Something Called a ‘Reince Priebus’ Is Your New RNC Chair

by Jack Stuef

A comedy, tonight?The Republican National Committee has voted for change: It has voted for people making fun of their chairman’s name. On the 864th ballot, which was sponsored by a Lockheed Martin jet, the RNC finally selected Wisconsin Republican Party chair Reince Priebus as its new chairman. His claim to fame is defeating Russ Feingold and winning the governorship of his state this past year, though he kindly let guys named Ron Johnson and Scott Walker take those jobs after the election. And here’s a fun game: try to say his name one time fast. Yeah. Impossible. He has a funny name. Which is just what they said about a guy named Barack Obama. (Priebus is secretly Kenyan, is what we’re saying.)

We are going to force you to watch his campaign video for a few seconds at the 1:55 point:

That was niiiice of those foooolks.

HE IS A TOUR DE FORCE.

“I’m not running for chairman because I think I’m better than anyone,” he says. So he’ll be worse than Michael Steele? Hooray!

Anyway, out of jealousy that this guy has two weird, hard-to-pronounce names, your editor is changing his to “Freunt Stuef.”

This guy’s name sounds like the name of a tart filling you order at a bakery in Europe and immediately spit out because it’s disgusting. It sounds like the scientific name for a small, forest-dwelling mammal. It sounds like the three-quarters of beers you can’t order at a good bar.

Here are some Twitter jokes.

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 273 comments }

SorosBot January 14, 2011 at 6:10 pm

Wasn't Reince Priebus a Harry Potter character?

gef05 January 14, 2011 at 6:22 pm

Yes, yes he was. He had sex with Professor Dumbledore, on a unicorn, right before the scandalous scene involving Hermione and a pat of butter..

LionelHutzEsq January 14, 2011 at 6:35 pm

Please forward said scene with Hermione or be subject to the Crucio curse!!!

gef05 January 14, 2011 at 6:46 pm

When I say "Hermione" I do, of course, mean "Ron."

Beowoof January 14, 2011 at 9:57 pm

And make sure it is in HD.

Rarian Rakista January 15, 2011 at 12:25 am

I bet she can use a whole stick now.

DonnyKerabotsos January 14, 2011 at 6:26 pm

a hybrid car, obviously…Limbaugh will be furious…

PsycWench January 14, 2011 at 9:40 pm

One of the minor Death Eaters.

Walkinwiddaking January 14, 2011 at 10:21 pm

Nah, I'm pretty sure that's the Latin term for cunt.

Sophist FCD January 14, 2011 at 11:14 pm

Actually, it sounds more like a character from one of the Star Wars prequels. You know, after Lucas ran out of good names and started coming up with them by pulling Scrabble tiles out of a hat.

Negropolis January 15, 2011 at 2:17 am

Did someone say Jar Jar Binks?

Wadisay January 15, 2011 at 4:29 pm

You're thinking of Bezu Feche, duh.

Troubledog January 14, 2011 at 6:11 pm

Wait until you read his novel, The Rural Juror

johnnymeatworth January 14, 2011 at 6:21 pm

and the sequel, "Urban Fervor…."

Jerri January 14, 2011 at 6:12 pm

"Reince Priebus" sounds like an olde legale terme for the consequences of a sex act. "Your honor, Goode Withers was found in ye olde slop trough in Farmer Jackobes' barn committing an an unholy act with the stablehand! The good people demand Reince Priebus!"

Rarian Rakista January 15, 2011 at 12:27 am

You want him to be gay married, sounds fine to me. If an RNC chairman gets gay married while in office I think the whole world gets a free taco.

LetUsBray January 15, 2011 at 7:03 pm

Oh, like in Aristophanes' play "The Wasps", where he claimed the penalty for adultery was to get buttsecksed with a giant radish: A "Reince Priebus".

cheaphits January 15, 2011 at 11:14 pm

Actually, I'm pretty sure it's Latin for Rent Boy.

chickensmack January 16, 2011 at 4:15 pm

Death by reince priebus!

Negropolis January 16, 2011 at 9:35 pm

Sounds painful, but oddly squishy and disappointing, like being sponged to death, which is like waterboarding, but it takes days on end.

chickensmack January 17, 2011 at 1:39 pm

You're close.

The old joke referred to two British explorers caught wandering in the darkest African jungle by a native tribe that offered them their liberty after "unga bunga." Neither of them knowing what that meant, the first captive explorer agreed. He was then sodomized repeatedly by the tribesmen.

The second stiffupperlipper suggested he'd rather endure death than to be ravaged by savages. The chieftain then declared: "So be it. DEATH — BY UNGA BUNGA!"

metamarcisf January 14, 2011 at 6:13 pm

Where's the birth certificate?

Come here a minute January 14, 2011 at 7:04 pm

LONG FORM PLEASE!

Mahousu January 14, 2011 at 7:10 pm

It had a couple of typos in it, so they sent it back.

Jukesgrrl January 14, 2011 at 9:51 pm

And it better be from a state we've heard of. Not some pretend state like "New" Mexico.

metamarcisf January 14, 2011 at 9:58 pm

As a citizen of the pretend state of New Mexico, I represent that remark!

Negropolis January 15, 2011 at 2:19 am

There's a new Mexico?

OneDollarJuana January 15, 2011 at 11:32 am

It's where such things as Mexi-Fries and Enchiritos come from.

Negropolis January 15, 2011 at 10:06 pm

Gawd, take it back, then.

Tex-Mex, BTW, is the world of both worlds if you ask me.

Terry January 14, 2011 at 10:15 pm

Is he the son of a bachelor Norweigan farmer tribesman?

