- Here is your weekly economic forecast: John Boehner has been really constipated lately, so please stop asking when he’ll squeeze all of those new jobs out of his anus. Besides, only nerds care about job growth. What’s important is how the public perceives our failing economy. And “24% say they are hearing mostly bad news [about the economy], down 15 points from 39% in early December. The proportion saying they are hearing a mix of good and bad news has jumped from 55% last month to 68%.” Yes, some good news is mixed in with the bad news, maybe! (The good news is that banks repossessed one million homes in 2010. The bad news is that Justin Bieber might get a haircut!) Remember: You will never hear any bad news if you watch Glee all day. [Political Wire]
- Every single penny we spend in Afghanistan is flushed down the toilet. Geezus. Those aren’t Korans, they’re pennies! [McClatchy]
- Tom DeLay is a victim of political persecution? Okay, sure. [AP]
{ 78 comments }
Yeah, but then we'd be watching Glee.
I can live with the persecution of assholes.
Hopefully while he's in prison someone will persecute his asshole.
I read that as prosecution, which also is considered acceptable when dealing with assholes.
Wow, this is good and bad news indeed! I imagine that some of us will be having meat with lunch very soon or not. I know that there is a jar of applesauce that I've had my eye on for Valentine's Day (fingers crossed)
Hey, maybe now some of us can pool our money and buy the Sarah Palin autographed X-Box. You can come to my house and play it and I can make some Totino's Pizza Rolls and Dr. Pepper.
There's hope for all of us, or not. Just look at that wonderful Mexican gay guy from last night's Tucson memorial. I think that he's been exposed to enough people to admire him and now he can get some pussy.
I really wasn't paying attention to that article until you mentioned Justin Bieber….Is he seriously going to get his emo hair cut off???????
I'm not sure the nation can withstand a shock of such magnitude – not in these stressful times.
The stock market has been going up lately, so that means the economy is good to the only people who matter according to the media.
…a politically-inspired case brought by prosecutors in "the most liberal county in Texas."
I guess it's more expensive to bribe liberals.
"The most liberal county in Texas" is sort of like "the town with the most black people in North Dakota".
Or being the most honest pundit on Fox News?
"The tallest mountain in Nebraska" ?
"The most likable member of the Palin family" ?
,,or the smartest person in Alabama.
Well, certain Tom DeLay knows a thing or two about political persecution but its always been him doing the persecuting.
Maybe he could form a persecution support group with the women in the Mariana Islands he condemned to forced prostitution so he could skull-fuck another nickel out of Abramoff?
Noooooooooooooo don't do it Bieb.
Tom the Scammer Delay and Sarah Snobillie Grifter both playing the victim this week. So heart wrenching to watch them cry their I's out.
♪♫ Gonna lay my head on the railroad track, waitin' on the double E
Train don't run by here no more, poor, poor pitiful me ♫♪
Dear Mr. DeLay, ur doing it rong:
It wasn't a political prosecution; it was a blood libel.
Downtown there is street corner where a nice lady hangs out that always asks me if I want a job whenever I walk by her. I tell her no thanks I already have a job but thanks for asking. I’ve taken this as a sign that the economy is doing well.
M_G,
I blush to bring this up but it occurs to me that this nice lady on the corner isn't actually in any position to employ you. It even seems possible that she, qua herself, lacks gainful employment per se, and–finding herself in the midst of a hopefully temporary low-income scenario–is only attempting to deceive (or, as a certain class of unfortunates have a tendency to say, "con") you into parting with some of the money you earn at the job that, as you mention, you already have. Hence you may be "jumping the gun" by interpreting both her apparent friendliness and her alleged offer of employment as evidence that our nation's economy is, as a certain other class of unfortunates has a tendency to say, "on the upswing."
But all this may be the merest and most specious speculation.
Very truly yours, Concerned
So she’s operating one of those employment scams that I’ve been reading about in USA Today. Well I’ll be. Thanks mereoblivion!!!
Have you considered that maybe she finds you attractive and wants to put you "to work"? Possibly "mowing her lawn"?
OK, maybe its just me, but i read this as a hooker offering a blow job… wait, what?
I may be able to send more money home soon, as my friend Patty, has promised me a blowjob.
Poor widdle "victimized" Republicans. Hateful fucks to the end.
If only this were the end. Things gwine get a lot worse before they get worser.
Oh, I know. The whinging and haterade has already infected any good that may have come out of last night. They can't go an hour without flinging poo.
At least for once, Justice DeLayed wasn't Justice Denied.
He ain't in jail yet.
There's still plenty of time for Justice to be denied. He'll appeal on the grounds of being rich and white and be back in politics or hosting a Fox spinoff of Douching With the Stars in no time.
Just in case you're wondering, "the most liberal country in Texas" = "whatever county I was convicted in."
Also, let's face it, saying you were convicetd in "the most Liberal county in Texas" is like saying you were educated in "the most progressive madrassa in Pakistan."
"A politically-inspired case brought by prosecutors in "the most liberal county in Texas."
In which he was caught red handed and found guilty in a fair trial.
Trials are only fair if you are found innocent of bribery/money-laundering or guilty of terrorism (racial or ethnic limitations may apply).
The economy is definitely improving. I sold our second car and finally had enough money to buy new razor blades! Ahh, the luxuries of prosperity.
And next, if I can just find a job, maybe I can buy one of those repossessed houses the banks are dumping onto the market so I can do my bit to keep construction workers unemployed. For America.
Why don't you just go on Dancing with the Stars? That seems to be a good way to get money for a house.
Considering some of the shit DeLay has done, like his tireless work to prevent Congress from stopping the virtual slave labor, forced prostitution and the like in the Northern Mariana Islands, convicting him of campaign fundraising violations is like how Al Capone was convicted of tax fraud. Still, it's nice to see him get some comeuppance; and maddening that he still has no sense of shame or remorse.
