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The blowing-up doll.
And there she is, Sarah Palin, the president of having no real job outside of making certain Americans afraid of everything but themselves for money, walking down the aisle. She shakes hands with leaders of both sides, the one that wants to kill all Muslim Americans and the one that just wants to take away all their rights. Now she makes her way up and sits on the speakin’ fireplace, flanked by Vice President of Victimhood Trig Palin and Speaker of the What Stephen Baldwin. Let’s listen in as she delivers her address.

“NO APPLAUSE BREAKS. I GET ALL THE ATTENTION. GIVE ALL THE ATTENTION TO ME. IF YOU ARE NOT CAREFUL, I WILL LITERALLY PUT MY GUN SCOPE ON ANOTHER MEMBER OF CONGRESS. I WILL DO IT. SOCIALISM.”

Look, people from both political parties used her map with the crosshairs on it. It was a good map! It had like all of the U.S. states on there, so you could print it out and take it with you traveling. If you used it to locate people to murder on your road trip, well, that’s freedom, right?

“And we certainly must not be deterred by those who embrace evil and call it good.” Not at all. We must give these people reality teevee shows, shower them with book money and ravenous attention, and then get shot by a person as crazy as ourselves to put us out of this misery.

Hey guys, if you hadn’t heard, America is really great. And American flags like to hang out with Sarah Palin. Coincidence?

We must not let the random acts of a criminal turn us against ourselves, because that is Sarah Palin’s job! How else is she supposed to FEED TRIG? You are basically murdering a Down syndrome baby.

“I rest my case, fireplace. Shut off the camera, Piper. No, the other button. Did you even have a tape in? Piper.”

He would know.

Yep, the media is going to have to parse this like it’s some important text. And, surprise, it’s stupid! [Vimeo/Twitter]

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  • Barbara_i

    I loved the anti-semitism Jewish "blood libel" reference and the mention of the service at the CATHOLIC church. Gifford is Jewish, ya know. Now all we need is Barbara Boxer to agree that meh, Gabriells's hairstyle was "so 1983" and the State of the Crazy Union speech will be complete. I give it a "9" because it was easy to dance to.

    I wonder how long it took her to unfurl that flag in the background just right? I bet she forced Toad to fetch the Krazy Glue to put that one crystal back into her flag pin after he and his secession buddies pried one crystal out while dreaming of being The United States of Palin, aka Alaska.

    • Texan_Bulldog

      Not to nitpick, but it was Carly Fiorina who made the bitchy mean girl comment about Boxer's hair. Boxer isn't stupid enough to say that crap on a live mic.

      • Barbara_i

        You are absolutely correct, it was Carly. My coffee still hasn't kicked in yet.

    • SorosBot

      Speaking of which, look what the asshole Erik son of Erik had to say:
      http://www.redstate.com/erick/2011/01/11/whats-mi

      "Through it all though, well meaning people on both sides of the ideological and partisan divide are not talking about the one thing that should be talked about — a saving faith in Jesus Christ.

      In all the discussions we’re having, let’s not forget that bad things have happened throughout history, but we are seeing more and more a pattern of violence from those who reject Christ and we are seeing the most extreme rhetoric from those who reject the only real truth while embracing every other historic fad and nonsense as variations of truth. The one true way has been shunned, ridiculed, bastardized, co-opted, and buried over in psycho-babble nonsense, “find your own spirtual self” crap, and haphazard soul damning assorted other garbage."

      Real nice thing to say about the attempted assassination of a Jewish congresswoman.

      • DoktorZoom

        I think I see what you mean–he shoulda said that "those who reject Christ" will be shot through the head, too.

        And of course, Dr Tiller was shot at his own church BY a good Christian, but that one's OK because No True Christian is pro-choice.

        • SorosBot

          It's rather sickening, how he inadvertently (I'll generously assume) slanders the targeted victim of the tragedy in his attempt to slander atheists. Not to mention that, while it appears Jared was an atheist or agnostic, that had nothing to do with his actions – it seems he mainly targeted Giffords specifically because she has a vagina and blew off his stupid question at an earlier event.

          • NorthStarSpanx

            When I worked on the Hill, I got a call one morning from someone A. Obviously wasted, B. Possibly Mentally Ill and/or C. Just an Asshole at what would be 4 a.m. in Alaska – he wanted me to write down word for word his rambling message to the Senator and demanded I recite it back, without giving his name, zip code or any identifier that he was a real Alaskan. He was so enraged at my message taking skills, I'm glad I wasn't on a Palin map to make it easy for him to take me out.

      • natoslug

        Can we hurry up the fucking rapture, please? I'm really getting sick of these people.

      • genxr

        I stopped reading at "Through it all though." That's just bad writing. I assume the rest was just as bad.

      • indecencycmdr

        yes, "embracing every other historic fad and nonsense as variations of truth"… you know, that "fad" of Judaism.

      • glamourdammerung

        I recall this "Jesus" character having issues with selfish, serial liar pricks.

    • ivenson

      It is entirely possible that she has no idea what the term "blood libel" actually refers to and just thought it was a cool word combination. She is dumb, you know.

      • genxr

        She used the term "blood libel" to refudiate the canard.

        • natoslug

          Why all the hatred for ducks?

          • She didn't think STFU faggots would be appropriate.

          • natoslug

            Homosexuality is wrong, no matter what your alma mater. (sorry, channeling Sarah there for a moment)

    • undeterredbyreality

      Easy to dance to? How can you dance when you're trying to stuff your feet in your ears to keep out the horrible screech?

      • Barbara_i

        If I could stuff my feet in my ears my husband would have never left for work.

    • GOPCrusher

      My first question is why does she have an American flag behind her? Wouldn't a Republic of Alaska flag be more apropos?

  • It's ALL ABOUT ME!!! SARAH PALIN! MEEEEEEEE!!!!

    • Tundra Grifter

      But enough about me. Let's talk about you. What do you think of me?

    • Cicada

      All right, Mr. Kristol, I'm ready for my close-up.

    • Not_So_Much

      It has been a horrible, lonely 4 days in which she was the center of exactly nobody's attention. Well, except The Gimp Glenn Beck. She's lost that magical glow and one has to wonder if Todd is threatening to 'cut a bitch' if she can't get that moneymaker churning again…

    • HempDogbane

      Does anyone have a recording of that song they occasionally played on the (MPR) Morning Show? A woman sang it. Lyrics: "I, I, I, I, I, Me, Me, Me, Me, I, I, I, Me, Me, Me, etc."

  • OurHoboSenator

    Thanks to Sarah Palin, "Blood Libel" is now a trending topic on Twitter. I don't know who is responsible for #bootycallrules, though. Probably Newt Gingrich.

  • ivenson

    At the end, she sounds exactly like Delores Umbridge. She should have collectible kitten plates on the wall behind her.

    • ChessieNefercat

      "She should have collectible kitten plates on the wall behind her."

      or maybe,

      "She should have collectible kittens on the wall behind her?"

      • SorosBot

        This being Palin, they'd be kitties she'd shot and stuffed.

        You know, Sarah still hasn't denied the rumor that she regularly hunts kittens.

      • Worthly Wokette Skum

        Does Sarah have a Buddha nature?

        Mew.

    • Terry

      Collectible kitten plates on which the images MOVE.

    • OneDollarJuana

      The tone and cadence actually remind me of Bobby Jindahl and his singsong kindergarten lecture of a few years ago.

  • SorosBot

    I started listening but god, that voice, the horror, I just couldn't keep going. Does anyone have a transcript so I'll know what exact terrible things the hideous famewhore said?

    • ChessieNefercat

      Shorter:

      "How dare anyone criticize anyone as perfect as I? How dare you? How dare you? How dare you? This is proof that the lamestream Jewish-controlled media drink the blood of Christian children like Trig because I am a saint who didn't abort him."*

      *Or give birth to him either, but that's a different story.

      • Sully?

        • ChessieNefercat

          Huh?

          • Andrew Sullivan, Trig birther extraordinaire.

          • ChessieNefercat

            Oh, I just think it's pretty obvious she covered for Bristol, but I don't think it was some grand intentional scheme or anything like that.

            Of all the actively repulsive, illegal, unethical, unpatriotic, cowardly, vicious, etc., etc., things she's done, it's way, way down the list.

          • Failure_Artist

            How is it obvious? She seemed perfectly fine with letting Bristol give birth to her own baby when more eyes were on her.

