CALIFORNIA GOLD  12:18 pm January 21, 2011

Meg Whitman Now Hoping To Piss Away $$$ By Losing To Feinstein

by Ken Layne

Buy It Now!Remember Meg Whitman, the poor little rich girl who got savagely trounced when Jerry Brown came out of his meditative trance one day, late in the election year, and said, “Oh yeah, I used to be California’s governor. I will be that again,” and then he destroyed her? Do you also remember that Meg Whitman had never even voted before, and her one and only “qualification” for office was spending enough of her millions to keep California’s television and radio advertising departments fully staffed while actually driving everyone else insane with her dumb ads and stupid face? Well, Meg’s planning a “comeback,” which is usually a word we reserve for people who have actually succeeded at something, earlier.

The San Francisco Chronicle reports that this person, Meg Whitman, apparently still exists:

“Sources say Whitman in the last months has sought a detailed explanation regarding what went wrong in her resounding defeat by Brown… As one of America’s wealthiest women, several in the know suggest she aims to emerge again with a message and a profile on the California politics scene. And fairly soon.”

Uh, yeah? And how will she piss away hundreds of millions of dollars next time? Political Wire says she wants to run against the very popular/never defeated Dianne Feinstein …. because in California in 2012 when there’s maximum turnout to re-elect Obama, some loser pretending to be a Republican challenger to the Democratic incumbent in the Senate is going to do really well. [Political Wire/SF Gate]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 161 comments }

nounverb911 January 21, 2011 at 12:23 pm

I say just write a check to California and be done with it. Go away Meggy.

Lascauxcaveman January 21, 2011 at 1:18 pm

Look Meg, I know you're not the prettiest girl in highschool, but there's got to be a cheaper way to have people pay some attention to you. Try doing something constructive, instead of wasting your considerable wealth on teevee ads.

Negropolis January 21, 2011 at 7:39 pm

But, but, bad teevee adds is what Megs does best. That's her MO, bad teevee adds.

chilequiles January 21, 2011 at 7:59 pm

I dunno man, I bet she has shapely cankles.

prommie January 21, 2011 at 12:25 pm

Hey, she has qualifications, look at those two fine boys she raised. It takes hella political skills to buy your douchebag offspring into Princeton, and then make so many various charges "disappear." The rich ARE different from you and me, it turns out, they can simply do whatever the fuck they want, with complete impunity.

Terry January 21, 2011 at 12:29 pm

Beat me to it. Those boys are a credit to her moral strength and child rearing skills.

DustBowlBlues January 21, 2011 at 12:51 pm

How did I miss the shit on her two worthless sons? (From the wonkeratti "chatter" on this, I'm assuming that's the correct adjective to use). Was I so blinded by my hatred of her and iCarly F that I missed it?

BTW–"My" the wonket is actually a writing exercise for me. It warms up the snark so I can hit the right tone in the cozy mystery I'm working on (forever) so this is work time. Thanks.

Wadisay January 21, 2011 at 1:15 pm

I'm guessing it turns out that Palin did it, in John Edwards' house, with a set of trucknutz, and buttsecks is a motive.

OneDollarJuana January 21, 2011 at 12:57 pm

What's with "family values" Republicans and their worthless offspring? Michael Reagan, the Bush Sr. boys, the Bush Jr girls, Meg Whitman's douchebags, Saddam's sons. I could probably go on.

prommie January 21, 2011 at 1:05 pm

Entitlement, the fact is, few have the moral strength not to be pretty much ruined by an excess of wealth and ass-kissing. Look what happens to so many athletes, when they suddenly achieve wealth and fame.

I could handle it, though.

Mahousu January 21, 2011 at 1:25 pm

I may or may not be able to handle it; I'm not sure. But the experiment demands to be made.

problemwithcaring January 21, 2011 at 1:36 pm

"I could probably go on."

Careful, that you don't commit Blood Libel against dearest Trig.

Trinket January 21, 2011 at 2:31 pm

Don't forget Huckabee's animal-torturing, sociopathic spawn.

