JESUS DOESN'T CARE EITHER  10:27 am January 20, 2011

People Get Mad That Dumb Alabama Gov Says Weird Christian Things

by Jack Stuef

Too bad she's your sister, eh?Robert Bentley is the governor of Alabama and a Republican. Therefore, he got in trouble this week for implying that people who are not Christians are not his “brother and sister.” And then, suddenly, atheists and the Anti-Defamation League and followers of the First Slammin’ Church of Patrick Ewing and what have you got upset that they were not included in this. What? Why in the world would they want to be this man’s sibling? You know who comes up on the street and tells you they’re your brother or sister? Just Christians and insane homeless people who want to wash your eyelids with a dirty wet rag for money. Calm down, people.

You see, this was simply a misunderstanding. Bentley was at Martin Luther King’s old church so he could explain to black people he doesn’t hate them. That way, when he ignores them because he is a Republican governor of Alabama, he will know they don’t hate him, because both black people and this guy love the Jesus.

”I was elected as a Republican candidate. But once I became governor … I became the governor of all the people. I intend to live up to that. I am color blind,” Bentley said in a short speech given about an hour after he took the oath of office as governor. [...]

Bentley added, ”Now I will have to say that, if we don’t have the same daddy, we’re not brothers and sisters. So anybody here today who has not accepted Jesus Christ as their savior, I’m telling you, you’re not my brother and you’re not my sister, and I want to be your brother.”

See, just general weirdo governor talk/the exact thing every single Christian says on a daily basis.

He has since apologized to some Jews and said everybody is his brother and sister. Way to go, non-Christians who professionally take offense at stuff! We are now officially this weirdo’s sibling. He’d better not try to borrow money from us.

Meanwhile, take a look at this map of dentists in the state of Alabama that we had on our hard drive for some reason. Spoiler: they don’t have any. But sure, get mad about this instead. [WSFA/Birmingham News]

 
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{ 150 comments }

Clancy_Pants January 20, 2011 at 10:31 am

He ain't heavy…

Swampgas_Man January 20, 2011 at 11:59 am

Am I my brother's keeper? Can I keep him in a small box in the woods?

LionelHutzEsq January 20, 2011 at 1:45 pm

He's a pagan?

Negropolis January 20, 2011 at 11:03 pm

…and he ain't my brother, neither.

SorosBot January 20, 2011 at 10:32 am

As an atheist, this is reason #153,786 not to ever set foot in Alabama, or anywhere else in the South for that matter.

V572625694 January 20, 2011 at 11:13 am

I'm fortunate enough to go to Alabama quite often. It's not as bad as you'd think. Not great either, unless you're into bass fishing'n'shootin' stuff, in which case it's a little piece of heaven.

Negropolis January 20, 2011 at 11:04 pm

I think the state motto is "Alabama: We're Better than Mississippi"

Sorry, that's not nearly good enough.

HELisforHEL January 20, 2011 at 12:43 pm

I feel this way about South Carolina. Some pretty parts, but wow are some of the folks there sure are stupid.

x111e7thst January 20, 2011 at 10:34 am

He looks like he might be related to Jimmy Carter. She looks like she might be from the Philippines. It's just disturbing.

SorosBot January 20, 2011 at 10:56 am

She also looks young enough to be his granddaughter; I hope she's not his wife.

SorosBot January 20, 2011 at 10:58 am

She also looks young enough to be his granddaughter; I hope that's not his wife.

JustPixelz January 20, 2011 at 11:06 am

She's his wife and his sister and his daughter. It's a crazy Southern tradition.

OneDollarJuana January 20, 2011 at 11:10 am

"Forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown."

Pragmatist2 January 20, 2011 at 10:34 am

Dumb Alabama politicians are SUPPOSED to say weird Christian things. It's what they do.
Monkeys throw feces: Dumb Alabama politicians say weird Christian things.

Negropolis January 20, 2011 at 11:06 pm

I think it's in their Constitution that you have to be religiously intolerant.

