About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here with a few helpful links to ease your transition to Disqus - Claiming Old Accounts - Claiming Your ID Comments [Looking into whether this is still possible - Shy] - Turning off Disqus Notifications. And, as always, remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • DoktorZoom

    Pshh…"Anti-Trust Laws" are so passe, anyway.

    • horsedreamer_1

      Oh, it's been this way for awhile. Viacom-Paramount was allowed to purchase CBS from Westinghouse in, what, 2000, without having to spin-off the UPN. Not the anyone watched United Paramount Network — especially after Homeboys in Outer Space got the slip — but to have two over-the-air networks in the possession of one firm… Not proper.

    • bitchincamaro2

      "Pro Leviathan" is the new "anti-trust".

  • Fare la Volpe

    That's no finger.

  • magic_titty

    I'll still get to watch Bridalplasty, right???

    • Oblios_Cap

      My wife had that on one night. Holy Hell! That show is bizzare.

      • magic_titty

        Everything and everyone associated with the E! Channel (except for Joan Rivers) should be set on fire.

        • HELisforHEL

          Can we add the MTV empire of shit to that (do they own 'E!' ? It certainly fits their M.O.)?
          Talk about the dumbing down, the coarsening, the meanspiritedness-inspiring nature of most of their crap programming. A fucking waste of electrons.

        • mumbly_joe

          And in the case of Joan Rivers, mainly because when plastic is ignited, it releases noxious fumes that can be toxic for the person carrying out the immolation. Safety first, people!

  • SorosBot

    So it looks like Congresswoman Queen Latifah's attempts to block the Kabletown merger failed.

    • SudsMcKenzie

      are you "Reaganing" today?

  • Oblios_Cap

    Solidfy the Corporate Fist upon media content! Comcast Cares!

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    36 hours??? My bride and I are such failures at this. Could we put on tinfoil hats while reading or somethin' to make up for this loyal 'Murican deficiency?

    • Kidneys4Sale

      Depends on the font size and picture to text ratio of the books. If we catch you with anything more complex/dense thean 'My Pet Goat' then you and your bride'll be taking turns on the KSM Dutch Rudder train.

  • baconzgood

    Will they bring back Friends? Gosh I hope so.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Never heard of it — but as long as that horrible "Woss Wuvs Wachel" show stays dead, I'm okay with it.

    • GOPCrusher

      As the one person on the North American continent that has never seen an episode of Seinfeld, I greet this news with a "meh".

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        No soup for you!

  • Beowoof

    And of course I trust completely in the management of comcast to embrace the liberal msnbc shows. After all conservatives at Fox have demonstrated how fair and balanced conservatives can be in reporting.

    And we do need more mega media companies controlling the flow of information.

    Let's be honest TV and anyone who watches it is doomed to more the same shit we get now on TV. On the other hand I just got a kindle for Christmas and I am loving me some books.

    • Krugmanic Depressive

      Given that the alternative to Comcast was GE, I can't manage any outrage about this. On the plus side, Zucker got fired, so there's that.

  • Plowmon

    I'd much rather lay on the couch w/ my bros, laugh at farts and watch '30 Rock' than deal with reality.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

      Yeah, but eventually a penis will end up where it may not belong. Awkward!

  • Serolf_Divad

    Are you serious? I spend more time at work than I do watching TV? That's like…total bullshit, man! Fucking fascist capitalist system. No statistic better encapsulates the anal rape of the working man by Wall Street, big business and the powers that be.

    • http://fontofliberty.blogspot.com/ Rarian Rakista

      Middle America can watch a truly awesome amount of TV, my sister will play 8 hours of Anime straight while working from home, every day of the week. I think she watches the same DVDs over and over.

    • Come here a minute

      Are you counting Wonkette time as 'work'? Cause that may negate a wee bit of the working man rape. Still, fuck those fuckers.