V572625694 January 21, 2011 at 1:36 pm

World-class non-apologetic apology from Meg's boy Griffith Rutherford Harsh to a Princeton inquiry board:

"I am deeply saddened and upset that [redacted] finds herself in this situation where she cannot remember what occurred between us that night."

[redacted] got her face punched, raped, and woke up w/Meg's boy on top of her. Nice! Griff want: Griff take.

MadBrahms January 21, 2011 at 3:28 pm

I wanted to give this post a whore diamond, because it was something I didn't know, but it's also something that disgusted me. Ugh, stupid facts.

Chet Kincaid January 21, 2011 at 4:56 pm

link?

V572625694 January 21, 2011 at 5:00 pm

Thoughtless of me! I do wish there were a way to splice in links that didn’t require all that coding.
http://gawker.com/5669754/the-rape-accusation-aga

WriteyWriterton January 22, 2011 at 3:49 pm

"Griffin Rutherford Harsh." That says it all right there.

Negropolis January 21, 2011 at 7:43 pm

I hadn't heard about the boys:

Griffith Rutherford Harsh V
William Whitman Harsh

You have got to be kidding me. Griffith Rutherford? Really?

June_Cleaver2.0 January 23, 2011 at 4:13 pm

Yes, but they call him Lumpy behind his back.

Negropolis January 24, 2011 at 12:24 am

Fuck that. I'd be calling him by his full, given name every time I ever addressed him just to piss him off. It's worse than a slur.

SaintRond January 21, 2011 at 12:26 pm

This woman is a poster child for the virtues of Beria.

GregComlish January 21, 2011 at 12:48 pm

Not sure what Meg has to do with the Stalin's right-hand man. I guess they are both successful, detail-oriented CEOs of large organizations and neither one survived the transition to politics?

Lost_Teabaggers January 21, 2011 at 4:40 pm

What SaintRond is referring to was Beria's penchant for disappearing Stalin's annoyances and enemies.

DustBowlBlues January 21, 2011 at 12:54 pm

"virtues of Beria"

You gonna' make me google it or should I simply profess my ignorance right here, for all the wonkeratti to see and for which to berate me? (Didn't end in a preposition and used a somewhat hard word, to prove I'm still worthy of hanging out with loser English majors.)

SaintRond January 21, 2011 at 12:59 pm

Berea was a piece of shit who would have treated Meg to a wonderful afternoon.

Potatoe January 21, 2011 at 1:03 pm

I think it was a typo. "Barium enema" is the phrase I believe was meant. Or maybe I am just bad with the Googles.

GOPCrusher January 21, 2011 at 4:43 pm

Wow. The fact that the former head of the NKVD has passed from our memory banks makes me feel really, really old.

BaldarTFlagass January 21, 2011 at 12:26 pm

Attention whore likes attention.

baconzgood January 21, 2011 at 12:39 pm

BLOOD LIBEL!!!!!!!!!

DustBowlBlues January 21, 2011 at 12:55 pm

[applause]

tcaalaw January 21, 2011 at 6:01 pm

But she's the one paying for the attention….

OC_Surf_Serf January 21, 2011 at 12:28 pm

Take your cash, honey, and get a MILF makeover to look like Palin and start spoutin' gobbledygook and then you may get the TeaBaggers™ to support ya

BaldarTFlagass January 21, 2011 at 12:39 pm

I don't think even Scrooge McDuck has the kinda bank it would take to make that over. That'd take moon shot or Manhattan Project-type jack.

imissopus January 21, 2011 at 1:33 pm

Now that you mention it, she kinda looks like Scrooge McDuck.

trampndirtdown January 21, 2011 at 9:42 pm

I always thought she looked like Peter Boyle.

Crank_Tango January 21, 2011 at 12:41 pm

I don't think they could really make her over unless you can drive a bobcat across that melon of hers…I guess it just might work!

jim89048 January 21, 2011 at 1:22 pm

She could sell ad space on that forehead!

baconzgood January 21, 2011 at 12:50 pm

Got Belt Sander?

PresBeeblebrox January 22, 2011 at 11:04 am

A leather tit-jacket would be a good start.

