JUMPIN' FRIED PORK TENDERLOIN SANDWICH!  10:45 am January 14, 2011

Chuck Grassley Startled By Big ‘Nrg’

by Jack Stuef

No wonder that city smells, right, Grassley?
Did everyone hear that ITC of CedrRapids had their employes? They did. Chuck Grassley was there. What else did he see? Why, a giant Nrg! You don’t come across a lot of those in Cedar Rapids, let your editor tell you. Not exactly the most diverse place.

Though Grassley is routinely criticized by teenagers for his poor use of the English language, he is politically astute. He provided a second tweet, within an hour, after realizing he said the “word” “Nrg”:

Duhhhhhh

This may be the first time in history Grassley has provided a Grassley-to-English translation for his tweets. With this Rosetta Stone, experts may one day be able to figure out the language of all his messages. [Twitter]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 131 comments }

Buzz Feedback January 14, 2011 at 10:49 am

Aren't they all "big?"

mereoblivion January 14, 2011 at 10:57 am

"They're all the same size, but the black ones last longer."
Shirley Temple to the candy-store owner when he wonders why she asked for a black candy-stick in particular. (I think the movie was Captain January but wouldn't bet on it. Right now I'm too distracted by Megan Fox's, um, necklace.)

LionelHutzEsq January 14, 2011 at 1:38 pm

It's true, it's true!

mereoblivion January 14, 2011 at 3:26 pm

Twue! (RIP Madeline K.)

LionelHutzEsq January 14, 2011 at 3:42 pm

Fifteen is my limit on schnitzenbruben.

imissopus January 14, 2011 at 8:04 pm

I am genuinely shocked that after 125 comments, no one has said "The sheriff is a nrg!"

el_donaldo January 14, 2011 at 10:51 am

Everybody please steer clear of Grassley's hindquarters. It's not clear what the threat is, but it's big and includes the letters N, R, and G.

genxr January 14, 2011 at 11:39 am

Oooh, sorry. the clue is "People who annoy you," and the correct answer is NAGGERS.

gullywompr January 14, 2011 at 9:09 pm

I think you mean "niggling".

OneDollarJuana January 14, 2011 at 12:05 pm

One letter on each cheek.

Mindblank January 14, 2011 at 10:55 am

Uh…energy? Did he fat-finger 'Erg'?

OneDollarJuana January 14, 2011 at 12:06 pm

Shoulda typed "julz".

alzronnie January 14, 2011 at 10:55 am

Nrg Big–also known as The Notorious N.R.G.

revmod January 14, 2011 at 10:55 am

I wish the editor of Huck Finn had realized this – "Energy Jim" has a nice ring to it.

horsedreamer_1 January 14, 2011 at 11:16 am

Energee Gym is the location Senator Herb Kohl provides for the Milwaukee Bucks dancers so they can train.

Rowdy5000 January 17, 2011 at 3:04 pm

Sounds like the rebranding of 4 Loko.

DeeJayKitteh January 14, 2011 at 10:56 am

They had their employees? Was it with some fava beans and a nice chianti?

jim89048 January 14, 2011 at 12:36 pm

Or at least a cigarette when they were done.

DeeJayKitteh January 14, 2011 at 12:47 pm

I wonder how many employees they had? I need to know exactly how impressed I should be.

weejee January 14, 2011 at 10:57 am

Silly Grassley, energy = erg, not nrg. The Senator looses $500 in the Wonkbot Jeopardy Phizzics category.

Good thing he didn't get dyslexic with that and go talking about his worries about a big NGR, too, also.

Tundra Grifter January 14, 2011 at 10:57 am

That was the title of the great Richard Pryor album: "NGR Must Be Crazy."

bagofmice January 14, 2011 at 12:08 pm

Just because linux hates vowels doesn't mean they're haters. fsck me.

Tundra Grifter January 14, 2011 at 12:32 pm

2 late 2 edit: "That NGR's Crazy" is the correct title. Sometimes memory doesn't serve. It double faults.

Come here a minute January 14, 2011 at 10:57 am

Is Grassley twatting about basketball again?

jodyleek January 14, 2011 at 10:57 am

Chuck's hindquarters and the Big Nrg? Sounds like a porn flik.

Mindblank January 14, 2011 at 10:57 am

All this tweeting is a sad mistake.

Tundra Grifter January 14, 2011 at 12:33 pm

Sometimes the Olds need to stay old and not try to join the Youngs.

Gunner Asch January 14, 2011 at 7:39 pm

I'm doing my part to stay with my age group. It's all I can do to answer my daughter's cell phone when I borrow it and every time I try to call out is like the first time. Who knows why all that other stuff is in there too.

mereoblivion January 14, 2011 at 10:59 am

We know you have a certain amount of contempt for your constituents, Chuck, but the least you could do is capitalize the name of your friggin' state!

