Our friend Randall Terry calls himself a Tea Party activist, and likes to go around protesting abortion with superb comic acting and the throwing of dead fetuses at tourist children, but he also apparently is going to face Obama in the 2012 Democratic primaries. This should be good.
Let’s take a random sample of times this man has made it into our blog:
This past July, he hanged and beat Lindsey Graham in effigy. We made a Blingee.
For Halloween 2009, he made a video about how you are going to burn in hell in a deluxe fire condo with your roommates Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid.
“Wonkette Went To Virginia For A Town Hall, And Randall Terry Went Nuts, The End”
His son outed himself as gay, haha.
And here is an ancient audio lithograph of him saying his favorite swear, “son of a pup.”
But apparently this man is a Democrat now, for the fuck of it. We guess this unfunny music video about the Republican Party is supposed to explain his exit from the party. There is a giant sword in the background propped up next to a gumball machine. That’s pretty much all you need to know.
While pro-life Democrats have prevailed at the state level, they have failed badly in their pursuit of their party’s presidential nomination in recent years.
Haha, this reporter is an idiot. Stop pretending this man is serious. How about pets? How often have gerbils won a presidential nomination? Some intern needs to do some research on this. [Sunshine State News via Ben Smith]
{ 186 comments }
This this the cow-fucking guy? I'm all for the cow-fucking guy running for something.
Palin/Cow-Fucking Guy '12
Palin-Cow-Fucking Guy '12
thumbed you up both times.
Palin-Cow-Fucking/Guy '12
I love the English language and the ease at which it bends.
I predict his will be a short lived, abortive campaign.
Yeah, because if he makes it past the second trimester of the campaign we pretty much have to keep him.
Oh, we can always put him up for adoption. I'm sure a nice lesbian couple would love to have him.
We have to hope there's an exception in there for the health of the nation.
Oh boy, more crazy nutjobbery!
Damn baby-beater has a horrible sense of timing. They'll never make it on America's Got Talent.
Orly Taitz, the ball is in your court.
Terry/Taitz Two Thousand Twelve!!!
zomg "T"
Randy Oraly 2012
This is great news for John McCain
May this meme never die.
I wont take him seriously until he throws a rock into a river.
Thumbs-upping everyone not a troll today, but I don't understand this one. Thumbs up anyway because, well, I feel like it.
Mike Gravel's best performance art http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rZdAB4V_j8
Oh, how soon we forget:
http://wonkette.com/268999/mike-gravel-will-kill-...
It would be nice if it was attached to Terry's leg.
Happy to see Ronnie Milsap finally ditched the mullet.
He will abort his sham candidacy, and no one will call him on that shit.
In the 1920's Randall Terry would've been a fixture at the Algonquin Round Table
Only as a bus boy.
Napkin ring.
As a waiter?
Imagine what Dorothy Parker would have done with this numbnuts. The mind reels at the possibilities. It would be like an execution by papercut.
Yes, if by "Algonquin Round Table" you mean "Special Education Summer Camp".
Randall Terry? No, get William Perry. Last I heard, the Refrigerator is working as a bricklayer in Aiken County, beatin' his wife. That'd make a good candidate.
Oh good, a Presidential campaign from a man who, instead of just using general violent rhetoric like your Palins and your Becks, actually has directly incited specific terrorist assassinations, at least two that I can think of off the top of my head.
Impressive! Generally, including the phrases "terrorist assassinations" and "off the top of my head" in a single sentence paints an entirely different picture.
Because my comment was aborted by evil Interwebz Gobblins, I shall repost.
Impressive! Generally, including the phrases "terrorist assassinations" and "off the top of my head" in a single sentence paints an entirely different picture.
Why fuck around with wanna-be's?
Terry will need to be seen hugging some trees and have his picture taken with Ben and Jerry if he’s serious about running as a Dumbocrat. Although he does seem to have the loser part down so he’s got that going for him.
Yeah, Ben & Jerry will have to name an ice cream flavor after him. How about "Impeach-Mint"
"Vanilla Embryo-gurt" (I'm sure he doesn't care for chocolate).
"Not-Even-In-The-Case-Of-Incest-Or-Grape"
Okay, I'm just going to give myself a time out for that shit.