  • Barbara_i

    Comcast blows! The day that Jessica Alba gave birth they had a headline on their home page "Jessica Alba, new MILF" I called and asked them to scoot that to a back page where 11 year-old girls wouldn't wonder what a "MILF" was and Google it, causing their computers to be taken over by the anal pop-up windows of doom. They told me that they don't control what is on the Comcast home page. I yanked their crap out and told them to go to hell. The Comcast door-to-door drones still ring my bell and ask me to switch. They soon regret that decision. Don't temp kids by putting crap like that out there. Let them find out on the streets, where they should.

    • horsedreamer_1

      Not to defend the company, but, at this point, I think MILF has joined such phrasing as SNAFU & NIMBY as word in itself. People have forgotten for what the various letters stood. Now, it's just a synonym for "physically-attractive mother".

      • OneDollarJuana

        MILF's? NIMBY! Otherwise they'd be SNAFU'd!

    • SorosBot

      I see you've changed your avatar, but kept it as a cute kitty, still forcing me to scroll over and enlarge it every time (like several others, such as slithytothes and V###s, do as well).

      • V572625694

        You gotta problem wit dat?

        • Barbara_i

          V, chill out. Let's have some catnip and a saucer of cream, lol.

      • Barbara_i

        Kitties are the best! I'd get a tattoo if they could figure out a way to have them licked on by a kitty and not use a needle.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

      I just cut to the chase and made the anal pop ups my home page. I'm fighting the devil from within…

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      Get a Mac. Block popup windows in your browser. Set it so that it opens new pages to a blank window instead of an address. Enable safe search in your kid's Google. Or go Amish. Do it quick, before your kid enters her prime SB years!!

  • freakishlywrong

    Well, at least we libtards will still have the internetz!! Oh, wait…Fuck.

  • JustPixelz

    36 hours! Never!!! I refuse to limit myself. They'll take away my remote when they can pry it from my pudgy, cheese dip encrusted hands.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Monsieur_Grumpe

    Bigger is always better. I learned this true fact from porn.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    I won't know what to think about this until Snowbilly tweets or posts a msg on Facebook. After all, it's been a whopping 10 hours or so since she's opened her blood libel piehole.

    • OvertonWindolt

      All rl Mercans call FCC and tell them to stp Obeyman, Madhow.

  • metamarcisf

    I don't have time to watch 36 hours of television every day.

    • LesBontemps

      Work smarter; think inside the box!

    • V572625694

      Not with having to comment 12 hours a day on the Wonkett.

    • http://www.wonkette.com/ FlownOver

      Isn't that why God invented Tivo and meth?

  • LesBontemps

    Certainly it means finally acknowledging the death of what was once known as "broadcast media" and the public responsibility (haha!) that once accompanied use of the airwaves, as well as the further concentration of monopoly power in the communications industry. But for me, it just means that all the shitty NBC programming will now just be shitty Comcast Cable proprietary content.

  • http://www.wonkette.com/ FlownOver

    Coming this fall on NBCUC: the ChatRoulette Hour, with your host Dylan Ratigan.

  • bflrtsplk

    I've always been anti-trust. I never trusted anyone.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    NBC? What the fuck is that?

    I'm just left to watching MadMen/Robotchicken/Walking Dead, DVDs and downloads to remind me that sometimes TV didn't really suck ass.

  • SorosBot

    Well at least they're banned from using their vertical monopoly power to stifle competitors for seven years; considering that they own the channel that broadcasts the majority of the Phillies, Sixers and Flyers games here and won't allow dish networks or FIOS (in the few areas it's actually available) to carry it, I'm sure they won't start abusing that power as soon as that time is up.

    • HELisforHEL

      Why, you make it sound like they aren't doing this for the children!

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      You're a Philadelphia sports fan? Gotta admit, you had it coming.

  • freakishlywrong

    By the way, is that Waggaman's pied a' terre ? For some reason, that's how I picture him and his little friends chillin'. That's his finger right? Oh, at ME?

