CHEER FOR BASKETBALL TEAM...... NOW  10:26 am January 17, 2011

Wingnuts Have Proof Obama Wanted Applause At Weird Times In Tucson

by Jack Stuef

Poor arrow and circle. It's okay, nobody thinks you're the ones who are idiots, you guys.
It has taken some time, but Gateway Pundit figured it out! We now know why those rowdy, unassociated college kids whooped and cheered every time they heard the words “University of Arizona” (“mourning”), at the memorial in Tucson last week: The president’s Jumbotron told them to applaud! It certainly couldn’t be that these wingnuts don’t understand the concept of closed captioning, right? Oh.

Yes, closed captioning. A revolutionary new technology.

If Obama had really wanted to get the crowd to cheer, obviously he would have spoken about our shared love of beer pong. And if he wanted to get political, he would have compared Democrats and Republicans to beer-pong partners fighting over how to re-rack the cups instead of trying to sink them. “And you know what happens when you bicker? China nails a bounce. And then it’s two cups.”

If the wingnuts didn’t have those annoying college kids to focus on, they may have had to admit that Obama’s speech was actually really good. Haha, nevermind. They would have just complained about that shaman guy. “America is COWBOYS, not INJINS.”

Sure, the White House probably should have held the event in a smaller location, without a bunch of unassociated college students who pregamed “THE PRESIDENT IS HERE!” and cheered at weird times. But on the other hand, it’s hard to fight ignorance. [Congratulations on all the traffic you're getting, Gateway Pundit]

 
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{ 160 comments }

Barbara_i January 17, 2011 at 10:30 am

No, that was only closed caption for the hearing impaired. Deaf people should be given the chance to hate Muslim, Kenyan Presidents too.

OneDollarJuana January 17, 2011 at 10:35 am

Deaf people is why farts smell. So they can enjoy them, too.

(an old chestnut, but still funny to me)

Barbara_i January 17, 2011 at 10:39 am

Sweetie, maybe if you didn't eat old chestnuts you wouldn't be floating air biscuits, just sayin'.
Your joke made me chuckle, thanks!

mumbly_joe January 17, 2011 at 10:41 am

Very, very urban, also.

lefty74 January 17, 2011 at 11:12 am

Remember when Bush waved to Stevie Wonder?

starfanglednut January 17, 2011 at 1:08 pm

No way. For realz?

AutomaticPilot January 17, 2011 at 4:08 pm

OT, but last July, I participated in a popular 15K road race in upstate NY. Our legally blind governer, David Paterson, was there, up in a reviewing stand thingy. And as the runners went by, the emcee kept saying, "Wave to the governor! Wave to the governor!"

SorosBot January 17, 2011 at 11:25 am

For the hearing impaired? And here I thought closed captioning was invented for the sake of bar TVs.

Lascauxcaveman January 17, 2011 at 11:39 am

…because everyone is hearing impaired in a bar.

GunTotingProgressive January 17, 2011 at 10:30 am

A facebook friend posted this yesterday. when I replied "uh, closed captioning much?" we went off on a "this just shows that the Democrats used the memorial for a pep rally," and asked if libel was still illegal. It's really getting hard for these guys to stay on message…

Barbara_i January 17, 2011 at 10:56 am

My sister thinks there is another government conspiracy. She got Christmas cards that require extra postage. Most people buy the "forever" stamp that doesn't require putting one cent stamps on to make up the difference. She went to the Mobile post office and purchased 60-whatever cent stamps and didn't look at them until she got home and saw a BLACK MAN on the stamps (Richard Wright) She chose not to mail her Christmas cards this year because of the black man stamp. She also told me that the post office made a profit every year until Obama was elected. Yep, he's ruined the Postal Service too.

I'm going to but her a Valentine's Day card and mail it and put a Muslim stamp on it just to ruin her day.

SorosBot January 17, 2011 at 11:03 am

She's got the wrong wingnut talking points; the post office was ruined by the internet, which they love to joke about Al Gore claiming he invented, even though he never said that.

Also, sorry to hear you have to deal with a sister like that.

Katydid January 17, 2011 at 11:16 am

Sorry to be serious for a moment, but she really say she wouldn't use the stamp because there's a Black man on it? Or was she more indirect than that? Maybe I'm just naive, and maybe it doesn't matter if that's really why she won't use the stamps. Maybe I just don't want to believe people are like that.

Anyway, I'm very friendly with one of the women who works at my local post office, and she told me that the reason the USPS is in financial trouble is because Congress keeps taking their profits and reappropriating them. Don't know how true that is, but I have no reason to doubt her.

