it's morning in america

Anti-Business Obama Puts Another CEO In Charge of America

  • Worship it harder.In a desperate bid to prove he worships Wall Street enough to be allowed to remain president, Barack Obama has appointed General Electric CEO Jeffrey Immelt to the new White House group that will decide if CEOs are being treated well enough. (Obama is also shutting down the economic recovery panel led by Paul Volcker.) It’s the latest move for a president who is extremely worried that some liberal on the Internet or all the voters who supported him in 2008 might think he’s some kind of commie softy who doesn’t know his place, which is to serve the nation’s biggest corporations with no questions asked. Obama went to the important “net roots” blog The Wall Street Journal earlier this week to assure his masters that the White House would aggressively target environmental laws and other potential problems for the American mega-businesses still doing some operations in America. And earlier this month, Obama picked a new White House chief of staff that better reflects his desire to be a better servant to Wall Street: JPMorgan Chase executive William Daley. [Politico/Wall Street Journal/Fair Warning]
  • Speaking of our new White House chief of staff, Bill Daley, he doesn’t have to pay taxes on his sale of $8.3 million in JPMorgan Chase shares. This is because of “government ethics rules.” [Bloomberg]
  • Meanwhile, legal arrangements are being made in the White House and in Congress so that all the bankrupt states can officially go bankrupt and screw both their creditors and their retired public workers. [New York Times]

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Barbara_i

    G.E. "we bring good things to life" (death panels)

    • Negropolis

      Zombies.

      Brains; BRAINS!!

  • Ducksworthy

    Where's Moses when you need him?

  • Boredw/Gravity

    Obama's also changing the letterhead to read "United States of America, Inc."

    • http://wonkette.com Clancy_Pants

      Might be better as an LLC?

    • http://www.kenlayisalive.org kenlayisalive

      United States of America, Inc. (A wholly owned subsidiary of Goldman Sachs).

      There we go.

    • Negropolis

      The United States of America, Presented by Yum! Brands, Inc.

    • transfatz

      Made in China.

    • ChapterUndVerse

      Subsidized Time can only be next. David Foster Wallace, we salute you, a unrecognized profit prophet.

  • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Knowing a bit about the culture at GE… get ready to be "Six Sigmaed" to solvency, US America.

    • freakishlywrong

      I'm currently at the level of "fucked belt".

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I love the smell of change in the morning. Smells like victory.

    • Pragmatist2

      Smells like school spirit.

      • Boredw/Gravity

        Nah, it just smells.

    • Negropolis

      If it's GE, is smells like a box of broken CFLs.

  • Terry

    "Meanwhile, legal arrangements are being made in the White House and in Congress so that all the bankrupt states can officially go bankrupt and screw both their creditors and their retired public workers."

    Some of those same states are trying to screw their residents out of health care, too. Multi-tasking!

    • SorosBot

      Trying? Arizona's cutbacks already have a body count.

      • Ducksworthy

        And who says government doesn't work? When it comes to killing people govt. is the best.

        • Terry

          Well, corporations have a pretty long track record of killing or maiming people, too. Factory explosions (Bopal, Texas City (multiple times), etc), mining disasters (West Virginia(multiple times), etc), faulty or contaminated products (too numerous to list).

          • OC_Surf_Serf

            Yes, indeed…but a couple wars in Mesopotamia are keeping the Government score in the lead.

          • Terry

            Mesopotamia plus part of the Median Empire.

          • OC_Surf_Serf

            Yeah..those Medians were much stronger than the Modes but eventually lost out to the Mean Empire.

          • charlesdegoal

            Above average: thumb.

          • Ducksworthy

            Perhaps. But these corporate killings could only be accomplished with Govt. assistance, or at least acquiescence. Also.

          • jim89048

            I'm sure the death panels will be subsidized, too.

          • BaldarTFlagass

            I can't believe you guys are ignoring the all-time world champeen, millenium in and millenium out, of killing people: Organized Religion.

          • Ducksworthy

            OK You win.

          • glamourdammerung

            Organised religion could not have pulled the Holocaust off without corporate sponsor IBM even with a German government dedicated to defending Christianity against the heathens.