Come here a minute January 14, 2011 at 11:00 am

And it's even got an abbreviation that doesn't require translation.

Troubledog January 14, 2011 at 11:00 am

How you gonna keep 'em down on the farm once they've gone NRG?

undeterredbyreality January 14, 2011 at 2:35 pm

Once you've gone NRG, you never go back.

Moonbatting Average January 14, 2011 at 11:00 am

Just so there's no further confusion…
Spc = special
Chnk = chunk
Bnr = Boehner
Mck = mock
Kyk = ??? (help me out here)

horsedreamer_1 January 14, 2011 at 11:17 am

Eric Cantor?

Tundra Grifter January 14, 2011 at 12:34 pm

Kyk = KickinIt.

natoslug January 14, 2011 at 1:33 pm

KY n' Kok. He's getting old, and chafe-y.

Jukesgrrl January 14, 2011 at 10:49 pm

kyk = those two nrg brothers who fund all the nrg wingnuts, Koch and Koch.

ManchuCandidate January 14, 2011 at 11:01 am

The Twats who say Nrg.

ttommyunger January 14, 2011 at 11:38 am

Or Ne!

Gleem_McShineys January 14, 2011 at 3:01 pm

1st u mst find nother shrbry. 2 u hv shby, u plc hr, bside n higher, 2lyr f-ect wpath nmiddle. 3 cut forst w/hrrng

imissopus January 14, 2011 at 7:57 pm

I would upfist you a thousand times for that if I could, but not in a dirty way.

Oblios_Cap January 14, 2011 at 11:03 am

NRG with an Attitude? In Cedar Rapids?

DeeJayKitteh January 14, 2011 at 12:04 pm

I think he's on to something — this can be his new theme song.

NRGs with an attitude. Constituents who are in the mood. C'mon don't just stand there, let's get to it. Strike a pose, there's nothing to it. GRASSLEY!

CapeClod January 14, 2011 at 11:04 am

ITC=Idiot's Twitter Communications

SorosBot January 14, 2011 at 11:05 am

Uh, Chuck, Energy does not = Nrg; it =mc^2

genxr January 14, 2011 at 8:06 pm

That's exactly the kind of thinking that leads to communism! I read it on conservapedia.

EatsBabyDingos January 14, 2011 at 11:06 am

I'm from Cedar Rapids (well, Marion, the "Manassas Park of the West")

"ITC" is really "IBTC," which is really the "Itty Bitty Titty Committee." And it is their "hindquarters" that were getting all the "NRG" from their employes also, too.

bagofmice January 14, 2011 at 12:10 pm

I am intrigued by your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

freakishlywrong January 14, 2011 at 11:07 am

Jsus H. tity fukng chrst.

magic_titty January 14, 2011 at 11:07 am

So it should read, "Lots of issues energy big", correct?

Makes sense now.

natoslug January 14, 2011 at 1:34 pm

Chuck needs to quit bragging about scoring all that 4 Loko.

widestanceroman January 14, 2011 at 11:08 am

So he's trying to say that NGR really is an NRG? Had no idea he was such a PIL fan.

el_donaldo January 14, 2011 at 11:11 am

I could be wrong
I could be right
I could be black
I could be white

GuanoFaucet January 14, 2011 at 11:31 am

Anger is an energy
Anger is an energy
Anger is an energy

May the road rise with you
May the road rise with you
May the road rise with you

widestanceroman January 14, 2011 at 12:11 pm

You Wonks will dance to anything by Public. Image. Limited.

genxr January 14, 2011 at 12:06 pm

I cd b wrng
I cd b rt
I cd b blk
I cd b wt
ANGR S N NRG!

OneDollarJuana January 14, 2011 at 12:09 pm

Trying to stave of GCC (global climate change) I'm all for GRN NRG.

EatsBabyDingos January 14, 2011 at 11:09 am

"Chuck Grassley" is really an anagram for his real name, "Gassy Chuckler."

He sits in his own pew at church.

mereoblivion January 14, 2011 at 1:16 pm

Where he's known as Senator Silent But Deadly.

SecretMuslin January 14, 2011 at 1:56 pm

Dingo – You are the salvador dali of fart jokes. No matter the topic you are able to paint it into a melting, surreal fart reference. There are many here who can make the good buttsechs joke, but to have so perfectly mastered the intellegent, relevant fart joke is a real gift.

It pleases me greatly, and I am humbled by your talents.

Dances_For_Ham January 14, 2011 at 11:11 am

Whenever I see Big Energy walking down the street, I cross to the other side and clutch my purse. Eyes diverted, slightly downward with a freakish half smile / grimace on my lily white face.

