down my collar.
Then you must be lucky as hell!! And proof of the theory that shit rolls
downhill.
"This is a shity story."
-Capt. Obvious-
Urine rare form!
It's Monday. The Bears and the Jets lost. Bears and Jets are dropping bear shit and Jet urine out of the sky. Simple really.
Um, technically, shouldn't the bear shit be in the woods?
Maybe, but FAA officials are looking the other way, and bribing officials is a stealer thing.
But to be hit on the head by bird's poop is supposed to be a sign of good luck.
Also supposed to be a treatment for balding heads.
I see a capitalist opportunity here. The gulls could actually be creating jobs for Murica.
Pointy Birds by John Lillith
O pointy birds,
o pointy pointy,
anoint my head
anointy-nointy.
I wanted to give you fist up from Steve Martin.
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr?
I never could trust Merv Griffin after that movie.
Both my brains up-thumbed you for that.
Shitheads unite! Form a union!
i am waiting for the sarah palin angle on this important development.
"sarah palin angle"
A teabagger marriage?
I'm sure it will be obtuse.
Those birds are refoodidating.
Radio silence appears to be the only continuing emission (ha, ha, "emission"!) from Fortress Griftertude in the wake of the NE article about Le Todd. Unless he's been on Fox, which I don't watch, evah.
Suburb of Buffalo. Need more be said?
Ornithological poopyheads? Must be a sloooooow newz day. This meme is for the birds.
i think the next logical step would be for McD's to roll out the "McGull + chips" meal.
supersized, of course.
Who's up for some fries at Mickey D's?
My bad.
We’re used all kinds of frozen stuff here in Minnesota. It’s a lot fun to see what (or who) is left over from the huge piles of snow in parking lots after they thaw.
This looks like what you get when you don’t clean your gutters from leaves in the fall. Once the ice builds up it slowly pushes the rotting compost out making lovely brown and yellow icicles that hang from your gutters. Clean your gutters lazy people.
This prank is way better than Billy Madison's "poop on fire."
Isn't there something in Revelations about this coming to pass, right before Jesus sucks up all his true believers in his Crazy Straw of Rapturial Delite? "Yea, verily, and the shyt and pyss did come forth from the heavens."
*crosses fingers & toes*
And not since the great flood have we seen these sorts of "super sizing" affects.
Before some priggish stranger points it out in the future, take it from a fellow Wonketeer: Revelation (of John), singular.
You know that the USDA admitted they killed the birds?
They're just stepping up their game.
That article says that the USDA killed the birds because they were crapping in some cattle feed. This just sounds wrong. Have you ever seen cattle eating in the field? They nuzzle right up to sloppy-fresh cowpies without batting an eye! How could a couple of bird shits make any difference? Besides, last time I checked, bird shit already fell into the fields.
They're just taking one for the team. The Lizard People thank them.
This is the part of "God Bless the United States of America" no one likes to talk about.
yellow journalism.
Anything to do with digestion is now the jurisdiction of the FLOTUS. She must go to this town and personally inspect this poo/nuclear waste.
Finally! Time to put a checkmark by the Republicans' promise to shit all over America, one town at a time.
You know it's a bad sign when even the birds that have evolved to eat crap get indigestion from your local McDonalds. Soon they'll be offering free goiters with every Happy Meal.
They'll know for sure if birds show up at intersections cleaning windshields and demanding to be paid in Big Macs.
I'll take two McSkypie's…hold the greenwash!
As usual, they will try to tell us its raining.
Oh crap, The Beatles and Charles Manson were right, the shit IS coming down!
I wonder what kind of expert you have to be to find yourself in Olivia Katrandjian's Rolodex under "identifies content of bird shit from pictures."
And by the way, Olivia's a hottie.
It's like being shit on by professionals all over again
Ha ha! Good times! Thanks for the memories!
More derergulation! The invisible hand will allow more airplane pee and poop to rain on people's houses! PEE BABY PEE!
No! More regulation is the answer! Since San Francisco adopted its own new strict regulations on fast food restaurants the feces of that city's seagulls is itself edible. Plus the gulls don't dive bomb kids trying to get the kids happy meal toy since the gulls have already learned that there are no more toys in happy meals, just nutrition! Everybody wins!
I got dive-bombed last week by a SF pigeon for my Blue Bottle coffee. Oh how I long for the days when those fuckers only wanted the McD's happy meal toy.
A rising tide will lift all ships.
"shits"
/fixed
30 years of trickle down economics has brought us to this point. Too Soon?
I once fell in love with a Tern…but it never worked out. She said she wasn't that kind of gull.
Shoulda offered her some high-grade weed, man. Your mistake was forgetting to leave no tern unstoned.
First the birds fall from the sky, then their poop. Hmmm.
The Shit Storm seems to have literally started.
Interesting times.
It is still a better deal than Arkansas where the whole bird, poop and all, falls out of the sky and goes splat on your house.
Also better in that the shit in Arkansas sometimes gets elected Governor.
Or Karl Rove's butt buddy Timmy Griffin. What was he elected to again?
Asshole of the Year?
Reminds me of that saying: Don't piss on me and tell me it's raining. (Usually ends with 'boy'.)
It is during trying times such as these that I thank the Lord that He in His Infinite Wisdom hath bestowethed upon me the 1800psi powerwasher, which is now available to Believers and Unbelievers at Home Depot.com for $179 plus shipping.
P.S.: the Lord expressly forbids use of His holy handiwork on shingles.
Simple engineering problem; sewer backup coupled with evaporation. The solution: flush twice, Pilgrims, it may be over a mile to the nearest MacD.
Soylent green! The death panels have started!
Nothing says "Feces Navidad" like fetid assicles hanging from rusty gutters.
Y Prospero Ano Neuvo! a ti tambien.
It's the takin' out the tilde what makes it funny, ya see.
Snyder is just trying to emulate New York City by covering everything with a thin layer of frozen urine. The envy is kinda sad.
Piss off, pissed off, piss on it and shove it all have new meaning to me.
When will out FLOTUS invade with her Communist red shirts and demand that McDonalds stops feeding the birds.
Thanks, Wonkette – urine and feces are what I've come to expect from your coverage of the political scene and you didn't disappoint…
This just in…. "Obama Makes Deal With Seagulls To Allow Them To Keep Shitting On Houses".
Three words: vegan hang gliders.
"Merkin jerbs," I think you meant.
Snyder? Is it named for/after the pretzel or the much-dead talk-show host?
Mmm, Flavor-Ice.
Shit isn't usually deep fried!
UFO's emptying their tanks!
If this is one of the signs of the Apocolypse, this one's a fail.
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