They always go after the rural middle-school teachers.
In the popular vernacular, it was a butt dial, the bane of many a chagrined cell phone user. This time, it led to a frantic 911 call from a wife. Soon, more than 30 gun-toting officers converged on Carleton Washburne School, which also houses the District 36 offices where the man works.
And how could such a thing happen?
“He was listening to music and he had, I don’t know, hip-hop … or music like that, where there were lyrics that were gangster-like,” explained Mark Friedman, interim co-superintendent of District 36. “So there were lyrics on the radio as he was driving home, and she listened to it and became concerned.”
Perhaps the government can give jobs to some of the black people left unemployed by the recession. They can go around to the rural areas of this country and encourage the hill people to come up and touch their non-white skin and see that they are not so scary and murderous after all. And then America will finally have Hope n’ Change. [Chicago Tribune via Wonkette operative "Juli Weiner"]
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If he had Justine Beaver on… poor guy would be in the slammer as a pedo.
Would that really be wrong?
comin straight outta Carleton. crazy muthafucker named friedman…
But if the music was playing in his car, that means… he's a cryptonegro!
THIS IS HUGE! They could be anywhere!! Right next to YOU!!1!
Cryptonegro? Wasn't that one of the fake trailers shown between Planet Terror & Deathproof?
not rural at all, this is from a super-wealthy north shore chicago suburb.
the most action this area has seen since the 2 Wilmette geriatrics fought over that campaign yard sign.
Is this the same place where the fat, old Rascal couple got in the fight over the Wendy's Baconater?
AND the same town where laurie dann had her little rampage back in the 80's.
this is why i don't live there anymore.
also, i couldn't afford to…
That music must have been "very urban" then.
Well, Keith Urban.
& he's stealing our white women. Well, Australia's.
This is a North Shore suburb, which becomes obvious if you listen to the rest of the wife's 911 call: "They didn't sound at all polite like our servants. And yet I felt a strange tingling, down there … "
So the wife, in her paranoid racist insanity, calls 911 because she heard rap, then when her husband returned home perfectly well and non-kidnapped she doesn't think to call the cops and let them know it was all an incredibly stupid misunderstanding. Good job, crazy lady!
Collatin' ain't easy but it's necessary..
Midstate Office Supply in the house.
Mourn ye 'til I join ye, H-Dog.
Don't worry, neither, bro: I'm lookin' after Baby Prince H real good, to make sure he grows up to office PROPER.
Just imagine the chaos if this music were playing. http://www.muslimhiphop.com/
Muslim Hip Hop: Teabaggers :: Slim Whitman: Mars Attacks! aliens?
'Cause that would be awesome!
Genius!
She didn't suspect him of Jungle Fever?
Perish the thought. It was bad enough that she suspected him of getting jiggy and crunk.
He's a brother of another color! Gimme a high fibble!
I'm sorry. Music caused her concern, which led to a SWAT team converging on a school? No one has any fucking common sense or critical thinking skills. No one.
Bones, Thugs and Whitey! Honestly, haven't the hillbillies,snowbillies and grifters ever heard of a Wigger? Sheesh.
They can go around to the rural areas of this country and encourage the hill people to come up and touch their non-white skin and see that they are not so scary and murderous after all.
Oh no – that leads to even worse trouble. You don't want those people interfering with your wife or daughter … could lead to all kinds of trouble.
"Hey where the white women at?"
Ohhh, It's twuuu, it's twuuuu!
"May we dance wif yo dates?"
But, but, the blacks have cutties. That's why good white folks refuse to shake our hands, or politely Purell their hands out of view. That's what you guys do, right?
She didn't think something was up when her husband was called "bitch" numerous times and told how much the bad guy's jewelry cost?
He was on the down-low.
Plus-one… Tyler Perry film treatment.
The husband accidentally downloaded some Bubba Sparkxx to his IPOD. He just assumed it was something else.
Since this woman was crazily racist enough to think that rap equals a kidnapping, I kind of pity the husband now that she's discovered he likes "urban" music.