Barbara_i January 17, 2011 at 11:28 am

No, she said the n-word. I swear to God, my sister didn't send Christmas cards because there is a black man on the stamps. She lives in Mobile, Alabama and every other word out of her mouth is racist and then her sentence ends with "….but "I'm not a racist" Oh Nancy, you are the worst racist in the world, besides your husband, who likes to collect Civil War memorabilia. I'm going to the store today and I am getting her a Valentine and her husband's birthday is Feb 14th and I'm getting me some Muslim stamps, you have my word on it.

fuflans January 17, 2011 at 11:37 am

well kudos to you for not being like your sister.

Katydid January 17, 2011 at 11:39 am

Good for you. How did you both come from the same family? My brother and I are very different people, but he's not racist. I don't get how that happens.

TxSpinyLizrd January 17, 2011 at 1:18 pm

I think you should start buying ALL your greeting cards for your sister here: http://www.zazzle.com/african+american+cards
I'm sure you'll find some that will make her day.

DustBowlBlues January 17, 2011 at 8:58 pm

Stories like these make me grateful my only sibling is my gay stepbrother. A friend of mine drove to a family reunion in the DC area with her sister from Houston. Because sis feared the DC communist storm troopers would confiscate her gun, normally kept in her glove box, she left it at home but kept a brick under her seat, just in case she needed to bean an uppity northern negro with it.

Could all the idiots please move to a different country? Canada, maybe. They're always so smart alecky about their health care system and shit it would serve them right.

lulzmonger January 18, 2011 at 4:30 am

Could all the idiots please move to a different country? Canada, maybe.

Careful what you wish for.

Canada will put up Crying Eagle & NASCAR billboards to make them homesick enough to leave … & then convince Canadian idiots to tag along for the trip back home. The resulting real estate boom would make Canada the new global economic kingpin overnight.

Negropolis January 18, 2011 at 6:59 am

Anyone see the new mayor of Toronto? Looks like they already made it to the Great White North. Seriously, the dude is a Canadian teabagger. Nobody thought he'd win the election, last year, and when he did, everybody was like "WTF?"

GOPCrusher January 17, 2011 at 12:39 pm

Oh no, they are all staying on message. A Democratic Congressperson gets shot in the head and 6 people died, that means that they are the real victims here.

easynewz January 17, 2011 at 3:57 pm

Yet another case of Blood Libel!!!!11!!

Leave Trig Alone!

ManchuCandidate January 17, 2011 at 10:31 am

Doesn't matter to them even if Obamer bends over backwards (and he has at times) to appease those stupid racist ignorant fucks. There's a black man in the WHITE house.

KobayashiMaru January 17, 2011 at 10:36 am

[Applause]

the_onceler January 17, 2011 at 10:41 am

did Obama tell you to do that?

mumbly_joe January 17, 2011 at 10:40 am

Crooked Timber had a thing on this recently. As long as one side believes in compromise, and the the other side is angry because there's a black man in the white house, compromise is like compromising with the pirate captain that wants you to walk the plank, by only stepping on the plank and walking out part way.

mavenmaven January 17, 2011 at 10:32 am

The right wing radio fanatics are so used to parroting exactly what their leaders tell them through the radio and teevee that they assume everyone would respond immediately and in unison to imagined cues from the teevee, just like they do.

HempDogbane January 17, 2011 at 10:33 am

Thank God we had this type of Great American to expose the close-captioning conspiracy after the Paul Wellstone memorial service. Vigilance !

MozakiBlocks January 17, 2011 at 10:33 am

Like the man said…If ignorance is bliss, then these folks have reached nirvana…

WhatTheHolyHeck January 17, 2011 at 5:27 pm

They've switched narratives, and it's now about their having successfully punked the many, many liberals who've posted A RETARD IS YOU comments. Dudes, they were only kidding! Get it?

They're so cute, I want to pinch their widdle cheeks.

SorosBot January 17, 2011 at 10:34 am

This tragedy has really driven the wingnuts around the bend trying to blame everything on the liberals (see "he must have been liberal because he listed his favorite book as "Mein Kampf", and even though everyone learned Hitler was far-right in grade school we'll just straight up lie and call him a liberal", for example. Or Palin's blood libel.)

Bonzos_Bed_Time January 17, 2011 at 10:52 am

A. Hitler (D – Munich)

Negropolis January 18, 2011 at 1:59 am

FTW

weejee January 17, 2011 at 10:59 am

Dear Soros, they were National Socialists, QED !!!11!
SOCIALISTS so ≠ far right.

