D.C. Bar Wants You To Know It Hates Mexicans

  guess he doesn't want dishwashing help

Why does Adams Morgan bar The Black Squirrel have a current-affairs blog? And why does it, in between posts about sports, get political in a city where its customers are very political? The Messicans made them do it.

The next time Stephen Colbert slips into his alter ego and skewers the illegal-alien issue to laughs, he might want to consider the family of Chandra Levy, the 24-year-old intern who went jogging in Rock Creek Park on May 1, 2001 and was brutally murdered. [...]

The Levys are hardly the only U.S. family to discover that not all illegal aliens come here to work and eventually enter the mainstream. Too many come here to ply their illicit trades, take up with gangs and live in the shadow of polite society.

They are a menace who eat up tax dollars and terrorize neighborhoods. That is a reality different from the one often peddled on Capitol Hill

We never liked black squirrels. You notice how they’ve invaded regions in this country they weren’t previously and have displaced the hardworking Protestant brown squirrels? Wait, what are we saying? STOP THE HATE. GET DRUNK. SHUT UP, BARKEEP. [Black Squirrel]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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