The military must be pretty confused, as they probably thought they were the ones who were supposed to implement military policies, but nope! Wrong answer! It’s John McCain who will go door to door, barrack to barrack, making sure the troops know that they’re allowed to be gay now, so they don’t freak out or anything. “It is a law and I have to do whatever I can to help the men and women who are serving, particularly in combat, cope with this new situation. I will do everything I can to make it work,” he said. John McCain may not like it very much, but because his Senate colleagues say he has to personally help gay soldiers have sex with each other, he will put on a pair of rubber gloves and get to work.
“I think I have to do everything I can to make sure that the impact on the morale, retention, recruitment and battle effectiveness of the military is minimized as much as possible,” McCain said on Fox Business.
No, listen, it’s okay, we can handle it. You just do your own job, senator. You don’t have to come in here and — yeah, that’s my crotch. [The Hill]
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Ew. And right before lunch, too.
It's the policy it's the policy it's the policy it's the policy it's the policy…… haha suck it McCain.
Did you really think those were walnuts in his cheeks?
I'd always assumed they were horse chestnuts.
He must be reeling from the Puppet John McCain segment on last night's Daily Show: http://gtcha.me/ger4W4
I just saw that about an hour ago. Damn, Jon nailed him.
Saw that too. Stewart & McCain usta be buddies — didn't WALNUTS! announce one of his many presidential runs on "The Daily Show"? Wonder what he did to piss Stewart off. Maybe it was being such a douche bag about DADT.
Don't feed the blogwhore, people!
When I saw the astoundingly low p-value, I figured GotchaMedia is a weaker version of metamarcisf.
If you look at GotchaMedia's profile, you'll see all his/her comments are nothing but blogwhoring; once some of us figured that out we've handed out a bunch of thumbs down.
Some of us like whores and feeding them is cheaper than paying them. A hooker that takes Denny's or p-points as payment is my kind of hooker.
Official non link-whore: http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/wed-january-5-2...
Does this mean he's going to resign?
Does this mean the bastard will stop voting against every single bill that might possibly, conceivably benefit a veteran somewhere, sometime? Asshole.
I guess its safe for Lindsey Graham to finally come out of the closet now.
You beat me to it.
Actually, John beat it.
He gave Lindsey a handjob is what I'm sayin'.
But in which of John Mc Cain's seven houses is the closet in question.
All of them.
I'm sure the voters of South Carolina will agree with that.
eesh what a nasty old seaward this man is.
look at that face. he's literally a concern troll.
He just wants to sir-sum-vent the law.
If only we had elected him President. "Distractions cause injuries", indeed. He was speaking from experience.
Yep, that's why he crashed so many planes.
I'm imagining WALNUTS! & Ham-biscuits in full military dress, going door-to-door like two officers reporting a dead soldier, but instead of death, it's arson. The destruction of Johnny & Lindsay's closet.
That would probably be their funnest date EVAH!
Yes John, it's ALL about you.
And we have a winner.
"John McCain may not like it very much, but because his Senate colleagues say he has to personally help gay soldiers have sex with each other, he will put on a pair of rubber gloves and get to work."
That's a horrible image and enough to scare the gay out of almost anyone.
I always wondered if that was McCain at the Lemon Party.
If there's one thing the worst pilot in the Navy is known for, it's battle effectiveness.
So he's offering himself up for lonely bi-curious warriors in faraway places who don't fully grasp the ramifications of the new policy? Good for you, Walnuts. Way to take one for the team.
He's going to demand that any male soldier kiss him. If they do, he's going to punch'em in the balls and yell at them
"I bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I'll be watching you!!!"*
*shockingly it's from Full Metal Jacket.
One of many memorable epithets in that fine, fine piece of filmed entertainment. As it was the first time I ever heard it, "I'm gonna gouge out yer eyes and SKULL-FUCK ya!" was a good ride too.
The book it was based on, The Short Timers by Gustav Hasford, is pretty good. Just learned the author died in '93. The full text of the book — it's pretty short — is at the link.
Err, no, that's the Executive branch's job, because they're the ones that execute and enforce the nations laws. YOU LOST GET OVER IT.