See the uber wingnutty Ludwig von (nein hit but) Mises Institute.

DoktorZoom January 17, 2011 at 12:25 pm

There's no such thing as liberals anymore, just leftists. The wingnut blogs have been describing the woman who took the "incriminating" photos of the captioned speech as a "leftist photographer" and have characterized her emails requesting them to not use her photos without permission as "threats." I didn't know that threats typically included phrases such as "please," but then again, I'm a leftist.

(IANAL, but I doubt she really has a claim against use of the photo–they're prolly covered by fair use)

Negropolis January 18, 2011 at 2:00 am

I'm a bit surprised they haven't referred to our president as a leftist "gorilla" to be honest. I mean, that's really in their lane and about the apex of their ability to be snarky.

Jukesgrrl January 17, 2011 at 6:40 pm

Well, doncha know if you go to the right far enough, pretty soon you'll have to turn around and come back to the left. Or something.

EatsBabyDingos January 17, 2011 at 10:36 am

I'm more worried about the little banner that says "bear down," like I'm birthing a new birther. And flushing twice.

Barrelhse January 17, 2011 at 10:41 am

I think "bear down" refers to Mama Grizzlies sucking dick.

BerkeleyBear January 17, 2011 at 12:34 pm

Sadly it is just a reference to Arizona's cheesy slogan for its football team's grit/toughness (even though they are the Wildcats, they tell yell that the D should "Bear Down"). But your visual is cooler.

Salacious Crumb January 17, 2011 at 2:04 pm

an ugly, pointy headed birther with bad breath?

Jukesgrrl January 17, 2011 at 6:43 pm

When I first moved to Tucson, I was quite puzzled by that slogan. When I would ask about it, the natives looked at me as if I was insane that I didn't "get it." It's treated as being quite profound.

facehead January 17, 2011 at 10:37 am

CLO5ED CAPTIONING IS TELEPROMPTERZZ !!!!1uno!!!!!flourine!!!

KobayashiMaru January 17, 2011 at 10:38 am

And the comments. Oh great Zeus, the comments.

vanishing13 January 17, 2011 at 3:50 pm

I cried

badseeds January 17, 2011 at 4:08 pm

You can't make this shit up.

DustBowlBlues January 17, 2011 at 9:05 pm

I have limited download allowance from the satellite ISP (country life) so I'm not wasting it on reading what these idiots say. Why use up all the allowance before the old man gets a chance to cruise porn?

charlesdegoal January 17, 2011 at 10:41 am

In fact, his purpose was obviously to make a monster pitch for Wells Fargo and "Bear Down" (whatever that is, Bear Sterns down the tubes, maybe?). What we have here is a president who's pwned by the banks, obviously. Wake up America!

GunTotingProgressive January 17, 2011 at 10:52 am

Sadly, this is a true statement…

mookwrthwilson January 17, 2011 at 12:13 pm

"Bear Down" is the University of Arizona's answer to "Roll Tide" or "War Eagle"… http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bear_Down

It's also how Andrew Breitbart requests a blowie.

SorosBot January 17, 2011 at 10:42 am

That is a very shocking image, though; that live closed captioning could actually manage to spell two words in a row correctly is hard to imagine.

ChessieNefercat January 17, 2011 at 12:03 pm

Speaking as someone who relies on closed captioning, I must say you make an excellent point. I like when the sunspots (or whatever) get peppy, and the captions are suddenly in some Martian/Klingon dialect. So helpful.

jim89048 January 17, 2011 at 1:42 pm

It was probably about 20 seconds out of synch, though.

finallyhappy January 17, 2011 at 6:07 pm

Really!

Barbara_i January 17, 2011 at 10:42 am

President Obama could crawl into a cave, yank Bin Laden out, bring him to the white house lawn and kick the bitch until he's dead and still, someone will find something wrong with that. "Yeah, he's 6'6" and on dialysis, wasn't a big deal finding HIM"

Mindblank January 17, 2011 at 12:59 pm

Likewise, Jesus Christ could descend from the heavens and point to Barry as his Chosen One and people would still look for the wires that made Christ fly. I would, myself, come to think of it.

Barbara_i January 17, 2011 at 8:55 pm

Why is it that Sarah said to her handlers that her being veep was "God's will" yet, Barry being POTUS wasn't?

the_onceler January 17, 2011 at 10:43 am

It seems from the picture that Wells Fargo is in on this plot.

