While the rest of the Republican field waits to get in, Herman Cain only gets stronger. Mike Huckabee says he will wait until the summer to start running for president, because he learned the last time he ran that it’s hard to raise a lot of money from fellow squirrel-frying entrepreneurs, and people get sick of people who have been running for president for a year before they even vote for them in a primary. But aren’t people already tired of this guy, and his beady eyes and cheap suit?
You’re the stale loaf of bread on the shelf, and it’s very difficult to make your message fresh.
So if a loaf of bread is stale after months on the campaign trail, isn’t it much worse three years later? Or is a second run at the presidency a “french toast” run, which means it’s actually much better to be stale?
This is boring. Hurry up and start running, Republicans. We need to make fun of you. [The Hill]
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Take your time in giving up your Fox sinecure.
You beat me to it! Don't quit your day job, Mike!
Fox is now the Republican candidates bullpen, isn't it? Its where they sit, in their holding pattern, keeping in the public eye, waiting for their turn. Why isn't this a donation in kind?
That bullpen has an ERA over 10.
Feedin' at the Fox and EIB trough isn't good for your figure. How soon before the snow hick starts puffin' up?
C'mon Huck, don't let your meat, uh, loaf.
That's also Meat Loaf.
This is good news for Herman Cain.
Yep, he's got the Her-mentum.
I vote for this to be the official meme of the 2012 presidential race.
Mike Huckabee Waiting Until Summer To Decide If He Wants To Lose Again
Personally, I find that's way too late if you intend to be seen in public in a bathing suit.
Still, that's the easiest time of year to maintain an active lifestyle.
speaking of stale bread, i'ma go make some french toast. hey huckie, digging your grave with a knife and fork again? cuz yer lookin fat, is why i asked.
The only chance Huck's got in 2012 is if he gains his weight back and runs specifically against the evil black health dominatrix Michelle's attempts to take away middle america's Sam's Club sized box of Pizza Flavored Pringles(PFP).
This is the Republican primary — it's Freedom Toast.
I will not know what to think until I hear from Chuck Norris.
Oh, fuck this guy, already, with his cult-gleam smiley eyes and his Oprah-worthy weight swings, and 'Kinder-Gentler Stake Burning' rhetoric. Seriously.
I can't take this seriously until that traditional Arky "squirrels 'n' meth diet"™ starts showing some results.
They let Huck ride shotgun in the GOP candidate clown car, because no one wants to sit next to him in the back seat.
No one can fit next to him in the back seat.
When Mike Huckabee runs we all lose.
Huckabee's just playing it safe — there's no point in raising a big campaign war chest if The LORD's just gonna come by and rapture away the base.
Oh please Gawd. Take them! TAKE THEM!
Fundies think rapture is a reward for them, when it's actually a reward for us.
May 21, baby! I'm ready!
Honest double-take: I really thought the hed read "decide if he wants to lose weight again". Amounts to the same thing I guess.
not much goes stale in the huckabee household
Whatever you decide, Mike, you will always be a loser to me.
Has anyone seen his "petition to reform health care" ad? He's snarky as ever, asking people to sign the petition before the world comes to an end. It's nothing more than a data base list for possible donors to his campaign. Sneaky, sneaky.
Yeah, and they ran it on the Science Channel, on "Mutant Planet" which extolls the wonders of evolution. He has his target audience nailed.
It's hard to snark on this guy. Is it me or is he just realllllly Boring?
If you need inspiration, just look here. (Not the Santorums, mind you, but a close second.)
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://cache….
Handsom family.
huckabee/smooth bass jams '12.
I'm pretty sure no loaf of bread in the Huckabee household sits around long enough to get stale. Dude probably sleep-eats his way through a few pillows a year. I'll bet he eats soap bars in the shower, too. Mmmmm… Irish Spring.
SPOILER ALERT: Look for the ex-governor's summer announcement to coincide with Apple's release of the new iHuck.
