Add to Flipboard Magazine.
  • A Man In Full.Still bummed out over America’s comedic loss of Christine O’Donnell? Relax! There’s always another Top Tier Clown that will emerge to provide the laughs in the next election cycle. And the 2012 Humor Olympics have begun, because George Allen will announce today that he’s running for the Senate in Virginia, in 2012! Just six years after this racist buffoon was laughed off the political stage, he is “making a comeback” — this means he will carry a football around for the next two years straight, often while wearing cowboy boots, saying “Reagan” a lot, and sometimes even riding an alive horse. It was the weird “Old Europe” anti-negro slur macaca that ruined his re-election attempt in 2006, but the real beauty of that minor moment was the way it revealed a lifetime of the kind of ugly, deeply racist frat-boy crap you would generally expect from an old white southern rich twit but that isn’t really acceptable these days in states like Virginia, with its whole northern half filled with semi-modern people who have college degrees and hybrids and most of their teeth. Also, George Allen is a Jew, of all things! He freaked the hell out about that, too. A faux-redneck Jew who loves football and hates the Negro! And now George Allen is back! He’s the guy who stuffed the severed heads of animals into the mailboxes of black families, because …. well, anything’s fine when it comes to terrorizing African-Americans, right? [AP/NYT]
  • Way back in 2007, your president George W. Bush signed a new law that would regulate the manufacture of light bulbs — old, wasteful incandescent would be replaced by new low-energy bulbs. California, as usual, wanted to get going earlier with these good regulations that reduce our energy dependency, so the last new incandescents hit California shelves at the end of 2010. This time next year, the whole country will be under the Bush-era common-sense law. So, obviously, Republican congressional jackass Joe Barton is protesting this federal law enacted four years ago and signed by a Republican president. (Republicans are all about having endless “choice” these days, unless it means the “choice” ladies sometimes like to have, regarding the use of their uterus.) [NPR/AP]
  • “Consumers” are still bummed out around the world, perhaps from the indignity of being called “consumers” instead of “people,” but the consumers/people in the United States are still far more bummed out than the ones in Europe and Asia and wherever. [Marketwatch]
Previous articleObama State of the Union Will Remind You How He's 'Centrist' Again
Next articleCanada/Earth Laughs At USA: Nostalgic Mike Huckabee Edition