Oblios_Cap January 17, 2011 at 12:17 pm

Obviously they didn't get enough TARP cash.

Dances_For_Ham January 17, 2011 at 10:43 am

My neighbor pointed this out to me this morning, to which I replied " It is a lot more subdued then having Scott McClellan run up and down the aisles at Bush's rallies with a large applause sign encouraging the real patriots to clap."

That went over my acquaintance's head. I then told him about closed caption TeeVees. (No response). I then mentioned that I like Ms. Palin's new tits and we had ourselves a warm chuckle and a moment of bonding. I feel dirty for stooping this low.

102415 January 17, 2011 at 11:12 am

The tits is the thing to discuss. Always. Never the pricks though that is too close to home.

HolyMaracas January 17, 2011 at 11:35 am

Did you touch on the "Wrestling is not real" topic or are you saving it for a later time?

Come here a minute January 17, 2011 at 10:45 am

Don't blame Gateway Pundit — it's just pent-up anger from having to order coffee in Fritalian.

Monsieur_Grumpe January 17, 2011 at 10:46 am

Whoopsie. Someone is letting their stupid show. I'm surprised it's still up. I suppose this is a case of arrogance trumps ignorance.

ifthethunderdontgetya January 17, 2011 at 11:03 am

Not only is it still up, the Shrieking Harpy, Pammy Atlas, has joined in on the stupid.
~

badseeds January 17, 2011 at 4:09 pm

It's not going to take it down. After all, more people yelling about it in louder voices makes it truthier.

PsycWench January 17, 2011 at 10:50 am

So what do these people think when they see closed captioning at Fox? If a tea party rally is covered do they think Glenn Beck is telling people to applaud?

Dances_For_Ham January 17, 2011 at 11:09 am

I really think these people sit at home and applause, close doors, make the sounds water makes and drag things around the house, when their TeeVee's closed captions thingie says, "applause, door closing, water rushing, scraping on floor".

Katydid January 17, 2011 at 11:31 am

And why do they have it on closed captioning to begin with? Usually because they accidentally hit the keys to put it on CC when they picked up the remote and don't know how to take it off.

Jukesgrrl January 17, 2011 at 6:50 pm

That's not quite complete. It's when they fall asleep on the couch, roll over onto the remote, and accidentally hit the keys for CC (or Spanish captioning at my house!). At least that what happens here, said the person whose job it is to make it right.

ChessieNefercat January 17, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Barking, birds cheeping, cat meowing, moans, sighs, lion roars, lawnmower, car backfiring, yeah. Sigh.

102415 January 17, 2011 at 11:14 am

Yes. They feel it's their duty like following any orders they are given.

ifthethunderdontgetya January 17, 2011 at 10:52 am

Oh noes!

Jack has blibeled the Gateway Pundit.

This is just like taking away his First Amendment rights, you monster!
~

FlownOver January 17, 2011 at 10:53 am

What happened when the word "gunfire" appeared on the screen?

Bonzos_Bed_Time January 17, 2011 at 10:53 am

I can see the teleprompter reflection in his glasses.

HolyMaracas January 17, 2011 at 11:01 am

That was no memorial! That was a pilot for the new sitcom "10 Things I Hate about Barry"!

LetUsBray January 17, 2011 at 4:48 pm

If we're down to 10, that's progress.

weejee January 17, 2011 at 11:01 am

Today we are all so dancing with hamsters.

♪♫ digga de di de di de doh ♫♪

nappyduggs January 17, 2011 at 11:02 am

Dumb-dumb-dingbats. College students can't read.

Jukesgrrl January 17, 2011 at 6:51 pm

Especially in Arizona.

BarackMyWorld January 17, 2011 at 11:05 am

I'd think the average Fox News viewer would be quite familiar with closed captioning, given most of them are hard of hearing and don't always want to wear their miracle ears.

facehead January 17, 2011 at 11:26 am

BUT DON'TS U SEE?!?!?!?!!??? OUR KENYAN USURPER WANTS TEH OLDZ 2 APPLAUD, SO THE CLAPPER MAKES BLINKY LIGHTS, WHICH CAUSE THE EPILIPTIC FITS AND DEATH PANELS TV DINNER!!!!!!!!SWANSON!!!!!!!

finallyhappy January 17, 2011 at 6:08 pm

But that would involve being able to read quickly(or at all)

Jukesgrrl January 17, 2011 at 6:52 pm

If they've been watching long enough, they know what's being said. It's the same shit over and over.

