let's make sure we spell this 'reince priebus' tag right first

Something Called a ‘Reince Priebus’ Is Your New RNC Chair

A comedy, tonight?The Republican National Committee has voted for change: It has voted for people making fun of their chairman’s name. On the 864th ballot, which was sponsored by a Lockheed Martin jet, the RNC finally selected Wisconsin Republican Party chair Reince Priebus as its new chairman. His claim to fame is defeating Russ Feingold and winning the governorship of his state this past year, though he kindly let guys named Ron Johnson and Scott Walker take those jobs after the election. And here’s a fun game: try to say his name one time fast. Yeah. Impossible. He has a funny name. Which is just what they said about a guy named Barack Obama. (Priebus is secretly Kenyan, is what we’re saying.)

We are going to force you to watch his campaign video for a few seconds at the 1:55 point:

That was niiiice of those foooolks.

HE IS A TOUR DE FORCE.

“I’m not running for chairman because I think I’m better than anyone,” he says. So he’ll be worse than Michael Steele? Hooray!

Anyway, out of jealousy that this guy has two weird, hard-to-pronounce names, your editor is changing his to “Freunt Stuef.”

This guy’s name sounds like the name of a tart filling you order at a bakery in Europe and immediately spit out because it’s disgusting. It sounds like the scientific name for a small, forest-dwelling mammal. It sounds like the three-quarters of beers you can’t order at a good bar.

Here are some Twitter jokes.

About the author

Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

View all articles by Jack Stuef

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • SorosBot

    Wasn't Reince Priebus a Harry Potter character?

    • gef05

      Yes, yes he was. He had sex with Professor Dumbledore, on a unicorn, right before the scandalous scene involving Hermione and a pat of butter..

      • LionelHutzEsq

        Please forward said scene with Hermione or be subject to the Crucio curse!!!

        • gef05

          When I say "Hermione" I do, of course, mean "Ron."

        • Beowoof

          And make sure it is in HD.

      • http://fontofliberty.blogspot.com/ Rarian Rakista

        I bet she can use a whole stick now.

    • DonnyKerabotsos

      a hybrid car, obviously…Limbaugh will be furious…

    • PsycWench

      One of the minor Death Eaters.

    • Walkinwiddaking

      Nah, I'm pretty sure that's the Latin term for cunt.

    • Sophist FCD

      Actually, it sounds more like a character from one of the Star Wars prequels. You know, after Lucas ran out of good names and started coming up with them by pulling Scrabble tiles out of a hat.

      • Negropolis

        Did someone say Jar Jar Binks?

    • Wadisay

      You're thinking of Bezu Feche, duh.

  • Troubledog

    Wait until you read his novel, The Rural Juror

    • johnnymeatworth

      and the sequel, "Urban Fervor…."

  • Jerri

    "Reince Priebus" sounds like an olde legale terme for the consequences of a sex act. "Your honor, Goode Withers was found in ye olde slop trough in Farmer Jackobes' barn committing an an unholy act with the stablehand! The good people demand Reince Priebus!"

    • http://fontofliberty.blogspot.com/ Rarian Rakista

      You want him to be gay married, sounds fine to me. If an RNC chairman gets gay married while in office I think the whole world gets a free taco.

    • LetUsBray

      Oh, like in Aristophanes' play "The Wasps", where he claimed the penalty for adultery was to get buttsecksed with a giant radish: A "Reince Priebus".

    • http://www.stumbleupon.com/stumbler/cheaphits/reviews/ cheaphits

      Actually, I'm pretty sure it's Latin for Rent Boy.

    • chickensmack

      Death by reince priebus!

      • Negropolis

        Sounds painful, but oddly squishy and disappointing, like being sponged to death, which is like waterboarding, but it takes days on end.

        • chickensmack

          You're close.

          The old joke referred to two British explorers caught wandering in the darkest African jungle by a native tribe that offered them their liberty after "unga bunga." Neither of them knowing what that meant, the first captive explorer agreed. He was then sodomized repeatedly by the tribesmen.

          The second stiffupperlipper suggested he'd rather endure death than to be ravaged by savages. The chieftain then declared: "So be it. DEATH — BY UNGA BUNGA!"

  • metamarcisf

    Where's the birth certificate?

    • Come here a minute

      LONG FORM PLEASE!

    • Mahousu

      It had a couple of typos in it, so they sent it back.

    • Jukesgrrl

      And it better be from a state we've heard of. Not some pretend state like "New" Mexico.

      • metamarcisf

        As a citizen of the pretend state of New Mexico, I represent that remark!

      • Negropolis

        There's a new Mexico?

