Yesterday, Dave Weigel noted that, while no candidates have jumped in the current presidential race thus far, at this time last cycle, 14 candidates were already in the race. “By contrast, in this election cycle, not even dark horse candidates like Herman Cain or John Bolton have announced anything yet.” Well, here they come: This Herman Cain guy has now announced the formation of his exploratory committee. Who is he? Some sort of Teabag figure/talk radio host from Georgia. But more importantly: a black guy who can stand on stage with the other candidates maybe! What does Cain say about being a longshot? “I wasn’t supposed to be able to become a vice president of Pillsbury.” Inspiring.
And also: affirmative action? We hope not!
In 2004, Cain ran for U.S. Senate in Georgia, coming in second place to then-Congressman Johnny Isakson in the Republican primary (many believe that had Cain forced a runoff, he would have defeated Isakson in a head-to-head match-up). During the campaign, Cain was criticized for having previously donated money to former Sen. Bob Kerrey of Nebraska, a Democrat.
Uh oh! Still, he’s a black guy who almost beat a white guy named Johnny for a Republican nomination in Georgia. That is worth something. Like three or four Max Cleland coward limbs.
As we noted in July, somebody called this guy “Michael Steele without the baggage.” Because without the problems he’s caused, Michael Steele is nothing but a heap of black skin to some in the Republican Party. And he provides a great black-guy booming voice for Teabagger A/V presentations.
Anything else you would like to add, exploratory committee website?
President Ronald Reagan once said:
Okay, that’s enough. [Weigel/Politics Daily/Herman Cain]
{ 271 comments }
there's a pillsbury doughboy joke somewhere in there.
Fund raising from the fundaments.
That's what they used to call him in the 'hood. Before he was VP of crescent rolls. Actually, there's a Muslin joke in there somewhere.
If you poke him in the stomach will he giggle?
Politics is a rich man's game, so it's good he's got the dough, boy.
His campaign slogan is "Poppin Fresh"
Poke this fuckhead in the belly, watch him say, "Hee hee."
I live in GA and still have to ask, who?
Built and sold Godfather Pizza. Now a rich black guy with a Clarence Thomas fixation.
Hmmmm "Godfather" pizza sounds vaguely Italian. Sure it's not a Scalia fixation?
There's a difference? Oh, right. One of them speaks.
"CAIN'S NOT ABLE: VOTE PALIN/LIBEL IN 2012!"
Do you really thing Libel will want to be on that ticket?
Libelous/Blood 2012?
Bloods/Crips 2016?
The mileage for satire in a name like that is just too deeleeiciooous. Herman Munster? Hermans Hermits? Cain Mutiny? Cain n Able (natch) Cainine teeth? Herr Man? Or how 'bout a taste of the cane (popular with GOPs in certain clubs I hear..)
Stop me if I've missed any…….
Whoa, slow down there a bit! The USA is not ready for the first American black President just yet. Let's give it a little more time.
Don't shove a black president down our throats.
Yeah, not without taking us to Red Lobster first.
It's called the "White House" for a reason.
This was inevitable, since once you go black you never go back.
I for one don't welcome our soon-to-be second black overlord.
Important questions for the candidate.
Where is your flag pin?
How many guns do you own?
How many Reagan books have you read?
How times do think of Reagan every day?
Reagan, God or Prophet? Discuss!
Who'd win in a wrestling match, Reagan or God?
Doesn't matter. Either one would lose to Ditka in the next round.
God explained in pretty clear terms how we should behave toward each other — be nice, feed the poor, greed is bad. But Repubicans who follow Reaganism do the opposite. Ergo, Reagan is more powerful than God.
No, it's a trick question. Reagan is God.
No, it's a trick question. Reagan is God.
How many Regans can dance on the head of a pin?
Favorite bar?
Have you ever tied your dog to the roof of your car?
Where is his birf certeficute? I mean, burf cirtificat? Burp certificut? Damn, it's hard to write in teabag.
And I want the long-form birth certificate, with the coupons for Jiffy Lube at the bottom, and the find-a-word puzzles on the back.
Hey wait for me, I'm running too!
Systemic racism is much more palatable when it's a black guy doing it…. and yeah I am looking at you justice Thomas.
Since when are stillsuits black!? Oh, wait…
So if he is Muad'dib, is Obama the Padishah Emperor?
Not Michael Steele, but an incredible simulation….