    • fuflans

      you know what just sunk in – just now? i'm going to have to hear that shreiky self satisfied vapid celebutard all over the news cycle all over AGAIN.

      gahhhhhh.

      this country is like 'no exit' only we're stuck with dracula's harpy bride who shrieks like the nazgul.*

      *sorry for all the mixed references but i'm not thinking clearly.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Good stuff, Jack. I think her speech writer put the 'blood libel' stuff in there on purpose. After all, you wouldn't want to be thinking about honoring & talking about the victims today; NO, we must talk about Sarah Palin or the terrorists win…or something.

  • freakishlywrong

    I do not think it means what she thinks it means. Shit, SOMEBODY'S Ghost writer is going to be in deep kimchi when the tundratard gets it whispered in her ear.

    • Tundra Grifter

      "Tundratard?" Watch it – that's hitting pretty close to home…

      • HempDogbane

        Griftard?

        • Tundra Grifter

          Thin-skinned? Who the fuck is thin-skinned?

    • DeLand_DeLakes

      Um, you're making the rather far-fetched assumption that Palin gives a shit about slandering Jews.

      • SorosBot

        Sarah loves the Jews because she supports Israel – because she believes if they get rid of all the Palestinians and rebuild a temple then they'll all be killed and the end of the world will begin.

  • JoshuaNorton

    Except for something to be even remotely “blood libel”, it would have to be, ya know, “libelous”.

    But of course, words don’t have any standard meaning when you’re busy creating your own reality. Hey! maybe she actaully understood Loughner’s disjointed ramblings. She, too, has issues with that whole “seeking to control through grammar” sctick.

    Death panels. Also.

    • You're on to something there JN with Loughner & Palin being rhetorical soulmates. Do you think they may have taken the same on-line honkeybonics class?

    • PDX_Smart_Ass

      You're probably just some technical "lawyer," demanding that something be libelous in order to be called libel. Next up, you'll be trying to refudiate something else she said.

    • You're so right about the Death Panels thing! That was, in fact a modern day equivalent of Blood Libel. (And the irony is that the insurance companies we already have are functionally Death Panels.)

      But actually, the Blood Libel is the modern equivalent of the Blood Libel. Too many people in Arabic/Islamic countries are credulously discovering all the libels against Jews from centuries ago.

      You hit a rich vein when you start talking about Blood Libel! (Go ahead, kill me now. Metaphorically. With POINTS!)

      • Patti LaBelle and the Blood Libelles, I loved those guys!

  • fuflans

    how did she find 7 minutes worth of words to string together?

    • Easy she's being handled. My guess is that Ms. Mansour is out after the "surveyor's map" debacle and she's now working directly with Glenn Reynolds and other members of Team Murdoch.

    • Kidneys4Sale

      It's possible she was reading from Faulkner. Or even Wesley Willis.

      • doxastic

        She's always empathized with Benjy Compson.

        • elviouslyqueer

          That would assume that Sarah is capable of empathy. Plus, I'd imagine that the old rat bastard Jason Compson is much more Sarah's speed, since Benjy's way too erudite.

          /English major

      • elviouslyqueer

        Oh right, like old Tundra Twat has even heard of Faulkner. More likely, she's got crib notes from one of Glenn Beck's oeuvre. Or Dan Brown.

        • nappyduggs

          Jackie Collins or GTFO.

      • WriteyWriterton

        I'm guessing Wesley Snipes.

    • ChessieNefercat

      "how did she find 7 minutes worth of words to string together? "

      She didn't.

      • fuflans

        ahhhhh. thanks for that.

        like sorosbot, i couldn't get thru it.

    • doxastic

      Apparently Resistnet

    • Not_So_Much

      When you use the words 'Liberty', 'for our troops', and 'also' more than 700 times each, you don't need much actual content.

    • JustPixelz

      OMFG! That thing goes on for 7 minutes? (I didn't watch past 0:00.)

  • MsElla

    I looked up "narcissist" in the dictionary and found Palin's picture.

    • smokefilledroommate

      She can see kinda see her own face from her house–too bad her head is up her ass.

    • baconzgood

      Really? I looked up rambling idiot and saw it too. Her name was also in the thesaurus as an antonym for logic.

      • ChessieNefercat

        Gosh! I saw her pic next to "hell's own harpy."

    • tiredalways

      Nahhh… narcissist wouldn't have waited for four complete days to come up with this drivel. I would go with sociopath instead.

  • mavenmaven

    Note that she mourns the "innocents" and the "citizens who came to exchange ideas" which of course, can exclude Giffords and Role.

    • Tundra Grifter

      "Innocents," of course, being a dog whistle for the anti-womens' rights crowd.

      Speaking of which, why are the right wing nutz opposed to gay marriage and abortion? I know several gay couples (one set is about to have a baby) and to the best of my knowledge gay couples are 100% abortion-free.

      • SorosBot

        Speaking of the anti-women's rights crowd:
        http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/09/us/politics/09s

        "After another student read a poem about getting an abortion, Mr. Loughner compared the young woman to a “terrorist for killing the baby.” "

        But he was a liberal, because he smoked pot.

        • mavenmaven

          He was a liberal because the radio fascists said he was, and that's that. Just like the Nazis were liberals.

          • DoktorZoom

            As we all know, a list of book titles on the internet is all the evidence needed to understand a person.

        • genxr

          Now THAT's a blood libel!

      • DoktorZoom

        I saw a neo-nazi screed in the 80's that argued, in complete seriousness, that abortion must be opposed because most abortions are performed by gay Jewish doctors, assisted by lesbian Jewish nurses.

        • genxr

          Those neo-nazis watch some seriously weird porn videos.

        • SorosBot

          Now that actually is comparable to blood libel.

  • Come here a minute

    I have seen the liberal's liberal Al Franken draw this map from memory, without surveyor's symbols. And even Sarah knows he doesn't use children's blood in his Zionist rituals (wink, wink).

    • JoeMamased

      "And even Sarah knows he probably doesn't use Christian children's blood in his Zionist rituals (wink, wink)."

      Fixed.

  • DahBoner

    Has Palin been dipping into that Alaskan Thunderfuck?

    She looks BAKED.

    Personally, I think all of these Teabagger Treasonous assholes should be stuffed into a casserole and BAKED in an oven @ 350F until brown…

    • 4tehlulz_lite

      You know who else was thrown in an oven….

    • Steverino247

      And once brown, thrown on the other side of the border fence, no doubt!

    • crybabyboehner

      She probably hasn't slept since Saturday because even she realized that the crosshairs map slammed the door on even the remote chance she might ever hold office, which means her days as a marketable franchise are numbered.

      Also, meth.

    • crybabyboehner

      She probably hasn't slept since Saturday because even Trig realized that the crosshairs map slammed the door on any chance she would ever hold office, which means her days as a marketable franchise are numbered.

      Also, meth.

      • genxr

        She's also wondering what she's going to do with the 5,000 campaign posters she already printed. the ones with a surveyor's symbol over Obama's face.

      • Can you imagine what it must be like in that house? I mean, when she's actually there?

    • BarackMyWorld

      +1 from me just for introducing me to the term "Alaskan Thunderfuck."

      • MrsBiggTime

        Now if I can only burn through an oz. of the aforementioned Alaskan Thunderfuck I might be able to listen to that voice without shooting up an IHOP or something.

        • Crank_Tango

          I've got an order in. But I don't think it would help unless you rolled two blunts and shoved them in your ears, and even then prolly not.

        • BarackMyWorld

          If I didn't like my screen name so much, I've got a good idea of what Id change it to.

          • MrsBiggTime

            Sorry, but the handle “Alaskan Thunderfuck” is already taken, and I don't think Bristol's planning to give it up. Which will be the first thing she's refused to give up since prom.

    • DoktorZoom

      Once again we see the hateful calls for violence coming from radical leftists! I hope that Real Americans will arm themselves so that they can protect themselves from casserole-wielding liberals. As we learned in Tucson, an armed society is a polite society.

    • Oblios_Cap

      That throat is just begging to have something rammed down it.

  • SudsMcKenzie

    She didnt say anything about not being a witch, so I'll assume she is.

    • nappyduggs

      One mere consonant away from complete accuracy.

  • the_onceler

    I think that Palin thinks Gabby Giffords is being an uppity bitch.

    • jim89048

      How dare she get in the way of that bullet $arah's ambitions!

  • hockeymom

    Her adoring fan base is shrinking with each appearance.
    That is the only positive thing that can come of this.

    In the meantime, I look forward to seeing what President Obama has to say this afternoon. I'm hopeful his words will provide some comfort and sanity.
    Won't change what happened, but it will be nice to have a thoughtful grown-up speak to the country.