So, let's see, the governor of Alabama has just invited blacks in (if they are Christian), but the "no Jews/Muslims/Gays/Etc." signs still stand at the border, right?

KathrynSane January 20, 2011 at 10:34 am

Hell no I'm not your sister. My imaginary space daddy could kick your imaginary space daddy's ass!

fuflans January 20, 2011 at 10:26 pm

where have you been?

Barbara_i January 20, 2011 at 10:34 am

I like the way he had his wife/niece in the picture to try to soften his image there.

zhubajie January 20, 2011 at 10:49 pm

Bastard child?

prommie January 20, 2011 at 10:35 am

Racist yankees, quit blood-libelling the poor oppressed southerners.

metamarcisf January 20, 2011 at 10:35 am

Hah. Next thing you know, he'll be trying to outlaw evolution

user-of-owls January 20, 2011 at 10:48 am

Why bother to outlaw something that doesn't actually exist in Alabama?

CZL January 20, 2011 at 11:09 am

Same reason Oklahoma outlawed "sharia law." Rednecks are fucking stupid reactionaries.

OneDollarJuana January 20, 2011 at 11:12 am

Just read a fascinating article about a house repo man in L.A. He said that the white rednecks whose houses he was repossessing were the absolute worst in leaving filthy messes.

Swampgas_Man January 20, 2011 at 11:53 am

If someone was taking my home away, I wouldn't exactly leave the place sparkling. I might refrain from leaving obscene comments written in fecal matter, but after that, all guarantees are off.

MagicCookie January 20, 2011 at 10:38 am

Looks like my creepy perv of a next door neighbor. Yech.

Beowoof January 20, 2011 at 11:21 am

He looks like he could have had Stanley Tucci's part in the Lovely Bones. Only with this guy it would be in real life.

horsedreamer_1 January 20, 2011 at 11:31 am

Has got a little Loudon Wainwright III going on, too.

widestanceroman January 20, 2011 at 1:30 pm

Reminds me of the custodian who handed out towels to passing freshly showered boys at my junior high's gym locker room. He took just a little too long letting go so he could get a better look. A face tortured and twisted by the evil within.

Terry January 20, 2011 at 10:38 am

"Meanwhile, take a look at this map of dentists in the state of Alabama we had on our hard drive for some reason. Spoiler: they don’t have any. But sure, get mad about this instead. "

The concentrations of dentists correspond to the State's urban centers, such as Mobile, Huntsville, and Birmingham. I bet you a nickle if you pulled up a similar map from, say, Wyoming, that it'd be even worse.

That said, the new governor is a fundy arse on his best day.

Serolf_Divad January 20, 2011 at 10:38 am

Let me echo every buddie cop movie ever made:

"Let me explain one thing to you: We ain't buddies, we ain't partners and we ain't friends. We work together, that's all. I drive the car, and you go in and buy the coffee. And when we get into some shit where I gotta shoot a bunch of bad guys, you back me up and hopefully don't shoot me in the back by mistake. You got that?"

CalamityJames January 20, 2011 at 11:25 am

"Also, we are of differing races, one of us is angry, possibly too old for this, the other is "funny" (?), and possibly mentally unstable. So let's go get this Eastern European guy, who apparently has immunity from being a schmuck, and get back my daughter/your wife."

Just a minor addendum, but fixed nonetheless.

Swampgas_Man January 20, 2011 at 11:55 am

DAMMIT MCSCROD, you and him are PARTNERS, got that? You work together, you eat together, you sleep . . . eh, better not, we've gotten complaints.

NorthStarSpanx January 20, 2011 at 12:40 pm

That must be the mantra Rep. Issa gave to his combat secret service ranger SEALS special ops comrades every morning while protecting the Presidents.

Serolf_Divad January 20, 2011 at 2:04 pm

Can you believe they pay people to do this?

HolyMaracas January 20, 2011 at 10:38 am

Why would anybody in the civilized world want this Jeebus douchebag as a brother?

user-of-owls January 20, 2011 at 10:49 am

You've kinda answered your own question there.