I feel about black Republicans like I feel about gay Republicans. You can tie a strap-on to a horse's head and call it a unicorn, but no one's gonna pay to see it.
That was really funny. On the other hand, the republican base has been paying to see that unicorn for two years…
The Japanese would.
It would star in a jporn movie!
Cursed link fail.
You obviously haven't been on Craigslist lately, have you Min?
Or Tijuana.
Is he interested in running for the Presidency or just "exploring" the President?
He'll be the first -legitimate- black president.
IOKIYAR.
legitimate or full?
But where does he stand on blood libel?
Are you sick? This man goes nowhere near bloody labia! Guttermind.
Any time I read the phrase "Blood Libel", i hear it burbled at me in a creepy robot voice now. Thanks a lot Ken.
I wasn’t supposed to be able to become a vice president of Pillsbury, but after the other 7 candidates for the VP position died after freak accidents, I won the position against all odds.
Yeah, it was sort of a "Kind Hearts and Coronets" type of situation.
Or was it as simple as every white man on the board deciding in secret to vote for him so he'd get one vote and they wouldn't all look like racists and Robert Downey Senior pulled this routine 40-plus years ago, didn't he?
Did they fall in to the Dough Kneader? Doh!
That's funny, I wasn't supposed to have sex with a tube of crescent rolls.
Well his name sounds white enough. Herman? WTF?
Yes, Herman Cain is an unusual name. Ya'd think he'd change it to something like Herman Likesit, or Herman Ishung.
I can only think of one Herman that doesn't masterbate in public… at least Mr. Munster was never caught.
Think he's a descendant of Virgil Caine? And all the people were singing na na na na na na na.
"Her Man" is his slave name; his Republican friends all call him "Mama's Boy".
I hope he can find his long-form birth certificate.
Sounds more like a Bi Curious ad.
Man, you elect one black guy president, and they all think they can run.
LOL
Okay, where was this one born?
Whoa, Wonkette actually have two previous articles on this guy; it looks like he's a token minority for the teabaggers, and was encouraged to run by Joe the Plumber. Well he's perfect then!
Sarah Palin might want to hitch her wagon to this guy. It’s her only shot at the v.p. gig now.
Ronald Reagan once said: "Someone just handed me this script, mommy. Mommy?"
From his website:
[I was born a poor black child].. successful career at the Coca-Cola Company.. quit.. moved to the Pillsbury.. achieved American Dream… wanted more… resigned.. started on another path… broiling hamburgers at Burger King … grueling experience… could have been content [but resigned]… Became CEO and President of Godfather’s Pizza.. turned the company around.. buyout of Godfather’s Pizza. The company never went bankrupt, and today, there are still hundreds of locations across the U.S.
….so you quit a lot and now head an irrelevant, Italian American bashing, fast food outlet?
Shit! you are a qualified Republican presidential candidate
So a guy whose entire career seems to be making food that kills people wants us to elect him president?
nice…well played, just one MORE Repig quitter trying to get a little fame whore attention
Is he the son of a millworker?
Seems this explorer…
has charted course…
[removes sunglasses]
on the Black Sea.
[WHO plays]
Cain/Palin 2012.
It would almost be worth them winning just to see McCain's head completely explode.
Nice. Make it easy to recycle campaign signs.
Just grab a marker and you're on your way!
They might have to adjust some gunsights too.
Palin/Cain 2012.
Cunt First!
Michael Steele without the baggage? Does the Republican party even have a position below bellhop?
Snappy!
Best post I have seen in a month.
Well, they do have a lot of luggage that needs to be carried.
Sure they do: "Shoeshine massa?"
After reading this story I now have a strong craving for cookies.
As an aside, I'd love to see the reaction to a black President that is a Republican. Really.
And here's a gun for you, and a gun for you, and you… stop crowding folks, there's plenty to go round.
You've got the start to a Saturday Night Live clip!
FUCK YEAH
And here I thought Obama was our first black Republican President.
That was Warren G. Harding!
or Lincoln
Haha! You actually wrote,"black President that is a Republican". It couldn't happen without some kind of Twilight Zone shit.
Tea Baggy Bag.
I'm a little unclear on GOP tokenism rules. So now that Cain is in, is Steele definitely out? They might split the "only a black man can defeat Obama" vote. Besides, wouldn't it screw up the white balance on all those video cameras? What about other black Republicans? What if J.C. Watts wants to run? What about Bobbie Jindal? He's not African American but he still might be excluded from some of your finer country clubs. Can there be more than one?