EdFlintstone January 14, 2011 at 6:13 pm

How many MPG does it get?

Gleem_McShineys January 14, 2011 at 7:23 pm

Unclear.
But most importantly, esp. to the RNC, it does not have any NRG.

Sparky_McGruff January 14, 2011 at 10:13 pm

You may laugh, because it looks stupid… But there are a lot of young boys that have lost their virginity in the back of a Reince Preibus.

Negropolis January 15, 2011 at 2:19 am

FTW

transfatz January 15, 2011 at 6:02 am

It runs on cheese.

Janinthepan January 14, 2011 at 6:14 pm

There was a great segment on Colbert about "The Reince Priebus". http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-v

forgracie January 14, 2011 at 9:41 pm

Your avatar! Actually, that movie should have been called "The Head that Wouldn't Shut Up." Like Palin.

Janinthepan January 14, 2011 at 10:08 pm

It would only be "The Head that Wouldn't Shut Up" at the very end of the movie. The beginning credits would title it "The Brain that Wouldn't Shut Up".

Gay Mexican Intern January 16, 2011 at 1:45 pm

That was fucking classic Colbert. I just about ruined my laptop with nose-borne coffee.

I regret I have but one upfist to give you for that link.

natoslug January 14, 2011 at 6:15 pm

Now there's a person who would've been bullied even if he was home-schooled. How long until his Top goes public?

Janinthepan January 14, 2011 at 11:03 pm

I want to hand him books just so I can dump them.

Negropolis January 15, 2011 at 2:20 am

Awww, boooy! Shit just got real.

macvalentine January 14, 2011 at 6:15 pm

Finally, a white guy with a name I can't pronounce that I can really get behind. Yes, I meant that in a dirty way.

Crank_Tango January 14, 2011 at 6:16 pm

prince riebus, where are the fucking jobs? and why have you not yet killed the healthcare I don't have?

SorosBot January 14, 2011 at 6:16 pm

What's his favorite bar?

PalinPussyPower January 14, 2011 at 6:34 pm

His kitchen table. Oh, you were asking about bar? http://www.mickys.com/

LionelHutzEsq January 14, 2011 at 7:12 pm

Anyone where you don't have to read.

SecretMuslin January 14, 2011 at 7:14 pm

Oh, all of 'em!

genxr January 14, 2011 at 7:50 pm

The Warren Piece, just off 6th Street.

DangerHelvetica January 14, 2011 at 9:15 pm
Rarian Rakista January 15, 2011 at 12:30 am

Stephen Colbert is not funny because random white chicks get raped, what does that article mean?

Beowoof January 14, 2011 at 10:02 pm

Oh come on he is a republican, it has to be a gay bar.

Rarian Rakista January 15, 2011 at 12:31 am

If he is a Catholic he can just go to church.

Terry January 14, 2011 at 10:16 pm

All of them

umm_huh January 15, 2011 at 4:10 am

Crime and Punishment. "I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them, Sam I Am."

Come here a minute January 15, 2011 at 7:53 am

Ronald Reagan

SexySmurf January 14, 2011 at 6:16 pm

This is off his meager Wikipedia page:

"He also has a dog named Sam. His favorite flavor of ice cream is chocolate chip."

If I was Obama, I'd just resign now.

SorosBot January 14, 2011 at 6:20 pm

A dog named Sam? Great, the dog's probably telling Reince's neighbor to go out and kill people for Satan.

ClownCrusade January 14, 2011 at 6:32 pm

No way! I have a friend named Sam whose dog is named Reince Priebus!

zhubajie January 14, 2011 at 8:42 pm

Any photos with stupid dog?

Beowoof January 14, 2011 at 10:03 pm

Sure they are in Man on Dog, Bestiality Weekly.

SayItWithWookies January 14, 2011 at 6:17 pm

I think Reince Priebus is Norwegian for "evil babyhead."

SecretMuslin January 14, 2011 at 7:17 pm

I thought it was Tagalog for gangrenous foreskin.

Gleem_McShineys January 14, 2011 at 7:25 pm

Really?! Then I have totally been using the wrong word for "prolapsed anus"

Amaravilha January 14, 2011 at 6:17 pm

This is a victory for middle-aged rich white assholes everywhere. And John McCain.

natoslug January 14, 2011 at 6:17 pm

And thanks (or in other words, fuck you!) for making me laugh with Dave Weigel.

BeWoot January 14, 2011 at 11:15 pm

Weigel has been truly liberated by his firing from WaPo. He's lotsa fun these days.

PalinPussyPower January 14, 2011 at 6:18 pm

At least this one's not a negro.

What? Don't act like you're not relieved.

LionelHutzEsq January 14, 2011 at 7:12 pm

Please. The correct term is Nrg.

Salacious Crumb January 14, 2011 at 9:45 pm

hardly, hardly Urban.

Jukesgrrl January 14, 2011 at 9:57 pm

You're not supposed to say "a negro." You're supposed to say "very, very urban." Dipshit.

edgydrifter January 14, 2011 at 6:19 pm

Son of Vruehl and Ceccoc Priebus.

GuanoFaucet January 14, 2011 at 6:19 pm

Well, at least he didn't accuse anyone of blood libel. Yet.

Beowoof January 14, 2011 at 10:04 pm

Wait for his acceptance speech.

tbogg January 14, 2011 at 6:19 pm

So, wait, they went gay (Mehlman), Island-Mexican (Martinez), black guy (Steele) and now they're back to gay again?

I thought once you go black you never go back.

Negropolis January 15, 2011 at 2:26 am

Gay is the new black, I guess.

bflrtsplk January 16, 2011 at 6:28 pm

So that would make black the new gay, then?