Gleem_McShineys January 20, 2011 at 4:14 pm

Must be for the sex. It is the South. KIN-WITH-BENEFITS

Texan_Bulldog January 20, 2011 at 10:39 am

This dude makes Larry Craig look masculine. I can't wait for the gay scandal with the black atheist! Good times!

Terry January 20, 2011 at 10:48 am

Heck, he makes Lindsay Graham look masculine.

harry_palmer January 20, 2011 at 10:56 am

He makes R2D2 look all warm and cuddly.

Gleem_McShineys January 20, 2011 at 4:15 pm

Actually, his head shape seems a lot more C3PO to me.

charlesdegoal January 20, 2011 at 10:41 am

Still, you don't have to be a Xtian to be a bro'.

mumbly_joe January 20, 2011 at 10:41 am

I imagine some people who are Christians might have been a bit irked, too, since there's a whole story that Jeebus tells that's supposed to illustrate who is and isn't a Christian's "neighbor". The Good something or another, I think.

Wait, no, not Christians. I mean, people who follow Jeebus's teachings. There should be a word for them, as a group; I imagine it'd be kinda useful shorthand to have.

amyamnesia January 20, 2011 at 10:48 am

Mythical creatures have no need for names!

Mumbletypeg January 20, 2011 at 10:57 am

So instead of 'nominal' Christians, perhaps
"anominalous" Christians?

Ducksworthy January 20, 2011 at 11:46 am

Might be easier to start calling these douchebags "professed christians" and the tiny minority who are trying to live out Jeebus teachings "actual christians". They are a small minority but they still exist, even in the south.

Swampgas_Man January 20, 2011 at 11:56 am

Christbuddies?

snoopyfan2010 January 20, 2011 at 1:44 pm

How about we call them "cuddly wuddly huggy bears"?

Gleem_McShineys January 20, 2011 at 4:21 pm

Um.. no.

Ok prepare yourself. First, look at the picture again. Now look at areas other than the boobies. Clearer now?

CapnFatback January 20, 2011 at 10:42 am

" . . . and I want to be your brother.”

I'd be more concerned with him wanting to be my daddy.

Grief_Lessons January 20, 2011 at 11:07 am

If you don't want him to be your daddy there's a line of bitches behind you who'd be happy to take your place for a few hours.

DashboardBuddha January 20, 2011 at 11:10 am

Who's your daddy? Haw haw haw!

CapnFatback January 20, 2011 at 11:13 am

No, Hu's our daddy! Wait, wrong comment thread . . .

Swampgas_Man January 20, 2011 at 11:56 am

And I want to be an only child.

MARCdMan January 20, 2011 at 10:42 am

They really can't help it can they? They have to stick their feet in their mouths as fast as they can as soon as they get elected. Morons.

FNMA January 20, 2011 at 10:43 am

This being Alabama, I'm sure what he meant to say was "brothers and sisters with benefits."

Barbara_i January 20, 2011 at 10:43 am

His Ben & Jerry's flavor is Chilly Hillbilly. It has no nuts.

hockeymom January 20, 2011 at 10:47 am

She's my sister.
She's my daughter.
She's my sister.
She's my daughter.

JustPixelz January 20, 2011 at 11:10 am

He's my brother.
He's my father.
He's my uncle.
He's my grandfather.

mereoblivion January 20, 2011 at 12:08 pm

Or as his gardener likes to say, "Salt wata velly bad for glass."

Makemyownchoice January 20, 2011 at 10:48 am

That is what irks me about some people with religion. Your somehow less than them if you don't subscribe to the same as them.

CalamityJames January 20, 2011 at 11:29 am

There was absolutely no snark here, but I don't think you deserve no p, so I'm upfisting you for the fuck of it.

CalamityJames January 20, 2011 at 2:28 pm

Now that you have big p, my comment just looks ridiculous.

harry_palmer January 20, 2011 at 10:48 am

"If Daddy didn't touch you in all those places he touched me, you ain't my brother or sister and we can't have sex."