"There can be only one, Mcleod!" Michael Steele IS the Kurgan…
BINO.
P.K. Winsome is looking good.
I have no idea who this Cain is. But Palin would be wrong for the Presidency, maybe this guy has better values?
FUCK YEAH YOU NAILED IT
test
test
wtf wonk?
testes
sorry makemyownchoice- your my test ground for getting comments posted
According to his website, he believes in abortions for some and miniature American flags for others. Under a Cain presidency, we would always be twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!
LOL!
Then he doesn't stand a chance.
Did you forget to make that left turn just before
Albuquerqueprisonplanet.com?I'm sorry, you lost me there
Well, that was easy…
I checked out prisonplanet.com. It is certainly out there, but I bet it is making money off someone. I still do not understand your comment though. Sorry
Up Fist OC.
I'm playing my own game here posting FUCK YEAH to everything this person says. It's surprisingly entertaining.
Haley Barbour is ok with Cain just so long as he doesn't use the white drinking fountain.
Does the White House still have a servant's entrance?
Didn't Orson Welles make that Rosebud movie about this guy? You know, Citizen Herman.
His mustache beats Bolton's easily.
I dunno, his has superior reach, but Bolton's has the weight. I think it's a push.
Ergo, Cain/Bolton '12
McCain/Cain 2012!
Is that Cracker/Cookie 2012?
http://www.oddee.com/_media/imgs/articles2/a96785...
Now I have the Pointer Sisters stuck in my head. Thanks alot.
Elect Herman Munster and there will be crescent (commie) rolls for everyone.
Nonononono….CRESCENT = MUSLIN!!!!1!11
this just in – black GOPer in Arizona quits his GOP leadership post due to threats from the Tea Party: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/12/anthony-...
I'm not sure the GOP is ready for a black candidate.
Will the Tea Baggers say that they threatened him and his family because of liberal hate speech?
How will they explain that shit away? It's direct cause and effect.
C'mon, Herman; Pillsbury has a Vice President in charge of staplers, fer Chrissakes! Get over yourself.
Needs to tone it down. And I don't mean the rhetoric.
I wonder if he'd have a better chance if he rolled in some Pillsbury All Purpose Flour?
His welcome message at his website just goes down the list of what conservative voters like to hear. He just hit all the bullet points, now the conservatives will be head over heels for this guy. Man I hate how we get played for votes!
Are our Wonkettes just down clicking you just for the hell of it or did you do something to piss them off? I'm giving you an up thingy just for the hell of it, no reason to piss all over you until you give me a reason for it.
I pissed someone off somewhere. I guess I didn't make a good first impression
I think there might be a down-thumbing troll.
Are we still allowed to use the term "bullet points"?
I haven't heard any black helicopters, or seen any black Federal Agent's cars outside my house yet. Must still be OK
There are no black federal agents.
Gave you a thumbs up, but only because Hopey told us to play nicely.
On the playing for votes thing, yeah, pandering and broken promises know no party lines.
Exploratory committee? Sounds like a bunch of incompetent doctors wanting to stick the fingers in your ass to look for polyps…all at the same time.
Who's going to tell him the that Tea Party doesn't really like people of color? Anyone? Anyone?
As carlgt1 pointed out, this guy: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/12/anthony-...
I really detest racists. With all our advancement you'd think we could've moved past this by now.
you know what the scariest line in that article is?
"some people who thought that since he'd worked for McCain he wasn't conservative enough."
Mann Coulter wrote the article?
Here, you will find all of the important information necessary to keep up-to-date with my decision-making process as I continue to determine how God wants me to best serve our great nation.
Well, as long as it's what God wants …
I don't get it. If you currently lead the life that God wants, wouldn't your decision be sactioned by God? Do you have to ask him everytime you want to make a decision about something in your already Godly life????
funny how god always seems to want what he wants . . .
"Pst, Hermsy. Big G here. Wassup, bro? How's the family? Yeah, sorry, small-talk is not big with the omniscient. Anywho, look, we've-uh I've, yeah, I've decided to give Steele a few more years and so we're, I mean I'm gonna have to let you go. Hey, it wasn't you, and don't forget what we – no, I, I did for you at Pillsburry. I mean, hell, you weren't even supposed to get that – but, hey, we're getting off topic here. Look, man, it's just not gonna work. I told you 'Bring the funny or GTFO' and the funny is just not brought, brah. Kind of disrespectful, but we'll deal with that later…"
Yes indeedy doddily do! He has stepped up, and he is intent on fetching that nomination.