Negropolis January 16, 2011 at 9:34 pm

Yeah, when one moves up, everyone else goes down a notch.

XOhioan January 15, 2011 at 12:48 pm

I was gonna say, they need a neck brace to keep Miss Thang from doing those sassy head wiggles.

gurukalehuru January 15, 2011 at 1:49 pm

Once you go gay, it never goes away

bflrtsplk January 14, 2011 at 6:19 pm

That one time I had a Reince Priebus and I had to go into emergency surgery to have it removed? Man, it hurt like hell and had to stop drinkin' fer six months. Not again!

Cicada January 14, 2011 at 6:19 pm

Priapism.

ClownCrusade January 14, 2011 at 6:21 pm

Prince Rebus?

Oh, I see, Wikipedia clears this all up: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rebus

JustPixelz January 14, 2011 at 6:21 pm

If only Michael Steele had won more Congressional seats on his watch, he'd still be top dog in the Repubican Party.

Negropolis January 15, 2011 at 2:28 am

Mikey would have had to win every seat in both houses and every governorship in the country to get them to forgive him his black skin.

PubOption January 17, 2011 at 10:13 am

No, that's the Boston Terrier.

macvalentine January 14, 2011 at 6:23 pm

He looks like he has the potential to be a sassy, flamboyant Olympic ice skating champion.

Terry January 14, 2011 at 10:18 pm

With a wide stance?

Rarian Rakista January 15, 2011 at 12:34 am

That man no longer can fart, the only way other people would know if a fart was coming would be if he jammed a whistle up there.

WhatTheHeck January 14, 2011 at 6:27 pm

I think he’s a Preince of a guy, but those are some of the whitest Kenyans I ever did see.

mindo99 January 14, 2011 at 6:28 pm

He sounds like that old Martin Short character Ed Grimley. "That was nice of those folks, if I do say so myself!"

ClownCrusade January 14, 2011 at 6:29 pm

Prince Rebus?

Oh, I see, Wikipedia clears it all up: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rebus

Troubledog January 14, 2011 at 6:30 pm

This guy is super boring. He will never say anything funny in his whole life.

And now for something completely different. Oblivious Texting Girl Apparently Unhurt Following Mall Fountain Accident

Crank_Tango January 14, 2011 at 6:56 pm

Vitriol.

finallyhappy January 14, 2011 at 7:27 pm

People jaywalk across major streets here in the DC area (at least Georgia and Colesville) while texting- I guess a video of me hitting one of them wouldn't be very funny- or how about if I was going really slow?

Rarian Rakista January 15, 2011 at 12:35 am

I had a freshman walk into me on the stairs today on campus. He got angry so I gave him the grad school crazy eyes and he ran away.

Janinthepan January 15, 2011 at 12:14 pm

He got angry? I tell ya these kids nowadays….

Monsieur_Grumpe January 14, 2011 at 6:30 pm

Sounds like one of them foreigners. Sounds gay too. Reptile eyes. I bet he's got a MOM tattoo on his ass. Yup, he's RNC material.

memzilla January 14, 2011 at 6:31 pm

Among the anagrams for "Reince Priebus" are: Beer Incurs Pie, Pubic Sneer Ire, Eerie Crib Puns, Crisp Bee Urine, Be Precise Ruin, and I Be Pruriences.

Katydid January 14, 2011 at 6:45 pm

From now on, he'll always be "Crisp Bee Urine" to me.

thebeatgoeson08 January 16, 2011 at 4:05 pm

my personal favorite, also!

_MISS_T_ January 14, 2011 at 8:37 pm

Also: Brie Penis Cure*

*can't take credit – Colbert

MinAgain January 14, 2011 at 6:34 pm

I guess it's true what they say…a black man has to work twice as hard and have twice as much success to get half as much credit.

Lascauxcaveman January 14, 2011 at 7:10 pm

That would mean they count as 1/4. Wrong! The Constitution says they count as 3/5!

OneDollarJuana January 15, 2011 at 11:45 am

Let's see. Um, that's 2 (as hard) * 2 (as much) * 3/5 (of a white man) * 1/2 (as much credit) = 1.2! He still did better than parity, so why didn't he win the reelection?

bumfug January 14, 2011 at 6:36 pm

Blather, Reince, Repeat.

gef05 January 14, 2011 at 7:08 pm

A+++ WOULD READ AGAIN

Oblios_Cap January 15, 2011 at 9:31 am

Damn! Beat me to it.

LionelHutzEsq January 14, 2011 at 6:37 pm

Is he still married to Zsa Zsa, and was it ever proven that he didn't father Anna Nichole's baby?

Crank_Tango January 14, 2011 at 6:48 pm

he put superglue in his eye recently, fwiw.

LionelHutzEsq January 14, 2011 at 7:14 pm

Hell, he seems more qualified than most to be GOP chair. What is his stance on young boys? In particular: Is it wide?

LetUsBray January 15, 2011 at 7:15 pm

His stance on young boys? Like most in the GOP, squarely behind.

WordSaladNation January 14, 2011 at 6:38 pm

His speech pattern reminds me of Victoria Jackson's.

(Also, I own that exact necktie. DAMMIT.)

GuanoFaucet January 14, 2011 at 6:38 pm

What's his stand on child labor laws?

Beowoof January 14, 2011 at 10:06 pm

Put the bastards to work and quit taking all our money for education.

Terry January 14, 2011 at 10:20 pm

Ever read Oliver Twist?

OneDollarJuana January 15, 2011 at 11:46 am

He thinks it should be the law that you stand on laboring children.