Come here a minute January 20, 2011 at 10:49 am

"I am color blind," Bentley said in a short speech given about an hour after he took the oath of office as governor.

People tell him he's white — he wouldn't be able to know if that's true, but he believes them so he treats black people the way white Alabamians are expected to.

Beowoof January 20, 2011 at 11:24 am

And he is stealing Steven Colber quotes with, "I am color blind" why I believe he may even have a black friend.

Monsieur_Grumpe January 20, 2011 at 10:49 am

I could see using Alabama for testing nukes. They all get to go to heaven sooner and the USA IQ average goes up. It’s a win win for everybody.

Barbara_i January 20, 2011 at 11:05 am

And if anyone turns mutant from the nuclear fallout they would just blend in with those who didn't.

HELisforHEL January 20, 2011 at 12:56 pm

Why am I hearing banjos and picturing that white kid with the big head sitting on that porch?

Ducksworthy January 20, 2011 at 11:49 am

Alternatively we could just extend the Tuskegee experiment to the entire (white) population and see how long they last.

GregComlish January 20, 2011 at 10:51 am

Curious that he calls Jesus his "Daddy". Is calling the Lord and Savior of mankind by a child's term of endearment just an instance of gross overfamiliarity? Or have Southern Baptists taken their "submission" to Christ to a whole new level?

DashboardBuddha January 20, 2011 at 11:14 am

Who's your daddy? Haw haw haw!

CalamityJames January 20, 2011 at 11:32 am

My concern is that does this not constitute idolatry? Should Gawd not be the daddy, and Jeebus could just be the creepy uncle who likes to give you "cross rides" and take you to those funny movies with the naked ladies?

spinozasgod January 20, 2011 at 12:35 pm

and does that make Jesus all believers baby daddy?

DustBowlBlues January 20, 2011 at 10:52 am

Gov. Mary Fallin of my (not so great) state is slapping her forehead, wondering how the fuck she managed not to say this stoopid thing. All she did was offend the redskins with her pride in how the whites came in and turned the Injun's wasted homelands into fertile oil fields. She forgot to piss off Jews, atheists and nice Xians like me. Ugh, actually, she would have pissed me off, could I bring myself to watch Betty "Mattress Mary" Boop for more then the time it takes to hit the remote control.

I hate that no-neck bitch.

V572625694 January 20, 2011 at 11:17 am

Easy, Dusty. Too early in the day for that much blood pressure. You'll never make it to the evening news at this rate. And Oklahoma's got a lady goobernor! Progress! Like Benazir Bhutto! Or Indira Ghandi!

Okay, bad examples…but still!

CalamityJames January 20, 2011 at 11:34 am

Does it always have to be about you? Must you Palinize every national tragedy, such as this?

DustBowlBlues January 20, 2011 at 1:34 pm

You are SO wrong. Unlike Palin, I can own up to my own ego on this one. It just pisses me off when Alabama crackers steal the spotlight from the stoopid okies who run the clown act that poses as government down here.

Okay, here it is, Alabama. For utterly, fantastically ignorant, you win the stoopidest of day of the until, of course Rick Santorum opens his mouth.

What? He did? Well, shit. From 'Bama to Pennsylvania. You know, of course, when the northern states enter the dumbestfuck contest, it skews the ratings. Stay out of this, you northern atheists. You'll never compete for ignorance with the bible belt.

CalamityJames January 20, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Amen.

Ducksworthy January 20, 2011 at 11:54 am

But wait. She did promise to offend the constitution didn't she? I think you have some high Okie hilarity to look forward to.

Take what solice you can. You are now in the clutches of people my Sooner Gramma referred to as 'wooden haids".

DustBowlBlues January 20, 2011 at 1:34 pm

Hatriots.

horsedreamer_1 January 20, 2011 at 10:53 am

How did Patrick Ewing get his own religion? He never won a World Cup.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iglesia_Maradoniana

Weenus299 January 20, 2011 at 10:53 am

Yet, according to the Doobie BROTHERS, Jesus, he's my FRIEND. What the fuck? Jesus is more than "just" all right with me.

