TEEVEE BUSINESS NEWS  11:21 am January 19, 2011

NBC-Comcast Merger Approved: What It Means For You

by Ken Layne

(Not including Netflix, HBO, YouTube, Hula-Hula, Bahoo, Doray, etc.)Not including Netflix, HBO, YouTube, Hula-Hula, Bahoo, Doray, etc. [Washington Post]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 83 comments }

DoktorZoom January 19, 2011 at 11:25 am

Pshh…"Anti-Trust Laws" are so passe, anyway.

horsedreamer_1 January 19, 2011 at 11:42 am

Oh, it's been this way for awhile. Viacom-Paramount was allowed to purchase CBS from Westinghouse in, what, 2000, without having to spin-off the UPN. Not the anyone watched United Paramount Network — especially after Homeboys in Outer Space got the slip — but to have two over-the-air networks in the possession of one firm… Not proper.

bitchincamaro2 January 19, 2011 at 12:20 pm

"Pro Leviathan" is the new "anti-trust".

Fare la Volpe January 19, 2011 at 11:25 am

That's no finger.

Rarian Rakista January 19, 2011 at 12:53 pm

That's ferret food! Num, Num, Num.
http://dailycaller.com/2011/01/18/pet-ferret-eats

horsedreamer_1 January 19, 2011 at 1:24 pm

Plus-one Clint Howard cameo.

magic_titty January 19, 2011 at 11:26 am

I'll still get to watch Bridalplasty, right???

Oblios_Cap January 19, 2011 at 11:33 am

My wife had that on one night. Holy Hell! That show is bizzare.

magic_titty January 19, 2011 at 11:41 am

Everything and everyone associated with the E! Channel (except for Joan Rivers) should be set on fire.

HELisforHEL January 19, 2011 at 11:55 am

Can we add the MTV empire of shit to that (do they own 'E!' ? It certainly fits their M.O.)?
Talk about the dumbing down, the coarsening, the meanspiritedness-inspiring nature of most of their crap programming. A fucking waste of electrons.

mumbly_joe January 19, 2011 at 11:59 am

And in the case of Joan Rivers, mainly because when plastic is ignited, it releases noxious fumes that can be toxic for the person carrying out the immolation. Safety first, people!

SorosBot January 19, 2011 at 11:26 am

So it looks like Congresswoman Queen Latifah's attempts to block the Kabletown merger failed.

SudsMcKenzie January 19, 2011 at 1:22 pm

are you "Reaganing" today?

Oblios_Cap January 19, 2011 at 11:26 am

Solidfy the Corporate Fist upon media content! Comcast Cares!

weejee January 19, 2011 at 11:27 am

36 hours??? My bride and I are such failures at this. Could we put on tinfoil hats while reading or somethin' to make up for this loyal 'Murican deficiency?

Kidneys4Sale January 19, 2011 at 12:18 pm

Depends on the font size and picture to text ratio of the books. If we catch you with anything more complex/dense thean 'My Pet Goat' then you and your bride'll be taking turns on the KSM Dutch Rudder train.

baconzgood January 19, 2011 at 11:28 am

Will they bring back Friends? Gosh I hope so.

SayItWithWookies January 19, 2011 at 11:31 am

Never heard of it — but as long as that horrible "Woss Wuvs Wachel" show stays dead, I'm okay with it.

GOPCrusher January 19, 2011 at 3:24 pm

As the one person on the North American continent that has never seen an episode of Seinfeld, I greet this news with a "meh".

starfanglednut January 19, 2011 at 5:18 pm

No soup for you!

Beowoof January 19, 2011 at 11:29 am

And of course I trust completely in the management of comcast to embrace the liberal msnbc shows. After all conservatives at Fox have demonstrated how fair and balanced conservatives can be in reporting.

And we do need more mega media companies controlling the flow of information.

Let's be honest TV and anyone who watches it is doomed to more the same shit we get now on TV. On the other hand I just got a kindle for Christmas and I am loving me some books.

Krugmanic Depressive January 19, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Given that the alternative to Comcast was GE, I can't manage any outrage about this. On the plus side, Zucker got fired, so there's that.

Plowmon January 19, 2011 at 11:31 am

I'd much rather lay on the couch w/ my bros, laugh at farts and watch '30 Rock' than deal with reality.

mrblifil January 19, 2011 at 12:33 pm

Yeah, but eventually a penis will end up where it may not belong. Awkward!

Serolf_Divad January 19, 2011 at 11:31 am

Are you serious? I spend more time at work than I do watching TV? That's like…total bullshit, man! Fucking fascist capitalist system. No statistic better encapsulates the anal rape of the working man by Wall Street, big business and the powers that be.

Rarian Rakista January 19, 2011 at 1:01 pm

Middle America can watch a truly awesome amount of TV, my sister will play 8 hours of Anime straight while working from home, every day of the week. I think she watches the same DVDs over and over.

Come here a minute January 19, 2011 at 3:34 pm

Are you counting Wonkette time as 'work'? Cause that may negate a wee bit of the working man rape. Still, fuck those fuckers.