StillGoinGreen January 14, 2011 at 6:39 pm

How odd, Reince Priebus is exactly what I now call that spot previously known as my taint.

usernameguy January 14, 2011 at 6:40 pm

This is what happens when you name your kid while playing Scrabble.

OneYieldRegular January 14, 2011 at 6:40 pm

No one's yet answered my prior inquiry into the correct pronunciation of his name, so I'm just going to have to go with "Reyoncé"

emmelemm January 14, 2011 at 7:23 pm

Thank you for that. Me like!

finallyhappy January 14, 2011 at 7:28 pm

If you like it, then you have to put a ring on it.

Terry January 14, 2011 at 10:21 pm

I'm going with Rinse Pre-bus. Sounds like high school hygiene advice.

Patty_Cakes January 14, 2011 at 10:35 pm

I think it rhymes with Bigus Dickus.

He has a wife, you know. Incontinentia Buttocks.

gef05 January 14, 2011 at 6:41 pm

The Republicans have a lot of gall to play games with the name "Barack Obama" when they've got this guy waiting in the wings.

Oh but wait, one sounds black.

Sophist FCD January 14, 2011 at 11:31 pm

I don't know, his name is so far off the white end of the spectrum that it might actually warp back around onto the black end. I could totally believe that Reince Priebus was a tight-end for the Raiders, for instance.

HolyMaracas January 14, 2011 at 6:42 pm

Sounds like a Dr.Seuss wingunt character that rhymes with Jeebus.

Katydid January 14, 2011 at 6:44 pm

He sounds and looks like a tard. Oh, what, like you weren't thinking it.

Radiotherapy January 14, 2011 at 6:55 pm

C'mon Katydid, civility, please.

Actually thanks for the visual as I can't watch the video.

Beowoof January 14, 2011 at 10:10 pm

I have not been able to watch the video my gag reflex is too sensitive. Thanks for pointing out what I had kind of figured to be the case.

snoopyfan2010 January 14, 2011 at 6:45 pm

If the video is true, he is the evil beast that we have to thank for the election of so many Repubs.

Troubledog January 14, 2011 at 6:47 pm

Reince Priebus and Erick Erickson anchor opposite ends of the Creativity In Baby Naming bell curve.

SecretMuslin January 14, 2011 at 7:16 pm

Anchor babies!

Troubledog January 14, 2011 at 10:45 pm

As the prophecy hath foretold.

Rotundo_ January 14, 2011 at 6:47 pm

Looks like he just fell out of the Young Republican Bang Bus.

weejee January 14, 2011 at 6:48 pm

Does Cheeseheadlandia's esteemed former Junior Senator Joe McCarthy know that Wisconsin has "TURNED RED." (0:05)

Sweet Jeebus frincking Cheetos, old Joe must be spinning in his grave at the thought that Wisconsin Rethugs were celebrating that his beloved state turned red.

EdFlintstone January 14, 2011 at 6:50 pm

Will he offend the constitution? Dustbowl–that performance of your new Governor had to make you OK democrats laugh your ass off.

DustBowlBlues January 14, 2011 at 9:37 pm

What? What did I miss while I was at True Grit? (Which I immediately recognized as not the Winding Stair Mountains, btw. Just in case the Coens are reading.)

EdFlintstone January 15, 2011 at 2:14 pm

Check out her swearing in, just google it with offend the constitution.

Radiotherapy January 14, 2011 at 6:50 pm

Rhymes with fuckface, dick pus.

weejee January 14, 2011 at 7:02 pm

The contraction for Reince would, Reince'd, is a homophone for rancid. So using this in a sentence:

Cafe patron Waiter I have a Reince'd Priebus in my soup
Waiter So take it up with Justice Thomas at the Supreme Court

Radiotherapy January 14, 2011 at 7:19 pm

There is a troll in our soup.

Lascauxcaveman January 14, 2011 at 8:03 pm

Last time I ever eat there. I'm going to give them a scathing review on TripAdvisor.

coolhandnuke January 14, 2011 at 6:55 pm

Carson Daly's doppelganger.

Bluestatelibel January 14, 2011 at 7:08 pm

Is that a muslin name? Where's the birth certificate?

GeorgiaBurning January 14, 2011 at 7:08 pm

What a forehead. Is his birth certificate in Klingonese?

chascates January 14, 2011 at 7:08 pm

What the RNC liked best is he's not urban at all!

weejee January 14, 2011 at 7:26 pm

But with a name like that is he turban?

GodShammgod January 14, 2011 at 7:10 pm

I hope he reinces his priebus, or else his tinkle might burn.

weejee January 14, 2011 at 7:11 pm

And that would be nothing to clap about.

Jerri January 14, 2011 at 7:11 pm

Moo moo?

Flitzy January 14, 2011 at 7:13 pm

So can we start a pool about when and what type of scandal will happen for the Priebus era of the RNC?

weejee January 14, 2011 at 7:18 pm

My money's on trolls peeing on the floor of the Howz. They're sure collecting a bunch here at our Wonkette.

finallyhappy January 14, 2011 at 7:31 pm

My money is on the usual- having the wide stance while being married to a "good christian" woman, being a deacon in your church and having spoken about bringing back DADT.

Radiotherapy January 14, 2011 at 11:24 pm

My money is on it being right out of the Alinsky playbook, with Palin being the resultant victim, and blame ultimately going to the liberal media.

AutomaticPilot January 14, 2011 at 7:15 pm

Looks like a douche… so he'll be perfect for the job.

bitchincamaro2 January 14, 2011 at 7:16 pm

My money was on Freakin Doofus, but this turd will do.

Pragmatist2 January 14, 2011 at 7:20 pm

It's pronounced "Reeses Pieces"
Trust me. I'm Albanian.