HELisforHEL January 20, 2011 at 1:01 pm

OMG my husband and I were just discussing this idiot the other night and quoted that stupid song too. LOL Jeebus is just alright–not great or good or awesome. Just alright.
Hmmm, I guess this clown has us thinking Xtian thoughts. Praise be!

fartknocker January 20, 2011 at 10:54 am

The nice thing about Alabama is that when you get to the center of state, any direction you travel means your leaving the Southern version of Dumbfuckistan.

I'm sure he's another fucking teatard who jacks off to Sarah Tundratwat. He hasn't spoken enough to confirm it, but I gotta believe it since his niece appears to have a McCain/Palin bumpersticker above her right breast.

JohnyEdge January 20, 2011 at 11:14 am

Not if you're going west towards Mississippi. They should combine the two of them into Alabassissippi.

Two less Teatard Senators in D.C.

Bonzos_Bed_Time January 20, 2011 at 1:04 pm

Why oh why couldn't Lincoln just let them go?

HolyMaracas January 20, 2011 at 10:54 am

I wonder if he considers Barry to be his brother or just "a brother."

SorosBot January 20, 2011 at 10:55 am

But are we not all brothers and sisters? No, actually, we're all cousins of some sort, mostly very distant, with our last common ancestor around 100,000 or so years ago

starfanglednut January 20, 2011 at 5:30 pm

Yes, and our common ancestors were BLACK.

BaldarTFlagass January 20, 2011 at 10:55 am

I'm pretty happy being an only child, myself.

HELisforHEL January 20, 2011 at 1:06 pm

Baldar, that latest avatar is…disturbing. LOL

BaldarTFlagass January 20, 2011 at 1:40 pm

Just wanted to fit in with the plethora of kitty-kat avatars found here.

HELisforHEL January 20, 2011 at 2:02 pm

HA HA HA! Oh, it certainly does!

RedneckMuslin January 20, 2011 at 10:55 am

I'll bet if you were of a different color and christian, you would not be his bro or sis either. Or Democrat Christian. Haha! Just kidding. There are no Democrat christians.

MinAgain January 20, 2011 at 10:57 am

Well, I just hope he isn't screwing a fellow Christian, 'cause, you know, that would be incest.

DustBowlBlues January 20, 2011 at 10:58 am

I judge Alabama to be on the same intellectual level as Okrahoma. Based on that, what's the saddest thing about this? It will make him MORE popular down there. Speaking from personal experience, Bubba, Leroy and Wanda Bob will hunt down their shoes so they can wear them to town and register to vote.

HELisforHEL January 20, 2011 at 1:13 pm

I occasionally play in a three piece band; depending on the venue we switch up the name (I have no idea why–it's the keyboard player's particular kink). What I'm saying is, may I please use "Bubba, Leroy and Wanda Bob" sometime? You'll get total attribution for the genius that it is. ;-D

DustBowlBlues January 20, 2011 at 1:40 pm

Of course. And just so you know, there was actually a Mary Bob from Altus Oklahoma. I don't remember her last name but yes, Bob was her middle name.
If the third is a man, Joe Bob or Jim Bob work, except just not as creatively as Wanda. Is it just me, or is that a redneck name?

HELisforHEL January 20, 2011 at 2:04 pm

Totally redneck. Sounds like some of my cousins on my Dad's side (or as my Philly-bred Mom calls them, "The Hillbillies"). Hee

Thank you, a thousand times thank you!

Mary Bob. Oy.

ttommyunger January 20, 2011 at 11:00 am

Do his siblings also have ginormous teeth like his? If not, Mr. Ed would like to have a word with you about getting his choppers back, Governor.

BornInATrailer January 20, 2011 at 11:06 am

Like a traditional New Englander, I often imagine those typical stereotypes of white southerners. However, I realize I do this and try to eliminate or minimize their impact on my thought processes or behaviors.