Only if by "time out" you mean "special parts hug," cuz you just won a tickle fight with the Internet's funny bone.
"Rocky-Road-to-Salvation"
"DHS Secretary Janet Neopalitano"
Barbara, you are awesome.
Popped Her Cherry Garcia?
Gotta go; my mom's calling me.
Oh God, it's so warm here today that I have the windows open and every neighbor within a 1 block radius just heard me laughing at BitchinCamaro.
There goes the neighborhood.
Pffftttt, the neighborhood has been sullied ever since I stopped looking for the sash to my robe. I still run to the end of the driveway to get the newspapers without it.
The 2012 election is getting more excellent by the day. Whoot-De-Doo!
I'm all for retroactive abortions: Randall Terry's.
Terry says that he doesn't believe he has any chance of winning, so he's not delusional. it seems his only goal is to gross out as many Americans as possible by showing as many aborted fetuses (feti?) on TV and in print as he possibly can.
Better start stocking up, Randall. Them fetuses (feti?) ain't going spontaneously generate and abort themselves just to be on your macarbe version of "American Idol"!
Feta.
Only the Greek ones.
May be Barb can help?
That's a jarring thought.
Meetae, Fetae, Vomitae
We once passed his in upstate NY somewhere, and I wanted to vomit. I wasn't even pregnant.
Which one of those assholes is Terry, the insane old white guy stabbing the doll or the tone-deaf jerk in the black robe trying to sing?
Lydon Larouche better watch out. Terry could steal his lone delegate at the 2012 DNC,
I don't know – what are Terry's views on Queen Elizabeth and the royal family?
In breeding produces handsome children.
Well, good to know that the Google/YouTube algorithms are working properly. Nothing like having your choice of gynecological services scroll under your Randall Terry anti-choice vids. Irony and Profit!
Well, this goes to prove that teabaggers are non-partisan, right? Because this douchenozzle is saying that he's a Democrat, and therefore the fact that his views lie on the extreme, partisan right is completely irrelevant!
Also, since Democrat== liberal, always and forever, this means that Scott Roeder, who was spurred on by "Democrat" Randall Terry, was actually a lefty, and thus all violence is left-wing, as teatards are loving to claim right now. Flawless logic!
Don't forget Paul Hill! While I'm against the death penalty in general, I can't say that I was to sad to see that terrorist creep executed.
The sword and bubblegum machine are proof of the violent tendencies of the Left Wing Hate Machine.
Super. Now Beck, Palin et al will be able to point to RT's crazy-ass "wanted" lists and death pools and say "See? SEE? The Demoncrat blood libelurs are tainting the rhetoric! They're violencing the dialogue!" Naturally, the MSM will accept and repeat this unquestioningly. I'm calling shenanigans on the whole deal.
He'd answer every charge with "cherish life in all forms." He'd answer every countercharge with "high-powered rifle."
I want to see his running mate, fetus jar-jar bush best Snowkunt in the VP debates.
I know none of that makes sense, and I don't care.
Why are we rushing to declare Obama the primary winner? Shouldn't we wait for the super delegates to weigh in?
Randall Terry is no Pat Paulsen.
Not intentionally, anyway.
Sorosbot, I have twice attempted to reply to your wonderful comment pertaining to Monsieur Terry's terroristic activities, and have twice had my comments eated. I am angry. So, I will attempt to restate my reply in a completely separate post, as if this were the FoxNews forums.
"Impressive! Generally, including the phrases "terrorist assassinations" and "off the top of my head" in a single sentence paints an entirely different picture."
Of course, all sense of context has been lost, and what could have been a genius statement will be void of any real quality. Fuck you, fuck Ken Layne, fuck me. Is anyone getting fucked yet?
C.J., the same thing is happening to me only to have them appear after I repost it and look goofier. There seems to be a hiccup somewhere.
Intense Debate needs to hold its goddamn breath.
You people must be doing it wrong. Mine took.
I got a handjob in the shower today. Wasn't even my hand. That's pretty good, right?
I always wanted a glory hole in my shower.
You have to be careful, though. If water gets in there, it may cause mold to grow and you don't want a moldy glory hole, for health reasons, of course.