There's a sap for that.
I figure Mikey is just generating some mojo so he can use it to generate CASH from his "petition to reform health care" PAC. It seems to me that all of the GOP types are just looking for a way to make money – they don't really give two shits about the country, they just want to cash in so they can relocate when the inevitable collapse comes.
Where will they go? Who would take them?
You can get your stomach stapled twice?
Huckabee could have his stomach nail gunned, and he'd still find a way to shove a bucket of greasy squirrel poppers into his water slide-sized intestinal tract.
But Huckleberry Finn is one of my favorite characters in all of Amurrikan literature. 'Specially now that they cleaned up his language, and deleted to point of the book he was in.
Then you'll love the upcoming audiobook release of "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn", with vocal performance by Dr. Laura Schlessinger.
Huck Finn was from Missouri. All the really nasty stuff in the book happens in Arkansas!
Maybe he can get Jefferson Airplane to reform and play his "Summer Of Lose" rallies….
To appeal to the aging Baby-boomers who swung Republican when Reagan ran — & they were all earning their MBA — only to feign a social conscience again (when the black guy ran), Huck has stated his campaign shall mount as a Bee-In.
"because he learned the last time he ran that it’s hard to raise a lot of money from fellow squirrel-frying entrepreneurs"
Huckleberry eats at the Black Squirrel?
He also types up their blog postings for them.
I take my stale bread and make French toast. Oops, that's French, and Republicans hate that. I could also make breaded veal cutlets with the crumbs. Whups! French again. I also like to make croutons. Dang! Too French.
Maybe I'll just cut off the crust and fry it in Wesson oil. Now THAT'S an American recipe a good Huckabee-Republican can get behind!
If I were summer, I would distinctly uneasy.
Will there be punch and pie? I bet we could get him to run if there was pie…
Squirrel pie would be best.
Any excuse to whip this out… http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l4doyq8A5N1qa9a...
It's strange to a Huck post without that image, just like a Santorum post without his crying kids.
What a race this is gonna be, Fatso McBornagain, Roofdog McMormon, The Lisping Polygamous Cousin-Marrying 9-11 Grifter, Chris "Fat Fuck" Christie, The Snowbilly Grifter, and who knows what else will ooze out from under some rock somewhere, maybe Petraeus the blood-drenched brown-killer?
Hopey's on the glide path to smooth landing in 2012. Petraus will creep everybody out like Wesley Clark did. Plus ol Pete's still got a war to win.
It's not going to get much better than "Roofdog McMormon," not today at least.
I agree. And I thought "Dipshit McGoo" (Fred Thompson) reached the highest pinnacle!
Don't forget Haley "White Citizens' Council" Barbour
I'm not sold that Jmac is done. it is very unlike a republican to stop running after only 16 years of failure.
They only need somewhere around 5-6 more to make a Zombie-candidate minyan, if you count Barbour and Huckabee twice, what with their being fat Southern WMs.
I can see the debate. Hopey off in the clouds with poetry and rhetoric. This guy grinning and giving folksy little anecdotes, like Regan used to spin. Then Huckabee says something totally outrageous and George Stephenopolis, the host of the debate, doesn't bother to call him on it. Deja vu.
I think Naomi Watts said it best.
Does anyone who didn't go to a prep school like Wes Anderson movies?
I've liked most of them; and, um, went to a prep school.
A couple of them, yes. (And by a couple, I mean either two of his movies or two people who didn't go to prep school. No, wait, I mean both,)
Cut the fuckin' Huck some slack, you guys!
Those industrial grade Rascal batteries don't just recharge overnight, ya know.
This isn't the 19th century Huck, America doesn't elect fat guys with fat families. Just saying…
With the Snowbilly and the frothy mix of lube and fecal matter in the mix, it's gonna be really hard for the Huck to win the craziest candidate challenge again.
To me, that picture summons the scent of Cheezits and Dr. Pepper. And vomit. (mine.)