Didn't this idiot crash numerous planes and then get captured and spent 51/2 years as a prisoner? What does this bitter old crank know about the military, except how to be a phenomenal fuck up?
You're leaving out how he only got to engage in wacky aerial hi-jinx because his father was an admiral.
The one base he was stationed at was actually named after his father.
John is ã "reverse ace". Instead of downing 5 enemy aircraft, he downed 5 of ours.
So was his Grandpa, as Stewart helpfully pointed out.
Considering that the report showed the vast majority of our soldiers don't give a shit if they are serving alongside gay people, they really don't need help coping with the situation.
There's gonna be a whole lotta gummin' going on.
GET OFF MY COCK!
Nice picture. I didn't know Tor Johnson was a senator.
Don't know what you are talking about, but John McCain was great in The Beast of Yucca Flats.
I loved Ed Wood's movies.
"I will do everything I can to make it work,” he said.
Umm, send flowers? Back rubs? Promise to use more lube and go slowly the next time we make love? Apologize for cheating on you by giving the First Sergeant head right after formation? What, John?
Something tells me that Walnuts showing up during a little ghey soldiering would cause their "guns" to fail.
…I will do everything I can to make it work,” he said.
John McCain is the Tim Gunn of the Senate.
… in powlitwicks, won dway your wrelevant, and the next dway your out.
too sexy Smurf
DON'T BORE LINDSEY!
sexual harassment and assault on females in the military is a far greater concern. especially "the impact on the morale, retention, recruitment and battle effectiveness" henghh?
Not to John McCain. Did I tell you the story about the woman who was raped by an ape?
Are you suggesting that a man who was caught calling his own wife a cunt might be a bit misogynist?
Why is this never an issue? I remember reading that something like 50% of female airforce cadets are raped by peers at training. That's messed up…
They wouldn't have a problem if they'd get out of the military and back in the kitchen where they belong, henghh?
I really do believe this is why this issue just never gets any traction, no matter how often it is brought up.
On the other hand, the GOPs biggest jackasses seem to enjoy spending countless hours speculating about the notion that our nation's finest, straightest, studliest, purest flowers of American manhood will be ravished and seduced constantly by the evil gheys.
Are there any articles not depressing and ugly to read on Wonkette today?
Welcome to Day 1 of the 112th Congress! Keep your hands and feet inside the ride at all times, and try not to choke on your own vomit.
This is as good as it gets?
I used to think eh, two years, things will turn around again, but now, so much evil, so much hate, and sadly, so much power. Shit.
Hey, it could be worse; McCain could offer to "help" the military by offering advice to Navy and Air Force pilots.
In another sense, he's a shining example of what not to do.
Look for a five-ounce bottle of "John McCain's old-timey walnut-flavored lube" to be included in every GI's shaving kit starting next month.
Has Walnutz McShame been attending too many Diana Ross or ABBA fests?
Sounds to me like John is trolling for a butch boytoy. And really…what Republican isn't these days?
Where's Jeff Gannon when you need him?
And that does NOT include running gleefully through the crew barracks, buck nekkid, screaming "FIRE IN THE HOLE."
(those of you who were having lunch, you're welcome)
McCain, just gum me.
I think I have to do everything I can to make sure that the impact on the morale, retention, recruitment …
Impact: don't want to damage your weiner on those hard Navy asses
Morale: cock sucking is fun
Retention: must be something about leakage
Recruitment: the gheys will recruit us all!
"I think I have to do everything I can to make sure that
the impact onthe morale, retention, recruitment and battle effectiveness of the military is minimized as much as possible."There, fixed.
“I think I have to do everything I can to make sure that the impact on the morale, retention, recruitment and battle effectiveness of the military is minimized as much as possible…"
Too bad that wasn't a concern when you sent Americans to die in Iraq, fuckhead.
I wonder what Cindy will be not asking or telling about;
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/11/12/inationa...
you sweet sexy minx
The guy in that picture looks frighteningly like Bob Dole.
Ann Coulter called Cenk Uygur, retarded? SHOCKING!
Some village in Breitbartstate is missing a down-thumbing, useless, trolling idiot.
He really is senile, isn't he?