DustBowlBlues January 17, 2011 at 9:12 pm

I listen to Hate Talk radio from time to time, and it's true. Just the same shit, with an occasional flash of brilliant freshness like Savage yelling about Kagan being too ugly to be a Supreme Court Judge. Yet I know people who seem perfectly nice who listen to this shit day and night. What is wrong with them?

Mindblank January 17, 2011 at 11:06 am

We need captioning for the thinking impaired, obvsly.

Lascauxcaveman January 17, 2011 at 12:07 pm

[good luck with all that]

HempDogbane January 17, 2011 at 11:06 am

I admit to reading comments there. So, so sorry to learn these things about my fellow Americans.
#75 Joseph Nobles
I am a closed captioner and I was working that evening and captioned this event for one of our clients. (There are many stations that ran this live, so I doubt I was actually producing the captions seen in the shot.) But I try to use [APPLAUSE] when cameras aren’t showing an audience reaction, as the shot of Obama above demonstrates. It’s not always successful because captioners usually work off of an audio feed that isn’t time-delayed. Our video is not, so knowing whether the camera will cut away or not is guesswork. But you want the deaf or hard-of-hearing to know why the speaker is no longer speaking, if you can. That’s what this is. It’s descriptive, not proscriptive.
It is long past time for a correction on this story, Mr. Hoft.

#85 Chisum

Oh boy.

About Joseph Nobles:

I was born and educated in Alabama (two years in Mississippi, two grad years in Tennessee). I’ve been an actor most of my life, got to sail around the world, and now I produce captions for live TV. I hate misinformation and the vultures who feed off it wherever I find them. I’ve been debunking 9/11 conspiracy theories since September 2002, I’m the evil liberal scumbag your preacher warned you about, and I’m gay.

DoktorZoom January 17, 2011 at 12:29 pm

[APPLAUSE]!!!!!!

GOPCrusher January 17, 2011 at 12:45 pm

Now that's civility I can believe in!

imissopus January 17, 2011 at 1:17 pm

I'm terrified to go over there and see what kind of responses he got. Good on him.

Gainsbourg69 January 17, 2011 at 3:24 pm

Benjamin Button?

DustBowlBlues January 17, 2011 at 9:16 pm

Are you going to follow this up and tell us how the pilloried this poor bastard? That's a lot of time to spend, explaining shit to moranz. [Applause for futile attempt.]

HempDogbane January 17, 2011 at 11:44 pm

#204 January 15, 2011 at 7:41 pm
Whatever commented:

Wow, you people are really something. You will take ANY reason to bash and crucify your government, your country, and your President.

IT IS CLOSED CAPTIONING FOR THE DEAF you MORONS!

Get real!

@Auntie Madder–See a shrink. Your paranoia is horribly scary.

#205 January 15, 2011 at 7:46 pm
Gene commented:

I do not see any television station logo on the jumbotron so who is doing the supposed closed captioning? Seems like applause cues to me. This was a memorial event. Disgusting.

#206 January 15, 2011 at 7:46 pm
Judy Hobrecht commented:

What a load of bull spit! Closed caption does not put APPLAUSE IN IT for pete’s sakes, the deaf are not BLIND! They can see APPLAUDING FOR GAWD’S SAKES! How ignorant can you people be!!!! When a person hand-signs for the deaf, you do not see them hand signing FREAKING APPLAUSE! WHATTA DUMB ARSED EXCUSE! Liberals as usual will take out freaking lies to defend this idiot in our White House! Having worked with the blind for years, I have never seen closed captioning that has applause in it, EVER!

imissopus January 18, 2011 at 12:17 am

That bit at the end about the blind is possibly the funniest thing I've ever read about anything.

HempDogbane January 18, 2011 at 12:35 am

Karl Rove, is that you?

#170 January 15, 2011 at 6:02 pm
donh commented:

The anger the left is showing over the word ” blood libel ” is evidence they know exactly what game they are playing . The nazi left is just furious anyone would dare call out their lynch mobbing for what it really is. Lets not overlook the exact meaning of the term blood libel . Christians in the dark ages accused mysterious deaths of children to be abductions by jews who needed to draw innocent christian blood for their satanic rituals. Well here we have today Jared, a young jewish man who worships satan, drawing the blood of innocent Christina in a bizzarre ritual of horror. This pool of blood is then sponged up by the devil’s minions to wage a media jihad against all conservative Christians in hopes of spreading more violance . . So now you know . God Bless Sarah Palin for having the courage to speak truth to evil.

deanbooth January 17, 2011 at 11:13 am

Follow the money: Helen Keller was a radical Socialist who helped found the ACLU.

lochnessmonster January 17, 2011 at 3:45 pm

That funds ACORN

walterhwhite January 18, 2011 at 8:38 am

Strangely enough, my mother (now deceased) was named Helen Keller. She would have been happy to learn of her political heritage.

