Barry Picks Chicago Political Nepotism Rich Guy At Random For Chief of Staff

"Two administration officials tell The Associated Press that William Daley will be the next White House chief of staff." Yes, Barack Obama has replaced Chicago politician Rahm Emanuel with Chicago politician Bill Daley, so America has a new chief of staff to help its president fight its Congress. Obama was really thinking creatively with this hire. "Bring me a box of every single American that is capable of doing this job," he said. "Then take out everyone who isn't rich. Then take out everyone who isn't an executive of an investing firm that is also a bank. Then take out everyone who isn't from Chicago. Then take out everyone who isn't from that city's most powerful political family. And then I will pick from that box COMPLETELY AT RANDOM." He's shaking things up.

President Barack Obama has chosen Daley, a former commerce secretary, to replace interim chief of staff Pete Rouse. [...]

Daley comes from a dynastic Chicago family of politics. He is now a banking executive for JPMorgan Chase.

Everything is falling into place so well! Almost like, say, a machine.

Here's how Daley started an op-ed in the Washington Post in December 2009:

The announcement by Alabama Rep. Parker Griffith that he is switching to the Republican Party is just the latest warning sign that the Democratic Party -- my lifelong political home -- has a critical decision to make: Either we plot a more moderate, centrist course or risk electoral disaster not just in the upcoming midterms but in many elections to come.

Keep power. Power is good. Power is life.

Haha, it's almost like we're mad about this Daley being appointed to a job or something. We're not. Have it! Enjoy it! Who else would even want that job? Alan Grayson? Ha! [ ABC   News / WP ]