    • Tundra Grifter

      I agree with you. Out of this horrible tragedy will come some good – this is The Guv'Nuh's Waterloo.

  • It's a pogrom, a virtual holocaust of hate aimed at poor, pitiful Sarah. She better hide her daughters before the Cossacks break down the door.

    • How's that shooty, gunny thing working out for her?

    • Interesting on Monday when I mentioned the WSJ blood libel reference by Glen Reynolds in defense of Sarah, one person replied asking WTF "blood libel" was. Today, thanks to Sarah, we all know.

      • ChessieNefercat

        Yes. I had never heard that exact term before (if I did, I don't remember). I was certainly aware of the horrors over the centuries up to and including the Holocaust, and felt ashamed.

        I was raised in a nice vaguely flowers in your hair, birds and precious bunnies 60s-70s Catholicism, and learned that Mary was the nicest, bestest Jewish girl that ever lived, and that Jesus (her Son) was the bestest ever Jewish Guy, and that the Jewish people were especially loved by God and as such, were entitled to our respect.

        I learned that it was MY sins that put Jesus on the cross, not the Jewish people, and that I had best make sure I behaved myself lest I cause Him more pain.

        I can't imagine how on earth Palin could conceivably believe that "blood libel" was an appropriate term to use. How could she? How? This is so sickening in so many ways.

  • This speech would have been much more effective if she was polishing a gun while talking although I suspect she is one of types that needs to practice chewing gum and walking.

    • Progressiveinga

      Quite right. She should watch a Skoal Rebel vid & take notes.

    • Wadisay

      Has she thought of having someone rip the heads off turkeys in the background? Oh yeah.

    • tiredalways

      She wanted to do just that but 'HaveyoulookatToad' refused to tape it if she is anywhere near a gun

    • Neoyorquino

      Polishing a gun would have led to a massive Tea Party masturbation session. (Eww).

  • HolyMaracas

    I absolutely love Sarah's new "minimum-wage Alabama waitress" hairstyle. Good to know she is going back to her roots. I also wonder why she choose Vimeo (the main choice of liburl "hipster" types) as opposed to YouTube.

    • Mumbletypeg

      Yes, whence the bumpit? I thought it was all about "The Bigger the Hair, The Closer to God." (Something also popular in the 'bama neck of the woods as I recall).

    • Barbara_i

      That would be the coiffing style of Lurleen, from the Glamorama. She also sells Avon and ephedrine in bulk.

      • FlyOverGirl

        Or Luann from King of the Hill.

        • Since she is in fact Peggy Hill, she didn't have to go far for inspiration.

      • GOPCrusher

        +1 for the Lurleen reference.

    • xsluggo

      Going back to her “roots”? Heh, now I get it.

    • Not_So_Much

      OT, well done on the avatar. One of the best TDS bits ever.

    • MissTaken

      Because every time she types in "You…" on her browser YouPorn with Nailin Palin clips show up, donchta know?

  • Sarah is probably dismayed and flustered by the Jewish reference that people are deriving from her little fireplace chat. The world is getting complicated for Palin and she likes it simple.

  • Radiotherapy

    BULLSEYE!!1!
    Bang, Right on Target.
    You took that one down Sarah.
    Today's malapropism: Lie Babble,

  • Allmighty_Manos

    The sign of any good leader during a major tragedy — it's all about me, me, me, me!!!

    P.S. Sarah: Shut the F*** Up. A bunch of people are dead. Shut up and take the critics, I don't hear Obama whining about birthers. Thanks.

    • hockeymom

      Also a good sign of a leader?
      One who goes in to hiding for four days, then comes out with a recorded statement written by somebody else.
      THAT shows the qualities I look for in a leader.

  • YasserArraFeck

    The Inuit have more than 100 different words for snow. Interestingly, they have only one word for "asshole", and that's "selfobsessedoldfamewhorewhosefifteenminutesisrapidlyrunningout", pronounced "palin". For example, "my palin was spewing some stinky shit this morning….."

  • baconzgood

    It's like "I'm not a witch" only she's saying "seriously, I'm not a douche. I'm just like you…except a douche…Oh shit did I say that out loud?"

  • Buzz Feedback

    Lady Peggington of Noonanshire didn't write that.

    Let the beatification of St. Sarah of the Old Pueblo begin.

    • ChessieNefercat

      I believe Lady Peggington loathes Palin, unless "nincompoop" is a term of endearment.

      Come to think of it, I would listen to Lady Peggington read the entire unabridged collection of the speeches of Ronald Reagan in her soothingly gin soaked voice if it meant that I would never ever again have to hear the screech from Wasilla.

      • Agreed at least you could fall asleep listening to Aunt Peg.

  • JoshuaNorton

    Notice the eeeevil liberal TeLEproMptERz reflected in her glasses.

  • OC_Surf_Serf

    Blood libel…bloody liberal…well, close enough for Sarah

    • ChessieNefercat

      Ah. Mystery solved. Please forward to mainstream media outlets as they all seem to be scratching their heads over the accusation that they slurp Christian babies' blood for breakfast.

  • Troubledog

    Is that supposed to be Statesman Sarah? Lip gloss and a wooden, mechanical read that painstakingly overemphasizes the letter T?

  • MrsBiggTime

    I'm so glad that we can wrest control of the airwaves away from that media whore Giffords and shine the spotlight brightly once again on the true victim of Tuscon.

    • Wow. Is it possible that "Tucson" was the hidden message in the cryptic Tweet?

      T

  • DDDintensified

    Is it really almost eight minutes long? Really? What is she trying to be here? Official-looking, with the flag and the suit, like a State-of-the-Union response from the other side? And what's up with that hearth…maybe they could have picked a slightly smaller stone than that big skull head on the right? Did Todd get tired and start using boulders?

    I could never watch this…not even tempted. What I see is Sarah Palin all alone, all alone for eight minutes, in a private place broadcasting to the masses like a potentate. Is Mimeo the choice of the serious-minded, as opposed to YouTube? This all makes her seem isolated and—at eight minutes—unbelievably narcissistic.

    • At least it tells us what she was doing during those lost days when we didn't hear from her. My guess is after Mansour messed up the amateur hour radio thing, Murdoch got on it, commissioning Glenn Reynolds to do the WSJ piece and dispatching a team to get the speech in order, American flag and all. He's like a crazy billionaire trying to get his thoroughbred ready for the Derby — obsessed with all he's put into her, even if she's actually lame and not that quick.

  • freakishlywrong

    Apparently, we have a survey mark over the sight that is fisting us down.
    I'm upfisting as fast as I can.

    • OC_Surf_Serf

      …psst, right-wing trolls love anonymous fisting

    • doxastic

      Weird, that's the same thing I said last night! Different context though.

    • fuflans

      they're so effective these trolls: spend the morning reducing a completely arbitrary 'p score' on a snarky left leaning political blog.

      good thing they aren't, oh i don't know, out campaigning for their beleagured snow princess.

      • DoktorZoom

        Talk about yer silver linings!

    • DonnyKerabotsos

      I suspect that the downfisting troll is employing an extended capacity downfisting magazine.

  • I watched the video and then got down on my knees to pray to JAYS-SUS that at least one person in the country understood the real meaning of the otherwise senseless shootings in Tucson:

    I hope the rest of the world now understands that the real victim is Sarah Palin.

  • DaSandman

    What a tremendous wannabe Presidential twat she is. She's poised for complete Tea Bag victimhood AND has completely pissed off the Jews too.

    The deuce!

    • mavenmaven

      Her Jewish teabag supporters will say, "look, she acknowledged that there were blood libels" or some pathetic self immolating bs along those lines.

  • CookiE_MonstA

    Holly projection Sara. Is she implying that her critics are saying that she, a christian, has ritualized the blood of a Jewish woman? She condemns finger pointing while pointer her finger at the finger pointers. She suggests that individuals should take responisbility for their actions while denying that her actions have any role in the acidity of the pundits and journalists, which she is ever since she left the governors mansion. What a hypocrite.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    In soul stealing fistfights, the Devil always wins due to his extraordinary evil power (with the exception of the Charlie Daniel's Band song).

    I think Sarah could beat Old Scratch now. I know she gives me an itch right in the old colon.

    • Tundra Grifter

      Read "The Devil and Daniel Webster." Ole Dan'l beat him like a rented mule.

  • EdFlintstone

    "Like many, I’ve spent the past few days reflecting on what happened and praying for guidance." I have found that not only am I not remorseful but that I, Sarah Palin, am the true victim in this tragedy.

