Oh yeah goddamn there’s an anonymous novel coming out, about Barack Obama’s fictional (?) 2012 campaign and how worn out and false the whole thing is, etc., and here’s the LAST SENTENCE (last two paragraphs?) because you GOTTA KNOW:
He had rejected the script for the recording that would air that night and rewritten it himself. He wanted Americans to know he recognized he had made them a promise he couldn’t keep. He couldn’t change politics, because it required self-denial; it required a change in himself, in other politicians, in Washington, and in voters that none of the parties were selfless enough to make.
…
Americans would make their history, and his too, in the bargain. He and the country were theirs to do with as they wished, at the service of those restless, discontented dreamers.
FUCK …. YEAH. [David Weigel]
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This sounds like when you decide not to go on the mission on page 3 of a Choose Your Own Adventure.
And everybody dies at the end, right?
So someone finished their novel Ken?
As long as it begins with "It was a dark and stormy night…".
So it turns out the black guy did it. What a twist!
Seems well suited for an M. Night project, no?
It's just going to turn out to be boring Joe Klein again, isn't it?
Primary Colored?
But, this time, it's speculative fiction, about the future. Meaning: Joe Klein put on black-face & did his best Negrodamus.
Or maybe that's just Lenny Kravitz?
THE BARACK OBAMA PRESIDENCY
CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE!!!
"And so this is it?," the newly elected president intoned, with just the slightest hint of incredulity.
"Yeah, we've done our homework." replied Cheif of Staff Rahm Emmanuel, "We've scoured the archives, we've conducted exhaustive Google and Lexis Nexis searches, we've contacted top scholars in the field. What you're holding in your hands is the last existing copy."
"Very well then," Obama replied. Then he crumpled up the yellowed piece of paper and threw it into the fireplace, smiling to himself as he watched it burn.
If you think the document was…
A) The Constitution: Then turn to page 126
B) Obama's Kenyan Birth Certificate: Then turn to page 88
C) A Photograph of Barack Obama on his secret pilgrimage to Mecca: Then turn to page 203.
And that's why you have the big Pee.
I'll just wait for the movie and not see that.
It's not easy deciding between not reading the book and not seeing the movie.
I find not listening to the audiobook to be a good compromise.
Kneedz moar breef enrapturins.
Let's review: "intimately," "pigeonholed," "scorned," and "background." OMG, this is so Lindsey Graham.
Whoever it is, they definitely don't want to be ignored.
It was Malia, in the Red Room, with the Ipad.
It was Bo, in the kitchen, with an electric typewriter.
That's just great Ken – now you won't even give Greer a chance to read and review the book before you spoil it for all of us.
It's like Primary Colors, but with Kenyan usurpers!
It even has a part where the main character gets a black girl pregnant! The parallels are endless.
Go Team Biden? Wait, which one is the werewolf again?
I crap better sentences than those.
I crap sentences better than those?
Better sentences better than those, I crap?
I better crap those sentences?
I think you may be right.
"She peered from behind the curtain. His massive frame looked as if it had be sculpted by the very hands of God. Which, in her world, it had and she could only equate her feeling upon seeing this sight as one of a religious experience.
He fitted the towel tighter and began to shave knowing full well she was the hidden voyeur.
Suddenly, yes in that sudden way that sudden things happen the curtain fell and she began to tumble. He caught her with his overly large arms. They rolled together in the sumptuous fabric with abandon, his shaving cream mussing her perfect makeup.
More in our next installment of…..Thangs that go bump in the Knight"
OK I'm hooked. Just remember that I LOVE a happy ending. Got me?
I was thinking of putting them in two identical clawfoot cast iron tubs watching the sunset. Though, I can't be sure why that scene popped up in my mind. And, it's been there for FOUR hours!!!!!
I think it is a Corona commercial.
I think it's a Viagre commercial.
Quick! Call a doctor!
If it continues for more than four hours you're supposed to see your doctor.
You all have been taken in by an obvious false leak.
In fact, the novel ends with Obama descending the White House steps, in a hail of gun firer, blasting away with his machine gun and screaming "Say Hello to my little friend!"
Be truthful, about half of you want to buy it for the sex scenes between Barack and Michelle.
Nah, I'm hoping to find out if Bo craps on the rug in the oval office.
I'm thinking of a scene with Michelle and me. And I don't want Joe Klein to write it for me.
Get in line pal. I've been writing "Mrs Michelle Pixelz" in my notebook all semester.
Somebody finally pulled off that whole "…if a million monkeys all pecked away at a typewriter…" thing, eh?
I imagine a frog singing that last line…
♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection
The lovers, the dreamers, and me
♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫
So, you are saying that everyone in the Obama administration are gay frogs?
Have you been watching Glenn Beck?
The style proves that anything done by a committee sucks huge donkey dick.
LHE: Win!
What?!? No spoiler warning?? Grrrr. This is just like that time somebody told me Anna Karenina throws herself under a train at the end.
Under a train??!!! Damn you, I'll just use the book for terlit paper now!
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…
From the article, "…he disappointed voters who could never really have been satisfied."
I can be satisfied.
Primary Coloreds?
If it weren't for the bad writing, I would have guessed Sara Benincasa.
After Barack begins to muse about how he's disappointed the American people, Zombie Jesus descends in glory with a mother ship in tow to destroy the world. Crack pilot John McCain must crash his plane into the mothership to prevent world domination by zombie alien angels, and Barack must repel zombie Jesus back into the heavens.
"Barack must repel zombie Jesus back into the heavens."
Cue Michelle…
Maybe "Anonymous" knew it was so bad she (or he) just didn't want to admit writing it.
Everyone is going to be very sad when it turns out that "O" is about David Obey.
Thanks for the thumbs up – I'm glad somebody recognized the phrase.
So it is. I am an idiot. I didn't even get it until I read the 4 hours thing again.
"Reading goes faster if you don't sweat comprehension."
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