        • OneDollarJuana

          It's where such things as Mexi-Fries and Enchiritos come from.

          • Negropolis

            Gawd, take it back, then.

            Tex-Mex, BTW, is the world of both worlds if you ask me.

    • Terry

      Is he the son of a bachelor Norweigan farmer tribesman?

  • EdFlintstone

    How many MPG does it get?

    • Gleem_McShineys

      Unclear.
      But most importantly, esp. to the RNC, it does not have any NRG.

    • Sparky_McGruff

      You may laugh, because it looks stupid… But there are a lot of young boys that have lost their virginity in the back of a Reince Preibus.

      • Negropolis

        FTW

    • transfatz

      It runs on cheese.

  • Janinthepan

    There was a great segment on Colbert about "The Reince Priebus". http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-v

    • forgracie

      Your avatar! Actually, that movie should have been called "The Head that Wouldn't Shut Up." Like Palin.

      • Janinthepan

        It would only be "The Head that Wouldn't Shut Up" at the very end of the movie. The beginning credits would title it "The Brain that Wouldn't Shut Up".

    • Gay Mexican Intern

      That was fucking classic Colbert. I just about ruined my laptop with nose-borne coffee.

      I regret I have but one upfist to give you for that link.

  • natoslug

    Now there's a person who would've been bullied even if he was home-schooled. How long until his Top goes public?

    • Janinthepan

      I want to hand him books just so I can dump them.

    • Negropolis

      Awww, boooy! Shit just got real.

  • http://reverbnation.com/macvalentine macvalentine

    Finally, a white guy with a name I can't pronounce that I can really get behind. Yes, I meant that in a dirty way.

  • Crank_Tango

    prince riebus, where are the fucking jobs? and why have you not yet killed the healthcare I don't have?

  • SorosBot

    What's his favorite bar?

    • PalinPussyPower

      His kitchen table. Oh, you were asking about bar? http://www.mickys.com/

    • LionelHutzEsq

      Anyone where you don't have to read.

    • SecretMuslin

      Oh, all of 'em!

    • genxr

      The Warren Piece, just off 6th Street.

    • DangerHelvetica
      • http://fontofliberty.blogspot.com/ Rarian Rakista

        Stephen Colbert is not funny because random white chicks get raped, what does that article mean?

    • Beowoof

      Oh come on he is a republican, it has to be a gay bar.

      • http://fontofliberty.blogspot.com/ Rarian Rakista

        If he is a Catholic he can just go to church.

    • Terry

      All of them

    • umm_huh

      Crime and Punishment. "I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them, Sam I Am."

    • Come here a minute

      Ronald Reagan

  • SexySmurf

    This is off his meager Wikipedia page:

    "He also has a dog named Sam. His favorite flavor of ice cream is chocolate chip."

    If I was Obama, I'd just resign now.

    • SorosBot

      A dog named Sam? Great, the dog's probably telling Reince's neighbor to go out and kill people for Satan.

    • ClownCrusade

      No way! I have a friend named Sam whose dog is named Reince Priebus!

    • zhubajie

      Any photos with stupid dog?

      • Beowoof

        Sure they are in Man on Dog, Bestiality Weekly.

  • SayItWithWookies

    I think Reince Priebus is Norwegian for "evil babyhead."

    • SecretMuslin

      I thought it was Tagalog for gangrenous foreskin.

    • Gleem_McShineys

      Really?! Then I have totally been using the wrong word for "prolapsed anus"

  • Amaravilha

    This is a victory for middle-aged rich white assholes everywhere. And John McCain.

  • natoslug

    And thanks (or in other words, fuck you!) for making me laugh with Dave Weigel.

    • BeWoot

      Weigel has been truly liberated by his firing from WaPo. He's lotsa fun these days.

  • PalinPussyPower

    At least this one's not a negro.

    What? Don't act like you're not relieved.

    • LionelHutzEsq

      Please. The correct term is Nrg.

    • http://www.wonkette.com Salacious Crumb

      hardly, hardly Urban.

    • Jukesgrrl

      You're not supposed to say "a negro." You're supposed to say "very, very urban." Dipshit.

  • edgydrifter

    Son of Vruehl and Ceccoc Priebus.

  • GuanoFaucet

    Well, at least he didn't accuse anyone of blood libel. Yet.

    • Beowoof

      Wait for his acceptance speech.

  • tbogg

    So, wait, they went gay (Mehlman), Island-Mexican (Martinez), black guy (Steele) and now they're back to gay again?

    I thought once you go black you never go back.

    • Negropolis

      Gay is the new black, I guess.

      • bflrtsplk

        So that would make black the new gay, then?