  • KochFembot

    Snowbilly Grifter's flying monkeys are here, passing out the thumbs down. I just went through and gave the thumbs up to everyone.

    I wish I had the kind of time these fools have.

  • Terry

    I was kind of hoping that flag had some gold fringe on it.

    • AutomaticPilot

      Or at the very least, a Goldline ad.

  • Got through all 7 minutes of that bullshit without throwing up, thanks to not eating breakfast. My God, the hypocrisy and stupidity of this bitch! After spending 3 years dog whistling to the militias, crackpots and racists, she's forced by circumstances to finally think about the fact that maybe that's not a great idea, and has to make "with our votes" explicit, while lying about what people like her intended in the first place. And then to pretend that rightwingers have supported the right to unpopular speech, and that they weren't willingly giving up rights they didn't even have after 9/11, if it would protect them from the Godless Muslims! This is one long, disgusting blood libel sausage.

    • elviouslyqueer

      I made it to 2:02, right after the mention of Reagan and, presumably, right before Sarah spontaneously orgasmed.

    • BerkeleyBear

      Gotta love the Ground Zero Mosque attacker start talking about how we didn't collectively lose our shit after 9/11. You know, like how saying anything vaguely Arabic sounding was enough to get your ass kicked, particularly if you were darker than Wonder Bread. Or how criticizing any aspect of Bush's response was treason, even when he started going after countries with nothing to do with the attacks.

  • SorosBot

    That's just a lot of weaseling out of responsibility there; and like when conservatives scream "race card! Political correctness!" whenever someone points out they said something racist, she's trying to make accurately blaming people for incitement as worse than the actual incitement. And then there's this:

    "Acts of monstrous criminality stand on their own. They begin and end with the criminals who commit them, not collectively with all the citizens of a state, not with those who listen to talk radio, not with maps of swing districts used by both sides of the aisle, not with law-abiding citizens who respectfully exercise their First Amendment rights at campaign rallies, not with those who proudly voted in the last election."

    Yeah, conservatives always act like that; for example, they made sure to blame 9/11 only on the nineteen hijackers and not every single one of the billion Muslims in the world. Fuck, Palin herself claimed that Obama being an acquaintance of a member of the Weathermen meant he was basically a terrorists and responsible for acts committed when he was ten years old.

    Fucking hypocritical shitbag.

    • Operation Cover My Frozen Ass Epic FAIL.

    • Sue4466

      Oh, and they also blamed Clinton for 9/11. Because they're all about personal responsibility.

    • petehammer

      Came here to say the exact same thing after hearing that on NPR this morning. I remember her outrage over Assange and how he'd have blood on his hands if our soldiers were killed. But what about acts of monstrous criminality standing on their own?

      Also, does this mean she's now okay with the "(not located at the) Ground Zero (and also not a) Mosque"? After all, acts of criminality "begin and end with the criminals who commit them, not collectively with all the citizens of a state."

      • SorosBot

        Monstrous act of criminality begin and end with the criminals who commit them – if the criminal is a conservative or a Christian (fundamentalist variety only).

    • BarackMyWorld

      Liberals are the real hypocrites because they preach tolerance, but are intolerant of intolerance dontchaknow.

    • not with law-abiding citizens who respectfully exercise their First Amendment rights at campaign rallies,

      That clause alone is evidence of how clueless she still is. No one is arguing about restricting First Amendment rights, just that you are responsible for the things you say. I don't even need to watch the other 7:40, the three seconds it probably took her to say that pretty much sums it all up.

      • ChessieNefercat

        Shrieking at your congresscritter, and yelling down everyone with a different opinion, and bringing guns to a meeting about healthcare is "respectfully" exercising First Amendment rights?

        She must have been raised by rabid jackals.

        • So now you're libeling jackals?

          • ChessieNefercat

            Sigh. You're correct of course. She must have been raised by Palins?

  • doxastic

    Honey, no one is maliciously making an ass out of you. You're doing it to yourself.

  • WhatTheHolyHeck

    I want to punch those 9,000 people who "Like"d that post.

    In the spleen.

  • I don't hear anything, but I can't get the dog to settle down…

    • Troubledog

      Yeah it's just chock full of home schooled dog whistling. It was like a 700 Club audition tape.

    • tiredalways

      Best comment of the day :)

  • ttommyunger

    Needz moar blood, dueling and flags… Only TWO 'Merikan Flags? Sarah, why do you hate 'Merika so much?

    • EdFlintstone

      And only 1 Reagan reference?—RINO. Is that the first address ever from the Wasilla whitehouse from a non-office holder? Oh, and one more thing—-TELEPROMPTERZ!!

  • jodyleek

    Hey dipshit, are you going to invade Poland in the spring and can you see it from your house?

  • bitchincamaro2

    Fuck you and your moronic, mythical American Exceptionalism, SP. And shove that teleprompter up your fat ass.

  • ChessieNefercat

    I see perfectly fine comments with 0 thumbs up. What is happening?

    • petehammer

      Breitbart finally defeated the professional left.

      And by that I mean, some of his trolls are over here marking comments down. I can't believe McDonalds employees can use the free wi-fi during work hours.

  • bflrtsplk

    That's not a skull head. It's Putin "rearing his head" so our dear Sarah can see it from whatever planet might have played host to this little set piece. What hath becometh of our lamentable Peggington Noonington, anyway?

  • elviouslyqueer

    So, in sum, disingenuous attention whore is disingenuous.

  • bitchincamaro2

    At 3:29, "pundints". She said it. She really did.

    • Katydid

      She also said "monster-ous."

      • problemwithcaring

        I think the teleprompter committed blood libel against her.

        • SorosBot

          But according to her, Obama's the only politician in American history to ever use a teleprompter.

    • GregComlish

      * Oh No She "Didints!" * snap

    • widestanceroman

      Heard a bit of the speech on C-span as the alarm went off this morning, and rushed to silence the hideous voice, but not before I heard "i-dills." Winning the lottery could not save my day after hearing that.

  • Dr_Zoidberg

    Please, please, please, please….GO AWAY SARAH PALIN!!!! You are inconsequential and worth less then what I scoop from my cats' litter boxes.

  • I stand in awe of those able to listen to almost eight minutes of her speaking. That voices sounds like the scream of a live turkey as it is fed into the turkey grinding machine, except worse.

    I would rather hear eight hours of silverware dropped into a running In-sink-erator brand kitchen garbage disposer.

    • petehammer

      Grind grind grind grind grind grind screeeeeeeeeee scriiiiiiitch
      -Tweeted 3 hours ago by In-Sink-Erator
      Retweeted by 400 people

      You're right, it's far more coherent and grammatically on point.

    • Tundra Grifter

      Dennis the Menace said his garbage disposal would eat a rootbeer bottle. When I was a kid the plumber made the mistake of telling me the one he'd just installed in our kitchen could do that. Why yes, I did ask him.

      Fortunately, my Mom never let me try it…

  • Billmatic

    Sometimes I wonder if Sarah knows she's not the president.

    • 4tehlulz_lite

      She's the President of the Real American government-in-exile.

      Shit, I just realized she may actually believe this. I hope Barry is wearing an extra layer of Kevlar.

      • Progressiveinga

        Does that make Todd the Imelda Marcos of Real America?

        • genxr

          How many pairs of snow shoes does he have?

        • Yeah, but he probably gets by with one pair of steel toe boots.

      • horsedreamer_1

        She's the Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador of American politics.

        I cannot wait for her broken English summit with the above named, regarding NAFTA renegotiations.

    • DoktorZoom

      Maybe it would be enough to simply tell her that she IS President, and then let her live in the set where they filmed "The West Wing." Then just seal her away in her very own Holodeck memory module, like Data did with his accidental creation of Dr. Moriarty in "Elementary, Dear Data (TNG, Episode 2×03, first aired 5 December 1988).

      • The nerd is right, you know.

      • jus_wonderin

        ST:TNG! LOL

  • smokefilledroommate

    Wonder if Bris is gonna sell that house..

  • hagajim

    I can't watch it because of work….but I don't want to watch it either. She's an aggravating, irritating twat and I hope to God she just disappears into the Alaskan outback. Cunt!

  • HolyMaracas

    4 days (since the massacre)…that's how long it took Sarah to put 7 minutes of uninterrupted bullshit together without fucking it up (too badly).

  • What kinda dressing do you put on a word salad like that? Not ranch – though it was ranchy, nor blue cheese – though it was cheesy. It was clearly acidic, so a vinaigrette? Maybe wafu, or even better WTF.