WriteyWriterton January 22, 2011 at 3:53 pm

Would not hit that, if/while sentient.

bitchincamaro2 January 21, 2011 at 12:29 pm

Run, Thumb-face, run!

bumfug January 21, 2011 at 1:22 pm

A thumb with Ben Franklin's haircut – now, THAT'S attractive!

Beetagger January 21, 2011 at 12:29 pm

I must pitch my mad video production skillz to her stat! I smell a cash cow~

Ducksworthy January 21, 2011 at 1:01 pm

Cow with cash=Cash Cow? OK

jim89048 January 21, 2011 at 1:23 pm

Fred Davis?

MistaEko January 21, 2011 at 12:30 pm

Whitman in the last months has sought a detailed explanation regarding what went wrong in her resounding defeat by Brown

You hired a known illegal immigrant while campaigning on anti-immigration rhetoric, madam, thus embracing the only kiss-of-death American politics has left nowadays – blatant hypocrisy.

What other large California constituencies can you alienate in this go round with a scandal? Gays and fundies when a lesbian lover reveals how you kicked her to the curb for political gain? Let's go with lesbian lover.

V572625694 January 21, 2011 at 12:36 pm

Her other bone-headed ploy was going a commercial about how great CA was when she moved there — and Jerry Brown was goobernor. Ha ha ha….

not that Dewey January 21, 2011 at 12:48 pm

Both of you! Now! Stop giving her free advice! Those four sentences are worth about $152M.

DustBowlBlues January 21, 2011 at 12:57 pm

Best political ad laugh, ever. Even better than demon sheep, which was mostly just freaky. On the other hand, this gives us an entirely new venue for expressing how much we hate this clueless bitch.

WriteyWriterton January 22, 2011 at 3:56 pm

"..other boneheaded play"? I thought she offered a groaning board of them.

ManchuCandidate January 21, 2011 at 12:30 pm

Silly Meg, I've told you many many many times… despite what you think there is no "BUY IT NOW" feature in US America politics. That's what the e-voting machines are FOR.

Katydid January 21, 2011 at 12:36 pm

I just love this comment.

V572625694 January 21, 2011 at 12:37 pm

I was going to say, "I'm rich, I want it, I should have it," but you did so much better. But check the alt-text…

GOPCrusher January 21, 2011 at 4:47 pm

Typical American CEO. "Because I said so" doesn't really work in business, and throwing more money at a stupid idea, doesn't fix the problem either.

fuflans January 21, 2011 at 12:31 pm

well as long as she keeps up the fine CA senate tradition of demon sheep ads, i'm all for it.

DustBowlBlues January 21, 2011 at 12:58 pm

Beat me to it.

freakishlywrong January 21, 2011 at 12:34 pm

Why wait until 2012!? I'm sure the crazy as ratfuck Republicans in Cali are going to "repeal" Jerry Brown any second now. It's what they do.

Boredw/Gravity January 21, 2011 at 3:44 pm

Get Issa on this. He was so successful the first time. Besides, I don't think he has anything else on his plate right now.

PeaceWithHonor January 21, 2011 at 12:34 pm

Oh, please. This would be such comedy. Feinstein would grind her into compost. Hey Meg, here are your choices: Spend $150 million, cater to your racist base and get trounced. Or, spend half that, and say nice things about immigrants. Oh yeah, and you still lose.

V572625694 January 21, 2011 at 12:48 pm

If Fiorina couldn't beat a weak candidate like Boxer, there's no way Whitman can beat a powerhouse like DiFei. But thanks for playing! As a parting gift, you'll get a home version of "Buy this Ego Trip!"

SorosBot January 21, 2011 at 12:35 pm

It's strange that she's spending so much time trying to figure out why she lost to Brown when it should be obvious. He was popular and likeable, she was not, and ran a horrible campaign where she ran to the far right in what's basically a left-wing state.

berkeleyfarm January 22, 2011 at 12:20 am

It's hilarious, in a complete "OMGWTF" sort of way. There have got to be at least a million people in this state who could break it down as coherently. I guess the "consultants" aren't quite ready to get off that gravy train. I hope they are charging her a lot of money for the "information".