He forgot to be white. You really need whiteness to get ahead in the Republican Party.
Cain 2012: The Other Dark Meat
We'll see what the Pork Council has to say about that!
not even dark horse candidates like Herman Cain or John Bolton
Dark horse…oh the irony.
Cain is the dark and Bolton is the horse
That is one cheesy mustache.
This post confused me. You forgot to mention Sarah Palin or Sarah Palin or Blood libel. And you didn't once mention Sarah Palin. I'm trying to play a drinking game here, damn it and now I'll have to start from the beginning.
Also, what does Sarah Palin think about this, too? (Does that help?)
Hey, my hilarious reply disappeared! WTF?
Palin/Blood 2012!
We can only hope.
Is everyone snowed in and doing nothing but commenting on the wonket? Over a 100 responses. Okay. Here goes.
Every black person who is opportunistic enough to play the modern Uncle Tom role is going to join the Republithugs and run for something because, wtf, any dickwad black Republithug is so rare, the party always lets them win, in hopes the blackbots will be fooled into voting against themselves. Pretty soon, they'll be so common that the Republithugs won't need anymore of them and will have them sweeping up and taking out the trash.
That's how it worked for Steele in Maryland, right?
Presidential Exploratory Committee=going state to state with a notarized, long-form, live, birth certificate.
Or Palin getting Her man
Maybe she can star in a jporn epic? Old women, young men?
Hm, Roland Burris, Michael Steele, Herman Cain…irrelevant old black politicians of either party all seem to have that same insurance salesman/Missionary-Baptist-Church-deacon pompous officiousness, peppery lip-duster and white-folks'-shit-eating grin.
I would work for his campaign just to provoke outrage from Neil Young for the misuse of "Like a Hurricane." "You-alllll…vote for Herman Cain…." Maybe the Dylan song too: "Here comes the story of Herman Cain…"
Don't forget Ken Blackwell, I suspect we'll be hearing from him soon…
You all… vote for Herman Cain
Here's come… in your eye
'Cause I'm… getting blown away-y
Like a preacher by a paid rent-boy
Let's keep it quiet till I need another toy…
But one time, he could have been the President of the World….
Looks like the fat version of Jackie Chiles. OT but are we live blogging Barry's 'Can't we all get along & quit killing each other speech" tonight? I might give up a kid if I heard Barry say something like 'the behavior of politicians, esp. Sarah Palin has not helped the political environment.'
The Seattle Stranger has a cover that is on target and a great lede that scores a bullzeye on that "monstrous love child of Lee Atwater and Karl Rove," Sarah Palin. Enjoy!
I'm kind of partial to "And begging for civility out of teabaggers is like trying to convince a treeful of chimpanzees to stop masturbating." But yes, interesting read, if a little heavy-handed with those surveyor's marks.
Dominic, the editor of the stranger was friends with a lot of the people that died in the capitol hill massacre. Not a fan of the shooty types.
Camus, The Cure, and the Alaskunt.
One of these is not like the others.
Will Bible Spice be able to go anywhere in public and not be greeted by signs with her face and crosshairs, ever again?
Her future political aspirations are basically D.O.A. She should probably see if she can get her old job as a sports reader back. At this point, she probably would lose to Levi Johnston by twenty five points in the Mayor of Wasilly election.
“I wasn’t supposed to be able to become a vice president of Pillsbury.”
Does that rise to the level of non sequitur or is it just incomprehensible gibberish?
Maybe he's trying to imply divine intervention rather than staying secular with something along the lines of "Look, I worked my ass off to reach VP of P, and I'll do the same for you if you elect me" because logical cause and effect falls flat with "The Base."
"I wasn't supposed to be able to become Vice President of Pillsbury, either."
WHITE FLOUR! WHITE FLOUR! WHITE FLOUR!
And he wasn't supposed to get caught in the mailroom in a compromising position with Tha Doughboy, either.
Has he announced his Latino running mate yet?
Cain/Rubio 2012?
I was just picking my brain for a Cuban who think he's white. You could pick the new Nevada governor, too. Apparently, he doesn't think his kids are hispanic, and I'm sure Sharron Angle thinks they look a little Asian, to her.
Cain killed Abel, now they're letting him run for President? They didn't have the death penalty back then?