    • Barbara_i

      It was just straight up vinegar and water.

      • AutomaticPilot

        Yup! What could be more fitting for a douche?

    • Isn't Ranch dressing America's new favourite soft drink?

  • bflrtsplk

    That's not a skull head. It's Putin "rearing his head"so our dear Sarah can see it from whatever planet might have played host to this little set piece. What hath becometh of our lamentable Pegington Noonington

  • NewtsChicknNeck

    rush limbaugh: some [i] would say this kid was motivated by leftist elements.
    sarah palin: it's also been reported that this kid was motivated by leftist elements.

    /fixed.

  • DoktorZoom

    "Acts of monstrous criminality stand on their own. They begin and end with the criminals who commit them…"

    I, for one, am glad to see that she no longer opposes the Cordoba Center. After all, it would be ridiculous to smear all members of a world religion with responsibility for the acts of nineteen terrorist fanatics.

    • Terry

      Bookmark that quote and lets see how long it takes her to act in exact opposition to it.

  • tribbzthesquidz

    Sorry Sarah. I don't care what you have to say and I can get face-fucked by vampire bats for 7 minutes elsewhere if I so need.

  • NorthStarSpanx

    "If you don't like a person's vision for the country, you're free to debate that vision. If you don't like their ideas, you're free to propose better ideas."

    Yet the C Word woman doesn't have the guts to go live with Q&A in this vein? Her carefully controlled narrative reflected in her glasses as usual, rings hallow.

    When does Sarah 2.0 start on her desperate new image already?

    • doxastic

      But when the debate is between whether or not someone should kill the Kenyan Muslim Marxist Usurper, or whether we should go through the process of trial for treason and then execution, something has gone horribly awry.

    • ChessieNefercat

      "When does Sarah 2.0 start on her desperate new image already? "
      Why, I believe she thinks she just did.

  • Sue4466

    She displays the same narcissism/sociopathic tendenceis of Bush, who thought the worst thing of his presidency was his hurt feelings when Kanye West called him racist or that he suffered more than anyone else over Iraq. She has taken a tragedy for the shooting victims and made it about her. She is saddened she's being blamed, but where is her grief for the injured, the dead, and their families? Her main concern is that she not look bad. And she's pretty fucking defensive about it too.

    Ed Shultz said last night that the reason we hadn't heard from Palin in the days after the shooting was because it was not acceptable to engage in the meanspirited & toxic rhetoric that is her only skill. Without being able to go to her regular bag of tricks, she literally had nothing to say. This video proves he was right.

    And of course she would do this on the day of the memorial service.

    • ChessieNefercat

      "And of course she would do this on the day of the memorial service. "

      Look at MEEEEEEEEEEE! Damn you, look at MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

  • I'm waiting for Bryan Fischer to put out an editorial that references Muscular Christ and blames everything on a lack thereof.

    • doxastic

      If only Jesus had been there with His semiautomatic, this might never have happened.

      • jus_wonderin

        Muscular Christ was at the gym.

  • SheriffRoscoe

    "You must go to them, Sarah. Speak to them. Comfort them. They need to hear from you. Use your words. Use your…..um……voice……to let them know that they weren't wrong for "casting their lot" with you, to use a phrase that has no historical or etymological significance, but just has a nice ring to it."

  • Troubledog

    I hope the rapture happens when she's on a live shot somewhere. The look on her face watching everybody else go to heaven will be precious.

    • GregComlish

      TRIG get the FUCK back down here!! YOU ARE NOT LEAVING ME HERE LIKE THIS! YOU UNGRATEFUL RETARDED SHIT!!!

  • hagajim

    God save me…I read the pile of steaming crap that passed for St. Sarah's statement….now I want to rip my eyes out so I can't ever see anything that bitch has to say again. Fuck!

    • GOPCrusher

      Even more repulsive are the ball-washing comments that follow.
      "Please Sarah, run for President"? Are you fucking kidding me?
      Just for typing that, you should probably consider enjoying a Drano-D Con Cocktail. It's obvious that you are too stupid to waste oxygen on.

  • MLite

    If these things stand on their own, then they can never complain about the heavy metals and the raps again.

  • The dumb cunt actually outsmarted herself. In the course of defensively pretending she and others weren't profiting politically and monetarily from seditious speech, she had to go on record that free speech is protected and civil liberties shouldn't be sacrificed for security. And she is probably really pleased with herself that she somehow put it all back on the liberals!

    • DoktorZoom

      She's less worried about infringements on free speech than about infringements on the sacred right to have as many fucking guns with as many fucking bullets as possible.

    • Cicada

      Ah, but she also blamed the media for "inciting" violence with their criticism of Saint Sarah.

      Logic is in a corner licking it's wounds right now.

      • LetUsBray

        Of COURSE criticizing Dumbelina incites violence: Now she has to say a whole bunch more hateful shit to deflect said criticism, which will stir up the crazies to commit more violence. Doncha see how it's all the lamestream media's fault?

  • Katydid

    Ya know, as a Jew, I'm usually inured to anti-Semitic comments, I've heard so many, but this gets me pretty goddammed mad. It's hard to understand how you get to be 45, with a college degree, and not know what blood libel is, or have an inkling that it's a horrible thing. How stupid -ignorant?- do you have to be not to look up a phrase that you've never heard of?

    We can expect some twat outta her tomorrow telling us to embrace the new usage of a horrible, horrible, horrible term. A lot of Jews died because of that term, a lot were terrorized, for hundreds of years.

    Ah, sorry. This is not something I can accept with snark. This is not some minor mistake.

    • I will wear my Under Armor Battle Skull Cap today in solidarity with you. (Closest thing in my wardrobe to a yarmulke…) But will probably get my ass kicked by crackers who think I'm a muslim.

      • Katydid

        Thanks, Chet. Don't you have an old suit somewhere that you once wore to a Bar Mitzvah? It's sure to have a yarmulke in one of the pockets!

    • YasserArraFeck

      There might be a few gaps in that "college degree" she cobbled together during her perambulations through…..four?…five?…colleges. Anyway, why would she need all that Jew stuff? Jews are for handling the money – it's not like they're Real 'Merkins or anything.

      • LetUsBray

        Right, according to the blog palingates, it's highly questionable whether she really has that college degree (But remember: asking about the president's birth certificate is legitimate; ask about this, though, and just see how much blood gets shat on you).

    • DoktorZoom

      Oh, come on now, why so selfish? Don't you see that Sarah simply recognizes that the sufferings of Jews in the pogroms and the Holocaust ARE serious, very, very serious!

      Almost as serious as the suffering she has experienced because some evil people have suggested that violent campaign rhetoric is not healthy.

    • BlueStateLibel

      Take comfort from the fact that she's just done herself in with this, no TLC show (cancelled before anyway), no more books, and the Repub bigwigs are all backpedalling furiously away from her…

    • CrankyLttlCamperette

      From The Guardian:

      "The blood libel refers specifically to perhaps the most notorious verse in the Bible: Matthew 27:25, which has been used by some Christians to persecute Jews for nearly 2,000 years. That it should be used by an avowedly Christian politician about a Jewish one just takes crassness and insensitivity to a new level."

      We respond to inflammatory rhetoric with…inflammatory rhetoric? I'm going back to bed. Sorry, no snark today.

    • The WAPO Fact Checker smacked the Snowbillie on this as well. Palin is not capable of thinking beyond first person.

    • doxastic

      As she lays her head down to sleep, Sarah thinks "now I know what the Shoah felt like."

      • DoktorZoom

        We should expect another video on Yom HaShoah, in which she complains that the sufferings of the Snowbillies have not been given sufficient attention.

  • ivenson

    I heard Bill Kristol the other day say something to the effect "when has political speech not been heated"…he referenced terms that both sides might use in a campaign like "targeted" and "take aim". That was pretty annoying equivocation.

    It's interesting that when Sarah tries the same rhetorical flourish, her example of heated political speech is that politicians used to duel one another WITH GUNS.

    Her sense of history seems to be FOUNDING FATHERS>REAGAN>2008. Everything in between is off the map and there be dragons.

    • Yeah, that line about dueling was the verbal equivalent of wishing a Happy Thanksgiving while unknowingly standing in front of a guy crushing a turkey's head.

    • petehammer

      Excuse me, I believe you mean "thar be dragons!"

    • zhubajie

      So who will challenge her to a duel and attempt to blow what passes for brains out?

