Suddenly it's controversial that the Washington Post is full of dumb boobs?America’s strangest joke of a newspaper is the Washington Post, an Onion-style bland suburban daily that seems to shrink deeper into itself each morning. With a news section full of utterly random paragraph-sized chunks from yesterday’s and a bizarre op-ed section featuring press releases submitted by the offices of politicians and the confused yammerings of senile embarrassments like Richard Cohen, the paper appears to be nothing less than an elaborate satire of Washington’s dull insularity and tunnel vision. But, according to accountants, it’s actually a very real cash drain on the Kaplan for-profit education scam company that owns the WaPo. So we are also subjected to endless humiliating attempts to make the paper “relevant” or “for the YouTube,” and the most recent effort goes where the Washington Post has rarely ventured before: to the black part of town — the black part of town with boobs, in fact.

We watched a few minutes of this amateurish video on Tuesday, we think, and almost posted something then, but we had second thoughts because who cares, right? Well, apparently, the entire white male staff of the Washington Post cares, a lot, because having this lady with her boobs doing a webcast is somehow going to erode the WaPo brand more than, oh, three decades of boot-licking journalistic mediocrity.

For details, we turn to Fishbowl DC, the unintentionally bizarre blog/cry for help about Washington media:

WaPo‘s editorial staff is anguished and angry over a new feature called “Post Now Video Cast” that the publication is touting. In it, Anqoinette Crosby anchors a newscast.

“Almost everyone thinks it sucks. It’s an absolute embarrassment. My God, have you seen her twin turbos? The dancing bears are rolling in their graves,” an inside source told FishbowlDC. Sources say the premier episode is a source of “teeth gnashing” in the newsroom and referred to the newscaster as “the chick with the boobs.”

Each day, Crosby (a.k.a. “AQ”) will report on a variety of news multiple times a day. Yesterday was the ice (hailed widely as a “piece of crap”). Today it’s the Chinese prez visiting the White House and AQ breaking it down. Though not as dominant as Day 1, the “girls” are on display and AQ is sporting tall, leather black boots.

Who writes like this? Oh, right. Anyway, people in the WaPo newsroom are so upset about this black lady having boobs and doing a webcast! Please, let’s bring dignity (and shriveled white weiners) back to the WaPo video offerings! Let’s bring back … Mouthpiece Theater. [Fishbowl DC]

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  • Barbara_i

    Great story Ken. Thanks for the mammaries!

    • johnnymeatworth

      Breast reporting ever!

      • Lascauxcaveman

        He busted those WaPo wienies.

        • PsycWench

          and I'm sure's glad to have gotten that off his chest. A real cup of kindness.

          • Crank_Tango

            Jugs wait'll the Times hears about this–it surely cleaves the old gray lady eatin their dust. I don't wean to knock'er either, also boobies!

          • DoktorZoom

            Nay, nay, let's have no more tittering over this.

        • Sophist/Glock Palin

          She has large tits.

          …sorry, I'm not very good at this.

          • Gleem_McShineys

            'Sup Bra!
            That is udder nonsense! I am hear to teat'ch you NIPPLE TITTY MOTORBOAT BBBBBBB

            yeah, me neither.

        • RayLewisOfNerds

          What better way to keep abreast of the day's events.

      • PsycWench

        No doubt Ken finds your support uplifting. He has no doubt filled out as a reporter.

    • V572625694

      Turbos! That's a new one on me. The Youngs today have so much "sick" slang that I don't undersand. And by the way, your Capt Beefheart avatar is awesome.

    • LionelHutzEsq

      And, yet, somehow I was left feeling flat.

  • mereoblivion

    Angst-ridden asshats anguished and angry over Anqoinette? Astonishing. But she'll have the last laff: by 2017 "The Crosby Show" will be the #1 porncom on BET.

    • smokefilledroommate

      Her cans'll look great for a split second in her Crosby Sweater.

  • They've got boobs writing the editorials, too. Not nearly as pleasant to look at.

  • Radiotherapy

    Oh brother, she can be my sister.