Clancy_Pants January 21, 2011 at 12:36 pm

Meg speaks her peace.

baconzgood January 21, 2011 at 12:47 pm

That Turky just out debated her.

Barbara_i January 21, 2011 at 12:36 pm

Politics is show business for ugly people

V572625694 January 21, 2011 at 12:48 pm

And Sarah P. Not (physically) ugly yet, but definitely working on it. The anger and envy show through like a burning ember scarring the jowls.

Barbara_i January 21, 2011 at 1:04 pm

That's so true, friend. If she were to put a smile on, go swing a hammer for Habitat for Humanity, stop making shit up and being a mean girl bully she could probably rule the world.

If I were on her PR staff, the first thing I would do is work on the tone and pitch of her voice.

BarackMyWorld January 21, 2011 at 1:28 pm

Sarah Palin in 5 years.

(Minus hairnet.)

Ugg_the_Repug January 21, 2011 at 1:35 pm

Why minus hairnet? She gonna use halibut net?

Barbara_i January 21, 2011 at 1:50 pm

Thanks BarackMyWold! Now I am craving sloppy joes and tater tots.

GOPCrusher January 21, 2011 at 4:49 pm

Maybe a few years, working the line at the tuna canning plant, will teach her some humility.

DustBowlBlues January 21, 2011 at 1:02 pm

Old saying, and always in order when talking about rich Republicans. Has she even considered the fact that Feinstein is a conservative Democrat? The one that California Republicans don't hate the way they do Barbara Boxer? Babs, btw, is the only person who gave Inhofe a big, big smackdown that was shown on cable and garnered her so many bouquets and floral arrangements from Oklahomans that they wouldn't fit in her office and were dumped on Walter Reed?

DemmeFatale January 22, 2011 at 1:52 pm

I never thought I'd side with a conservative like Feinstein, (SO not liberal enough for me), but Meg is an idiot. Why doesn't she build a hospital instead?

(I also loved "elections have consequences.")

refudiatedness January 21, 2011 at 12:37 pm

She can lose to me for the bargain price of 1 million dollars (US).

Ducksworthy January 21, 2011 at 12:57 pm

OK I'll bid. She can lose to ME for $4 million.

SudsMcKenzie January 21, 2011 at 12:38 pm

Meg and Mitt should just get a room.

Lascauxcaveman January 21, 2011 at 1:32 pm

Why would Mitt … when he's so much prettier than her? It's not like he needs to turn tricks to get by.

trampndirtdown January 21, 2011 at 9:48 pm

His magic undies would protect him from that evil temptress.

slithytoves January 21, 2011 at 12:42 pm

O vice versa.

Beowoof January 21, 2011 at 12:43 pm

You know if you work in advertising or own a TV station in California, you have to be drooling. This dumb ass thinks that she can throw another big pile of money into campaign spending and win. I hope she spends unitl she needs her social security check everymonth. This is a one woman stimulus for California television and radio.

Amaravilha January 21, 2011 at 12:44 pm

I like the alternative ending in my head where she spends her time and money fighting to restore the good name and employment prospects of her deported housekeeper, helps out the family, lobbies successfully in Sacramento and DC for immigration reform and the DREAM Act, and gains a loyal Latino following, showing the way toward justice, fairness, and light….

And then Meg rises to campaign in 2012 as a new type of tolerant Republican, moving to erase the memory of Pete Wilson selling out his soul for 187…

and then gets brutally crushed by Darrel Issa in the primary, and Issa goes on to lose to DiFi.

That's a happy ending, and not some narcissist futile act.

V572625694 January 21, 2011 at 12:52 pm

Those aren't Harvard B-School virtues you're imagining Meg could reach down inside herself to find, in this lovely scenario.

DustBowlBlues January 21, 2011 at 1:06 pm

You have a dream. A good one. Please add to your dream scenario that Issa resigns his congressional seat to campaign full time. Teabaggers destroy her and Palin comes to town to denounce her.