  • NewtsChicknNeck

    when does bachmann get a chance to clarify her hate speech? and while election losing wingnuts are at, what about sharron angle and her exercise of her second amendment remedies? i guess she's busy developing this kid's legal defense.

    • genxr

      In all fairness to Bachmann, she was talking about slitting her own wrists. I don't imagine I would be as upset if her supporters took her suggestion literally.

    • problemwithcaring

      Shorter Sharron Angle: The *real* danger is blaming me for anything.

  • ShaveTheWhales

    What you said. I'm not Jewish, but nevertheless consider her misuse of the term, in this context, to put this particular steaming pile of word salad among the most genuinely offensive things she's ever blurted out.

  • Steverino247

    Sarah Palin, the thinnest skinned politician in American history. Olympia Snowe and Hillary Clinton, two women with different political views, get mud thrown at them all the time, yet they continue to work to promote those views. Sarah comes up with "blood libel" over this?

    Sarah, call me when they accuse you of murdering Vince Foster, ok?

    • Gorillionaire

      A+

    • WriteyWriterton

      FTW.

  • Ok Alaska we need for you to take your idiot back shes contaminating EVERYTHING

    As to her followers that still believe(the world is flat, dinosaurs played with the cavepeople)
    Get a boat and go sailing and fall off…..

    Is there a universe where this famewhore and her minions dont exist- please send directions

    • jus_wonderin

      "Is there a universe where this famewhore and her minions dont exist- please send directions"

      While there are infinite universes, I prefer to believe there is one where she stepped on a rake, it flipped up hitting her in the face, thereby knocking her backward where she slipped on a banana peel then tumbled on the tundra until she feel in to a deep (martian scale) crevasse…the end. All we gotta do is rupture time/space.

  • jus_wonderin

    It is really to early for me to listen to Ms. Twat given that I can't drink at work. I guess I could do drugs to get through her ramblings.

  • MsElla

    You're welcome. Oh, I understand the pissed offedness of it all.

  • user-of-owls

    Blood drivel.

  • Extemporanus

    You're done, you dumb cunt, and no days late, eight minute long, videotaped passive aggressive non-apology dripping with jingoist word-jism is going to change that shit now.

    Fuck the fuck off.

  • Iam_Who_Iam

    If I had run for political office and my campaign had put up a similar “target” map and someone cited on that map had been shot, how would I react? I imagine I’d be incredibly remorseful regardless of any innocent intent I may have had. I think any comments I made would include my deepest regret that I had ever used the map and no shortage of apologies that it may have in any way been seen as a call to violence.

    But I’m just a douche liberal, so never mind.

    • widestanceroman

      After ruining the nation, all the Repubs mustered was a brushed-off "We lost our way [but never mind that. . ."]. Note how "Me" takes up half of a 4-word sentence as a response to a national near-collapse. They are incapable of fault or blame for anything ever, because they are divinely correct at all times.

    • tiredalways

      But they again, you would have used your brain and wouldn't have used that f*ing target map in the first place, either. So, yup..never mind

  • This is unbelievable. Politico has an article that actually analyzes (or has the form of an analysis) of her statement as if it was actually a political speech or anything worth commenting upon.

    They run an except and then a paragraph breaking it down as if Palin was a person that anyone with more than one brain cell took seriously.

    Why not transcribe and then comment on the ramblings of one of the guys living under the bridge? It would make as much sense.

    • Progressiveinga

      As someone who works with the guys living under the bridge, believe me when I tell you they what they ramble on about is much more profound than anything ever to cross the perma-tattooed lips of Tranny Spice.

  • undeterredbyreality

    Sarah–please explain the apparent conflict between following two assertions:
    Hate speech by the right cannot incite anyone to anything.
    Anti-hate speech by the left incites everyone to violence.

    Apparently the right is totally ineffective, so why don't you just STFU!

    • greypanter

      But hat speech by the right resulted in massive loss of life of people who were not Palin, and anti-hate speech by the left hurt Palin's feelings, so they are equivalent.

  • MistaEko

    If there was ever a vid that deserved a vote on funny or die…

    • Progressiveinga

      I was thinking that the vid should be Autotuned.

  • Tundra Grifter

    I'm not going to form a considered opinion about this until I read what Meghan McCans has to say about it.

  • neiltheblaze

    Yes, that's right, acts of monstrous criminality happen in a vacuum, and absolutely spring spontaneously out of nowhere. Of course.

    • ChessieNefercat

      Well then how can the silly bitch whine that what the Democrats (and every other thinking person) is saying is an incitement to violence?

      I thought words had no impact? Gah.

      • neiltheblaze

        The silly bitch in question whines when she asks for someone to pass the butter at the dinner table. And logic is for cowards. Lock and reload.

        I want my country back.

      • GOPCrusher

        It will be interesting to see how her minions spin this, since they have dedicated themselves since Sunday telling anyone that would listen that Congressperson Giffords was shot because of the constant stream of liberal hate speech.
        And now you have Glenn Beck telling Bible Spice that she should hire protection because of the liberals hateful rhetoric will cause someone to assassinate her and bring down the Republic.

  • Ancient_Hackery

    When physicists unexpectedly discovered the muon, a particle that acts a lot like an electron, only 220 times heavier, I.I. Rabi asked "Who ordered that?"

    Same thing with Sarah's latest dropping– was anyone longing for her to chime in?

    "Who ordered THAT bunch of self-serving, deceitful babble?"

  • BlueStateLibel

    Glad to see her putting the final nail in her coffin all by herself. She really is toast now.

  • DonnyKerabotsos

    It's obvious that Sarah has a lot of work to do to restore her image in the eyes of the American people. Maybe a reality sho—

    oh…

  • widestanceroman

    Like some others here, I suffer from PIT (Palin-Induced Tourette's) and cannot risk the yelling of the c-word here at work by listening to her speech. Did Lady Esther finally ask what we're all wondering: when will Ms. Giffords apologize to Mr. Loughner for getting shot in the brain?

    • I'm sure Ginny Thomas has already left a voicemail at the hospital.

    • ChessieNefercat

      "Did Lady Esther finally ask what we're all wondering: when will Ms. Giffords apologize to Mr. Loughner for getting shot in the brain? "

      Ah, yes, come to think of it. Pretty much.

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      Yes, how dare that unAmerican librul get in the way of that righteously fired bullet!

  • mrbubb

    Today's alt-text for the win (though I wouldn't go in there if I were you)!

  • JustPixelz

    The Tucson shooting shone an unflattering light on the behavior of Sarah Palin and many others who thought it was fun to use the language of revolution to rally the angry Tea Party conservatives. Language that included cross-hairs, Second Amendment remedies, WWII analogies (including Obama/Hitler imagery).

    Man up Sarah. Once the shooting started, collateral damage was inevitable.

  • Pragmatist2

    "Blood libel"??
    I thought she said "lewd Bible" and was fondly recalling those passages.

  • carlgt1

    I love it – so someone at wonkette had to step through every frame of this tedious 8 minute speech to get the most erotic image of Sarah as a frame-grab!

    • undeterredbyreality

      Umm… This is her most erotic image? I'd say it captures her Trig-side pretty well.

  • AutomaticPilot

    Too much eyeliner. Instead of looking "Presidentiary," she looks like she's dressed in last night's clothes ready to embark on yet another walk of shame.

    Oh, and she doesn't know the meaning of "irony," also, too.

  • PsycWench

    SOMEBODY didn't get an "A" in acting class at <strikethrough>University of Hawaii</strikethrough> <strikethrough>Hawaiian Pacific University</strikethrough> <strikethrough>North Idaho College </strikethrough> <strikethrough>Matanuska-Susitna College </strikethrough> University of Idaho.

  • CUNextTuesday

    *rips own head off and throws out window*

  • Exactly what is the politically correct euphemism for "cunt"?

    • Mama Grizzly.

    • genxr

      Mrs McCain?

    • ChessieNefercat

      Yes, we really do need one. How about "Palin"?

    • NewtsChicknNeck

      mama grizzly.

    • ChessieNefercat

      Good question. We need one. How about "Palin"?

    • PuckStopsHere

      Sarah Palin.

  • J Rbt. Oppenheiner

    Blaming the map issue on both sides. Honey, it was YOU. She just cannot accept personal responsibility, at all, can she?

    And, by her inference, we shouldn't blame 9/11 on radical Islam, but instead just on the individual Osama Bin Laden, amirite? Also.

    • SorosBot

      Of course it's both sides; after all, Kos used the word "bullseye" in reference to targets in primaries which included Giffords, and a conservative blogger added an image of a bullseye; that's the exact same thing as Palin using gun sights on her district!