        • Negropolis

          Yeah, when one moves up, everyone else goes down a notch.

    • XOhioan

      I was gonna say, they need a neck brace to keep Miss Thang from doing those sassy head wiggles.

    • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

      Once you go gay, it never goes away

  • bflrtsplk

    That one time I had a Reince Priebus and I had to go into emergency surgery to have it removed? Man, it hurt like hell and had to stop drinkin' fer six months. Not again!

  • Cicada

    Priapism.

  • ClownCrusade

    Prince Rebus?

    Oh, I see, Wikipedia clears this all up: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rebus

  • JustPixelz

    If only Michael Steele had won more Congressional seats on his watch, he'd still be top dog in the Repubican Party.

    • Negropolis

      Mikey would have had to win every seat in both houses and every governorship in the country to get them to forgive him his black skin.

    • PubOption

      No, that's the Boston Terrier.

  • http://reverbnation.com/macvalentine macvalentine

    He looks like he has the potential to be a sassy, flamboyant Olympic ice skating champion.

    • Terry

      With a wide stance?

      • http://fontofliberty.blogspot.com/ Rarian Rakista

        That man no longer can fart, the only way other people would know if a fart was coming would be if he jammed a whistle up there.

  • WhatTheHeck

    I think he’s a Preince of a guy, but those are some of the whitest Kenyans I ever did see.

  • mindo99

    He sounds like that old Martin Short character Ed Grimley. "That was nice of those folks, if I do say so myself!"

  • ClownCrusade

    Prince Rebus?

    Oh, I see, Wikipedia clears it all up: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rebus

  • Troubledog

    This guy is super boring. He will never say anything funny in his whole life.

    And now for something completely different. Oblivious Texting Girl Apparently Unhurt Following Mall Fountain Accident

    • Crank_Tango

      Vitriol.

    • finallyhappy

      People jaywalk across major streets here in the DC area (at least Georgia and Colesville) while texting- I guess a video of me hitting one of them wouldn't be very funny- or how about if I was going really slow?

    • http://fontofliberty.blogspot.com/ Rarian Rakista

      I had a freshman walk into me on the stairs today on campus. He got angry so I gave him the grad school crazy eyes and he ran away.

      • Janinthepan

        He got angry? I tell ya these kids nowadays….

  • http://wonkette.com/ Monsieur_Grumpe

    Sounds like one of them foreigners. Sounds gay too. Reptile eyes. I bet he's got a MOM tattoo on his ass. Yup, he's RNC material.

  • memzilla

    Among the anagrams for "Reince Priebus" are: Beer Incurs Pie, Pubic Sneer Ire, Eerie Crib Puns, Crisp Bee Urine, Be Precise Ruin, and I Be Pruriences.

    • Katydid

      From now on, he'll always be "Crisp Bee Urine" to me.

      • thebeatgoeson08

        my personal favorite, also!

    • _MISS_T_

      Also: Brie Penis Cure*

      *can't take credit – Colbert

  • MinAgain

    I guess it's true what they say…a black man has to work twice as hard and have twice as much success to get half as much credit.

    • http://s227.photobucket.com/albums/dd271/lascauxcaveman/?action=view&current=KZ1100shafty.jpg Lascauxcaveman

      That would mean they count as 1/4. Wrong! The Constitution says they count as 3/5!

      • OneDollarJuana

        Let's see. Um, that's 2 (as hard) * 2 (as much) * 3/5 (of a white man) * 1/2 (as much credit) = 1.2! He still did better than parity, so why didn't he win the reelection?

  • bumfug

    Blather, Reince, Repeat.

    • gef05

      A+++ WOULD READ AGAIN

      • Oblios_Cap

        Damn! Beat me to it.

  • LionelHutzEsq

    Is he still married to Zsa Zsa, and was it ever proven that he didn't father Anna Nichole's baby?

    • Crank_Tango

      he put superglue in his eye recently, fwiw.

      • LionelHutzEsq

        Hell, he seems more qualified than most to be GOP chair. What is his stance on young boys? In particular: Is it wide?

        • LetUsBray

          His stance on young boys? Like most in the GOP, squarely behind.

  • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

    His speech pattern reminds me of Victoria Jackson's.

    (Also, I own that exact necktie. DAMMIT.)

  • GuanoFaucet

    What's his stand on child labor laws?

    • Beowoof

      Put the bastards to work and quit taking all our money for education.

    • Terry

      Ever read Oliver Twist?

    • OneDollarJuana

      He thinks it should be the law that you stand on laboring children.

  • StillGoinGreen

    How odd, Reince Priebus is exactly what I now call that spot previously known as my taint.