A warm, warm thought to take into what is a frosty weekend here in the Dust Bowl.

berkeleyfarm January 21, 2011 at 11:07 pm

I really like the way your story plays out. Especially, as noted above, if Issa quits his house seat.

It's the only way Republicans are going to win state-wide office in California in the future. Wilson ever so effectively screwed the pooch in 1994, a classic example of winning the battle but losing the war. Before that, they did win the occasional election. ;)

Tundra Grifter January 21, 2011 at 12:45 pm

“Sources say Whitman in the last months has sought a detailed explanation regarding what went wrong in her resounding defeat by Brown…"

OK – I'll bite. Just where does she go to get that explanation? From the folks she hired and paid to win the election that she lost?

From Gov. Brown's people who won?

From the media she was so nice to and generally went out of her way to court – particularly by not bothering them for "interviews" or other Q&A sessions?

Folks with big bucks can always find politicial operatives to hire. The problem is the really good ones not only want to get paid – they want to win.

V572625694 January 21, 2011 at 12:53 pm

Bob Schrum has many theories! Just ask him!

problemwithcaring January 21, 2011 at 1:45 pm

Mark Penn still around?

zhubajie January 22, 2011 at 8:23 am

Where will she go for that info? Astrologers. Psychics. Mexican haruspices perhaps. In Arkansas, eg, she'd probably consult Pentecostal prophets who'd speak in tongues and tell her she wasn't condemning sin enough or tithing to said prophet, but I don't know about if such people are as common in CA.

CapeClod January 21, 2011 at 12:47 pm

"Sources say Whitman in the last months has sought a detailed explanation regarding what went wrong in her resounding defeat by Brown"

She could have done that by simply looking in the mirror.

baconzgood January 21, 2011 at 12:48 pm

Maybe she's like that dude in the Brewster's Millions movie where she HAS to spend alot of money and have nothing to show for it.

weejee January 21, 2011 at 12:51 pm

Meg, once again you're e-basing yerself.

MiniMencken January 21, 2011 at 12:52 pm

Hand me yon topmaul, Starbuck! A Spanish gold ounce for the first one of ye as spots the white whale!

Chet Kincaid January 21, 2011 at 5:05 pm

That should be, "Hand me my Starbucks, Topmaul! $500,000 for the first PowerPoint that parses my FAIL!"

MiniMencken January 21, 2011 at 5:20 pm

Not bad, Chet, Old Boy, not bad at all! You may have a future in this commenting business after all.

zhubajie January 22, 2011 at 8:25 am

I doubt she's half as classy or as educated at Capt. Ahab, so is she the White Whale?

MiniMencken January 22, 2011 at 1:32 pm

Aye, me hearty, that she is… And it was her as did THIS to me…Mad, you say?…I am madness maddened and leave a white and turbid wake where ere I go…I shall not rest until she rolls fin up and spouts black blood!

x111e7thst January 21, 2011 at 12:52 pm

Her first step should be to solicit Carly Fiorina's advice on how to run a senatorial campaign. After that she should talk to a certain Delaware witch about masturbation.

Maman January 21, 2011 at 12:52 pm

Maybe Meg and fight it out with Carly Fiorina over who can spend the most money to lose an election

EdFlintstone January 21, 2011 at 12:52 pm

Meg, I think it was the female pattern baldness.

SheriffRoscoe January 21, 2011 at 12:53 pm

Which candidate is more likely to stink up the lavatory and leave skid marks on the bowl? Meg Whitman, that's who.

Roscoe has had the privilege of meeting both women during his travels.

jim89048 January 21, 2011 at 1:31 pm

You poor dear!

Ducksworthy January 21, 2011 at 12:54 pm

To quote John Cleese "What awful people"

Callyson January 21, 2011 at 12:54 pm

NutMeg is either truly clueless…
…or, she is a brilliant Democratic strategist who went undercover as a witless GOP gubernatorial nominee to keep CA blue in a Republican election cycle, decided that politics was more exciting than the business world, and now wants to make sure no one questions whether Dianne Feinstein is too old to serve another term.
PS: Senator Feinstein, get that grin off your face. At least in public.