I originally posted this under the Ted Nugent thingy by mistake. Do I lose p points for that?
You should get more pee points to make up for the troll who has 101. I'm seriously pissed over that. I would boycott the wonket, but then I would be alone in a sea of conservatards and lose pee points while I'm there.
can i haz az service memorial liveblogs?
(Unless liveblogging a memorial service is too irreverent even for us.)
Help! I guess so. Rachel Maddow thought the clapping and cheering was creepy, as did I. Instead, Arizona had to show that Sheriff Dupnik was wrong, & that Arizona is really a love hippie commune from 1967. That seemed to be more important. Rah Rah Rah at a funeral. This does not feel warm and fuzzy to me. I am angry at this clearly politically driven mass slaughter by Gestapo tactic slurs & brainwashing of bigots etc.. The idjet was antigovernment etc.. the whole Tea Party spiel. I would like to have seen righteous indignation at these senseless murders & wounding. John Boner was throwing a shindig cocktail party at the exact same time as the Memorial Service. Not cool.
Libunatics hate it when minorities escape the Democrat Plantation.
Um….Democrat Plantation?
You know the president's black, right?
If only minorities would allow the GOP to show them the light. Why are minorities so blind? I, for one, blame the extra melanin.
Do you sincerely believe that machines have the ability to feel emotion? Are you worried that when you operate your anal insertion devices that you cause them shame? Is "Democrat Plantation" some sort of farm in Israel where you get food from in order to prepare with your libunatic? Do you often segregate foods into "dominant" and "minority" classes? How do you resolve the black-and-white cookie? Or Ho-Hos? Or does all phallic-shaped food make you uncomfortable? Does this have to do with that incident with your father from when you were eight? YOU DON'T HAVE TO HIDE ANYMORE; THERE ARE GOOD ADULTS TRYING TO HELP YOU!
Uh, no. What we hate is when racist fuckwits post idiotic comments on teh wonkett. And Libunatic? That has to be the dumbest portmanteau ever created.
Seriously? This troll has 102 pees? I'm appealing this to the umpire: Ken, how did this happen? Can't you just banhammer these assholes?
We share forum memberships with Breitbart and Big Government through intensedebate. That's why they're always over here cruising for validation instead of pestering Media Matters or Kos.
The Tea Party is up to its usual routine just two days after the shooting. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/12/anthony-...
Bless Sarah Palin who speaks with forked tongue
Bless the four legged, the two legged, & the two legged with dragging knuckles
Wonkette Health Department Alert: Vermin have been spotted in recent remarks. Please use Lava Soap after responding.
Is that the true liberal one that doesn't make any sense? Why do trolls even bother with the wonket? Do they take this stuff more seriously than we do, or what?
Bless the Great White Father.
Oh, wait.
Bless Dear Leader, whose mere proximity brings sight to the blind!
……Yesterday, Dave Weigel noted that, while no candidates have jumped in the current presidential race thus far….
My hopes are firmly pinned on more GOOPers jumping in the race. The Golden Gate Bridge, the Grand Canyon or any tall structure would all be perfect points to jump-start their campaigns.
Oh come on — I'm not gonna say I've never wished death on anyone, but there's no reason to give in to our basest nature. Let the assholes who can't help themselves get that glory.
So when you come here and drop a bunch of comments about how you hope someone gets shot and some other folks jump off bridges, is that to point to these same comments later and say how liberals endorse violent imagery against people they disagree with just like they accuse the teabaggers of doing? Because that shit is transparent, just so you know.
Bless Gov. Jan Brewer's Botox Doctor.
Oh, wait.
Pillsbury? AMong Georgia Republicans New Gingrich looks a lot more like the Dough Boy to me.
I'm watching the memorial service in Tuscon and what the hell is going on? It's like the Six Died Pep Rally there with the wild cheering. Bizarre.
Arizona is a teed off because they don't want to be seen as baddies. They want their Arizona is great & not bigots pep rally. I agree with you & Sheriff Dupnik who spoke truth to power. If we don't face the divide we can't heal. Part of the healing process is facing the truths & the hate mongers have got to stop. Happy Shiney People Land.
Shiny Happy People http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCQ0vDAbF7s&ob...
Beck, Limbaugh, & Palin & the rest of the Gestapo have to be called out for any healing to occur
Agreed. These people are getting too much of a pass on this.
I'm glad someone else noticed that too. I was listening on the radio, thinking WTF. Didn't these fucks ever understand the concept of solemn?
