SHARE

'As Ronald Reagan said, blah blah blah blah blah blah communism ....'The Wonkbot was just kicking it old-style at its tacky lakefront tract McMansion up in some snowbilly suburb by the Taco Bell and Big Lots! and Home Depot and army recruiting strip mall shop and then the Wonkbot thought, “People somewhere are doing a Jew Blood Libel on me!” So here is the “state of the nation address” as delivered by some government surplus sex robot with its fireplace and burning American Flags.


See more Wonkbot special comment terror threat level blood libel alerts by looking at other web pages with these videos.

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Nopantsmcgee

    I don't 'get '' the Wonkbot, but that's not new for me.

    • SmutBoffin

      Well, if you were to read the transcript, you'd say to yourself "That is just Ken Layne writing as per the usual, in the voice of a robot for some reason."

      Wonkette needed more AV content, I guess, because the kids enjoy that shit, for some reason (illiteracy).

      • gef05

        I am illiterate and I approved that message.

    • problemwithcaring

      You know, for some reason Wonkbot is the funniest thing in the world to me – have no idea why. Something about hearing Ken's thoughts read by a dispassionate software program really helps me relate to his visions of a dystopian American future. I mean, I am *there.*

      And of course lines like "Can we please talk about me again. I am writing a book – it's a compilation of outdated Roomba manuals with an introduction by Reagan's last serving vibrator" are so perfect.

    • 102415

      Relax. It's not like it's asking anyone to ……..survey anything.

  • TanzbodenKoenig

    I can't wait for the Wonkbot TSA 1138 vs. Sarah Palin 2012 presidential debate. It will be epic: the dildo – cunt showdown of the century

    • JoeMamased

      "Nailin' Palin 2"

      • horsedreamer_1

        A Joint Hustler-Fuck Machines Presentation.

    • SmutBoffin

      IT WOULD BE LIKE A LUCID DREAM COME TRUE

  • DDDintensified

    I sort of like your fireplace, Wonkbot. It looks like you made it out of human skulls, though I mean no blood libel by it.

  • freakishlywrong

    I mean really, did she have to do this shit TODAY? Why not tomorrow, yesterday, whateva. But, today?

    • Beowoof

      She is the one person who really knows timing and does her thing to achieve maximum effect on her bank account. Her supporters will love her comments and rational humans will hate it.

    • Beowoof

      She is a master at timing things to build her own reputation. Her comments will impress her supporters and leave rationale humans retching with nausea.

    • Radiotherapy

      At least Limbnuts waited one day after Clinton's OK City speech to launch his pathetic bombast.

      And speaking of which. One of the things that Inannity, et.al. say to defend them calling Obama a Marxist/Fascist, blahblah is that someone called Bush a bad name or something. (Did that even happen on Left Wing Radio? Is there Laft wing Radio?) But whatever, they have seemed to forgotten the vitriol they STARTED with Clinton. In short, what a bunch of flying assholes.

      • Rotundo_

        It actually had its start with Carter, but Carters' utter tone deafness politically, combined with repukelickan shenanigans (miraculously freeing the embassy hostages when St. Ronnie took the oaf of office), kind of drowned that out. You are correct in your assessment, what a bunch of flying assholes.

  • I had to look up blood libel as I had never heard it before and was stunned to think SP might know a word I don't. I love that on the blood libel page on Wikipedia shows SP as the face of anti-semitism. Wouldn't blood feud have covered the concept?

    • OneDollarJuana

      Sarah Palin is very careful in what she says. When she says "blood libel" she means just that.

    • natoslug

      How long until she cries "blood libel" over the wikipedia reference to her?–
      "In 2011, Sarah Palin, a quitter and no longer relevant political figure, reinserted herself into national spotlight and used the term without any idea of the meaning. This action reaffirms the American public and the world of her incompetence and stupidity."

  • Delicious_2

    The "wankbot?"

    • Beowoof

      I do believe that is Sarah.

  • johnnymeatworth

    She can see Auschwitz from her house….

    • Beowoof

      She wants to build a pipeline through Alaska to Auschwitz.

      • Extemporanus

        "The world needs more gas pipelines, not fewer."

        – Sarah Palin

  • ShiftyParadigm

    This makes as much sense as Sarah's video, with the lagniappe of not making my ears bleed.

  • Tommmcatt

    Dis they eyes always flash like that or is that new?

    • gef05

      I noticed it to, and I think it's new.

      Did you also come away from the video feeling compelled to kill?

      • Tommmcatt

        It just made me want to smoke a bowl. But then, almost anything makes me want to smoke a bowl: Car commercials, butterflies, Disney cartoons.

        So this is no different.

      • Tommmcatt

        It just made me want to smoke a bowl. But then, almost anything makes me want to smoke a bowl: Car commercials, butterflies, Disney cartoons.

        So, nothing new, really.

    • not that Dewey

      And every time they do, the Smoke Monster appears behind her, just hovering.

      • Tommmcatt

        EXACTLY.

  • chascates

    Please hold a minute of silence for Sarah Palin and all she's gone through

    • SmutBoffin

      STOP EATERING MY COMMENTS WONKETTE

    • OneDollarJuana

      Except Sarah only goes through half of it and then quits..