Lascauxcaveman January 21, 2011 at 1:45 pm

I don't think it matters to DiFi which particular lamb the Republicans care to sacrifice on the altar of her next re-election. Unless she owns stock in California teevee stations, ad companies and whatnot. She filthy rich already, isn't she?

LionelHutzEsq January 21, 2011 at 12:55 pm

Clearly, what Meg needs to do is to get someone to leak to Gawker stories of her sordid trysts, born-again-virginity, and unkempt Bush. Also let drop a few stories about how she used to be a witch and how she is living off of her campaign funds.

It might not have worked in Delaware, but in California, it has a good chance.

Now, Ms. Whitman, that is $650,000.00 for the campaign advice. Trust me, it is better than any you are paying for from the consultants that have been wasting your money for the last few years.

SheriffRoscoe January 21, 2011 at 12:55 pm

Run a demon sheep ad Meg, with lousy, cheap production values. That was the one good thing the Fiorina campaign had going for it.

walstib January 21, 2011 at 12:56 pm

Please won't someone in CA please just give this thing a doughnut so she'll be happy and STFU.

Alternatively, take one for the team and just schtup her for the next five or six years.

And also, too.

mereoblivion January 21, 2011 at 12:57 pm

"Whitman in the last months has sought a detailed explanation regarding what went wrong in her resounding defeat by Brown."

Everyone thought you were somehow related to that flaming queen who wrote "Leaves of Grass," okay?

LionelHutzEsq January 21, 2011 at 12:58 pm

Maybe Meg is hoping to take a page from Sharron Angle and win through the use of Second Amendment remedies?

SayItWithWookies January 21, 2011 at 12:59 pm

Hey, this is supposed to be the country where being rich confers on one the wisdom of Solomon, the generalship of Patton and the charisma of Reagan. Obviously the reason Whitman lost her previous election was that the people of California are too stupid to see her eminent qualifications — so what she really needs to be running for is president-for-life or some similar position that really fits her high qualifications.

horsedreamer_1 January 21, 2011 at 12:59 pm

Whittles can win — if she can convince Jello Biafra to channel his antipathy for Feinstein into another run against.

I doubt it would take that much convincing to get that record-label owner collectivist attention-whore Green-droid to run.

Frankenfood for everyone!

DustBowlBlues January 21, 2011 at 1:07 pm

How much do we hate this woman? How wide is the ocean? How deep is the sea?

JoshuaNorton January 21, 2011 at 1:09 pm

Hey Meg! Can I have some munnies?

gurukalehuru January 21, 2011 at 1:10 pm

The good side of this is that if she actually won, we'd be rid of Feinstein.

Smitros January 21, 2011 at 1:11 pm

Ah, what the hell. Some of my college friends grew up to be Republican pollsters and campaigners, and they could use the payday. Not that even they could get her elected but, again, what the hell.

berkeleyfarm January 21, 2011 at 11:10 pm

I know a number of people who are indy news producers. Meg kept a fair few of them employed.

Oblios_Cap January 21, 2011 at 1:12 pm

When you live in your own little bubble in gated communities, anything is possible.

LetUsBray January 21, 2011 at 1:12 pm

Meg wants to know what went wrong? I can tell her what went wrong. What went wrong was that she based her whole campaign on saturating the airwaves with horrible ads that showed her to be the biggest fucking asshole in the entire state of California. And CA is a big state with lots of assholes. That's what went wrong, ya gigantic fucking asshole.

Name_Tag January 21, 2011 at 1:14 pm

everyone lauded ahnuld for living out the american dream.

sad downside is that any remotely wealthy person now thinks 'i can do that!'

__kth__ January 21, 2011 at 1:20 pm

She and $200 extra large can't beat Jerry Brown in a season of teabagging, and she thinks she can beat the less-moonbeamy DiFi in a year divisible by 4 when normal people actually show up to vote? How the hell did she ever amass a billion dollars?

WriteyWriterton January 22, 2011 at 4:02 pm

By relying on the stupid of strangers.