  • usernameguy

    This is what happens when you name your kid while playing Scrabble.

  • OneYieldRegular

    No one's yet answered my prior inquiry into the correct pronunciation of his name, so I'm just going to have to go with "Reyoncé"

    • emmelemm

      Thank you for that. Me like!

    • finallyhappy

      If you like it, then you have to put a ring on it.

    • Terry

      I'm going with Rinse Pre-bus. Sounds like high school hygiene advice.

    • Patty_Cakes

      I think it rhymes with Bigus Dickus.

      He has a wife, you know. Incontinentia Buttocks.

  • gef05

    The Republicans have a lot of gall to play games with the name "Barack Obama" when they've got this guy waiting in the wings.

    Oh but wait, one sounds black.

    • Sophist FCD

      I don't know, his name is so far off the white end of the spectrum that it might actually warp back around onto the black end. I could totally believe that Reince Priebus was a tight-end for the Raiders, for instance.

  • HolyMaracas

    Sounds like a Dr.Seuss wingunt character that rhymes with Jeebus.

  • Katydid

    He sounds and looks like a tard. Oh, what, like you weren't thinking it.

    • Radiotherapy

      C'mon Katydid, civility, please.

      Actually thanks for the visual as I can't watch the video.

    • Beowoof

      I have not been able to watch the video my gag reflex is too sensitive. Thanks for pointing out what I had kind of figured to be the case.

  • snoopyfan2010

    If the video is true, he is the evil beast that we have to thank for the election of so many Repubs.

  • Troubledog

    Reince Priebus and Erick Erickson anchor opposite ends of the Creativity In Baby Naming bell curve.

    • SecretMuslin

      Anchor babies!

      • Troubledog

        As the prophecy hath foretold.

  • Rotundo_

    Looks like he just fell out of the Young Republican Bang Bus.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Does Cheeseheadlandia's esteemed former Junior Senator Joe McCarthy know that Wisconsin has "TURNED RED." (0:05)

    Sweet Jeebus frincking Cheetos, old Joe must be spinning in his grave at the thought that Wisconsin Rethugs were celebrating that his beloved state turned red.

  • EdFlintstone

    Will he offend the constitution? Dustbowl–that performance of your new Governor had to make you OK democrats laugh your ass off.

    • DustBowlBlues

      What? What did I miss while I was at True Grit? (Which I immediately recognized as not the Winding Stair Mountains, btw. Just in case the Coens are reading.)

      • EdFlintstone

        Check out her swearing in, just google it with offend the constitution.

  • Radiotherapy

    Rhymes with fuckface, dick pus.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      The contraction for Reince would, Reince'd, is a homophone for rancid. So using this in a sentence:

      Cafe patron Waiter I have a Reince'd Priebus in my soup
      Waiter So take it up with Justice Thomas at the Supreme Court

      • Radiotherapy

        There is a troll in our soup.

      • http://s227.photobucket.com/albums/dd271/lascauxcaveman/?action=view&current=KZ1100shafty.jpg Lascauxcaveman

        Last time I ever eat there. I'm going to give them a scathing review on TripAdvisor.

  • coolhandnuke

    Carson Daly's doppelganger.

  • Bluestatelibel

    Is that a muslin name? Where's the birth certificate?

  • GeorgiaBurning

    What a forehead. Is his birth certificate in Klingonese?

  • chascates

    What the RNC liked best is he's not urban at all!

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      But with a name like that is he turban?

  • GodShammgod

    I hope he reinces his priebus, or else his tinkle might burn.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      And that would be nothing to clap about.

  • Jerri

    Moo moo?

  • Flitzy

    So can we start a pool about when and what type of scandal will happen for the Priebus era of the RNC?

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      My money's on trolls peeing on the floor of the Howz. They're sure collecting a bunch here at our Wonkette.

      • finallyhappy

        My money is on the usual- having the wide stance while being married to a "good christian" woman, being a deacon in your church and having spoken about bringing back DADT.

    • Radiotherapy

      My money is on it being right out of the Alinsky playbook, with Palin being the resultant victim, and blame ultimately going to the liberal media.

  • AutomaticPilot

    Looks like a douche… so he'll be perfect for the job.

  • bitchincamaro2

    My money was on Freakin Doofus, but this turd will do.

  • Pragmatist2

    It's pronounced "Reeses Pieces"
    Trust me. I'm Albanian.

    • http://s227.photobucket.com/albums/dd271/lascauxcaveman/?action=view&current=KZ1100shafty.jpg Lascauxcaveman

      Waitaminute, didn't the wise Vizinni say "Never trust an Albanian?"