Lascauxcaveman January 14, 2011 at 8:30 pm

Waitaminute, didn't the wise Vizinni say "Never trust an Albanian?"

Extemporanus January 14, 2011 at 10:02 pm

"There's no wrong way to eat a Reince Priebus!" 
 
Those hypocritical RNC closet cases may not be as dumb as we think — they just elected a chairman with a candy-ass-sounding name famous for attracting a homeless, uninsured, brown skinned, illegal alien.*
 
*(EDITORS: Howz 'bout making a photo like that of Reince "Reese's Pieces" Priebus and his long-fingered, waist-tall, extra-testicled, anchor boyfriend the dude's de facto Wonkette blog post portrait?) 

mayor_quimby January 14, 2011 at 7:30 pm

Without searching the comments above, I submit Rinces Prepuce
Booya!
EDIT: I meant Rinses Prepuce
Yes, I will spell it out, I want my P-Dollars http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/prepuce

Worthly Wokette Skum January 14, 2011 at 7:38 pm

Dear RNC,

Please remember – Rinse Priapus after the vote.

dogscantlookup January 14, 2011 at 7:39 pm

Renee Priapus?

voodooeconomics January 14, 2011 at 7:40 pm

Priebus, go to your father, Petraeus!

Must have been a long night of drinking to come up with a name like that.

Texan_Bulldog January 14, 2011 at 7:48 pm

I, for one, will miss Steele. I eagerly await his 'Brother can't get a break in the RNC" media tour next week.

zhubajie January 18, 2011 at 11:12 pm

Let him vacation permanently in Rio with a large share of their money. And make mocking podcasts!

Gleem_McShineys January 14, 2011 at 7:49 pm

Rinse Peebags

RNC, Now more scooterbound-TeaBagger-friendlier than everer!

JackObin January 14, 2011 at 7:51 pm

Reince Priebus sounds like a hybrid douchebag.

imissopus January 14, 2011 at 7:52 pm

And Steele didn't even get to bring the Republican Party into urban-suburban hip-hop settings. What a pity. Or a pitizzle, for shizzle.

genxr January 14, 2011 at 7:58 pm

On Twitter, it's spelled RNC PBS.

indecencycmdr January 14, 2011 at 8:01 pm

Remember when Bill Cosby, a few years ago, was like "C'mon, black people. Give your kids normal names. Not like D'Brickashaw". Well, well, well Mr. Cosby. The chickens have come home to roost! (um, what? sorry.)

weejee January 14, 2011 at 8:08 pm

Likely Reince'd support our current stealth troll infestation. For the exterminations we should not Delay to load logic into an old Flit mister and spray it up their Essos.

Extemporanus January 14, 2011 at 8:26 pm

Outgoing RNC chairman Michael Steele just issued the following statement in support of his newly-elected successor:

"Reiba Priebus is oba-kaybus, ba-baby! Buh-byeba nowba!"

Veritas78 January 14, 2011 at 8:33 pm

Wasn't Rience Priebus the guy that Duvalier overthrew in Haiti? You look in the Port-au-Rience phone book and they got Priebuses up the wazoo. Mebbe this guy's an albino anchor-babette or sumpin.

ifthethunderdontgetya January 14, 2011 at 8:38 pm

Reince Priebus?

Sounds like a peeance, freeance, secure Iraq .
~

PublicLuxury January 14, 2011 at 8:41 pm

What a pubic hair

zhubajie January 14, 2011 at 8:44 pm

Is he the Antichrist? Or only the prophet (profit!) of the Antichrist?

zhubajie January 14, 2011 at 8:48 pm

I still hope Steele manages to make off with RNC megabucks and then gives an interview in Brazil laughing at all the Republifools. Maybe open a chain of lesbo S&M bars.

snoopyfan2010 January 14, 2011 at 9:01 pm

A quote from TPM:
"Reince Priebus who worked at a law firm that helped clients seek stimulus funds. In 2009, Priebus’s firm, Michael Best & Friedrich LLP, created a “Stimulus Legislation Team” — of which Priebus was listed as a member — that promised clients to “identify opportunities, prepare appropriate proposals and make targeted contacts to secure funds.”
The same Priebus that said "My guess is he would believe that Obama should be executed and he oughta be treated as a war criminal." "

crybabyboehner January 14, 2011 at 9:07 pm

His parents must have wanted a girl.

WordSaladNation January 15, 2011 at 9:28 am

Didn't they get one, basically?

crybabyboehner January 15, 2011 at 1:06 pm

Fortunately for them, you are correct, !

SaintRond January 14, 2011 at 9:14 pm

Every single person in that video has the skin tone of a cartoon pig.

problemwithcaring January 15, 2011 at 10:49 am

Lots of close ups and stagnant shots of people's red necks as well. Symbolism?

Barbara_i January 14, 2011 at 9:15 pm

Someone just tweeted that if you take the vowels out of Reince Priebus you get
RNC PR BS

iburl January 14, 2011 at 9:59 pm

ReiNCe PRieBuS

That's hi-larious! There is a God!

Barrelhse January 14, 2011 at 10:43 pm

Now take the bowels out of Reince Prepuce.

Extemporanus January 15, 2011 at 6:01 am

You can take the bowels out of Reince Priebus, but you can't take Reince Priebus out of the bowels.

Barbara_i January 15, 2011 at 10:19 am

Yeah, there aint that kind of fiber known to mankind. Not even straight up wood chips.

fuflans January 14, 2011 at 9:21 pm

this is what la palin meant by 'T'.

ttommyunger January 14, 2011 at 9:25 pm

To make it easy for the 'Tards, he shall simply be known as the "RNC Chief previously known as: Fuckmeinthemouth".

