Famous Homo Meth Pastor Ted Haggard Will Star In TeeVee Special

• Praise Geezus, TLC found another meth-fueled megalomaniac desperate for reality teevee fame:  Ted Haggard! America's most favorite megachurch megahypocrite will star in his very own teevee special, "Ted Haggard's Alaska," which will feature scenes of Ted Haggard preaching to hobos at his new barn church in Colorado Springs. Yes, Haggard is back, and he's spreadin' the word of the Lord -- but certainly not his ass cheeks! He doesn't do that kind of stuff anymore. This is what Ted Haggard told a newspaper: "Tiger Woods needs to golf. Michael Vick needs to be playing football. Ted Haggard needs to be leading a church." And also, Ted Haggard needs to be leading more men into his motel room, for anal meth pleasure. [ TPM ]

• The House is gearing up for a "largely symbolic" debate on repealing Obamacare and Congressional Budget Office estimates. [ AP ]

• Robots killed at least six humans in North Waziristan. [ AP ]