Alabama makes this very, very difficult.

Buzz Feedback January 20, 2011 at 11:06 am

titz or gtfo

harry_palmer January 20, 2011 at 11:11 am

Do you mean those nice ones belonging to his sister-daughter-wife there or his?

Beowoof January 20, 2011 at 11:28 am

Yes she is gifted woman, too bad the Gov is not interested in them. On the other hand a pair in a ball sac would have his undivided attention and admiration.

BaldarTFlagass January 20, 2011 at 11:09 am

"Luke, I am your father. And your brother. It's complicated."

Bonzos_Bed_Time January 20, 2011 at 1:06 pm

And don't give me any of that virgin birth of Anakin, either! Someone was hitting it up behind the moisture converters!

KathrynSane January 20, 2011 at 11:09 am

An old but relevant joke: Why do so many murder cases go unsolved in Alabama?

Because there aren't any dental records and everyone's DNA is the same.

freakishlywrong January 20, 2011 at 11:09 am

Is Intense Debate being a Kenyan Muslin usurping terr'ist to anyone else today?

lefty74 January 20, 2011 at 11:11 am

Whats the word that begins with N and ends with R that this guy will never call a black man? Neighbor.

The_Great_Gazoo January 20, 2011 at 11:13 am

I think what he means is that while he might want to be our brother, deep down inside he feels much more like a sister.

randomsausage January 20, 2011 at 11:14 am

That's the worst case of Gay-face since The Bieber first skipped into the "national conversation". Not that there's anything wrong with that, as The Seinfeld reminds us.

angryclownspawn January 20, 2011 at 11:14 am

I am an atheist who lives in Alabama, but in one of those areas that actually does have dentists. In my defense, my husband picked it.

Ducandy January 20, 2011 at 11:16 am

If that's his daughter I'd love come all over her hard tits.

SayItWithWookies January 20, 2011 at 11:16 am

We're not related through your deity Governor, but we are related through biology. And while I'm glad to see that not all your branch of the family tree went extinct on Flores 18,000 years ago, and that you've found a home where microcephaly isn't necessarily frowned upon, I still find it a mite unfortunate that you managed to get elected to a position of leadership. On the other hand, if crows can use tools, there's hope for you yet.

Hatrabbit January 20, 2011 at 11:18 am

Who's your Daddy, Governor?

notreelyhelping January 20, 2011 at 11:21 am

He came into the room where his sister lived…and then he….

JustPixelz January 20, 2011 at 11:22 am

What the hell was Lincoln thinking? Oh yeah, the slaves.

thefrontpage January 20, 2011 at 11:25 am

I'm a liberal, left-leaning, progressive, modern-thinking Democrat, and far-right, overly-religious, crazed, psycho, moronic, idiotic, wingnut teabagger nimrods like Bentley are not my "brothers" or "sisters," and I'm quite happy about that.

If Bentley is a far-right religious psycho who actually believes that people who don't agree with his religious views are not equals of his, then he should resign from office, effective immediately, and let a real politician be the governor of a state. Really.

Plowmon January 21, 2011 at 7:52 am

Sure, someone like Guy Hunt…

widestanceroman January 20, 2011 at 11:25 am

Look, you stubbed toe-faced freak, you are not my brother and if you insult my mother again by claiming this, she will come down from heaven and kick your warty ass to hell's front door. Are we clear?

hagajim January 20, 2011 at 11:38 am

It's obvious that this man is color blind….and tone deaf!

SudsMcKenzie January 20, 2011 at 11:39 am

yes, yes, thats contoversial,… Alabama you say,… brothers and sisters you say,… uhh ha, a Governor, Christians, oh my ….

Jeeepers NICE HOOTERS!!11

Mindblank January 20, 2011 at 11:50 am

That was my thought, too.

Ducksworthy January 20, 2011 at 12:13 pm

I am astounded that the Wonketteers have gotten this far into the thread before commenting on the only worthwhile aspect of this whole post. Her titties.

nounverb911 January 20, 2011 at 11:40 am

I'd be surprised if Bentley even knows who his daddy was.