    • ChessieNefercat

      "Please hold a minute of silence…"

      Her first.

    • Rotundo_

      How about simulated or real bathroom noises? Silence just doesn't seem appropriate to $arah, since she hasn't shut the fuck up since Walnuts listened to Billy Krystol and put her on the ticket. Bathroom noises just seem to convey my reverent and fervent respect for her so much more than a few moments of silence ever could.

  • snoopyfan2010

    How Ken was able to get a robot to recite the entire US American Constitution is amazing.

    • BruceMajor

      Congresswoman Giffords read the First Amendment. (You pathetic tool.)

  • freakishlywrong

    The weeping eagle is stealing the show on my crappy, pausy connection to the u tubez.

  • Sophist FCD

    Oh, Wonkbot! You can libel my blood any day, as well as my sweat, tears, cerebrospinal fluid, vitreous humour, and any other liquid oozing around in me that strikes your fancy.

    • wondering where i am

      Jizz libel? Pus libel? Cerumen libel?

    • BruceMajor

      One suspects most Wonkers are all dried up and lacking in fluidity. Like their prose.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Again with the wonkbot! Why couldn't you be a doctor or a lawyer like that nice boy across the street?

  • YasserArraFeck

    "Don't Blood Libel Me, Bro!"

    • Guppy06

      Big sale on blood libel!

  • government surplus sex robot

    If you don't have a franchise for the upper Midwest yet, sign me up. Huge market among laid off auto workers who know how to "move the metal" (Nudge, nudge, wink, wink)

  • Progressiveinga

    I think that Tranny Spice is really a victim of us misunderstanding her typically incoherent word salad mess. Maybe she really meant blood "liable" and she is admitting that she is "responsible" for all of the blood that has poured in Tucson? Yes, I'm sure that is what she meant. Thank you, Sarah, for taking responsibility for your actions and I refudiate all of the pundints who misunderestimate you.

    • OneDollarJuana

      Maybe she meant "blood labia" because it's that time of the month, and she's a little cranky and out of sorts.

    • 102415

      No no her friend in the warriorchurch says that.

  • Mumbletypeg

    I'm overcome with a sort of wistful affection with each new Wonkbot viewing. Inexplicably it's accompanied by a desire to crank up some Angelo Badalamenti on a nearby jukebox & see Wonkbot sway side to side, dolled up in pleat skirt and cashmere sweater.

  • Come here a minute

    Those who spread lies about the wankbot 2000 or whatever are committing "RAM chip libel" like the ancient FORTRAN computers that ate the silicon of Apple IIe's in their punchcard sortation ritual.

    • jus_wonderin

      "Oh damn. I dropped my punchcards. Damn."

    • GOPCrusher

      * shudder * Those are certainly times that I don't want to relive. We didn't understand the hell that we had unleashed.

  • Extemporanus

    Blood libel means never having to say you're sorry.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Those lesser, primitive races will never share in our peace and prosperity until they tone down their violent rhetoric and start behaving like us civilized people. It's too bad we have to blow lots of them up to get our notion of civil discourse into their heads, but violence is the only language they understand.

  • Mahousu

    With Wonkbot, wouldn't it be more of an "oil libel"? Or perhaps a "lithium grease libel," or a "molybdenum disulfide libel," depending on its taste in lubricants.

    • Be better for us if Wonkbot went with the moly disulfide for its anti-galling properties.

    • Negropolis

      Lube libel, maybe?

  • Gnatsum

    Sarah hates violence. In fact, when she said "Don't retreat, RELOAD!" she was not referring to a barbaric act of violence, but was rather relating a charming family anecdote about what she says toTodd, the dimwitted sex slave, after a romantic encounter.

    • Lost_Teabaggers

      Or maybe she was talking about Bristol's latest snowbilly fuckbuddy who can't seem to impregnate her yet? Eh…knowing the grifter it could be Willow…man oh man that'll sell some books to the hard right and gain some sympathy!

  • Tengu

    Wonkbot is the Scrappy-Doo of this blog.

  • EdFlintstone

    So when will the national holocaust memorial museum be adding the Palin wing?

    • Negropolis

      When Sarah Palin apologizes for anything, anything she's ever done to hurt anyone.

      In other words, never.

  • BarackMyWorld

    This kind of thing is the reason why I keep coming back to this site. And trucknutz. Also.

  • MinAgain

    I liked the prequel, "Blood Simple", much better.

  • I use black and blue mana in my rituals. Blood is icky and tastes like pennies.

    • 102415

      It does!

  • MsElla

    Remember Helen Thomas? Let's stroll down memory lane, shall we?
    http://twitter.com/SarahPalinUSA/status/154525223

  • DoktorZoom

    Tonight on Fox: "Why are The Jews So Touchy?"

    Edit: "Why are The Jews Christ-Killers So Touchy?"