  • J Rbt. Oppenheiner

    She's looking a bit … tired, isn't she?

    • CrankyLttlCamperette

      Obscure but awesome. Pee points for you!

    • He is the oncoming storm you know.

  • undeterredbyreality

    Sharon Angle has now supported Sarah's logic on this:
    "Expanding the context of the attack to blame and to infringe upon the people's Constitutional liberties is both dangerous and ignorant," she said. "The irresponsible assignment of blame to me, Sarah Palin or the Tea Party movement by commentators and elected officials puts all who gather to redress grievances in danger."

    Paraphrase: Our words can't incite violence against you, but yours can incite violence against us.

    • DoktorZoom

      Egad! Liberals are resorting to First Amendment Remedies!

    • genxr

      Paraphrase of the paraphrase: Next time WE bring OUR guns to a political rally, someone might get the wrong idea and WE might get hurt. Waaaaah!

      • undeterredbyreality

        Paraphrase of the paraphrase of the paraphrase:

        "I know you are but what am I?"

    • SorosBot

      Grr. Learn the Constitution; no one is infringing anybody's Constitutional liberties (well OK Bob Brady is trying); criticism is not censorship moron.

      • undeterredbyreality

        Thanks for pointing out another inconsistency here:

        Your criticism of our hate speech infringes our rights, but we can freely tell you to stop criticizing us without infringing on yours.

        Gawd. The idiocy.

        "The horror. The horror."

  • undeterredbyreality

    Speaking of irrelevant dumb losers, why haven't we heard from Christine O'Donnell yet?

    • SorosBot

      She's a little busy talking to the FBI.

    • FlyOverGirl

      Yeah, we've heard from Angle. Where are X-tine and Bachmann?

      "Expanding the context of the attack to blame and to infringe upon the people's Constitutional liberties is both dangerous and ignorant. The irresponsible assignment of blame to me, Sarah Palin or the Tea Party movement by commentators and elected officials puts all who gather to redress grievances in danger."~Sharron Angle

      Angle, sugarplum, this would be the Tea Party that mistakenly targeted the brother of Rep. Tom Perriello. A Tea Party website listed Perriello's brother address as that of the Congressman and told their members to pay the Congressman a visit and "thank" him for his health care vote. Perriello's brother received threatening letters and someone cut the line to a built in gas grill; presumably to blow up the house. But hey, nothing violent in the Tea Party.

    • genxr

      She's busy putting on her man pants.

    • ChessieNefercat

      One imbecile a day, please.

    • natoslug

      There's only so much space on the cross. Christine needs to wait her turn. Although I'd like to remind them all that it's fucking cold outside and we need the wood.

  • FlyOverGirl

    Great timing doing this 15 hours before our President's speech and on a slow news day. Yet again, you, and you alone, get the win on making yourself look like an imbecile. Thanks!

  • genxr

    That settles it. We can all publish advertisements with gun sights on our political opponents. All we want. There's no harm, and blood libel to anyone who says otherwise. Thanks Sarah!

  • thefrontpage

    It's amazing someone has not sat down with Palin and intelligently, intellectually and seriously discussed with her how much of a regal, royal embarrassement, disappointment and outrage she really is to this country, to government, to politics and to basic, normal, rational common sense. Everything this woman says is moronic, idiotic, irrational and just plain embarrassing. Her continued attacks on the media continue to display just how wayward, psychotic, idiotic and uneducated she really is. She is wrong about the media, of course. The real issues that need to be discussed and addressed here are mental illness, the proper treatment of the mentally ill, the issue of the mentally ill and guns, gun control in general, and related public health, gun, weapons and health care issues. Those are the real issues here, and these are the real issues that need to be discussed–not the media, and not journalists. In fact, the media and journalists are non-factors here.

    • undeterredbyreality

      You: "It's amazing someone has not sat down with Palin and intelligently, intellectually and seriously discussed with her how much of a regal, royal embarrassement, disappointment and outrage…"

      Palin: "Oooh, shiny!" *yawn*

    • ChessieNefercat

      Thoughtful post. Her response:
      Why don't you love yer freedums? And why did you want me to abort Trig? Why do you hate the disabled?

  • thefrontpage

    Palin is a poseur, she is incredibly ignorant about basic government and politics, and she should stick to popular culture, not government and politics, as her vocation. She is simply an embarrassment. So is Limbaugh, too, who should also resign from public broadcasting–he is also a complete, thorough embarrassment to this country.

  • Your move, Sara Benincasa!

  • An_Outhouse

    You know who else releases video messages for their minions?

    • problemwithcaring

      You know, Wonkbot can you hear you…

  • So I'm just checking the news for the first time today and I see this story and I'm not even surprised. Blood libel? Yeah, she's that low and that self-involved and that immature.

    And of course she released it before Obama speaks at the memorial in Tucson today, so now all the fucking pundits will be comparing the two speeches and wondering if he knocked it out of the park and made himself look like the bigger person and yadda yadda yadda. When of course it should be about the victims, not about which politician scored more leadership points.

    God I think I'm going back to bed.

  • DDDintensified

    Well, I guess there's no escape…MSNBC just ran the whole thing. It's clear she hasn't brought in anyone of political skill to advise her in these matters. Not because the content is inflammatory, but because the whole thing is so overlong and relentlessly banal. If you have something to say, make it worthwhile. Someone needed to edit this thing into about a third of its length. It is BORING, and she just can't keep up a tone of grief or gravitas for eight minutes. If it weren't so unfocused, we might be talking about more than just the incendiary "blood libel" comment…now it's all that stands out.

  • Eve8Apples

    I propose a new Wonkette rule…. Whenever the Snowbilly or her children are pictured on Wonkette, a crosshair Blingee should be placed on their foreheads because only the lamestream librule media would object to such imagery.

    • glamourdammerung

      I would prefer if they used surveyor marks instead.

      • natoslug

        I'd prefer if they'd use a live surveyor. Naked, and with dysentery.

  • satyricrash

    Print out your own sociopathic scorecard and play at home:
    http://www.sociopathicstyle.com/traits/classic.ht

    • SorosBot

      Of the first 16, she meets every one except for having charm.

  • ChessieNefercat

    "Sarah Palin Delivers Annual State of Hateful Charlatan Provocation Address"

    Excellent headline. Shorter version:
    "Sarah Palin Delivers Annual State of the Cunt Address"

    • Steverino247

      The State of the Cunt is moist and somewhat hairy? Like that?

  • Groupshrug

    ( quickly mumbles) terriblecuntsezwhat?

  • ChessieNefercat

    "…I hope he doesn't forget to mention Sarah first."

  • Limeylizzie

    Shorter Sarah Palin , "Hello, I am a cunt, everyone knows I am a cunt, but don't call me a cunt, Praise Jesus"

    • Did I once snark 'I'd hit it?'
      I wouldn't.'
      I couldn't

  • DangerHelvetica

    Enough with the blood libel, already! This is like some sort of inquisition, a political kristallnacht if you will. The holocaust.

  • Steverino247

    In the future, everyone will bitch about Sarah Palin for fifteen minutes.

    A day.

    At least.

    Can America ask for a restraining order or something? Class action suit forcing her to shut the fuck up? People vs. Sarah Palin?

  • JoeMamased

    Of course, since she's obviously now the victim of a blood libel.

  • DemonicRage

    OK. First she comes up with the word "Death Panels," and we wind up debating that word for–what?–a year and a half. Now she's come up with "Blood Libel." This woman is a phenomenon. She gets to set the agenda for all of us. We are her flying monkeys!

  • teebob2000

    Tapper?? I hardly knew 'er!

  • Limeylizzie

    Mr. Limeylizzie, who lives on Wonkette as "LookaSheep", just yelled down from the loft "We live in a perpetual, hysterical shitstorm", nicely put I thought.

    • natoslug

      Any chance we can generate alternative energy from the perpetual hysterical shitstorm machine? Then we wouldn't need Alaska. Or Texas.

  • Redhead

    Uggg. I made it 21 seconds and couldn't finish.

    Why does she keep emphasizing innocent victims? Is she trying to imply that some of them weren't innocent and deserved it? (Or does she actually go on to say that outright, anyone who listened further than 21 seconds? Cause I wouldn't put it past her… anything for more attention)

  • prommie

    "I have a constitutional liberties that says noone can tell me to shut up, so shut up."

  • TheHigherSpread

    Sarah Palin collects the blood of gunned-down nine-year-olds to further her political career, pass it on.