    • charlesdegoal

      OK. Nationalize the banks AND the states, then.

      • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

        nationalize the MBAs

      • Ducksworthy

        Don't forget the Churches.

  • http://littlewanking.blogspot.com/ harry_palmer

    He can grovel all he wants; to the plutocrats he'll always be "one of those."

    • horsedreamer_1

      Jeffrey Wright in Syriana?

    • ttommyunger

      Excuse me, but following orders is, technically, not groveling.

    • glamourdammerung

      Does that make him one of the "good ones"?

    • Negropolis

      Forget about the racial element. These fuckers don't care who they steal from, and they will never be sated. Obama could privatize the treasury and they'd still be bitching about the government being mean to them. I say cut the fuckers loose and let them survive in the market they love to worship as some invisible god.

  • V572625694

    Time to trot out Jack Welch's divorce settlement again. How many stockholder zillions had to be conferred upon his wife again because Jack took a shine to the Harvard B-school magazine editor who interviewed him?

    There's so much to learn from corporate America! They are our true heroes!

    • prommie

      You mean "Nice Tits" Welsh?

  • SorosBot

    Goddammit, Obama, stop listening to the slanderers in the mainstream media and give our nation's CEOs what they deserve: a one-way ticket down to Gitmo and the full Cheney treatment.

    • baconzgood

      You want to pepper them in the face with buck shot?

    • transfatz

      You want to rip their hearts out and replace them with machines? Oh wait, no need to do that.

  • Ruhe

    Good news for Obama! He can be the environmental issue push over that Big Industry wants him to be since it turns out that Global Climate Warming is all really the fault of…wait for it…the Sun! And the Sun's pesky cosmic rays, which it sends to us lovingly without realizing how much it hurts our Industries by scaring all the climate-simpletons out there into thinking that the sky is falling. Obama should promise the industrial lobby that he'll give the Sun a stern talking to right away and maybe even withhold the state dinner the Sun is expecting.

    • SorosBot

      Ah yes, the old "the sun is responsible for global warming" bullshit. It is true that the sun is slowly getting hotter which should effect the Earth's climate; but the key word is SLOWLY, as in that there's no noticeable difference below the scale of several tens of millions of years.

      • Ducksworthy

        I hate to pick. Bt Affect/Effect? One is usually a verb the other isn't.

    • transfatz

      He should cut off its unemployment benefits since all it does is roll around heaven all day.

  • prommie

    Have you read Griftopia, Layne? This is the function of the federal government, to serve its corporate masters.

  • sarjo

    Immelt? Does that mean we can soon look forward to a Martha Stewart-led Dept of Interior(s)?

    • transfatz

      Now the oil slicks will come in more tasteful shades of avocado and cheery yellows.

  • charlesdegoal

    It's as though once elected, the staunchest advocates of social justice would have some kind of epiphany and become firm believers in the ability of capitalism to cure society's ills. Either that or power corrupts.

    • Ducksworthy

      Power corrupts? Also, threat of assassination probably enters into it. The Mafia dons are really the same as the other captains of industry, just with more colorful nicknames.

    • http://littlewanking.blogspot.com/ harry_palmer

      He said in his Inaugural Speech questioning our capitalist system, like questioning the CIA interrogators, wasn't gonna happen.

  • Tundra Grifter

    At the risk of being serious on a Friday morning: If states can go BK and screw their bondholders, investors will shed the tax-free munis they are now holding and buy US government debt.

    Gov. Jerry Brown here in California wants to wipe out redevelopment agencies. What happens to all that debt?

    This has to drive up interest rates, no matter how hard the Fed strives to keep them down.

    Mississippi still can't find buyers in England because of its default on bonds issued to support a state bank – and I believe that was circa 1830-1840. Those bondholders spent about one hundred and thirty or forty years trying to collect.

  • Pragmatist2

    One day he's Batman. The next day he's Bruce Wayne.

    • mereoblivion

      Which days is he Batman, again? I must be dozing through those. (Or, as Bill Daley would say, Dozing tru doze.)