  • Sassomatic

    In this gosh darn great country of ours, inciting violence is what makes this country a shining beacon to the world, one where lowering taxes and getting out of the way of big business will help our citizens force teenagers raped by their fathers to have babies, and where everyone can own automatic weapons to shoot wolves from helicopters, and if you don't agree with our views, we'll just survey your ass straight to hell. Also. Despair and stagnation, too. Also.

  • WorkTheSaxofone

    One of you people down around Death Valley could stop by the Layne place and check on him?

    • jim89048

      I'm about 20 miles east of the northern terminus of the real 20-Mule Team wagon road, it'd take days for me to get there…

  • thefrontpage

    TONIGHT ON FOX:

    SARAH PALIN AND HELEN THOMAS MUD WRESTLE IN CHICKEN BLOOD!

    LIVE! ON FOX!

  • spinozasgod

    Palin/Wonkbot 2012!!!

  • mereoblivion

    Never forget the kittens.

  • Lost_Teabaggers

    You know I think "Don't retreat, reload" probably came from Sarah cheerleading Todd after the stool softener didn't work once? We know most wingnuts are born pantshitters but once they get old…she cheers them on. Also is it blood libel if I call both Sarah and by extension wonkbot stupid plastic whores? Just curious.

  • CookiE_MonstA

    Is she trying to say that her critics are implying that she has ritualized the blood of Gabby Giffords, a Jewish woman, for some arcane means of self empowerment..?

    • 102415

      Yes. Oh, no. Oh, maybe yes. I give up.

  • Bonzos_Bed_Time

    Commander Data – totally ghey. C-3PO also.

    At least they can go to Afghanistan and be shot now.

  • ttommyunger

    Forgot to mention 9-11? Why do you hate 'Merika, Wonkbot?

  • GOPCrusher

    I think that the thought that they are just being made by people that are jealous of her and fear the "Truth" that she speaks, kind of eases the pain for her.

  • WriteyWriterton

    I will listen to Sarah's defensive, narcisstic rant later.

    For now I'll say only that she is the Palinocalypse.

  • Katydid

    I think I have a crush on Wonkbot now.

    And I don't mean to gush, but Ken, you are brilliant. It's not just your creativity, it's your ability to always cut through all the bullshit and get to the heart of something and still make it so very funny. Sorry no snark, I cannot compete with you.

  • Rotundo_

    I'm a sucker for robots, but even if I wasn't Wonkbot rocks!

  • politics_nerd

    Thank you, God, for Sarah Palin. So much comedy. Also, Barack Obama's second term, in a bag. So to speak.

  • NadePaulKuciGravMcKi

    BLOOD LIBEL

    Did she make you cry
    Make you break down
    Shatter your illusions of love

    Is it over now
    Do you know how
    Pick up the pieces and go home

  • Left_Leftie

    I have been avoiding SP's video all day. Now I think I can watch it and laugh. Blood libel blood libel blood libel. Now it is my catch phrases . .Sorry Jews!

  • Negropolis

    Oh. Mah. Gah

    I havent not laughed so hard in MONTHS. The Maggie Thatcher reference killed me. "Jew Congresswoman". This is so full of win it hurts.

    If Sarah Palin thought that nailing herself to a cross placed within the National Mall would help her sell books, she'd do it. She's like the black hole of humanity.

  • lulzmonger

    ALL YOUR BLOOD LIBEL ARE BELONG TO WONKBOT
    YOU HAVE NO TRUCKNUTZ MAKE YOUR TIME

  • BruceMajor

    It's not a Jewish problem and it's not a libel, but I believe I just saw a stadium full of Democratic Party vultures make matzoh out of a 9 year old girl's corpse, to build up their strength before they go out to meet a bad fate in 2012.

    Their leader was even telling them not to eat more children in public (though they are still allowed to round up black kids and sell them to educrat unions for campaign donations) and to behave better in general, because he had read the polls on how the majority of people rejected their smears (smears like this article) last week. But they cawed and cackled and didn't listen to him, and tore out her heart and liver and ate them on national TV anyway. And whooped with delight at the taste.

  • 102415

    And they had t shirts too! Why don't you eat your right arm and tell us about it.

  • jim89048

    There's already a bumper crop of weeds!

  • BruceMajor

    Yes T shirts leftover from the Obama 2008 campaign. Classy!

  • 102415

    Together We Thrive Tucson & America Together We Thrive Tucson & America Together We Thrive Tucson & America Together We Thrive Tucson & America
    Together We Thrive Tucson & America Together We Thrive Tucson & America
    Here it is for you in the Fox news language you understand.
    According to Fitzenberger, the shirts were designed by a University of Arizona student, and they cost about $60,000. "The University will pay for them," she noted. "No tuition, state allocations, tax dollars or student fees will be used."
    Many have also wondered how the shirts were produced so quickly. According to Fitzenberger, "The UA BookStores made the arrangements to produce the shirts. The BookStores knew a vendor that could turn them around fast." http://nation.foxnews.com/arizona-shooting-rampag

    "Together We Thrive: Tucson & America," that must be hard for you to bear seeing teatard.

Previous articleJoe Wilson ‘You Lie’ Assault Rifle Thing: Way Late Or Right On Time?
Next articleBen Quayle To Weird Out Barack Obama On Air Force One