Yeah, truly weird crowd behavior. On the other hand, standing ovation for Mr. Hernandez was completely appropriate.
And god damn, what a speech by Obama! Had me in tears several times, and the closing dedication to Christina Taylor Green…wow.
It was a great speech — to take such loss and use it as incentive to become better people, achieving a confluence between our reaction to mortality with the will to live up to our ideals as political beings — was truly inspirational. I expect the backlash is already vehement and as distorted and stupid as a sack of hammers in a funhouse mirror.
Maybe it's a cultural thing, but being black, celebrating at a funeral doesn't at all come across as weird or untoward. You're laying claim to the moment. I have to say I'm not sure I expected the level of celebration, but it wasn't jarring in the least as it went on.
Hey, I'm watching this memorial service, too. Or something. Funny thing is, they've got some black guy up there acting like the president. What is this, some kind of comedy show?
It's like Bizarro world: cheering at a funeral, black president, sober Arizona governor: What's going on?
Shiny Happy People http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCQ0vDAbF7s&ob...
Beck, Limbaugh, & Palin & the rest of the Gestapo have to be called out for any healing to occur
Hey
Dang, he talks good.
I want a hologram of Teddy Roosevelt & Barney Frank to unleash a can of verbal whoop ass on the hate speakers & blood libelists http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCQ0vDAbF7s&ob...
Really. And who in the GOTP is going to jump at the chance to play second fiddle to a black man? Oh, yeah…
Cain*McCain 2012
3/5 will get you 5½
he's got one more thing going for him….. no Kenya connection….
I've read some comments on other sites of people who didn't like the Native American blessing. Maybe they should have gotten to this nation first and then they could have stopped them from their longstanding traditions. Get over it!
Blood libel!
With feathers!
I knew all about the Blessing Way, thanks to the late Tony Hillerman.
Good lord, this is appalling.
I am still exposed to the venom, insult and hostility of this Worker's Paradise?
I must tell Franklin to nationalize this site immediately. We can convert it to an NRA day care center for the children of migrant farmers displaced by the Dust Bowl.
What?
Oh, dear me, no: "NRA" stands for "National Reconstruction Act."
Look for the "Black Chicken" symbol: The Sign of the True Liberal.
Cordially,
Eleanor
P.S. Oh, and thank you for the -33. Weight loss is hard, and I feel slimmer already.
Nope. See ya Faux Eleanor. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
Good lord, this is appalling.
I am still exposed to the venom, insult and hostility of this jungle of illogic?
I must tell Franklin to nationalize this site immediately. We can convert it to an NRA day care center for the children of migrant farmers displaced by the Dust Bowl.
What?
Oh, dear me, no: "NRA" stands for "National Recovery Act."
Look for the "Blue Chicken" symbol:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:NewDealNRA.jpg
A/K/A "The Sign of the True Liberal."
Cordially,
Eleanor
P.S. Oh, and thank you for the -33. Weight loss is hard, and I feel slimmer already.
Goddamn, conservatives are retarded.
Franklin and I prefer, in typical True Liberal fashion, to refer to the "retarded" as "Specially Enabled."
You know, as in: "Representative Barney Frank (D – Mass) Rides WAAYYYYY In The Back Of The Short Yellow Bus of Public And Private Morality"?
Cordially,
Eleanor
Ummm…Neilist?
Never saw them both together, could be.
Oh, dear, he's not back, is he?
What an offensive character. All those facts, and logic, and rational analysis.
And his fixation on "history"! But not in the way history should be applied, e.g., that of the Worker's Struggle.
"History History": All those nasty "fact" thingies.
Cordially,
Eleanor
Or should we just call you Mary Sue?
Gender Identity issues can be VERY troubling for the True Liberal.
Indeed, many people believed that I was a woman!!!
Franklin, however, never had this problem.
Cordially,
Eleanor
I really miss the way he would beat those same tired jokes over and over like a dead horse. Who will mock Benazir Bhutto now? Wonkette had our Jay Leno, and we lost him.
*sniff*
That "Neilist" creature is no loss to Wonkette.
He's gone, and we now can again wallow comfortably in our delightful pigsty of smug self-assurance; delusion; and bathos.
Hand me that loofa, would you? Or is it a falafel? Lorena HIckcox would scrub my broad, manly shoulders with one or the other, as we bathed together and dreamed of Amelia Earhart . . . .