Blendergoathead January 17, 2011 at 11:14 am

Dumb as a bag of dull poop, they are, and proud of it.

Katydid January 17, 2011 at 11:18 am

Must not click. Must not click. Must not click.

wegot2dobetter January 17, 2011 at 11:19 am

so all this time, when the closed captioning has shown musical notes, i was supposed to be singing?

ChessieNefercat January 17, 2011 at 12:17 pm

Or playing a piano.

102415 January 17, 2011 at 11:19 am

Joseph Nobles lives up to his name.

102415 January 17, 2011 at 11:23 am

Oh and I think that's there's some ….
[applause]

Hera Sent Me January 17, 2011 at 11:28 am

Obama could personally develop the cure for cancer, and the wingnuts would claim he only did it to put white oncologists out of business.

Katydid January 17, 2011 at 11:51 am

There's literally nothing Obama or Democrats could do that would satisfy them.

I was reading SadlyNo, and the blogger pointed out that Bill Kristol accused liberals who blame Palin for Tucson of practicising McCarthyism, when wingnuts usually adore McCarthy. Wingnuts will twist themselves silly every time when it comes to Democrats.

MinAgain January 17, 2011 at 11:38 am

Arthur C. Clarke once noted that any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. Maybe the right thinks that Obama is actually a wizard.

CookiE_MonstA January 18, 2011 at 12:18 pm

I'm sure some do since all magic is of the devil as far as they are concerned.

ShiftyParadigm January 17, 2011 at 11:39 am

Wait till they discover the SAP option. "The messicans are taking over my teevee!"

ttommyunger January 17, 2011 at 11:41 am

Plus, have you noticed, Obamer and his WHOLE FAMILY are not white?

V572625694 January 17, 2011 at 11:52 am

That drives'em nuts, it's troo. Also that they're so hawwtt, and wealthy, high achievers, and don't play the grandpappy-was-a-sharecropper card.

"Arrgghh! Cannot reconcile bigotry with class envy and concurrent boner! Must attack to protect twisted world-view!"

ttommyunger January 17, 2011 at 12:12 pm

That would be a fantasy boner, however. None of those fucks have seen a high hard one since high school.

Jukesgrrl January 17, 2011 at 6:58 pm

And they eat too many vegetables.
Vegetables = Communist. White sugar and bacon fat = Amurrican. Ask Sarah.

Tundra Grifter January 17, 2011 at 11:43 am

When the right wing nutz start writing about technology, they produce more cringes than Ricky Gervais.

JustPixelz January 17, 2011 at 11:47 am

Having trouble typing because the big teevee said to applaud. I always obey the teevee. That's why have a shake-weight for each of my snugglies.

Jukesgrrl January 17, 2011 at 6:59 pm

And this year I had to have a plastic appliance installed in my bathtub to wash my feet.

eatingraoul January 17, 2011 at 9:06 pm

Did you obey and buy the fart machine 2, it blows the original fart machine away!
No shit!

Wadisay January 17, 2011 at 11:51 am

This is the same school of thought that believes that trailer parks cause tornados.

finallyhappy January 17, 2011 at 6:10 pm

Well, the decrease in pirates did cause global warming, right?

CookiE_MonstA January 18, 2011 at 12:19 pm

Cause, no. Attract..? mebe…

Oblios_Cap January 17, 2011 at 11:53 am

From reading the comments on that site, I can conclusively state that the rules of grammar are not meant to be obeyed. For that crowd they are only guidelines, at best.

I seem to remember a time when stupid people tried to stay silent and not let slip the fact that they were morons by speaking. Some guy in a top hat and beard even had a saying that people used to quote concerning the issue.

Jukesgrrl January 17, 2011 at 7:02 pm

It's not merely grammar that's a guideline. In Arizona the term "Speed Limit" means "Suggested Starting Point."

Pop_Socket January 17, 2011 at 11:55 am

The comments are full of the usual cognitive dissonance. It doesn't matter whether it was close captioned or not. Obama is still black.

DustBowlBlues January 17, 2011 at 9:29 pm

Today, it's scary to think that after all the struggles of the Civil Rights Movement, when Obama was elected, I thought this nation was truly better than I'd believed, that the dream had come true.

