- The 168 members of the Republican National Committee will cast their secret ballots today to decide who gets to be the next RNC Chair, and exit polls already suggest that Michael Steele lost by a million secret racial slurs. Will the white lady from Missouri win? Or maybe the white guy with the funny name? It’s difficult to say, since all of the candidates who are not Michael Steele are white and love Ronald Reagan and machine gun deregulation. It’s a win-win-win-win-Michael Steele loses! You can probably follow Michael Steele’s Adventures in Unemployment at streetguy.blogspot.com. [AP/The Hill]
- Are Italian authorities cracking down on Silvio Berlusconi’s famous drug-fueled underage hooker potlucks? Some say yes, but Berlusconi says NO, NOT MY UNDERAGE HOOKERS! [The Guardian]
- And here is a news article about sweet, sweet horse sex. Happy reading! [NYT]
{ 102 comments }
Neigh on the horse sex.
Most of us would like to see that reined in.
I myself bridled at the implication.
We won't tolerate that sort of thing furlong.
Now now, Troubledog, you're getting all horsey. Quit champing at the bit and settle down.
One might expect that story to be the mane headline of the morning.
And the punsters are jockeying for position!
The thing about horses is that even a little horse dick is pretty goddam big.
…said Michael Steele to his Republican donors. "We'll start off at a nice lesbian bondage club, first. You know, get warmed up before the big time."
Steele should take a page out of Tyson's book and bite the ears off the other contenders for the RNC crown.
I'd pay cash to see that.
There are machine gun regulations?
ZOG denies us that Jeebus-given aspect of our Constitutional rights without a "permit" from the "federal government." And you can't have intercontinental ballistic missiles, either. No wonder everybody's mad. In a truly free society such as Somalia, these rights are not infringed.
You'll have to pry the Peacemaker MX missile from my cold, dead hands!
Scud Libel.
Blessed are the piece makers.
How can he lose with such a stellar endorsment???? That Tyson guy is a class act.
Of course the other side of that shirt reads "kick me please!"
Cause thats how the steele man rolls
Also..
Steele's loss will be a tragedy for comedy.
Given the performance of the other candidates in the Tucker Carlson moderated debate, maybe not so much.
These were my exact first and second thoughts about this. Michael Steele is certainly a great loss for the Snark, but he will, after all, be succeeded by a Republican – which is the next best thing.
Looks like the bigot is out of the bag over there at the RNC and the honeymoon is over. No need to even pretend they like the coloreds anymore. I'll miss those zesty white Republican youngsters with da' dizzle pictures though.
Even if they vote for another (white) candidate, some of their best friends are black.
Today we are all underage hookers
Libunatics send out their whip hands to hunt down escaping minorities and return them to the Democrat Plantation.
Wingtards suck at portmanteau. That is all.
Total rockstars on the malapropism front, however, also, too.
Gay Recruiter shoots water rats and feeds them to his geese.
Don't know if there's a place for G.R. in between the sheets, though – the skid marks are disgusting.
You're going to have to come up with a better portmanteau than "libunatics." It doesn't flow easily off the tongue, and as a written word looks as if you just made a typo.
Also, if any minority really wishes to be part of a caucus that actively despises them, they are more than welcome to.
See it didn't take too long until, with your many name changes, you picked one that proves upfront that you're a bigot.
Also! Your view that minorities swarm like bees or fish and thus are one mass of Thing to be harvested by political parties may be a good entryway into why so few minorities are Republicans! TA DAAAAAAAA
Well, that, and Michael Steele.
shhhhhhhhhhhhh
Stick with "libtard" until you can actually come up with something better.
Rick Santorum, is that you?
half right
The all new, amazing Libunatic…..It slices! It dices! And you will never get your hands wet again!
But, but – if you fuck your mother that means you aren't gay at all.
Boring troll is boring.
"Libunatics"? Really? GTFO.
If Berlusconi ends up thrown from office, he'll end up on the Jersey Shore. I know it.
Somebody in the Italian attorney general's office, make this happen.
You mean Italy doesn't prohibit cruel and unusual punishment?
Alas, I don't even think ole Weekend at Berli's would touch Snookie with a ten-point-poll.
Black Steele in the hour of chaos.
Also, I thought he was the best of the four who rose after Superman's death at the hands of Doomsday:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/03/Joh...
The RNC needs another hip black guy with nothing to say. Alvin Green?
Zenyatta the Kentucky broodmare is being visited by Capone the teaser stallion. Is Capone an alias for Skoal Rebel?
Jebus, was there ever a more embarrassing line-up of candidates for a job? No wonder the GOP outsourced its actual management to Dick Armey and the Koch brothers.
The GOP really went down hill after Abraham Lincoln.
Go, drunk lady who can't tell "book" and "bar" apart and loved W's book but couldn't remember it's name! She should match Steele for comedy.
She has no penis, she can't be a candidate for mating with the horse.
Wait, are we talking about the same job?
The votes will be tallied according to how many guns each candidate owns. The timing couldn't be better.
And to the eminently stupid "Gay Recruiter" I accidently gave you a thumbs up, Please go back to the Washington Slimes with its Moonie mysticism and flaccid logic. You are in over your head here.