She's gonna totally freak out when she starts to poke around in his closet and finds all the bling and his very, very urban outfits he has tucked away for when she takes the kids to visit her mother.
Chicago Tribune via Wonkette operative "Juli Weiner"
So, is "Juli Weiner" a pseudonym? Or are those scare quotes?
Didn't Juli used to be an editor or contributor or something on Wonkette? Or am I confused again? (I'm late for my afternoon coffee, so it's very possible that I'm just confused…)
Editor/contributor – one of those. Wonkette must be like the Des Moines of political blogging – you have to pay your dues there before moving onto a larger market.
Yes.
Things to do if you hear very, very urban music:
1) Roll up your windows.
2) Get into a low, crouching position and take cover.
3) Call 911 and alert them to the thumping bass.
4) (Women only) Close ears so as not to be lured by the jungle rythyms.
5) (Men) Close ears so you will not give in to the fear of an urban planet.
You forgot to include a link to the video footage.
Kid Rock = call CDC
Snoop Dog = call DEA
Ted Nugent = call ATF
Coldplay = call in Drone strike
Brilliant
LeeAnn Rimes = call RNC
Serious comment: what the fuck is Winnetka doing with a SWAT team?
They need the means to keep the undesirables out.
speak in code: "to prevent crime".
Oops, didn't read your's and asked the same question below.
serious answer, probably because of lauri dann.
You can't outrun the crazy, bitch. I done told ya.
The Winnetka SWAT squad must have looked impressive when they rolled up in their armored Prius and Segway scooters.
Is this the proper venue to ask why Winnetka even has a SWAT team?
Of course she was concerned – every time he butt-dials and she hears country music, he's drunk. It's just a leap of logic.
It was the best of rhymes
It was the worst of crimes
Serves her right for marrying a nigger…
Speaking as a long term Knoxvillian – you do NOT want to approach hill people, under any circumstances. They are a skittish creature and will fight back when cornered, especially if they are rabid/on a meth bender. Who knows what they would do when confronted with a walking, talking black person.
"I thought you liked rap music."
"I did, but that was before I realized it had words."
"Wait a minute, you didn't know rap had words? Why did you think it was called rap?"
"I thought it was because of the rhythm. You know, rap-rap, rappity-tap."
As Yakov Smirnov once observed, "What a country!"
No snark, but this reminds me of the Frontline program last night that showed how this poor guy was wrongfully executed, and one of the biggest things against him was that he seemed to like heavy metal music, so naturally he was guilty.
As a very, very urban gentlemen who enjoys very, very urban music (among other genres) I am…well, not offended. Actually, I'm not sure what to think besides having the sadz for this woman.
I remember when a sherrif's deputy in the county next to me shot himself in the leg, and then sent out call that he was shot by a very, very urban gentlement of a certain size, so they put the entire area on lockdown. I had been in the area literally half-an-hour before this occurred, and it blew my mind that I could have been unwittingly caught up in this. While on trial for whatever he was charged with (an ultimately put on some BS level of probation), he was frequently spotted at a local strip club. What a guy.
No snark, and no lesson, but just a realization of how often this stuff happens and how it happens literally everywhere from the rural to the urban and everything in between.
The husband realized he was in trouble when the wife came out in her jammies to get his ass, askin' him why he needed to go out every night of the damn week. Then she was drivin' back to the house, drivin' all crazy, and he's foggin' up the windows and writing HELP MEEEEE, that's the real hostage story here folks
Yes, Mrs. Friedman–your hubby has jungle fever. Get an apple bottom or get out.
I'ma wonder if he came home with a backwards "B" carved into his cheek.
Butt Dialing: had to go to Wikipedia for that:
"The term was invented by Amit Goldenberg, an Israeli linguist who discovered the phenomenon while researching cell phone usage among Mexican clothing sewers in a border county of Arizona."
Clothing sewers? Washing fabric down the drain? Oh, women who sew clothing, and dial with their butts? I am so confused.
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