I like both, just not together, like any two or more words the Huck puts together.
Huckabee the Neocon Huckster
He's 'eyeing summer' because he wants to eat it.
Huck looks like he hasn't been doing any running. Look for Fox to recruit a new set of nutballs when the entire republican field has to leave their network. I think Louie Gohmert and Virginia Foxx are locks for new shows.
The Fox thing may actually explain why none of the Republican contenders people have actually heard of have officially announced their candidacy; actual campaigning gets in the way of money-making famewhoring.
And here I was thinking Virginia was a lock for that Spitzer show on CNN.
No one dares openly challenge the Palin juggernaut.
Is "juggernaut" the German plural form?
Huckabee should run all right. Run a few laps.
well that's one pardon for keith richards that can never be retracted.
You’re the stale loaf of bread on the shelf, and it’s very difficult to make your message fresh.
Yes, fresh, your message. Fresh and juicy and delicious, like a scrumptuous side of beef, with mashed potatos and all the fixin's!!! Sheesh, does this guy have food issues or what?
"…stale white bread…"
/fixed
Can someone please find that photo of the whole Huckabee clan with their barber shop quartet shirts, that just makes me laugh out loud
See Freakishlywrong's earlier post, the one with the link to a .jpg; that's it.
That picture killed, but it can never do better than second as long as the Weeping Child of Santorum remains available for perusal.
Huckabee/Huckabee's Jowls '12!
As a professional image consultant, I think Mike could really swing with a Bieber cut.
From the picture it looks as if Mike is getting back to his fighting weight. I always loved the family photo of the Gov. along with the two sons dressed in striped shirts looking like a born again circus freak act. On the subject of one of the sons..
http://www.newsweek.com/2007/12/15/a-son-s-past-d...
Maybe Hucklenuts waiting to see if by summer people'll have forgotten the born-again felon he pardoned who went and shot a bunch of cops in cold blood?
You can be sure his pals Rudy and Frothy-Mix won't let anyone forget.
We are talking about a guy who, when he had to leave the governerors mansion in Little Rock, took up a collection from supporters to furnish his new private abode.
Huck will chase a buck.
Hey, it's not as if it was a CASH collection! He and the missus used the bridal registry at Robinsons/May. Mary Kay Letourneau registered there, too, so you know it's classy.
(No wonder they went out of business.)
If Mike is serious about this, we'll see how slim he is by summer. If he blows up like a tick on a bloodhound, nah gonna happen.
Think how much fun you could have with a name that rhymes with Fuck!
Fuckabee is a slightly smarter Palin, hence more dangerous.
C'mon, Jack! Since when does the Right Rev. Hickabee have to be running for something for us to make fun of him? This wall-eyed ass clown asks for it every time he pushes his fat fanny away from the table and leaves his trailer. I'll give him points for originality, though. When every other Rightard is wearing at least one lapel flag pin, the Huckster is usually sporting mashed potatoes and gravy.
Voted least likely ex-Arkansas governor to receive a blowjob in any house, let alone, the White House, on looks alone.
Hickabee is a Baptist preacher who can't find a job as a Baptist preacher.
And when you can't find a job as a Baptist preacher in Arkansas . . . what does that say about you???
OMG!!!!! Here's the photo of the Hickabee clan — striped shirts and all. Is that Hickabee's two sons, or did the Michelin Man and the Pillsbury Doughboy drop by for the photo op??
http://deep.mastersfamily.org/2007-12-16/family-v...
I saw Fuckabees on TV tonight in an ad for some PAC/website trying to repeal the healthcare law. The caption read "Mike Huckabee Former Governor of Arkansas and Presidential Candidate",
So, in terms of grammar, does that mean he is the former Arkansas governor and former presidential candidate, or is presidential candidate present tense the way it was written?
Somebody has to say it: "Yes."
Gingrich / Huckabee '12
Huckabee / Palin '12
Either way you slice it it comes up second term for Barry!
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