Pop_Socket January 14, 2011 at 9:37 pm

He sounds like the bastard child of Rush Limbaugh and Stuart Smalley.

GodShammgod January 14, 2011 at 9:48 pm

I'm guessing he's your typical self-loathing closeted gay Catholic, since "Priebus" sounds like a cross between "priest" and "penis".

FlownOver January 14, 2011 at 9:54 pm

Remember, you can't spell "Reince Priebus" without "urine biceps."

mourningnmerica January 14, 2011 at 11:35 pm

Bwahhh!!!

OneDollarJuana January 15, 2011 at 11:52 am

Or without "ursine crib pee."

iburl January 14, 2011 at 9:57 pm

We're all gonna need a Reince Prebus (Swedish for 'Taint Douche') after seeing the J. Loughner G-string pics.

DerrickWildcat January 14, 2011 at 9:59 pm

I'm not sure if'n he's a Tea Bagger or not, but since he's from Wisconsin there's a good chance he's a Cannibal.

James Michael Curley January 14, 2011 at 10:03 pm

A red g-string? He posed wearing his freakin' Glock 19 and a red g-string?

StillGoinGreen January 15, 2011 at 1:19 am

This piece of shit has really tried my character for sure. I am a staunch opponent of the death penalty – hell, I testified for leniency on behalf of my own brother's murderer, for cripes sake. But for this fucker, I don't think I mind seeing him get the juice – and that has really been fucking with my sleep lately.

Barrelhse January 14, 2011 at 10:05 pm

And with that name, there must be a Limerick in here somewhere.

Janinthepan January 15, 2011 at 12:21 pm

There once was a repub named Reince, who rarely ever wore pants. He'd go to bars in a skirt, with the boys he would flirt, and blow them if they gave him a chance.

That's as good as I can come up with in five minutes, enjoy!

Jukesgrrl January 14, 2011 at 10:07 pm

I tried Reince Priebus at a tasting in Napa. I took a couple of bottles home, but it wasn't worth buying a whole case. Too oaky.

doxastic January 15, 2011 at 12:38 am

I reinced my priebus once. Not recommended.

Barrelhse January 14, 2011 at 10:07 pm

heh. Prepuce!

Beowoof January 14, 2011 at 10:11 pm

Reince Priebus is that Latin for swollen prostrate?

lulzmonger January 14, 2011 at 10:42 pm

Given we're talking RNC here it's redundant to say so, but: doped to the tits, a pedo, or both.

Oh man, I can actually smell the forest of fat rich old guy dicks on his breath right through my monitor … brb, Air-Wick.

Troubledog January 14, 2011 at 10:49 pm

Reince Priebus Reince unh Reince Priebus can't stop talkin bout Reince Priebus Reince Priebus Reince Priebus to tha mothafuckin Reince Priebus people lemme hearya say Reince Priebus Reince Priebus y'all fucked up about Reince Priebus Reince Priebus bitches

marinmaven January 14, 2011 at 11:14 pm

Anagrams of Reince Priebus:
Ruin Be Precise
Epic Rube Risen
Curb Eerie Spin
Ursine Crib Pee
Bruise Creep In
Be Prurience Is

His name is trying to tell us something.

His name sounds like comes from the era when people believed in Homunculi and women had no souls.

Selfish_T January 14, 2011 at 11:15 pm

Reince should've sobered up before making that video.

mourningnmerica January 14, 2011 at 11:19 pm

If you rearrange the letters in his name, it spells "miserable prick".

OneTrueLiberal January 14, 2011 at 11:26 pm

Don't Republicans have the oddest names?

"Reince Priebus"? What kind of a name is that?

Why don't they have sensible, American names like good TrueLiberal Democrats?

Hearty, Honest, American, Midwest names like, say, Kweisi Mfume? Or Chaka Fattah?

Oh, or Barack Hussein Obama?

Cordially,

Eleanor

StillGoinGreen January 15, 2011 at 1:28 am

Welcome, Eleanor, but next time you come a callin, please reince your priebus before gettin here.

Selfish_T January 15, 2011 at 4:46 pm

I don't get it.

Beowoof January 14, 2011 at 11:34 pm

By the way Jack, the Buster Keeton photo was awesome as a representation of the leader of the RNC.

KRexRoOoarR January 14, 2011 at 11:35 pm

What a pleasant surprise, I thought they'd pick a fat old white guy but, they picked the geeky bobble headed white guy instead! Seriously his head shakes more than Michael J. Fox's. I'm still REALLY going to miss Steele.

mourningnmerica January 14, 2011 at 11:37 pm

His name is also dangerously close to France Prius, the two things republicans hate most.

Sophist FCD January 14, 2011 at 11:39 pm

The Reincess and the GOPea, or, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Poorhouse

mourningnmerica January 14, 2011 at 11:41 pm

They can kiss the one armed midget vote goodbye.

cheetojeebus January 14, 2011 at 11:47 pm

Ponce Priapus

SaintRond January 15, 2011 at 12:08 am

Every time I see a new Republican, they always amaze me at how they all have some perverted quality going on that uniquely belongs to them – this guy has his too; he's a compulsive fucking wiggler. I wonder what the next freak who comes along is going to demonstrate.

Negropolis January 15, 2011 at 2:37 am

The Wiggler. I like…

eatingraoul January 15, 2011 at 12:10 am

TAFKAR——–The A—– Formerly Known As Reince ………… u fill in the blanks

eatingraoul January 15, 2011 at 12:20 am

Why did the RNC vote for the cartoon dude from Mad?

doxastic January 15, 2011 at 12:36 am

Why is Priebus doing an impression of Sara Benincasa doing an impression of Michele Bachmann?

obfuscator2 January 15, 2011 at 12:45 am

finally, a rich white conservative is the rnc chairman.

all is right with the world.

