George Will likes politics, but he does not like politics when everyone is not wearing a top hat and legislators arrive to the Capitol by auto-mobile instead of Negro-drawn carriage. “Between Jefferson and Woodrow Wilson, no one delivered this in person. They sent their report to Congress in writing. But now we’ve turned this into this panorama in which—in an interminable speech, every president, regardless of party, tries to stroke every erogenous zone in electorate.” George Will does not like to be touched as such. He has already subjected himself to these types of relations in order to have children, and he will never waste his time in such a manner ever a-gain.
And it becomes a political pep rally, to use the phrase of Chief Justice Roberts last year. If it’s going to be a pep rally, with the president’s supporters or whatever party standing up and braying approval, and histrionic pouting on the part of the other, then it’s no place for the judiciary, it’s no place for the uniformed military, and it’s no place for non-adolescent legislators.
If those legislators who aren’t children would like to join George Will, he will be laying on the sidewalk outside looking at old baseball cards, like an adult. [ABC News]
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OK, then what about adolescent Justices like Scalia and Thomas? Should they be required to attend?
Required to attend, then have to turn in a report on it.
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! OBAMA #1. YEAH BABY THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' BOUT!!!! GETTIN' HER DONE AND MAKING THAT SOTU SPEECH YOUR BITCH!!!
His preferred wanking material is anything from Exxon. Their centerfolds (like former CEO Lee Raymond's chins) are more his thing.
Will is still pissed at George Allen for putting his baseball cards in his bike spokes to make it sound like a motorcycle — those could be WORTH SOMETHING someday.
I have no idea what you're talking about, but up-fisted anyway.
He won't be actively masturbating, but he will shove a dildo up his ass. Next to his head.
This Question Time parliamentary nonsense reminds me I much prefer the other sort of Parliament, the one with George Clinton and Bootsy Collins.
MP George Clinton (Labour-East Funkadelichamshire)
I say again: Clinton/Clinton 2012!
One Nation, Under a Groove, bitches.
Nice.
I really don't want to think about the electorate's erogenous zones. From what I can tell, they're all old, shouty, wingnutty and shop at the Wal-Mart, (until THE BOYCOTT!!1). Anyone remember George Will being so down on the SOTU before Obamar started delivering it? Me Neither.
Just like Andy Griffith said: "Gooooood cracker!"
My erogenous zone will exposed, moist, and awaiting the President's sensitive touch tomorrow night.
No wait, I think there's a ball game on. I'll just get the summary here Wednesday morning.
Apparently, this is going to be a "ball game," too, but with more stroking than in professional sports.
Christiane Amanpour seemed to be erogenously stroked.
To be fair Will oughta credit his butt-buddy/debate partner Saint Ronnie of Santa Barbara for turning the SOTU into pure show-biz.
He ought to, but George Will has always been as dishonest as the rug on top of his head.
…and when the nice urban boy came out to play, Georgie Porgie ran away.
Nice!? Don't you mean 'very, very'?
Come on now. Will may be a preening jack-ass but "stroking every erogenous zone of the electorate" is top shelf snark. Certainly better than you could expect to get on that show. And he's right. The state of the union is a joke. Why do we bother? Yes, I know. The drinking games.
"erogenous zone in electorate"
I think George Will needs to get laid.
Any volunteers?
You've put your finger on the problem. (ha, ha, "finger")
I would say Jumpin' Joe Lieberman, but he's too busy stroking his own ego to be distracted by George's masculine wiles.
George might not masturbate to the speech, but you can sure bet that he'll have a girl boner.
His lady-wood will be strong.
(Yes, I did watch The Dilemma. &, yes, I enjoyed it.)
I eagerly await Obamers' wholesale sell-out of USA(tm) to China and India. Go team! Oh, and Will and erogenous zones – ewwww.
Pssttt..Crunchy. Alt0153 makes this ™….
What the fuck is George Will doing, wearing a regular tie instead of his trademark "I'm an intellectual, no really" bow tie look?