  • OneDollarJuana

    From the pic it looks like she's a typical female weather presenter. Young, attractive, and very soon to be pregnant (by her young husband, whom she loves dearly). Too bad for you old reporters, she isn't even seeing you as she walks by your desk.

  • SayItWithWookies

    After what most TV stations' news departments do to the English language every time they post a transcript of a story online, it's only fair that newspapers return the favor.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    WTH? Bet they wouldn't mind her 'twin turbos' if Anqoinette was giving them a lap dance. Seriously, Tamron Hall from MSNBC should go over there & beat the shit out of them.

  • I'd rather fap to her than to Dana Milbank.

    Brown sugar… just like a hot weather babe should.

  • So Hooters is expanding into the news business. Seems like a logical progression.

  • freakishlywrong

    Lots of boobs n' bears today. I like the "new civility"!

    • gullywompr

      Me too also. No seriously – I really like it.

  • CalamityJames

    Hide the boobs, but by all means promote the violent rhetoric spouted by some insane Wasillabilly half-term governor. I'm moving to France.

    • sati_demise

      Its a sad, sad state of affairs here in the world of Hatespeech Media.

  • smokefilledroommate

    Cloudy with a chance of boobies.

    • jim89048

      It is feeling a bit nipply this morning…

      • Barbara_i

        Because of the large front that moved in.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          That large warm front explains why I'm sweating a little and finding it slightly difficult to breathe.

          • I'm at a slightly lower elevation, but the overcast is impressive and those twin fronts could easily bring about the perfect storm..

  • mavenmaven

    I for one welcome more newscaster of this sort. Would they be equally upset if it were a Megyn Kelly type, or is this more black person= SOCIALISM "We're taking our country back" type rallying cry every time someone non-blonde appears on the screen?

  • BornInATrailer

    I want to go to there.

  • Name_Tag

    i don't take a job unless there is somebody who can safely be referred to as 'the chick with boobs.'

    some might say that's a risk in this economy. maybe, but i've got to stick to my principles.

  • Anqoinette Crosby? Bing's Essie Mae Washington-Williams?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Well, and I'm only speaking for myself, I personally like boobs. Urban or not.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      The Urban Turbos would be a good name for a female soul group.

    • jqheywood

      Here, here!

    • GOPCrusher

      I'll go on the record and say that I'm a boob-friendly commenter.

  • SorosBot

    It sounds like some people are upset that the cute chesty lady doesn't go for bitter, grouch, shriveled ancient white men.

    • Not_So_Much

      I've been upset about this phenomenon for years. But I'm not retarded enough to make that opinion public.

  • crybabyboehner

    Nice rack, but is she a card-carrying member of the White House Correspondents Association?

    • Sure, like "Jeff Gannon of Talon News Service" had one.

  • WhatTheHeck

    In weather-related news: A new front has moved in, much to the relief of many.

    • Barrelhse

      Is that a ridge of high pressure in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

  • hagajim

    They could use her to do a story on the best breastesses in Texas…or something. But seriously "Anqoinette" what the hell kind of name is that? Some combination of Antionette and quinine? These urban folks come up with some muthafuckin' awesome names!

    • jim89048

      On that, Bill Cosby would like a word with her parents.

    • V572625694

      Kwame Kilpatrick is down with that.

    • smokefilledroommate

      The 'q' makes it Frencher, klassier. Just be glad she didn't name her Aquanetta or LaTrina.

    • BeWoot

      Oddly, my wife and I were wondering just this morning, why don't we ever meet anyone named Hezekiah?

  • Lascauxcaveman

    These jerks are coming out against boobs?

    Next they'll be slanging Mom's Apple Pie and baseball.

  • MinAgain

    White men who don't like boobs? Go on. Pull the other one.

    BTW did Wonkette spell Anqoinette's name incorrectly, or did her mother?

    • Barrelhse

      "Marie" would have easier.

  • bureaucrap

    Definitely more of a social benefit than a Kaplan prep course for your next urine test.

  • Serolf_Divad

    Poeple like to make fun of the Washington Post, but remember: these are the guys who managed to lure William Kristol away from the New York Times Op Ed. page.