    • Extemporanus

      "There's no wrong way to eat a Reince Priebus!" 
       
      Those hypocritical RNC closet cases may not be as dumb as we think — they just elected a chairman with a candy-ass-sounding name famous for attracting a homeless, uninsured, brown skinned, illegal alien.*
       
      *(EDITORS: Howz 'bout making a photo like that of Reince "Reese's Pieces" Priebus and his long-fingered, waist-tall, extra-testicled, anchor boyfriend the dude's de facto Wonkette blog post portrait?) 

  • mayor_quimby

    Without searching the comments above, I submit Rinces Prepuce
    Booya!
    EDIT: I meant Rinses Prepuce
    Yes, I will spell it out, I want my P-Dollars http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/prepuce

  • Worthly Wokette Skum

    Dear RNC,

    Please remember – Rinse Priapus after the vote.

  • dogscantlookup

    Renee Priapus?

  • voodooeconomics

    Priebus, go to your father, Petraeus!

    Must have been a long night of drinking to come up with a name like that.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    I, for one, will miss Steele. I eagerly await his 'Brother can't get a break in the RNC" media tour next week.

    • zhubajie

      Let him vacation permanently in Rio with a large share of their money. And make mocking podcasts!

  • Gleem_McShineys

    Rinse Peebags

    RNC, Now more scooterbound-TeaBagger-friendlier than everer!

  • JackObin

    Reince Priebus sounds like a hybrid douchebag.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    And Steele didn't even get to bring the Republican Party into urban-suburban hip-hop settings. What a pity. Or a pitizzle, for shizzle.

  • genxr

    On Twitter, it's spelled RNC PBS.

  • indecencycmdr

    Remember when Bill Cosby, a few years ago, was like "C'mon, black people. Give your kids normal names. Not like D'Brickashaw". Well, well, well Mr. Cosby. The chickens have come home to roost! (um, what? sorry.)

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Likely Reince'd support our current stealth troll infestation. For the exterminations we should not Delay to load logic into an old Flit mister and spray it up their Essos.

  • Extemporanus

    Outgoing RNC chairman Michael Steele just issued the following statement in support of his newly-elected successor:

    "Reiba Priebus is oba-kaybus, ba-baby! Buh-byeba nowba!"

  • Veritas78

    Wasn't Rience Priebus the guy that Duvalier overthrew in Haiti? You look in the Port-au-Rience phone book and they got Priebuses up the wazoo. Mebbe this guy's an albino anchor-babette or sumpin.

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    Reince Priebus?

    Sounds like a peeance, freeance, secure Iraq .
    ~

  • PublicLuxury

    What a pubic hair

  • zhubajie

    Is he the Antichrist? Or only the prophet (profit!) of the Antichrist?

  • zhubajie

    I still hope Steele manages to make off with RNC megabucks and then gives an interview in Brazil laughing at all the Republifools. Maybe open a chain of lesbo S&M bars.

  • snoopyfan2010

    A quote from TPM:
    "Reince Priebus who worked at a law firm that helped clients seek stimulus funds. In 2009, Priebus’s firm, Michael Best & Friedrich LLP, created a “Stimulus Legislation Team” — of which Priebus was listed as a member — that promised clients to “identify opportunities, prepare appropriate proposals and make targeted contacts to secure funds.”
    The same Priebus that said "My guess is he would believe that Obama should be executed and he oughta be treated as a war criminal." "

  • crybabyboehner

    His parents must have wanted a girl.

    • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

      Didn't they get one, basically?

      • crybabyboehner

        Fortunately for them, you are correct, !

  • SaintRond

    Every single person in that video has the skin tone of a cartoon pig.

    • problemwithcaring

      Lots of close ups and stagnant shots of people's red necks as well. Symbolism?

  • Barbara_i

    Someone just tweeted that if you take the vowels out of Reince Priebus you get
    RNC PR BS

    • iburl

      ReiNCe PRieBuS

      That's hi-larious! There is a God!

    • Barrelhse

      Now take the bowels out of Reince Prepuce.

      • Extemporanus

        You can take the bowels out of Reince Priebus, but you can't take Reince Priebus out of the bowels.

        • Barbara_i

          Yeah, there aint that kind of fiber known to mankind. Not even straight up wood chips.

  • fuflans

    this is what la palin meant by 'T'.

  • ttommyunger

    To make it easy for the 'Tards, he shall simply be known as the "RNC Chief previously known as: Fuckmeinthemouth".

  • http://livebythefoma.blogspot.com Pop_Socket

    He sounds like the bastard child of Rush Limbaugh and Stuart Smalley.

