THE FLY-AS-EFF DOGS OF WAR  11:30 am January 7, 2011

Nazis Were Obsessed With ‘Hitler-Mocking’ Dog That Wore Sunglasses

by Jack Stuef

In the middle of World War II, the Foreign Office in Berlin commanded its diplomats in the Nazi-friendly Nordic country to gather evidence on the dog, and even came up with plans to destroy the pharmaceutical wholesale company of the dog’s owner. [...]

“Just months before the Nazis launched their attack on the Soviet Union, they had nothing better to do than to obsess about this dog,” Hillenbrand said.

The dog, Jackie, was a mutt owned by Tor Borg, a businessman from the Finnish city of Tampere. Borg’s wife Josefine, a German citizen known for her anti-Nazi sentiments, dubbed the dog Hitler because of the strange way it raised its paw high in the air like Germans greeting the Fuehrer with a cry of “Heil Hitler!”

It is totally not addressed in this article that this dog wore sunglasses, like it wasn’t a big deal, but you should definitely click through to see the AP photo of this dog wearing sunglasses, basically telling Hitler to go fuck himself.

For the Nazis, this was their Poochie, moment, we guess. Thank you, sunglasses-wearing dog, for saving humanity. [AP]

 
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{ 67 comments }

exmartinette January 7, 2011 at 11:35 am

He was only following odors.

el_donaldo January 7, 2011 at 11:36 am

I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention. Did you say that Steve King is secretly obsessed with the Taco Bell spokesdog?

Lascauxcaveman January 7, 2011 at 12:20 pm

"Yo quiero genocide!"

Negropolis January 7, 2011 at 8:40 pm

Unfortunately, Gidget died after suffering a massive stroke in the summer of 2009 at her trainer's Los Angeles home. May she rest in peace.

exmartinette January 7, 2011 at 11:41 am

He vas only following odors.

SorosBot January 7, 2011 at 11:43 am

Did they also try to kill all those cats who look like Hitler?

Gratuitous World January 7, 2011 at 11:45 am

'help control the pet population. have your pets spayed or Hitler-ed'

Serolf_Divad January 7, 2011 at 11:46 am

Historians had not been aware of the episode before some 30 files containing parts of the correspondence and diplomatic cables were recently found by a researcher at the political archives of the German Foreign Office.

Something makes me think this researcher will soon face charges of "sex by surprise" in Sweden.

JustPixelz January 7, 2011 at 11:46 am

WikiLeaks was kinda slow getting this story out.

edgydrifter January 7, 2011 at 11:47 am

Goebbels and Speer thought the dog would really hit their target demographic if they could just make him 15% more final solution-y.

Serolf_Divad January 7, 2011 at 11:49 am

Historians had not been aware of the episode before some 30 files containing parts of the correspondence and diplomatic cables were recently found by a researcher at the political archives of the German Foreign Office.

Something makes me thing this researcher is about to face charges of sex by surprise in Sweden.

WriteyWriterton January 8, 2011 at 1:50 am

Here, little Final Solution! Does my wittle Final solution want a tweat?

elviouslyqueer January 7, 2011 at 11:54 am

"a witness, who does not want to be named, said … he saw and heard how Borg's dog reacted to the command 'Hitler' by raising its paw."

Meh, that's nothing. I've taught my dogs to shit on command just by saying the words "Sarah Palin."

V572625694 January 7, 2011 at 12:07 pm

It's easy to imagine why that witness would want to protect his or her identity, and why the reporter would cooperate.

horsedreamer_1 January 7, 2011 at 11:55 am

The inspiration for Snoopy.

DangerHelvetica January 7, 2011 at 11:58 am

The original "Deal With It" dog.

V572625694 January 7, 2011 at 12:05 pm

Smarter than Alaska: a modest distinction, like owning the most expensive Ford Escort.

weejee January 7, 2011 at 12:45 pm

Yea, tricked out with a deep fat fryer to cook the Thanksgiving turkey, and mini trucknutz.