Oh, and a big "Congrats!" to 4TT on the mystery hand, but I think it's up to you to tell us if it was pretty good, not the other way round.
That happened to my friend who is completely against masturbation. He would never wack-off, yet once when he was cleaning it, it went off.
I don't understand the concept of someone being anti-masturbation and pro-five-minute-wiener-cleansings.
God doesn't hate you if things accidentally happen. Just ask Bristol Palin.
Dancing with the Stars was not an accident and yes, God does hate her for it.
It's not cleaning! It's polishing.
It's funny until someone loses an eye.
Christine O'Donnell is,uh, are appalled.
You have to be careful around the darned things and always assume they're loaded, safety first!
"It went off."
I can't stop laughing.
I, for one, welcome our handjob providers.
"Is anyone getting fucked yet?"
Only the Sugar Daddies/Babies.
Today, we are all fucked.
The only way I'd even remotely listen to what Terry has to say about abortion is when he decides to trade in his dick for a working uterus.
On behalf of all the female wonkeratti, thank you.
On behalf of all the female wonkeratti, thank you. If that's double-posted, please pardon me, but I think intense debate is anti-choice and ate my first response.
Damn, it was double posted. Honestly, I only came up after I did the repeat. ID is playing mind games with me.
Sorry, could you repeat that?
That's okay; I thumbed it upwards both times.
On behalf of the straight, unemployed male wonkeratti, what are your views on "gifts" and "other bitches in line?"
Meet me in the shower, and we'll discuss.
Hey, you meat me in the shower! I'm the whore here.
What if we don't have a "working uterus?" I'm pretty sure mine is laid off. I don't recall the pinkslip though.
Thank you Randall Terry, for giving me the chance to reflect on how totally epic the Wonkette town hall field trip was.
Looks like a certain political party was getting jealous of the full bakers dozen of delusional candidates who have no business running for office that its rival was planning on wearing to the prom.
Can you imagine how embarrassing it would it be if they all wore the same thing?
You mean like the last election, when they both showed up wearing corporate funded PACs? Awkward.
Who's going to tell him that even Ralph Nader does not get invited to the televised "debates". By debates I mean the television show where in our fascist media owners present two nearly identical politicians and pretend we get to choose our "leader" based on a mature thoughtful discussion of the ginormous problems said leader must attempt to deal with. Like what foreign country were you born in? Hawaii or the canal zone?
And may I be the first to extend a giant, heartfelt, "FUCK YOU AND THE TELEPROMPTER YOU RODE IN ON" to all of the future "debate" moderators?
Too soon?
You just made Gwen Ifill cry.
Can someone ask her why she let the One Who cannot be named on Wonkette anymore prattle on and on "directly to the Merikun Peepl"? Worst mod ever.
He's reaching out to his base (Rightwight Fringe Republicans) to vote for him. Now exactly how will that happen? Ya know…seeing as he's running as a Dem.
He's worth it just for the awesome pageantry of his musical protests.
Let's just elect our first unborn fetus as President. That will prove they have the same rights as the rest of us and then we can all have our abortions in peace.
Where in the world are you going to get a birth certificate for this fetus??
I can see the scroll now: Randall Terry (D-Fetus)
Obviously, a Republiklan plant looking to discredit the Democratic Movement.
You need to be clearer in your use of pronouns. "Same thing happened to me" at the beginning of your response to this particular comment made me think that every man on this board has sex with a bar of soap every morning.
Well that would be sharing a little too much.
That would be a bit over-sharing.
I wonder if perhaps that would be sharing too much?
SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO US, INTENSE DEBATE!!!1!!
Today, we are all assclowns. Someone squeeze my big, red nose.
Today, we are all forced to double post.
No wonder the damn hot water keeps running out!
Doesn't everyone?
I wish all the nice middle class, middle aged married women with children like {looks around the room for an example} oh, like I, who are very grateful that they lived in a progressively minded city where this {searching heart} not too difficult decision could be made in the 4th week and who, appropriately, consider this a very private decision, would all band together and make one big utube video expressing our sentiments.
There are times when the lives of those already born are more important than a wad of mucous that has the potential of taking mom down into a hole from which she isn't likely to climb out. And when Mom goes? Well, the whole family goes down with her.