  • GodShammgod

    I'm guessing he's your typical self-loathing closeted gay Catholic, since "Priebus" sounds like a cross between "priest" and "penis".

  • http://www.wonkette.com/ FlownOver

    Remember, you can't spell "Reince Priebus" without "urine biceps."

    • mourningnmerica

      Bwahhh!!!

    • OneDollarJuana

      Or without "ursine crib pee."

  • iburl

    We're all gonna need a Reince Prebus (Swedish for 'Taint Douche') after seeing the J. Loughner G-string pics.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    I'm not sure if'n he's a Tea Bagger or not, but since he's from Wisconsin there's a good chance he's a Cannibal.

  • James Michael Curley

    A red g-string? He posed wearing his freakin' Glock 19 and a red g-string?

    • StillGoinGreen

      This piece of shit has really tried my character for sure. I am a staunch opponent of the death penalty – hell, I testified for leniency on behalf of my own brother's murderer, for cripes sake. But for this fucker, I don't think I mind seeing him get the juice – and that has really been fucking with my sleep lately.

  • Barrelhse

    And with that name, there must be a Limerick in here somewhere.

    • Janinthepan

      There once was a repub named Reince, who rarely ever wore pants. He'd go to bars in a skirt, with the boys he would flirt, and blow them if they gave him a chance.

      That's as good as I can come up with in five minutes, enjoy!

  • Jukesgrrl

    I tried Reince Priebus at a tasting in Napa. I took a couple of bottles home, but it wasn't worth buying a whole case. Too oaky.

    • doxastic

      I reinced my priebus once. Not recommended.

  • Barrelhse

    heh. Prepuce!

  • Beowoof

    Reince Priebus is that Latin for swollen prostrate?

  • lulzmonger

    Given we're talking RNC here it's redundant to say so, but: doped to the tits, a pedo, or both.

    Oh man, I can actually smell the forest of fat rich old guy dicks on his breath right through my monitor … brb, Air-Wick.

  • Troubledog

    Reince Priebus Reince unh Reince Priebus can't stop talkin bout Reince Priebus Reince Priebus Reince Priebus to tha mothafuckin Reince Priebus people lemme hearya say Reince Priebus Reince Priebus y'all fucked up about Reince Priebus Reince Priebus bitches

  • http://www.marinmaven.com marinmaven

    Anagrams of Reince Priebus:
    Ruin Be Precise
    Epic Rube Risen
    Curb Eerie Spin
    Ursine Crib Pee
    Bruise Creep In
    Be Prurience Is

    His name is trying to tell us something.

    His name sounds like comes from the era when people believed in Homunculi and women had no souls.

  • Selfish_T

    Reince should've sobered up before making that video.

  • mourningnmerica

    If you rearrange the letters in his name, it spells "miserable prick".

  • OneTrueLiberal

    Don't Republicans have the oddest names?

    "Reince Priebus"? What kind of a name is that?

    Why don't they have sensible, American names like good TrueLiberal Democrats?

    Hearty, Honest, American, Midwest names like, say, Kweisi Mfume? Or Chaka Fattah?

    Oh, or Barack Hussein Obama?

    Cordially,

    Eleanor

    • StillGoinGreen

      Welcome, Eleanor, but next time you come a callin, please reince your priebus before gettin here.

    • Selfish_T

      I don't get it.

  • Beowoof

    By the way Jack, the Buster Keeton photo was awesome as a representation of the leader of the RNC.

  • KRexRoOoarR

    What a pleasant surprise, I thought they'd pick a fat old white guy but, they picked the geeky bobble headed white guy instead! Seriously his head shakes more than Michael J. Fox's. I'm still REALLY going to miss Steele.

  • mourningnmerica

    His name is also dangerously close to France Prius, the two things republicans hate most.

  • Sophist FCD

    The Reincess and the GOPea, or, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Poorhouse

  • mourningnmerica

    They can kiss the one armed midget vote goodbye.

  • cheetojeebus

    Ponce Priapus

  • SaintRond

    Every time I see a new Republican, they always amaze me at how they all have some perverted quality going on that uniquely belongs to them – this guy has his too; he's a compulsive fucking wiggler. I wonder what the next freak who comes along is going to demonstrate.

    • Negropolis

      The Wiggler. I like…

  • eatingraoul

    TAFKAR——–The A—– Formerly Known As Reince ………… u fill in the blanks

  • eatingraoul

    Why did the RNC vote for the cartoon dude from Mad?

  • doxastic

    Why is Priebus doing an impression of Sara Benincasa doing an impression of Michele Bachmann?

  • obfuscator2

    finally, a rich white conservative is the rnc chairman.

    all is right with the world.

