Sarah Palin, Martin Luther King Pretty Much the Same Person

What's that moving rhetoric and stunning cadence we hear? It couldn't be Martin Luther King, Jr., because he's -- oh! It's Sarah Palin! Sometimes we confuse the two, seeing as they are basically the same person.

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Honors

Martin Luther King, Jr.: Nobel Peace Prize, national holiday, national monument.

Sarah Palin: Own reality show.

Boycotts

Martin Luther King, Jr.: Boycotted the racist indignities Montgomery forced on its black citizens.

Sarah Palin: Boycotted Bristol and Levi's wedding.

Violence

Martin Luther King, Jr.: "Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars."

Sarah Palin: Never shoot anyone unless you're in a war or need to defeat socialism. Shoot absolutely everything else.

Public Speaking

Sarah Palin: Makes living getting paid to do it.

Martin Luther King, Jr.: Lived to do it. Ultimately, paid for it.

Assassination

Martin Luther King, Jr.: Assassinated once.

Sarah Palin: Feels assassinated once every news cycle.

Happy America Becoming Less Racist Day, y'all.