Tundra Grifter January 20, 2011 at 11:45 am

I predict that during the week of Jan. 24 – 28 this Gov'Nor will be on the InSannity Show (radio or tv or both) for a "Full Hannity" Rehab.

InSannity will ask a bunch of leading, softball questions and otherwise guide him through the infomercial.

WhatTheHeck January 20, 2011 at 11:59 am

In them there neck of the woods it’s known as Separation of church and a state of insanity.

randomsausage January 20, 2011 at 12:14 pm

That chick is the dead-spit of movie hottie Juila Stiles. The South shall rise again, especially in my pants. Woof Woof.

spinozasgod January 20, 2011 at 12:32 pm

Has his mail-order bride been saved?

NorthStarSpanx January 20, 2011 at 12:41 pm

I'll hazard another guess her with this young lady, 36DD too? Just what is being reapportioned in 2011?

elviouslyqueer January 20, 2011 at 12:44 pm

Your move, Haley Barbour.

politics_nerd January 20, 2011 at 1:09 pm

dowhatnow? I dont get it. I think they put the wrong picture on this story or something. I want to know about the friendly looking girl holding the sock puppet with glasses. thats something you dont see every day, a sock puppet with glasses. those are glasses, right? that cant possibly be his face.

petehammer January 20, 2011 at 1:32 pm

Working in HR I can tell you that "I am colorblind" is the worst answer you give give to a diversity question, outside of "I hate blacks."

No, Alabama governor, you aren't colorblind. No one is colorblind.

MiniMencken January 20, 2011 at 1:57 pm

As a dermatologist, his patient base skews pretty much to the Caucasian end of the spectrum. Since he has been married to the same woman for 46 years, if that woman in the photo is his wife, he knows his bidness, you cheeky little monkeys.

Redhead January 20, 2011 at 3:12 pm

From that picture, I'm starting to think Jared Laughner is his brother…

starfanglednut January 20, 2011 at 5:27 pm

”Now I will have to say that, if we don’t have the same daddy, we’re not brothers and sisters."

Uhhhh, some remedial biology may be in order. After all, republicans are always willing to reexamine their convictions in light of copious scientific evidence …

Oh wait.

fuflans January 20, 2011 at 10:31 pm

i love that map.

Plowmon January 21, 2011 at 9:09 am

try to remember some of those counties are really rural with small populations, without so many teeth they don't need no dentists…

Negropolis January 20, 2011 at 11:03 pm

I love this. I'm not racist, I'm just a general bigot.

Progress, fuck yeah!

Negropolis January 20, 2011 at 11:18 pm

Now, watch Bentley's (how quintessentially Alabamian) approval rating shoot through the roof. Up here where I live, he'd at least made himself an instant one-termer.

Dude's so imbred he's almost lost his chin, and his forehead has turned into a six-head.

zhubajie January 20, 2011 at 11:29 pm

I presume he thinks Southern Baptists are Christians. What about Northern Baptists? Pentecostals? Mormons? Roman Catholics?

Plowmon January 21, 2011 at 7:49 am

Only Southern Baptists are Christians, the rest of ya'll gonna dance in the fires of Hell. Don't believe me? Ask one…

zhubajie January 22, 2011 at 8:48 pm

Oh, I remember when they openly preached White Supremacy as part oftheir Gospel.

DrunkIrishman January 21, 2011 at 3:37 am

This is the kind of shit that happens when you elect the dad from ALF.

SorosBot January 20, 2011 at 11:06 am

If she's his niece that would make her his daughter.

OneDollarJuana January 20, 2011 at 12:07 pm

But it was the rednecks that did exactly that.

Gleem_McShineys January 20, 2011 at 4:10 pm

He thought it was gross vandalism, but that's actually Redneck Shui.

Beowoof January 20, 2011 at 5:06 pm

I thought if that were the case he would of turned into a rich white woman ala Michael Jackson.

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