Instead, the election of a half-negro his full negress First Lady has explosed a vein of racism that is deeper, more endemic and more vicious than the old man or I had realized existed in this great country, which, it turns out, isn't that great after all.

The level of the hatred is sickening as well as shocking. He's black. Nothing else matters to them. What is wrong with these people?

Okay, that was my in-honor-of-Dr.-King moment on this, his special day. Back to the snark. [also]

SheriffRoscoe January 17, 2011 at 11:57 am

Reading the retard comments over at Gateway Pundit kind of reminds me of some cartoon where the "dumb" character thinks he's ensnared the "clever" character in some sort of trap, and keeps saying "Ooh, I got him! I've got him now!"

EdFlintstone January 17, 2011 at 11:59 am

When will Rand Paul put an end to the tyranny of closed captioning?

Jukesgrrl January 17, 2011 at 7:06 pm

Yes, why can't those impaired people take care of themselves? If God gave them infirmities, he also gave them the tools to overcome their problems. As the great Sharron Angle said, "Make lemonade from unwanted babbies!"

Beattitudes January 17, 2011 at 12:03 pm

Reading this on today of all days, makes me wonder why so many mentally ill people have access to the internet, and the proliferation of mentally ill in the Tea Party/GOP

Substitute racists for mentally ill if necessary, wash rinse repeat

Oblios_Cap January 17, 2011 at 12:19 pm

Wash, Rinse Prebus, and repeat.

SheriffRoscoe January 17, 2011 at 12:11 pm

Next time we see wingnuts diving into an empty pool, can we just wait a little longer before telling 'em it's empty?

DustBowlBlues January 17, 2011 at 9:21 pm

If Sean O'Rushbeck gave the diving order, it wouldn't matter if you did [also].

coolhandnuke January 17, 2011 at 12:25 pm

If you've ever viewed the choreographed enthusiasm and vacant, glassy-eyed audience of any infomercial, that is the bulwark of the enlightened Right.

Steverino247 January 17, 2011 at 1:00 pm

As a hearing-impaired person, I often need to use closed-caption settings when I watch movies and television. Fortunately, I read very fast, so I can follow the action and not be the last guy in the room to laugh at Mel Brooks. For these assholes to fuck this up is not surprising. Because…

It's an example of how the right is committing AURAL LIBEL against me.

DON'T RETREAT–SAY, "WHAT WAS THAT AGAIN?"

(And a big "thank you" to the kind people who do that work so I can enjoy life more!)

__kth__ January 17, 2011 at 1:13 pm

Whoever lets "Gateway Pundit" out of the group home into the general population looking like this isn't doing him any favors. Or the rest of us.

teebob2000 January 17, 2011 at 1:46 pm

AAAHHH!!!!! How about a warning or something??? Geez.

LetUsBray January 17, 2011 at 4:56 pm

Sheesh, were his mom and dad also his grandma and brother or something?

coolhandnuke January 17, 2011 at 1:52 pm

This latest conspiratorial outcry against closed captioning, comes from the same group who railed at the screens in karaoke bars as over-regulatory.

easynewz January 17, 2011 at 4:02 pm

Text goes in. Text goes out. There's no missed communication. You can't explain that!!!1!!

DustBowlBlues January 17, 2011 at 9:31 pm

I love an O'Reilly shout-out of stupid. Thanks.

marionetta January 17, 2011 at 4:14 pm

Pigs are flying.

Rush Lardbo attacks RW nutbars: http://mediamatters.org/mmtv/201101170005

"Even Limbaugh Doesn't Buy Phony Right-Wing Story That There Were Applause Signs At Obama's Tucson Speech, But Suspects "Trickery""

DustBowlBlues January 17, 2011 at 9:39 pm

Trickery?

If the crowd had just sat there, quietly, with tears streaming down their faces, the RW would have exposed Obama's speech as being too much a downer, proving, once again, that he hates America.

I'm surprised that no one has accused Obama of lying about Giffords opening her eyes and accusing her husband of letting Obama lie about get away with it.

It just doesn't matter. Their racism is so deep and ingrained and vicious, that nothing matters. Since they started screaming "you're playing the race card" before anyone mentioned it, they've sort of neutralized it. Only Carter had the balls to tell the truth. Also. [tears trickling down face]

DoktorZoom January 18, 2011 at 12:16 am

Ye gods…I'll give Rushbo the credit he deserves for actually saying something rooted in reality.