Easy, cheap, first month abortions are God's gift to women.
That's easy for you to say. What about those poor 70-year-old white men, who have to suffer for your "personal" decision? Just like a selfish librul!
I replied, it was funny, fist me.
I'll do one better. I'll follow you. Most responses I think I've ever had. Must be outrageously good for the quantity of my pee.
It's not the quantity, it's the quality of your pee-ness. But you knew that, DBB.
I'll pile on and add: it think it was not Gloria Steinem who said "If men could get pregnant abortion would be a sacrament, not a sin," but rather she was quoting a wise (incicentally male) cabdriver she rode with one day.
I'd read from your script. Except I decided against no kids at all.
Nice post.
Worth adding that the goal of Reproductive Health education should be the understanding that:
Contraceptives, in addition to other health & life-saving benefits with regard to Hiv & stds, widely distributed with good instruction, lead to fewer necessary abortions.
This is the way to carry this point, and this nightmare national bickering fest.
Yes, "easy cheap first month abortions" are a necessity, and last time I looked, actually a legal right, upheld by the law of the land.
But an overarching Contraceptives Program (in this country for a start) could take the lead in the struggle away from the less acceptable alternative of abortion.
It really shouldn't have to be said, but it doesn't seem like anyone's actually saying it.
Abortion isn't a good option, it is a last resort and a necessary option, and a private matter between a woman and her doctor.
Comprehensive reproductive + contraception education = fewer abortions every year.
Winning by winning.
I don't care if it makes sense. It wasn't funny. At all. Sorry.
Ms. Blues you are now favorite Wonketterer and you will stay that way forever unless something shiny comes along.
Except she's a baked good tease. Muffins, cookies, other yummy goodness – she always tells us when she's baking them. But does she share??
(No, really DBB – I think you're great. And you since you live in Oklahoma you have my sympathies.)
(She still owes me some Xmas fudge for a link I sent her.)
The mucous will hit the fan when Mississippi votes that the wad to which you refer is a "person" next election. Not too long after that a wrongful death case will be filed when a minor rear-ender results in a miscarriage.
Rumor has it he's begging Ben Nelson to be his running mate.
Screw balance.
Somewhere in Red America, Randall Terry fans are learning that he's "become" a Demoncrap, triggering their very first existential crisis.
No, not really. He was always too soft on abortion. A RINO, really.
It's interesting that the GOP would give him a red dress of all things to wear in the imaginary conversation he has with them at the end of his "song".
Guy needs a 72 hour evaluation. Potential Tillerkiller type who runs with known tru terrorists. Insane is right. Very Right.
Ps. 139:20-22 Xian. (Hoorah for Prince Reebus.)
I think lefty74 means more like a 5150 – legal way to involuntarily commit someone with suicidal or homicidal ideation to do a psych evaluation – although your works, too
What does it say about the modern Republican Party that Terry's hate filled, violence prone demagoguery is getting drowned out by all the other, hate filled, violence prone demagoguery? He must be so frustrated, mumbling to himself "I've been saying this shit for twenty years, and now Sarah Palin apes me and she is the one everyone loves? Fuck it, I'm going to the Democrats.
And he will never get over the fact that Sarah photographs better in running togs.
Is it too late to call for the release of Randall Terry's partial-birth certificate?
The very short form.
It's sealed away in his fetus jar.
It's never too late to do the Right thing.
The entry of Randall Terry into the 2012 Democratic Primary field shows how terribly Obama has destroyed the goodwill moderate Americans invested in him in his 2008 election. It is therefore I, Evan Bayh, enter the race, as a means to restore the unity within the Democrat Party.
Just watch Ol' Soft-wood pull this shit.
Is this guy one of those baby-in-a-dumpster people that got no health care while being reared by a dumpster? How upsetting For Congressman Freak Boy King to see one of the dumpster twins running for office to get that sweet, sweet Government Insurance.
Lovely mashup of rightwing nitwittery. Nincompoopery. (Nincompoops. Reminds me. Wish "my" the wonket would discuss True Grit. Has anyone read the book? I'm going to, as soon as I can buy it.)
What kind of world would it be if Randall Terry's mother had had an abortion?