Cordially,
Eleanor
Totally O/T
The Fox News crawl just said that an aide close to Sarah Palin said she is now getting death threats at "an unprecedented level."
Blood libel, blood libel, blood libel. I suppose it's the Jews' fault, too and also.
I'm beginning to think Palin is totally nuts, and not in a funny way anymore. She's becoming pathological, and everything we joke about about her is actually true. What kind of sick mind craves so much attention they'd make up something like that? I don't believe a word of it.
She must have pissed off her constituents.
It's vitally important that Sarah keep the momentum from shifting to that little event in Tucson at a critical time like this.
She must have really p***ed off her constituents.
(Sorry for reposting this–it had disappeared into the IntenseDebate netherworld for some time, so I thought it must have been the spelling.)
News alert: David Gergen commentary on the memorial service completely irrelevant.
Shocked!
Since our Wonkette seems to be unobservant, I will post on the memorial service here, especially since I need to go to bed.
Was that a football rally or a memorial? I didn’t know if I should tap a keg or what. America wonders. I am, however, Northeast born and bred, and we tend not to cheer at solemn events, and we also don’t generally approve of carrying hand guns to church (unless the pastor requires papist devotion – Catholics excluded).
And then, after all of that, thank you Mr. President, for keeping it real. Nice job. I was weepy and grateful.
Rachel Maddow thought the clapping and cheering was creepy, as did I. Instead, Arizona had to show that Sheriff Dupnik was wrong, and that Arizona is a love hippie commune from 1967. That seemed to be more important. Rah Rah Rah at a funeral. This does not feel warm and fuzzy to me. I am angry at this clearly politically driven mass slaughter by Gestapo tactic slurs & brainwashing of bigots etc.. The idjet was antigovernment etc.. the whole Tea Party spiel. I would like to have seen righteous indignation at these senseless murders & woundings. John Boner was throwing a shindig cocktail party at the exact same time as the Memorial Service. Not cool.
Hey, hey, hey: Ease up on attacking Boner. He was going to watch the prez's speech on the teevee, just the way the two boneheads celebrating their election took their oath of office by holding up their hands and being sworn in, by the teevee.
Republithugs are such known patriots, they don't need to actually show up in person, as if they were America-hating commies like all Democrats are known to be.
If it inteferes with their cocktail party schedule, they can just teevee themselves in. What's the big deal?
Crying in his blue martini I suppose. Jeeves!
Hey, if Ernest Angely can heal people over the teevee then our Congresspeople should be able to press their hands on John Boehner's image on C-SPAN and be recognized as official duly elected representatives. What pisses me off to no end is that the Capitol Police keep insisting that I have no right to occupy the office my oath clearly allows me.
Herman Cain sounds like something you apply to a sunburned cock.
Watching the prez's unpolitical and sensitive speech, I was almost moved to tears until I played a fun mind game with myself. "How," I asked myself, "are Rush and the meatheads of the right, including the Faux news whiz kids, going to turn this into a vicious political attack on America?"
"Easy," I answered my question to myself. "Not once did Hopey apologize to the Snowbilly Grifter about the pain she is in."
Gah, you're probably right. Fuck.
Haven't they asked for his birth certificate yet?
Pillsbury is owned by General Mills which also owns Macaroni Grill which is where John Edwards introduced his grieving children to Aunt Rielle, so it's obvious that he's a liberal.
I'm not so sure. What books does he say he's read?
And what is his favorite bar?
Duh. "A Tale of Two Wars and Peas" and a kitchen table.
The real question is, how many guns does he own?
Jesus, I miss this man. "THE MINDLESS MENACE OF VIOLENCE" Bobby Kennedy April 5, 1968 "This is the violence that afflicts the poor, that poisons relations between men because their skin has different colors. This is the slow destruction of a child by hunger, and schools without books and homes without heat in the winter. This is the breaking of a man's spirit by denying him the chance to stand as a father and as a man among other men. And this too afflicts us all. I have not come here to propose a set of specific remedies nor is there a single set. For a broad and adequate outline we know what must be done. When you teach a man to hate and fear his brother, when you teach that he is a lesser man because of his color or his beliefs or the policies he pursues, when you teach that those who differ from you threaten your freedom or your job or your family, then you also learn to confront others not as fellow citizens but as enemies, to be met not with cooperation but with conquest; to be subjugated and mastered."
Did you hear that Jan Brewer? Get off the damn stage.