  • V572625694

    Couldn't they at least have extracted a la carte cable pricing from these assholes in exchange for granting them a totally integrated vertical monopoly powerful enough to roll right over any municipal utility commission like a worn-out speed bump? It really pisses me off to have to buy ESPN in order to watch my pretend girlfriend Tamron Hall. All public policy should conform exactly to my needs.

  • mavenmaven

    Well at least we can count on Herman Cain preventing a merger of Godfather's with Domino's pizza, so that there will be at least some choice available in our lives.

  • baconzgood

    http://benbagdikian.net/

    (in Cletus Slack Jawed Yokel voice)

    I's red the copie of dis word stuff a while ago when it bin typed up in the grunge times and it made me wanted more teevee in the hands of lesser and lesser companies. I's tink they done calls it "cinergize"

  • Katydid

    Comcast does suck, but at least my Internet always runs on time.

  • WhatTheHeck

    Makes me feel nostalgic for rabbit-ears and a 19" b/w glass tube in a cabinet.
    Take your cable and…

  • wegot2dobetter

    I need Herman Caine to go two or three deep and explain this to me…

    • edywin2

      The man has three balls. This comment is now disturbing.

  • J Rbt. Oppenheiner

    I swear, my daily postcard / flyer / missive from Comcast is the only thing keeping the post office alive.

  • user-of-owls

    Like elected ruminant Chuck Grassley, I am alarmed by this huge 'MRG.'

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    Wait till I attach my wireless spycam to the inside of my briefs and start webcasting my junk 24/7. You will definitely start neglecting your DVR list at that point. I think I'll call it my "cumcast."

    • WriteyWriterton

      You caused a near spit-take, you mischievous f*^@wad.

  • Tommmcatt

    If one of those boys was trying to buttsecks one of the others that picture could have come straight from my teen years.

  • hagajim

    It means everything is going to be Comcastic – right?

  • Golfing_OJ

    Thank God we're finally down to one giant Goebbels and can fix this shithole once and for all. I for one can't wait for some real meat from from this newly freed engine of journalism, like "Do Assassin's Bullets Actually Hurt?" from famous nonblinking Vagasil-slatherer Cokie Roberts.

  • Ducksworthy

    I move we proceed directly to the next phase where NBC/ComCast/ADM/P&GE actually conducts and scores Amurrikan elections for the good of the corporatocracy. Of course, they'd have to find a replacement for the ad revenues that elections generate, just bundle that into the cable bill.

    • Ducksworthy

      And while were at it, lets have the IRS collect on the cable bill for N
      BC/ComCast/ADM/P&GE/USA

  • Sophist/Glock Palin

    Not including Netflix, HBO, YouTube, Hula-Hula, Bahoo, Doray,

    …SexTube, YouSex, PornTube, YouPorn, PornPorn, TubeTube, VideosOfPeopleFucking, aaand Methodists.

  • MistaEko

    This makes me feel better about my next several years of using uTorrent and preying on incompetent neighbors that leave their wifi as LINKSYS.

    • V572625694

      You know what their password is? I'm guessing "admin."

      • SorosBot

        "Password"

        • WriteyWriterton

          House address, including apartment #.

  • politics_nerd
  • politics_nerd
  • SudsMcKenzie

    I get it, the series of Tubes now haz my teevee in it.

  • GOPCrusher

    Does this mean the Boob Tube will now live up to it's reputation and provide me a channel dedicated to 24/7/365, nothing but Boobs?

  • ttommyunger

    Had Comcast for years, it was, to say the least, not a satisfying relationship. Dropped them for DirecTV; great improvement. Never watched NBC for ANY reason, EVER. So I'm asking myself, other than getting closer to the time when all people everywhere are working for the same seven men-why the fuck do I care?

  • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

    Long as no one messes with Modern Family, I'm cool.

  • Negropolis

    Hell, I watch 36 hours of TV in one 24-hour day.

    BTW, I stopped watching NBC when they performed a reverse-Leno on Conan, and have never looked back. The channel was on its way down to begin with, Comcast is just coming in to clean up the scraps. I do miss Brian Williams, but that's about it. Oh, and Heroes. Also.