    • zhubajie

      With a promise of a big-booby secretary?

  • sarjo

    "the “girls” are on display and AQ is sporting tall, leather black boots"

    Jesus, lady! You can't get taken seriously dressing like that! A serious intellectual like Sarah Palin would never try that crap!

    • sati_demise

      I remember when Volker was outraged that a female reporter wore PURPLE instead of business grey/blue/black during an interview. Wish I could find that clip…….

  • SorosBot

    It is surprising that the Post hired this lady, since I thought being black, female or under 60 were all disqualifications for working there, and she's hit the trifecta.

  • DoktorZoom

    I only watched one of those vids (OK, half of one) and I was far more annoyed by Ms. Crosby's wooden, over-enunciated delivery than her boob-having. It's a supremely vacuous little video news segment; if anyone at the Post is complaining, it should be about its essential pointlessness, not the anchor-lady's being a female lady who has the chestal accoutrements common to 50% of the population.

    • Not_So_Much

      I don't think you're supposed to have the sound, or your pants, on when you watch.

      • guangho

        Well I certainly didn't.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Oh, I don't know, Dr Z. I guess 50% the population wishes they had such accoutrements.

      Come to think of it, the other half of the population wishes they did, too.

  • baconzgood

    I don't understand? They got a weather bunny? I thought the weather bunny was manditory for any BROADcast (indeed pun intended). Is becuase she's a weather bunny or a black weather bunny. Don't tell me this woman isn't pissed working there knowing that sexual harassment lurks around every water cooler.

  • J Rbt. Oppenheiner

    Something something Capital Weather Gang Bang something

    • LesBontemps

      Close enough!

  • CrunchyKnee

    I'd hit it.

  • occams8ball

    Hailing icy crap? Sounds like journalizm to me.

  • SudsMcKenzie

    I've been "Astronaut Jonesing" all morning.

  • Radiotherapy

    WaPo, WaPo, WaPo, WaPo, WaPo, WaPo.

    • Gleem_McShineys

      The extra syllable slack-in-your-wack is probably due to high Richard Cohen exposure. It is pretty much to be expected.

  • Hera Sent Me

    Washington Post staff are humiliated by being associated with a lovely, busty woman? That's like Teabaggers being humiliated because somebody in their group has all his original teeth.

    • VinnyThePooh

      Love your name.
      -Huge BSG fan.

  • deanbooth

    I hope that the buried dancing and rolling dead bears aren't pandas.

  • NorthStarSpanx

    I'd hazard a guess, 36 DD? Lovely.

  • PeaceWithHonor

    First off, when did tits become a bad thing?

    On a more personal note: Say Hu Jintao again. Say it. Say it. More breathy. Yes.

  • V572625694

    The Washington Post is about war against Israel's enemies, and whatever detracts from that detracts from its value to the Neocon tribe.

    Oh, and also Dr Gridlock stories about traffic jams on the routes between editors' homes and the office. Lotsa that traffic stuff.

    Oh, and Gene Weingarten, who lost his funny when he gained his name. He should change it to Herblock — he's that worn out.

    And there's one more incredibly valuable piece of content in WaPo: everything Robin Givhan writes. Is she gone yet?

    • SorosBot

      Now the Post does have some good opinion writers, such as Eugene Robinson and um, um… no pretty much just him.

  • OneTrueLiberal

    Franklin was very puzzled as to why our fellow TrueLiberal Wonketteers would be so titillated by a post about a woman's breasts.

    But after I explained to Franklin that our male TrueLiberal colleagues had never had sexual relations, and were unlikely to have sexual relations, with a woman, he understood.



    • teebob2000

      Boy, there's the lezzy kettle calling the pot "homo"…

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Just say "Tits or GTFO, Eleanor."

    • bitchincamaro2

      Hey. Buttsecks counts, fuckface.

  • Guppy06

    Far be it for me to claim expert knowledge on the subject, but I'm confident in saying that most, if not all, "chicks" do have "boobs."

  • Wadisay

    If they don't like her delivery, why can't they just turn the volume down?