Barbara_i January 19, 2011 at 11:33 am

Comcast blows! The day that Jessica Alba gave birth they had a headline on their home page "Jessica Alba, new MILF" I called and asked them to scoot that to a back page where 11 year-old girls wouldn't wonder what a "MILF" was and Google it, causing their computers to be taken over by the anal pop-up windows of doom. They told me that they don't control what is on the Comcast home page. I yanked their crap out and told them to go to hell. The Comcast door-to-door drones still ring my bell and ask me to switch. They soon regret that decision. Don't temp kids by putting crap like that out there. Let them find out on the streets, where they should.

horsedreamer_1 January 19, 2011 at 11:45 am

Not to defend the company, but, at this point, I think MILF has joined such phrasing as SNAFU & NIMBY as word in itself. People have forgotten for what the various letters stood. Now, it's just a synonym for "physically-attractive mother".

OneDollarJuana January 19, 2011 at 11:53 am

MILF's? NIMBY! Otherwise they'd be SNAFU'd!

SorosBot January 19, 2011 at 11:46 am

I see you've changed your avatar, but kept it as a cute kitty, still forcing me to scroll over and enlarge it every time (like several others, such as slithytothes and V###s, do as well).

V572625694 January 19, 2011 at 11:53 am

You gotta problem wit dat?

Barbara_i January 19, 2011 at 11:58 am

V, chill out. Let's have some catnip and a saucer of cream, lol.

Barbara_i January 19, 2011 at 12:01 pm

Kitties are the best! I'd get a tattoo if they could figure out a way to have them licked on by a kitty and not use a needle.

mrblifil January 19, 2011 at 12:35 pm

I just cut to the chase and made the anal pop ups my home page. I'm fighting the devil from within…

Chet Kincaid January 19, 2011 at 2:31 pm

Get a Mac. Block popup windows in your browser. Set it so that it opens new pages to a blank window instead of an address. Enable safe search in your kid's Google. Or go Amish. Do it quick, before your kid enters her prime SB years!!

freakishlywrong January 19, 2011 at 11:34 am

Well, at least we libtards will still have the internetz!! Oh, wait…Fuck.

JustPixelz January 19, 2011 at 11:34 am

36 hours! Never!!! I refuse to limit myself. They'll take away my remote when they can pry it from my pudgy, cheese dip encrusted hands.

Monsieur_Grumpe January 19, 2011 at 11:35 am

Bigger is always better. I learned this true fact from porn.

Texan_Bulldog January 19, 2011 at 11:36 am

I won't know what to think about this until Snowbilly tweets or posts a msg on Facebook. After all, it's been a whopping 10 hours or so since she's opened her blood libel piehole.

OvertonWindolt January 19, 2011 at 11:41 am

All rl Mercans call FCC and tell them to stp Obeyman, Madhow.

metamarcisf January 19, 2011 at 11:41 am

I don't have time to watch 36 hours of television every day.

LesBontemps January 19, 2011 at 11:45 am

Work smarter; think inside the box!

V572625694 January 19, 2011 at 11:54 am

Not with having to comment 12 hours a day on the Wonkett.

FlownOver January 19, 2011 at 12:39 pm

Isn't that why God invented Tivo and meth?

LesBontemps January 19, 2011 at 11:42 am

Certainly it means finally acknowledging the death of what was once known as "broadcast media" and the public responsibility (haha!) that once accompanied use of the airwaves, as well as the further concentration of monopoly power in the communications industry. But for me, it just means that all the shitty NBC programming will now just be shitty Comcast Cable proprietary content.

FlownOver January 19, 2011 at 11:46 am

Coming this fall on NBCUC: the ChatRoulette Hour, with your host Dylan Ratigan.

bflrtsplk January 19, 2011 at 11:47 am

I've always been anti-trust. I never trusted anyone.

ManchuCandidate January 19, 2011 at 11:50 am

NBC? What the fuck is that?

I'm just left to watching MadMen/Robotchicken/Walking Dead, DVDs and downloads to remind me that sometimes TV didn't really suck ass.

SorosBot January 19, 2011 at 11:51 am

Well at least they're banned from using their vertical monopoly power to stifle competitors for seven years; considering that they own the channel that broadcasts the majority of the Phillies, Sixers and Flyers games here and won't allow dish networks or FIOS (in the few areas it's actually available) to carry it, I'm sure they won't start abusing that power as soon as that time is up.

HELisforHEL January 19, 2011 at 12:00 pm

Why, you make it sound like they aren't doing this for the children!

Chet Kincaid January 19, 2011 at 2:36 pm

You're a Philadelphia sports fan? Gotta admit, you had it coming.

freakishlywrong January 19, 2011 at 11:52 am

By the way, is that Waggaman's pied a' terre ? For some reason, that's how I picture him and his little friends chillin'. That's his finger right? Oh, at ME?

V572625694 January 19, 2011 at 11:55 am

Couldn't they at least have extracted a la carte cable pricing from these assholes in exchange for granting them a totally integrated vertical monopoly powerful enough to roll right over any municipal utility commission like a worn-out speed bump? It really pisses me off to have to buy ESPN in order to watch my pretend girlfriend Tamron Hall. All public policy should conform exactly to my needs.

jim89048 January 19, 2011 at 12:08 pm

I know, right? It also pains me to have to pay for Disney and faux noise in order to get Comedy Central.