Not to mention his turn on Dancing With The Stars.
That alone deserved life in prison without parole.
A crime against the arts, in the first degree.
I'm freaking out.
Have you two met? You'd make a lovely couple.
Are you guys twins?
Dunno. Both got these opposable thumbs, though.
We have nothing in common. His family devolved, while my family never evolved in the first place.
Or at the very least, a kneecapping.
But if he has that in common with Al Capone, maybe neurosyphilis will do him in, too? (Know hope.)
Did someone say twenty-four percent?
Damnit! We're running out of time!
Dear Justin,
Shave your head. It seems to be a very popular look right now.
MG
He will for his dramatic turn in Grazing Arizona (the film of the attempted assassination of Gabrielle Giffords). It will be the Biebs's 8 Mile. Featuring the hit single "Lose Yr Mind".
"Grazing Arizona" – not too soon.
♪♫ I'd rather be a hammer than a nail; ♫♪
♫♪ Yes I would, if I could, I surely would ♪♫
Don't understand why everyone's overlooking yesterday's miracle, where Hopey's touch made Rep Giffords open her eyes. Heal me, Barry!
Oh, and in yer speech last night, thanks for pointing out that the people in the Safeway parking lot were exercising their constitutional right to free assembly, and then not pointing out that Crazy Boy was exercising his constitutional right to blow every body away. Cuz that's what all the guntards were thinking.
That was a bit much, wasn't it? Maybe he's taking that "chosen one" stuff too far.
But I'm glad to see that everyone in the nation "has healed" and can get back to the important business of being dicks to each other and any hapless foreignor.
a little suspicious that the nation is all healed…just in time for American Idol. hmmmm….
That's a lot of lipstick for one pig.
As far as hearing good news about the economy; wake me when we actually start SEEING it.
Is it even possible to build something earthquake proof in that part of the world?
And why doesn't the prosecutor in the DeLay case hold a press conference and detail exactly why Tommy should shut the fuck up? When does he report to prison anyway?
Toilet? I didn't think they had toilets. I thought Afghanis shit on the ground so they rub our faces in it.
I know Delay will never see the inside of a Texas Prison, that does not bother me. He is white, has money, wealthy supporters and is politically connected in Texas. After all, this is America, we have the best political and justice system money can buy. What does bother me is that Ralph Reed and Grover Norquist were up to their sweaty little armpits in the Indian Casino Scams with Abramoff and their skirts are still as clean as Sara Palin's Alaska State time card.
I'm not happy about that, either, but they're cleverer than The Hammer. That's why you never hear anyone compared to "A box of Reeds" or "A box of Nor…oh, f*^# it.
You're right. I want justice for other miscreants, crave grace and mercy for myself.
The Bieb without his hair is like Sarah Palin without a persecution complex.
John Boehner has been really constipated lately, so please stop asking when he’ll squeeze all of those new jobs out of his anus.
Stop saying shit like that. He'll go on another crying jag.
"Every single penny we spend in Afghanistan is flushed down the toilet."
That's unfair. All that money would be wasted if we had been trying to do something like help establish a stable democracy, empower moderate Muslims to stand against al-Qaeda and work with Afghans on creating durable institutions of civil society such as free elections and rule by law, then it might be said that we are throwing money into the shitter.
But since we have no definable war aims who is to say the money is wasted?
Truly, you must memorize this, the wisest saying known to man: "If its not worth doing, its not worth doing right." It explains so much.
They used to say the same thing about Vietnam, and look at how well that turned out.
A penny saved is a penny urinal.
Bad economy talk among the regular folk I've been around is dog-whistle speak for how awful the president is. The economy is fine. The problem is distribution but that's commie talk. How long will it take people to desire freedom from business? That black helicopter hovering over your house is privately owned, moranz.
Those regular folks scream and holler about FREEDUMs, but aren't self-aware enough to know that in the place they spend most of their waking life, their workplace, they have little to none. First Amendment, nope — better not speak your mind, and listen quietly while your boss rambles on about Jebus. Second Amendment, nope — you'll get fired for a gun in the parking lot. Freedom of Assembly, not if it's to talk about work conditions. And forget about due process; you can be fired for any trumped-up reason.
All those shills on Fox News want to give corporations free reign on what they can do, to pay you the least they can get away with while denying you bathroom breaks when you need them. Only the liberals care about your freedom not to have to pee in your pants at your work station.
Its like the proverbial shit-sandwich, there is always gonna be some shit, the only thing that varies is the amount of bread.
Good news for one sector can be bad news for another. For instance, my washer, dryer, refrigerator and vacuum all puked their guts within 3 weeks of each other, just before Xmas. Great news for the appliance and vacuum industry, for me, not so much.
John Boehner has been really constipated lately
I always suspected he was full of shit.
As an economist I can say with confidence that the economy is great – if you are a publically traded company whose stock has gone through the roof while you rake in record profits because you laid a shitload of people off when the recession hit and you haven't bothered to hire anyone back because you are working the poor bastards who still have a job to death….OHHH – GOOD FOR YOU!
STOP! HAMMER TIME!
They HAD toilets in Afghanistan. Unfortunately, filling them full of pennies day in and day out totally fucked up the plumbing.
Why is no one focusing on how convicting DeLay for committing crimes is just like a Sarah Palin Holocaust. *
*We are of course assuming conservatives believe the Holocaust actually occurred for the purposes of this comment.
I heard retail sales have gone up for the sixth month in a row. Credit card debt must be a better alternative to not having the latest DVD release from the Twighlight series.
As for the photo, was we so poor at that time that the mans had to eat the pig without cooking it first? Firewood, coal and natural gas costs money yo!
But we have so little in common!
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