  • teebob2000

    Needz fewr buttons.

  • BlueStateLibel

    Yeah, like they all wear burkas on Faux News–half of those "news anchor" chicks dress like they're going on a hot date. A hot date with the fat slobs who watch them.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    They were hoping for a chick with d**k instead.

  • Tundra Grifter

    But it would have been ok if she'd just posed for a photo with the new governor of Alabama?

  • Weenus299

    Hoot! Ollie Williams she aint.

  • Weenus299

    O/T whatever the fuck happened to Rita Cosby?

    • smokefilledroommate

      She finally turned into a man.

  • politics_nerd

    ( . ) ( . )

  • LesBontemps

    The only thing wrong with these videos is they haven't gotten to the pr0n part yet. Does WaPo really think anyone watches on-line videos for news?

  • SaintRond

    Jesus, they aren't that big!!!

  • moralturpentine

    Countdown to (another) sexual harrassment lawsuit againt Richard Cohen in 3…2…1…

  • __kth__

    Guaran-fucking-tee you that if that pretty lady's name were merely Antoinette, they wouldn't be nearly as upset. But that 'q' for the first 't' screams, like unto a Drudge siren, "what an uppity black woman her mother must have been" to the crotchety white assholes that the WaPo newsroom is full of.

    • jim89048

      They'd probably spell this joint wonquette, right?

  • Buckminster

    Ed Murrow is rolling in his grave.

  • doxastic

    "Hey asshole, eyes up here," seems applicable to the Washington Post as a whole.

  • MozakiBlocks

    When they say "tits or GTFO", they ain't kidding.

  • Fuck Toad

    "Twin turbos"? I think their "inside source" is a 90-year-old homosexual.

  • Extemporanus

    I have four words for the very, very urban WaPo: Tamron. Fucking. Hall. Beeyotch.

    Check out Chuck checkin' her out — dude's looks like he's about to jizz all over his own goatee. Again.

  • guangho

    I have just discovered that WaPo is the best thing about modern day journalism.

  • EdFlintstone

    Has Richard Cohen harassed her yet?

  • "referred to the newscaster as “the chick with the boobs.”

    By David Broder, "the boob with the keyboard".

  • GOPCrusher

    There was sound with that video?

  • I've got a new coworker just like that: black chick with boobs. I ain't complainin'

  • Why would anyone be uncomfortable with this woman. She has beautiful breasts. Wow.

  • alaninthecastro

    Terrorist chest bumps.

  • glamourdammerung

    So the WaPo staff discovered "girl cooties".

    That seems about right given their demonstrated level of development.

  • WriteyWriterton

    This whole thread gets a W-11. Film at 8 (over Broder's age-encrusted eyes).

  • VinnyThePooh

    Um, excuse me.

  • transfatz

    Must. Concentrate. On. Weather. Map. Concentrate. On. Weather. Map.

  • fuflans

    anguished? ANGUISHED?

    what sensitive wapo boys are now the new emo?

    blow me.

  • zhubajie

    What's wrong with boobs? The kind on a woman's chest? The other kind, WaPo has too many of, anyway.

  • LetUsBray

    Capital knockers, Ma'am!

  • Negropolis

    OMG! A woman with breasts! Them's called WMD in the newsroom.

    White men threatened by busty black lady's sexuality? In other news, the sky is blue.

    • transfatz

      As a card carrying pasty-face I must say that, for me, this requires a re-definition of the word "threatened".

  • This is good news for Eugene Robinson.

  • transfatz

    Only 26463 Views. Positive proof that the intellectuals at Wonkette are not overly interested in boobs.

  • DCHatesMe

    26491 Views? Is Wonkette now being flooded by porn bots and 12 year olds?

  • __kth__

    Also, they don't need a newslady, they can just let Chrith Thilitha do the webcasts…

  • Come here a minute

    I don't understand the fuss — much like a journalist with a face for radio, she's got the perfect screen presence for print media.

  • Jukesgrrl

    But when their boss left his wife for that genius Sally Quinn back when they were all young stuff, that was OK because she's a blonde with a name they can spell.

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