Can't wait for them to pick up this story on option, though.

V572625694 January 19, 2011 at 12:11 pm

I see a movie of the week!

mavenmaven January 19, 2011 at 11:55 am

Well at least we can count on Herman Cain preventing a merger of Godfather's with Domino's pizza, so that there will be at least some choice available in our lives.

baconzgood January 19, 2011 at 11:57 am

http://benbagdikian.net/

(in Cletus Slack Jawed Yokel voice)

I's red the copie of dis word stuff a while ago when it bin typed up in the grunge times and it made me wanted more teevee in the hands of lesser and lesser companies. I's tink they done calls it "cinergize"

Katydid January 19, 2011 at 11:57 am

Comcast does suck, but at least my Internet always runs on time.

WhatTheHeck January 19, 2011 at 11:58 am

Makes me feel nostalgic for rabbit-ears and a 19" b/w glass tube in a cabinet.
Take your cable and…

wegot2dobetter January 19, 2011 at 12:02 pm

I need Herman Caine to go two or three deep and explain this to me…

edywin2 January 19, 2011 at 12:21 pm

The man has three balls. This comment is now disturbing.

J Rbt. Oppenheiner January 19, 2011 at 12:03 pm

I swear, my daily postcard / flyer / missive from Comcast is the only thing keeping the post office alive.

user-of-owls January 19, 2011 at 12:07 pm

Like elected ruminant Chuck Grassley, I am alarmed by this huge 'MRG.'

mrblifil January 19, 2011 at 12:30 pm

Wait till I attach my wireless spycam to the inside of my briefs and start webcasting my junk 24/7. You will definitely start neglecting your DVR list at that point. I think I'll call it my "cumcast."

WriteyWriterton January 19, 2011 at 8:50 pm

You caused a near spit-take, you mischievous f*^@wad.

Tommmcatt January 19, 2011 at 12:37 pm

If one of those boys was trying to buttsecks one of the others that picture could have come straight from my teen years.

hagajim January 19, 2011 at 12:42 pm

It means everything is going to be Comcastic – right?

Golfing_OJ January 19, 2011 at 12:42 pm

Thank God we're finally down to one giant Goebbels and can fix this shithole once and for all. I for one can't wait for some real meat from from this newly freed engine of journalism, like "Do Assassin's Bullets Actually Hurt?" from famous nonblinking Vagasil-slatherer Cokie Roberts.

Ducksworthy January 19, 2011 at 1:08 pm

I move we proceed directly to the next phase where NBC/ComCast/ADM/P&GE actually conducts and scores Amurrikan elections for the good of the corporatocracy. Of course, they'd have to find a replacement for the ad revenues that elections generate, just bundle that into the cable bill.

Ducksworthy January 19, 2011 at 1:12 pm

And while were at it, lets have the IRS collect on the cable bill for N
BC/ComCast/ADM/P&GE/USA

Sophist/Glock Palin January 19, 2011 at 1:08 pm

Not including Netflix, HBO, YouTube, Hula-Hula, Bahoo, Doray,

…SexTube, YouSex, PornTube, YouPorn, PornPorn, TubeTube, VideosOfPeopleFucking, aaand Methodists.

MistaEko January 19, 2011 at 1:13 pm

This makes me feel better about my next several years of using uTorrent and preying on incompetent neighbors that leave their wifi as LINKSYS.

V572625694 January 19, 2011 at 1:19 pm

You know what their password is? I'm guessing "admin."

SorosBot January 19, 2011 at 2:37 pm

"Password"

WriteyWriterton January 19, 2011 at 8:51 pm

House address, including apartment #.

politics_nerd January 19, 2011 at 1:22 pm
politics_nerd January 19, 2011 at 1:23 pm

but use http://www.peerblock.com first

SudsMcKenzie January 19, 2011 at 1:39 pm

I get it, the series of Tubes now haz my teevee in it.

GOPCrusher January 19, 2011 at 3:33 pm

Does this mean the Boob Tube will now live up to it's reputation and provide me a channel dedicated to 24/7/365, nothing but Boobs?

ttommyunger January 19, 2011 at 5:20 pm

Had Comcast for years, it was, to say the least, not a satisfying relationship. Dropped them for DirecTV; great improvement. Never watched NBC for ANY reason, EVER. So I'm asking myself, other than getting closer to the time when all people everywhere are working for the same seven men-why the fuck do I care?

starfanglednut January 19, 2011 at 5:24 pm

Long as no one messes with Modern Family, I'm cool.

Negropolis January 20, 2011 at 1:06 am

Hell, I watch 36 hours of TV in one 24-hour day.

BTW, I stopped watching NBC when they performed a reverse-Leno on Conan, and have never looked back. The channel was on its way down to begin with, Comcast is just coming in to clean up the scraps. I do miss Brian Williams, but that's about it. Oh, and Heroes. Also.

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