Today is “Martin Luther King, Jr. Day,” which is a day to remember the life of a special black person — or “socialist Kenyan,” as they prefer to be called these days — who once copied Glenn Beck by giving a speech at the Lincoln Memorial. But more importantly, today is Michelle Obama’s birthday! Our FLOTUS turns 47 today, and she is probably eating a whole-wheat cake filled with spinach right now, because thanks to all of Michelle’s hard work, soon that will be the only kind of cake available in America.
Michelle’s birthday began with an early celebration yesterday, when FLOTUS and family went to worship at the Metropolitan African(!) Methodist Episcopal Church.
On Sunday, the Metropolitan congregation clearly tried to make the Obamas feel at home.
At one point, the hundreds of worshipers joined together to sing “Happy birthday” to the first lady, who turns 47 on Monday.
“I gave the first lady a CD of church hymns for her birthday because in this church we try to make people feel welcomed,” said [Rev. Marie] Braxton, whose husband, the Rev. Ronald Braxton, is the church pastor. “The gift came from my heart.”
Michelle will spend today listening to her “God’s Greatest Hits Remixed” CD and volunteering for a local community service project, and according to an e-mail she sent out last week, she thinks everyone else should do the same. But for those who prefer to spend the day off on the couch, or in bed, like New England Patriots, there are some useless facts about Michelle Obama that you can learn, in honor of her 47th year, made possible by Philadelphia’s “Inspiration Station.”
6. As a girl, she loved her “Easy-Bake Oven”.Dr. Gundry reveals the top 3 common foods that you would have never guessed were the cause of your fatigue.
23. When she got to Princeton she said the tutors weren’t teaching French correctly.
It is so unfortunate that those Michelle Antoinette rumors have to resurface on our FLOTUS’ birthday. But we love her, no matter how many vacations she takes or American food groups she sends into exile. Happy birthday, Michelle! [WP/Praise Philly]
Blair Burke (firstname.lastname@example.org) obsessively follows Michelle Obama’s every move for “The FLOTUS Files,” which appears every Monday here at your Wonkette.