Tundra Grifter January 14, 2011 at 12:35 pm

If I'm driving, I lock the doors. Obviously.

mereoblivion January 14, 2011 at 1:18 pm

If I'm feeling brave I say, "Loved you in To Kill A Mockingbird."

Gleem_McShineys January 14, 2011 at 3:16 pm

Careful, don't get your chiffarobe busted up!

doxastic January 14, 2011 at 11:14 am

For fuck's sake Chuck, just use two tweets.

LesPaultard January 14, 2011 at 11:34 am

~IA
HQ
staff
He's not very efficient with the letters.

Barrelhse January 14, 2011 at 11:14 am

Everyone knows that Energy=mc2.

LetUsBray January 14, 2011 at 11:14 am

I had a big Nrg once. But I went to the dermatologist, and he gave me this ointment that cleared it up.

Terry January 14, 2011 at 11:17 am

I can't stand texting abbreviations. Grassley is old enough to be able to write properly. Shame on him (or his intern).

OneDollarJuana January 14, 2011 at 12:13 pm

He's also old enough for his thumbs to starting hurting after about 60 characters. Hence the wait for an hour to clarify his earlier tweet. Had to wait for the Motrin to kick in.

Lascauxcaveman January 14, 2011 at 11:18 am

experts may one day be able to figure out the language of all his messages

I suppose there might come a day when they actually want to do that, but I certainly can't image it.

BZ1 January 14, 2011 at 1:18 pm

can't img it?

RedneckMuslin January 14, 2011 at 11:19 am

Oh, no he di'nt!

horsedreamer_1 January 14, 2011 at 11:19 am

Nice to see the New Rhythm & Blues Quartet (trio? (didn't Gerald Levert die, awhile ago?) has ended Soul Train's proscription of service to Iowa.

baconzgood January 14, 2011 at 11:23 am

Negro= my knee is growing. "lots of issues nrg big" is a fag-ment.

Not_So_Much January 14, 2011 at 11:23 am

Chk md doody boombm in Dpends = big.

user-of-owls January 14, 2011 at 11:27 am

Just so everyone is clear on this. I copyrighted the tag "elected ruminant" when referring to Grassley hundreds of years ago.

Thank god I had a good ju lwyr.

mereoblivion January 14, 2011 at 1:22 pm

Lawyr's clsg arg 2 jry: "Rumen abomasum, yet reticulum omasum."

SheriffRoscoe January 14, 2011 at 11:31 am

'ITC of Cedar Rapids had their employees' is the kind of thing you might hear come out of the mouth of an overweight Southern Baptist woman at a coffee klatch. Flower print cotton dress, etc. You guys get the picture?

Monsieur_Grumpe January 14, 2011 at 11:33 am

Some people just shouldn't tweet.
Chuck, put the tweetcom down.
It's for your own good.

Maman January 14, 2011 at 11:36 am

I thought Nrg was related to the British lurgy

ttommyunger January 14, 2011 at 11:40 am

So sad when a geezer tries to be cool. Believe me, I know…

MiniMencken January 14, 2011 at 2:01 pm

Word!

ttommyunger January 14, 2011 at 2:05 pm

Wheez!

genxr January 14, 2011 at 11:44 am

Throw the Ju down the well.

Ju = joules, a unit of Nrg.

horsedreamer_1 January 14, 2011 at 11:59 am

Brother of a physicist gives you a +1.

bagofmice January 14, 2011 at 12:12 pm

So my electrons can be free!

Oblios_Cap January 14, 2011 at 12:31 pm

Only if the valences match the drapes!

imissopus January 14, 2011 at 8:01 pm

First they came for the joules and I said nothing…

Wilcoxyz January 14, 2011 at 11:45 am

Yo, is that gov'mnt Chedda Rapids.

gullywompr January 14, 2011 at 11:51 am

Fucking Twitter. How does it work?

coolhandnuke January 14, 2011 at 11:52 am

Someone tweet Chuck and inform him the negroes stole his dates.

TheHigherSpread January 14, 2011 at 11:53 am

This is what they found scratched into the walls of Chuck's office, right before the walking dead came for him.

ManchuCandidate January 14, 2011 at 11:55 am

Grassly's intern had enough characters space to spell energy (only 125 or so characters) A whole 3, count'em 3 extra characters would have saved a morning's worth of ridicule.

Fucking Twitter Twats.

OneDollarJuana January 14, 2011 at 12:18 pm

Yes, but Republicans almost always are penny-wise and pound-foolish, always willing to follow ideology and habit no matter what the cost.

CalamityJames January 14, 2011 at 11:55 am

NRG in the hindquarters? Kobe's at it again.

horsedreamer_1 January 14, 2011 at 12:00 pm

Don't forget: his wife is Mexican, making their daughters… ANCHOR BABIES!

HolyMaracas January 14, 2011 at 11:57 am

Chuck's biggest "Nrg" issue right now is the one sitting in the WH.