    • Sophist FCD

      It's been a long time coming, but I know a change gon' come…

  • http://we.come-to-pottersville2.blogspot.com cmputrwizard

    I think the actual spelling is "Prince Priapus."

    Which makes a lot of sense if you think about the crowd he's leading.

    Suzan

  • Negropolis

    Needs moar gunz (and Wisconsin cowbell).

    • horsedreamer_1

      I'd settle for a Loewen & Navarro* performance at the investiture.

      *BoDeans side-project, I think. You know, though, the BoDeans; that band that did the theme to FOX evening soap Party of Five, or, where we first saw Jennifer Love Hewett's tig ol' bitties.

  • Negropolis

    "That was nice of thooose fooolks to say that stuff."

    Folksy accented affectation? Check! Unspecific uncountable nouns? Check! Aww shucks, y'all; isn't he just disarmingly and bewilderingly befuddled? Keep dragging out that Upper Midwestern "o", Reince. Drag it too far, though, and you might just tip over.

    Mikey Steele, we're going to miss you. But, boy! This Reince Toyota Priebus guy is the next best thing if I ever saw one.

    BTW, Wisconsin; WTF, man?! You used to be so cool before you went all Ohio/Florida on us.

    • OneTrueLiberal

      Negropolis, My Dear Boy (if you will pardon that appellation):

      Franklin and I could not agree more with your post. Thank Marx (Karl, not Groucho) that TrueLiberals such as ourselves only use the most refined, Mid-Atlantic Drawl, rather than the Suckin' & Jiving, Inner-City Ghettoese Street Patois that mars the speech of anyone less liberal and hip than we.

      In fact, nothing says "Useless Human Waste, Fit For Powder" than an inability to speak in the soft, cultured New England tones that Franklin acquired in prep school.

      Cordially,

      Eleanor

      • Negropolis

        Eleanor, you forget yourself! You were a champion of the poorest of the poor, an indefatigable warrior for race and gender equality, who'd never be heard speaking ill of the urban poor.

        Someone arrest this imposter; it is impersonating (poorly) the most postively influential First Lady in the history of the United States.

        • problemwithcaring

          Remember the call for empathy, NP. Neilist finally gets to engage in his fantasy of getting fucked orally by a man of the liberal persuasion, all while trolling Wonkette. This is the best that useless lonely men can hope for in their old age – a place to live out their sex fetishes online. Don't take it away from him.

          • Negropolis

            You're right. It's just too bad he was the first to respond to one of my better thought out posts? :( It's like someone crappy in a freshly cleaned toilet.

  • MiniMencken

    Sounds like a Star Wars character to me. You know, inside a death star, a session of the Imperial court: herald announces, "Now comes before the Emperor Palpatine, Reince Priebus."

    • Negropolis

      It does sound like the name of a Sith lord, dunnit?

    • http://www.wonkette.com Salacious Crumb

      Wait, isn't he the guy Darth Vader chokes the shit outta in New Hope?

  • Negropolis

    Reince Priebus? Sounds like the chief spawn of Cthulhu.

    I keep reading it "Prince Reebus."

  • usernameguy

    Rincewind here has already "accidentally" called for the execution of Obama — I'm sorry, Osama — three times in a single interview, because Obama has that goofy-sounding name.

    • horsedreamer_1

      Reince might not be in favour of second amendment remedies — I'll have to check with that weasel from PolitiFact Wisconsin, Greg Borowski, to make sure I'm not "pants on fire" before I make the allegation — but being from Kenosha, I'm sure Ol' Feebz wouldn't be against a hit-job.

      Ralph Capone in the house, oh, yeah!

  • mayor_quimby

    Paul Ryan looks like somebody I just can't place, I'm leaning towards Presbo from The Wire, does that seem about right?

    • Negropolis

      Strange, his face seems so familiar, but I can't place it either. Besides that, though, he reminds me of a sleazy lawyer.

  • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

    Yup. Gay.

    • horsedreamer_1

      His wife won't be surprised to find out.

      "Oh, honey, you want to do anal, again? We've done practically every nite for six years consecutive, now. But, alright", she said, last nite.

      (Of course, being a Republican, she's prolly into it, & uses it in her dirty-talk when she's getting shtupped proper — in the vagi, I mean — by the pool-boy.)

      • Negropolis

        Too. Much. Imagery.

        To imagine that pasty, doughy, amorphously-shapped, five-headed motherfucker doing anything without articles of clothing disgusts me. So, I'll just think about his wife, who in my mind will be played by actress Katey Sagal as Peggy Bundy.

  • lochnessmonster

    Surprised they didn't vote in one of the token women…but he is male and white.h

  • sedan

    Darn.