  • smokefilledroommate

    government ethics rules !!!!1!

  • TheHigherSpread

    You know, my chief observation about Dubya and why he provoked so much panic was that he wasn't necessarily doing anything that other presidents hadn't done previously — the National Security State was humming along quite nicely for five decades — but that he was so fucking transparent, obvious, and clumsy about transforming several arms of the government into the Ministry of Love that there was no alternative to scream at him. The illusion had shattered, and only those who were prone to denial couldn't see that the hammer was coming down.

    Obama's doing the same thing. The business of America has always been business, but at least other presidents and administrations could hedge or dodge. Not our boy Obama! The Middle-Manager-in-Chief just cold doesn't care.

  • slithytoves

    This is a real pick me up today.

  • freakishlywrong

    We're being fisted again by some asshole. BRB, going to fist up!™ my Wonkateers.

    • SorosBot

      We had a few (even more incoherent than usual) comments from the name-changing troll yesterday, so I'm guessing he's still lurking around, downfisting us and waiting to make some nonsensical unfunny "joke" that probably refers to some wingnut conspiracy theory or meme no one outside those insular circles has ever heard of.

      • freakishlywrong

        NEEDS MOAR BANHAMMER.

    • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

      I'm fisting up!™ all common taters, per your instructions.

      For great p-ness!
      ~

  • horsedreamer_1

    Thing about state pensions: the largest share go to retired cops, sheriffs, & prison-guards, & they vote — Republican.

    No way the Job-Kyling Senator from Arizona & his minions will want to rile up those armed & angry white men. (Oh, who am I kidding? The GOP will blame it on the costs of incarcerating all that darkness, then wink-wink-nudge-nudge the Falangists into taking out their ire at that fact against the Darkness currently squatting at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.)

    • ChapterUndVerse

      Story in my area recently: brouhaha over the loss of free Fox programming in the offices at the district courthouse. Replaced with CNN, which is insufficiently patriotic, fair, and balanced, evidently. Word is that all the screens will go black if they all don't STFU about being able to watch TV on the taxpayer's dime.

  • slithytoves

    Troll fucker. Go shove it up your own ass.

    • horsedreamer_1

      Thank you.

  • OC_Surf_Serf

    government ethics rules…THEY EXIST??

    • horsedreamer_1

      It's a Miracle!

      • SorosBot

        Fuckin' government ethics; how do they work?

  • HolyMaracas

    Goddammit, Barry…just when things were starting to look up for you.

  • baconzgood

    And still Glenn Beck will call him a socialist. I'm glad GE is advising the prez. As you know GE is the most nicest, moral, social concious, prettiest and trusted company in the history of the universe….I love GE and they smell soooooo nice.

    • bureaucrap

      well at least they haven't shut down MSNBC (yet).

      • SorosBot

        Now that the sale of NBC is just about done, we'll see if Commcast decides to interfere. The shitty way they treat their customers and the fact that their headquarters (the tallest building in my city) looks somewhat like Barad-dûr fills me with confidence.

  • glamourdammerung

    Surprised the troll(s) is not trying to tell us how another of theres is a "leftist":
    http://content.usatoday.com/communities/ondeadlin

    • freakishlywrong

      Trolls don't need to, the "librul" media will report it as such. Because an "arancho-capitalist " comic book dealing gun-nut just screams "far left loon".

      • horsedreamer_1

        Another stunted adolescent, still jerking to Objectivism.

    • SorosBot

      Knowing our media, this will be used to tar comic book fans instead of anti-government gun nuts. Or just ignored, like the MLK parade attempted bombing.

      • glamourdammerung

        The bad part about the MLK parade bombing is that I did not immediately call it as a teabagger until the feds commented on how ineptly the device was made.

    • glamourdammerung

      Er, "theirs".

      Hurf-durf.

    • GOPCrusher

      Considering how much they rail against the "government" when there is a Democrat or Democrats running it, not sure how their little brains process the information that anyone that is anti-government and arrested, is a "leftist".
      A comic-book dealer? I'm sure he was one of those small business owners that they were trying to convince the American public would go away, if they weren't given more tax cuts.
      Assholes.