June_Cleaver2.0 January 14, 2011 at 12:39 pm

You people have got to stop! I have been laughing my hindquarters off!

gullywompr January 14, 2011 at 12:00 pm

A Crips Libel?

Clancy_Pants January 14, 2011 at 12:02 pm

N* would require 1 less character?

genxr January 14, 2011 at 12:05 pm

Sometime in the past a group of nerds were sitting around designing what would become the Internet, saying to themselves, "We can connect the whole world!" Nobody stopped to ask, "Do you really think we should?"

MarshallBanana January 14, 2011 at 3:12 pm

Believe me, things were WAY WAY BETTER when it was difficult to use the Internet.

genxr January 14, 2011 at 3:32 pm

Indeed, I think we made it too easy to use. In the old days someone would have given this guy a series of tubes – cardboard tubes, taped together – and said, "Speak into this to broadcast your tweets." And that would have been the end of it.

SorosBot January 14, 2011 at 4:59 pm

Hey, I remember back before the internet was easy to use, and what happened when AOL made it so any idiot could get online. "Now every month is September".

bagofmice January 14, 2011 at 12:05 pm

But what about garage and dubstep?

hagajim January 14, 2011 at 12:14 pm

I'm just hoping he didn't mean NGR….that would be rather urban and inappropriate.

MinAgain January 14, 2011 at 12:20 pm

Speling iz hard.

FlyOverGirl January 14, 2011 at 12:32 pm

Once you go Nrg, you never go back.

undeterredbyreality January 14, 2011 at 2:40 pm

Beat me to it.

OneTrueLiberal January 14, 2011 at 12:33 pm

It is appalling that someone would use such an abbreviation, which apparently refers to the offensive term "Negro."

Anyone using such a term should be imprisoned immediately — save for, of course, our dear friend Negropolis.

Cordially,

Eleanor

smokefilledroommate January 14, 2011 at 12:55 pm

Man–you really love Negropolis.. If I tell you to eat shit, will you post an unfunny form letter addressed to me?

OneTrueLiberal January 14, 2011 at 11:44 pm

Is he really a "Negro"? Franklin insists that he is Greek? Because of the last name? Or perhaps Franklin is re-living experience an experience he shared with Mr. Polis in the Men's Room of the Harvard Club?

Cordially,

Eleanor

SecretMuslin January 14, 2011 at 2:02 pm

Are we sure this isn't Neilist? Perhaps one of the personalities he normally stores under the bed along with his death arsenal?

genxr January 14, 2011 at 3:34 pm

There hasn't been a detailed description of the Glock auto-loading mechanism in every post, so, no.

metamarcisf January 14, 2011 at 12:38 pm

OU812

mrblifil January 14, 2011 at 12:52 pm

Yes Chuck I'll agree: you have lots of issues.

smokefilledroommate January 14, 2011 at 12:53 pm

The Nrgs are plotting their revenge as he tweets.

Qatarded January 14, 2011 at 1:10 pm

NRG, Please!

SmutBoffin January 14, 2011 at 1:23 pm

If he had to use two tweets anyway, why couldn't he just split the message in two and express himself clearly in 280 characters?

Hengh?

mereoblivion January 14, 2011 at 1:32 pm

You just won the day by saying "express himself clearly" about a Republican senator.

LionelHutzEsq January 14, 2011 at 1:41 pm

Of course NRG = Energy. Have you ever seen a big NRG on the dance floor?

user-of-owls January 14, 2011 at 1:44 pm

Mooden Raus!

JoeHoya January 14, 2011 at 1:45 pm

Many Cedrrapidians knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Nrg this day.

MiniMencken January 14, 2011 at 2:05 pm

As an Nrg-lovin' do-good NY ju lbrl, J-Dog, u shld b ashmd of urslf for bringin' dis up!

Eve8Apples January 14, 2011 at 2:40 pm

I also began my celebration of MLK Day with a few cocktails a few days early, but at least I had the good sense to stay away from Twitter.

PublicLuxury January 14, 2011 at 3:11 pm

The death of the English Language is on his hands, aka Blood Libel.

MiniMencken January 14, 2011 at 5:04 pm

Dear Chuck:
I M 1. R U 2?
XOXO,
Z-P the PnHd

Negropolis January 15, 2011 at 12:19 am

The translation actually doesn't make any more sense than the original tweet. But, that is to be expected of Chuck "Corns-for-Brains/Children of the Korn" Grassley.

BTW, I think the correct abbr. is "the n-word".

Y-tee/YT, please.

horsedreamer_1 January 14, 2011 at 1:07 pm

As is gravity.

LionelHutzEsq January 14, 2011 at 8:09 pm

I have to admit, I just sort of assumed someone did.

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