Hey! Whatever happened to civil discourse and turning down the rhetoric? The REAL victims of this tragedy, the right, are suffering just as much as if they had been shot in the brain.
And to the eminently stupid "Gay Recruiter" I accidently gave you a thumbs up, Please go back to the Washington Slimes with its Moonie mysticism and flaccid logic. You are in over your head here. Purty Please!
Much better.
Hey, GayRecruiter! I don't mind that you are here and presenting a different point-of-view, but try to be funnier.
Didn't you stop to think about how this post would effect Sarah Palin, before you made it?
Based on GOPer "reading" "habits", the winning Candidate will be "X".
My money's on the lady who heard "favorite book" and just assumed the question was "favorite bar".
With all those old white male repugs in one room, the place must smell like Depends and Stetson.
Hey. Not while I'm eating.
If the illiterate white lady wins the RNC chair, it's drinks at the kitchen table! Save me a a seat.
On the other hand, the next day in Maryland it will be more like, when Michael Steele awoke from troubled dreams one morning, he found that he had been transformed in his bed into an enormous bug. (apologies to Herman Melville)
I thought that was by James Fenimore Cooper. I am still coming out of my opium snooze and it is all so kafkaesque.
I thought it was by E.O. Wilson.
As dumb as she seems, I'd be leery of drinking at her kitchen table; she couldn't tell her refrigerator from her gun safe!
Steele's comedy stylings are going to be replaced by some boring old white guy's? I haz a sad fibble.
Berlusconi is like that Pope who killed all those people and screwed many women, only without the killing. That was when boys weren't popular or not so much. I'll think of his name in a minute.
The Borgia pope, Alexander VI?
"that Pope who killed all those people and screwed many women" describes the vast majority of Popes.
Those of us who get all our news from the Wonkette are today treated to a rather eclectic Weltanschauung.
RNC, Berlusconi and horse fuckery? I see a theme.
Mike Tyson is the new Sarah Palin.
What Mike did to pugilist in the ring in the 90's Sarah does to logic now. Sarah can KO logic in 30 seconds of the first round.
Today, we are all Michael Spinks.
Not to mention the damage to one's ears.
Other way around, with the major difference that Mike Tyson is actually half-way intelligent.
These stories should be mashed up. Something like "[Mentally] Under-aged RNC lap dancer/chairman calls cops on oddly-named white guys who are trying to ride/dry hump/fire him."
Palidino horse secks. That is so yesterday.
Poor Michael Steele. He didn't get the memo that white republicans only allow coloreds carry heavy loads. The coloreds are not intellectually capable of running anything other than cotton gins.
Poor Michael Steele. Maybe when the outh rises again someone will pick him up at 'super sale' or something.
To be a republican is to be a pig.
What race relations really needs is a good black NASCAR driver. Like the Jackie Robinson of NASCAR.
I'm not ready for that.
Make that Jackay Robinson and it's an even better idea.
Okay, here's my treatment for Untitled Chris Rock NASCAR project. The father (Samuel L Jackson), is a legendary crew chief and engineering genius with a legendary temper to match, but his son (Chris Rock) hates racing, went away to fucking MIT and became a nerd, thinks racing is uncouth, etc.
But after dad has a heart attack while ranting on national TV, the driver quits and goes to work for the rival team, and some evil white guy (Ed Asner) who is the sponsor's lawyer forecloses on dad's bullshit while he's laid up, Chris Rock has to return back to wherever the fuck these motherfuckers live and drive the motherfuckin car for the rest of the season and finish every race so the sponsors can't foreclose.
Basically if you like Happy Gilmore, you'll love Untitled Chris Rock NASCAR project.
It was all an elaborate ploy by the RNC to prove that affirmative action doesn't work.
All I know: Whipped Cream & Other Delights will be the soundtrack to that breeding. (Jerry Moss is the M to Alpert's A in A&M records. JM also owned/owns Giacomo, the 50-1 shot that won the Derby the year I attended. Should have put twenty dollars on him, I know.)
In a room over-loaded with 168 impotent fossils casting their ballots, only one consensus will be reached–not one hung chad.
Chad may not be hung, but I'm sure he's getting plenty of action in that room.
The white guy with the funny name, or the black guy with the faulty brain? Decisions, decisions.
Lather. Reince. Repeat.
Ween's Chocolate & Cheese is pretty great, too.
Why buy the cow when you can have the horse for free?
Cud libel.
Free at last, free at last…. wait, did one of you crackers say the word Negro? Step outside bitch!
Vote early, vote often, vote paleface
The RNC says "No NRGs!!!"
it was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
My favorite is when he threatened to eat Lennox Lewis' children:
Si. That is an actual quote from him.
I have it on excellent authority that Mr. Tyson was a participant in the Special Olympics as a young man. He had a team of heavyweight lawyers poised to jump on anyone who published the story, and all documentation of it disappeared from S.O. files.
Unless he has some kind of physical disability, that would have been a crime to allow this man as a participant at the Special Olympics, because as emotionally unstable as he may be (and he's emotionally unstable as all kids of fuck), the man is brilliant.
Reince Priebus? What, was Saxby Chambliss unavailable?
Hay now Wonksters, put a hoof in it.
I, for one, will not be saddled with such indignities.
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