  • prommie

    Don't go there, either. Trust me. Makes Alabama look almost civilized.

    • Terry

      Ocean Springs is a great place and the college towns are pretty nice, too.

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    Just more of Bush's 3rd term.

    And of course, it will never be enough for either the teatards or their plutocrat masters.

    Thanks for nothing, DINO corporatists.
    ~

  • lefty74

    Invision happy little cute elephant cubs dancing in the rain with the birds cherping and flowers abloom. Yes the Madison Ave. version of GE and Wall St. (HURL)
    Can't fiire 10% of the workforce every year in all walks of life Mr. Dickhead Immelt.

    • Rotundo_

      Ah, yes, rank 'n' yank, that lofty H.R. tactic for helping people grow, elsewhere, unless you're well loved by upper management. It is amazing how they believe that lopping 10% of your staff yearly (cutting that deadwood) helps. It turns review time into an annual dead pool, which can't help but boost morale and productivity! Work every minute like your life depends on it, 'cause it does, motherfucker! The geniuses that came up with this "philosophy" will smoke a reeeeeaaallllllyy big turd in eternal hell if such a thing existed. Unfortunately it doesn't and they instead bask in comfort and security, and sleep peacefully and soundly every night.

  • neiltheblaze

    Oh goodie – now maybe Republicans will stop calling him a Kenyan fascist communist Nazi now that they understand he quivers at Wall Street's loins just like they do.

    • BarackMyWorld

      Riiiiiiiiight.

  • dr_giraud

    The Preznit is meeting Immelt today at GE in Schenectady, which is hilarious and apt, because GE has been downsizing, insulting and shitting on Schenectady with ruthless efficiency for decades. Immelt will draw on this wonderful legacy to forge a vision that maximizes corporate efficiency in downsizing, insulting and shitting on the rest of America.

    • transfatz

      Ah, if it were only shit and not PCBs.

  • Come here a minute

    How much to lease a luxury box at the State of the Union?

  • ttommyunger

    Psst. Corporate Moguls and Political Sellouts: can you say "Tunisia"?

    • http://www.kenlayisalive.org kenlayisalive

      Oh to dream. If everyone could drag his/her ass out of starbucks/neighborhood hipster bar and onto the streets, we'd probably have something.

      But that won't happen.

    • Oblios_Cap

      We're too Exceptional to get off of our fat asses and actually protest, much less riot in the streets.

      • ttommyunger

        It would seem so, at least so far.

  • jim89048

    G.E.'s a pretty good guitarist, at least.

  • BarackMyWorld

    You see, this just proves Obama is a socialist. He's putting CEOs in charge of the government so when the government takes over the corporations the transition will be easier because the same people will still be in charge.

    **millions of dittoheads and tea partiers nod in agreement**

    • http://wonkette.com/ slowhansolo

      You just saved Mike Reagan about two days' effort.

  • Oblios_Cap

    "What's good for GE is good for America". Fucking Communist.

  • http://wonkette.com/ slowhansolo

    Remember when Bubba drifted center to save his ass? Same thing, except Barry's starting from the center. According to Michael Reagan, in a recent column, all blacks live conservative but vote for Democrats, for some reason.

    • GOPCrusher

      It's that Democrat Plantation.

  • Beanball

    Don't look at me. I voted for Kucinich.

  • Negropolis

    Obama is the most needy president I've ever seen. Gawd. Maybe, we should ignore his calls and texts for the next few days so he gets the hint.

    You know what happens when you try to straddle a picket fence to carefully? Sometimes, you actually find the middle…and fall on it. Speaking of which, a deer impaled itself on the gate of Eminem's mansion in suburban Detroit the other night. Or, at least that's his story and he's sticking to it.

  • transfatz

    Careful Barry, that golden calf has parasites.

  • NadePaulKuciGravMcKi

    GE outsourcing NAFTA

  • Oblios_Cap

    He must be on the NRO cruise with Andy and the Doughy Pantload!

  • GOPCrusher

    Is there a NAMBLA sponsored Carribean Cruise?