Better?
I thought she had half of one . . .
Finally, a Democrat who's morally weaker than Obama!
At last, someone for Hamsher and Kos to rally around.
A gerbil would be a better candidate, so true.
As part of his campaign, the dear Dr. Looney Terry will feature a "Name the Bush Fetus Jar Baby" contest at every stop, because Fetus Jar seems so, um, you know, hackneyed.
If he ran as an independent he could get Glenn Beck as a running mate.
Is Barbara Bush's maid Paula involved in the campaign?
Chief Cook and Jar-Washer? Fetus Filer? Family Relations Director?
Let me guess: this shit-stain ass-wipe has nuts and a cock, which he thinks means he can tell all ladies what to do with their bits, since their bits are different than his. And since the only bits his bits ever get to visit belong to five-year-old boys or his hand, pregnancy isn't something he really worries about much (not even whether his son will accidentally get a girl pregnant, apparently).
So therefore this bored shitstain asswipe cock-sucking donkey-fucking botched abortion with an IQ half that of Trig Palin thinks he actually has something meaningful to say, and not only that, but wommenfolkz should HAVE to listen to his pathetic limp-dick idea (because what other use would he have for them?).
I nominate Randall as donor for Cheney's next heart transplant. Or hunting trip, either one.
Would you, by any chance, be a female member of the wonkeratti? If not, I hail your ability to communicate our feminist bile about bullshit like this.
Ah, I am female (and highly irritated by self-righteous hypocrites, obviously). But I'm still gonna assume that was a compliment, and thank you
What was happening to you? The spontaneous ejaculations or the third party masturbation?
Where's Eleanor today?
Franklin?
Shhh; naming the trolls might summon them.
Who cares?
Like Bible Spice, in the words of a crestfallen Todd said after Joe Miller, a creature made by that idiot, said he wasn't sure she was qualified to be president: Sarah worked "all morning" on a facebook update supporting his candidacy and now had to delete it. These things, like fb updates, take time to get right. Eleanor can't compose those brilliantly witty ripostes to wonksnark in a matter of minutes. S/he/it is working on one, as we speak.
Or maybe the plot is working and ignoring trolls makes them go away.
In a jar, by the door.
Stop getting trolled.
The video is more surreal than anything Luis Bunell ever thought of
More surreal than Jean- Luc Godard's "Weekend."
I'm not theologian but if there really is a god, why would he let this particular baby live?
obv terry just wants to make it onto the wonkette blog again.
Odd. A "giant sword in the background propped up next to a gumball machine" was also the insignia of the Terran Empire in the Star Trek episode "Mirror Mirror" (TOS, Season 2, First aired: 6 October 1967).
Does this Randall Terry have a goatee?
Next time Fox needs a spokesman for the Democrats, Terry will be their first choice.
Oh man, this is tough.
Should I vote for the Hate America candidate who id a wild eyed, big government radical servant of the mullahs or should I vote for Obama?
to be fair, i have a couple swords in my house. only my swords don't come from 'medieval collectibles'.
My fondest memory of Randall Terry was the DC police dragging him away at the March for Women's Lives in DC in April 1992. He was screaming some shit at Jesse Jackson when the cops grabbed him, smacked the shit out of him because he was resisting and hauled him off. Jesse waited until the police were gone before he turned off the preacher and just smiled this little sly smile. Very cool, that Jesse. Very urban, too, I gather.
"He's comin' through a hole in the wall
Randall Terry's looks really small
He gave up on the republicans? He didn't somehow figure out that "abortion" is just a cue like a trainer uses with a dog to get it to jump, did he?
He needs his own party, like the "Fetalcrats" or "The Abortion Rate is Too Damn High Party" or maybe just "Republicans."
Thanks! Party on Wayne!
Henngh?
Love this! It's like your mind was on fire with ice cream knowledge. I shied away from "The Grape Depression" because it was um, depressing. You rock!
Oh Negropolis, if Barry runs again in 2012 (fingers crossed) we should have the flavor "Yes Pecan!"
If only there a similar famous liberal tie to cereal, I'd go all in on Count Blastula.
Her son did attend the 08 DNC…
But the vagina works, no? That's the important part.
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