I think that is a signal to a certain South Carolina politician.
Because, as we all know, a tie is designed to accentuate a man's genitals and he's got erogenous zones on his mind. A bow tie is designed to accentuate a man's ears and clearly he's indicating, that's not an erogenous zone.
The "Bow Tie," look was made popular by a Republican operative back in the 70's, by the name of Ted Bundy. It's been a hit ever since, but only with "boyish," Republicans. When they become a man they go to the suspenders look, made popular by Robert Bork.
Tucker Carlson has stopped wearing them too – probably because bow ties made him look like a frat dork.
Caption: Will here demonstrates the hand he favors
I would say that nowhere on the internet but Wonkette would I ever be forced to read 'George Will' and 'erogenous zones' in close proximity, but this one isn't even your fault.
Wait until Barry unveils the 5 pillars of his job creation program. You know who else has 5 pillars, right?
The ignorant buzzing of millions of TeaTards will be heard throughout the land tomorrow.
Carrot Top?
if Mohammed was a ginger, maybe.
You got this George Will completely wrong; he absolutely defines the term "wanker." If you go to wikipedia and look up "wanker," there is a picture of George Will, unless Tucker Carlson has been putting his own picture up and they haven't taken it down yet.
George just loves wanking himself so much that he hates when anyone else tries to wank him. Except Barry Bonds, he once let Barry Bonds wank him and then wrote a whole wank-book about Barry bonds to comemorate the wank of a wankers lifetime.
I'm sure Will felt the same way when the President was
whiteBush.George Will thinking about my erogenous zone makes me feel dirty. Not in a good way.
Somehow I find it hard to believe that he's ever gotten use out of his erogenous zones.
Will's just embarassed for his fellow Republicans, now that The Boehner will be sitting–and sobbing incessantly–behind the President.
Can't Congress just read the TelProMteR while the POTUS suns his junk in Hawaii?
He's going to be beating his dick like it owes him money. Then he'll take himself out and buy himself some pancakes.
Can a good rule of thumb be that the word "masturbation" never be this closely linked with a politician or pundit? Ughhh….
On Wonkette?
George Will is the designated Victorian Old Biddy of American politics, complete with fringed lampshade on his head.
Where doth that leave Peggington Noonington?
You can bet the very second that Robobama mentions cutting Social Security, George Effing Will is gonna splooge all over the place.
~
If it's all show, then serious politicos like Paul Ryan need to rescind their agreement to deliver a rebuttal & get down to the serious business of
legislatingreturning America to its pre-Revolution Royalist Roots.Divine Right of LLC's, bitches!
George Will is a 'zerogenous' zone all to himself (and may he stay that way always and forever).
He loves to whisper Sweet Nothings in his own ear
I will hereafter affix a bow tie firmly around my naughty bits in the hopes that he and I will perchance begin exploring classier neighborhoods.
And yet he prays each night for Reagan's cold, dead hand to reach from the grave and wank him vigorously.
So let me get this straight. George is saying that every president since Jefferson has stroked his naughty bits, right? Sounds reasonable enough to me.
"Between Jefferson and Woodrow Wilson, no one delivered this in person. They sent their report to Congress in writing."
Then some scandalous ruffians would write back, You Prevaricate! Goodness, I miss Queen Victoria!
Erogenous zones, indeed. Queen Victoria was always hot to trot.
Also: doesn't Will get paid to do the ABC re-cap of the speech?
He should sit that out & refuse a paycheck.
Ewwwwww. Though, judging from those coke-bottle glasses, I'd say he's been doing some fuddy puddy for decades.
In the interest of ushering in a new era of civility, I'll give Will a pass if he can produce an article any time between 2001 and 2009 quoting him saying the same thing about the SOTU. Or 1981 and 1993.
Didn't think so, douchebag.