Redhead January 17, 2011 at 4:27 pm

In related news, I have proof that wingnuts are batshit crazy morons with a combined IQ of 2.

glamourdammerung January 17, 2011 at 5:01 pm

Given how many disabled people are teabaggers, one would think that enough of them would know what closed captioning was.

DustBowlBlues January 17, 2011 at 8:51 pm

I once wrote an opinion for the Civil Service Commission in Seattle, telling the appellant you lost because we didn't have jurisdiction in the first place. I closed with, "hereby dismissed with prejudice," meaning, of course, beat it. You think we're wrong? Fine. Go tell the Superior Court Judge, or POTUS or the International War Crimes Tribunal. We don't give a fuck.

He wrote us back saying, "See? You admit you were prejudiced in the first place!" I'm sure he would have read what he wanted to into the Jumbotron.

That moran, however, was a genius compared to these wingnuts. Have Amerikanz always been this stoopid?

Barbara_i January 17, 2011 at 9:00 pm

It's just a matter of time before someone accuses Barry of having a t-shirt cannon at the memorial.

doxastic January 17, 2011 at 9:11 pm

I'm waiting for the photos that purport to show the Philly Phanatic giving out high-fives in the upper level.

DustBowlBlues January 17, 2011 at 9:19 pm

I assume that now the regulars on "my" the wonket will be adding [also] to comments about moran amerukans and truck nutz when they ask in what respect Charley meant that comment.

doxastic January 17, 2011 at 9:20 pm

Those comments are just priceless. My favorite so far:

Is there any confirmation that this is not photoshopped? Because if it is not, and this is legitimate, then there is a whole other level of outrage that needs to be released on this President and his party.

A whole 'nother level

politics_nerd January 17, 2011 at 10:19 pm

God I love idiots.

MadBrahms January 17, 2011 at 11:43 pm

By far, the best response was at http://iowntheworld.com/blog/?p=55007 ,
"Many on the left were quick to point out that the “applause” that appears on the screen are not prompts but closed-captioning. Really? I think it’s WORSE that it’s closed-captioning.Had some ass prompted the people to cheer, boo, applaud, act like morons and completely inappropriately, I would still have a scintilla of hope that maybe the left could be rehabilitated. Nope. Sadly the screen was merely reporting the goings-on. Scary, huh?"

NEVER RETREAT, NEVER SURRENDER, TEA-NUTS! Always find a way to nail the Kenyan! Clearly, people were actually *supporting their president* and signalling that they supported a *return to civility*, which is completely unpatriotic and crass. (In contrast to such vulgar displays of affection, wingnuts know to only applaud and cheer at rallys in response to the extension of the right arm)

tabouley January 18, 2011 at 1:19 am

No, the Pres is crass, stupid, and will NEVER do anything with any taste, compassion, or dignity. Never.
here's another take: http://honeytrail.wordpress.com/2011/01/15/togeth
Go down to "Auntie Libs" comment at 10:21.
I think we should get this person to comment on the Zapruder film, I am sure he would find something everyone else has missed.

cheaphits January 18, 2011 at 4:35 am

Reading the comments to the Gateway Pundit makes me want to try to talk some sense into those people, but it would be pissin' in the wind.

lulzmonger January 18, 2011 at 4:41 am

If the wingnuts didn’t have those annoying college kids to focus on, they may have had to admit that Obama’s speech was actually really good. Haha, nevermind. They would have just complained about that shaman guy. “America is COWBOYS, not INJINS.”

Would have & did :http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/34360.html

But it doesn't count because DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING rejects your reality, & replaces it with its own! conservatives are all about the civility now, don't you know.

garystrat January 18, 2011 at 11:00 am

Teabaggers are to politics – as Shemp was to the Three Stooges !

CookiE_MonstA January 18, 2011 at 12:24 pm

These people can not represent a majority of Americans. Can They..?

ShaveTheWhales January 18, 2011 at 1:42 pm

[The President is black]

Barbara_i January 17, 2011 at 8:51 pm

I ran away from the dirty south at age 17, and Nancy stayed. Breaks my heart to go to Mobile and watch a sweet little server in a restaurant take my order with her eyes downcast. It's still going on down there. Nancy is dying to come to New Mexico to visit me. Baby steps. I just let her meet my two daughters, age 28 and 29 for the first time. They didn't like her, lol.

Barbara_i January 17, 2011 at 8:53 pm

Hilarious, thanks TxSpinyLizrd! I usually just send cards to her and write on the outside of the envelope, "so, you still hoping to boink the mailman?"

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