Republican National Committee Candidates Unfamiliar With Books

Which pea-brained clown will become the new chairperson of the Republican National Committee? Whether it's the dingbat woman dreaming of getting wasted at her kitchen table again or the lunkhead who just keeps barking "Reagan! Reagan!" when asked if he has ever read a book, all five of these mouth-breathing imbeciles are perfect representatives of America's Political Elite, circa 2011.

They are absolute idiots, as common and empty as any small-town city councilmembers wondering aloud if they need to follow federal law -- inept yokels as smugly vapid as Sarah Palin herself, yet with none of her trailer-park basic-cable charms. If the hotel shuttle carrying these morons ran off the Key Bridge tonight, America would gain a collective IQ point.

Extra remedial points for world champion fool Michael Steele, who blurts outWar and Peaceas his alleged favorite book, after repeated prompting, and then immediately begins jabbering the famous-even-to-non-readers opening ofTale of Two Cities.Gah. At the end of this embarrassment, reduced-to-CSPAN host Tucker Carlson is actually silent for a moment, and deep within the dead pools of his eyes you can almost see a flicker of the intelligent writer he strangled so he could be a cable news asshole for a few years, before being fired by both CNN and MSNBC. [ The Stranger / CSPAN/Buzzfeed via Wonkette operative "Katie D."]