When Bush was President, nobody was stroking every erogenous zone in ejaculate, let me tell you. Dick Cheney was just happy to see you when WAR, SHOCK AND AWE, TERROR, TERROR,TERROR were being discussed in a rational fashion.
War WAS Cheney's erogenous zone. Wonder if it still is, since he's clinically
died a few bazillion times?
Wait…Has anyone run a DNA check on "his" kids?
Just askin'.
So if last year's SOTU was hand delivered, Joe Wilson would have needed someone to read it to him, then "advise" him while he wrote "Yew Lye" in red, white and blue crayon.
Well done, Stuef. Perhaps this could be the feature that finally replaces Nooners With Noonington!
Also, Amanpour still has "It," which I would hit. I'm the rare Old who countenances women my own age.
I always associate pouting with passivity. Not sure how one pouts in an active way.
i do not believe there is a better living example of 'curmudgeon'.
The left would trot out the Senior Senator from New York to counter that statement.
At least I won't feel any erogenous zone stroking during the rebuttal addresses from Michele Bachmann and her boyfriend WhatHisName Ryan. Prediction: MB says "socialism" and "dangerous path" one million times … what?, oh … one billion times.
Aaaaaannd–drink.
I understand that his nickname in college was George Will Masturbate Incessantly.
Damn!
The only reason I had to watch the SOTU was to get a glimpse of old George yanking his chain.
I have it on good authority that George only gets turgid during the World Series these days, and then he delegates his mule-whipping to close friend and political soulmate Charles "Feels on Wheels" Krauthammer; which explains why both always look perpetually pissed.
MEIN FUEHRER, I CAN WALK!!!!
Sorry, I can't avoid the Strangelove references when it comes to Spooky Doktor Cabbagehammer.
Sob! I miss Peter Sellers.
Here's a reasonable compromise: We let the current President make these bullshit addresses in the name of "equal time" and then get rid of the dog-and-pony show that SOTU's now (admittedly) are. Just have future Presidents send it over by courier. Or just get rid of the damned requirement altogether since there's really no need for them anymore. I haven't watched one of them since, well, never. I was conscious enough to watch JFK give them and didn't, if you need some historical reference there. Everybody has something better to do than to watch that bullshit.
Show me on the Charlie McCarthy doll where the president touched you, George.
“Between Jefferson and Woodrow Wilson, no one delivered this in person. They sent their report to Congress in writing. "
So, every president since 1920, the last 90 years, Harding, Coolidge, Hoover, FDR, Truman, Eisenhower, JFK, LBJ, Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, Bush, Clinton and Bush delivered it in person.
Did anybody complain?
Is this on Beck's chalkboard as one of the plethora of reasons he hates Woodrow Wilson? The CSM weekly has a good cover story on the SOTU, and I noticed that it's on the website.
The way I'm lookin' at it is if George Will is against it, I'm all for the prez delivering the speech in person. Will pulls his head out of his ass and gets shit right on baseball from time to time, but otherwise he keeps his head firmly inserted up his anus.
Obama touches us in our special place?
"George Will does not like to be touched as such." Hmm, I'm not so sure. As I recall the story, didn't Will come home during his first marriage to find his clothes and belongings piled on the lawn of his suburban McMansion, his then-wife having apparently had enough of his shenanigans. I'm sure like all good moral, upstanding, family value Christian Republicans, Will is a cheating sack of shit.
George only bashes his bishop while looking at Karsh's portrait of Winnie. You can take that to the bank.
George Will gets an erection watching the rather soporific sport of baseball. Ergo, he cannot be taken seriously.
Does this mean that our Barry will be stroking Sarah Palin in her assault rifle?
I make it a point never to listen to anything George Will has to say. So, no – I won't watch it. Without the bow tie, he has no distinguishing characteristic at all. Just an observation.
That is a promise you should never ask a man to keep.
That said, why is it only now that he suddenly hates the SOTU? If it has always been a farce, why are you so pissed, this year? To be in that man's head is like trying to find the way out of a tw-walled room.
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