I think he has some kind of olds-version of dysmorphic disorder. When he looks in the mirror, he sees Cadet John McCain, not the shriveled up, confused troll that everyone else sees.
Maybe Mike Rowe and Senator McCain could tour, like, an aircraft carrier maybe and he and Walnuts could "facilitate" some "retention" Dirty Jobs style.
Maybe he can show the gays how to crash a plane, heterosexually.
Wait, based upon this story, someone actually paid attention to Fox Business Chanel?
Fox Business Chanel — it's a very expensive power suit for a very good-looking laydee.
I'm sure that McCain, Lindsey Graham and Joe Lieberman will being going around to the troops to demonstrate that you can be perfectly hetero no mater what you do together in a cloak room.
It is a law and I have to do whatever I can to help … cope with this new situation.
Does this mean McCain is now going to work to impliment the job-killing healthcare reform?
this is good news for john mccain.
It will be videos of him while spending time with the North Vietnamese. One of those "DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU!" videos.
"I will do everything I can to make it work”
Tim Gunn called–he wants his trademark phrase back.
Also–does this mean McCain will be playing old – school Village People tunes at his rallies now? Because I would pay to see that…
" In the navy.."
The sun came up and McCain "flip flopped" several times.
Neither is a surprise.
I think one of McCain's many mistakes is that he thinks the American solider is just sitting around beating their dick like it owes them money while they wait for Johnny boy to tell them what to do next.
Mccain stfu. Your such a faggot.
Walnuts is the only one having trouble coping with "the new situation", which of course isn't a "new situation" at all – the only change being that gay service members won't have to pretend it's the 1950's anymore.
Apropos of nothing really but if Walnuts hadn't had such a shriveled up sack, his pal Larry Craig would not have ended up in the men's washroom at the Minneapolis airport. Which should be a national shrine, also. Too.
McCain should get together with Captain Owen Honors and make some more of those funny, moral boosting films that are so popular with the Navy these days. Perhaps a shower scene with McCain and Honors would help relieve some of the tension.
McCain to Honors: "stop calling me 'Cindy' when you cum."
It's too bad Walnuts doesn't show as much concern for men and women in unfirom when he votes to send them off to die in unnecessary, poorly planned wars.
Or votes to not give them a raise 9,000 times in a row.
Or fails to vote to staff and supply veteran's hospitals and out-patient offices decently.
McCain's planning to parade Boobs McCain around in front of the troops. The ones who cover their crotches and/or start furtively jerking their hands in their pockets are straight; the ones who ask Megs if they can fix her hair and clothing styles are gay. See, no asking or telling required! Problem solved!
Seriously. Won't somebody think of the showers?
I'm thinking of the ones that electrocuted soldiers in Iraq. Walnuts should think of that, too, next time he's passing out a no-bid contract.
Can't wait for his rendition of "Rose's Turn."
How soon he forgets those soldiers in Walter Reade Hospital without limbs who were distracted on the battlefield, due to stress over whether gay co-soldiers were checking out their asses. This man flip-flops in a way that is distressing.
John McCain: Cock Blocker.
I can't believe this worn out shank of an old man is still above room temperature; and Cheney too….Christ, even Cancer and Heart Disease are incompetent today.
My belief that Juan was a snorkeling pro is now confirmed.
With Steve King having an asshole career day?
What the hell would this bucket of ass know about combat "readiness"?
The last time McCain was in combat, General Lee was getting his ass whooped….
LOL
Walnuts! Lube me up bitch!
McCain will do whatever he has to to help those stalwart figng men stand strong, rigid, erect, firm . . . I'm sorry, what was I saying?
. . . "fighting men." That's what I get for browsing Wonkette on a cell phone.
Well, John knows a thing or two about seamen.
This is really getting sad. John McCain wants SO, SO badly to remain relevant. Like when he Twittered Snooki about opposing a tanning bad tax. I am not joking.
Hero of Our Time
Oh please. They already have a problem with recruitment: 75% of applicants are fat criminals who couldn't pass a GED exam.
Wider John, and take out your dentures.
I'm sorry, I accidentally gave him a thumbs up, please someone fix it!
Someones, actually.
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