Negropolis January 7, 2011 at 8:42 pm

The Finns are among the smartest (most educated, at least) country in the world (really), but people don't hear about it. Mostly, because Finland is basically the size, population-wise, of Metropolitan Washington.

That said, the Finns are alike Alaska in that they have a ridiculously high gun ownership rates. In fact, Finland ranks within the top four in the world on that (along with the United States, Yemen, and Switzerland). Because of this, they also have a helluva lot of school shootings for a country of its size.

Failure_Artist January 7, 2011 at 9:19 pm

They also have a lot of suicide. It's tempting to blame the lack of light (everyone gets SAD), but Hungary also has a high suicide rate. I think it's the Finno-Ugric languages causing people to off themselves.

zhubajie January 11, 2011 at 8:10 am

Heavy drinking is the national hobby.

HistoriCat January 7, 2011 at 12:08 pm

So the State Department is simply carrying on a fine tradition by obsessing over pointless petty crap while the world goes to hell around them.

V572625694 January 7, 2011 at 12:08 pm

Every time I get suckered in to going over to HuffPo, I see that sidesexbar story about rudeness being a neurotoxin. Fuck them for saying that!

tiger_tree January 7, 2011 at 12:32 pm

The Huffington Post is a neurotoxin.

DoktorZoom January 7, 2011 at 12:14 pm

And why are we learning this only in 2011? Simple: Marmaduke is a Timelord.

(Don't ya get it? It's such a small Tardis and he's such a BIG DOG!!!)

CrankyLttlCamperette January 7, 2011 at 3:53 pm

I'd rather have a pet Adipose.

BlueStateLibel January 7, 2011 at 12:21 pm

It's a good thing Nazis aren't alive today, they'd be really pissed at all the "Hitler finds out…" videos on Youtube. Perhaps one of you enterprising millenials can do a "Hitler finds out dog is mocking me" video to amuse me.

MinAgain January 7, 2011 at 12:22 pm

Heel, Hitler!

DoktorZoom January 7, 2011 at 9:26 pm

Arf wiedesehen!

MistaEko January 7, 2011 at 12:23 pm

The "Cats and Dogs 3" draft script was met with approval, but little enthusiasm.

MinAgain January 7, 2011 at 12:25 pm

Is Poland the chew toy in this scenario?

Limeylizzie January 7, 2011 at 12:25 pm

I'll be right back after I have somehow incorporated this adorable dog into my French Resistance/Nazi Sexytime fantasies.

Lascauxcaveman January 7, 2011 at 12:26 pm

Hitler was just very sensitive about this because when he was growing up in Austria there was a schnauzer in the neighborhood that was always calling him a "Vienner."

Tragically, canine slights (both real and imagined) are what turned this sensitive young artist into the monster he came to be.

DemmeFatale January 7, 2011 at 12:30 pm

Love the (now) retro sunglasses!

harry_palmer January 7, 2011 at 12:32 pm

The Obama-Hitler dog's only trick is to roll over and show its tummy whenever it sees the color orange.

ttommyunger January 7, 2011 at 12:37 pm

Slow day eh, Jack?

Jack Stuef January 7, 2011 at 1:10 pm

No. I would still be posting this story if the president was assassinated. Nazis + Dog with sunglasses. C'mon.

mereoblivion January 7, 2011 at 12:53 pm

But how did the dog smell?

inapewetrust January 7, 2011 at 1:25 pm

terrible! like wet fuhrer.

SexySmurf January 7, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Terrible.

mereoblivion January 7, 2011 at 2:47 pm

So I suspected. That, or "With its nose."

LionelHutzEsq January 7, 2011 at 12:54 pm

Ironically, though, the dog was anti-Semitic.

real_dc_native January 7, 2011 at 1:03 pm

Yes but he also a COMMUNIST!

tiger_tree January 7, 2011 at 12:55 pm

So does IntenseDebate eat comments for breakfast, or did I get deleted?

real_dc_native January 7, 2011 at 1:04 pm

This is actually more relevant than what is going on on the floor of the House today.

obfuscator2 January 7, 2011 at 1:07 pm

WHO'S A MONSTROUS GENOCIDAL DICTATOR?
WHO'S A MONSTROUS GENOCIDAL DICTATOR?
YES YOU ARE! OH GOOD BOY!