As are the rest of you, Franklin and I are appalled — appalled — that these Negros should refuse to acknowledge the "racial blood debt" that they owe to the Democrat Party,
Have they already forgotten that it was a Republican, Abraham Lincoln, who publicly accused Democratic Senator Stephen Douglas of being afraid to free the Negroes because Douglas felt he might not be able to control his desire to have sex with them?
The racist Lincoln claimed that, unlike Douglas and his Democratic followers, Lincoln could "leave African women alone."
Too soon, too soon, the Sons of Ham forget that True Liberals want to have sex with our Dusky Compatriots all the time. Why, one day, after Paul Robeson sang "The Internationale" for us — in Russian! — at the White House, he and Franklin went into the Oval Office and . . .
. . . well, let's just say that the "polio" excuse for the wheelchair may not have been entirely accurate, shall we?
Cordially,
Eleanor
Gee you sure use big words you must be smart.
Turdbreath.
Hey, OTL, thanks for stopping by and letting us watch you recharge your crazy batteries. I've always wondered how wingnuts do that.
I'm guessing you prefer to call that 19th century dust-up "The War of Northern Aggression." Amiright?
Dear Writey:
Franklin and I usually used your term, "War of Northern Aggression," to describe Finland's treacherous attempt to overcome the True Ally of All Liberals (the Soviet Union) in 1939-40.
As I am sure you appreciate, Finland's senseless resistance to Communist slavery counts as a "War of Northern Aggression" in the minds of all True Liberals.
In contrast, the American Civil War stands as an example of why True Liberals insist on an unarmed citizenry. That way the federal government can, rightly or wrongly, impose its will with impunity.
Herding the potentially treacherous Japanese-Americans into concentration camps at the beginning of World War II might have been much, much harder if those "Nips" (to use a phrase then popular) had been armed. And think how the nation would have been imperiled that those "Japs" (another popular phrase) the means to resist the will of the majority.
And for that matter, what if the Native Savages had been armed? Heavens, forbid!
Given that our Heroic Democrat President has made it legal to authorize the murder of American citizens by Executive Order, without that Due Process nonsense of an indictment; trial or whatever, it is even more important that the citizenry NOT be armed.
After all, if Obama and the Democrats have thrown out the 4th, 5th, 6th and 8th Amendments, why should that silly 2nd Amendment stand?
Remember, "It Can't Happen Here" – so long as you are a privileged True Liberal . . . as are we all here in Wonkette.
God Bless Us, Each And Every One!
Cordially,
Eleanor
Apparently, the crazy batteries are never quite full.
I'm a big fan of this style. I'm debating whether to try out my new "Franklin Pierce" character, or instead begin screaming about how the Whigs are ruining the country.
Cain: The other dark meat.
Now, I see what white people mean when they say that all black people look a like. This guy is trying to copy Steele don't to the cheesy, stiff mustache. That is the sign of a douchebag black Republican. They take their style from 80's era white men.
ALAN KEYES IN 2000!!!!!
I wonder if his website tells the harrowing story of his re-vitiligo, a la Uncle Ruckus.
I once dated a tranny that was always talking about her mancane.
I noticed there's a petition to Sarah Palin to renounce violence. Didn't have enough room to put those up for all of the Left's hate-peakers, huh?
That explains all the Fuck Yeahs, and here I thought we were finding some common ground.
FUCK NO
Careful, your bitterness is starting to show! The key here is to keep playing it sarcastic. It really sticks it to us simple-minded libs.
"Sarcasm" is no substitution for bathos.
Or for bathing with Lorena, for that matter.
But join us here in the Slough of Democracy, my dear. I'll smear my emotions all over your naughty bits, and Lorena will vomit her feelings all over your lovely back.
Franklin, of course, will watch. The same way he watched the Japanese prepare for a year for their "surprise attack" on Pearl Harbor.
(We Democrats had to come up with some excuse to get into the war to bail out Uncle Joe Stalin.)
Cordially,
Eleanor
Alas, I have no desire to wallow in anyone's emotional vomit. But you give Ms. Hickok a big sloppy kiss for me, you schticky so-and so.
Toodles
"We Democrats had to come up with some excuse to get into the war to bail out Uncle Joe Stalin."
Really? The Democrats were secretly responsible for Pearl Harbor. I had no idea!
At what Democratic Representative's community meeting can we expect you to appear? (Too soon?)
Wow. An America Firster. The 1930's version of the Tea Bagger.
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