PalinPussyPower January 21, 2011 at 1:21 pm

Oh Meg, really? This again? Why don't you just give me ten or twenty million and I'll fuck you, harder than California did during your last attempt to be elected. I'll polish that forehead real good.

mavenmaven January 21, 2011 at 1:22 pm

I want that consultancy job. I'd like to get paid huge amounts of money fabricating excuses for rich folks about how everything wrong is someone else's fault.

Come here a minute January 21, 2011 at 1:23 pm

This is the state that elected Reagan and Schwarzenegger — do you really think they're not stupid enough to elect Megs?

BarackMyWorld January 21, 2011 at 1:37 pm

It should be noted that this is the state that once elected both Ronald Reagan and Jerry Brown to statewide offices IN THE EXACT SAME ELECTION.

DemmeFatale January 22, 2011 at 2:25 pm

But Reagan and Arnold had some semblance of charisma, and they knew how to put on a show, (however phony), for the electorate.

jim89048 January 21, 2011 at 1:23 pm

If politics is truly showbiz for ugly people, how could she possibly lose?

Wilcoxyz January 21, 2011 at 1:25 pm

She should change her name to Reincess Priebus. That'll build some momentum. And cause birf certificate issues.

mereoblivion January 21, 2011 at 2:34 pm

Then she can play Buttercup in "The Reincess Pride."

BarackMyWorld January 21, 2011 at 1:32 pm

All this money being pumped into TV and radio stations reminds me that the FCC leases the airwaves to them for free in exchange for informing the public.

And by "reminds me" I mean it helps me realize that it works completely the opposite of the way it is supposed to.

FlownOver January 21, 2011 at 1:34 pm

This is some pretty lousy estate planning if you ask me.

imissopus January 21, 2011 at 1:39 pm

I might stay in California until 2012 just so I can vote against The Forehead That Ate Sacramento.

hagajim January 21, 2011 at 1:40 pm

C'mon guys…give Meg and li'l Carly some credit…this is apparently how they decided they would let their millions "trickle down" to the little people…by spending a shitload of cash for a useless cause.

problemwithcaring January 21, 2011 at 1:40 pm

Americans have become big fans of the Doomed Venture.

Fixed it for ya'.

Mindblank January 21, 2011 at 1:52 pm

With that kind of money, she should just create a Disney-esque theme park where she is queen with the right of High and Low justice.

VeraSevera January 21, 2011 at 1:55 pm

I still have the "Bobble-head Meg" song stuck in my head. ;<(

mourningnmerica January 21, 2011 at 1:57 pm

Meg, I can help you get elected. If you will trust me completely, and follow my advice to the letter, we can make it happen. OK? Here we go.
1. You look like Linda Tripp's twin sister. Your mug scares children. Their parents therefore turn the channel before your awesome message can reach them. Get some cosmetic surgery. A lot. Moderates love big titties. Do it.
2. Embrace Mexicans. For example, "Like, 'em, hell, I hired 'em."
3. Ask your sons to stop raping women.
4. If your sons continue to rape women, pay more to cover it up, so that it, you know, it actually GETS covered up. I mean shit, you have money. Use it. Effectively.
4. Never, ever admit that you are a homosexual. No one, and especially gay San Francisco voters, likes a fat lesbian.
5. Make it harder to snipe someone in the last 30 seconds. It's not fair, and I am tired of being sooooo close, then, awwwww……

mereoblivion January 21, 2011 at 2:35 pm

"No one, and especially gay San Francisco voters, likes a fat lesbian." Oh, c'mon, who was more beloved than Liberace? Oh, wait . . .

AlaskaGrrl January 21, 2011 at 3:12 pm

Sources say Whitman in the last months has sought a detailed explanation regarding what went wrong in her resounding defeat by Brown…

That would be; "You sucked as a candidate, Meg. You were so transparently trying to buy the office that even for a Republican, your lies and hypocrisy were just over the top. That and pissing off every Hispanic voter in the state for beating up on your Mexican maid and then trying to deport her."

transfatz January 22, 2011 at 2:00 am

Yeah, but can you say that in PERT and HIPO? Consultants, ho!

seppdecker January 21, 2011 at 3:18 pm

This level of stupid will never not be funny. She's like the Three Stooges of politics.