  • TheHigherSpread

    Also, the only way this could be more offensive is if she declared a final solution against her critics.

  • Sue4466

    This is nothing more than a campaign commercial. She’s trying awfully hard to look “presidential.” She really did set the stage as an alternative presidential address, with the flag, the fireplace, the "May God bless America" ending. And she's doing it the same day as the real President is speaking to the memorial service. I don't think any of that is an accident. She's all about image, nothing about substance.

    It's like the snuff film she did of the caribou on TLC. She's willing to step on the bodies of anyone for the sake of her campaign and her ego.

    I would hope that it would backfire as people realize that her bitterness doesn't match the "presidential" set she's sitting in. But my guess is her fans will continue to think she's just super. And she’s managed to get the attention on herself, the goal of all media whores.

    • TheHigherSpread

      She is the shadow president for Rulllll 'Muricah that elected her pressdent in 2008. She got uh shadow cabbbnet and shadow peeeoople and everuthung.

    • Indeed. Naked opportunism.

      Like a nobody state senator calling the Tucson assassination a good platform from which to push his lame-duck vetoed expansion of the Castle Doctrine.

      Not that that happened. Nobody could be THAT despicable.

  • aguacatero

    Sarah Palin, by the fireside,

    Shat.

    • nappyduggs

      I really just almost spat tea across the coffee shop. Many thanks be to you.

  • DoktorZoom

    American dressing? Ranch. As in clearing brush. Like Reagan did. You know, Sarah loves Reagan?

  • GOPCrusher

    I do agree with her. "It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions."
    So Sarah, stand ready for the FBI to pick you up. You wouldn't be more responsible if you would have pulled the trigger yourself.

  • Esther Palin's suffering lies somewhere between teh Jewz and three Jesuses being crucified at once.

  • GOPCrusher

    The simple fact that she felt it necessary to have her staff write up something so she could attempt to divert responsibility from this terrorist action, should probably tell America that someone probably explained to her that, yes, she can be held responsible for it.

    • OneYieldRegular

      "I din't do it," she says, and she throws up her hands. "I was only robbin' the register, I hope you understand."

  • chascates

    Hey, let's go back to settling disputes with dueling pistols.

    Palin & Andrew Sullivan first.

  • Penis_Vagina

    I refuse to watch it, but I'll give it one whore diamond for at least being out there.

    Odd how she releases a video…why not sit down with someone at Fox? I bet she prolly also sent a blood libel e-card to the victims, too. Also.

    Judging from the reaction, sounds like maybe they should have run blood libel by the fundy focus group before they wrote that in…

    hacks. pathetic hacks.

    • BlueStateLibel

      I thought the same thing–why not do this on Fox? But I think even they're getting wary of her.

  • greypanter

    Is there a stiff breeze blowing in her office, or did she soak the flag in hairspray to get the "long may it wave" look?

  • BarackMyWorld

    Fuck this bitch.

    Wait….guys….I didn't mean for you to form a line! Geez, you horndogs.

    • NorthStarSpanx

      Am I to guess that it's equally hard for her critics as it is for her horn-dog admirers to imagine a good BJ with her jaw always clenched and lips pursed to nothingness. . .not enough tongue dancing inside her mouth this time.

  • Kidneys4Sale

    Fuck sakes, man, how would you be able to tell?

  • guangho

    I didn't see the video. If anybody who wants to go on suicide watch is out there, can you transcribe for me?

  • GOPCrusher

    Sadly enough, Bible Spice probably doesn't grasp the concept that any further political aspirations she may have, are now D.O.A..

    • zhubajie

      Naah, her fans are still fans. Partisan fools are still partisan fools. She's as electable as ever — unfortunately.

  • carlgt1

    What is Caribou Barbie complaining about? There is documented evidence out there that at her rallies, when she mentioned Obama people in the crowd shouted "terrorist!' and "kill him!"

    Most people rightly criticized that sort of incendiary speech to violent trigger-happy morons — but RepugliKKKans call it "our base."

    • GOPCrusher

      Reminiscent of the John McCain election rally when he stated that Barack Obama was a decent human and a Xtian, and he was met with booing.
      Bible Spice wound up the crazies and now she refuses to take responsibility for her actions.

  • coolhandpuke

    If this is her new theme, the Fireside Chat, let's hope she's the Log Lady in the next one.

  • MiniMencken

    I, for one, have never accused Sarah Palin of exsanguinating a Christian child in order to flavor her Passover matzos. I only say that about Bill Kristol.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Worst. Tina Fey impression. Ever.

  • SenileAgitation

    Besides "pundint", she also (as so) appears to say that Gifford "spread the First Amendment on the floor of congress". Anyone can misspeak, sure, but she seems to be implying the Congresswoman was preparing for a patriot picnic. My favorite aspect was her continual lip pursing (gripping?resolute simpering?) to signal every significant point in her very clear message, of some kind. To those who didn't view it, please to be kind to your damaged colleagues who did.

    • ChessieNefercat

      I think everyone brave enough to watch it (I wasn't) deserves a bunch of p point bonuses.

  • OldRedneck

    I am now convinced that Baby Trig is the genius of this family.

  • CalamityJames

    Seven and a half minutes, and not once did she say "sorry."

  • AutomaticPilot

    But it goes beyond mere ignorance. She either lacks any intellectual curiosity or is aggressively lazy (probably both). Like Katydid said, Palin didn't even bother to shamble over to the Google Machine to look it up.

    • zhubajie

      In other words, she's Bush in a dress.

  • JackObin

    Her lapel pin is larger than her brain.

  • glamourdammerung

    Calm down everyone.

    Palin is merely stating that persecution of her is like the Holocaust, i.e. fictional. She has not read the memo the lunatic fringe got 1-20-2009 about how the Holocaust actually happened (i.e. Obama murdered all the white folks).

  • lochnessmonster

    Can't watch her. I'll just take your word about what she says for gospel…

  • Beetagger

    She's anti-semantic.

  • rocktonsam

    At this point, when $arah's mouth is open, there is only one thing it should be doing.

  • Troubledog

    And then she attacked the wrong Korea, bringing an end to the sleek and stylish, yet affordable Hyundai Sonata.

  • Too evil, didn't watch.

  • NadePaulKuciGravMcKi

    BLOOD LIBEL

    Did she make you cry
    Make you break down
    Shatter your illusions of love

    Is it over now
    Do you know how
    Pick up the pieces and go home

  • Left_Leftie

    Ok I couldn't hear anything except Blood Libel because I was hypnotized by the flag that is frozen in a wave. Was this filmed in a Sears portrait studio?

  • Negropolis

    Bless her little stupid heart. Even when she's trying to be hateful/victimized/offensive about one group, she incidentally goes and pisses off another group, instead (or in addition to).

    She can't even get petty defensiveness right. Sarah, how does it feel to so thoroughly suck at life? How does it feel to suck so hard with being human?

    Nail this woman to a historically accurate cross. Martyr Sarah, Queen of the Jews.

  • lulzmonger

    Yeesh. So much for "better late than never."

    From the obvious TelePrompter reflected in her spex to the overpriced call-girl make-up to the logic fail of "crimes like this are only the criminals' fault … but teh lamestream media is programming hateful lefties to attack ME-ME-ME-ME-ME!" this is one big glorious curare-tipped footbullet. Somewhere Alvin Greene is sitting in a full lotus position, trying really hard not to laugh his ass off, because even a perma-baked loony-tune like him looks like Bertrand Russell next to this blithering dipshit.

    It's really quite difficult to make everyone despise you on sight – folks have an astonishing capacity for giving the benefit of the doubt (& some are, er, well, less than perceptive) – but catastrophically misplaced butthurt like this can take her a long way down to there. She may actually wind up less popular by 2012 than Bush was by 2008. So c'mon, GOP, just do it …

    PALIN/SOME OTHER SOCIOPATHIC FUCKHEAD 2012!!!
    "Let's Take Back Our Cunt Tree!"

  • Even with a TELEprompter she still gives us the word salad. I hope she takes a few of the AEI whore diamonds she gets for each of these speeches and hires a new speech writer.

  • jeansaisrien1965

    Poor Sarah!
    She's the target of every "not-far-right" person in the US..

    Bouhoo, boohoo…
    http://img525.imageshack.us/img525/6003/palincros

  • AgentMagnetic

    "Thomas Jefferson could speak 6 languages." – OR – as Sarah Palin would say, "All of them." ~ Bill Maher

    Great post Jack.

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