    Now I need a new avatar.

  • coozledad

    Montz Pubis

  • giuseppepatch

    My wife's first reaction was, "I didn't know Republicans were such big Harry Potter fans."

  • XOhioan

    He got the job cause he can say "Ham biscuits" just right.

  • Trinket

    That guy is a bigger goober than Ben Quayle, even. I am slightly less heartbroken about losing Michael Steele.

  • JoeMansion

    Is it just me, or do the names Reince Priebus and Rush Limbaugh sound like something George Lucas came up with while huffing VapoRub?

  • chimpinatophat

    I met the guy once at a Madison political thing (fellow Wisconsinite). The thing about Reince Priebus is that as soon as you meet him you cannot imagine him being named anything but Reince Priebus. He fills a reince-shaped void in the priebus. I don't know how else to explain it.

    Also, he is a gigantic asshole, but that's only to be expected.

  • TopLib

    If the best we can do is make fun of a man's name we are all doomed.

  • SaintRond

    Okay, I watched this latest perv boy vomited forth by the GOP and sure enough, he's got his own singularly weird ass thing going on that jumps right out of the little video capture that Wonkette has been so gracious in bringing us. I couldn't put my finger on what it was immediately, but then I got it.

    This little cocksucker freak wiggles and bobs his head continuously in slow motion, like someone secretly wearing a sexual device under their clothes. I wouldn't be the least surprised either if that were the case.

  • mourningnmerica

    The obvious conclusion here is that he was elected because his name rhymes exactly with "Finds Jeebus".
    Again, perhaps a Danny Kaye connection here as well. "The Preibus loves some Jeebus and a penis in the anus."
    .

  • x111e7thst

    So Reince Priebus is not a fungal infection you get from too much time kneeling on dirty restroom floors?

  • slithytoves

    Can't wait!!

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  • horsedreamer_1

    Not particularly Ol' Queen Reincelaus related, but reading the flagship Sunday paper of his state, I caught an article on the new buzzwords in DC, following the Republican take-over of the house. There, I saw these words, from Frank Luntz, under the sub-head Job-killing (no variation, multiple-uses):

    Republicans recently introduced the "Repealing the Job-killing Health Care Law Act". The 300-word bill uses the phrase "job-killing" four times. Boehner used it seven times in the course of a brief news conference. "That's what the health-care law now is, that's what immigration now is. If they run out of Diet Coke in the dining-room, it'll be a job-killing mistake", Luntz said.

    In other words, it means nothing. Just more inflammatory non-sense to incite further Teabagging backlash at the polls. & I thought we were becoming more "civil", &, more importantly, "adult". (The second being another GOP buzzword, just as it was when George W. Bush assumed the presidency from Bill Clinton ("the grown-ups are back in charge").)

    • OneDollarJuana

      Well, if there's anything the Republicans know how to do, it's kill jobs.

  • LookASheep

    Reinse Priebus:
    Wash, dry, and fold.
    Boehner, white shorts, driving off the first tee.
    Out damned spot.
    More Zout.

    Repeat.

  • Sophist FCD

    Something oppressive,
    Something regressive,
    Something for everyone:
    The GOP tonight!

    Something for donors,
    Something for Boehners,
    Something for everyone:
    The GOP tonight!

    Bring on the booze, bring on the whores;
    Nothing for muzzies, unions or poors!
    This time it all turns out far right!
    Tragedy tomorrow,
    GOP tonight!

  • blowharder

    How could they elect a guy with just 5 guns?
    http://www.examiner.com/rnc-in-washington-dc/how-

  • UnstableRedhead

    At least with Steele out, all teh blax are cleansed from the GOP in one fell swoop. ("oh good, now we can talk about them without having to call them 'French Canadians'.")
    Time to give another self-hating minority the chance at being Cinderella.

  • Mindblank

    There is no way someone with that name is American. BIRTH CERTIFICATE!

  • GregComlish

    For to us a Chairman is born this day,
    and his name shall be called
    Wonder Bullshitter, Mighty Hack,
    Everlasting Reagan, Prince of Priebus.

  • easynewz

    "He has a wife, you know. Do you know what she's called? She's called… Incontinentia. Incontinentia Buttocks."

  • Selfish_T

    But what's his favorite bar?

  • politics_nerd

    Obviously a fake name. Anybody else get the feeling you are reading the Onion when perusing normal -even w'ette- news items?

  • zhubajie

    Reince Priebus: sounds like a treatment for an embarrassing disease!

  • Ducksworthy

    Jack, I know its late but I thought it was important to inform you that Reince Priebus is the latin term for a prolapsed rectum.