Sophist FCD January 15, 2011 at 1:37 am

It's been a long time coming, but I know a change gon' come…

cmputrwizard January 15, 2011 at 1:03 am

I think the actual spelling is "Prince Priapus."

Which makes a lot of sense if you think about the crowd he's leading.

Suzan

Negropolis January 15, 2011 at 1:55 am

Needs moar gunz (and Wisconsin cowbell).

horsedreamer_1 January 16, 2011 at 11:06 am

I'd settle for a Loewen & Navarro* performance at the investiture.

*BoDeans side-project, I think. You know, though, the BoDeans; that band that did the theme to FOX evening soap Party of Five, or, where we first saw Jennifer Love Hewett's tig ol' bitties.

Negropolis January 15, 2011 at 2:01 am

"That was nice of thooose fooolks to say that stuff."

Folksy accented affectation? Check! Unspecific uncountable nouns? Check! Aww shucks, y'all; isn't he just disarmingly and bewilderingly befuddled? Keep dragging out that Upper Midwestern "o", Reince. Drag it too far, though, and you might just tip over.

Mikey Steele, we're going to miss you. But, boy! This Reince Toyota Priebus guy is the next best thing if I ever saw one.

BTW, Wisconsin; WTF, man?! You used to be so cool before you went all Ohio/Florida on us.

OneTrueLiberal January 15, 2011 at 2:58 am

Negropolis, My Dear Boy (if you will pardon that appellation):

Franklin and I could not agree more with your post. Thank Marx (Karl, not Groucho) that TrueLiberals such as ourselves only use the most refined, Mid-Atlantic Drawl, rather than the Suckin' & Jiving, Inner-City Ghettoese Street Patois that mars the speech of anyone less liberal and hip than we.

In fact, nothing says "Useless Human Waste, Fit For Powder" than an inability to speak in the soft, cultured New England tones that Franklin acquired in prep school.

Cordially,

Eleanor

Negropolis January 15, 2011 at 3:21 am

Eleanor, you forget yourself! You were a champion of the poorest of the poor, an indefatigable warrior for race and gender equality, who'd never be heard speaking ill of the urban poor.

Someone arrest this imposter; it is impersonating (poorly) the most postively influential First Lady in the history of the United States.

problemwithcaring January 15, 2011 at 11:02 am

Remember the call for empathy, NP. Neilist finally gets to engage in his fantasy of getting fucked orally by a man of the liberal persuasion, all while trolling Wonkette. This is the best that useless lonely men can hope for in their old age – a place to live out their sex fetishes online. Don't take it away from him.

Negropolis January 15, 2011 at 10:06 pm

You're right. It's just too bad he was the first to respond to one of my better thought out posts? :( It's like someone crappy in a freshly cleaned toilet.

MiniMencken January 15, 2011 at 2:15 am

Sounds like a Star Wars character to me. You know, inside a death star, a session of the Imperial court: herald announces, "Now comes before the Emperor Palpatine, Reince Priebus."

Negropolis January 15, 2011 at 2:41 am

It does sound like the name of a Sith lord, dunnit?

Salacious Crumb January 16, 2011 at 11:20 pm

Wait, isn't he the guy Darth Vader chokes the shit outta in New Hope?

Negropolis January 15, 2011 at 2:41 am

Reince Priebus? Sounds like the chief spawn of Cthulhu.

I keep reading it "Prince Reebus."

usernameguy January 15, 2011 at 2:51 am

Rincewind here has already "accidentally" called for the execution of Obama — I'm sorry, Osama — three times in a single interview, because Obama has that goofy-sounding name.

horsedreamer_1 January 16, 2011 at 11:11 am

Reince might not be in favour of second amendment remedies — I'll have to check with that weasel from PolitiFact Wisconsin, Greg Borowski, to make sure I'm not "pants on fire" before I make the allegation — but being from Kenosha, I'm sure Ol' Feebz wouldn't be against a hit-job.

Ralph Capone in the house, oh, yeah!

mayor_quimby January 15, 2011 at 3:51 am

Paul Ryan looks like somebody I just can't place, I'm leaning towards Presbo from The Wire, does that seem about right?

Negropolis January 15, 2011 at 10:02 pm

Strange, his face seems so familiar, but I can't place it either. Besides that, though, he reminds me of a sleazy lawyer.

gurukalehuru January 15, 2011 at 6:07 am

Yup. Gay.

horsedreamer_1 January 16, 2011 at 11:13 am

His wife won't be surprised to find out.

"Oh, honey, you want to do anal, again? We've done practically every nite for six years consecutive, now. But, alright", she said, last nite.

(Of course, being a Republican, she's prolly into it, & uses it in her dirty-talk when she's getting shtupped proper — in the vagi, I mean — by the pool-boy.)

Negropolis January 16, 2011 at 9:44 pm

Too. Much. Imagery.

To imagine that pasty, doughy, amorphously-shapped, five-headed motherfucker doing anything without articles of clothing disgusts me. So, I'll just think about his wife, who in my mind will be played by actress Katey Sagal as Peggy Bundy.

lochnessmonster January 15, 2011 at 6:41 am

Surprised they didn't vote in one of the token women…but he is male and white.h

sedan January 15, 2011 at 10:31 am

Darn.

Now I need a new avatar.

coozledad January 15, 2011 at 10:39 am

Montz Pubis

giuseppepatch January 15, 2011 at 12:35 pm

My wife's first reaction was, "I didn't know Republicans were such big Harry Potter fans."