Troubledog January 21, 2011 at 4:26 pm

That girl got a bigass head on her.

miss_grundy January 21, 2011 at 4:36 pm

If Whitman wants to piss away her money, I'll take it since she obviously doesn't need it or want it. I'm sure I could do more with it than she has.

GeorgiaBurning January 21, 2011 at 6:09 pm

I'll tell you Meg: sucking up to the Orange County idiots was the key to both winning the Republican nomination and losing the election statewide. Just look at the last 20 years or so. Let somebody else score more points with the insane right (Issa maybe?) and you will look better by comparison. There's your analysis, and I'll take Paypal.

donner_froh January 21, 2011 at 6:49 pm

Seeking a detailed explanation of what went wrong is usually CEO/consultant speak for "time to send layoff notices to ten percent of the workforce and tell the rest of them how lucky they are to still be working here."

Guess that doesn't work when trying to get elected.

GeorgiaPeachy January 21, 2011 at 7:22 pm

Fascinatin' that even California papers don't get it right, buy DiFi is not "never-defeated."

She was the losing candidate for Governator in 1990 to Pete Wilson.

berkeleyfarm January 21, 2011 at 11:17 pm

This is indeed true. She definitely took some lessons in that campaign, though, and is a tough campaigner.

transfatz January 22, 2011 at 1:54 am

Eisenhower, you look awful in that wig.

PresBeeblebrox January 22, 2011 at 11:10 am

What, Mr. Death-Rictus-Grin himself? Now that would be fucking funny. Especially how his dad was a Flaming Queen who used to take his houseboys on hot air balloon rides and do whatever to them. Wonder what it's like to be the son of a beard?

Greghe January 22, 2011 at 2:42 pm

Meg Whitman wants to know what "went wrong" with her campaign? The answer of course is that nothing went wrong. She lost because she was terrible as a candidate and even worse as a person.

So what "went wrong" for Meg Whitman's campaign is simply that democracy worked.

alaninthecastro January 22, 2011 at 7:49 pm

Ms. Whitman is at once a major stimulus and a major buzzkill.

zhubajie January 24, 2011 at 5:22 am

"Meg Whitman Now Hoping To Piss"

Some kind of blockage? VD damage?

ShaveTheWhales January 24, 2011 at 7:10 am

This poses a serious problem for me. I've committed to never voting for DiFi again, for a number of reasons, the final one being her vote to confirm Mukasey as AG.

Now, I'll admit that since she's 130 years old (or whatever), I never expected her to run for anything again. But I am still pretty well pissed off at her.

But now I'm gonna be confronted with Mega-forehead? Fuck. There are almost 40 million people in Cali. Can't the Democrats come up with somebody a bit short of mummification?

DustBowlBlues January 21, 2011 at 1:44 pm

Unless the wiki has him mixed up with someone else, this guy was a total douchebag. Still, it was kind of showoffy snark.

jim89048 January 21, 2011 at 1:56 pm

Guess I missed my chance, my one shot at self of steam.

Ken Layne January 21, 2011 at 5:39 pm

Slowly, everyone is having a cat avatar. When did chascates "go cat"?

DustBowlBlues January 21, 2011 at 2:44 pm

It's a seldom acknowledged facet of "our" the wonket. Thanks for pointing it out. This was Ken's goal when he saved wonkette.

Seriously: only smart people can be funny. Conservatard "humor" is on the level of, "You have a face like a frog. Get it?"

Ergo, the wonkeratti are smart. Not to mention erudite and often drunk.

DustBowlBlues January 21, 2011 at 2:45 pm

How could I forget? Trucknutz. Also. [applause].

HistoriCat January 21, 2011 at 11:19 pm

It was either a cat or a picture of my penis. I think I made the right choice.

WriteyWriterton January 22, 2011 at 3:54 pm

Not me, not ever. I hate our current cats. They've put me off house cats forevs.

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