SecretMuslin January 7, 2011 at 3:50 pm

Barney?

arcane_allusion January 7, 2011 at 1:09 pm

Yeah, well you know who else was obsessed with a Hitler impersonating dog?

Oh wait, I guess this is the one time on the internet that doesn't really "work."

ManchuCandidate January 7, 2011 at 1:12 pm

Dog wears his sunglasses at night
So he can, so he can
Watch Nazis weave
Their assassination plots
And I wear my sunglasses at night
So I can, so I can
Keep folks from seeing tears (of laughter) in my eyes

SayItWithWookies January 7, 2011 at 1:40 pm

Hitler later revealed in his autobiography that the lowest point of the Reich was when Jackie said he didn't care about dogs.

SudsMcKenzie January 7, 2011 at 1:46 pm

You know what Other Dog wore sunglasses?

Negropolis January 7, 2011 at 8:48 pm

Spuds MacKenzie!

OneDollarJuana January 7, 2011 at 2:13 pm

You mean the rest of Europe supports Finland while the Finns screech in their faces about taxes being too high? And the Finns' daughters are all knocked up 'n' stuff?

horsedreamer_1 January 7, 2011 at 2:18 pm

No. But the head of state does resemble a (former) NBC personality.

Tina Fey:Sarah Palin::Conan O'Brien:Tarja Halosen.

charlesdegoal January 7, 2011 at 4:39 pm

I never said prettier. Also, it's Halonen, Halosen is the genitive form or something. And you're flattering her.

MiniMencken January 7, 2011 at 3:13 pm

So, it seeming is, Fraulein Wonkette, that you have not looked at the photo of Jackie carefully. That dog is a Dalmation! The Dalmations are a Slavic people, therefore that dog is ein Unterhund. In order for Europe to be properly cleansed and made safe for Die Herrenrasse, the dog must annihilated be! Read your Mein Kampf!

MiniMencken January 7, 2011 at 3:15 pm

You know who else is super touchy about joking references?

johnnyzhivago January 7, 2011 at 3:25 pm

I used to work with Germans and Finns and let me tell you, they still fucking hate each other.

SecretMuslin January 7, 2011 at 3:51 pm

Kimi Raikkonen and Michael Schumaker approve this message.

Limeylizzie January 7, 2011 at 4:24 pm

We all still hate the Germans, my Granny , who was a lovely, tiny and adorable woman especially hated them, one of her daughters, my aunt, was a singer and lived in Germany in the 60s and was living with the German drummer of her band , one Ziggy Hauptman, and my Granny always used to say when he called "It's that German boy with the cold Nazi eyes". Never forget!

DoktorZoom January 7, 2011 at 4:14 pm

In another astonishing coincidence, it turns out that the dog was only half-neutered.

mavenmaven January 7, 2011 at 6:14 pm

and with MUCH better music.

WriteyWriterton January 8, 2011 at 1:51 am

Dogsland, Dogsland, uber allles.

mrblifil January 8, 2011 at 9:53 am

Time to update the Extras section on the Downfall DVD.

SaintRond January 8, 2011 at 12:40 pm

Laugh all you want, but I've never met a dog yet who wasn't a Nazi in his heart of hearts. And whatever atrocity you could ever imagine, your dog would approve and even wag it's tail while you were making said atrocity a reality. But cats are even worse, though more sophisticated. While attaching a "Meowlingual" device around our cat's neck, we were also preparing for a dinner party. When the guests arrived, the cat approached me when I was coming out of the bathroom and thus alone and exhorted me to "kill them… Kill them all."

The moral is – cats and dogs are fucked. And life isn't a joke.

kidcanvas January 8, 2011 at 3:23 pm

Seig Heil Jackie !!!!

DahBoner January 11, 2011 at 11:24 am

"Hitler, who owned a German Shepherd named Blondi"

That's OK. I was obsessed with the personal grooming habits of Debbie Harry.

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