XOhioan January 15, 2011 at 12:49 pm

He got the job cause he can say "Ham biscuits" just right.

Trinket January 15, 2011 at 1:42 pm

That guy is a bigger goober than Ben Quayle, even. I am slightly less heartbroken about losing Michael Steele.

JoeMansion January 15, 2011 at 3:16 pm

Is it just me, or do the names Reince Priebus and Rush Limbaugh sound like something George Lucas came up with while huffing VapoRub?

chimpinatophat January 15, 2011 at 3:27 pm

I met the guy once at a Madison political thing (fellow Wisconsinite). The thing about Reince Priebus is that as soon as you meet him you cannot imagine him being named anything but Reince Priebus. He fills a reince-shaped void in the priebus. I don't know how else to explain it.

Also, he is a gigantic asshole, but that's only to be expected.

TopLib January 15, 2011 at 3:32 pm

If the best we can do is make fun of a man's name we are all doomed.

SaintRond January 15, 2011 at 5:06 pm

Okay, I watched this latest perv boy vomited forth by the GOP and sure enough, he's got his own singularly weird ass thing going on that jumps right out of the little video capture that Wonkette has been so gracious in bringing us. I couldn't put my finger on what it was immediately, but then I got it.

This little cocksucker freak wiggles and bobs his head continuously in slow motion, like someone secretly wearing a sexual device under their clothes. I wouldn't be the least surprised either if that were the case.

mourningnmerica January 15, 2011 at 7:18 pm

The obvious conclusion here is that he was elected because his name rhymes exactly with "Finds Jeebus".
Again, perhaps a Danny Kaye connection here as well. "The Preibus loves some Jeebus and a penis in the anus."
.

x111e7thst January 15, 2011 at 7:43 pm

So Reince Priebus is not a fungal infection you get from too much time kneeling on dirty restroom floors?

slithytoves January 15, 2011 at 7:56 pm

Can't wait!!

bikersrights January 16, 2011 at 8:46 am

At Lockheed Martin, we contract with people for profit:
http://bit.ly/cHbmqV

At Lockheed Martin, we count people for profit:
http://bit.ly/feUPNE

At Lockheed Martin, we coerce people for profit:
http://bit.ly/gk1fUE

At Lockheed Martin, we control people for profit:
http://bit.ly/dQVdT9

At Lockheed Martin, we kill people for profit:
http://bit.ly/eABhOY

At Lockheed Martin, we never forget what we're working for…
http://wp.me/p19dS3-5d

horsedreamer_1 January 16, 2011 at 11:19 am

Not particularly Ol' Queen Reincelaus related, but reading the flagship Sunday paper of his state, I caught an article on the new buzzwords in DC, following the Republican take-over of the house. There, I saw these words, from Frank Luntz, under the sub-head Job-killing (no variation, multiple-uses):

Republicans recently introduced the "Repealing the Job-killing Health Care Law Act". The 300-word bill uses the phrase "job-killing" four times. Boehner used it seven times in the course of a brief news conference. "That's what the health-care law now is, that's what immigration now is. If they run out of Diet Coke in the dining-room, it'll be a job-killing mistake", Luntz said.

In other words, it means nothing. Just more inflammatory non-sense to incite further Teabagging backlash at the polls. & I thought we were becoming more "civil", &, more importantly, "adult". (The second being another GOP buzzword, just as it was when George W. Bush assumed the presidency from Bill Clinton ("the grown-ups are back in charge").)

OneDollarJuana January 16, 2011 at 12:20 pm

Well, if there's anything the Republicans know how to do, it's kill jobs.

LookASheep January 16, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Reinse Priebus:
Wash, dry, and fold.
Boehner, white shorts, driving off the first tee.
Out damned spot.
More Zout.

Repeat.

Sophist FCD January 16, 2011 at 12:27 pm

Something oppressive,
Something regressive,
Something for everyone:
The GOP tonight!

Something for donors,
Something for Boehners,
Something for everyone:
The GOP tonight!

Bring on the booze, bring on the whores;
Nothing for muzzies, unions or poors!
This time it all turns out far right!
Tragedy tomorrow,
GOP tonight!

blowharder January 16, 2011 at 6:35 pm

How could they elect a guy with just 5 guns?
http://www.examiner.com/rnc-in-washington-dc/how-

UnstableRedhead January 17, 2011 at 7:36 am

At least with Steele out, all teh blax are cleansed from the GOP in one fell swoop. ("oh good, now we can talk about them without having to call them 'French Canadians'.")
Time to give another self-hating minority the chance at being Cinderella.

Mindblank January 17, 2011 at 8:30 am

There is no way someone with that name is American. BIRTH CERTIFICATE!

GregComlish January 17, 2011 at 10:19 am

For to us a Chairman is born this day,
and his name shall be called
Wonder Bullshitter, Mighty Hack,
Everlasting Reagan, Prince of Priebus.

easynewz January 17, 2011 at 5:03 pm

"He has a wife, you know. Do you know what she's called? She's called… Incontinentia. Incontinentia Buttocks."

Selfish_T January 17, 2011 at 11:53 pm

But what's his favorite bar?

politics_nerd January 18, 2011 at 9:58 am

Obviously a fake name. Anybody else get the feeling you are reading the Onion when perusing normal -even w'ette- news items?

zhubajie January 18, 2011 at 11:11 pm

Reince Priebus: sounds like a treatment for an embarrassing disease!

Ducksworthy January 21, 2011 at 9:51 am

Jack, I know its late but I thought it was important to inform you that Reince Priebus is the latin term for a prolapsed rectum.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: